Quality Coffee Podcast

Following the theme of made up constructs, family systems come with all kinds of labels and expectations unique to you. Simply because you grew up in your family does not limit you to their previously held beliefs if they are incongruent with your life path. Your life is demanding you to live it completely so when one construct feels out of alignment, it’s up to you to be brave enough to take the wheel. Honest, vulnerable and supportive family will be proud of you for following your true path and not tear you down or guilt trip you. We have started seeing family in a different light, exposing the toxicity of “blood is thicker than water” if you’re being held back against your will. Choose you, choose your children. And when it comes time for your children to choose for them and your children? Clap. Fiercely.This episode of Quality Coffee Podcast digs into being the black sheep, reshaping your family foundation, Grab your coffee and let’s chat!

What felt super uncomfortable also ended up being a very natural and interesting conversation. The whole point of Quality Coffee Podcast is to start taboo conversations so our community can feel more comfortable existing as we do in unison with the world around us as it exists. We love life, we love each other and we love you. It's why we are here and with a full, open and vulnerable heart we invite you to join the conversation. So! Grab your coffee and let's chat.

One of the most important themes in this episode was so many of us Elder Millennials gave up our authenticity for approval and acceptance. Think about the first time you were conditioned to have this belief? When you learned to walk and we cheered for you and you learned that was how you can seek and earn approval. In this episode Vanessa talks about how she was always taught to live for approval from a very young age and we deep dive into my midlife women are being more transparent, loving and communicative in our relationships .Ready to join the conversation?Grab you coffee and let's chat!

We women have a tendency to make to do lists and forget to add ourselves to it. Have you ever noticed your to-do list consists of work and kids and errands ... but none of it includes read one chapter of your book or call your sister to tell her your funny story from this morning. In our midlife we are working on slowing down if our autoimmune diseases haven't beaten us to the punch. We need self-compassion more than almost anything in this time of our lives. Elder Millennials are seeking self discovery, self compassion. We are reconnecting to our own sense of humanness, to our intuition and that's building up super powers we didn't know we possessed. Self love. In a world where we are viewed as "old women" struggling with just about anything and everything you can think of, we are the generation turning that narrative on its head. Nothing is wrong with us. If fact, we are steadily continuing our climb to the peak of our mountain and on our way up to these crazy new heights we've had to learn the toughest lessons of our lives. Now we are standing below the summit making our plan to attempt to make it to the very top and when we look side to side we see our core women friends. In your forties you realize the true purpose of these relationships. They're to see you through everything. Nothing is off the table. Including this summit and every step of the descent back down the other side of the mountain. They're with you to remind you to add self compassion to your daily to do list. They're there to help you prioritize it even above prioritizing them. That's why your village of women friends are so unique in our midlife experience. They're the only people in your lives who love you endlessly and will push you AWAY to tend to your own needs because they know you. They see you. They hear you. And they will sacrifice time and space with you so you can tend to your own needs first. Self compassion is a commitment to yourself with yourself and with your women friends. Three cheers for that. Get your coffee, and let's chat.

Having a podcast is a little bit like having a public online journal available to anyone to read through. Of course we knew that getting started but what we didn't realize was we'd have a way to witnessing scale our growth as humans week by week. Sometimes we edit episodes and are already different people than the two elder millennials who recorded it. Like anything, starting a new project requires new skills and our included developing the right tone and the right temperature for us to feel like these unscripted conversations were authentic and raw, as intended. Episodes were deleted, some were heavily edited... and then after a while they weren't anymore almost at all. We found our groove and realized a few things about Quality Coffee Podcast. For Tonia and Vanessa, recording the episodes is therapy. For our audience, it's a chance to weigh in about taboo topics and join the conversation. Once we publish an episode out into the world of midlife women seeking midlife clarity these episodes are no longer about or for us. They're for us all. So grab your coffee and let's chat!

Us Elder Millennials are lucky to have the awareness we do to see bullshit for what it is but even we get trapped in the wild when we are preyed on for our insecurities. Girl, we are not broken. Perimenopause is not a disease, it is a transition. Our bodies are not failing us, they are doing everything in their power to protect and nurture us. It's time to put work and effort into our mindsets. It's time to get vulnerable and raw with our core girlfriends. It's time to reconnect to our own intuition. It's time to value our bodies exactly as they are. Right. Now.You are amazing and worthy of every single cell in your body. The only noise you should be validating is 90's R&B, hip hop, the occasional boy band and maybe some Third Eye Blind. And Quality Coffee Podcast, of course! Follow along, grab your quality coffee and join Tonia and Vanessa in the conversation!

It is true that making friends becomes a more difficult task as you get older. Is it as simple as commenting on someone else's shoes? The ice-breakers are great but then the small talk that happens after is what we all are dreading. Grab your quality coffee and join us for an honest talk about what social settings look and feel like in our current stage of mid-life. Tonia and Vanessa dive into what makes making friends uncomfortable and how they're coming up with ideas of ways to make a bigger impact with short-form conversations that don't feel so soul sucking. Is it possible?Find out on today's episode of Quality Coffee Podcast.Get your coffee and ket's chat.

We sure do love a good interview episode where we take turns asking some burning questions we've been wanting to know about each other. It's a great way to get to know your favourite elder millennial podcast hosts and we cover all the bases on today's show. Serious, silly and everything in between. If you're a 40-something woman entering your midlife we will break your heart and crack you up all in the same day. Ready? Buckle up and grab your coffee. It's time to join the conversation.

This episode is for the 40-something women who are entering their midlife era and are awake to the bullshit noise that is the shaming, dismissive media burying the wise women we worked for the first half of our lives to become. We are not over the hill. Our mid-sections do not need fixing. We are not wearing the wrong clothes for our age. Our bodies are not supposed to look TWENTY!WE ARE WILD AND FREE. This era is about seeing through the cracks and looking past the societal pressures women have tried to smash through… well listen ladies, Elder Millennials are not going to lay down while we continue to spew hate and shame towards the women that, for the last two decades, were cat-called, desired (often to a fault), The only thing we are no longer capable of us bearing children. It’s our time now to return to ourselves. We are going inward and walking down quiet, dusty and dark hallways we haven’t seen since our childhoods but this time we know the way and we’re back for good. We’re dusting, we’re decorating and we’re going to take over the world building empires right in plain sight. We’re doing for our daughters. Our nieces. Our inner children. We are doing it for one another. This isn’t a crisis. This is clarity. And if you forget, we’ll be right here to remind you. It’s time you joined the conversation.Grab your coffee and let’s chat. 

What could we possibly have to say about love languages? Tonia and Vanessa have put a lot of work into understanding their own love languages and talk a lot in this episode about meeting others' love language needs also. Which love language speaks to you? Do you know the love languages of your spouse?Do you know the love languages of your kids?Do you know the love languages of your friends?Having vulnerable conversations with the people in your life sure helps form better quality relationships filled with secure attachment (see Ep.5 of QCP: Attachment Styles) and trust. Your relationships will be much more fulfilling and a nurtured friend, spouse or child always reciprocates in kind. Explore these love languages with us: - Quality Time- Physical Touch- Acts of Service - Words of Affirmation- Receiving GiftsSome of these we resonate with and others either don't impact us much or can even have negative responses. Deep dive with us into this conversation. Grab your coffee and let's chat!

Tonia and Vanessa discuss ways we can support up-and-coming generations, setting them up in ways where healing is basic decency. Instilling a standard level of being treated and accepting the treatment of other people means teaching our kids to say, "that’s not ok that you said that to me" or "that's strange that you said that out loud". Dehumanizing conversations, as the great Brené Brown discusses, includes cruelty such as name calling, discriminating, or treating others immorally and is not to be tolerated. Full stop.Tonia and Vanessa are passionate about teaching the next generation, so this unscripted and vulnerable conversation is about leading by example. We look forward in a way that is hopeful so we can change how we speak to other people and also is one more way we can break generational trauma cycles in our family systems.This is the start of many subsequent conversations to come. It's time for all elder millennials to join the conversation. Grab your coffee and let's chat.

Tonia and Vanessa deep dive into what regret means as 40-something women and how to view life through the lens of aging as a privilege and opportunity. They believe authenticity plays a huge role in making sure the decisions you make align with your core values. If you're always making decisions from a place of clarity you might find a deeply rooted sense of peace about how your life unfolds.Find out what regrets they've had, how they worked through them and how this particular topic influences the making of Episode 36! How do you feel about regrets? Do you have any?Ps. Follow Quality Coffee Podcast for new episodes every Listen in and join the conversation. Grab your coffee and let's chat.

This conversation is an extension of so many we've had in previous episodes where we deep dive into how women process information and emotions. We recognize in our forties so many of the things we're scorned for or made fun of about.. is a function with great purpose. Women talk to work out their thoughts (get it? Thought process....) and often it takes a few runs through to finally find the other thing to the chain. Aha! We know from Episode 26 that we can't expect one person to meet all of our needs. We know from Episode 34 that strangling our relationships wasn't the way to go and that they ebb and flow through seasons and compassion. So how do we process? And with who?Help us and join the conversation! Grab you coffee, let's chat.

Listen as Tonia and Vanessa talk through the lessons they’ve learned as midlife unravels the intricacies of relationships. Throughout this transformative time in our lives we begin to understand how to have healthy adult relationships with the friends and family in our lives. We stop strangling out of fear and anxiety because we are no longer living in survival mode. We can see things more clearly as we work to live more in our peace than in our chaos. Midlife reveals how each of our relationships offers value and we are sinking more into that value and allowing everything else to be what it is. Take it or leave it. And do you know what has happened? We’ve made space for love to exist where once it might have felt forced. Relationships are feeling abundant. Our needs are being met, and our relationships are thriving. This episode also dives into a midlife book we’re listening to on audible that helps to make sense of stepping into our forties and beyond with a new idea. We gain so much clarity in this time because for the first time life is truly about coming back to ourselves. You need you. Perimenopause is meant to bring us back to ourselves, recognize there isn’t anything to fix but instead embrace with love and compassion. There is nothing to fix, we are not broken. Au contraire, marketing works against the midlife woman telling us about our decline and all of the ways we can fix what’s wrong with us. It’s our important job to share our truth to help shift the narrative from viewing midlife women negatively to the beautifully slow transformation back to our own peace. When you’re sold a sad, scary story about becoming “old” and invaluable you aren’t prepared for what’s actually happening. Perimenopause is for you. Your second half of your life is all yours. When you know that in your soul you pour into yourself in ways you never have before and everything else blossoms around you because of it. This is an important conversation starter! So grab your coffee and let’s chat.

As forty-something women entering our midlife era, it's time to get real about our expectations. For ourselves, for our people and for our careers. Do we constantly raise the bar? Is the bar high enough? When we think about our standards, our core values and our beliefs about our own capabilities, are we gracious? Are we raising ourselves up? Or are we skipping the celebration of transformation, of completion, of accomplishment to rush off to the next best thing. It's time to join the conversation with Tonia and Vanessa on this episode of the podcast. We love us some self improvement! Grab your coffee and let's chat.

One of our strategies to stay ahead of your own self-doubt is to put other successful people’s voices in our ears when we’re striving for more in our lives or careers. Who has what we want? Who can we learn from? Who has set a very high standard example we can follow as a roadmap?We’ve all met Imposter Syndrome in our lives if you’ve ever pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. Tonia & Vanessa started Quality Coffee Podcast pushing through inner voices, too. What matters at all is that any great idea is explore with a solid effort. No one who ever invented anything knew if it was going to work out. No billionaire accidentally fell into a pile of money after their first business idea took off the week after they started. It takes effort and discipline to work through those obstacles and anyone can do it so long as you try.Let’s start this conversation and see where it might lead us. 40 something women… grab your coffee and let’s chat! 

The most important thing you need to remember about life is everything is made up! All of it! Tonia is an author and wrote a book about wine because she couldn’t find literature that actually helped to bridge the gap between wine drinker and wine expert. Now it exists because she made it up! Vanessa couldn’t find the quality skin care she needed so she did the research and made her own! It didn’t exist so she made it up! You don’t have to be an entrepreneur to shit gears, either. You can do anything you want, especially nowadays. We live in an incredible time. Not only can you do almost anything, there is an abundance of opportunities to earn multiple streams of income. Elder Millennials are in such a unique position and there’s no limits to what we can and can’t do… with grit and discipline.We don’t just discuss careers here, we also talk about designing your life to look exactly how it should in order for you to be the most optimal human being possible. Everything from alarm clocks to avoiding rush hour traffic, all in the name of increased peace and decreased chaos. Small tweaks can make a massive impact on your emotional and mental health. Join the conversation and follow Quality Coffee Podcast for reminders about new episodes released every Friday! 

Just a couple of sisters sharing real life stories and laughs about midlife maturity, self love and acceptance. Loving yourself after life's experiences is what the Quality Coffee Podcast is all about. Honest millennial talks. It's a life upgrade podcast. Join us for weekly taboo subjects women have been apprehensive to talk about... until now. Tonia and Vanessa are conversation starters, breaking down vulnerabilities on their self-acceptance journey. Come and join the conversation.

Plenty of our conversations have been rooted in change and this episode is no different. We are moving from an old idea where we're over the hill and looking in the rearview mirror staring back at 'the good old days'. We're forty-something women bringing truth to old sayings and ways of life that were meant to make us feel small, insignificant or as though there wasn't much of anything to look forward to. Au contraire, we are thriving and nowhere near having lived all of our best times. We haven't loved everyone we need to love, we haven't laughed all of belly laughs, we haven't given up on the beauty that is our second half of our lifetime. We are questioning all of it. Out with the old and in with the new. Won't you join the conversation?

What does healthy communication mean and how is it achieved? When we think about the approaches we have in conversation, especially when it’s a heated chat, we are getting curious and asking more questions. “When I said _____, what did you hear?"There is a lot of instances where we find ourselves feeling attacked when conversations get a bit heated but the truth is...It’s about the god damn dishes 😂Join us for this important and sometimes humorous conversation!

A topic of the times! You can’t un-see healthy relationships so let’s join the conversation and share what those are and why they’re so important to the 40-something woman! Mid-life doesn’t have to be a crisis when you’re emotionally in tune with yourself and your circle. Are you ready? Let’s go!

"This movement, I suppose that this new 'aha' realization, has created open space for our marriages to grow and expand where we were once taking up all of the space with our unmet needs."If you've ever felt tension in your marriage in any way shape or form when trying to express your thoughts and feelings about your day... maybe what you need is a solid group of 40-something girlfriends who are your safe space to relinquish all of your venting to. Come and have a listen to see what we mean and maybe you can help us in this movement of holding a spotlight on how we shift the energy of expectation while expanding as people. Grab your coffee and let's chat.

Somewhere along the way we recognized you have to love all of the parts of you without judgement. Tonia and Vanessa share a lot of humorous stories we hope you all get a kick out of, especially when one of Tonia’s daughters threatens to find a new family. We veer off-topic and take you on a journey but stick with us and you’ll be sure to find your funny bone. Mid life clarity is all about accepting life for all of its detours and making the very best of every inch of it. Let's go!

Optimal health in our forties means doing the deep dive with the right doctors to find out where the deficiencies or problems are so we know exactly what to fix with exactly the right tools. The only regret we have is not taking this kind of control over our health sooner… like twenty years ago sooner. But who has a naturopath at 21?!  From every day life to pain management, join in on the conversation.

There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to being healthy. Luckily, we are living in a time where accessing information and resources is at our fingertips... and today, in your ears! We deep dive into how one person's strategy with food or even supplements could make the next person really sick. We also discuss our experiences with specific testing through our Naturopaths and how that impacts our overall health... Information is knowledge. Grab your coffee and let's chat!

As 40-something women never has the relationships with our women friends been more valuable than now. As we evolve during our mid-life era we know so much more about who we are as women, what our needs are and who helps us to meet those different requirements. Women empower each other when we are raising each other up. Women love unconditionally when we are completely safe to be ourselves. Women stand tall by each other's side when we are in alignment with one another. It is very important that we pour into these relationships so we can nurture one another and ourselves. It makes us better people, better partners, better parents, better aunties, better friends. Today we celebrate our women friends. Come along and join the conversation.

Imagine a world where women are in charge of the finances and the ones investing for retirement. We live in the world we create for ourselves and nothing is off limits. The only way to learn how to do something is to take action and get involved. Now we do know what to do and we're having a blast doing it. Move the needle with us and join the conversation! To open up your own Wealthsimple account take advantage of our referral codes and you'll receive $25 after your first deposit from Wealthsimple! Win-win!Tonia: wealthsimple.com/invite/OF8P5GVanessa: http://wealthsimple.com/invite/GJ4AINOK - now let's dive in!

Every ten episodes we delve into uncharted territory and invite to you to learn more about who Vanessa and Tonia are.Do we always fight the system? Nah. Are we always incredibly serious? Nope. Do we always need to right wrong? Ok that one is a for sure yes but you get it. We are human. Existing takes up space in all ways and we share some silly and insightful things about ourselves through compassionate and intimate connection on this second interview episode of QCP. Join the conversation!

Why do I feel this way if It’s healthy? What does “healthy” even mean? No two bodies are alike and neither are their needs. Emotionally, physically ad psychologically we all thrive differently from on another and that’s fascinating! Come and find out what makes food healthy or unhealthy to each of us and how they relate directly to our upbringing both literally and metaphorically. Many of us grew up this way so let’s talk and join the conversation. Grab your coffee, let’s chat.

40-something women know our value and our worth - but in case you don't you have come to the right podcast. Today we talk about how we fill our own cups and what our supporting cast looks like when things are calm and when life is chaos. The basis of the conversation really comes down to us setting ourselves up for as much success as possible. Being clear about how our needs can be met means being clear about what your needs are in the first place. Join us for the conversation! Grab your coffee and let's chat.

Being certain of ourselves stems from a place of knowing exactly who we are. When we are sure footed it is because we have established and live by our core values. On today's episode of Quality Coffee Podcast we check in with our core values and discuss how we maintain alignment within our day to day lives, our working environment and our relationships with ourselves, our friends, our family and our husbands. If you don't know what your core values are you'll certainly be motivated to find out after our quality conversation starter. Grab your coffee, let's chat!

Today's discussion stems from some of the shame we experienced as children unable to talk to our parents about specific topics. Often we were dismissed or punished for merely growing up and wondering about the world. Our world. We know now as adults much of this reaction comes from a place of discomfort and projection so we are doing the work of starting conversations about some of those confusing times to avoid the same mistakes with the next generation of kids. Join us for a tough talk about allowing children the safe space to experience their world by preparing ourselves for the talks we wish our parents were prepared for when we were seeking information and guidance.

One of the reasons we communicate so well is because we offer intricately different viewpoints of the world. And although we do life a bit differently, we are in-step with one another in many shared goals and some important core values. We are sisters-in-law walking through this life together as best friends; a united front as family for each other and for Tonia’s daughters, who of course are Vanessa’s nieces. Our different perspectives help to foster important conversations and help our community and audience of 40-something women start their own conversations pertaining to the few important topics we discussed today. How do we impact the people around us? What ways can we better support ourselves, our women friends and the next generations of women?Grab your coffee, let’s chat! 

The definition of mental load for us is the anticipation of everyone else’s needs and making sure everything is taken care of so your household runs smoothly. The effort and execution it takes for a woman to do that is far more than meets the eye, even if you’re really paying attention. It’s the size of a massive sombrero - breaking our backs and putting us off balance. Have you seen that reel going around on social media? How many times has your partner asked you what they need to get from the grocery store and if you mention more than two things they ask for a list. Make your own damn list! You have your phone in your hands, send yourself a text with the items I’m giving you while I’m probably doing three things at once on my own to do list. Ladies, do you feel this way? We are emotionally and mentally exhausted at the end of the day from constantly catching and keeping up with the joneses. Come and join us for the conversation!

From the real-time discovery that we were  triggering each other with our own duties in the home (a light-hearted joke, of course), we realize a lot of what women should be doing is what makes the most sense for her own family. Traditional roles aren’t functional in our day and more women are out shattering glass ceilings, providing for their families alongside their partners. Many women are even the bread-winners!Tonia discusses the harshness of what was expected of her as a daughter and the extreme punishments handed down to her when she didn’t meet her now-estranged mother’s unrealistic expectations. One of the punishments she talks about is a 4pm curfew for about long length of time during her high school years before finally moving out on her own at 17. Vanessa discusses how traditional roles feel outdated for us and yet we strongly feel it’s none of our business how another family runs their household or how a woman chooses to live her life. No one should have any expectations of how a grown woman lives her life except for herself. 

While we started with a Gabor Maté quote about how feeling all of the emotions about a specific situation helps us to achieve forgiveness, we really sat in the feelings of anger itself. How do you handle your anger? One of Gabor Maté's famous quotes explains, "It's not about getting better, it's about getting better at feeling". Join us in having this difficult but important conversation.

Heavy conversation starters happening in toady’s episode of QCP. Tonia and Vanessa dig into important issues we all faced as children and discover the changes Tonia is making to raise her daughters with information to support and guide them through the big decisions they’ll need to make in their lives. There are a few laughs along the way as we discover her daughter has accidentally seen daddy’s private parts and shares how shocked she is that daddy has a long vulva. We quickly dive back into discussions where Vanessa felt like her body had never been her own, realizing she thought her purpose was to be an object for the men in her life whom she was meant to serve. Our intention with this conversation and the many uncomfortable turns taken is to build up the understanding that sharing more information with our children can help to set them up with a tool box full of security and empowerment. Inside of that tool kit is where they will reach when faced with hard situations so they make better decisions than we did. We are setting the kids up with tools they can use in every situation for their whole lives and empowering them to always connect with themselves first. We want to teach them to trust their authenticity and teach them to listen and always questions their body’s many sirens. 

Every ten episodes of Quality Coffee Podcast Tonia and Vanessa will spend the show answering questions the other has about their life’s experiences. As the podcast grows our audience is invited to send in their burning questions for this forty-something duo. One today’s episode discussions lead us through having children after never expecting to, what it would be like to live a day in each others shoes and then a super fun lightning round that ends in a super cute finale. We look forward to continuing our vulnerable and raw relationships with you all! 

One of the most important questions we have as 40-something women is how we can improve our sleeping habits? In this episode of Quality Coffee Podcast Tonia and Vanessa share small shifts like monitoring water intake before bed so they’re not waking up through the night, meeting with their respective naturopaths for more concrete answers, and learning more about the path to quality health and sleep by taking out the guesswork. If this description sounds sleepy, we also promise tons of explicit language and not to bore the pants off you! Sleep is paramount to our health journeys as we close in on middle age, especially with both of us navigating autoimmune diseases. We know we're not alone! Join the conversation with us and be sure to follow along with us on your favourite social media channels, too! 

Learning to find balance in a space where constant forward motion is the culture is of the highest importance when protecting your peace. Both of us agree that we want the projects and businesses we are working on both together and separately to be successful and we will do the work to make that happen. However, neither one of us is willing to sacrifice our health to do it. We are having these unscripted conversations to discover even more about ourselves right here with you in the hopes of being the conversation starters you might need to get your own ball rolling. You don't have to be an entrepreneur to hustle - we do that in many aspects of our lives. Let us know how you relate! Enjoy the show.

This conversation plays out quite naturally as Tonia and Vanessa explore ways they've learned to navigate the transition into their forties. The calmer years come from experience and the ever underestimated component of time all wrapped up in one, suggesting that our time to become better peoples ever evolving. We used to avoid pain or confrontation and now we appreciate the value in these discussions. We leave too much to the imagination when we're not direct or clear about who we are, what expectations we have and how we'd like things to be in our own lives. Join the discussion with us...

Tonia and Vanessa are ferocious and funny in this episode of Quality Coffee Podcast. Although in the beginning stages of their journey with perimenopause they address old, closed-minded stereotypes while shedding light on their experiences with common symptoms nobody talks about. Rage, sweats, changes in libido are just a few we’ve come across in the early stages we’re currently facing and we know through conversation with our elder millennial women friends we’re not alone. This episode is going to make you laugh and make you feel seen. Don’t miss it!

We love a good deep dive into making sense of our triggers or crutches to better understand ourselves and the world around us. No one gets out of this life unscathed. Equipped with this knowledge, and that of the different attachment styles, we can pursue our relationships with more care. Protecting our peace is essential to becoming the people we want to be and it also means we have to hold ourselves accountable for the company we keep. Learning about your attachment style just might be a key to unlocking the next level of healing for you!

Something just clicked when we turned forty and a calmness we hadn’t felt before took over where chaos had once ensued. Did anybody else feel that? Protecting your peace became a quiet job, an inside job. It took forty-something years to learn how to let the energy run its course before you stepped in, if you really did at all. That’s a huge part of how we are staying ready these days. Special thanks to Kevin Hart for inspiring this episode of the show. He talks about keeping his material up to snuff at all times so that when he is called on to perform he always has a set ready to go. Stay ready. We now heed this advice in many aspects of our lives which when broken down to its core always brings us back to protecting our peace. Think about the kind of energy you take out into the world if you haven’t showered yet and your kid’s school calls because they’re sick. Did you shower and get ready first thing this morning or do you wait until the last minute? What if the doorbell rings? What if you need to step out and you run into a friend? Are you ready? Stay ahead of the game, jump into the conversation with us and start taking every action you can to protect your peace, too. Let’s go!

Time, presence and respect are vital to healthy boundaries and positive experiences. Boundaries are challenging and can feel really uncomfortable to talk about as well as to establish in our lives. As we continue this hard talk that even has us stumbling here and there, we discuss the perspective of how a boundary can feel a lot like a gift to you from you. These tools are intended to protect your peace and provide you with a safe environment to be yourself. Boundaries, while oftentimes are silently put in place, can also be met with conflict when those who were benefitting from your lack of clear boundaries no longer have the access to you they’d grown very accustom to. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty together. 

Over a cup of quality coffee that Vanessa says smells like it would come out of her pores, we share our deeply personal reasons behind wanting better for the next generation, specifically in relation to Tonia’s daughters who, of course, are Vanessa’s nieces. Throughout our relationship we’ve discovered and processed the many ways we both want to positively impact the kids and how we can create more vulnerable and safe environments for them to thrive in because they weren’t always available to us growing up. What elder millennial can’t relate to that sentiment? Rather than looking back and judging the past we’re rocket boosting the next generation with tools we wished we’d had from the lessons it took to heal and break cycles along the way. We talk about Tonia’s 10 year estrangement from her mother and a glimpse at the experience that finally allowed her to make peace with such a terrifying, empowering decision. Are we perfect? F*ck no! It’s about perspective and love. It’s about connection and integrity. It’s about autonomy and honesty. And we’re jam packing episode two with all of it. Who is influencing your children and helping to mold their future? Who is in your village? What do those environments look like and how are you fostering vulnerability and safety? Let’s have the hard conversations together. 

When we boil it down, fundamentally all we want as women is to be seen and heard for who we are. In this introductory episode of Quality Coffee Podcast Tonia & Vanessa discuss their shared gifts of open communication and how our kryptonite as young women seemed to transform into these valuable skills that now help us navigate our lives and relationships. Hardships, including facing our fears (hello, world, we are now podcasters?! What!), leads to realizations about ourselves and how we function in the world. These conversations in episode one unravel some of those earliest childhood woes and how we have come to appreciate the hardships for the value they’ve shown us in our lives leading up to today. What is it they say about being thankful for your past because you wouldn’t be who you are today without it? 40-something elder millennial women, and to everyone who has reached the time in their life where we are no longer ok with “good enough”, this podcast is dedicated to you!