PODCAST · religion
Life Over Coffee
by Rick Thomas
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master's University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).
Episodes
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Three Things That Will Crush Your Faith
What is the main thing that governs your inner world on a typical Tuesday afternoon when nothing dramatic is happening—just normal life? When the email lands that you didn’t want, when your child disobeys again, when the doctor raises an eyebrow at your test results, when the bank account looks...
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The Vital Difference Between Godly and Worldly Sorrow
There are truths in the Christian life that do not merely provide information; they redirect the very trajectory of our souls. Among them is this single, sobering distinction that determines whether a person matures or stalls: the difference between godly sorrow and worldly sorrow. Some…
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Why Do I Do That? Can You Help Me?
Have you ever had that moment where you watch yourself behave, almost from the outside, and think, “Why in the world did I just do that?” Maybe it was a sharp tone with your spouse, a late-night dive into sinful escape, a moody withdrawal you couldn’t shake, or a wave of despair you couldn’t...
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There Are Only Four Problems In Life For You To Solve
Most people live as though their lives contain a thousand different problems, all unique, tangled, and unmanageable. They believe their story is so unusually complicated that no one else could possibly understand what they’re dealing with. That assumption is not just crippling; it’s untrue. The...
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When You Can’t See What You Need to See
One of the most damaging misunderstandings in today’s church is the belief that a personal relationship with God is meant to be a private one. Many Christians embrace the idea that salvation is God-and-me, Jesus-and-me, my-faith-my-business. They view the Christian life like a private devotional...
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You Can Do Better Than a Bible Study- Spend Time with God
Have you ever stopped long enough to think about the difference between spending time with God and simply doing a Bible study? At first, those two things may sound identical. After all, both activities may have a Bible open, perhaps a pen in hand, maybe a notebook beside you, or a study guide in...
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Why Can’t I Have My Life the Way I Want It, on My Terms?
Every person carries a vision—spoken or unspoken—of the life they hope to live. It forms early and grows quietly. Sometimes it begins in childhood with innocent dreams about the kind of home we want, the type of person we hope to marry, or the work we imagine ourselves doing. Sometimes it emerges...
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Church Discipline- How to Help a Person Get Right with God
Every discipler eventually faces this sobering dilemma: What do you do when a professing Christian refuses to walk with God? Not someone ignorant of the gospel, but someone who knows the truth, has heard the truth, has been confronted with the truth, but chooses to ignore it. It is one of the...
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When Is Enough, Enough? The Hardest Thing You Will Ever Do
Every shepherd eventually faces this gut-wrenching reality: not everyone you care for will choose life. Not everyone you disciple will walk in wisdom. There are people you will fight for, cry for, lose sleep over, intercede for, and plead with, only to watch them return again and again to the…
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What to Do When Counseling Is Not Going Anywhere
One of the hardest realities you have to face as a discipler is this: not everyone you meet with will change even when you are saying the right things, using solid resources, and praying faithfully. Some people will sit across from you month after month with very little movement, very little...
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I Need Help Counseling a Stubborn Couple
Every discipler eventually discovers the hard truth: you cannot change anyone. You can teach, plead, warn, comfort, rebuke, exhort, and patiently walk alongside them, but you cannot flip the internal switch from stubborn to soft, from self-righteous to repentant, from proud to humble. That work...
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How to Help Someone Who Does Not Want to Help Himself
Some of the most emotionally draining people to love are those who simply will not help themselves. You pour into them. You warn them. You plead with them. You pray for them. You stay up late, get up early, answer calls you don’t feel like answering, and sit in conversations that go…
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Number One Key When Working Through Relational Conflict
The greatest obstacle in relational conflict is rarely the issue at hand. It is the condition of the heart engaging the issue. Before you step into any disagreement—whether with your spouse, your child, a friend, or a coworker—your first responsibility is not to craft your argument but to examine...
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The Problem with Caring Too Much or Over-Caring for Others
Loving people is the right instinct for any Christian. Scripture calls us to bear one another’s burdens, to weep with those who weep, to encourage the fainthearted, and to restore the fallen with gentleness. Caring is not optional. It is part of the very character of Christ formed in His people....
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Tips On Helping the Person Who Does Not Want Help
Every Christian eventually meets the ache of watching someone they love walk away from wisdom. Maybe it’s a child making reckless choices, a friend entangled in sin, or a spouse hardened by pride. You see the drift before they do. You try to speak, pray, or reason, but it feels like you’re…
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The Hardest But Best Way to Help Someone Change
Whenever you sin in response to what you are not getting from someone—even when that thing you want is good—you step into a dangerous place. The desire itself might be righteous, but your reaction to being denied reveals the true condition of your heart. Before you can move forward with that...
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Understanding Someone Is Work, But the Only Way to Build Well
Understanding another person is sacred work. It is slow, deliberate, heart-level labor, the kind that requires patience, curiosity, and a humble approach. You can’t shortcut it. You can’t fake it. If you don’t know a person at the level of the soul, all your efforts to connect deeply will...
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How to Find Comfort Knowing You Can’t Change People
Few things in the Christian life are as painful as watching someone you love refuse to change. You see the danger, you hear the excuses, you offer wisdom, and yet they walk straight toward the cliff. Sometimes you push too hard and break what was fragile; other times you pull back and feel the...
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Why Should I Disciple If God Has to Grant Repentance First?
One of the most stretching and mysterious questions you’ll ever face as a disciple-maker is the tension between God’s sovereignty and human responsibility. How does divine initiative fit with human effort? Who moves first, and how do we cooperate without falling into pride on one side or…
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How to Change, Chapter 9: What Is Christian Maturity?
Let’s say that you’re discipling someone. You’ve walked with them through the doctrine of repentance, Scripture, and prayer. You’ve listened, guided, prayed, and encouraged. But how would you know when you’re “done”? What does comprehensive discipleship actually look like in the life of a…
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The Truth about Repentance Is You Can’t Make It Happen
If Chapter One was about how people change—through the kindness of God—then this chapter is about who changes them. The short answer: not you. That statement might sound discouraging at first, especially if you’ve spent sleepless nights praying, counseling, or pleading for someone to turn back to...
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How to Change, Chapter 8: Will I Ever Be Free?
You have a recurring temptation. It won’t go away. It follows you into prayer, shadows you in worship, and occasionally whispers even during moments of joy. You’ve confessed it, repented of it, fasted against it, and still it resurfaces. And so you ask the weary, frightened question every…
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How to Change, Chapter 7: Eight Sequential Change Steps
One of the most blessed things about the gospel is the transformation it brings. One of the most challenging things about the gospel is how elusive that transformation can feel. We believe the gospel. We attend church, pray, and study Scripture, yet too often, we feel stuck in the same habits,...
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The Most Powerful Way to Help Someone Change
Your friend needs to change. You love them and want to help, but you’re unsure how to help them change. Perhaps your husband is stuck in a bad habit, and the pattern has been in your house long enough to steal your sleep and joy. What do you do when your appeals bounce off an invisible wall?...
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How to Change, Chapter 5: Two Essentials for Change
Transformation does not happen automatically or mysteriously. It’s not the by-product of time, church attendance, or even prayer by itself. Change requires cooperation with the Spirit of God at the deepest, most uncomfortable level of your soul. And that level is guarded by two of the most…
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When the Gospel Becomes the New Legalism
The word gospel has been the most celebrated word in evangelicalism for many years. It has become the centerpiece of countless sermons, books, podcasts, and ministries. You can’t go wrong with the gospel. Or can you? Is it possible—actually probable—for God’s creation to take a good thing like…
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How to Change, Chapter 4: How Do I Know I Have Changed
The transformation process is not mysterious, though it often feels hidden. Many Christians experience a deep frustration because they see little progress in themselves or others, as if sanctification were a secret code reserved for the spiritually elite. But repentance—the Bible’s word for...
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How to Change, Chapter 3: How to Change
One of the more surprising things I’ve learned from decades of counseling is that the average Christian does not know how to change. We know how to confess, feel remorse, and promise to do better, but not how to repent biblically. The Bible’s word for change is repentance, and learning how to do…
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Investigating Legalism—Where in the World Is Worldliness?
What is worldliness, and where do you find it? Your answer to that question will shape your entire Christian life. It will influence how you worship, how you lead, how you serve, how you love, and how you engage your culture. Many Christians define worldliness as something external—something “out...
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How to Change, Chapter 2: Making Life Hard on Yourself
Every time we sin, a response is required. God calibrated our consciences that way; we have an internal moral thermostat that sends out a signal each time we transgress. One of God's many mercies to His creation is our internal warning system (Romans 2:14-15). Thus, the question is not if we will...
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Ten Things to Know Before You Can Help Someone
Talking about change and being willing to change are not the same things. Most people can talk a good game when the pressure is on. They know the vocabulary of crisis: “I know I need help…” “I’m tired of living this way…” “I want to change.” But saying those words is not the same as surrendering...
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I Am a Saved Legalist Who Struggles with Depression
Do you believe God sends people to hell, or do you think hell is the result of people who reject God? The question is complex, and your answer will affect everything from your view of God to your motives for obedience to your interpretation of suffering. Our lived experience is downstream of our...
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When Marriage Breaks: Conclusion—Ten Anchors for Your Soul
Few battles cut deeper than the double blow of discovering your spouse has committed adultery and then facing the finality of divorce. Each one by itself can flatten the soul. But when they come together in succession, it feels like an earthquake followed by a tsunami. Your compass spins wildly,...
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 7—From Adultery to Restoration
The path to dysfunction is unmarked and hidden. Nobody knows they’re on it until it’s too late. There are subtle indicators, but we rarely discern them. One of the clearest is the quiet mantra, “I deserve better.” That whisper hardened into a posture in Biff, and it paved the way to adultery.…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 6—Helping Your Offender
One of the hardest opportunities in the Christian life is learning how to help the very person who has hurt you. Everything in us recoils at the idea. The natural instinct when offended is to defend, withdraw, or retaliate. When your trust has been shattered, especially in something as…
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Mind Mapping Insecure Husband and Critical Wife
The dynamic of an insecure husband and a critical wife is one of the most common and deeply embedded relational patterns in marriage counseling. It’s a dynamic that doesn’t usually appear overnight, and it’s rarely the result of one major failure. Instead, it’s the slow erosion of trust…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 5—Surviving Adultery
There are not many experiences in life more perplexing, destabilizing, and agonizing than discovering that your spouse has committed adultery. It feels like the ground gives way beneath your feet. The person you trusted most, the one with whom you covenanted before God, has betrayed that sacred...
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Mind Mapping a Marriage from Bad to Good
Our behaviors reveal our hearts. “By their fruit, you shall know them.” If you get a discerning handle on a person’s actions, you will begin to unearth clues to what may be going on in their heart. The more biblical clarity you have, the better position you will be to care for them like Jesus...
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Mind Mapping Wisdom and Courage for Gossiping Friends
It is impossible to keep from talking about others behind their backs. We all do it in some form, whether casually, out of concern, or even in prayer. Thus, the question is not whether talking about someone will occur but how will we respond when it does? In this chapter, I’m speaking about…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 4—Listening to Adultery
In the first three chapters, we explored the deceptive language of “emotional affairs,” the way secret sin hardens the conscience, and how hidden compromise can quietly rot a marriage from the inside out. We saw that adultery does not appear overnight. It is the fruit of years—sometimes…
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Mind Mapping a Lady with a Small God
The path to a small god begins in childhood. It winds down a dangerous path until it finds self-reliant living, which is always destructive to the individual and their relationships. The way out of this nightmare of this soul is possible with a little help from a few competent friends and the…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 3—Revenge of the Conscience
You don’t want to be a dull Christian. You don’t want to harden your conscience until it no longer feels or responds the way God designed it. Every believer faces a choice: you can walk in the truth—especially about yourself—or you can hide. But know this: if you choose concealment, your…
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Mind Mapping the Best Marriage Help You’ll Ever Find
Many Christians mistakenly assume that as they learn to trust and obey God, a perfect marriage will naturally follow. The thinking often sounds like, “Isn’t a happy marriage one of the blessings of following Christ?” While the desire reflects a positive ideal, the assumption overlooks the…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 2— Fornicating While Dating
If you practiced fornication while dating, don’t be surprised when other sins surface in marriage—including adultery. Sin tolerated in seed form does not disappear when you say “I do.” A ceremony doesn’t sanctify prior rebellion; it often cements it. What begins as “small compromises” before...
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Mind Mapping Chapter 1 Strategy for the Church
This chapter is a response to a friend who is working on his thesis requirement for his MA in Biblical Counseling. He asked my opinion on the necessity of a biblical counseling strategy for a local church. As I was thinking about how to respond, I thought it would be instructive to build out a…
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In Search of Significance- Biff's Story
When the gospel is no longer your practical, everyday center—when it ceases to be the functional anchor of your life, and you replace it with lesser things, even admirable or biblical pursuits like serving the Lord, you will begin to drift toward dissatisfaction and unrest. And where…
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When Marriage Breaks: Chapter 1—An Emotional Affair
What is an “emotional affair”? That phrase sounds common enough in our culture, but it does not belong inside a Bible-shaped framework. It is a term imported from secular psychology, self-help literature, and popular media. It arises out of a worldview that denies Christ and refuses to…
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You Have a Right to Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin
Imagine living unchained from the ever-shifting opinions of others. Picture a life where your thoughts are no longer shaped by the imagined or actual evaluations of those around you. Visualize walking through your day with such a firm, unshakable connection to your Creator that the overarching…
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Captive Desires: Chapter 10—How to Resist Porn Every Day
The fight against porn is likely to be a daily battle for the rest of your life, but that isn’t bad news. Not if you’re equipped, ready, and willing to engage. This final chapter examines how to resist pornography on a daily basis, what sanctification entails in everyday life, and how genuine...
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Breaking the Bondage of People Pleasing
God will fully receive anyone who accepts what Christ has done on their behalf. It’s an incredible, transformational exchange: Jesus takes all your sins and gives you His righteousness. But though the gospel is powerfully sufficient, not every Christian walks in its practical, daily freedom. Some...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master's University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).
HOSTED BY
Rick Thomas
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Life Over Coffee have?
Life Over Coffee currently has 500 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Life Over Coffee about?
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing,...
How often does Life Over Coffee release new episodes?
Life Over Coffee publishes regularly with 500 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Life Over Coffee?
You can listen to Life Over Coffee on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Life Over Coffee?
Life Over Coffee is created and hosted by Rick Thomas.
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