PODCAST · society
Passing for Normal
by Colleen and Jared English
An honest look at the life of two expats learning to live after the death of their daughter with very two very different approaches.
Episodes
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Talking about Death with Millie Brooks
As we prepare for our big move we have been looking back over our time in Australia. Without a doubt, one of the highlights has been joining Millie Brooks book club, Death Club for Cutie, where we read books about death and talk about living. Millie joins today to share about her daughter's...
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Why is easy so hard?
Jared and Colleen talk about their adventure of moving back to Austria, as Americans, who haven't yet gotten comfortable with things working out. They discuss how grief impacts everything and how they are trying to find ways to enjoy what they can.
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Moving is more than the details
Jared and Colleen discuss their upcoming move and the mental load that brings as well as the concept of integrating grief and moving with it, as a part of the story, not the center.
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Motherhood Day
In this episode Jared is back! We discussed the contentious relationship we have with Mother's Day and Bereaved Mother's Day, a bit of the history around the days, and if we could change things, what we would want to see. If you have any thoughts we would love to hear from you! Send a message on...
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Senioritis
Chloe is back and we talk about senioritis as she counts down to high school graduation and Colleen counts down to the move. We discuss SMOs, significant moments of overwhelm and how each copes with them differently.
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Siblings Perspective
We are back! In honor of siblings day, Chloe joined me to talk about what it's like being the typical, surviving sibling. She shares her hot takes on the concept of the glass child, growing with grief and what we managed to do right as parents.
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It Takes Time, a LOT of Time
In this episode we discuss the life altering, disorienting process of recovering, falling into normal, and pursuing magic again.
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A Dad's Perspective
After a hiatus, Jared is back! We talk briefly about where he's been and why he's returning to the podcast now. In honor of it being Father's Day down in Australia, we focused our conversation around a dad's perspective on being a parent/caregiver. Jared shares how he told strangers in Hobbiton...
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How to do hard things
After my unexpected hiatus I am back and discussing the funk I've been in and reflecting on one of the lessons I learned from Claire, to do hard things, you need support.
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History of Mother's Day
It is no secret that I don't love Mother's Day and the consumer based forced nature of the holiday. Plot twist, I was very excited to learn about the roots of the holiday and how inclusive it inherently is of the bereaved. I would love to hear your thoughts, do we need a bereaved Mother's Day…
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Adapt
Lessons from Claire: Adapt. I know I am preaching to the choir on this. This episode is not about how to adapt things for your child. It is a reminder to adapt things for yourself and a story about how much I love coffee and believe in the power of community. I would love to hear from you! Please...
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Leaving Holland
Hello! After our extended holiday it is good to be back. This week marks four years since Claire passed unexpectedly. In 2023 I wrote a piece called "Leaving Holland" a response to the poem "Welcome to Holland" by Emily Perl Kingsley that attempts to describe a bit what this process has felt…
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End of year wrap up
Wishing you all peace and joy in the last few days of the year. We are exhausted and are off for a bit to recharge. This passing for normal stuff is hard, sending love to you all.
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Formal and deep grief
Chloe's back! We talk about the end of the school year and formal for all of you that remember the dress drama that started so many months ago. Chloe talks about trying to have fun and how much more complicated everything is without her sister her. As invisible as the grief for a mother can be,...
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Revenge decor and holiday grief
In this weeks episode we discuss a encounters with the neighbors that could have been normal but were anything but that and why Colleen is not aggressively decorating the front yard for Christmas. We also discuss just how hard the holidays are and how our current best strategy is to try and escape.
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Routine and heartbreak
In this episode Jared and Colleen discuss the importance of routine and how they continue to rely on it as a tool in coping with grief. Trigger warning, we talk about how something as simple as making coffee helped Jared on the day that Claire passed. We also discuss the recent news that has...
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IKEA and marraige
As promised, in this episode we discuss our 25th wedding anniversary, but not in a typical format. Since Colleen just got a new workspace, we decided to discuss what we have learned over the years from all of our adventures in IKEA. And we have moved a lot. We hope you enjoy this lighter episode...
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Celebrating
In this episode we discuss the October surprise that nobody was expecting, Colleen's sudden urge to celebrate Halloween, which is odd to observe from the Southern Hemisphere. We talk about how hard it is to get to a place of celebration in light of grief and how different it is to suddenly have…
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Claire's Birthday
In this episode we discuss how awkward October is, between Rett Syndrome awareness in our new world where nobody knows about it, the anniversary of the diagnosis and Claire's birthday. Jared and Colleen share their separate strategies for dealing with the birthday and when to tell new people…
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Rett Syndrome Awareness
October is Rett Syndrome awareness month so we dedicated this episode to things to be aware of, in regards to Rett syndrome, particularly what you CAN do to make it better.
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R U OK
First and foremost, we talk about the 9th World Rett Syndrome Congress. Very exciting! Sept. 14 is R U OK day in Australia, an effort lead by a suicide prevention group. We talk about why this is so important and how having a child with special needs doesn't exempt you from all the normal stuff…
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Love/hate of Social Media
In this episode we talk about how each of us uses social media differently and how complicated our relationships with it are. We also give a quick update/ follow up on Chloe's school.
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High School stress and accordions with Chloe
Special guest Chloe wanted to come on and talk about how stressful school has been and how this is impacted by being an immigrant with a dead sister but nobody notices that. We also talk about how a love for accordions is getting her through and why Colleen irrationally went to great lengths to...
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Back Down Under
After an eventful trip back to California, we are settled back into winter to talk about how the trip home was in reality after we discussed what we expected in the previous episode. Spoiler, we had a great trip. We also talk about how happy we are to be sad.
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Visiting a place with loaded history
I know we said we were taking a break but surprise! We decided that we wanted to share something that was a little more raw while we are in the space to talk about it. In this episode we talk about some of the reasons that made the last place we lived with Claire really hard. In our typical...
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Worst best case
In a special Friday evening episode, we discuss Chloe not needing us, how crazy winter in Australia is and the complicated feelings around social expectations of grieving parents. This will be our last episode until August. We are looking forward to a break and coming back with some fresh stories.
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Self Care shouldn't be a joke and it's for men too
In this episode we talk about self care, how ridiculous a lot of the messaging around it is and what we have found to be helpful. We also give a little update on what we have learned about the Australian high(er) school situation and talk about how awesome ASCEND, the upcoming conference hosted…
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The power of music to heal and connect
We talk about how music has played a role in many of our more challenging times and how weird it is to be in a fairly normal little groove.
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Graduation, formal and learning how to parent (in Australia)
In this episode we discuss learning a whole new school system, which moves graduation up by two years and how Colleen can't cry so she's incredibly overwhelmed by dress shopping, which should be a fairly simple and straight forward process. We also talk about learning how to podcast and not…
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Cafes, coffee and getting through hard times
We've had a lot of coffee over the years. Maybe we had too much before we recorded this. Apologies that the microphones aren't more balanced and the conversation wondered, we are learning as we go.
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Siblings, specefically Chloe
In this episode we discuss our typical daughter Chloe, yet in reality she is anything but typical. She is excellent and has shown us parts of life we would have missed without her. This discussion ended up being a bit more about the wild years when we decided to grow the family and chaos that we...
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Complicated Maternal Relationships Day
A lighthearted discussion about Colleen's disdain for contrived Hallmark holidays like Mother's Day and now the addition of Bereaved Mother's Day.
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Travel Then and Now
In this episode we discuss a recent trip Tasmania along with the difference between traveling around Australia, Europe and the US. We also discuss how travel changes in light of our previous experience, with Claire and some of the things we learned getting to go places with her.
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Introduction
Take two! Colleen here. You may have listened to one of the few episodes on the podcast I had recorded, Rare and Unfiltered. I've decided to take this project in a different direction, one that I hope you enjoy. This is a new introduction that included my fabulous partner in crime, Jared. In this...
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Siblings perspective on grief and life
Chloe joins me as the first guest to the podcast in this episode. We talk about handling awkward questions and grief as a surviving sibling. She is wise beyond her years and it is an honor to share this episode.
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Moms not Martyrs
This episode addresses my thoughts on how mothers to complex kids are often expected to be Martyrs, how we worked around it and some ideas for realistic self care. If you are interested in my favorite self care tip of breathing, this article is a great place to start....
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Anticipatory Grief and What I Wish I Had Known
First episode! The production isn't pretty and I am still finding my voice, but this is a start. In this episode I talk about how I wish I had a more complete understanding of grief, including how beautiful life can be. I would love to hear your feedback, I am on Instagram @rareandunfiltered
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Introduction
Hello and welcome! This episode is just a quick bit of background on why I have decided to start the podcast. Over the last two and a half years I have noticed that there aren't a lot of people in the grief space talking about loosing a child that was multiply disabled. In my case, I am the mom…
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Passing for Normal have?
Passing for Normal currently has 38 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Passing for Normal about?
An honest look at the life of two expats learning to live after the death of their daughter with very two very different approaches.
How often does Passing for Normal release new episodes?
Passing for Normal has 38 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Passing for Normal?
You can listen to Passing for Normal on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Passing for Normal?
Passing for Normal is created and hosted by Colleen and Jared English.
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