PODCAST · fiction
Life With Althaar
by Gemini CollisionWorks
We are midway through the 26th Century, out at the edge of Human space, in the Teegarden system.John B, a humble repairman and ”former human” (having lost his legal status as such), has left the Earth for mysterious reasons. He is perhaps the unluckiest being in the galaxy.He has wound up at the Human Exchange Concourse, or the ”HEC,” once the site of Humanity’s First Galactic Fair. It was the biggest flop in Human history. ”The Fairgrounds” is perhaps the unluckiest place in Human space. You don’t go there, you end up there.John’s luck seems to have changed when he gets a good apartment at an amazingly reasonable price only to find his roommate is Althaar, an Iltorian, who is determined to befriend a Human (Iltorians are the kindest, nicest species in all known space, and natural diplomats, beloved by almost all, but their slightest presence causes Humans to instinctively respond with panic, fear, disgust, nausea, and loss of bodily functions).Can a Human and Iltorian live togeth
Episodes
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What, No New Episode? Another Word from Ian & Berit
Once again, there is a delay in the release of the next episode of Life With Althaar. Sorry about that, listeners. Ian & Berit have some words on the subject here, with the help of some unexpected visitors to the Gemini CollisionWorks Radiophonic Workshop. Episode 34 will be out and in your ears…
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Episode 33: Two Plants and a Booster
In which John B finds himself in apparent danger, and for once, it's actually unexpected. Dinorbiax and Fracottiverx, the strange-talking Fugulnari enforcers, have dragged him into an interrogation room to discuss some of his recent behavior, which, despite John's actions as a double-agent for…
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Midseason Check-In with Ian & Berit - No New Episode This Week
In which Ian & Berit, the co-creators of LIFE WITH ALTHAAR announce the postponement of episode 33, and make a polite request for donations (and tell you how to do that). So, as announced in the audio here, for those who didn't find out on social media last week, episode 33 of Life With Althaar -...
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Episode 32: Luck of the Drew
In which we meet Drew, who is full of hate. Drew hates the Fugulnari, with very good reason. Drew hates John B, for what appears to be good reason. Drew is full of hate because he has had his love taken away from him, and is now on a journey of revenge and discovery across the Fairgrounds that...
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Episode 31: The Xybidont with the Golden Carapace
In which, for the good of his friends, Xtopps decides he has to kick his peanut butter habit, and we experience the horrors of a Xybidont in withdrawal from the cursed legume. Meanwhile, Vert accidentally stumbles upon the Resistance's secret domain, and must choose between joining them, or...
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Episode 30: The Union Forever
In which the various groups and people of the Fairgrounds opposed to the authoritarian rule of the Fugulnari over the Humans seek out alliances with other species to aid their cause. For Torianna, this means a most-unanticipated meeting with the Dilurians. For John, it means a history lesson on...
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Episode 29: And That's the Way It Is
In which the documentary on the Fugulnari occupation of the Fairgrounds is broadcast, and all of the residents who hoped it would show the truth of what is happening there are indeed amazed at what can be done in post. Meanwhile, with most of the station distracted by the documentary, the...
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Episode 28: False Faces, True Colors
In which tension, apprehension, and dissension have, if not begun, continued apace. As Frondrinax attempts to secretly guide an official fact-finding mission around the Fairgrounds, doing all she can to avoid showing the Fugulnari oppression of Humans, the Resistance and Commander Torianna do all...
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Episode 27: Life Under the Spreading Green
In which we return after six months to a Fairgrounds both very different, and somehow much the same. Life under the Fugulnari Occupation has become a nightmare of new restrictions and bureaucracy, but somehow the Human Exchange Concourse remains running in the same dilapidated way it always has.…
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Episode 26: And You Turn Yourself Around
In which the kettle boils over. As the Fugulnari's repressive "suggestions" are given the force of law by the occupied League of Humans, making life on the Fairgrounds even more unpleasant than before, the Human residents and their allies try to find ways around, under, over, or through the…
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Episode 25: A Special Very Merry Fairgrounds Miracle Wish for the Holidays: A Christmas Fable
In which Christmas comes again to the Fairgrounds in the form of dueling parties from two of the station's least-likely proponents of the holiday, Mrs. Frondrinax the Fugulnari and Althaar the Iltorian. While everyone wishes, or at least would prefer, to got to the lovable Althaar's party, most…
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Episode 24: Benefits of a Classical Education
In which the Fugulnari "advisors" impose strict restrictions on movement for all Humans on The Fairgrounds. Very literally. To increase efficiency and decrease unnecessary movement, all Humans must wear pedometers and walk no more than 4,000 steps per day. However, between shortening the length…
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Episode 23: Trade Test Transmissions
In which the citizens of the Fairgrounds try to figure out the rules and limits of living under the new "suggestions" from the Fugulnari Advisory Committee. While Fugulnari agent Mrs. Frondrinax has her own problems in a new assignment creating a trade deal with the Bee People, Commander Torianna...
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Episode 22: The Secret Life of Plants
In which the Day of the Fugulnari Ascension arrives. EPISODE TWENTY-TWO "The Secret Life of Plants" written by Ian W. Hill and Berit Johnson featuring John Amir as John B, Hydroponics Recruiter Berit Johnson as Althaar, Sopon, Alien Barfly, Sharon, Cpl. Ness Eli Ganias as Hardyfox "H.F." Fornes,...
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Episode 21: They're Coming to Get You, Althaar
In which John tries to share the Halloween tradition of watching scary movies with Althaar, and only succeeds in truly terrifying his friend with the mere idea that Humans could rise from the grave, as zombies are a completely and literally alien idea to all non-Human species. Meanwhile,...
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Episode 20: Dial 'O' for Bigelow
In which A Murder Is Announced. A homicide in a cheap lodging turns out to have important and personal ramifications for Commander Torianna, who takes on the investigation personally. Meanwhile, Althaar, having binge-watched hours of 20th-Century Earth mystery TV shows, on discovering that Mrs....
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Episode 19: Eight Ways of Looking at a Bar Fight
In which Chip returns to The Electric Egg after a quick errand to find an immense booze fight in progress among just about everyone we know on The Fairgrounds. In attempting to sort out how the fight began, we are presented with eight flashbacks from amongst the crew, none of which actually in...
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Episode 18: Space Hat with Air
In which John B, on yet another boring and routine EVA mission to fix a very small wire on the outside of The Fairgrounds, is sent hurling away from the space station by a chance explosion. As John and the bridge crew attempt in vain to find a way to bring him back (that won't kill him), all of…
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Episode 17: The Sweet Smell of the Fairgrounds
In which the "Steves" from an annoying but highly motivated and skilled capitalist species, the Dilurians, come to The Fairgrounds, renting a downshifted and unused level, from which they proceed to wreak havoc across the entire space station. As their new business, Cadabra, expands rapidly from...
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Episode 16: Big Numbers and Little Science
In which Drop Time comes again to The Fairgrounds, though several newcomers to the station have no idea what this period -- when the station drops a certain amount of days from the calendar to get in line with Earth's -- means for them. For John B, it means his birthday is getting skipped, for…
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Episode 15: A Simple Game of SuperNova
In which The Syndicate comes to The Fairgrounds to make Chip Frinkel an offer he can't refuse concerning his bar, The Electric Egg: a seemingly innocent offer of a pool table. However, more turns out to be riding on the table, and a game of SuperNova on it, than first appears. Meanwhile, Althaar...
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Episode 14: The Other Shoe
In which we return to The Fairgrounds after six months to find the crew apparently happier and in considerably less danger, with no life-threatening incidents having happened for many weeks, which of course means that no one is comfortable, everyone is bored or suspicious, and, given the normally...
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Althaar's Very-Special First-Season Musical EP!
ALTHAAR'S VERY-SPECIAL FIRST-SEASON MUSICAL EP! music, lyrics, and dialogue by Ian W. Hill and Berit Johnson for Gemini CollisionWorks except "Credit Music," composed by Anna Stefanic and "Surfin' Bee," original music by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov all arrangements by Berit Johnson produced, mixed…
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A Between-Season Word from Gemini CollisionWorks
Hi folks. We just wanted to say hello before Season 2 of Life With Althaar begins next week. And also to be sure you're aware of where to find us online. So here are all the links... TWITTER: Life With Althaar Account Althaar's Personal Account! FACEBOOK: Gemini CollisionWorks Page INSTAGRAM:...
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Episode 13: Mars Flies in a Klein Bottle
In which all the main characters are trapped in the disreputable bar The Electric Egg after their Christmas party when the security doors seal as several station-threatening disasters suddenly rampage. Between all of their various skills, and while stuck where they are, they must come up with a...
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Episode 12: A Very Althaar Christmas
In which is essayed A Very Special holiday episode, as Althaar wanders The Fairgrounds attempting to learn the True Meaning of Christmas so he can help his human friend John B, who is homesick for Earth. Along the way he learns about some of the many beliefs (or lack thereof) of the humans…
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Episode 11: The Merciless Errand
In which John B attempts a simple errand: returning the talking (and annoying) 3-headed "Cockathreece" that he was sent instead of the goldfish he wanted from one side of a station level to the other in under an hour. But of course, it's The Fairgrounds, which means a complicated set of detours...
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Episode 10: Our Man in the Fairgrounds
In which The Inspector calls and throws The Fairgrounds into (even more) chaos, StalinBot covets a jetpack, Althaar disguises himself as a nitrogen-fixing coolant processor, Mrs. Frondrinax amuses herself with gossip (and beats up a trash can), Cole Porter lyrics continue to offend or terminally...
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Episode 9: Everything Althaar Always Wanted to Know About Sex
In which we discover WHO is responsible for the pineapple juice that's filling up The Fairgrounds, WHAT Robots do for "tension relief," WHERE the zero-gravity Twister competition will be held if the pineapple juice can't be removed, WHEN the painfully shy Magnosians are able to mate, and HOW...
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Episode 8: Robot's Rules of Order
In which the Robot Union goes on strike, leaving The Fairgrounds in chaos, with, on top of it, most of the doors and panels saying insulting things about Commander Torianna in various Earth languages. John B, as a bridge between Humans and Robots, is conscripted by both sides to convince the…
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Episode 7: The Infinity Contagion
In which disaster strikes The Fairgrounds (but doesn't it always?) when a mysterious incapacitating disease strikes every non-Human on the station - including the Robots - leaving a skeleton crew to try and run the HEC and cure the disease before life-support functions totally fail. Will the…
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Episode 6: Blood Is Thicker Than Vacuum
In which family problems come to The Fairgrounds, as Xtopps turns out to have a surprising background, and duties he is expected to take on, peanut butter junkie or not, and John's estranged sister Susan is part of the diplomatic corps sent to handle the tricky Xbidont/League of Humans situation...
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Episode 5: The Luck Navigators
In which an unfamiliar ship lands on The Fairgrounds, turning out to contain two "scien-technicians" from the species known as "The Luck Navigators," whose entire technology is based on riding waves of Luck and it's opposite, which they refer to by the technical term "Suck." Unfortunately, the...
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Episode 4: B, Robot
In which a disaster strikes that threatens the entire station, but the robots morally won't fix it because of union rules, and humans legally can't fix it because it will kill them. Unfortunately, it turns out that John B, due to his mysterious past, falls under neither of these categories fully,...
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Episode 3: Such Stuff as Dreams
In which the omnipresent (and possibly omnipotent), multidimensional Lt. Frall chooses to finally take some time off, but sends a future version of themself back in time to take their place and be present again when The Fairgrounds' senior staff is visited by The Fidorians, a friendly, dog-like...
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Episode 2: Asymmetry in Band Structure Theory
In which Dee's backup band at The Electric Egg leaves The Fairgrounds, and Dee learns to her horror why you should always sign a contract based on local time. Althaar attempts to get closer to his new roommate John B through meditation, with disastrous results. And a new Xbidont musician, a...
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Episode 1: Welcome to The Fairgrounds
In which John B. arrives at The Fairgrounds, a space station in the Teegarden's System commonly known as the unluckiest place in Human space, and finds himself living with Althaar, the nicest being you'd ever want to meet, from a species whose very presence in any way causes Humans to react...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
We are midway through the 26th Century, out at the edge of Human space, in the Teegarden system.John B, a humble repairman and ”former human” (having lost his legal status as such), has left the Earth for mysterious reasons. He is perhaps the unluckiest being in the galaxy.He has wound up at the Human Exchange Concourse, or the ”HEC,” once the site of Humanity’s First Galactic Fair. It was the biggest flop in Human history. ”The Fairgrounds” is perhaps the unluckiest place in Human space. You don’t go there, you end up there.John’s luck seems to have changed when he gets a good apartment at an amazingly reasonable price only to find his roommate is Althaar, an Iltorian, who is determined to befriend a Human (Iltorians are the kindest, nicest species in all known space, and natural diplomats, beloved by almost all, but their slightest presence causes Humans to instinctively respond with panic, fear, disgust, nausea, and loss of bodily functions).Can a Human and Iltorian live togeth
HOSTED BY
Gemini CollisionWorks
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Life With Althaar have?
Life With Althaar currently has 37 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Life With Althaar about?
We are midway through the 26th Century, out at the edge of Human space, in the Teegarden system.John B, a humble repairman and ”former human” (having lost his legal status as such), has left the Earth for mysterious reasons. He is perhaps the unluckiest being in the galaxy.He has wound up at the...
How often does Life With Althaar release new episodes?
Life With Althaar has 37 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Life With Althaar?
You can listen to Life With Althaar on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Life With Althaar?
Life With Althaar is created and hosted by Gemini CollisionWorks.
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