Rhythms of Focus

This week I welcome creative mind and graphic designer extraordinaire, Matt Strieby of New Leaf Design. I was first lucky enough to work with Matt in 2005, when he captured the vision for the art gracing the CD for my album, Ontogeny. We've been collaborating ever since.We discuss the creative process for those of us with wandering minds and neurodivergent/ADHD traits, the importance of play balanced with structure. We also talk about embracing and learning from our earlier "cringe" moments, and the importance of sometimes literally walking away from a project to give space for our creativity to breathe.We talk about Matt's personal process: reflection/visualization (often sitting quietly or walking), playing in the “sandbox” phase of sketching and experimentation, a refining phase that narrows options while preserving play, and a final production phase with technical, structured execution.Matt’s design work is at newleafdesign.com.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Frustration is an emotion that can be elusive in its origins while being capable of putting a halt to almost anything we're trying to accomplish.We feel frustration doing something like putting together IKEA furniture. Sometimes it really is about the furniture. Other times we may have something entirely different lingering in the back of our mind making it difficult to use the hex key, thus derailing our ability to put the Früken shelves together.We may buy a new tool or software that is supposed to make life easier, only to find it too complicated to use and too much of a burden or embarrassment to return. We may even feel a sense of failure tied to it. Frustration is the feeling that arises when reality fails to meet a preconception, whether that vision is clear or blurry. This week, we explore how frustration can be a great teacher if we pause to see what we can learn from it.Transcript Ah, it's going all wrong. Order the pieces of whatever's lying about. A screw is sitting there. Where did that come from? Frustration at work is quite the companion.Digital, physical, even mental piles of whatever sits about as we try to build whatever. How is this ever gonna come together? The garage, the report, the dishes. What do I do? So what do we do?When the Pieces Won't Come TogetherDemands from others pile on. The budget, the stakes, hidden or in plain view, all pile onto the pressure and overwhelm. A Camera, and a Decision Somewhere I decided, in the wake of completing the Waves of Focus materials, that I might work on my YouTube channel, maybe something to enhance the Rhythms of Focus podcast.A teleprompter would help me look at the screen. A webcam as opposed to a DSLR would save me some money. Research mode engaged. Days, if not weeks later, I emerge victorious. Decisions have been reached. Decisions themselves, these weighty beasts, desires, visions, fears, more ideally rest in reflection until they settle with some clear option forward But so often they don't. The ordered supplies sit there, and things aren't working. So I might wonder, do I know what I'm doing? Well, the answer is no, otherwise things would be moving forward.Will I know what I'm doing? Well, I don't know. I can only put one foot in front of the next. I think I may have made a mistake with that camera I bought. No, let me see how I can make it work.Frustration. The heart of it is frustration, the sense that appears when what is being realized is somehow not meeting that preconception, as clear or as blurry as that vision might have been.It's the same gap we find in story, that space between wish and fulfillment that just doesn't seem to resolve. But let me keep trying. Isn't that productivity? Sometimes.Push or RunSometimes it's a matter of an unconscious fight playing out on the stage of the now, this anger at IKEA furniture that represents the troubles of an unsolved chronic argument in a relationship that has nothing to do with this.A confusion with a report that plays out at a sense of loss at work. Other times, it really is just the furniture itself. How do we know the difference? So often we can either push ourselves through or run. Pushing becomes hyper-focused, this unrelenting, "I need to do this. I need to get this done." Everything else is ignored. Seems like we're thinking something through, but in reality, we're being driven by that force unreflected.When we run, we look for anything else that's easy to solve. That temptation to jump into email where we can mark something as read, to look at a short video on social media for some easy sense of consumption. But what we lose, what I lose, is a recognition of frustration as teacher Frustration as TeacherPausing to rest the mind on that sensation of frustration, sometimes we find a clue. In consideration, I might think of where the pieces are now.The camera's well-featured, but those features conflict with the setup. I've been trying to make it work. What if I freeze it in place this way? What if I get something to block the glare? All of them might be useful to experiment with. Where Bravery Comes InBut I gradually realize this resistance. I don't want to return it. Not only is it more time, but there's this sense of failure with it. Maybe imagined confrontation with the staff of the place that it's ordered from, the sense of mistake, error, part and parcel of the creative process.And while I can consciously say that there might be some emotional part of me that just doesn't see it that way, there's another part that may. Once confronted, though, I can then say, "Oh, that's the point where I can apply bravery."In retrospect, it seems simple. While the cost of returning something, the effort, the packing of stuff, yeah, it's there. It's the whatever that might come from conflict that blocks that true work. Thought Born from FrustrationFrustration, when managed well, has opportunity to become thought. In fact, psychoanalyst Wilfred Bion would say that thought doesn't exist without it. If mastery is an ability to do something without thought, frustration gives us the path there, a reflection that something meaningful is attempting to unfold. Deliberately pausing with those sensations, allowing thoughts to form from the emotions beneath as we witness the process, lets us see them in greater relief, lets us see the ideas below the surface, the greater meanings, the greater places for bravery.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

This week we explore how ADHD-related working-memory limits create a bottleneck. While a scratchpad can help, it often fails without a mindfulness-based technique called “anchoring.” Anchoring uses pen and paper with three “unlocks”: 1) Shift your mindset from thinking of what is written as tasks and to-dos, to thinking of them as options. This reduces wrestling with the “I really should” thoughts, reduces shame, relieves working memory, and increases agency. One mnemonic to help identify what's present is WIND(E) “want, impulse, need, drift, wind” (optionally emotion) helps identify what’s present.2) While lists are useful, it is also important to recognize that lists decay. You must periodically return to update them, thus creating a conversation with your past self and building trust with your future self.3) When a list no longer reflects the present, archive or discard it. We close with an improvisational music piece, “In the Interim,” blending minor and major keys.TranscriptOne of the struggles of ADHD is this trouble with working memory that can be very small. Meanwhile, intelligence is trying to get through this bottleneck. It's a difficult situation.The Scratchpad, and Where It Falls ApartOne quick way that we tend to resolve this issue is by using a scratchpad. Write down a few thoughts about what we have to take care of and then go through them.Often feels positive to do this. Sometimes we go overboard, write a gazillion things. Sometimes we're just able to capture what's on our mind in that moment.Feels very empowering. At least for that moment, and then things often fall apart at that point. We can expand the use of this, though, through a mindfulness technique and what I call anchoring. I've mentioned it on several episodes before.There are two or three, I wanna call them rules, but I also don't wanna call them rules. All right, let's call them rules.Anchoring is a powerful way of bringing our mind to the moment using pen and paper. But there are a few different unlocks that need to be put in place before it really blooms, because otherwise we're just using pen and paper. So what are these unlocks?Unlock 1 — From Tasks to OptionsWell, the first one is to transition from only writing tasks and to-dos to writing options.All right, so what's that about? There's a sense in meditation that we are not our thoughts — a commonly mentioned phrase that seems mystical in nature.Mystical maybe being another word for mystery beyond our understanding, unless we sit down and do this difficult thing every day. And especially for those with ADHD, that sort of meditation can seem well out of reach.So what is that? One of the troubles with ADHD is that we tend to wrestle with our thoughts. For example, we have this idea of a thing we "should do," the laundry, taking care of the fridge that's starting to rot, other things that may or may not have deadlines. Usually the ones without clear deadlines are the more insidious.And then we might try to push them out of our minds, try to focus somewhere else.Acknowledging them in one sense, for example, writing them down, can be a difficult proposition because now we're even more directly facing this thing that we don't wanna do.We don't know where to write it. We don't know how to convince ourselves to do it. We're enraged by it, among other possibilities. Meanwhile, it may shame us, worsening matters.When we can write a list as options, for example, if we have the option to start cleaning the fridge using a small, tiny step forward rather than cleaning the entire thing, among other possibilities, acknowledging what's on our mind, we're relieving our working memory. That's part of us that's already strained.This allows us then to have more ability to decide. Not only do we have more ability to decide, but now we have more energy to face the difficult emotions, the storm of emotions that are waiting for us around these difficult matters, whatever it is we decide to do.The point is that we've heightened our sense of agency. We've not forced ourselves one way or the other to do the thing or not do the thing.Reading the WINDI like to use this mnemonic: want, impulse, need, drift, wind. There's also this optional E at the end of it for emotion, if you like. So windy. It's useful as you're getting a sense of what those winds are, what's on my mind in this moment.When we practice that sense rather than writing our tasks, we then get to more, uh, clearly decide which direction to head. We have more resources to make that decision as we're not trying to push ourselves against one or the other. In this way, we're not our thoughts. We're not being driven by the thoughts.The thoughts and the emotions behind them are messengers.Unlock 2 — The List DecaysNow, the second thing that happens, second rule maybe, second unlock, occurs when we realize that the list decays. Not only do we realize that, but we acknowledge it, and we do something about it.Let's say we've chosen something on this list to visit. We've circled one thing. We've gone ahead and made that visit.If we can return to the list, when we are able, if we haven't lost our way, we have this benefit. We can see who we were before that session, before that visit that we'd engaged in.We're now in this position to say, "Hmm, what's different?" Maybe a little, maybe a lot. We can cross things off, add them, update things in whatever way, shape, or form so that it now reflects the now.As we do that, we are engaging in this conversation with our past self. That process develops a trust over time that we can use for our future selves. We can recognize, "Oh, I can hold onto an idea and come back to it, even if it's for a brief moment." It's a practice. Trust is something of a muscle that we form.It's a sense that something will continue to behave as it has been, such that it might be relied on, and developing that is a muscle.Unlock 3 — Let It GoNow, the third unlock is that once this is no longer representative of the now, we can trash it. We can archive it. We can get rid of it. It's no longer an anchor.From Scratchpad to AnchorThese three unlocks move a scratchpad from a simple thing to a very powerful ally in our day-to-day, helping us reduce scatter, manage exhaustion, connect to our task lists if we have them.We're getting more buckets of email and all the rest all the time. It helps us manage those as well.For example, we can write something like, "Visit the inbox." That can be one way of acknowledging, "Oh, there's a thing."In the InterimToday's piece of music is called In the Interim. It's an improvisation oddly written in both minor and major keys, sometimes with minor in the lower registers and major in the higher. Other times, there's a full-on transition to the major. At first, uh, you know, you might think that music doesn't allow for this kind of transition.But somehow, if you commit to it, it does. But that commitment isn't blind. It isn't like, "I'm gonna do this no matter what." That's often a recipe for might makes right type of a disaster. Instead, it's an acknowledgment of both the major and minor, respecting both as they are. I hope you enjoy it.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

This episode I am joined by Waves of Focus community member and fellow wandering mind, Brett. As a software developer, he is no stranger to technology, and as a creative mind with many ideas, he is also no stranger to getting lost in the mounting pile of notes and files that continue to accumulate.Some of his latest experiments in organization have led him to exploring ways that AI can help as a personal assistant managing his workflows and preparing Daily Engaged list based on his energy levels.While he is getting some good results based on he prompts he has built, we also talk about some of the pitfalls of AI and the need to refrain from outsourcing all of our thoughts and creativity to a tool that has been programmed to be a "yes man."I hope you enjoy and will share your experiences and thoughts on using AI as a productivity tool.You can find Brett at @ebrett on GitHub.Tools MentionedObsidianClaude CityPersonal AI InfrastructureCoworkClaude CodePaiAntinoteSetappMentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

In this podcast episode, I reflect on boredom. Boredom is a restless, sometimes frightening emotion that can feel like an indictment of a life being wasted. This leads some of us to run toward distractions, productivity tools, or urgency.The problem as I see it, isn’t boredom, but the avoidance of it. Shaming ourselves with “shoulds” and infinite task lists amplifies the dread. Instead, how about taking a different approach by pausing to acknowledge boredom as a signal rather than a driver.Can we look for small glimmers of life to sow seeds of play within the necessary chores or uninspiring moments which are simply part of living?I end the episode with a piano piece blending two of my other compositions, “Herd” and “Alight”, both in F minor. As with all of my music, it is ever-evolving.TranscriptAh, boredom. What am I gonna do? Nothing to do? Ugh. It seems as if boredom has a sense of a exhaustion to it. Restlessness? But it's base, I think it can feel quite scary. Some can even view it as this indictment against themselves. Of, somehow this reflection of an empty life. And so we might look to occupy ourselves with the next productivity tool, the next craft, the next project interest, whatever. Well, to put it more bluntly though, we run from that feeling of boredom. But the trouble isn't the boredom, it's the running. The Guilt in BoredomWhenever we dismiss, cutoff, any emotion, we cut something from ourselves. Sometimes we shame ourselves with the shoulds. I should be that person. I should have done more in my younger years. I should do the laundry. I shouldn't be bored.We use the should as this sort of knife. Any of these emotions can be painful, and so we distract ourselves. Sometimes we become overwhelmed standing at the edge of some work, some field of knowledge, the gaping maw of some effectively infinite task list.Just start. Just start might be the admonition here. One I'm certainly not a fan of, especially as it can easily touch off more of the, "I don't wanna" feelings.Running from boredom can sound like, well, I better act now and get rid of that feeling. The feeling is like it's pesky. Something to push away. As we dive into another activity, often fueled by and further fueling some sense of urgency, but if we pause, pay attention to it, allowing it to be neither indulging nor ignoring, we might acknowledge its power, it's grip.Sometimes it's a small tingle, but other times it's this existential dread. A sense that life itself is being wasted. And now we add on that we only have our shameful selves to blame, effectively compounding the problem.Things Still Need to Get DoneSome of those boring things, taxes, laundry, dishes, and the like, yet need doing. And when we pause without running, we can hear that emotion as a signal and less have it become our driver.When we pause, we might be able to consider, "How can I find some life, some flow within whatever it is that might be boring? What tiny plant of play perhaps can I find in here and nourish?"The answer, of course is not obvious. Sometimes it's not even possible. But what we do start doing is we stop avoiding the things that are causing us boredom and troubles, and instead start recognizing that we can try to find life within them, and that that itself is a practice.When I returned to the piano on those days that I'm not feeling it, I'll still sit with it. I'll breathe it in. Feel the moment as it is. Maybe just maybe lightly brush a key with a gentle touch, and then maybe just maybe press a key. I'm not acting, I'm not "faking it until I make it," a phrase that makes me otherwise nauseous.Finding Life in One NoteInstead, what I'm doing is I'm listening for the life. Within that note, can I hear that? I'm not trying to defend against the space time, distortions of boredom and other strong emotions, but I'm trying to integrate it, sing through it with it, form with it. I am where I am in the mush of the moment. And can I hear the beauty of that single sound in a single note, in that mush?And if I can find that itself, not a simple task, but if I can, even if the entire session is about that, somehow something unlocks. Whatever comes next, somehow rings more deeply, whatever's left of that session, even if it's only for a few moments that I'm playing something, somehow it feels more engaging and powerful than had I spent hours pounding away at the keys.Next sessions, both at the piano and in other things of my life throughout the day, somehow carry a different confidence. This confidence that's born in the bravery of facing that stalwart foe of boredom once again.It is a challenge, but it's a worthy one, and it's one that's rewarded not by some pot of gold at the end, but by a return to where work itself feels alive. If we can find that life, that play, that care, then we're also finding maybe the mastery and meaning in the moment.Sitting with BoredomIt's not solved in a day, and I don't have a hack for you, but I do have a suggestion. The wandering mind wanders, not least of all through avoiding flaring and difficult emotions, but also we can guide it with practice engaging emotions like boredom again.In this way, it becomes less driver and more messenger. The next time you might feel that wave of boredom approach even envelop you, can you be with it? Can you be with it at a place that engages you in that boredom?Can you do so not to a degree that overwhelms you, but also not so little in such a way that you pretend it doesn't exist. Can you do so to whatever caring degree makes sense to you? And if so, what does it have to say?Maybe it says nothing beyond some vague feeling. I wonder how you might experience making that next decision. What would your next session be like, whatever you decide. Might it not be richer than if you simply acted?Heard and Alight in F minorThe following piece is a mix of a couple of, uh, pieces called Herd and Alight, both of them in F Minor. They're both, I suppose relatively old, a couple decades old. But as with all of these pieces, they tend to evolve. I like the, um, structure that's formed in these that they, um still allow for a flow and a change from one performance to the next.Sometimes I repeat one thing more often and another thing less often and I vary here or there, but still that structure's within it. Anyway, hope you enjoy this piece, that's kind of meld between the two. Um, sometimes I'll think of these pieces as something of a garden, if you will. You know, one grows and another thing fades. Sometimes they combine, sometimes they become two. Anyway, this is called Herd and Alight. Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

This episode explores how those of us with ADHD and wandering minds often link our “scatter” to creativity. Of course, turning creative ideas into finished work requires managing motivation, energy, time, and life rhythms. And when scatter turns into "error", we can become completely derailed.It may seem counterintuitive, but I would argue that "error" is a vital part of creativity. That being said, while Bob Ross’s “happy accidents” and Miles Davis’s attitude toward mistakes can be inspiring, this mindset tends to only ring true for masters of their craft. Perfection paralysis and self-accusations about mistakes can cause harm and prevent us from moving forward or even starting in the first place.But I like to define creativity as discovering what you’re making over time. This should leave no room for what may be perceived as a mistake, whether in art or even in practical tasks.So when we are confronted with a perceived error or mistake, I invite you to pause, acknowledge any emotions coming up, and use error to realign rather than ignore it.We close out with an experimental music piece, “Inspawn,” which is a combination of "inspire" and spawn". It gives you a glimpse of how I learn jazz techniques through play and letting creativity take me on a journey with no mandatory destination.TranscriptThe Lovely Chaos of CreativityBut my scatter is my creativity!Those with ADHD, wandering minds and the like are often creative. Sometimes we attribute that creativity to the feelings of scatter itself. This idea, that idea, they all jump in and suddenly there's a connection.But there can be troubles with creativity. Guiding it to a conclusion means several things, including managing motivation, energy, time, balance in the rhythms of our lives and more. Today I thought we can consider the vital role of error in creativity.The Shackles of Perceived MistakesPithy statements from Bob Ross. Talks of "happy accidents." Or Miles Davis who talks about not fearing mistakes as there are none, sound wonderful. They can even resonate as true. But really mainly is true for a master in their craft.If I were to pick up a paintbrush, and by some amazing luck was able to create the Mona Lisa, but then somewhere I, I dunno, threw a splash of red paint across it because that's really where my painting abilities are, that might be a mistake.But the truth in those pithy statements is that we can create more trouble for ourselves by accusing ourselves of making mistakes.Creativity as Playful DiscoveryAnyway, let me back up a moment. Creativity. What do I even mean by creativity?Creativity is this development of something over time as a discovery. We discover what we're making in the act of making it. We don't know the steps there. We don't know what the end will be. There's some blurriness to the vision.We don't know, maybe both the steps there or what the end might look like. In this way the information, the skills, it's not entirely within our conscious awareness. Some aspect of the work is outside of us. And in this way, the act of creativity is about discovering something as we make it.That doesn't have to be about art then, it could be a budget, a report, fixing a door that's stuck. Whatever it is, we try to envision something and then take some gentle step forward. That idea of a next action of breaking off, a small piece, of slowing down, of searching for the simplicity, the fundamentals, but then there is error.The Perfectionism ProblemSomewhere we discover that whatever we're doing is deviating from that blurry vision, making it worse. We don't know where we're heading, but where we're heading doesn't seem quite right. Many with ADHD end up berating themselves somewhere here.The so-called perfectionism may have prevented even reaching that first step, as effective as it is in defending ourselves from the shame that might arise when we're looking at trying to complete a thing. As we are a creative, we weave together this unknown as we resolve this vision.Discovering Curiosity in EmotionLet me take another side step for a moment and define emotion.I've defined it in other episodes, is that which comes to mind. Admittedly a different definition than what you might be used to, but it allows for a different point of view that can be helpful here.For example, words, thoughts, even logic. These are the cresting of emotion into consciousness. We're trying to understand what we can trust to exist, for example, when these thoughts then are the manifestation.Now what does that have to do with ADHD? If we define emotion this way, every emotion has discovery within it. There's this unknown becoming known, and this transition can touch off other emotions. When we're in flow, things are building. It can be delightful.We're moving through those windows of challenge. Neither overwhelmed nor bored. But when errors appear, that deviation from vision, because emotions are involved, they have this tendency to find their way through the windows that are open now.The "I should have known," it leads to this wave of regret. "What don't I know," can touch off fear. "What does this say about me that I don't know?" Well, this wave of shame can grow.The shoulds, the woulds, the potentials, and all the rest, entwine with anger, if not rage, themselves finding lightning rods in ourselves and the worlds around us. These feelings might have been born in the early years of being chastised and accused of being lazy and whatever. They all echo. Finding their way through those channels that are now open to consciousness.Practicing the PauseWhat can be most helpful, as it is often most helpful, as it is also often most difficult, is to first pause. Within that pause, we can now practice acknowledging those emotions as they come to mind. As we're in those sessions, in those visits.Because as we do that, we can see those symbols, the stories, the ideas, whatever they are that relate to the vision or not. We can engage this lifetime practice of care, bravery, and mastery.Whatever the craft, you can see that pain of lacking perfection. And in so doing, we see that error that's inevitable. The path will always deviate from the vision. The mistake is ignoring it. The lesson is in acknowledging it 'cause that's where we can realign and engage once again. Inspawn Today's piece of music is called Inspawn. It's kinda like inspire and spawn mixed together as a word that probably isn't a word. Anyway, that's what it is. Um, I've been experimenting a bit with, with, uh, jazz, trying to learn it.As if that's a thing I can actually completely learn. It's not, it's, it's another vast field, mountain range on which to, to try to climb. But you can hear a bit of the dominant major, or major sevenths I should say, and maybe some, uh, as well, some ninth chords in here.It starts to grow more into the jazz realm when you start adding more of those higher, harmonic registers. Anyway, just learning it. And when learning, I think it's always about, uh, trying to integrate play in some way, 'cause that's the way you make it a part of yourself. And, and so that's what I'm doing. Anyway. Hope you enjoy the piece, it's not exactly jazz, but you can hear some of the little echoes of jazz in here perhaps. Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

This week I have a discussion with Michael, a Waves of Focus group member, about living with ADHD and a wandering mind and how he refines tools and routines to manage distractibility, interruption sensitivity, and RSD.Diagnosed as an adult six years ago after years of being mischaracterized with learning issues, Michael gained clarity through ADHD community resources (including How to ADHD and Waves of Focus). He describes “refinement” as narrowing and consolidating workflows across methods and tools.We discuss trust vs. doubt in systems, keeping clutter out of daily view, the emergence of AI, and preserving autonomous thinking and human creativity.You can see more about what Michael Porter is getting up to at his website.Helpful Tools for ADHD and Wandering Minds Referenced:ObsidianJiraWaves of FocusOmniFocusDevonThinkDue reminder appTodoistMentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

SummaryThis episode explores how ADHD and wandering minds can make “I don’t wanna” feelings so strong that even writing a dreaded obligation down feels difficult because, in doing so, we are admitting it exists.To get over this hurdle, I introduce a foundational skill from the WAVES method called anchoring. This technique allows us to pause and write down what is happening and the pathhs available to us in the now.We treat these items as options rather than tasks that fill us with overwhelm. When ready, we prepare to “launch” into an action by giving ourselves the choice of where to give our attention in the moment. We end with a reflective piano piece called “Caregiver.”TranscriptBut if I write it down, that means I have to do it. One of the struggles of ADHD, wandering minds and beyond is that it can be terribly complex navigating the, I don't want to feelings, for example. Maybe we get caught in the sense of where they come from, or more often than not, we're trying to outsmart them. Of course, that can lead to its own troubles. So what do we do? "I don't wanna" feelings can run deep. Have a listen to episode nine to get a sense of what they can be about. One place they crop up is in even admitting that something exists. A report, the taxes, whatever it is, can become so dreaded that even writing them down becomes a terrifying enterprise. If we write it down that means we would admit to ourselves that there's this thing to do.As odd as that might seem, it's simply human. We can expand that notion to the world of therapy, for example, if we give voice to a problem, maybe we're making it worse. I think we inherently, naturally gut level, know, that as we pay attention to something, some emotion, something that's stirring the back of mind, barely cresting into consciousness, we start to give it a form.Words, thoughts themselves are this cresting of the emotions, this consolidation, crystallizing of them into our minds. "Did I just say something dumb in that conversation? Well, if I don't call it out, maybe no one will notice."The same idea happens within us, even if there's no one to see, but ourselves. One of the foundational skills in the WAVES approach to practicing ADHD, is that of anchoring. It's a simple pen and paper technique that I'll give you the rudiments of right now.It's probably something you've done before, but didn't realize that there were some unwritten rules that were around it, and so it maybe faded out and you wondered what happened to it. You may have felt that success, but then it was fleeting, illusionary, like so many others.But once you know its rules, well, then you can start to practice it. And you can use it at any time. You don't have to use it. It's there when you feel like it. It's particularly helpful when feeling scattered, confused, exhausted, really any negative emotion really. Or even a positive one if you wanna feel like I wanna focus a little more strongly in this direction or the other and not get lost on some rabbit trail.So here's the technique:First is to pause. Probably the hardest bit of all of this.Secondly, if you have a pad of paper, you can use that as this anchor. If you, uh, don't already have this pad of paper around, you can, start a new one. It could be the back of an envelope if you like that.Next, write in some attempt to acknowledge what your options are of this moment. Grounding yourself in the reality of where you are now. And we're doing this without following through on doing them.You might have an idea, you might have a feeling, but consider any of these possibilities:One, what are you doing in this moment? If you're multitasking, what are those multiple tasks? Or maybe you're spending time with someone at the moment, you can write the option to pay attention to them. Secondly, what might be pulling at you? For example, maybe there's something you're hoping to remember to do. Examples might be something you want to do, something you might impulsively do. Maybe there's something that's gnawing at you, something you feel like you need to do.I like to use the mnemonic wind. WIND: Want, Impulse, Need and Drift or Do Nothing. So these ideas that are in your mind in this moment might feel like you are about to brainstorm, but this is not brainstorming.Brainstorming is where you're associating. You're connecting one idea to the next, pulling to mind what might be there lurking there, but you're connecting one thing after the next saying, oh yeah, there's this I can do and that I can do it, et cetera. Well, you could do that if you want, but uh, I might look at that as a form of in indulgence, if you will. It's in the meditational way of speaking. You're inviting a process to tea. To manage this, to avoid the brainstorming part of it, rather than feel like you have to hold back or something, you can write down the option to brainstorm.Now that leaves then whatever is on our mind in this moment, including the option to brainstorm. Something else might come to mind, like something that you don't want to do right now. Something that doesn't make sense to do right now.Well, you could write that down on the side. Maybe cordon it off and say, okay, that's for later. Maybe you're wondering what's on my to-do list. Lemme go there first and take a look. Well, that'd be something of an indulgence too. Rather than dive there, you could write down consult to-do list. Now that's an option. The idea is that you are consulting your own mind. Now you might wonder what to do if something else comes to mind, something to develop, something to get into. Again, give those a separate space if you like.A Today List. Sometimes you have one to two things that come to mind. Sometimes five or ten, maybe more. But at some point you've reflected where your mind is in this moment, and that's the moment you've anchored. Now there's a next phase to this if you'd like.So now that you've anchored, there's also this idea of launching. So anchor and launch. So we get to this fourth step, which is where launch begins, which is at any point, circle an option that you feel makes sense to be with now and attempt to be with that thing you've circled.And of course, you might wonder, what if I wander off? I'd be willing to bet that you'd wander off even the moment that you've circled it. Say, oh yeah, I'll come back to that. That's part of it. What you can do, if and when you catch yourself wandering, I should say, return to the beginning and consider adding where you wandered off as a new option on your anchor pad. What that does is then it helps you to align yourself with your intentions.It might take one time, two times. Might take several times, but somewhere things start to align. Lastly. When that anchor no longer represents the now, and this is important, and this is one of the places you may have gone off the rails with this that it didn't work out for you. Feel free to add things, cross things off.Make them once again reflect the now and once it does not reflect the now, get rid of it, archive it, discard it, trash it, whatever makes sense. If there's something important on there that you wanna remember, okay.Where do you trust that you would be able to come back to that? Maybe you just title it differently and say, this is an important thing, and you put that off to the side somewhere. That would be part of another type of practice. Figuring out longer task lists and communicating with future you at a longer distance than what we're doing here now. Whatever it is, if that paper is no longer representative of the now, your mind in this moment, it's no longer an anchor.Now this all might seem simple, and it is in some ways, but so is meditation, which in particular for wandering minds can be quite difficult. Fortunately, I find this much easier than the typical rest your mind on your breath type of meditation.But one of the major muscles that are practiced in this is that as you're writing something down, here in this anchoring process, you're doing so as options, not tasks, and this is one of the important muscles to exercise.A wandering mind tends to be zoomed in the periphery, the short term memory, that's all in short supply. Working memory, what we play with in this moment is in full blast. As a result, thoughts can pass by and we know they're short-lived and we'll lose them quickly.If you've ever used a microscope, you can understand. If you see something, it's like, oh, better not lose it. The nature of the mind being a lens itself is that you forget that you've lost something. And as a result, we tend to hold onto things, jump from one thing to the next in near instant calculation of, do I have the momentum? Do I have the motivation to do it? Is this more important than what I'm doing? Or it might all boil down to this is shinier on fire and there's seemingly no thought process.You may even find yourself there without having realized it. So when you do catch a thought, it immediately becomes this burden. It's this, I have to do this while it's on my mind. But because it can be so heavy, this affront to sense of agency, we might decide well, maybe I can let it go. If it's important enough, it'll come back to me. Whether by floating back again into mind or by urgency of a deadline or somebody reminds you, whether we do it or not isn't the issue. It's that we're forced to make this decision then and there.Because of that zoomed in nature of the mind,...

This episode focuses on the struggle of the blank page. How it can seem like a hack to use pre-existing content to spring us forward to a starting point that isn't "nothing."But it can also build limitations to create something new and exciting when boxing ourselves in with the ideas of our previous work, past notes, or even AI. What seems like a great way to jump ahead can turn into a confusing mess that feels like it's missing your own voice.The blank page is terrifying because it mirrors self-doubt, distraction, and exhaustion. Yet prematurely searching outside oneself can narrow thinking, block new paths, and reduce creation to what already exists.Vitality in art comes from discovery and play—a resonance between self and world—rather than repeating what’s been done. Research and AI can be useful, but the unique seed of an idea must begin from within. Even the worst rough drafts are a necessary fertilizer for growth through revision.We end with a piece called "Where Did the Table Go?"##TranscriptThe Anxiety of Starting from Scratch All right, I gotta write this thing. I gotta make this thing. How can I make this thing with as little time as possible? Okay, maybe I'll ask AI. Okay. I look through my past notes, I'll research what I've already done. Minutes go by. Oh, what is this? What am I, I can't, no, this doesn't make sense. Hours go by. This is a mess. We all have things we need to create the work, the repeated work, the blank page. There's schools of thought around writing, for instance, that promise never having to work from the blank page.We can dive into our past notes nicely cultivated, and pull out some inspiration. Or perhaps we have a project we can pull up the mighty internet or the promises of AI to outline the work for us. But then something can feel missing.What is that? What's missing is us, the creative self. Why would we run from that? But there's some reason. That blank page can be terrifying. It holds up this mirror that says what you think you're creative? Do you think you know what you're talking about? Do you know how many other people know more than you about whatever it is you think you're talking about?Every comment pummels us as we sit further and further back into the chair, if we can even manage to stay there. A wandering mind, ADHD or beyond can certainly find reason to run here. Distraction, exhaustion, collapse all nipping at our heels, if they haven't gotten us already.One of our methods of relieving that tension is in the search for what's come before. Un-blank, the page. The Complications of Pre-Existing PathsBut there's so many troubles that can come from other paths of premature search. If we look at existing research our mind is pulled to what exists. If we look at past notes, we might block new paths. If we ask AI, we really only see the average of what already exists.Whatever it is, we lose the seed of discovery in creation and it is in discovery where we find vitality. When I play a piece of music that I've played a hundred times before without variation, there's no feeling in it. It gives both me and the audience a headache.When I can play with a sense of finding something new, well, now we're talking. That sense of vitality comes through in the notes. That's what we're listening for. That's what feeds back on itself.But discovery itself is only an artifact. Its vitality comes from play. Something deep within a connection and exploration of self and world reacting, but guiding. A creative building sense of fulfillment, meaning, and more. In other words, discovery is a resonance between world and self building from within.Nurturing the SeedIt's not to say that research, previous writings or even AI should not be consulted. On the contrary, any one of these can be powerful themselves, bulging with their own caches of knowledge and more.But the seed of an idea, a sentence, a blurry vision from within is where it all begins. While a conceived egg is tiny, it is so powerfully unique unto itself. It can gather whatever it can from womb to world, from that epicenter, all the while remaining powerfully unique unto itself.So for a moment, it's useful to hold that tension of the blank page and see what comes to mind. Of course, you might be worried, what if it's terrible? What if there's nothing unique? What if I've got nothing to offer?Where There is Shit There is GrowthIn the wonderful words of Earnest Hemingway, "The first draft of anything is shit." And what I love about that phrase is the dual meaning. The first draft is no good for consumption. Whatever is, there is a sketch, a start, maybe even ugly. But shit is also a fertilizer. It's what gives the ground the nutrients of growth. We need it to be there for the second and third drafts and beyond where matters flower and bloom. We visit and revisit building and practicing facing the blank page to write again. Somewhere something is written, but beyond something changes within ourselves, as we practice, we create ourselves. And maybe that's even scarier. That's the pause for bravery. But when we can. We can start from within and go from there, because that's where it's alive.Where Did the Table GoTitles for music seems silly when I realize I've created a new piece. I tend to sit in silence for a moment after playing it, and I wait until some title comes to mind. Sometimes it makes sense, though many times it doesn't, and I keep crafting it. This is part of the art itself, I suppose. So while I had a previous piece called, "Where Did the Table Go?", well, this one perhaps, surprisingly, came to mind as I think I found the table. I hope you enjoy it.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

I am delighted to be joined by speaking coach and producer Rachel Hanfling, who has coached everyone from shy speakers to Fortune 500 leaders to help them find their authentic voice.In fact, she was instrumental in helping me shape my course, “Being Productive,” and the ADHD-focused adaptation that came after. We discuss how people with wandering minds often struggle to express ourselves under pressure and how effective speaking is a learnable skill requiring guided practice, not an innate trait.We discuss communication with a focus on the wandering mind. Hanfling shares how the foundation of helping anyone sound like the best version of themselves, starts with understanding both the audience’s needs and the speaker’s intent. We also get into using nonverbal elements of communication like eye contact, body language, voice, and energy.You can learn more about Rachel Hanfling at her website. And if you're interested in learning the tools to find your authentic voice, make sure to check out her upcoming course, Own the Power of Your Story.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

This episode explores the concept of "doing nothing", which, ironically, is still an act of doing "something." In fact, “doing nothing” is a valuable practice where thoughts wander, tensions release, and ideas form.When you think about the usefulness of empty space in an uncluttered closet you can draw parallels to the clutter of our own minds.We continue questioning what “nothing” really means. A teenagers’ common response to what they've been doing, “nothing,” reveals that phone time, games, and chatting still contain connection, creativity, humor, and art.Life is hectic and there is always something to do, which may make "doing nothing" one of the most important parts of your day.The episode ends with an extended piece in C-major titled “Wind at Play.”Transcript:Vitamin NothingEyes closed, thoughts wander by, an idea connects...Whether returning from vacation, waking from a nap, or riding a single deep breath's trailing exhale -- energy flows, tensions release, and ideas form from what seemed to be nothing.Doing nothing can of course be a good thing. Maybe it's a trope by now. But let's see where we can run with that trope.But, What Is Nothing?There are parallels of practicality to nothing.A closet, for example, when overfilled makes getting to things difficult. What we can get to is either wrinkled or just in front. Meanwhile, when there's empty space, getting to what we want becomes much easier.There must be a parallel to engaging our lives, work, and play.But, What Is It to "Do Nothing?"Turning to what may be our resident experts, teenagers, we hear with rare exception, in response to what they've done with their day,"Nothing."But nothing cannot simply be staring at a wall. Even sleep has active components.So I ask,"What does doing nothing look like?""I'm on my phone," "playing games," "talking to friends,"...Asking further eventually reveals worlds of connection, creativity, music, art, humor, and more.So even nothing is something.Still, what then is "nothing"?Is it a sense of release from responsibility? A responsibility to others? from ourselves? Could anything beyond responsibility be just one of a myriad species of Nothing?The Art of NothingSuch a practice must be a rhythm of structure and a lack thereof. Some even find it useful to schedule unstructured time, particularly as the weights of adulting accrue.But then, how much is too much Nothing?Is it when we feel good and ready to do Something? Is it when the world demands Something from us? Is it only when we parent ourselves through a proxy of lists, calendars, and timers to say,"That's enough for now"?Personally, I add "leisure" (perhaps another word for "Nothing"?) as a deliberate part of my daily visits. (See below) That Nothing may last a few minutes or hours. But once a day, I must acknowledge to myself, this is my time.Is that it then? Is Nothing when I have the sense that I own this moment of time?Whatever it is, when I cannot make it to Nothing, my day feels crowded, strained, or perhaps better said, unhealthy.Nothing, in this way, is both a vital resource and a useful measure. Somewhere, I need my daily dose of Vitamin Nothing.KouroshMentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Growing up in the 1980s, heavy metal hairbands were rock gods looked up to by kids and adults alike. While studying piano and awkwardly attempting early compositions, I wanted to hurry and get to the "rocking out" part of my musical prowess, just like the bands I admired so much.It's so easy to fixate on an immediate reward that you forget practice is what helps us climb the ladder to success. It takes us to another level of connecting with ourselves and with our art.Improvisation still depends on structure. It's the balance of chaos and structure that allows you to create your own "voice" that becomes authentically you. Mastery comes from loving the craft itself.We end with an improvised piece in C minor called “A Flavor of Slop.”TranscriptAh, the 80s Growing up in the eighties, Friday night music videos, then MTV, these were the big things I'd get so excited to see. Aha, Billy Idol, Michael Jackson, Madonna, the rest. Big hair metal was amazing. Guns and Roses was still underground. Metallica was counterculture. Practicing my scales, arpeggios, playing green sleeves on the piano with my teacher. I drift off to wonder how do these people, how do these musicians make the music they do? My First CompositionsIt seems so far off from whatever it is I'm doing. I try to make up this, that, or the other. My first composition was something of a series of notes running up and down a scale and some key that I made sure to include sharps and flats, just to make sure it was complex enough.Eagerly I'd show it off to my piano teacher and she patiently, kindly, maybe even sincerely said something along the lines of, "That's nice," followed by a "Now, let's get back to work." And in my mind, but, but I'm not rocking out like Poison yet. It's Not About the RewardWe're so accustomed to reward. The end goal, the vision of whatever we think will bring us joy, happiness, if not some unconscious fantasy of immortality. And we see it in our psychology with Skinner who linked stimulus and reward. We push it in our science and medicine when we implicitly say that the only thing that matters is what can be measured.We say it in our day-to-day lives when we believe that we only need that hack or trick to make something work. We do it to ourselves when we aim for a score in that language app, rather than using the app to connect with our own voice within.The trope of focus on a journey over its reward persists as a trope because we so often don't live it. We Practice ADHDStudents often wonder about the WAVES approach to dealing with an ADHD mind. But it's not about "dealing with", it's practicing. We're practicing ADHD.Well, what good is that? Well, when practicing the piano, we do eventually find a place of ease within the notes, we discover a voice.Regularly I hear others tell me that they can instantly recognize my style of playing. It's not that I deliberately sought that out. I got there by practicing the fundamentals. The voice came of its own accord.Over time whatever unique bubble I represent in the current wave of existence manifests on its own. It's just the way it happens. My job is to be aware and remove impediments where I can regularly over time. It's also known as practice.Real Practice Helps Us Find Our VoiceNot only that, but the thing is I enjoy it. I enjoy that process. I enjoy the engagement of challenge in the small and large, finding a possible trailhead of mastery where I can.Feeding the play that comes with that, that resonates with the sense of meaning within and often with others. The same thing happens when we practice our way of being.ADHD for example, is this flow through a thin passage of the now. Strong and powerful, or stumbling and turbulent. It's like air within a flute, bow across a string, a tap on a drumWe don't manage ADHD, we practice it. And in so doing, we can find our strength and power, and more importantly, our own voice.When hearing the simple ease of Frank Sinatra's, almost spoken, but clearly sung tunes, and we watched the smooth moves of Michael Jackson's feet.When we know those moments of care, calm, play, and mastery, all hidden in that gentle, barely perceptible smile of a craftsperson at work, we know that they're in love with the craft, the practice itself. And when we bring that joy to the moment's challenge, we bring that self into the work. The funny thing about improvisation is that it rests on structure. Without structure, we'd only have a mess. As I say, there's something interesting that does seem to happen at this interface between chaos and structure.Whatever systems we build have to include the nature of our wandering, that flow of thought, that delight in play. Otherwise, we ourselves are not there. We're simply acting as some automaton.So much of those, "I don't wanna" feelings are about rebelling against being that automaton. When we approach structure, when we practice. When we look at the study of others, their systems, their views of the world. There can be something powerful about pausing, and aligning this with our own voice, with our own moment of challenge, which then lets us take in whatever it is we're studying to grow our own voice.The following piece is an improvised work, but it rests in a very clear structure of C minor, a particular set of notes. And as a home of C, that root note and the notes and the structures of the notes themselves all form something.But all of those notes, all of those ideas, all of the ways this sonic building has come to be over the eons, if you will, has been brought in into that studied place in order to become play, which I hope you can hear between the notes.The following piece, it has a silly name, it's called "A Flavor of Slop". I like that name. It's in C Minor, as I mentioned, and I hope you enjoy it.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

When building a thing to bring out to the world, we face “marketing.” Some of us who have had to put this on their to-do list may well have had a similar response to me, which is a rather complex mess of emotions perhaps summarized by:“Ugh” The whole enterprise can touch off feelings of selfishness, manipulation, and more. Here’s a thing. Gimme money.“Ugh" Some time ago, I learned of Billy Broas’ work in marketing, joined a course he’d put together, and was duly impressed by how he focused on honoring a person’s agency, that ability for a person to decide for themselves.As agency is truly the centerpiece of the work I do, whether as a therapist or as a productivity talking head, I invited Billy onto the Rhythms of Focus.In this episode, Rhythms of Focus S01 Episode 52 - Agency, Story, And Symbols with Guest Billy Broas, we wander this way and that, true to the name of the show.We get into the ideas of:Marketing as argumentPeople’s inherent dignity in decision-makingThe importance of story, and how it is is about consciousness, attention, and meaning, not just chronology.and much more I hope you give it a listen and let me know what you think!You can also learn more about Billy at his website, ​BillyBroas.comCheck out Billy's book, Simple Marketing for Smart PeopleAnd find his manifesto at marketingisanargument.comChapters:[00:01:24] Introduction[00:03:35] The Problem with Manipulative Marketing[00:06:29] Humans as Machines — The Reductionist View[00:09:14] Ontology, Dignity, and a Different Starting Point[00:14:10] Story, Meaning, and the Limits of Facts[00:15:11] Heaven, Earth, and the Architecture of Meaning[00:23:33] The Masculine, the Feminine, and Creative Wandering[00:25:15] Purpose, Worship, and What We Sacrifice To[00:28:24] Pausing, Routine, and the Practice of Reflection [00:34:02] The Hero's Journey and the Chiasmus[00:37:10] Thoughts as Messengers, Not Masters[00:39:41] Artificial Scarcity and the Theft of Agency[00:40:51] Philosophy Over Psychology — Enhancing vs. Removing Agency[00:45:32] Trust, Love, and the Voluntary Transaction[00:47:54] Where to Find BillyMentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Telling ourselves “I should just do that thing” rarely motivates action and instead can lead to self-judgment.The word “just” can be an unconscious way to trivialize the emotional difficulty of starting the work we have been avoiding. "Just" becomes the gatekeeper of procrastination that protects us from feared feelings while costing self-esteem.By noticing and isolating “just,” we can recognize the emotional “wall” it hides and reframe it as an opportunity to explore what the task evokes—fear of incapability, resentment of others’ demands, boredom, or a sense of wasting life — so we can practice becoming able, reconsider responsibilities, and renegotiate agreements with ourselves and others.We end the episode with a piano piece titled “Running on the Sun.”TranscriptHow often have you tried to start something you've been avoiding by saying:“I should just do that thing”?Unfortunately, the phrase rarely, if ever, gets us moving. Instead, we can slump into a pile and call ourselves lazy.While trying to get ourselves to work, we've also introduced this insidious culprit - the word “Just”.Using "Just" as a GatekeeperThe word "Just" so readily slips into our speech. It’s as if we’re trying to say that the work, whatever work we are avoiding, is easy. Once we start, we'll be moving.Using the word “Just” is often an unconscious attempt to trivialize the emotions of the work or at least those that surround starting it.It’s not easy. We know it when we hit a wall. But since the word is so often unconsciously invoked, we don’t see the wall."Just" is a gatekeeper. By ignoring the word “Just”, we allow it to keep us in the world we know, protecting us from dreaded feelings, albeit at the cost of self-esteem. It's the sentinel of procrastination, guarding us from actually examining any ghosts of negative emotions we fear lurk within the work.Since we don’t know what is “just” keeping us from doing it, a sense of incapability and inferiority creeps in, but at least we’ve saved ourselves from the dreaded unknown of the work."Just" is a guardian of the First Act, protecting us from some worrying feeling but also keeping us from the solutions we may seek, much like any form of procrastination.Behind the Wall of "Just"But when we see and know its magic, we can dispel it. Now, when we see the word “Just”, we can see the wall, often this puzzle of emotion standing between us and the thing to do.By singling out the word “Just” in the sentence, we can now reframe it as a place for exploration. “What are the feelings of this work?” Better yet, “What is it about that thing that conjures these feelings?”In sitting with the work and allowing ourselves this sense it can appear, we might start wondering, “If I tried, would my inability reveal itself? By doing this, am I just bowing down to someone else’s whims? Would I expose myself to boredom, this sense of wasting life?”In acknowledging these sensations more directly, we can start finding where we feel unable and begin practicing to become able.We can consider how we have taken on responsibilities and where our decisions were in that process. And we can then face the fears in renegotiating agreements and more. Agreements with ourselves, and with others.None of these are simple questions to answer, but starting tells "Just" to step aside so we may enter Act II.Running on the SunToday's piece is "Running on the Sun." I don't know why anybody would ever want to run on the sun, it seems mighty painful. The gravity would be too much at least. The floor would be pretty hot. Just all around inhospitable.Nevertheless, such is the title of the piece. I hope you enjoy it.For more, visit and subscribe at rhythmsoffocus.com.Hashtags#adhd #adhdtools #neurodivergent #attentiondeficit #wanderingmindsMentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Many of us with ADHD and wandering minds have been told our motivation problems are mainly about dopamine dependence. This has led to numerous activities and products built to "gamify" motivation and productivity.But trying to “game” oneself with reward apps, points, quests, races, or even caffeine often works only briefly because it goes against what is true for ourselves.What makes video games engaging is not flashy stimuli, but a flowing progression of challenges calibrated to be neither too hard nor too boring, where enjoyment comes from the activity itself.Motivation can come from pausing with existing frustration and tension, asking what feels boring or irritating, then simplifying, shrinking, or slowing tasks to gently reduce tension and “titrate” challenge. Then, dopamine becomes an afterthought.We end with one of my oldest and ever-evolving compositions, “Aging,” written in C minor.Transcript:Maybe if I trick myself. Maybe if I reward myself. Maybe if I use that app that gives me points, sparkles, and a lot of fanfare, I'll get my chores done.The idea of dopamine dependence, or maybe dopamine starvation, is often a suspect in the world of ADHD and wandering minds.If I only had more dopamine I'd get things done.The phrase is supported by this idea of an "Interest-based" nervous system - this idea that has somehow been interpreted to mean that we can only do things that we have some a priori interest in, effectively arguing for a lack of free will.And so, some of us look for ways that we can "game" ourselves. Maybe we consider ways to set up a points system for which chores are worth something. Maybe we turn our to-do list into a set of quests with levels, loot, and the like.Or how about "how fast can I clear this Inbox?" reminding me of trying to get a kid to tie their shoes in the morning by asking them to race out the door.Maybe we even use a chemical like coffee after the work report is done, quite literally trying to get a flush of dopamine after doing something that we'd otherwise avoid.Look, if any of these work for you, great. But I believe, more often than not, it'll work once or a few times, and then some part of us, starts to say "no."Why? Because we have been dishonest with ourselves.Any Worthwhile System Requires HonestyAny system of work worth its salt, requires honesty with ourselves.Part of the problem is in how we interpret the word "game" itself.We look at video games, for instance, as this poster child of dopamine dependence. Things flash and make noises on a screen, beaming photons into our eyes, jiggling air molecules at our eardreams, sending signals into some secret lairs in our brain, a mesolimbic pathway of the ventral tegmental area, the nucleus accumbens, working its way into the dorsal striatum.Whatever the terminology, the more seemingly scientific, the more it becomes a metaphor for whatever lies beyond our control. We may as well imagine some evil villain with a smirk and a lab suit, standing in our brains, laughing as they pull the levers for the things that make us do wrong.What is "gaming"?"Gaming" in this context is a word that seems to be interpreted as, maybe I can trick that guy into pulling the levers at the times that I want, by attaching something that already makes the dopamine flow with the thing that doesn't.But gaming, video gaming, is very much not about this process at all.Things that go blip and bloop do not excite us. Or maybe they do briefly, but then that fades off all easily, its novelty spent.What excites us is not the rewardWhat excites us is a flow of moving from one challenge to the next. At first we see something that somehow fits some window of not too difficult, not too boring, and maybe even completable.We nudge forward, stomping on that one bad guy. And then we see some next window of challenge, maybe bringing some of what we've just accomplished with us.One at a time, and then blending into each other, like picture frames across old-school film, we get into it, stomping, swinging, dashing, grooving, ready to take on more.What began as a trickle became a river.Whatever it is, we are enjoying the thing for the thing itself. We haven't skirted meaning. We haven't cheated ourselves.Beyond games, we can do this with any type of play or work, enjoyed or not.The Path is ThroughThe path in is through the frustration, the tension, the emotion that already exists, not by avoiding it.If we can pause with that sensation, not force ourselves through or hide from it, we can then ask, "what is boring, frustrating, irritating about this?"And then, simplify, or maybe shrink things down, or slow down and try to render some of that tension into ease. Gently, - as we do.And then with doing so, we then start finding the real levers that can adjust the challenge within ourselves - tuning into where we are. We can adjust those levers for ourselves.Once we learn how to titrate a challenge for ourselves, dopamine is an afterthought. The word itself experienced distant as it always has been.Sometimes we can even transform an experience from frustrating to enjoyed, even bridging the “why can’t I just start because I know I’ll be ok once I’m there?”We bridge that into beginning with an honoring of the emotions that make up who we are now, rather than treating ourselves as if we don't know better.#ADHD #WanderingMinds #ADHDandMotivation #NeurodivergentMentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

For those of us moving through life with ADHD or wandering minds, “SMART Goals” can act as too rigid a process. One that may impede the value of the end results.These so-called “SMART Goals” can actually feel dehumanizing, as if something measurable and specific were given more weight than something that might allow your wonder and creativity to flow even more freely.Premature goals can be weaponized by workplaces, while much of what matters in creativity has little to do with relevance, specificity, and time.Creative work, meaningful work, is often inherently blurry. There is an act of discovery when we allow our minds the freedom to ask questions, to play, and to pause and reflect.Transcript:How big? How small?Word of warning, today's episode is one of my crankier ones.You may have heard of the so-called "SMART Goals". Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. Some employers even demand them in their relationships with you.But I find SMART goals to be anything but smart.When it comes to goals, we often hear something along the lines of:“What do you see yourself doing in 5 years?"“Dream big! Now dream bigger! You are only limited by your imagination!"Ugh.Does anyone else find this to be similar to "Think of a number. Now think of a bigger number"? I guess we're supposed to keep doing this until we're all wearing Infinity Gauntlets or something.Then we are supposed to write them down, perhaps using the obnoxiously titled "SMART" mnemonic to make them Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.Perhaps a boon for the ever de-humanizing forces of parasitic corporations, I have some concerns about these so-called "smart" goals:Premature specificity can lead to a rigidity that can shatter the goal, the individual, as well as injure nearby innocent bystanders. (See also every story villain.)Not everything that can be measured matters. In fact, I'd argue that most that matters cannot be measured.How do I know what's achievable until I'm there?How do I know what's relevant until I explore?And for those of us with wandering minds, Lord help us with the clearly implied use of clock time rather than that of self time. (See also Clock time vs Self time)What goes horribly missed is the over-privileging of the written word, and the under-privileging of the wordless experience born in the seemingly menial but utterly vital, tiny world of a single visit.Privilege the WordlessExperience is largely a wordless place.Much of the Now cannot be translated into words. As much as I love playing with words, they are hardly more than emissaries, often beaten and beleaguered when sent on meaningless missions.We discover what we are creating in the act of creating it. What we once thought was clear and concrete, becomes obviously not as we are there, in the Now.We learn what we can learn in the act of learning it.Any creative vision will be, by definition, blurry in one sense or another. We don't know the time it would take. We don't know the steps there. We don't even know what it will look in the end.Envisioning that blurriness, sensing a direction, we wordlessly feel the tensions and decide from there how to shape and shift the moment's sails.Privilege the TinyWhen we focus on the tiny, we often unlock the large.Catching a tiny turn of phrase in a client's concerns, I ask,"Wait, what do you mean by that?"From here, new worlds may open.What they once stated as a goal perhaps of therapy even is now revealed as only an attempt to further suppress an important part of themselves. "Make me not angry" - but what if there is reason for the anger, a reason you hadn't considered? "Make me not worried" - what if the worry is doing something for you? What do we do with that? Make me do my work - What if doing your work is a bad idea.I'd rather not collude in their collapse.Working on the second movement of Beethoven's Sonata 14, I stumble here and there, a bit at the beginning, a bit at the end, and a bunch in the middle.Diving into a single measure, slowing it down, feeling for the basic nature of the single notes involved, I gently rework a small knot in the fabric.Why here? Why now? I don't know.But something interesting happens in that discovery in the tiny, a turn of phrase, I realize my goal was wrong as the whole piece begin to flow different from this tiny place of practice.Of course...Of course there is utility to thinking of large matters.Of course we can revisit where we thought we were going to make adjustments.Of course it is useful to think of small steps on the way there.But premature goals can be weaponized - forced, forming a procrustean bed of words, twisted into submission. Have you done the thing by now? Why haven't you done the thing? Update the ticket. Say where you were, say where you'll be, convince me.Returns and revisions take time, a time easily burdened upon our future selves.I wonder if the world beyond goals is one far more vast and rich than they'd have us believe.KouroshPS What do I see myself doing in 5 years? Probably eating a sandwich or something.PPS I'm still cranky.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

This episode discusses the concept of willpower, particularly in relation to the struggles of individuals with ADHD.We question the traditional notion of willpower as merely doing, or not doing, something despite our internal emotional opposition.We explore how creating supportive environments and pausing enables wandering minds to make better choices and engage in meaningful activities.We discuss:What defines willpowerWillpower versus the wave of emotionsThe power of holding tensionSupporting our needs with pausesWe conclude with a piano improvisation piece called 'On a Dare'.For more, subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.comTranscriptWillpower. What a troublesome word. Those with ADHD in particular supposedly don't have enough. Fight more, do more, do the thing you don't want to do. But what is this willpower thing anyway?What Defines Willpower?Have you ever had a cut and then knew, while it was healing, that it was important not to pick at it. But there was some part of you that just felt like, "Hmm, I just gotta scratch it,"And when you hold back, and you just keep holding back, is that willpower?Maybe we can define willpower as the ability to deliberately do, or not do something, despite an unaccommodating, if not deeply opposed, emotional world that surrounds it.But is that really the focus? To do things we don't want or not do things we do want?Willpower Versus the Wave of EmotionsThe emotional world, is a swirling world.At times chaotic, at times peaceful, sometimes vengeful. Throwing one wave after another at us.Is it a lack of willpower to fail to stand against some typhoon of emotion? I think there's something here, some tension.When going with the flow, we follow some line of least resistance, a summed vector of internal fields of boat floating wherever the sea of emotion takes us in this moment.But we know that it's important to occasionally hold back.The Power of Holding TensionWhen we're having a bad day and someone asks us for one more thing, we hold a certain tension to not respond.When meditating and trying to hold onto awareness itself. We hold a tension.When we try to understand, build, create, maybe hold two ideas in mind simultaneously. Once again, there's this tension that we're holding onto.But holding that tension seems about as possible as chronically holding a 50 pound weight in the air. At some point we lose it. Consciousness being the way it is.We don't even recognize that we've lost it. I dunno about you, but, even though I've meditated for many years, there's still plenty of times that I wonder, wait, where did I go?Beyond the Path of Least ResistancePushing ourselves through a difficult task can be similar. Somehow we lose track, exhausted. There's something that happens when we can hold tension.We discover, if not create, options. We have this option to place ourselves on alternate paths. We realize that there's more than just the path of least resistance.And as such, we can create more accommodating situations, make better choices. We can even create supports for ourselves.When practicing on the piano and only going with the flow, I engage in some empty form of play. Playing the same piece I know all too well, doing the same licks over and over.But in that pause I see other paths. This I know, this I don't. Here's a book that I can look at. Here's an idea and an area to study. How would I even do that? Options we did not have before begin to form.And from here, we can seek the windows of challenge within the difficult. We can simplify things, shrink them down, slow them down. Whether in piano or in therapy, or in hobby or work, whether habit or craft.To resolve, if not dissolve, the difficult into the newly easy. Mind can discover paths of tension to now release.Support Through PausingIn other words, what we seek is not necessarily more willpower, some finite resource if there ever was one. Instead, we look to practice using our limited reserves to pause.To pause for leaving that itch unscratched, to decide what we can to support ourselves — we place ourselves in situations showing up to a visit.We create our environments to support us, reducing our distractions so that we can find ways we can support ourselves, so we don't need to hold ourselves back so much. And that way we can engage with our nature of curiosity, if not grace.The following piece is called, “On a Dare.” It's an improvisation. It'll never be played again. I hope you enjoy it.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

This week we explore how to “find your voice,” when it feels as though everything has been done before. How do you create something to put you on par with masters like Michael Jordan, Miles Davis, and Van Gogh, who are instantly recognizable?Finding one’s voice isn’t mysterious alchemy but a complex process of tapping into one’s unique, often blurry stream of thoughts.Using Richard Feynman as an example of distinctive thinking, Dr. Kourosh Dini describes a practical method through music: improvising, then pausing to review recordings, identifying structures and connections, and consciously internalizing what has emerged unconsciously.This deliberate cycle of play, study, and reflection builds a tangible conduit to deeper self and clearer communication.We close the episode with an evolving piano piece, “Alight,” in F minor, 3/4 time.TranscriptHow do I create something new, something unique? How do I not sound like everyone else? Whether writing a piece of music, searching for a unique perspective at work, or even trying to write an interesting newsletter, it can be easy to fall into a sense that it's all been done before.The common advice is to use your own unique perspective. In other words, find your voice. Great, but how?Voices of the Masters at Their CraftsFinding our voice is never simple. But we see it in the masters of any field. Watch a video of Michael Jordan playing basketball. You'll see no one plays like him.You'll listen to Miles Davis and you know it's Miles Davis. You see a painting by Van Gogh, and you know it's Van Gogh.Even when we copy them, emulate them, well it all came from that original voice.You might think it's a matter of art, some secret alchemy bestowed on the blessed few that lets somebody create from some hidden spirit within. Well, if so, how do we tap into that world?That voice, whatever it is within us, can be rather complex, and there are likely many paths to fostering and caring for that voice.Richard Feynman's thoughts on thoughtsRichard Feynman, this brilliant quantum physicist who beyond his understanding of subatomic particles, had a wonderfully quirky approach to life and learning. He would often share how he thought.I hear how he thinks and I hear a reflection of my own thoughts, my own deepest thoughts, not because I know much of anything about quantum physics, but because of the blur of ideas that can come to mind.The process of organizing that and the like, and it's not at all simple, but the unique nature of thought, tapping into that, I believe this is where we find our voice.Here is the link to Richard Feynman's "Fun to Imagine" talk.ADHD and the Cauldron of ThoughtADHD, wandering minds, I believe we often share this sense of blurring rapid fire thought. This cauldron of the unconscious is what we often look at, whether we're saying we have a superpower or we're drowning in scatter.I do believe there is a process in which we can organize in self-reflection, a sort of flywheel of building our voice.I think it connects with this idea of voice itself, like, you know, what is that anyway though. I think it relates, if not, is, a sense of deep self. A sense of nature within embodied in the spirit of play and care among other emotions.And connecting that self with the world that surrounds us as the practice of expressing that voice, whether the individual, the corporation, or any spirit, we can extrapolate this to any aspect of nature.Trouble in Communicating with Others, an example in MusicThen there's this struggle in communicating with others. We need to not only understand our own jumble of thought, but the words that others use and the beliefs that others hold for us to have any chance at being understood, if not being understandable at all.Well, maybe I can bring this somewhere concrete. Lemme give you an example in music. Sometimes I'll sit at the keys and create something, some improvisation, some structure, who knows?It is a common cliche that artists channel something from somewhere they don't understand.It's quite often a musician will create something and wonder, whoa, where did that come from? And wonder whether they could ever do it again. As unique as it makes the person, it creates this shared experience amongst us all.Rarely after I've created something, can I reproduce it again as it was, at least not at first. I readily forget what I just made, if not how I made it.My first response is to seek that feeling again, that feeling of creation because it's so much fun. And it can be useful certainly, but I've never found it to be a reliable path for reproduction.Feelings rarely if ever bow to my conscious whim, and if they do, can only be for some short period of time, and even then demand some form of payment, whiplash of exhaustion, anger, or some opposite somewhere.In the world of music, I generally just create a headache between the notes if I try to push myself in some direction. But if I rest my mind on what I created, maybe listening to the recording, feel out the structures, oh, this contrasts with that, oh, here there's a note that aligns with that.This flows here and there. All these connections with what I already hold to be true within me. I grow this repository, this ball of understanding within. I often wonder at it, and my goodness, I wouldn't have consciously created such an intricate set of connections. And I wouldn't have.But in that study of whatever it is that I had created from some unconscious realm, maybe spent in exhaustion, arrest my hands on the keys, and suddenly there's this new bursting forth, new ideas where I can create not only with whatever I had just made and learned again.But now with variations and complexities and new structures. With the understanding of the internal I am building on my voice.It seems strange to need to internalize what already seems internal, but this practice, whatever the method of reviewing what we've just done to create from there gives us a more tangible, visceral connection to whatever the materials are.If I study and find somewhere within that I can play and I can move forward.But if I can find what that play means to me, where that connects within what I understand in a way that means something to me in depth, I'm creating a conduit to my voice. I am building my voice even further.No Longer a Passive ReceptacleWe're no longer this passive receptacle. We're no longer connecting by rote. We're now taking the information and building from a deeper sense of self, one that's more accessible to our emotions of play and care.It's a practice, not something given. It's not something that one either has or doesn't have.Again, similar to playing an instrument of the piano, maybe as some of us start with a talent, but no matter where we begin, we still need to regularly connect with that field learning, engaging, being with internalizing.And this is where beyond showing up to practice, we find a deliberate act. Sitting at the keys with the words, somewhere in the midst of work and play, might fall into this path of least resistance, seeking only the feeling. But in a pause, I can decide, ah, you know, I don't know where this came from, what that means.Deliberately if I rest my mind in that blurry soup of thought and understanding and see where things resolve from confusion into clarity, I'm developing my voice.When I remember to take my hands away from the keys, resting them in my lap for a moment, closing my eyes, maybe I picture the shapes and interactions of the sound, the rhythm, the harmony.In doing so, I can return to the keys with new ideas, new energy. What was once unconscious is now conscious. Where I can more deeply connect and guide the sounds reflecting whatever universal spirits there are without getting in their way. Another trope of artistry.Whatever I find will necessarily be attached to some unique voice because there's only one me, much as there's only one you.A Take AwaySo I guess if there's a takeaway here, is there some piece of play or work where you can pause, and for a moment, close your eyes and ask, what about this do I not understand? What can I reproduce from where I am? Can I rest my mind there and see what comes to mind? Can I find some ease within it? Some marker of mastery perhaps."Alight" - MusicThe following piece of music is called "Alight". I may have even played it for you before. It's one of those pieces that have clear parts, but somehow those parts keep shifting in relationship to each other every time I play it.And I like to explore those shifts, why is it that I do it two times there and three times there and, and, and not so much this time and more in that time, and who knows?But if that didn't happen, if those shifts and changes didn't happen every time I played it, then I think the piece would probably die. I wouldn't wanna play it anymore. It's in F minor three quarters time. I hope you enjoy it.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

This episode examines how our minds can often wander in the middle of conversations, while reading, or tackling a project. This can lead to embarrassment and concern of being perceived as uncaring.In reality, our minds are processing and making connections, participating in a bit of play.Instead of suppressing our wandering mind, what might happen if you explore some of the connections and bring it into conversations or creative work?Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

We do something a little different on this episode of The Rhythms of Focus. Join me for an informal piano practice session and get a glimpse of my own wandering mind as I reflect on the role of emotion in learning.We explore the constant tension between free play and structured learning and the need to make real-time choices while respecting limits and using questions as a container for confusion.I end with a developing piece called “Witch/Which Beauty.”TranscriptWelcome to another episode of The Rhythms of Focus. I thought today I would sit down at the keys and just kind of, um, have a practice session, kind of describe what goes on.The Practice of a PassionYou know, I think something that's not often talked about is, the sense of passion and mastery, when it comes to wandering minds, ADHD and the like.There's the so-called, interest-based mind — which I still have troubles with the idea of using that phrase, because brains all flow with emotion and there are many emotions.And, interest is an important one, certainly, but even there, Dr. William Dotson psychiatrist points out, what one client abbreviated to the Chin Up Emotions: challenge, interest, novelty, urgency, and then passion.And I'll leave aside for a moment that there are many other emotions as well that can be very driving, even for ADHD and wandering minds, and perhaps even especially so.But for the moment, I just wanted to get into this idea of passion, which I, to some degree, maybe even entirely, equate with mastery. Because mastery is a path, it's something we do over time, it's, it's not a line that we cross so much, although I think that idea can be put in there too. So the idea of mastery, it's in many ways simple, it's that we be with a thing every day. If you can do that, you know, here I have this practice I picked up from my piano teacher from years past who said, touch the keys every day. Which has since translated into this idea of a visit every day, being with something every day.And if you do that, there's a good chance you're on the path of mastery. And there's something incredibly organizing to that process.Anyway, I'll just play a piece here. I like minor keys.I often play in what are called a modal style of playing, where I stay within a scale. This piece that I'll play here is called "Speaking Spirits."A Balance of Play and StructureWhenever I sit down to practice, I have to balance there's part of me that wants to play and goof off and go wherever the heck I want to go. And this other part of me that says, well, if you just do that, nothing will get learned, nothing will happen, nothing will grow, there is no structure.And this is kind of a major issue, if you will, for wandering minds in general. This tug of war between the ideas of play and structure. We manage this with the ideas of agency that we are able to pause and make a decision and say, okay, what if I go in that direction?And then at that point we throw ourselves into play once again. But it becomes a real time issue, it's a constant thing.For example, if I am playing a piece and I'm enjoying it, there's this part of me that wants to keep enjoying it, just wants to keep going with it, keep going with that flow and finding where it goes and all that.But, if I let it go on too long, it grows bitter. You know, there's a, I think a philosophical, something about the respect of death in that. But there's also, this feeling of, I need to respect limits, right? It's, it's that there's something to learn in that.Anyway, I think I'm going off on a tangent now.Sitting with FrustrationLet me tell you what I've been studying lately. So I've been looking at this book, "The Jazz Piano Book" by Mark Levine. Bought this many years ago when I was in college. And when I had looked at it then, it didn't make much sense to me. There were these things that were written in there, these chords.I'm just flipping through it now if you hear the paper rustling, I was looking at the chords and I'm like, where are you coming up with this?I'm even looking at it on page two and it says that there's a G7 cord. And there's no G in the chord. Like what are you doing? The G7 flat 9 it starts in an F in the base, and then there's a B, and there's an E, A, G, sharp and a B, and he calls that a G7 flat 9.And maybe it is. But there's no G and that just bugs me. And that just in itself — I ran into a couple of incidents like that in this book and that was enough to stop me. That one stopped me many years ago, and only recently have I come back and started to play with it. So if I take that chord that I just mentioned, let me play this here.Right? That's supposedly somewhere in there, a G7 flat 9. Here's the 7 here's the major third, which makes it a major key. This E is a sixth, which he doesn't mention anywhere. And then there's this G sharp, which is the flat 9. And again, we've got this B at the top, which is a repeat of the B before, which is that major third.Now that resolves into a C— is it a dominant? Yeah, dominant C. But once again, here's a 9 in here in the right hand and a sixth and a third in the base, the major third of the E. So it goes and I'm like, how? How, why is that the cord? What are you talking about anyway? So once again, I got stumped.Using Questions to Contain ConfusionSo what do I do with that? I think the important thing is to be able to add questions to things and recognize the question as being the container.So I look at the thing and say, my question is essentially, huh? Just H-U-H question mark. Huh? Then I can resolve that a little further into, well, as I was talking about, I don't see these, in one case, I don't see the root note in the chord at all. And the other one, it's at the very top. Does that count and what are the sixths in there doing?So anyway, I make these questions. Whether you understand the music of it or not, it's regardless of whatever field you're in, you'll have your own unique questions to you. But the questions do, help contain the confusion.And so once I do that, I can start flipping through and going, okay, well maybe I'll just play these chords a little bit here and there, and then I'll get to something that might make more sense and I can come back to this.I can resolve into something about this and ah, you know, I get to the next little bit here and it starts talking about triads. Oh, okay. These make sense. The C major triad, here you go, starts with a major third and then a minor third on top of that.And you call that a C major triad. There's a major, that's a minor. We got the C minor triad, which reverses it. You got the minor in the bottom and the major top. Right. So you got just basically you move the middle note down a half step. There you go. Diminish, you move the top note down a half step, which means there's two minor triads in there.And then you got the augmented triad where you've got a major in the bottom again, and then another major on top. So it's all just a mix of different majors and minors and how they all play out.And you keep playing with these things and realize, oh yeah, I could do that, I could do that and then, oh my goodness, is this hard? The simple, supposedly simple, minor 2 7, 2 seventh, and then you go to a major, a dominant seven for the fifth. And go to the, root note or little, major seventh in that guy.It's a nice little combination you got there, you know. Sounds good.And then you just goof off. So it is like, okay, there's a part of me that just wants to start playing and then I start playing.What if I did a minor there?Would it still resolve well?Yeah. And what if I throw in other things? And then I don't know what I'm doing. Then I want to go back to something that has structure, something I can hold onto and say, yeah, I can make some sounds. And I kinda listen to myself. I say, you know, what am I interested in playing right now? And maybe something I've been doing recently.Here's one called "Witch/Which Beauty" that I kind of like.Anyway, that one still needs work. I'm playing around with it. You can tell that there's some structured kind of form in there — or at least I can tell.Anyway. Not sure if you guys are enjoying this sort of thing. Uh, I thought why not do an episode where I'm just kind of making some sounds and talking about it out loud.If you're enjoying this and would like to hear more of these, let me know and maybe I can make that happen. Alright, till next time.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

When does AI help—and when does it hinder our agency? In this thoughtful episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore the delicate balance between using powerful tools like AI and staying connected to our own creative process. Together, we reflect on ancient wisdom, modern technology, and the vital tension that fuels genuine discovery.Listeners will learn:• How the “tension of not knowing” nurtures creativity.• Why AI can both empower and erode agency.• A mindful way to stay engaged with our work’s unfolding.Featuring the original piano piece “If You Feed a Squirrel.”For more, subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com.#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #CreativeFocus #ADHDAdults #AIandCreativity #FlowState #IntentionalWork #RhythmsOfFocusTranscript I've got a problem. I don't know how this works. I don't know how to write this. I don't know the best order. I don't know where this new idea fits. Maybe I can get AI to do this. Wow. AI has become quite the thing, more than a flavor of the month it's found its way into so many of our apps and tools.Using a simple Google search now returns with an AI formulation of my query first.There are AI apps that are used to, break down tasks and help us get moving forward. There are AI things that help us think through how to build an entire book among other possibilities. But the more powerful a tool I find, the more caution it requires. So how much caution does AI require? The More Powerful the Tool, the More Caution it RequiresThere's a rather ridiculous statement. I remember hearing in medical school a sort of backhanded joke towards this pharmaceutical world. Something like this, "Hey, there's a new medication let's use it before it has some side effects."We often look around at our tools as these unmitigated positives, especially when they first start out.Some promise, some efficiency, sometimes some clear boost to something we desire opens the door and there's no going back.As humans, we use tools. The spoken word itself is a tool by which we ask and receive our wants and needs and nuance.Socrates' Warnings Against the Written WordEven the written word though can be of concern. I wanna quote a story of Socrates, but before I do, it's important, dear listener, for you to know that I found this reference using ai. The story goes that an ancient God called Theuth first discovered numbers and calculations, geometry and astronomy, as well as the games of checkers and dice, but above all else writing.And this God Theuth was excited about his inventions and came to the King of Egypt, Thamos, and he would describe the positives and negatives of these inventions. And one day he said, "oh, king, here's something that once learned will make the Egyptians wiser and will improve their memory. I've discovered a potion for memory and for wisdom."Thamos, however, replied, "Oh most expert Theuth, one man can give birth to the elements of an art, but only another can judge how they can benefit or harm those who will use them. And now, since you are the father of writing your affection for it has made you describe its effects as the opposite of what they really are."In fact, it will introduce forgetfulness into the soul of those who learn it. They will not practice using their memory because they'll put their trust in writing, which is external and depends on signs that belong to others, instead of trying to remember from the inside completely on their own."You've not discovered a potion for remembering, but for reminding. You provide your students with the appearance of wisdom, not with its reality. Your invention will enable them to hear many things without being properly taught, and they will imagine that they would've come to know much, while for the most part, they will know nothing."And they will be difficult to get along with since they will merely appear to be wise instead of really being so."Now, even as a writer myself, I absolutely love that paragraph. There are plenty of times where I thought, for example, that I was ready for an exam 'cause I went over the notes over and over again only to realize that it wasn't that I'd known the material, I hadn't remembered them from the inside. I could just recognize them.So here we are with ai and again, the more powerful the tool, the more caution it requires.A Discovery without AI I want to describe a recent experience I had.I'm inviting you into some of my thinking process lately about this concept I've been working on called The Eight Gears of Work. I go into some detail about it in episode 33, and in short, these eight gears are as follows. There's "Be", how we are without any intention, I should say.There's consider where we reflect on it. There's our approach where we start dealing with the emotions involved. There's a visit where we are with the work, whatever we do, whether we do anything or not, there's our beginning where we start to iterate. There's complete, which is where we dedicate ourselves to completing the task or project.There's schedule where we line ourselves up in some synchronization with other people or other times. And lastly, there's perform, where we do things with real live stakes.And in any case, I was thinking of it as a way to represent, how to manage our sense of, I don't wanna, in the midst of it all,So what's the spectrum here? What is the line from one end to the other? And my first response was effort.But then I quickly realized that that was wrong, but I didn't know what was right. Is it engagement? Is it agency? Is it that extension into the world? How does it relate to those? I don't want a feelings. Why is it that the further you go, the stronger those feelings can become?I had a strong temptation to take the currently 200 plus slide keynote presentation, all my process thoughts on the matter, and then maybe, uh, however many thoughts I have in my my Devon Think app where I have a ton of text files and just throw 'em into my AI app.And say, here, please make sense of this, but what was that impulse?The Vital Tension of Not KnowingThere's this tension that comes from not knowing. Creativity is about discovering something in the act of creating it. When we don't know something, we hold on to that not knowing. Maybe we write our questions, maybe we write what we wanna explore, but that feeling, that tension that lives within us when we get an answer to something from elsewhere, we risk bypassing that important path of growth through ourselves, where that release of tension that would come from discovery would create an effect within ourselves.In the regular visits to the project. I kept coming to the words extension and engagement, and I suddenly realized this focus on agency, this skill and ability to decide and engage non-reactively, not on doing, for example.So in this reflection, I came to this realization, oh, I've modeled this perspective of agency. Now, I don't know how entertaining this is to you, but for me it was important because now I have a way to describe and help people with those "i don't wanna" feelings in an even better way. I have a more solid foundation within myself that I could then translate.If I had asked AI to solve my problem, maybe it would've come up with something like this maybe. But I doubt it, more importantly, it was crucial that I did not rely on it to prematurely resolve that sense of tension within me.Tension and AgencyThat tension without irony is exactly what agency is about. Our ability to sit non reactively with our emotions, with our sensations, where ideally, that they can no longer be driver, but instead messenger, had I allowed that tension to be a driver, I would've jumped right into the AI to give me the answer, Hey, tell me what, what, where I need to go.And so AI is certainly powerful. But I wonder how much of our recent concerns that are bandied about on the internet relate to this idea? Could AI be something by which we abandon our sense of agency? Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Ever found your whole day thrown off by “a thing at five”? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore the quiet storm that happens when time anxiety, fear of distraction, and perfectionism collide. Together, we reflect on why even the simplest tasks can feel impossible when something looms on the calendar—and how we can practice agency and gentler rhythms to bring flow back into our days.Listeners will uncover how our relationship to endings influences our ability to begin, and how mindful transitions can help us rebuild trust in our focus. We unpack four subtle fears—the fear of the groove, of distraction, of the unfinished, and of courage—and discover how embracing closure can unlock momentum.Link to ADHDinos - a delightful comic on ADHD: https://www.instagram.com/adhdinos/?hl=enTakeaways: • Recognize how fear of endings quietly blocks beginnings. • Learn mindful strategies to release time vigilance and ease into focus. • Rebuild self-trust through small, intentional completions.This episode also features an original piano improvisation, “From Fall,” a contemplative piece in a minor key that mirrors the mood of transition and soft courage.For more, subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com.#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulFocus #TimeAnxiety #ADHDProductivity #NeurodivergentLiving #SelfTrust #FlowState #FocusRhythms #EmotionalRegulationTranscriptThere's a wonderful ADHD based comic called ADHDinos Two Dinosaurs talk to each other, and in this particular comic, one of 'em says to the other, Hey, what's wrong? You seem stressed. The other says, well, I've got a thing at five. Well, that's six hours from now. You still have the whole day ahead. I'm confident you can accomplish a lot in that time.The other one lying on the floor. says my day has absolutely ruinedDealing with "A thing at 5"What do we do when we have a thing at five?We could seemingly do any number of things before five, consciously, rationally, we might even be able to calculate. Such and such would take an hour and that would take half an hour and this errand and that report and the dishes and whatever, and yet we're paralyzed.Why can't we seem to get much of anything done at all until that time? I think an important clue comes from the paralysis itself. Because paralysis stems from fear. And in fact there are likely several fears. So I'd like to go through about four of them here and see where we get.Fear of the GrooveThe first fear is the groove.What if I get into a groove? Seemingly getting into a groove would be a wonderful thing. We get into the work, diving in and maybe even enjoying a sense of developing meaning somewhere within and through our lives.But there's that hyper focus. There may well have been times in our life where we got into a thing and just couldn't seem to get ourselves out.Maybe we're thinking, Ugh, I can't let go now. I've been procrastinating on it forever. I'm in it now, and I never know if I'll ever be able to come back. And so what if I do a little more now? Oh, I can still make it to that next thing. Maybe I'll be a few minutes late. That's okay. Oh, no, I'm missing it. Oh, no. I'm ashamed that I'm terribly late. I may as well not go at this point.Yeah, I think a number of us have probably been through that one. The fear of not being able to stop is a real one. There have been times where we've not been able to stop.We might even fear that we would entirely lose sight of the thing at five. Our sense of time has likely not been our ally, and so we do not trust ourselves for good reason.Maybe we've tried alerts and we blow those off. Maybe someone calls and we ignore the phone. Without the sense that we might be able to break away, we feel doomed and the day is ruined.Fear of DistractionsThe second fear is that of distraction, mental turbulence, interference to working memory. We may well have a history of getting distracted in whatever it is we're doing, environment or anxiety or some other strong emotion, thinking about plans, daydreaming, incomplete projects and decisions floating into mind, stumbling into doing two or even three things at once, losing a sense of connection between this and that, flooding ourselves with confusion.As we then seek relief in some emotion that might bring some cohesion to our mind state, whether it's playful, whether it's urgency, we're just looking for the relief of one thing.All of it can have us lose sight of that thing at five. And so together with a lack of trust in ourselves that we wouldn't be distracted from any signal to remind us of the thing at five, we stay vigilant.So to compensate, we keep our eye on the clock, hoping we don't look away at the wrong time. But as a result of this, we can't invest ourselves in the thing that we'd like to get into before five.Vigilance is exhausting, paralyzing us with this understandable fear.Fear of the UnfinishedThe third fear is what might be called the unfinished symphony. What if I can't get back into the groove? Let's say we do start a thing before five and we're able to stop, but what if we've got this history of leaving projects incomplete? The worry is that we would now risk placing yet another thing in the pile of incomplete projects shaming us from the corner.When we're working, we often don't know how something might appear in the end, how we might get there, and often both. And as a result, we cannot guess the time it would take. And unfortunately with the lack of trust in ourselves that we could end something on time or pick it back up if left incomplete, we're left with the impossible goal of trying to figure out if the thing can be done in the time we have available.As soon as there's a thing at five, our time has become limited and our work is shot.Fear of CourageAnd I add one more fear, which may or may not relate, but somehow it seems to fit in my own head.What if the thing we want to get into before five requires some courage?Dealing with a sense of maybe we're not intelligent enough to do a thing. Maybe the depth of field of it is too vast for us to comprehend. Maybe we're too old to start now, too young to start now. We'd never be able to get good enough among any other possibility.Similar to our lack of confidence to estimate time here, we lack a confidence in our own abilities, which then would translate to, I'm not sure how long this would take. The work of mounting courage, acknowledging the risk, knowing we might fail, are not insubstantial, and while we're frozen in vigilance, the resources to mount that courage are not available.Fears of EndingsCommon to all of these fears are the endings. In other words, our difficulty in starting is often related to our fear of how we may or may not be able to handle the endings. If we can practice how we end things, we would then be in a better position to start them.If we feel we can set something aside that we can trust ourselves to return, or better yet make a clear decision as to where it does or does not fit in our lives, and then stay out of our way in the meantime, we can start.If we feel that we might be able to not only hear an alert, but it's well positioned to help us transition when it felt like we could smoothly do so, so that the work could then stay out of our way until it meaningfully be picked up again, that we could trust ourselves to be able to make those decisions and engage, we can start.More fundamentally, we'd feel that the thing at five is more or less safe because we can end.We practice mindfully bringing our mind to the momentum of work. It's not that we have bicycle strength brakes, it's that we are like a boat on water. We can practice our endings and as we do so, we improve our beginnings.I'll end with a quote from a book that I've cited in a recent episode. The, uh, Hagakure book of the Samurai. in the Kamagata area, they have a sort of tiered lunchbox they use for a single day. When flower viewing upon returning. They throw them away, trampling them underfoot.The end is important in all things.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

When every choice feels like too much—what to do, where to go, even what to eat—indecision can quietly drain our focus and energy. In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we reflect on the psychology and mindfulness of decision-making for adults with ADHD and wandering minds. Together, we explore how to turn hesitation into awareness and uncertainty into creative flow.Listeners will discover practical ways to approach decisions with clarity and gentleness, learning how to work with their ADHD rhythms instead of against them. This is not about forcing productivity—it’s about developing mindful structure, emotional insight, and trust in our intuitive process.In this episode, we explore:• How emotions guide decision-making and shape focus for ADHD minds.• A mindfulness-based technique to ease decision fatigue and anxiety.• How to transform choices into creative, intentional acts of agency.The episode closes with an original piano composition, Icicle Drips, to help listeners ground in reflection and calm.For more, subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com.#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulFocus #ADHDMindfulness #DecisionFatigue #NeurodivergentCreativity #CreativeFocus #IntentionalLiving #ADHDWellness #MindfulProductivityTranscriptShould I or shouldn't I? What should I have for dinner? What if I did this or maybe I should do that. But if I do this, then what if it goes wrong? Well, if I don't decide, well, that's a decision too, isn't it?Decisions do weigh heavy, don't they? What gives?Matters of Great and Little ConcernThere's a quote I like that I got from, watching this movie called Ghost Dog. It's a Jim Jarmusch film, main character, quotes from the book Hagakure, the Book of the Samurai," Matters of great concern, should be treated lightly matters of small concern should be treated seriously."I dunno how well I follow that advice, but it is something curious.The Weight of DecisionsDecisions are in no way simple. Even the seemingly small ones, like deciding what to order at a restaurant, making small purchase, these can weigh us down into paralysis. Meanwhile, large ones like considering a change of professions, a move and more, these can plague us. They occupy the crevices of our every day, miring us in this anxieties, fears, regrets, and more.Sometimes we don't even realize we had a decision we could make until some regret form somewhere later, too little, too late. Or we leave them undecided as they create and sustain multiple waves and storms within us, worsening that scatter of a wandering mind.So decisions can certainly weigh heavy. When we decide, we cut, the word having the same Latin root as homicide, for example.We go this way and not any of the others. The universe of possibilities collapse into one.In fact, one piece of advice for decision leverages this, where we use a coin flip, not because we follow where it lands so much as we realize what's important to us. Something that we don't see or feel in our emotional landscapes until that coin is in the air. And this gives us a clue.Risk and Loss - Decisions and ConsciousnessEvery decision involves risk or loss. If it didn't, there wouldn't be a decision. We'd simply act. Consciousness itself may only exist for the reason of decision if we are to adopt a neuropsych analytic point of view. That even echoes William James from 1890 who had said "consciousness seems to arise only in response to a problem."It's like the brain doesn't call attention to itself until some system of pattern matching is off.We have tension, frustration, excitement, play care. Emotion- all of these cresting into thought as they brush into consciousness.Decisions rest on the sea of sensation, intention and emotion. Emotions connect into and through the deepest recesses of our mind and beyond emanating from meaning that we can only partially understand.We sail these seas from a singular point flowing on and within this moment of now, and we think we decide which emotion, which wave of focus will I sail.Agency. This ability and skill to decide and engage non-reactivity begins when we pause, examining these emotions as they are. We can maybe sense the meanings behind them.What are the associations? What comes to mind?Decisions as Creative ActsWhat we might sense then is that decisions themselves could even be a creative act. As these ideas do come to mind, we can place one with another. Set this option with that until no new information comes to mind there.And if decisions can be a creative act, well, what if we supported them in the ways we would support a creative act?For example, what if we were to hold that intention to decide to capture it in the power of a task? But not just any task, a regularly repeating considered task.For example, let's say we're ruminating on the decision to move, the ideas keep coming to mind, weighing us down. They do so because the decision's never completed and it has no boundaries. It doesn't have a place. So it is given free reign to spill over into every thought. By writing a regularly repeating task that says something like, "consider moving." We can give that decision a place, a time within our day for us to reflect, to be creative with it.We can give it our full attention, at least for a few moments, and sometimes that makes all the difference. If that task can appear somewhere we trust we can see it, if we can take that moment that maybe a deep breath worth of time, we can allow the thoughts and more importantly, the emotions, the reflections to come to mind.Ideally, we would give these thoughts space to form and settle.At that point. We've fully acknowledged the decision and the options that are there. We might feel the risk, we might feel the anxiety, but they're not changing.With this structure, we have a place for a decision to rest, to build with that caring, creative spirit, rather than only be fueled by anxiety and the fear of regret.It's there that we can feel the risk of one option or another. Mount the courage and then cut.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

This episode explores the complex nature of care and how especially those with ADHD can be caught in a vicious cycle of others feeling as though we don't care at all, or caring too much, to the point of being unable to take any steps to move forward.We address common feelings of being overwhelmed and questioning self-worth. The confusion that sometimes comes mistaking care with worry and highlighting the burdens that can bring.We delve into how care, when practiced skillfully, can help individuals better support themselves and others.The episode concludes with a relatable Reddit comment on simplifying life's purpose to care and an original musical piece titled 'Aging.'For more, subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com.#ADHD #WanderingMinds #focusstrategies #neurodivergent #findingfocus #RhythmsofFocus #ADHDPodcastTranscript:I'm being pulled, every which way. I need to do the dishes, I need to do the laundry, I have to write the report - maybe I just need to rest.If I tell others I can't do this right now, they might tell me I don't care enough.Well, do I not care enough? How do I know if I'm being selfish?The Push/Pull of CaringIn our younger days, we may have turned in so-called sloppy work. Often some comment of not caring enough is applied somewhere along the way.Said enough times, we might wonder about this of ourselves. Maybe it's true.Wandering minds already have enough to struggle with. To stay on track we can create any number of guides, lists, markers, all these sorts of things that help us move forward.But in the meantime, even with these in helping us, we often have to pull ourselves back from one thing after another.We move into one thing, we get distracted. We dive deep into another, we might have to fight to pull ourselves out.It can be terribly exhausting, and yet there are still things to do.Wallowing in the Overwhelm of CaringDo we not have enough willpower? Or is it that we don't care enough?Even when we say, "I don't care," the fact that something entered our mind, even to negate it, means that something about it has our attention.In this way, caring is hardly some binary thing.What is care?What is it though? What is care?In one sense, well, it's an emotion. We can even point at it neuroanatomically: pathways and transmitters, dendritic connections and the like.We can also see it as an emotion in the sense of that which brushes into consciousness. Whether gently in barely perceptible waves or in crushing impossible storms.What I think is often missed in discussions about care is that it's more than an emotion. Beyond that, it is this spirit and practice.Harnessing the Power of CareCare flows through, and with, emotion. Emanating from meaning in the stories of our lives into that of perception, thought, action — at the very least.Often, care can be this wonderful spirit around which we can organize ourselves; doing the things that we feel to be helpful to those around us.Care involves a depth of attention on something.It's the spirit that nourishes, that creates the bed of intuition, that tempers and guides strength, the force of mystery of a force at all.We care in considering, when we rest our minds in some experience, our interests, our intentions attuning to what is.Ideally, we may even take our time. Find patience to reach some gentle acknowledgement where our decisions are deliberate. We can heighten that powerful measure of being. Agency itself.When we care for others, when we care for ourselves, when we care for the emotions of play and curiosity and discovery within ourselves.We can often fly on this feeling of mastery, meaningful work, and meaningful relationships.The Invisible Weight of CaringBut there can be a burden to caring. As a spirit, it's eons old, an entity carried within and through us from the inception of whenever life began to care for life.Care is its own life, running deep within us. And as a spirit, it has its own needs. It draws resources from us. It takes our time, our attention, the materials of ourselves. And resources are limited. Caught within us.Care can be pressed and pulled in many competing directions. Loved ones, ourselves, multiple others.Because of limits, we must make decisions and sometimes they are terribly difficult, sometimes at our sacrifice, sometimes at others, and often at both.In losing sight of limits, we often then wonder whether we care enough, that we don't care for everything then, and somehow because of that we are terrible.It's not the care itself that is limited, so much as it is the resources.In losing sight of these limits we then might wonder, do we care enough? And if we don't, that somehow we're terrible.Often, this leads into a feeling of burden. We may even resent the feeling of care itself, sensing that burden. That sense itself, in turn, can feel selfish — touching off feelings of guilt and shame and more as care's complexity grows.Care Confused with WorrySometimes care is confused with worry. Worry, anxiety, these signals that something might be wrong, something's amiss. Maybe something might happen in the future. There's some risk for loss.We might then feel that in order to care, we have to exacerbate that feeling, indulge it, stir it, stoke it, fan the flames.But this too becomes a path where we might exhaust ourselves into a sense of worry that we are uncaring, not just exhausted.Often, then that leads to some method of abusing ourselves, shaming ourselves, yelling at ourselves, accusing ourselves of being uncaring.Maybe that would help us care more, that would help us get the things done.If we continue to use worry as our measure of care, we might try to bring risk to zero. Essentially attempting to rid ourselves of anxiety as the measure.But worry cannot be brought to zero. We not only exhaust ourselves, but risk crushing others. We smother.Other Confusions of CareCare may even be fused or confused with righteousness. This attempt to be good or moral then perverted into cruelty.Of course worry can relate to care. It's a message of something that might be injured or lost. To the degree we can, perhaps an ideal, we can acknowledge that message and say, "Thank you, I'll take it from here."Even here, we must be able to accept risk, limits, and mortality itself as an inevitability in order to care well.Even more maliciously, care can be hijacked by others who intend to manipulate. A weaponizing of vulnerability, an indulgence of victimhood to pull at the heartstrings.Whether done consciously or unconsciously, we may end up sacrificing ourselves, perhaps inadvertently. Losing the path's care we could have otherwise offered to others.In this way, care is not simply some unmitigated good. Care needs its own care.And of course, as we care for ourselves, we can care better for others. Doing so, beyond spirit then, beyond emotion, care is a skill. And as a skill it can be practiced.Sometimes it's simple. Putting on your mask before putting someone else's on, is very much this practice.Nurturing Our Care PracticeCare, also as the mother of consideration, of acknowledgement, as the holder of agency, can be practiced.When we anchor ourselves considering the options of the moment. When we pause at the edge of action. When we pause to consider how to guide our momentum of the moment.When we recognize the limits of our working memory. When we know and stand up for the limitations we've discovered. When we pay attention to our frustration and sense.When we pay attention to our frustration and use it to help find the ease within it. To discover a way forward.When we clear and support paths for the development of things we find meaningful. When we recognize the limits of our lives, our days, and feel the pain in those limits without indulging them, without ignoring them.We practice care.I'd like to close with a comment that I'd read on Reddit. It goes like this, "When I was younger, I had many dreams and complex purposes like getting rich, become a famous doctor, and things like that. By living life and having experiences, good ones and bad ones, job and relationships and life overall, I learned that a simple purpose made me happier than ever.And that purpose is to care. Care for my family. Care for those in need, care for my dogs. Now I just care and that's my purpose 'til the day I die. "Aging" in C minorThe following piece is written in C minor. It's titled Aging. The name comes from the idea that its initial seed, the first aspects of what I used to create the piece itself, comes from one of, if not the earliest kept phrases that I wrote.Now since then, the phrase has changed. I can't stop change. In fact, if the piece does stop changing, it tends to die. I lose interest and never play it again.But I do have a say in guiding it. In fact, isn't that a sign of care itself? I hope you enjoy the piece.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Miles Davis says, there is no such thing as a mistake. How can we understand the truth within this seemingly odd idea?We’ll explore how to gently reframe errors as part of our creative rhythm, not as failures that derail us. We'll consider how to distinguish between - an error (a deviation from our path), - a mistake (an unacknowledged error), and - a lesson (an acknowledged opportunity to learn). This episode features an original piano composition called *Enter* For more, subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com.Hashtags #ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #CreativeFlow #AgencyOverPerfection #ErrorAsLesson #RhythmsOfFocus #FocusWithoutForce #NeurodivergentCreativity #MistakesAreDataTranscript A jazz musician. Miles Davis once said, "don't fear mistakes. There are none." Now I might wonder if that would go for the pilot flying my plane, there's still a powerful depth of truth and beauty in the statement.Today's episode, I'll be reading a passage from my book, workflow Mastery about Error, mistake, and Lesson.And I hope you enjoy it.   I make mistakes. I'm convinced that no one can avoid making mistakes despite the authority with which miles may make his claim.But there's a beauty and truth within that phrase. Do not fear mistakes. There are none.While I do not know for certain if "no mistakes" is applicable to every craft beyond art, its presence as a path in art is undeniable.The lesson as I understand it, is of learning and adapting to what is originally perceived as error so that it becomes a path towards mastery, even in the moments of improvisation.I imagine that at least some of this concept bears truth in all endeavors. We can distinguish the ideas, the concepts between error, mistake and lesson.An error is a perceived deviation from a path towards a vision.Deviations are influenced by whatever reality throws at us. Reality may include any object, including those external to ourselves or even meaning itself. If, for instance, we assume a meaning of something to be different than what it does mean, maybe by way of not seeing it's unconscious elements, then it's an error. On the other hand, we may discover some incompatibility between vision and reality. In setting the alarm clock for 6:00 AM to begin a 7:00 AM workday, we may have neglected to take into account the preparations for the morning and the commute amounting to 75 minutes of time.A mistake is an unacknowledged error.A lesson is an acknowledged opportunity to learn, such as an acknowledged error.So in this way, acknowledgement is precisely the difference between mistake and lesson. The degree to which an error is acknowledged in a depth of its details is the degree to which the lesson it provides may become useful.We may then decide for or against developing that lesson as an intention for learning.Acknowledgement allows an error to become a lesson. It brings an object's consideration to our sense of agency. We can then create the playgrounds, workspaces, habits, systems, and other means of organizing to effectively develop any intention based on this error, and we turn it into a lesson.In the case of the alarm, we may ignore it or chastise ourselves for being lazy or incapable of predicting time. We may instead decide it's meaningful to sleep and therefore make arrangements for an earlier time for bed. On the other hand, we may realize a much greater meaning found in a sense of irritation with the work itself, and that we've just unconsciously acted out against it.It becomes clear that errors may be viewed as not necessarily objects themselves so much as their misalignments between vision and reality.The degree to which we can acknowledge the discrepancies between vision and reality is the degree to which we can see the depth of meaning behind our errors, the fault lines, and consequently turn them into useful lessons, as daunting as that may be.A troublesome societal comment is that we only fail when we stop trying. Well, this may ring true in some sense. It does not take meaning into account. The energy of our lives measured in motivation and time is limited. Deciding that we've made an error in placing our efforts poorly and then consciously and carefully recalibrating is not failure.It's learning. We fail if we stop trying to find and develop a meaningful flow as a union of play and work in our lives, not in completing some specific task or project.If though, we find we must repeatedly drop or change varying projects. Such a process can be very disheartening. Wading through the confusion of repeated incomplete visions threatens to drown us in a lack of confidence.Any potential lessons offered by error can be mired in these feelings of futility.A compass of meaning, however, can provide continuous direction. We can break down the obstacle before us into smaller and smaller components until finally that smallest aspect of the obstacle may be overcome.We can do it again and again. Learning from our errors and presumptions, organizing, reorganizing, gaining courage, confidence to continue moving forward.All the while we can acknowledge that the onslaught of unrewarded attempts may very well continue. If we realize the path before us is mistaken, or its meaning has been lost, we can rest in a pause to reflect upon meaning.The compass may yet change what we thought was important, may only have been a facet of something deeper. We might decide to continue forward despite the hostility of conditions before us.Sometimes we do require luck.Creative works may require a degree of being in the right place at the right time, and many artists whose works are not accepted when an audience is unable to hear or see the meaning of the work, whether because of the lack of development or because the myriad conditions for its communication were just not right. So much of the groundwork to develop our art is communication is below the radar of community. Years and years may be spent in isolation before we've mature and craft something suitably. Find a receptive audience, cultivate a good path for the communication of that work, and there's no guarantee that it ever will be found.Yet. Continued persistence is required for meaningful work to have a chance at finding a community. For this reason, among others, I define success as the process of bringing play into work such that the world feeds back and sustains that person in play.Failure is when we stop the continued attempts of finding and fostering the conditions for play that ultimately develops a sense of meaning.The mistake is not adapting or learning. Mistakes are a matter of perspective. If they're viewed as ends, then there are failures.If we are without error, it is only because we haven't tried.Every attempt to connect with the world requires adjustment. Each attempt to reach out in intention or question is a fumbling of sorts.It's not that we do not perceive error so much as it is the grace with which we fumble, by which there are no mistakes. The elegance, integrity, honesty, and attempt to learn from our inevitable misalignments between vision and reality, give us our continued path toward mastery. Today's piece of music I won't say too much on. I think it's a pretty piece. It's called Enter. I performed it live in October of 2025. I hope you enjoy.   Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Caught between “I can’t start” and runaway hyperfocus, many of us feel like passengers in our own minds rather than pilots of our days. In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore how wandering minds and ADHD can move from stuckness and self-blame toward genuine agency, ease, and purposeful action.We reflect on why “I don’t wanna” feelings are not failures of willpower but signals from our emotional world, and how redefining motivation can help us align emotion and intention without shame or force. We also walk through the Eight Gears of Focus, a gentle framework for moving from simple awareness into meaningful action, completion, and performance in a sustainable way.Listeners will learn:- How to see emotions as waves moving through awareness, rather than enemies to overpower. - How “force-based” productivity (shame, urgency, pressure) quietly erodes our sense of agency—and what to do instead. - How to use the Eight Gears of Focus to locate where flow is blocked and create kinder, more rhythmic next steps. This episode also features an original piano composition that mirrors the movement from hesitation into grounded focus, supporting a calmer nervous system as we listen. To stay with us on this journey of mindful productivity for wandering minds, subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for more resources and practice invitations.Hashtags #ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #EmotionalRegulation #Hyperfocus #Agency #Motivation #Neurodivergent #PianoMeditation #RhythmsOfFocusTranscriptStuck Between Inaction and HyperfocusI cannot act. If I act, I'm in hyperfocus and my emotions. Well, they're dysregulated, as they say. Why are there so many problems? Where's the commonality between these? What can I do? ADHD, Wandering Minds, and the Question of Action I continue to search for some commonality, some simplicity that would explain the wandering mind. With ADHD, the central character in the coterie of wandering minds, it's useful to hear out the experts.Dr. Russell Barkley says, "ADHD is not a disorder of knowing what to do, it's a disorder of doing what you know at the right times and places."Is It Willpower, Free Will, or Something Else?What is it to not be able to act? Is it a lack of free will? The alignment of emotion and action are disrupted at the moments that would otherwise be meaningful to us? Sometimes we point at motivation. There's something can be said about this, but often that idea of motivation, this messy word can raise the cackles on the back of our collective necks, conjures the idea of willpower.Redefining Motivation for the ADHD BrainBut these depend on our definitions. I define motivation as the degree to which our emotions align with our intentions. One trouble, however, are these pesky, "I don't want our feelings," powerful and complex as they can be, and they don't align. So how do we align our emotions and our intentions?Defining EmotionWell, first, let's consider what emotions even are.Certainly there are multiple approaches from the spiritual to the practical, to the molecular and beyond. Rather than say what's right, I'm simply going to define it here, and now.Emotions are that which flows into consciousness, whether by brush or by storm.Essentially, whatever comes to mind. Is the cresting of an emotion.Perception as Emotion and the Role of ResonanceNow, this is a very different definition than what you're likely used to. Words, ideas, actions all crest into and through consciousness from emotion. What that means is that perception is also an emotion. Something outside of us resonates with something inside of us. If there was nothing within us with which to resonate, it wouldn't register. It would not reach conscious awareness.But as emotion arrives, we cannot argue with them. We might find new perspectives, the so-called insight, but even these need to resonate deeply with the most fundamental emotion that of trust without which our reality itself crumbles. In order to affect an emotion, we can only do so through affecting the conditions in which it exists, internal and external.Where “I Don’t Wanna” Feelings Come FromThe "I don't wanna" feelings can stem from multiple sources. One perspective is the biological, which simply states it is. The physical structures, the chemistry, the like. All represent objects outside of our sense of agency, perhaps reached indirectly with chemicals, sex, and ice baths.A psychoanalytic approach is one in which we examine the ideas, sensations that come to mind, consider potential meaning. Meaning is this depth and breadth of connection, conscious, unconscious, and beyond comprising the storehouses, the capacitors, the antenna from which our emotional waves emanate. Story.We may not want to do something for any number of reasons, such as fear, worry, overwhelm, despair. There are also positive emotions that can throw us off, like excitement for something else, distraction, even playfulness. Any of these in turn might only come to mind Manifesting in ideas and words like,"I fear what this would say about me. If I were to begin it would mean that I'd have to finish it. And what if I can't finish it? And I've rarely have ever been able to finish things. And what if the thing just stinks anyway?"More fundamentally though, saying "I don't wanna," can be this foundational stage of our will trying to assert itself, our attempt to regain, if not create a sense of agency. It says, I'm alive. I exist because you want me to go this way and I wanna go that way.Check out episode nine for more on that.The Trap of Defining Yourself by OppositionBut being in this way of being has many troubles as the things still need doing. If we only operate out of opposition, we rely on the things we oppose. In this way, we're still being driven by the thing we oppose.If we define ourselves by not being the opposing side, we've allowed the opposing side to effectively define us, and then we can get angry at the thing that seems to force us the seemingly uncaring others, the deadlines that don't cooperate with each other as well as ourselves for having to work this way.How Shame, Urgency, and Force Undermine AgencySo we rely on the things we've learned to rely on those things we can trust to circumvent the, "I don't wanna" feelings, namely force. Force is the negative emotions like shame, urgency, and more perhaps is represented by the deadlines and other matters where stakes are involved.Something's at risk. It doesn't care if we don't wanna.And so the injuries to our sense of agency perpetuate. Not just biologically, but in the world of meaning, if not identity.But I'd rather not take the position that we're helpless against ourselves. If we can examine and engage these emotions as they are, learn how we might sail with them, tack against them, we can start directing ourselves in a more deliberate manner.Over time, we can even learn how to create the conditions for those emotions such as such that their waves are more and more in our favor.Revisiting the Eight Gears of FocusIn a recent podcast and webinar, I presented what I call the eight Gears of focus. This sort of stretch between one side and another of the types of focus and the flow that can happen throughout.Zero is being the awareness of what's in mind. One is approach. Aligning our intention with attention. Where we choose a feeling we follow, a tension that we try to form into ease. Two.Consideration -picturing something in our mind.Three is a visit where we're there with the work. Four is where we begin, we take action confronting the reality of ourselves within the work. Five is where we complete something, a task, a project. We bind ourselves to the external world and structures of things. Six, we schedule where we attempt to synchronize our internal sense of time, the waves as they exist within us with the clocks that we share with others.And seven, performance where we're examined, assessed in real time, whether on stage or maybe the console is on fire.Bringing Vitality Through Every GearBetween all of these, there's a flow from the zero to the seventh. We bring our sense of being, our vitality throughout. The more powerfully we do. So the more practiced we are, the more powerful the performance might be. The more vitality it has at any one of these stages, the more engaged we are.When I can perform at the piano for an audience, when I can fully be there with my sense of knowledge of therapy and understanding mind for my clients, I can resonate at depth with them. At the zeroth gear of being. We have a sense of meaning, a depth of self-conscious, unconscious, and beyond. At the other end, we're held in place by performance.Structure Can Trigger “I Don’t Wanna” FeelingsThese latter gears show increasing structure, but as a result, have increasing tendency to stir emotions such as the, I don't want to feelings. And using these eight gears, figuring out where we can support ourselves throughout. We can assess where and how our flow might be impeded. Whether you use the tools of the waves of focus, like anchoring, guides and visits, maybe something beyond it like meditation, therapy, or practice of schedules and clocks.We're attempting to find a way to connect with the world such that it supports us in turn a flow and flowing state of success. We start being able to act from our sense of self.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here:...

When we finally finish a project yet still feel behind, it is rarely about the checklist and almost always about our relationship with time, memory, and trust. In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore how wandering minds and ADHD can turn “done” into “never enough,” and how we can gently reshape that story using an Honor Guide rather than another rigid system. We discover how time blindness, working memory limits, and fragile self-trust quietly fuel our endless to-do lists, and how a visit-based approach can restore a calmer rhythm to our days. We also walk through the three core parts of the Honor Guide—the Engaged, the Horizon, and the Steady—so we can build a meeting ground between our past, present, and future selves. - We clarify why finishing a project does not settle our nervous system and how to respond with agency instead of pressure. - We learn how to design an Honor Guide that protects our attention while still honoring our desires and energy. - We practice shifting from force and deadlines to gentle, daily visits that create sustainable momentum. This episode also features an original piano composition, “Spoken Speaking Spirit,” as a kind of emotional journaling and time-travel through music. If this resonates, we invite you to subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com so we can keep cultivating these rhythms of focus together. ## Hashtags #ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #HonorGuide #TimeBlindness #WorkingMemory #CreativeFocus #NeurodivergentFriendly #PianoMusic #RhythmsOfFocus Transcript> Whew. Finally finished a project. I can't believe it. I finished a project. Time to celebrate. Wait, there's the, oh, I gotta do that one thing first. Well, what about, what about that other thing? Oh my goodness, there, there's zillions of things I still need to do. How does anyone do anything?### Big Rocks, Hyper-Scheduling, and Endless To‑Do ListsOrganizing the day is not a simple matter. Some suggest setting up three "big rocks", these three large items that you wanna make sure you deal with today. Otherwise, all the little things take over, it can be a highly effective approach.Others suggest what's called hyper scheduling. It's a method of estimating a time for everything you need or want to do and scheduling every minute on your calendar. It's kind of similar to using a budget for money, but here with seconds, minutes, and hours.Others create long lists, infinitely long lists. They spend the day scanning that list, searching for something simultaneously easy, important within their energy levels and interest. And these things kind of pile up until the lists, toxicity levels break, and we start a new list.Well, any of these have their utility, but sometimes they also have their troubles. Even the simple three big rocks. In a recent episode of the rhythms of Focus, I described, uh, four limits to productivity, namely time, working, memory, agency, and trust.### Time Blindness, Working Memory, Agency, and TrustWandering minds in particular struggle with all of these. So-called Time Blindness, a constriction of working memory, an exhaustion of an injury to agency in which we say I don't wanna, and a lack of trust between the past, present, and future selves, such that sending messages between them is rife with strife.The waves of focus methodology includes a number of tools to help manage, and today, rather than go into so much of the, philosophical underpinnings of it. I just wanna describe what are the rudiments of what I call an honor guide.Introducing the Honor Guide – A Meeting Ground for Your SelvesThe honor guide is a meeting ground between the past, present, and future selves. It has a fairly simple structure, but building it over time is not so simple as it involves the development of trust with oneself.But, what is the overall structure? Well, three main parts. ### The Engaged List – Visits Instead of DeadlinesOne  is a set of things that we're working on. These are things that we're paying daily visits to. If you'd like to know what a visit is, consider listening to episode four. I like to keep this number of things that I'm visiting daily between one and three, and doing so respects my sense of time and agency. I call this list the engaged. It's probably the most parallel to that idea of three big rocks, but again, I like to look at these things as visits rather than milestones I have to achieve in a day.### The Horizon List – Protecting Working Memory and Reducing OverwhelmSecondly, there's a set of things that I'd like to get to.They're waiting for me to get through something in the engaged, maybe something I dispose of, move along, complete whatever it is it's waiting for, its turn to be engaged. I like to keep this number to about five or less. Doing so respects my working memory.I call this set the horizon,### The SteadyThirdly, as I work things into my days, things that maybe they're a project that's now only being maintained. Exercise, for example. I have a sense that I know how to go about it. I've already done the work of putting it into my daily routines.These are things that no longer have such a strong emotional valence anymore.And that's it.I have a way of setting these up in a template for me on paper and a way to do this in my task manager. The one I use is OmniFocus. So you can use any one really. ### Simple on Paper, Deep in Practice, Powerful Benefitsit seems simple and it is simple, but there is a practice to it.And if you do start to practice it, you might start noticing a few things. , It can be the central hub for attention, this way of thinking through the day. It also gives us a finish line for the day. It orchestrates our visits across time, allowing us a stronger sense of being able to take on larger projects, even complete them. And start creating the rhythms of our focus, figuring out which ones compliment us, where, start having a better sense of what we can and cannot take on. Now, being able to say no where we need to.We can develop things over time and even see that development. There's less of a need to push ourselves. We can even shift away from deadlines as the pressure that would move us forward and instead we look towards things we'd like to get to do. You create this meeting ground between past, present, and future selves where you can kind of create this trust over time.Anyway, I think it's a pretty dandy tool and, uh, pretty proud of having developed it. And you know, if you try it out, love to hear how it goes for you.  ### Music as Journaling and Time Travel - "Spoken Speaking Spirit" There are often tough times in life. I don't think anyone race, religion, money, whatever is spared of some degree of suffering somewhere in their lives. Now, one of those, let's call it extended moments in my own life, I'd written the following piece, originating some decades ago. But as with all of these pieces, they evolve in time.I remember the struggle, but the stories of our past can shift and shape over time. We can affect our perspectives, our perceptions of the past. I don't mean we have some direct conscious way of rewriting the past, but something does seem to happen whenever it is that we observe it.And music to me is, uh, something of a journalling, I suppose.The following piece is called Spoken Speaking Spirit, and I hope you enjoy it.   Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

When we sit down to read and realize we’ve “read the same paragraph four times,” it can feel like proof that we’re broken. In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore a kinder, more rhythmic way for wandering minds and adults with ADHD to meet the page and actually feel alive in the words.### What we exploreWe look at why reading can feel like climbing a mountain, especially when working memory, emotions, and confusion fog the “now” of our attention. We also unpack what “active reading” really means for wandering minds and how we can use confusion, sleepiness, and resistance as gentle signals instead of verdicts against us.Together, we: • Reframe mind wandering and re-reading as part of the brain’s natural “formatting” process, not personal failure. • Practice questions like “What does this have to do with that?” and “What do we know, think, and not know?” to restore agency on the page. • Explore simple, environment-based supports (like single-path attention and fewer “infinite gravity pools”) that make sustained reading more possible for ADHD minds.This episode also features an original solo piano composition, “Alight,” inviting us to feel how staying alive in the notes mirrors staying alive in the sentences. If this resonates, we invite you to subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to keep traveling these gentler paths of agency, mindfulness, and rhythm together.## Hashtags #ADHD #WanderingMinds #mindfulproductivity #readingwithADHD #workingmemory #activeReading #neurodivergent #focusstrategies #gentleproductivity #RhythmsofFocus## Transcript “I’ve Read This Paragraph Four Times” – When Reading Feels ImpossibleI think I've read the same paragraph four times without absorbing a thing. How the heck do people read?   📍 ​ Wandering Minds, Books, and the Mountain of Focus for some wandering minds, reading a book is about as difficult as climbing a mountain, mountaineers notwithstanding. Getting to the book at all is one hurdle, and staying with the book is yet another. We might blame that wandering mind, this sense I just can't focus, or maybe I'm not a visual learner well either, might be true.Interestingly, though, I've met quite a number of those with wandering minds who find reading delightful. This ready made path, easily followed without needing to hold back.The guardrails of the words and the passage lead them along this gripping story. Now, sometimes they might fall into other troubles like an attention tunnel hyperfocus. It's hard to break out of. While the troubles of being inflow are certainly important and worthy of our attention, I wanna focus today on the other side of matters, which is getting into the book.When a Book Feels Dead – Boredom, Assignments, and ResistanceThere's a sense of deadness, the words, the boredom. We could argue that sometimes a book just isn't very engaging. It's the book's fault, not mine. No, certainly that can be the case too, but I would just say, okay, we'll find another. And then you're saying I'm assigned this one. Well, okay. Okay. I give up.Let's see what we can do, anyway.  Chapter 4: Single-Path Attention – Why Planes (and No Wi‑Fi) Help Us ReadThere are any number of approaches we can take. In recent episode I describe being on a plane with a book without wifi. We're able to allow our mind to wander about, as opposed to having the internet, hobbies, or other infinite gravity pools pulling, we have the singular path forward for our attention.Cracking open the book, we can weave back and forth between being and engaging a word here, a sentence there. And sometimes we can even dive deep pretty quickly.But sometimes if you're like me, you might just fall asleep.Sometimes I'll even go through waves of falling asleep, open the book, read another sentence, and I'm out again. But after a while, sometimes something clicks and I'm off and running.Three Ways We “Read” – Sleep, Edit, or Write Something NewMy own psychoanalyst years ago would describe his own process of reading, and he said one of three things would happen. One, he'd fall asleep.Two, he'd start editing the paper, or three, he'd start writing a new paper altogether. Funny enough, he left out reading the paper itself.The Hidden Stage of Reading – Formatting, Meaning, and ConfusionAs we read, I think there's a formatting stage that isn't often discussed. Especially when we're first starting a book, new concepts are coming to mind.For them to make any sense, we need to reflect on them between what we know, what we don't know, as well as connect things together. When our minds have this tendency to wander, the initial sensation of discovering, difference, and discrepancies isn't always about wonder sometimes that would otherwise draw us in.Instead, it's about confusion. And because the birth of confusion is often unconscious, we don't recognize what caused it. Confusion appears when something doesn't make sense. Usually two or more things somehow don't connect. Maybe this sentence and that don't seem to have anything to do with each other. And we just went by not realizing it. Maybe an idea just appearing seems to conflict with something Only vaguely remembered from this last page, last paragraph, last chapter.Or maybe the words stir a set of associations, some thoughts and daydream. Something gets touched off within a recollection, A moment of sadness, joy, shame, excitement. The grocery item you just forgot. Another matter of confusion is how large of a cloud it can create within our minds. Blocking out our working and short term memories.Working Memory, Fog, and the “Reading the Same Line Again” ProblemWorking memory is that part of us that's engaged in this moment. It's the central fovea in the lens of consciousness. Short term memories about the small handful of ideas bouncing in and out of that center is that peripheral vision flowing from into the lens of consciousness. Together, these create the now.And when confusion appears, it can be this large billowing fog obstructing much of whatever it is that we would see, dragging us off into one thought after the next emotional waves pulling this way in that, mostly unconsciously, until hopefully we can find some clearer skies. We daydream, read the same sentence, the same paragraph over and over.Sometimes we don't even do that, and instead fall asleep. The wandering mind myopic and magnified it as it is and its views of the now are particularly susceptible to emotions, huge in swallowing as they can be. So how do we regain ourselves? How do we engage and feel alive again?What “Active Reading” Really Means for Wandering Minds We often hear this importance of being active in our reading. Well, what does that even mean? My analyst mentioned either editing or writing, and I agree that these are useful, but sometimes we still need to read that thing, don't we? We can use these feelings, exhaustion, confusion, and the like to recognize that some things somewhere has a disconnect.I like to use the question, "what does this have to do with that?" We identify. One sentence, one idea. Wherever my mind went, perhaps with something else, perhaps what I just read. Sometimes I discover a connection, and when I do, I'm often feeling alive again, and sometimes I don't. But having asked the question itself somehow helps contain that confusion.A Gentle Framework – “What Do I Know, Think, Not Know?”In those times that I've particularly been able to engage, I pause and wonder to myself, what do I know? What do I think about this? What do I not know? In this way the initial stage is not active in some physical sense. In fact, I go in the opposite direction. I pause, I stop reading. I ground myself with what I know, and now when I go back I can argue, I can say, wait a second.That doesn't make sense. Oh wait, I agree with that, but your foundation is wrong. But I like your conclusion. Maybe I'll even start to write whatever the case. I am alive.Why You Fall Asleep While Reading – A Theory of Brain “Formatting”Now, of course, even this is not foolproof. Sometimes I still fall asleep. I have this theory that as I sleep, my brain is formatting itself.I'm consolidating whatever I'm reading. I know it's more than a theory. There's science to say sleep is good for you and your ability to remember. But I think it goes beyond that. It's this consolidation. It's this bringing together of worlds of thought and idea between myself and another person. And the deeper the resonance into the unconscious worlds, the greater the mysteries of sleep are ready to do their work.Or I just ate a Turkey sandwich.  📍 ​ Staying Alive in the Notes - "Alight" Today's piece of music is an older piece. I think I wrote it some 20 years ago or so, and as with all my pieces of that age, they tend to evolve. I need to be alive in the performance. If I'm fading out, I think you can hear it in the notes, but it's the life of a piece and the performer that resonates with an audience.Same thing happens as we read. It's that resonance with the author. The following piece is in F Minor. It's called alight, and I hope you enjoy it....

When a language app starts running your day instead of helping you learn, something vital is off. In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore what really helps a wandering mind learn—and where streaks, scores, and mascots quietly get in the way.We look at why traditional metrics like lesson completion and streak counts so often backfire for adults with ADHD and wandering minds. We then explore how to shift from checkbox-driven learning into a more playful, embodied relationship with language, work, and creative practice. Along the way, we rethink what it means to “make progress” when our real goal is connection, not just completion. • Redefine success with measures that actually matter to you, like having a warm, real conversation instead of just hitting 80% on a quiz. • Bring play, feeling, and immersion back into your learning so that words—and work—start to flow instead of fight you. • Use milestones as gentle trellises rather than rigid rulers, so your attention can grow in its own, more natural rhythm.This episode also features an original piano composition, “Petty Walk,” a title born from a happy mistake that became its own small act of creative discovery.If this resonates, we’d love for you to subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to continue exploring calmer, more humane rhythms of focus.Transcript Okay, so if I get 10 in a row, correct, complete the next two lessons and score 80%. Three times I'll be done with studying Spanish today. Wait, how long have I been using this app and why can't they speak Spanish yet?  If I can speak a single sentence in Spanish without my Cuban mother-in-law looking at me funny, I'll consider it a success. Other reasons for the funny looks notwithstanding.Meanwhile, I've been using this language app for years now, and I continue to struggle.Curiously on various forums and subreddits, i've read similar concerns.Hey, this app is no good. I haven't learned the language yet!The Real Problem Isn’t the App – It’s How We Measure ProgressI don't believe though that the trouble was the app. Certainly it's not the be all, end all of education. It is crafted quite well, presents things very nicely, and I speak and understand a heck of a lot better than I did before using it.So what's the trouble?When Metrics Backfire – Goodhart’s Law in Everyday LearningThe trouble's, the measure. In studying and work and whatever endeavor we engage in, we'd like to have a way to step forward. Complete this. Do that move from here to there. Whatever it is, some measurement comes into play.The trouble with measuring, though, is how it can disrupt and sometimes even destroy the very thing we are trying to measure. There's a lovely quote, also known as Goodhart's Law, which says, "when a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure."I would even argue that most of what is meaningful cannot be measured, whether that's about an idea, a diagnosis, a set of symptoms.But because completion, time, characteristics, these can be measured, they become our default. Whether in learning and communications and our business transactions, we often function through measures.How much did this make? How much did you do? When will it be done?Checkboxes, Burnout, and the Death of Meaning at WorkMeasurements are not bad, but they are tools, and the more powerful the tool, the more caution it requires. When we're not cautious, we don't recognize the potential negative effects, we do so at our own peril. In fact, it may even be abused.For example, what happens at work when we only check the boxes but do nothing else? We could argue, well, we're getting the work done. What's missing is the spirit, the sense of meaning, what builds from vision and life into a living result, whether product, service, or simply being present in the culture, our existence at work becomes devoid of life.Consider checking out episode two of this podcast in which George Costanza of Seinfeld displays this problem very nicely. Conversely, when our environments where we work, whether employers or coworkers don't care for more than the checkbox, then doing more in terms of thoroughness and care might even be punished.Not only is the sense of self rejected, but the vitality is accused of being somehow "extra" or an ass kiss or something that may well make things more difficult for those nearby, even if it would be better in the end for all. The environment becomes hostile to joy and meaning, and even success as defined as a flowing union of play and work.From Milestones to Play – Bringing Life Back Into LearningWhen we wonder why we're not learning from an application, it might be more useful to considerwhere can I bring life and play into this moment rather than aim for the get through the next lesson goal?Maybe staring at a single sentence in a foreign language and consider, do I know what this means? Can I say it? Can I play with it?Or could I use it? Does it roll off the tongue? And if not, can I make it do so? What if I played with the words and the sentences until they flowed smoothly? Can I feel the sentence, can I feel it to where I can say it without having to translate it in my mind?All of this takes time. All of this moves us away from the measure of completing the lesson.When Streaks Turn Against You – Mascots, Milestones, and Misaligned GoalsThe mascot might get angry and still come after me. It becomes more clear how a measure can actively work against the thing it purports to support. But the milestone or measure is again, not bad in and of itself. In fact, we can now use the milestone of completing a lesson as a framework. A context of support within which we can find that life within the thing.It's not obvious, and it takes a deliberate focus to do so. It takes that, oh, so difficult. Pause.The Courage to Pause – Letting Play and Care Take RootBut when we pause, we can now consider and envision lean into the challenge to bring our sense of play and care to bear fruit, to have the language take root where a new channel for our voice can now form.We can further follow that play towards what one Reddit forum runner suggested. Immerse Yourself. Play, often thrives in immersion. We can read magazines, follow the news, speak with others, and more we can follow that playful sense into new realms beyond the app.Redefining Success – Better Measures for ADHD-Friendly MasteryCertainly milestones and completion are important. Measurements are important, but play is vitality. And without it, our measures petrify. Whether we complete or pursue and measure by milestone or not, it'll certainly have their consequences.Arguing for the spirit of play may even be the work of the brave and the work of the brave often fails as without the potential for failure. What bravery was there anyway? But without playing care, forming, filling the vessels of meaning, what have we got?And of course, we can create our own measures Maybe. I like the idea of being able to measure, having an easy conversation with my mother-in-law. That seems to be a better measure than any.Petty Walk, Happy Accidents, and Creative DiscoveryToday's musical piece was originally titled Pretty Walk, but I mistyped it and it became Petty Walk. I have no idea what a petty walk might be. But I like the error and I decided to keep it. Creativity, after all, is a discovery of what we're making in the act of making it. Errors are often only deviations from some original vision.Well, here's the piece. I hope you enjoy it. Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

In today’s episode of Rhythms of Focus, we how motivation can seem to slip away when someone else's "should" enters the equation.Why do wandering minds rebel against orders? How does honoring our unique mental rhythms restore our sense of agency, especially when ADHD shapes our day to day.Takeaways:Recognize the subtle ways internalized authority undermines our drive—and how to gently reclaim itPractice strategies for honoring our past, present, and future selves to smooth task transitionsReframe lists and routines as creative allies rather than rigid overseersThis episode features our original contemplative piano piece, “Shallow Breath,” designed to accompany your mindful moments.Subscribe and join our compassionate community at rhythmsoffocus.com—let’s transform productivity into an art, not a struggle.Hashtags #ADHD #WanderingMinds #Agency #MindfulProductivity #Neurodivergent #FocusStrategies #SelfCompassion #CreativeProductivity #TaskTransitions #RhythmsOfFocusTranscriptTranscript I might just might do the dishes now. Oh my goodness, I'm getting up. I'm walking over to the dishes. I'm gonna do it.Suddenly a voice calls from the other room. Hey, you haven't done the dishes in a while. When are you gonna do them?Uh, I don't feel like doing them anymore. What just happened? Sometimes we're right about to do a thing with our own volition. And somebody else suddenly says, Hey, go do the thing, and suddenly our desire to do it is gone. Our sense of agency was, in a sense, attacked wittingly or otherwise. Our hero already struggling with a want of motivation. Whim, or the muse finally had the winds tickling the sails.When someone else told them to do the very same thing, the desire was gone. Many of us struggle with being told what to do.Some blame dopamine. There's not enough. It's outta balance. It isn't interesting or urgent enough. Some make a moral accusation of laziness and the like.However, when we approach from perspective our ourselves as growing human beings, you might recognize an early template at work. When our environments tell us what to do in this out of tune manner, in some way that doesn't quite recognize where we are, we might reject it.Clean your room when our minds are elsewhere. When any process of transition is ignored rather than guided, doesn't work, it often creates problems.The lack of empathy may not have been malicious. It was simply a disengaged approach to a mind that wanders, a mind fueled by, and reveling in play, creativity and discovery.It may not even have been possible. The transition simply too long in whatever the scope of what needed to happen.But when these things happen over and over, we absorb this message that our natural mental rhythms are somehow wrong, contrasting with the self that clearly exists, regardless of how wrong we accuse it of being and so we rebel.Unfortunately, we may internalize the rebellion as well, forming a form of reflex, an unconscious ready path of rejection. We rebel against ourselves. The authority within.How often have you written, write report, or some similar item on a task list? Only to see it later and then say, well, "not now."Later. Continues to be later, as later always does, and the task languishes until it sinks below the surface or a deadline threatens from the horizon. We saw our past self as this unempathic authority to reject. When we see the task "do dishes" and the like, our emotions swell reflecting the relationships we've internalized.Without a simultaneous honoring of our past self, caring for our future selves and respect for our present self, we channel and perpetuate the injuries. Our tasks, lists, and shiny new apps only become the medium.Music - "Shallow Breath" Today's piece of music is a quiet, contemplative one. It's called shallow breath. I hope you enjoy it.  Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

In this episode of 'Rhythms of Focus,' listeners explore the concept of 'trip wires' as a tool for mindfulness and task management. Discover how to set effective reminders for your future self and understand the phenomenon of 'Sticky Decor Decay,' where unaddressed reminders blend into the background over time. Learn actionable strategies to prevent task overwhelm and ensure your reminders stay effective. Plus, enjoy an original piano composition titled 'Humming the End' that underscores the episode's themes. Subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for more insights tailored for adults with wandering minds and ADHD.00:00 Sticky Decor Decay01:37 The Need to Store Intentions01:58 Trip Wires03:47 "Sticky Decor Decay"05:24 SDD as a List06:19 An Equation Makes Science!?Hashtags #ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #FocusHabits #CreativeAgency #Intentions #SelfCompassion #Neurodivergent #RhythmsOfFocus #PianoMeditationTranscript I gotta do this and I gotta do that. You know what, I'll just leave this thing over here. Yeah, I'll leave this here to remind myself.Three months go by.What the heck is this doing here?  The Need to Store IntentionsWe can't do everything at the same time. The options are many, but the actions need to be singular. We need to take out the garbage, but something just fell to the floor. We need to remember to move a thing to the garage, but right now we're doing the dishes. We need to buy stuff from the store, but right now we're not going to the store.Trip WiresOne means of managing this is to use a trip wire. What do I mean by a trip wire? Well, a tripwire is a reminder that we set for our future selves. We have some intention now that we're not done with, we'd like to get to, and so we ask our future self,"Hey, can you pick this up for me?"The hope is that future self will then see, hear, feel somehow experience this reminder, then pick up that thing and follow through while our present self does whatever else.We do this all the time. Maybe we put a grocery list on a sticky note by the door, so we see it as we leave the house. Maybe we leave that book by the nightstand to remind ourselves to read it. Maybe we'll leave a vacuum cleaner out in the morning before leaving to work, to remind ourselves, perhaps optimistically, to vacuum later in the afternoon.The hope is that we'd be reminded about a thing and then do something in that moment.This can be a viable strategy. That does apply a certain pressure on our future selves and that they need to not only receive that information, but also then act in that moment acting in a way that aligns with present self, including managing those "I don't wanna feelings" when they receive it. Even so it's still not the whole picture. For example, I prepared sandwiches for myself for lunch later in the day, only to leave them on the kitchen table, unrefrigerated, only realized when lunch rolls around.I partially solved the problem with a trip wire by putting it in a plastic bag and hanging it on the doorknob. But then again, sometimes I still forget. I walk through the door, seemingly only mildly annoyed that there's something hanging on the doorknob, as I walk out,"I have places to go, things on my mind. That thing in the doorknob, well, I'll deal with that later." "Sticky Decor Decay"The funny thing about trip wires is that when we don't act on them, they decay. It's not just sandwiches, it's anything. In fact, I've come up with this phrase that's kind of fun to say. It's called "Sticky Decor Decay." Sticky Decor Decay.It has zero basis in any scientific rigor whatsoever, but I wonder if it might resonate with you, and I'm trying to come up with an equation to describe this. Maybe one that you, dear listeners can help me out with. So if you come up with some ideas and think that it's, uh, I'm onto something, or if you can improve on it, whatever it is, drop me a line.It goes something like this. When we first see a trip wire, something we've laid out for ourselves, we can address it or not.When I say addressing something, I mean taking action with it, or maybe changing it, or at least acknowledging its presence, the lack of a possible current action, and what would be necessary to take action with it, and arranging for that.If we don't address the trip wire, it has, let's say a 50% increased chance of blending into the background.In fact, every time we don't address it, it keeps fading by another 50%. So, as an example, if the trip wire had a 0% chance of blending into the background in the first instance, we saw it, by the time we pass it five times without addressing it, it has approximately a 97% chance of blending into the background.It has now become part of the decor. It decays into decor. Sticky Decor Decay in a ListNow we can see the same process happen with our tasks and lists. For example, let's say you have a list of things to do that dreaded "things to do" list.Quite easily, items can sit there undone. We jump from one side to another, everywhere in between searching for what's simultaneously easy and important or maybe best aligned with our current state of interest and energy. But somewhere along the way, the tasks in between the serious ones, the heavy ones, the poorly worded ones, the ones that don't reflect our current realities, all that well stick around.Not only do they stick around. They are ignored and as they're ignored, they seem to accrue like coat hangers in a closet or rabbits in the spring, they just multiply, choking out the list, contributing to that sense of overwhelm. As they multiply, they just glom onto each other. They're sticky, sticky decor decay.An Equation Makes Science!?So. Here's an equation I've come up with, and I understand that the audio podcast is totally not the medium for describing an equation, but whatever. I'm gonna do it anyway.From the get go. A trip wire has a certain percentage chance of standing out. Let's call that T for trip wire.How well it stands out also depends on the clutter around it. P for physical clutter, M for mental clutter, like scatter, exhaustion, confusion, and more.But there are also these undercurrents of habits, H of managing that area. For example, if we have a habit of cleaning the dishes in the sink, adding a mug there is an easy to use ready trip wire to remind us to clean the mug. But if we don't have that habit, it doesn't work so well, often just becoming more clutter.There's also how much the trip wire loses its power over time as we pass it by without addressing it as I was just describing. Let's call that L for power loss. I gave it 50% in the example earlier.And then there's how many times we've passed it by. We can give that letter N for number, so the equation. T tripwire times H, habit times L, loss to the nth power divided by P times M, mental clutter, all multiplied by K, where K stands for the sticky decor decay constant.And now because it's an equation, it's totally scientific. If this makes any sense whatsoever to you or not at all, I'd love to hear your thoughts. So the next time you plan to leave something out, to remind yourself to do something, consider writing an equation about it, then making a podcast out of it and consulting your podcast community, then write about it to your newsletter, and that way you don't have to do the vacuuming, at least not just yet.Wine and Music - "Humming the End"I once took a wine tasting class. It was my senior year of college, and I remember the teacher saying something along the lines of, there are many things that can go into the taste of a wine, but one thing I appreciate most is how long the taste lasts.When we listen to music, a similar thing happens.First pass is really only a formatting of sorts. While much is already there from past listens. This projection we do as we try to understand anything really, there's this new world to discover in sound. The worlds are simple spaces created by left, right, up, down nature of it all. Twos are contrasted with fours highs, with lows, all creating this sonic playground for the mind, this part of ourselves after listening that said, Hmm, I had fun in that playground. I'd like to do that again. It comes out as I'd like to listen again.Our minds are asking to play in that world to form, to grow our minds associate and bound about. If you have ever found yourself humming along with a piece of music, whether it's the exact notes or some harmony, it's your mind playing.We listen again and again, though often with decreasing frequencies trailing off as we've learned through that play, whatever it is that we would learn.Sometimes these pieces become parts of our communities. Our worlds the supportive riverbed for our intentions, if not spirits, we hear them because they mean something to us and sometimes we don't. The swing sets may not fit us anymore.Either way, we come to some settled place with it. New ideas and sensations only come through as ripples, if at all. No new information comes to mind.And so I have a similar measure of music as my teacher did with wine. I like it when a piece of music stays with me and I listen to it and I come back to it over time.I like it when seems to stumble at the beginning. I'm like, what is this? But then as you give it a few more listens, the structure becomes more and more apparent.That number of times that some part of us genuinely asks to repeat those listens, that length of how long it lasts, it resonates as being a good piece of music.So this piece of music that I'll play for you now, it's called Humming the...

Discover eight distinct “gears” of focus—stages we moves through, from simply being, to considering, approaching, and ultimately performing at our best. Honoring each gear transforms frustration and procrastination into creative flow and agency. Drawing parallels to music, emotional waves, and mindful play, this episode invites listeners to see hard work not as a battle, but as a dance with emotion, context, and self-compassion.Learn to recognize and move through all eight "gears" of focus, from daydreaming to performingEvery episode features an original piano composition—this time, enjoy “On a Dare” in C minor. Subscribe and find more mindful productivity resources at rhythmsoffocus.com—because your rhythm matters more than rigid rules.Hashtags#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #FocusStrategies #Agency #Creativity #EmotionalWaves #RhythmNotRules #GentleSelfMastery #PianoAndFocusTranscript Sometimes we could just fall right into a project, pick it up, and bam, we're in it. Even when we hit a bump here and there, we can make it through sailing. Other times, sometimes even with the same project, just on some other day, a sense of revulsion can just emanate from it.Or maybe we barely consider, it doesn't even come to mind, or maybe we start to ruminate about it. Keeps coming to mind and we think, Ugh, I really have to figure that one out. Meanwhile, the deadline creeps along until it crosses that threshold where we finally kick into gear. In either case, whether we're enjoying something or we're trying to avoid it, we go through many of the same steps, and when we know them, we can start to more deliberately take on the things that are difficult or have that, "I don't wanna" cloud around it. I in fact, count eight different gears in which we can engage something, what I call eight gears of focus.In a Plane with a BookHave you ever been on an airplane or some enclosed space? Where you didn't have wifi or minimal distractions, but you do have a book. I imagine somewhere in your life you've been in something of the situation. What happened?You may well have started to read. Not only that may have even started to get into it and then wondered,Why can't I always do this?Somewhere in here you might think you were forced to read 'cause that's all you could do, but I'd suggest that's not really what's happening. In fact, what's happening is that we're supported by the zeroth gear of focus.There are eight gears of focus that I count starting with this zeroth gear.When we're good at something, we naturally move back and forth through these gears. Shifting is needed without even thinking about it. Sometimes we support them, sometimes we ignore them and get into a lot of trouble. It's when we get into difficult matters where things really throw us off.We lose sight of these gears, or we don't even feel them as we naturally progress through them. And that's where we can get into a lot of trouble, like habits that don't take hold and projects that are never followed through.So today I thought I'd outline these gears.They're, uh, an important part of the waves of focus course that I've put together for those with wandering minds, ADHD, and beyond. But I think we go through all of these gears, regardless of neurology. See I have this theory that hard work is emotional work. Complex work requires the management of overwhelm. Even physically threatening work like being a firefighter requires the management of fear. Logic itself is a flow of play through seeking and understanding.Emotion, and at least the definition I use is that which crests into consciousness, whether by caress or crash.Our focus is our means of choosing and riding one or some set of these emotional waves that are currently brushing into the hull of conscious awareness. And as these waves continue to move, into crash into us, the distractions, the struggles, the confusion, overwhelm, rage, "I don't wanna" feelings and more we have to still navigate amongst them.We do this all the time unconsciously. Particularly when we're engaged, enjoying a thrilling video game, we constantly are confronted with the challenge. If we weren't, the game wouldn't be successful. Once we hit challenge, we have a means of thinking through what to do and where to go next to explore limits and follow some story step that we co-create, whether to walk into a cave or take the next headshot.When we consciously are aware of these steps, we're that much better equipped to address the difficult tasks, the hard, the emotional as they present.Zeroth Gear - BeSo let's begin with the beginning. This zeroth gear of being. In being we're without intention. We stare off into space, we daydream, we simply exist. It would seem silly to call this anything.How does having no intention relate to work or play or anything related to productivity at all? In the example of the book on the plane, we weren't forced. No one's forcing our eyes into the page. No one's forcing the words to travel into our minds and embed themselves anywhere. Instead, we move rhythmically back and forth, maybe staring first at the fabric of the seat in front of us.We might look up at the flight attendant and wonder about who they are. Maybe get annoyed at the leg room. I wonder about the person sitting next to us, back to the pattern on the fabric on the seat in front of us. But at some point, maybe we touch the binding of the book, admire its craft or not at all.Flip the book open. Look through it. What's in the chapter headings? The words start their way in. Maybe an idea comes to mind and then somehow we're back looking at that fabric, that pattern. What is that pattern? Flight attendants coming back. I wonder when I can say what I want to drink, how long it's gonna take, wait, what do I want to drink?Wait, if I drink, do I have to go to the bathroom? Oh man. And then you're back in the book. On and on. This goes on. But somewhere along the way in this flow back and forth, something happens and we are in it. We can imagine the characters, the foundational principles, the whatever of the book. What started as slow is now this proper flow.The stories that come to mind, warm us, anger us, capture us in the world between the words.We could simply be. And when we allowed ourselves to simply be, we also found a way to tune in. We connected at our pace. In pausing, we can space out and allow thoughts and associations to bubble into consciousness. In being we better perceive and receive.So much of the work of work is in crafting our contexts to be able to support our ability to be, where the thresholds are raised, to avoid going off into other things, but allowing us to be there with what we decide our intention to be. So that was our zero gear being.First Gear - ConsiderNow, our first gear is where we begin to relate to our intentions. And intentions about wanting something to be in a different state than it currently is. When concrete, we can see the end state. We know the steps. When it's creative, we cannot see the end or know the steps there.Instead, a creative intention, something that we have to be creative with, is about discovering something in the act of creating it. Every step reveals something , blurry as that vision may be.And when we consider, we imagine where we are, where we'd like to be, we allow thoughts to come to mind, we associate in those ideal times where we can allow our associations to come to a standstill or a gentle ripple, simply where no new information comes to mind. We reach that point of acknowledgement. We see those parts as best as we can. We, this moment, as clear as they can be, risks, fears, concerns, they're there, unchanging. Our options are before us, including inaction. What do I know about this book? What are the chapters? Who are the characters? What can I bring to mind? Where do I think this might go?Grounding ourselves in our present experience, and the vision that we have gently starts stirring the emotional pools within our mind.Second Gear - ApproachSo zero is being, one is consideration. Two is our approach as we approach. Looking at the book, looking at the project, looking at the garage that's in disarray, whatever the project, somehow we start to feel something. We might even be an immediate hit with a sense of wanting to run away. But if we can stay with that emotion, connect to that tension, that frustration, or whatever the feeling is, doors, windows, portals of challenge might start to appear.If you've ever done yoga, you might have a physical sense of this.In approaching a position, you can feel the tension come alive. Paying attention to that tension, you can then slow yourself down, find some simplicity in it, find something small you can do within that tension. If you ignore it well, you might hurt yourself. But in paying attention to it, you start engaging something, growing something, developing something within yourself.With a book, you might feel overwhelmed, lost in the characters, the ideas confused. We might try to hold on to those feelings of confusion, we can then wonder, what is it that's confusing me? What's overwhelming me? Again, we can slow it down. We can shrink down. We can find some tiny next action, simplify down to a single sentence, if not word.It's in that slowing down, simplifying, shrinking down, that we can find ease. And in finding ease as small as that may be, maybe just brushing the dust off that project that's been sitting there forever, we start to find what we can trust. And finding what we can trust within ourselves, we can start finding that place of play, that spirit, that growth that...

In this episode of "Rhythms of Focus," we consider distraction and stimulation. When our minds wander and the pull of the phone grows strong, we search for stimulation is actually a longing for real meaning and energy in what we do.Explore how our emotions shape the way we focus and why boredom so often pushes us toward escape. In pausing—noticing our feelings instead of avoiding them—we can find agency. Mindfully, we practice shifting from reactivity to a state where we can choose what feels truly right for each of us.Takeaways from this episode:Recognize what fuels the urge to distract ourselves and how to address it with understandingLearn a practical technique for pausing and noticing emotions to unlock a new sense of agencyDiscover how awareness can transform moments of discomfort into opportunities for meaningful actionThis episode features our original piano piece, “Prelude to an End,” to help anchor these reflections and support our mindful rhythm.Subscribe for more supportive conversations, and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to deepen your journey with us.Hashtags #ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #EmotionalResilience #Creativity #FocusChallenges #Neurodivergent #IntentionalLiving #PianoMusic Trancript  "What if I did my weekly review? Oh, but I just gotta write that report. I'm a nails need clipping. I would rather go and do that. No. How about if I just, uh, yeah. Hopeless. But I think I just need a reset. Let's see what's on Instagram here."Three hours go by."Where did the day go? Oh my goodness, I had so much to do."     Getting lost in the day. The media politics, both grand and in the family, it's far too easy to lose our bearings. We might blame this sense in ourselves that we need stimulation. Whatever it is we're "supposed to do" is simply not stimulating enough. Might be quite boring, in fact, but what is that craving for stimulation?The word itself is so bland.We might say, well, I need something that's shiny or on fire as a client of mine would say. But even these are not enough to describe what this is.Stimulation, is this stand-in for a sense of vitality. We want to feel alive, some depth of meaning growing somewhere within us. All right, so how is that related to this infinite scrolling on our phones? Well, any number of emotions get touched off. Humor connects because it draws attention to something we haven't considered. Some surprise and discovery, some edge of society. Fear connects because it tells us to look over here at the risk of peril. Sex connects because the creative spirit in lust is just that powerful, this massive momentum carrying us through the ages.All of these emotions connect to some sense of meaning within ourselves.So how can a report possibly compete? We need stimulation again because we need something to feel real.Alright, so what the heck does this have to do with any form of productivity in whatever shape or form? Well, when we can acknowledge that the so-called need for stimulation is more truly about some need to feel alive, we can find a new direction.For example, let's say we're able in some rare moment to catch ourselves scrolling through the phone, wonder to ourselves, well, what am I doing? The initial impulse might be to say, how do I avoid this? How do I get out of this phone?Well, I'll try to do nothing. Well, that rarely works. Nature of which our minds are apart abhors a vacuum. That phone is easily reached for once again, the unconscious forces are powerful, much more so than that blip of consciousness with which we sail our lives and we ignore that power at our own peril.It's all too easy to just find ourselves in the phone, not realizing we were there. Another impulse might be,I'll try to do something. Anything else!Sometimes this works, like a smoker trying to quit finding some chewing gum. Or maybe we throw ourselves into that report, maybe even getting something done.But there is a third option, which is not so apparent, and that is to pause.Pausing seems like nothing. What's the difference between pausing and doing nothing? Well, in a pause. We're conscious, we can deliberately feel the boredom, pay direct attention to it, might even attempt to locate it in our body.Where does it register? How does the feeling feel? Again, what's the point? The point is that this practice begins shifting emotion from driver to messenger.Boredom is the driver that sent us scrolling.In other words, by pausing, we heighten our sense of agency, that ability to decide and engage non-reactively. That non-reactive bit, that shifting of emotion from driver to messenger is born in the pause. That ability is core to deciding what's most meaningful, what's most alive in us in this moment of the Now, and we can decide which of the many waves we wish to ride from that pause.Maybe instead of continuing to scroll, we decide to rest ourselves in the face of the tensions of that report, to sit with them, brave the feelings that it seems to emanate. Maybe we find within those feelings some window of challenge, that kindling of play.And when we don't acknowledge an emotion, we don't hear its message, so its spirit has this greater tendency to blend into us, suffuse us, take us over. In the internal family systems model of psychotherapy, we could say it doesn't trust us, and so it takes the driver's seat without our knowing.So as a takeaway here, consider the practice of pausing.Maybe after this episode ends, take a moment to pause and consider what is the feeling? It's probably the hardest of the entire range of productivity ideas, but I think it's also the most important.    Every session, every wave of focus comes to an end. But as we end, we can take a deliberate approach to setting things aside and preparing for some next visit, some next time we return, in effect, sending a care package to our future selves. And doing so is something of a wave within a wave with its own approach, middle and end.Today's piece of music is called Prelude to an End.  Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Feeling stuck—where even the simplest task feels too heavy to lift? In this episode, instead of chasing rigid productivity, listeners will discover the subtle art of finding ease within challenge, tuning into the rhythms of play, and learning how to gently move forward even when motivation wanes.Listeners will learn:How play, frustration, and challenge intertwine, illuminating gentler ways forwardPractical methods to surface and honor emotions that hinder focus, catalyzing growth through compassionTakeaways:Pause to reflect deeply before acting, creating space for authentic decisionsShrink tasks down to their smallest steps, inviting ease rather than pressureChannel rhythms of natural play into even the most stubborn work momentsThis episode features a performance of Scott Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag. Subscribe and join our growing community at rhythmsoffocus.com—where wandering minds thrive along waves of agency and creativity.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Agency #Mindfulness #GentleProductivity #PlayfulFocus #EmotionalEase #CreativeFlow #CompassionateGrowth #MicroActionsTranscript  All right. Let's see what I've got on my list here to do today. All right. Uh, visit the gym. Are you kidding me?  Sometimes the simplest things can feel like the heaviest weights. The simpler they are, the more paradoxically we "can't be bothered."Head to the garage, show up to the dishes, open the report- all of these can come with a wave of revulsion.How could we ever move forward?I often and continue to espouse a "visit" as a powerful unit of work. This idea of showing up to something or bringing it to ourselves and staying there for one single deep breath, and then making a decision as to what we wanna do, whether walk away or into the work.It is a powerful unit of work, but even so, it might still be too difficult to make it there, even with this idea of not having to do a thing.What then? I imagine there have been times that you've been here. Maybe someone kept bugging you, maybe a due date crept along far enough, or just yelled at yourself into this sort of painful, "just start" and you finally started going.But there are gentler paths and you may well have done those too.Take for example, how we already act when we are in play. When we enjoy something naturally, we might bump into frustrations, take stock of where we are, slow down, break things down, simplify things, find some ease once again, and finally return with that ease back into challenge. Dynamically, we tune to the windows of challenge for where we are in that moment.We find those places that are not so easy to be boring and not so intense as to be overwhelming.We can adapt the same process to difficult work, hard work, something we can also call emotional work, only by bringing the process to consciousness. The first and perhaps most important step is to pause, where we reflect without reacting, where we can connect to that deeper sense of self. It gives us that space to decide:" Maybe this isn't even a thing that is meaningful for me at all."But if we do decide to move forward. We can also sense in that pause where we rest in those emotions that we discover something hidden in the words that we've been using. The sort of, "I just don't wanna" sort of phrase, we might be saying to ourselves, we can discover this deep, complex, emotional world beneath those words.In that pause, we might see one such emotion that's contributing that of let's say, exhaustion. This consequence of repeated hits to our sense of agency, dropping, losing, forgetting things. We lose the sense of capability. Any attempt risks yet another injury as a fear of true inability would rear its ugly head in these clouds, choking us into collapse.Fully engaging these emotions, maybe even feeling them physically within our body, we can now better find this genuine tendril of ease, somewhere within there, somewhere within ourselves, or at least something easier. Whether we slow down, we break something down to some tiniest of tiny next steps, or find this fundamental basic within the complex moment, there may be something we can work into an ease.A being able to do with barely a thought, even if it's to hardly lift a leg off the couch. Finally, if we're able to find that path to that tiny ease, we can then ask,"Can I gently bring that ease with me forward and to some next step?"Sometimes we may even be able to continue onward to make a visit, stepping up to the work to stare at the vista now with our full emotional selves, and we can then fully decide whether or not to engage that wave of focus as smooth or as rough as it may end up being.So much of our culture, extols the virtue of the hard. Challenge- it can be wonderful, but how do we deal with it? It's not about pushing harder. No pain, no gain. This sentiment is there might be some truth to it somewhere within it, but it also skips the part of how the pain is more messenger than fuel.Why lose sight of the gentle origins of play nourished in an earth of gentle ease? We can certainly pay attention to pain, but we can also spend time and care where play may build into a more matured, elegance and supple power.So the takeaway here is the next time you find yourself in play in something you're enjoying, that feels meaningful to you, that has you in some depth, see if you can find those moments of frustration. Those moments where it's like,"Oh, how does this work?"And see how it fits in with challenge, how you might slow down, simplify, shrink things down, and then find that ease and come back and how that might be happening naturally without even conscious awareness.And if you can do that, think of how you might start bringing that to things that might be more difficult, things you might wanna avoid and see if that might actually be able to be transferred there too.   Scott Joplin, king of Ragtime, created this wonderful piece of music called the Maple Leaf Rag. Copyrighted in 1899  the piece is this jumble of back and forth ideas. One thing happens here, but it doesn't happen there. Over and over throughout the piece as I play it, I need to be in this sort of meditative question ofWhere am I?Because as soon as I lose sight of that question, I'm in the wrong place and have made plenty of mistakes.By many accounts performing this piece should be "hard." But the practice, as is with mastery in general, is about bringing what's hard, to easy and the gentle path there. We can break things down into the tiniest of single notes, single chords.Maybe I'm asking myself, oh, what's this about? And then I allow myself to wonder in my own time to form with the sounds.It's an absolutely lovely piece and I do hope you enjoy it.   Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Discover why your latest app or productivity hack is not the real hero—or the real challenge. In this episode of "Rhythms of Focus," we explore what truly lies beneath those endless quests for the perfect system, shining a compassionate light on wandering minds and ADHD.Listeners will uncover how recognizing and respecting four key limits—time, agency, working memory, and trust—is far more liberating than forcing themselves into rigid molds. Instead of battling against limitations, you’ll learn to use them as anchors for meaningful work and creative rhythm. This episode unpacks the seductive promise of productivity systems, the artistry of aligning attention with intention, and gentle strategies to transform overwhelm into empowered agency.Key takeaways:Honor time, agency, working memory, and trust as necessary boundaries that support creative flow.Replace shame and frustration with self-compassion—embracing playful mastery over strict discipline.Discover actionable ways to build a trusted, resilient productivity environment that fits a wandering mind.As always, enjoy an original piano composition woven into today’s episode, designed to nurture calm and focus.If this resonates, subscribe and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for more insights, resources, and episodes to help your unique rhythm thrive.Hashtags #ADHD #WanderingMinds #Agency #MindfulProductivity #FocusRhythms #CreativeFlow #WorkWithLimits #SelfCompassion #AttentionMastery #OriginalMusic TranscriptWhy won't the system work?! I found a new productivity app, let me tell you about, it's the greatest thing ever. Oh, did you hear about that productivity book by Mr. Awesome Sauce. It's the greatest thing ever. Fast forward two months, uh, another system down the drain. I can't do any of these.Maybe there's just something wrong with me. I can't seem to make any of these work. What's going on? I what? What if it's not the app? What if it's not the book? What if it's not ourselves? All right, where is it then? Maybe it's in something we still need to acknowledge the limits.Seduction of an AppThe promises of some productivity system can be powerfully seductive.The idea is that we'd get more done with less effort. Stay on top of it all. Everything's organized. Everything shows up exactly where we need it. Heck, I do have a system myself and I think it's pretty darn awesome. Lemme tell you, it's all shiny and new, but that may well crash too.Pushing Limits We often push limits.It's important to push limits. Play, this depth and breadth of flow between self and world discovery, question and tension- it's a vitality that once it finds root can be such an inspirational flow. The sap of mastery and meaningful work and relationships. We see it in the toddler in their focus while they're stacking blocks and we see it in the craft's master that has that same focus as they're in that deep reverie.Play pushes limits. We tend to think of limits as somehow enemies, or perhaps they're ever present challenges that must be dominated, broken through, if not destroyed.And we can see that as well between the toddler and the adult.Supportive EnvironmentsTo reach that place of being able to stack blocks, we have a sense that our environment can hold us, that it won't interrupt us without care or reason.That's somehow takes us and our being hood into account. Maybe we push one way or the other. We try to wander this way or that. But time and again, in ways we know and in many ways we don't, perhaps only feeling it as this gentle wave from some distant shore, we are supported, in being here and now.The craftsperson similarly has done the work themselves of establishing those things, the environment, whether appearing to be a chaotic mess or this pristine lining of tools and resources. Somehow it's been placed to be in tune with that sense of the creative self.Internally too, skill and knowledge have been whittled as their own tools well worn in time and practice. They trust their environment to support that creative self. They can simply be and allow that creativity to well from within.Discovering and Acknowledging LimitsBut to get to those trusted environments, we discover those limits that line the objects of our world. Our words, our knowledge, our skills, our being hood exist by way of being bounded. Many artists quickly discover that limitations can, in fact, enhance creativity, but how? Is it simply that we limit options and therefore offer some relief to working memory? Is it some wordless inspiration perhaps? Well, it could be both. Likely more.I think it's through these testing of limits that we establish what we can trust. We know what the playground is, we know what works, what doesn't, and certainly we can test and retest our limits, what we can trust and what we cannot.But once we've established what we can trust, and more importantly, acknowledge, perhaps even respect them as things that exist, play has this tendency to appear.Defining ProductivityIn systems of productivity we have several limits that we need to respect. And before I even say what those limits are, I want to define productivity itself because it can be such a nasty and perverted word. Probably I could do a whole episode on that, but for now, just defining it.Productivity is the art and skill of bringing attention to intention, and that's it. This art and skill of bringing attention to an intention. Now, perhaps I can also differentiate that from meaningful productivity, which I define as a practice of finding and weaving mastery and meaningful work into our daily lives and relationships.Limits in ProductivityAll right, so now that I've defined the idea of productivity, there are four limits that I currently count that benefit from our respect, some of which we tend to be okay with, or at least pay lip service to, and others we ignore completely.These four are time, agency, working memory, and trust. I will say them again. Time, agency, working memory and trust.The trouble with most systems is that we don't recognize, let alone acknowledge that we're limited, further, that we have to balance ourselves within these limits. As an example, when we're asked to make a "brain dump," we might initially feel relieved,Hey, I don't have to hold this in my mind.But quickly we become overwhelmed again, if not worse than before. We are overwhelmed with our sense of obligation, some responsibilities consciously, some unconsciously, agreed to, our sense of needing to organize this brain dump, now, to be able to even know what organized means when it comes to this mess we've now created.We do not trust we can get to what we want to. We have no sense of time for it. It does not fit our working memory.Let's take another example that of "hyperscheduling," this practice of scheduling every minute of the day as if we were budgeting our time like money. Here we clearly do acknowledge the limits of time, but we avoid the limits of agency in our sense of trust of being able to follow through.For example, agency being this ability and skill to decide and engage non-reactively appears at numerous points when we've hyper scheduled.When that time comes to do the thing, how would we feel? What if something more important were going on? What if we miss something? How do we stop if we're not done? And there are many other questions that can come to mind.These questions are particularly important to a wandering mind, whose time sense is more aligned to nature's time than to that of the manmade clock. Check out episode 23 for more on that. Yes, we can make adjustments on the fly, but that drains that sense of agency and we're confronted with the worries of procrastination and the plain and simple, "I don't wanna" feelings.Let's take a look at a third example that of the weekly review. The advice is to go through each one of our projects and make sure that all of them have a next action in place, getting the actions themselves generally more organized, that each of these actions are then listed on the correct action lists, all of which can be useful ideas. I myself even listed in one of my books something like 20 different questions you could Review at a weekly review. And the idea is to do this every week.One of my students described this process to be something like dragging sandpaper across his eyes. Quite a brutal metaphor. It's incredibly exhausting, and one of the reasons why many people often don't stick with this aspect of a system.In this situation, we're not respecting the limits of agency.We often refer to energy, but I'm not sure that's often useful in our thoughts here because energy can fluctuate widely depending on what we're doing, but we can still show up as in a visit and then make a decision. Sometimes we find the energy by plucking at those windows of challenge that meet us where we are.But agency, that ability to decide and engage as we reflect on the sense of emotions and options of the moment, that does seem to have its limits. It's not clear what those limits are. It's not measurable in the usual sense of measuring it. Then again, most things that are meaningful cannot be measured.We can still consider it internally. For example, I've since simplified my weekly review. The primary question I ask is, when and how will I see it again? I can tie it to my central attention hub, that then presents things when and where I want to see them. And I do that in a way that doesn't overwhelm me.A TakeawayThere are many other examples of troubles that we can get into with our systems, but the takeaway is this, whatever...

Break free from the tyranny of the unbroken streak—what if focus meant something deeper than chasing another checkmark? This episode of Rhythms of Focus invites wandering minds and adults with ADHD to let go of the pressure to “never miss a day,” discovering a kinder, rhythm-based approach to meaningful growth.In this episode, explore:- Why the “Don’t Break the Chain” habit method can create more anxiety and shame than mastery.- How shifting from scorekeeping to presence transforms habit-building from a rigid tally into a playful, mindful journey.- Practical strategies to reframe loss and missed days as part of life’s natural ebb and flow—fostering agency rather than guiltKey takeaways:- Learn why focusing on experience rather than streaks fosters real mastery and self-compassion.- Discover the three-part Daily Invite: decide, be, and act—without the weight of perfection.- Begin to view your habits as musical rhythms, not broken chains—open to improvisation, pauses, and creative renewal.This episode features an original piano composition, “Ascend,” reflecting the dance between struggle and growth. Subscribe for more gentle, empowering strategies, and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for resources tailored to creative, neurodivergent thinkers.### Hashtags:#ADHD #WanderingMinds #FocusRhythms #MindfulProductivity #GentleHabits #SelfCompassion #DailyInvite #CreativeGrowth #Agency #NeurodiversityMentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

A short little poemMentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Uncover a revolutionary approach to managing ADHD and wandering minds in this episode of 'Rhythms of Focus.' Discover the 'Waves of Focus,' a comprehensive guide designed to transition you from force-based productivity to trust-based agency. Delve into key concepts such as the anchor, visit, and visit guide. Understand how to create a meaningful, rhythm-oriented life framework that enhances agency and mindfulness. - Key Takeaways: - Learn to transition from force-based to trust-based productivity. - Discover tools and techniques like the anchor and visit guide. - Understand how to create meaningful rhythms and improve your sense of agency.Subscribe to 'Rhythms of Focus' and visit rhythmsoffocus.com. ### Links- [Crocodile and Cube: In the Studio](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaRbIj8RyZIaLGCiP4DYnPBsTbKuSj1Nw)- [Episode 4](https://rhythms-of-focus.captivate.fm/episode/from-force-to-flow-with-a-visit/)- [Episode 9](https://rhythms-of-focus.captivate.fm/episode/i-dont-wanna-and-the-practice-of-agency/)- [Episode 14](https://rhythms-of-focus.captivate.fm/episode/the-magnified-mind/)### Keywords #WavesofFocus #Agency #Mindfulness #RhythmsOfFocus #Tools #ADHD #WanderingMinds #TrustBasedProductivity #AnchorTechnique #VisitGuide00:00 The Principles of the Waves of Focus03:36 What are the Waves of Focus?03:47 One - a Goal04:30 Second - a Philosophy06:19 Three - a Metaphor08:01 Four - A Set of Tools09:29 Five - A Framework12:25 Six - A Set of Rhythms14:55 Seven - a Practice15:26 Final Thoughts15:59 Music - "The Dust Cleared"Transcript How do we approach challenge? Sometimes we turn away, sometimes we dive in, sometimes we sidle up next to it. Gently stir the water with a big toe slip our legs in, sit with our feet dangling as we look across the pond and wonder. So I put a challenge before myself here now. It's about trying to explain my life's work, this Waves of Focus.A guide for those with wandering minds, ADHD, and beyond. This course that I've put together, and I wanna be able to describe it in as short and simple as possible in this episode today. How the heck am I gonna do that?    When you live and breathe something, it can become difficult to say what it's about to someone who doesn't live and breathe that same thing.Sometimes we simply have a vision in our head. It could be a vision of a deck. We're trying to build a memory that came to mind from something that was said, an interesting idea about a story.Whatever it is, it's hard to explain it, and sometimes it's even hard to explain to ourselves.There's this hilarious set of YouTube videos called Crocodile and Cube. I'll link to it in the show notes. In which there's this one character, where he, hears something in his mind, this music, and he wants to create it.And there's this other person that he's working with and they're trying to make sense of it. They're saying, okay, one person tells the story of what they want to hear. The other person tries to put it together, and together they try to bring this out into the world. It's a wonderful metaphor for the parts that can live within ourselves, even.And wandering minds tend to connect with a depth of experience, a reality that feels alive. Words can feel hollow and brittle at times, unless they're really backed up by that sense of reality within them. How do we translate these ideas, these images, these somethings within our mind, into words, into images we can describe to others. and to anything?But somehow we do. Artists, authors, creators, we all practice, define, refine over time, and eventually we come up with maybe not just a single story, but. Many perspectives. Really many stories. Well, anyway, . Enough rambling.What are the Waves of Focus?What are the Waves of Focus? Well, it's really about seven different things, honestly, which is probably why I've had such a tough time explaining it.But I'm gonna break 'em all down here and give 'em to you. One at a time.One - a GoalFirst off, the Waves of Focus is a goal. I've described this transition from being able to move from force -based work to one that is more trust -based, where if we can believe in our own ability to engage things, take things on in our own time, and genuinely believe that, then we won't have to force ourselves to do things.And when we believe genuinely that we can decide and act of our own accord, we tend to find, play and care, these spirits of mastery and meaningful work.And these emotions of play and care as we are able to deliver them and find meaningful work connect them to our lives, our intentions, our relationships. It helps us feel alive.Second - a PhilosophySecondly, waves of focus is a philosophy that when we force ourselves, it's often because we don't trust ourselves. We drop things, we lose things, we forget things. We stumble through the social world and more.We lose trust that we can make things happen of our own will. I mean, why would we? We've proven it that we haven't been able to. As an example, I have to act on this thought. While it's on my mind, I have to drop these other things because otherwise I'll lose it.In this case, we suspend our ability to decide because we don't feel like we can. It's a luxury.We force ourselves through many methods, many, besides the one I just mentioned. Deadlines, shame, sometimes asking others to be reminders, asking them to take on our agency because we feel we have none.But if we could restore that trust in our abilities and our skills, in our sense that we could meaningfully, responsibly, be in tune with our own rhythms, where play and care tend to appear, and that felt genuine.Wouldn't that be wonderful?Trust is a feeling, a sense that something will continue to behave as a has been such that it might be relied on. Trust cannot be forced, cannot be willed into being. It's not a decision.In order to trust ourselves, we have to genuinely believe that we can, for example, set something aside and come back .Trust grows with agency. Agency is our skill and ability to decide and engage non-reactively. It's where and how we take risks, find, challenge, engage what's meaningful.I believe it to be the centerpiece of any meaningful productivity. Not action, not, not even the task. Whether you're looking at sport, study, art, leisure, business, whatever the field, the focus is trust grows with agency. Three - a MetaphorAlright, first the Waves of Focus is this goal of moving away from force and towards trust and self. Second, it's a philosophy that practicing a sense of agency could help us get there.Third, is that the Waves of Focus is a metaphor of experience this boat on the sea of emotions As wandering minds, we struggle with a constrained, but magnified world. We exist in the now and profoundly so.The Now exists. We can't see too far, but what we see is our world, and it looms large. We can explore deeply in this moment and then lose sight of the rest because that is what our lens of consciousness is.The periphery, the Not Now, the distance beyond that now whether weeks or even seconds away, can feel unreal.The storms, the winds, desire, regret, worry, demands, urgency, commitments all hit us that much stronger because The Now is our world, as much as those waves may come in from the Not Now this melding blend of dream, fear and fantasy flowing into the moment.Meanwhile, we must do the things.It can be difficult to deliberately set sail in any particular direction.What if I miss something? I really wanna do this, but I need to do that. I don't have the motivation or the interest. How can I do anything?While we may not trust ourselves, we do trust the power of the winds and waters around us. Urgency, desire, the shiny, the on fire, we can grab onto those.Four - A Set of ToolsSo first the Waves of Focus is this goal moving away from force to trust. Second, a philosophy that our sense of agency is center. Third is this metaphor of a boat in the winds and waters of emotion in which the wandering mind can often feel at the mercy of these elements.Fourth is that the Waves of Focus is also a set of tools that help us manage, that help us sail in this sea.There are quite a number of tools within the Waves of Focus, three of which I'm certain you know very well already and these are the calendar, alerts, and pen and paper, though you can substitute digital files if you'd like.The Waves of Focus gives again a number of additional tools, but three of them probably give it its most unique nature. And these are the anchor, the visit, and the guide. Together with calendar and alerts, pen and paper, these tools create the foundational supports for the Waves of Focus, and they can rest on top of whatever else you use.The Waves of Focus are not meant to supplant whatever system you've got. Whatever you've been building has been built over a lifetime. Some of it works, some of it doesn't. But rather than replace it, it'd be better to build trust where you...

Ever feel lost at the starting line, waiting for motivation or urgency to nudge you into action? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we break through the myth that productivity is just about interest or deadlines and instead explore the deeper role of trust—trust in oneself, in emotions, and in the gentle rhythms of daily life. Discover how acknowledging your questions and fears can open the door to meaningful engagement rather than forceful productivity. Learn to nurture agency as you’d cultivate a delicate plant—growing your ability gently, with care and play, instead of harsh deadlines or rigid routines.Key TakeawaysPractice pausing with kindness to heal the injured trust beneath procrastination and overwhelm.Embrace agency as the starting point for guided growth, letting agency serve as your compass in emotional storms.Replace forceful tactics with playful, mindful rituals that support reliable starts and creative fulfillment.Enjoy this episode’s original piano composition, "Snow," weaving gentle three-four rhythms in C minor—a musical reflection of trust and play in motion.Subscribe now and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for more tools to nurture your wandering mind.Keywords: #ADHD #WanderingMinds #agency #mindfulness #gentleproductivity #trustyourself #creativegrowth #emotionalresilience #playfulfocus #RhythmsOfFocusTranscriptI just can't get started. Oh, but once I can, I'm good to go. It's a familiar refrain from many a wandering mind. Sometimes we work strong. The stars align whether by deadline or unknown, stumble, spark of novelty. Somehow we find ourselves in a deep dive.In the immortal words of the Talking Heads, David Byrne, you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?  Trust over InterestToo often we say it's all about interest or urgency, something shiny or on fire. We throw up our hands and say, "without these we can't do anything."But there's so much more going on than simply interest. Interest, after all, is a deeply complex emotion. In fact, it may be more about an injured sense of trust within ourselves.The word "trust" itself might seem boring. We hear it so often, seems to have lost all meaning. I've said it before, but I'll say it again.Trust is a sense of feeling that something will continue to behave as it has been, such that it might be relied upon.It is a vital, vital concept that creates structure. Even words themselves. Our words exist because we feel that they will continue to behave as they have been within the ecology of the worlds in which we live inside and out.What do I mean by trust when it comes to play and work?A Few ExamplesWell, let's take an example. Let's say you see someone schedule themselves to do a thing from four to 5:00 PM. Four o'clock comes around, they sit down and they do it. What's the magic? It doesn't seem like we can do that. What happens if we don't feel like it? The feeling of even "feeling like it" is deeply complex.Wandering minds often face multiple worries each, and evidence of the loss of trust in ourselves.For example, let's say we try to set something at four o'clock and we might wonder a whole series of questions:how am I gonna feel when that time comes? What will I be in the middle of? Would I be able to stop if I got started? Would I be able to get back if I need to set it aside? Would I even know what to do if I started? And what if I don't? What if other things come up while I'm working? Will I even realize it? Would I miss yet another important matter? What if I run off on a thousand tangents in the meantime? And many other possibilities...Now, this is just about a thing at four o'clock. There's many other types of work, not to mention, balancing various things that we've got going on in our lives. Each of these questions have fears within them.For example, "would I be able to get back to it if I need to set it aside?" Well, here we might wind up creating another pile that's incomplete.Each of these questions have a fear within them, if there weren't, it's because we would already have the trust we needed. The questions themselves wouldn't come up. But the questions as they are unanswered, bog us down, or perhaps we've answered them in some negative sense and we don't even wanna look at them, in which case we can't even engage. Each of these are evidence that this is not just about interest, but of an injured trust in ourselves.Years of experience have taught us that things can go very wrong very quickly. Why start?    Obligations Remain, So We Rely on ForceUnclear of what to do. We still have to make things happen. So until that hope for day that we can engage without fuss or that desire or that urgency or whatever will get us there, we rely on force using methods to induce those sorts of feelings.Maybe we wait for deadlines. Maybe we wait until we feel like it. We hyper schedule our calendar beyond any developed practice. I've already talked about how scheduling one thing can be a problem. Here we make it even worse.Leveraging the shame of past failures, yelling at ourselves verbally through post-it notes, through overburdened task lists. Ask others to remind us giving up our agency, tricking ourselves through hacks like false deadlines that we already know aren't real. Reminding ourselves again and again to "just start" forcing ourselves to stay in it while we're there. Either of those can make it worse for the next time that we wanna start, because those, I don't want our feelings grow even stronger.Each of these are methods of force because we don't trust ourselves.And while these sometimes work, they're often painful, unreliable, and create further problems down the line, including making those, "I don't wanna feelings" stronger.Not the least of which, there's also the problem that when we use these, we effectively tell ourselves that we are untrustworthy because these are the only ways that we've found that work.What We Don't TrustBut what is it that we don't trust? We don't trust that there are other waves of emotion that we can ride, besides urgency.Could we engage if we, for example, don't feel like it. That doesn't mean we ignore those feelings. Quite the contrary, the exercise becomes one of agency: that ability to decide and engage non reactively.Maybe we don't even act. Maybe we decide we don't want to do it. But if we can do that from this place of centeredness, where we've considered the feelings and what's going on, well now we are acting in a place that feels meaningful to us.The injury to trust is also the injury to agency. We scaffold that sense by pausing, that magic button, that most difficult thing, the thing that's hard to remember to do.But once we can try, once we get there, on those rare occasions, perhaps- if we can practice something that feels useful, meaningful, if we can be able to start to nourish those gentle tendrils of trust, maybe in a wave of play or care, we might be that much more likely to pause again, that's the practice. That pause is what starts to heal, or at least answers some aspect of these questions of ability and competency.Bravery in Growing TrustIt takes a certain bravery and we can be brave without being reckless. We don't wanna throw ourselves at a task become yet another method by which we attempt force injure ourselves further. We don't grow a plant by pulling it upwards until it uproots. We don't develop our muscles by benchpressing 300 pounds when we've never done it before.We grow trust as we would something gently through time and care. I tend to use the tools of anchoring, regular visits, a visit guide. These sorts of things that I may mention here and there I talk about in other episodes, it may not be enough to simply tell you that these exist, and the reason is because it takes practice.There's a growth to developing trust in yourself because it's a living thing.The seeds of play, for example, this powerful force for learning mastery, meaningful work- stirs in those windows of challenge, sometimes light, sometimes strong. Too much. We're overwhelmed, too little we're bored.When we can allow ourselves to simply be in that visit with the work where we can walk away at any time, it lets us connect in those deeper emotional levels where the trust needs to build, where those questions I mentioned earlier, all evidence in the tendrils of growth. It helps to better find those windows, those trellis peeking out at the light.For a monotronic, myopic, magnified mind- a wandering mind- either emotion can swallow as whole as strong emotions can.Check out episode 14 for more on how I expand the idea of a monotropic mind. But when we can, let's say leverage play, we can find the root of it as we're sitting there, even if we didn't have it to begin with as we approached, we might be able to find a feedback loop within it.A World OpensWhen we can trust ourselves to find those seeds, the world starts to open up. The heavy fog of impossibility begins to lift. We can not only be on top of our work, we can start more reliably getting to things that matter to us, feel more confidence in our visions and how we develop them and even improve our relationships.We garden that spirit through risk and bravery, and we do so in a kind considered way.Music - "Snow"Staring up to the sky. As the snow falls down, I think we can feel a sense of play between the flakes of snow and the wind. There's something whimsical in the blend of three- four time and a minor key, which is what I think tries to capture this idea. Today's piece of music is called Snow. It's in C...

Feeling swallowed by the waves of overwhelm? In this episode of “Rhythms of Focus,” Kourosh Dini invites listeners on a gentle voyage through the tumultuous sea of starting something new—whether it’s a project, a piece of music, or simply the next small step on the creative path. Rather than pushing for rigid productivity, Kourosh explores the art of recognizing emotions, honoring the body’s signals, and allowing overwhelm itself to become a kind of map, guiding the way toward mindful agency.Listeners will discover:- Why overwhelm arises and how to meet it with self-compassion, especially with a wandering mind or ADHD- How agency isn’t about forcing focus, but about learning to navigate uncertainty and rekindling a sense of play within chaos- Practical micro-strategies to move forward when the tides feel too strongKey takeaways:- Identify the emotional waves beneath overwhelm to turn anxiety into insight- Use imperfect notes and tasks as trail markers, not obligations- Find rhythm and enjoyment by honoring the present moment, rather than chasing an imagined “better way”This episode features an original piano composition in C Minor, echoing the episode’s themes with swirling, heartfelt music. Subscribe and keep steering your own boat at rhythmsoffocus.com—where agency, mindfulness, and the creative spirit set the tempo.#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Overwhelm #FocusStrategies #SelfCompassion #CreativeAgency #EmotionalWaves #Agency #KouroshDiniMentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Agency and trust are vital guiding currents in the sea of wandering minds. Instead of rigid productivity hacks, listeners are invited to chart their own course, embracing mindful practices that nurture self-compassion and creativity.This episode explores:- The hidden dynamics between past, present, and future selves, revealing how trust fuels sustainable change.- Why shame-driven productivity sabotages agency, and how acknowledging "I don’t want to" can heal the cycle of procrastination.- How the simple daily practice of a "visit" transforms tasks into invitations for growth, gently guiding momentum.### Key Takeaways- Replace the pressure of deadlines with the gentle rhythm of a daily invite—paying a mindful visit, then letting go.- Build trust with your future self through repeated, compassionate invitations instead of self-criticism.- Use habit trackers or one-thing lists to support playful mastery and meaningful engagement, one day at a time.This episode features an original piano composition, echoing the theme of growth through rhythm and honoring the wandering nature of the mind. Subscribe and set sail with us at rhythmsoffocus.com—agency and creative potential await.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #Creativity #SelfCompassion #FocusStrategies #HabitBuilding #GentleRhythm #NeurodiversityTranscript The Pressure to Not Break a StreakBeating down the door, maybe haunting our dreams, or at least somewhere in memes there's a mascot of a particular language app.This app, which shall remain nameless, is one I actually rather enjoy, but if I miss a day, I'll lose my streak and there's something of a burden to doing that. I imagine many of us have this sort of similar process of not wanting to break the chain. Is there an alternative?  Chasing PrideWe do a thing every day and the number advances showing that I've added a new number to my streak. Haha, the number's growing. I grow proud.There are, however, at least two occasions where I lost that number. Each time, it was somewhere in the hundreds, and I found much opportunity to practice my glowering in those days.The popular method for creating this habit, if you will, is called "Don't Break the Chain." In essence, it's about doing a thing every day and then adding a tally to it every time. And as the number increases, you grow prouder of yourself and somewhere along the way build a habit. Many apps and admonitions for developing habit encourage this path.Running from Failure and ShameHowever, this method is also one that subtly uses the fear of defeat and consequently shame as motivators. If you happen to miss a day, the counter returns to zero. The worry of impending failure is always there. While we haven't failed yet, the voice that is inevitable is always behind us. Since all things must pass somewhere down the line, the chain will break.What is a Measure?Further, while we may grow proud of that number, there's something to consider in that comment by Goodhart, "when a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure." If I only go for that number, I can feel the stagnation in my learning.But if I take the time to be and experience the words, the sentences, play with them until they feel like they're second nature.Well, now I'm learning, but I also risk not meeting the requirements for that day's tick. In other words, the required milestone of work can stand against my learning.The Thing ItselfSo what's important is the thing itself, whatever it is, we're engaging the task, the hobby, the study, the measure that matters is our experience.I describe a practice of a daily invite, in episode 24. In short, it means to one, decide to be with something, two, be and then three. Do that dailyThe steps can seem quite obvious.However, by separating the components, we can now practice them. We can consider what helps with any of these steps. Also, because there is no number, the loss is not a given. We can reflect on the effect of a missing day. In that reflection, we can better decide whether it would be useful to gently return ourselves to that habit, and then further, let's take that word "habit." Rather than be so harsh, if things miss here and there, we still have a rhythm.One that fades in and out of our lives, weaving itself where it matters most. The importance is the experience, not the number. And because of this difference, we're no longer beholden to a number so much as a developing sense of whatever it is that we're building, both as a thing and in how we relate to it.   "Ascend"As we practice a craft, learn something field of knowledge, there are often a zillion different components to think through.We can't think of everything all at once, . We can't practice them all at once, but we can garden them over time. We practice one bit. See how that goes. Practice another, practice them together. Forget things, let them fade and bring them back. Somehow in the roots and irrigation systems of this underground unconscious, as we do this, ideas start to generalize within the whole field, within the knowledge that we gather, within the skills.Sometimes if we're lucky, it starts blending even into the other words and worlds we inhabit.As I get better with writing music, I might get better with writing words. As I get better at understanding creativity, I might get better at understanding the pains of when that system is blocked in whatever the field as I sit with a client, maybe.The following piece is called Ascend, written in C sharp minor three quarters time.I had originally thought of it as a scene of Devils and Angels arising and fighting each other. Somehow it turned into this title, ascend, eh, not sure what to make of that. Regardless, I hope you enjoy it.   Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Wandering Minds often blame themselves when struggling with time. Instead of painting "time blindness" as a personal flaw, what if our struggles are a natural response to a world obsessed with rigidly measured seconds—rather than meaningful rhythms?There is more to time than simply the clock. We have our own internal time. Rather than force our own natural time into something it is not, how could we instead find a synchronized, harmonic approach, where have our own while still meeting the world where it is?Listeners will learn:Why the traditional clock can feel like a hostile force—and how to find harmony within its structureHow connecting with nature’s own cycles can restore a sense of attunement and easeThe Lighthouse Technique: a practical method for making transitions and cultivating agency, using moments of decision instead of alarms that startle and shameTakeawaysReframe time struggles as differences in rhythm, not deficitsUse “lighthouse” reminders to gently guide transitions, supporting agency and minimizing stressAnchor productivity in meaningful decisions, not force or alarms—tuning in to the natural waves of focusThis episode features an original piano composition, "Aging" in C minor, which musically explores the unfolding of time and its emotional textures. Subscribe and sail with us at rhythmsoffocus.com to nurture your agency and find your rhythm amidst the waves.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Agency #MindfulProductivity #TimeBlindness #LighthouseTechnique #CreativeFocus #Neurodivergent #RhythmsOfFocus #PersonalGrowthTranscript"Time Blindness" as SymptomI got a thing today at 3pm. I can't do anything until then.Wandering minds such as those with ADHD, often struggle with the clock. So many of our troubles seem to deal with time. Hyper-focused due dates, procrastination, scheduling, dealing with a schedule when life hits and things go awry. Hyper-focused time sink, if not wormhole, fearing that time sink, but then it turns out to be something small.All of these have something to do with time.It'd be easy to point at these difficulties and then call them "symptoms," the word synonymous with "something wrong with you." But what if it's not about being wrong so much as it is about being out of sync with this increasingly artificial structure of time that surrounds us.What even is a "second"?  Let's consider a central unit of a clock for a moment. This idea of time being so important to our lives. The second.The second was first considered as this thing, this entity by a Persian scholar, Al Biruni, around the year 1000, as some fraction of the lunar cycle. It's since been defined and refined to further experientially distant concepts, things further away from us.Somehow in our scientific pursuits, we finally landed on something in 1967. The second was defined as the duration of 9,192,631,770 periods of the radiation corresponding to the transition between the two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the Cesium-133 atom. And somehow this fundamental unit of time is how we're supposed to relate to each other.Time is a Matter of NatureWandering minds often do better when in nature. The woods, the beach, the sun, the intense, the calm, all seem to work better within our rhythms there. Nature seems to ease concerns, scatter feelings of being inept, all being replaced with this attunement to the now. This depth of reality, relaxation into being.What's strangely not obvious is that time itself is a matter of nature. It's experienced. Without consciousness, there is no time. Without time, there's no consciousness.Clocks are Human ConstructionsOur culture has adapted, churned, and twisted time to suit itself, much like the rest of nature. We look at seconds, minutes, hours, as if they had substance and they don't.They're a human construct. Representations hollow in and of themselves. As humans, we're much more attuned to those things with which we have some direct experience. The breath, the day, the seasons of the morning, afternoon, evening, the wee hours of the night. Each of these have a much deeper experiential meaning than the seconds of a watch.Our natural waves of focus and emotions crest into consciousness in their own time, swelling, and fading by their own existence.The artificial hands of a clock and the demands they represent often strike through the moment, often creating the very turbulence that we then accuse ourselves of being "symptomatic."Clock Divisions as Buoys in the WaterCertainly the clock has its advantages. it helps us to synchronize as a society. I'd hardly be able to maintain my psychiatric practice, for example, without a clear idea of when I'd meet my next client.We must still interact with this world carved as it is into these odd divisions, but I won't call them correct.They're buoys floating in the waters. These divisions are entities with which I can have a relationship.Beyond time, there's money, there's people, there's the world that surrounds us. We're still responsible for living in it, for finding where we can have a symbiotic, harmonic relationship where we can care and play, and the world would hopefully, willingly support us in turn. No easy feat.But we don't have to say that one measurement is correct while others are not. Rather than accuse ourselves of deficit, we can then wonder how might my rhythms work with those around me? Where can I find some port to meet the world in some time that harmonizes synchronizes with that around me?Aim for Decision, Not TimeSo what do we do? As many of you know, by now, I like to work by this unit of a visit where possible. Check out episode four for details, but the thumbnail is, it's a unit of work where we show up to something, standing at that edge of action where it's as easy to step away as it is to step forward. And we stay there for the single deep breath.At that point, we now have full freedom to reflect and decide about what is in front of us and what it means to us. Whether we decide to set it aside, nudge it forward, or dive in. As the mind flows with a natural rhythm, a wave that cannot be turned on or off with a switch, we might then fear,Hey, there's that thing at three.How could we ever start knowing we might get caught in the rapids? Losing all awareness of other important matters. Alarms start to blare uselessly, as our eardrums seem to have signed off.Many of us use timers, understandably so. In fact, rightfully so. But the fact that we often need to keep turning up the volume on them might say that we're not using them quite right.Where we often fail is that we aim for a time rather than decision. We aim for a time to pull ourselves away, to use some force based method rather than supporting ourselves in our agency. The Lighthouse TechniqueA method I like to use here is what I call a lighthouse technique. At its simplest, it means focusing on a meaningful moment of decision. As an example, let's say you have an hour until the next thing, whatever the next thing is, rather than set the alert for an hour from now, let's say you knocked off roughly 25% of the time.There's a lot more calculations and thinking through as you could go if you wanted to, but I find that to be a good rough number. The idea is that we can acknowledge the transition and more importantly, that decision as to whether we want to make that transition or not.When we've set it up such that we have time, our own time to gradually wind down our thoughts, our feelings, our ideas, the emotions of the work of the now, allow them to rest where they be ready for you to launch easily next time, maybe even consolidate our thoughts for the now, maybe even have time to make it to the next thing and do so smoothly. Well, wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't that smooth the waters? Wouldn't that allow you to have a more meaningful connection?But further is again, that time for decision because now not only can we do all of those things. We can decide, you know what? I'm in a flow and I like where I am. The next thing maybe isn't quite so important. I can call them, I can email them, I can text them. I can let them know, "Hey, I'm on a roll right now. This doesn't work." Or we can acknowledge it to ourselves. We could decide, you know what? I'm gonna hold off. Instead of transitioning smoothly right now, I'm gonna transition roughly later. every moment trading an increasing amount of chaos for the time of the Now.We have that decision now in front of us. We no longer lose that decision.The alert now has meaning it's no longer this hollow clock, and the fact that it connects with something important within ourselves now means that we're much more likely to actually hear it. Whatever we decide to do, even if the default is to simply continue forward.When we respect agency, this central unit, this idea of decision within ourselves, this ability to decide non-reactivity, we start to figure out ways where we can better communicate between our internal time and the one that surrounds us.  Music, Time, and "Aging"Music has an interesting way of dealing with time. It's very medium, is that of time. Listen to what's called a drop in electronic music, dance music in particular, and you'll hear this build this tension that then crashes to this return of the regular rhythm. What created that tension? It's more than just a pitch, although that can often be in it.But the shortening of a beat creates this transition of the nature of time within us. We feel time shift. There's a series of quarter notes that go to

Discover the secret rhythms that guide a wandering mind—especially when the “energy goes poof.” In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, Kourosh Dini dives into the emotional undercurrents that make lists and to-dos feel overwhelming, unraveling the real reasons our energy fizzles out and motivation slips away. Rather than rigid productivity, explore why tuning in to the present moment—like adjusting the strings of a well-loved instrument—fosters lasting agency and self-compassion for adults with ADHD and wandering minds.Listeners will uncover:The hidden emotional loops that sabotage progress with to-do lists, and how to break them.A practical, mindful approach for tuning choices in real time, empowering daily momentum.Key TakeawaysRevitalize your to-do list by updating it as a living tool, not a harsh judge.Reframe frustration as the start of a conversation with your past, present, and future selves.Treat decisions as “sharpening the ax”—practice tuning your actions to the moment rather than pursuing perfection.This episode features an original piano composition, “Winnie,” capturing the spark of creative beginnings.Subscribe to Rhythms of Focus and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to continue your journey toward agency, mindfulness, and a rhythm that’s truly your own.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #DecisionMaking #ToDoLists #DailyRhythms #SelfCompassion #FocusStrategies #PianoOriginalTranscript The Energy Goes PoofUp in the morning, ready and raring to go. I don't know what I'll do yet, but I've got the energy.I know what I'll do. I'll take a look at my list and just start taking things on. Ah, wait. Here we go. Alright. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I already did that. I, I forgot about that. Oh my goodness. The deadline for that one's. Oh my goodness. It this long pass. This is coming right up. What does this even mean?I am horrible at this.Lemme just go lie down for a second and maybe I'll watch something. It'll come to me. I know. I, I, I'll do something.The energy we once had has now gone poof. What just happened?Approaching a ListOne of the biggest mistakes in managing our lists, our tasks, is about how we approach them.There are many task managers out there. I use one myself, OmniFocus, which I've written a book on, it's pretty darn good if I do say so myself. There's things, there's to doist many, many other possibilities including pen and paper, which I also use. All of these promise in some way or another to help you get things done.And you'd think that this promise is that it's linked to somehow it'll tell you what to do. Just tell me what to do already. You want to look at this thing and just have a way to move forward. Why wouldn't we want that?Decisions are heavy. Have a listen to episode 18 if you're interested in hearing about quite how heavy they can be.But of course, we look at that task manager and it never seems to happen. Instead, even when we've poured our heart and soul into some list, hoping, dreaming that we'll be able to focus where we want to or need to, while everything else patiently waits for us to appear at just the right time. Somehow it doesn't work.We meticulously work on it. We delve into some hyper-focus attention tunnel to make that perfect system itself, this meta productivity of sorts. And once we step away though, there it is falling apart. No matter how well we've curated a list, when we get back to it, there are things on there that are still not done seemingly mocking us. There are things that need to be in a completely different order, uh, things that shouldn't be there until something else happens. The wording of things are somehow wrong.Where We Lost TouchWhat's going on? Is it our past self? That's once again betrayed us?Is it our present self that's somehow a failure?Either question is just a way of leading to some more damage of self-esteem by hitting us where we think we should have had it together, but for some mysterious reason, just don't. Whatever motivation we once had is lost.What's truly throwing us off isn't that the paper is somehow wrong, that the way we've written things is off. It's not even a belief that it should be the same.It's how we interpret the emotions that happen as we approach that list. When things are different, when some vision is not where we thought it would be, we hit frustration, confusion, among any number of other feelings.This is the way minds work. Somehow something's appearing differently than we'd hoped, and there's some emotional response to that.But because of so many of the struggles a wandering mind can go through in life- whether we've forgotten things, we've dropped things, we've lost things we've had to try to force ourselves to make things happen- we take that feeling of frustration, confusion, whatever it is that says that things did not go the way we thought they would go and conflate it with failure."It's Not Failure" Is Not EnoughIt's not failure, and I can say that, but trying to practice that is another story. The practice isto recognize that that feeling of frustration is only the beginning of a conversation between ourselves through time, our past, present, and future selves. That is the challenge.Task systems will not line up with reality. The moment we walk away, regardless of how tuned they are, they decay. They fall apart because reality changes while the list doesn't.Secondly, and perhaps even more importantly, as much as we may like it to the task system, the list, these will not make our decisions for us. They won't lighten the load that decisions have other than holding them in place. All the list can do is to now show us what we once thought was important to help make our decisions for the now.Why even have a list?So what's the point? Why even have a list? It seems like it's a whole lot of work for nothing, and some of us do come to that conclusion and toss the thing, just kind of drift and do what comes to mind. Obviously that has its own share of problems.But when we work on that thing in front of us, when we think about our decision in the moment, we are tuning it for the moment. We are trying to make it reflect our reality now, what we want to do, what we need to do, making estimates as to how to get information back to us, when and where it might be useful.In this process, we are in fact doing the work of making an informed decision for this moment.In this way, it's like tuning a guitar. Every time we come to it. We'll need to make some adjustment. We need to listen to it, consider how the sounds fit together, twist the pegs until they have some harmony that we need to have it. Be there for us to help us do something with it. Certainly, the better we get at it, the less time it takes to tune to the moment.The more steady the conditions, the more reliably the guitar or the list might even hold its tune over time. Instead of thinking a list or task should be perfect. We can realize instead that of course it needs to be updated. The world has changed.Our lists are ideas, meaning itself, decays, just like anything else. They're always growing, beginning as seeds, growing and blooming, changing, shifting, adjusting the ecology around it. That realization changes everything.It may seem daunting. Because it is daunting. Freedom is daunting. Decisions have weight, but we are now free.Free to make changes. The list doesn't work for you. Fine. Change the list. What about it doesn't work anymore? What's new?There is a bravery to confronting it because now we see where problems are a little bit more clearly, perhaps. Where have we over promised ourselves? More subtly maybe, we might see where feelings of guilt have resulted in squeezing out things we wanted to do. More positively, we might realize that several ideas can come together into a new single action.It's all about making that solid decision, for this moment. A solid decision is a powerful foundation on which we can take action. I like the Abraham Lincoln quote. Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I'll spend the first four sharpening the ax. Making that decision is a sharpened ax. Working on the list in the moment is the act of sharpening it.  "Winnie" and the Magic of a Fresh IdeaThere's something magical to the freshness of an idea.I had this old comic book by Berkeley Bretford, author of Bloom County and his, uh, lovely characters of Opus and Bill the Cat among others. I remember in the forward of one of these books, uh, he included sketches of his characters early, sort of just pencil sketches, and he said much the same as what I'm saying now, that there's something magical to those first sketches, and really, there was something cool about it, something ah, on fire something, a light, something electric. It's when the ideas are brightest. I think that's part of why we often like to dive into something when the muse strikes.We're not holding onto the words or figures or symbols or images to help us figure out what it is we're talking about.We have some thing in mind, some feeling already there and some inchoate state. Something that we're trying to put into words and paper and whatever. As an audience, we can more directly feel the origin of those waves when we see those thoughts and the like just crashing onto the paper, as undeveloped as they are.This piece of music is early in its creation. There are things I'd change and adjust and move this there and make this louder or...

Exploring Procrastination, Self-Compassion, and Emotional Management with Dr. Fuschia SiroisIn this episode, we delve into the roots of procrastination with Dr. Fuschia Sirois, a professor of social and health psychology at Durham University, who has over 25 years of research experience in procrastination and its relationship to emotions. The discussion covers how self-compassion can play a critical role in managing procrastination, the impact of societal norms on our productivity, and the importance of addressing emotional responses to improve motivation and reduce procrastination. Dr. Sirois introduces her TEMPO toolkit, designed to help individuals manage procrastination by addressing the emotional causes behind it, providing practical strategies and exercises for better emotional regulation. This episode offers valuable insights for anyone looking to understand and overcome procrastination through a compassionate and emotionally intelligent approach.00:00 Introduction: The Mystery of Avoidance01:45 Special Guest Introduction: Dr. Fuschia Sirois02:02 The Procrastination Conference Connection02:36 Understanding Self-Compassion03:51 The Role of Responsibility in Self-Compassion08:46 Cultural Norms and Self-Criticism16:46 Global Perspectives on Self-Compassion27:25 Procrastination and Social Norms Research28:39 Generational Differences in Procrastination29:14 Self-Perception and Social Norms30:07 Financial Procrastination and Its Impact32:26 Introducing TEMPO: A New Tool for Managing Procrastination33:35 Understanding and Addressing Emotional Roots of Procrastination39:59 The Role of Perfectionism and Creativity49:39 Planning, Risk, and Self-Compassion52:02 Defensive Pessimism and Contingency Planning54:41 Conclusion and ResourcesTagsProcrastination, Self-Compassion, Emotional Intelligence, Productivity, Mental Health, Overcoming Perfectionism, Personal Development, Behavioral Psychology, Mindfulness, TEMPO Toolkithttps://fuschiasirois.com/https://durhamuniversity.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eJzXFb6SBwNPI46https://www.youtube.com/@fuschiasirois601  Introduction: The Mystery of Avoidance What is it that makes us avoid the thing to do? Is it the fault of social media? Are we inherently lazy? Is there just something wrong with me? Well, what if I were nice to myself? Would that do something, and how could I even do that in some way that I felt genuine? Would that do anything?  Special Guest Introduction: Dr. Fuschia SiroisDear listeners, I've got another special treat for you today. We're joined today by my special guest, Dr. Fuschia Sirois. Fuchsia's, a professor in social and health psychology at Durham University, with over 25 years of research in procrastination and its relationship to emotions.We'd connected actually at the procrastination conference in Utrecht, Netherlands, in the summer of 2025.A lovely city, by the way. Understanding Self-CompassionAt the end of one of the lectures, sitting in the audience, she had made this comment about self-compassion, and that self-compassion shows up in recognizing responsibility, taking it on, and maybe the pain that can come with that. That's where self-compassion really starts to shine. I thought, I get it. This makes sense.So later on that day, I approached her, had a conversation with her, and she really had this way of, um. Recognizing the importance of emotion, not just in procrastination, which is her field of research, but really in who we are.Again, it really resonated, and I said to myself, I've gotta have her on the show. So here we are. We had this wonderful conversation spanning from individual to societal, from the creative task to the concrete task, and much more. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.Here it is. Today, we've got, uh, uh, Fuchsia Sirois on the podcast today. Am I pronouncing your name correctly, by the way?Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah.Oh, wonderful. Fuschia, Fuschia I met in, um, uh, at the, the procrastination conference in just, we had recently in 2025 and in summer, and we may have met even earlier that Did you go to the procrastination conference that was in Chicago? I can't remember if you.No, I didn't get to that one. Unfortunately. I was sort of not. I really wanted to go, but I think I was in the middle of moving or something, and I wasn't able to come. The Role of Responsibility in Self-Compassion Ah, okay. Very good. So this was our first time meeting then. Fuscia is a, uh, a, a social health, um, psychologist at, uh, Durham University. Um, and, uh, professor there. And, um, what got me going was I, with, with fuchsia, I think, uh, we were sitting at, in a lecture and, uh, at the procrastination conference, and you had said something that just kind of struck me, which was about the relationship between self-compassion and recognizing your own responsibility. Do, do you remember something about this?I think it, it was maybe, if I'm remembering the correct instance, I think it was around the idea that, um, with self-compassion, really doesn't kick in. It doesn't actually, it's. It's not activated until people are struggling with something, until they're realizing, you know, coming face to face with their own personal shortcomings or flaws or difficulties, you know?Um, it's not like you walk around going, Oh, I'm being self-compassionate. Like that's just. You can be self-loving and self-kind, but self-compassion is kind of a bigger package, and it is a response to difficult, challenging, stressful situations. So, as a response, there has to be something to trigger it. Um, yeahI love that way of looking at it. Yeah. And that's, that's where, uh, yeah, that's totally what it was. And, I think it was in the context of that, recognizing personal responsibility, recognizing like your own sense of, oh, I'm, I'm there, there's something about this I gotta take on, some charge I gotta take on, and how difficult that might be.And that's where a good component of that self-compassion kicks in.Right. Yeah. I see what you mean by responsibility because yeah, if something. Where there's, you know, so easy when we make a mistake to kind of be in denial, right? Or to kind of go, yeah, that's not on me. That's because of other circumstances and all that. Um, but yeah, once you take responsibility for it, you're right.And kind of go, right, I screwed up. Right? Or I could have done this differently.Yeah.Um, that would've, would've led to maybe less difficult circumstances for myself and others. So once you're right, when that responsive part of that is responsibility, sometimes not always responsibility, but that is one way of looking at it, the acknowledgement of that responsibility is, is difficult.And that can be a good opportunity then to sort of practice self-compassion instead of, you know, often people do the other way, which is, oh, what's the matter with me? I'm, I messed everything up. And, you know, going to the extreme of responsibility, which, you know, psychologically, um, to me is like blame, right?Like it's, it's taking, it's going too far with it to a point where you're just sort of wallowing in those self-critical thoughts, uh, for the sake of doing that. But it's actually not very productive in terms of changing behavior or coming to new realizations about oneself.absolutely. No. That part of you that can really, um. Seems to think that we can fix things, get better about things through, uh, through whipping ourselves in some way, shape, or form. You know, like if we just whipped ourselves hard enough, maybe we'll fix it, you know? And doesn't seem to work.No, no. It backfires, and, and, and you know, it might work for a very small percentage of the population, I would suggest. I think for many it backfires and there's also a significant. Proportion of the population for which it actually does quite, it's quite harmful. It backfires and, and, and sort of can, um, get you into a further downward spiral orAbsolutely. And, the other thing that you bring up here, and this is all in context of, um. Procrastination, but I think it even grows broader than that. You know, it's like, it's really about, um, uh, you know, in the context, one of the things I appreciate is this, how you relate procrastination and that relationship with oneself.You know, that, that, um, that self-compassion idea that, um, that something you're, you're hinting at, there is that habitual aspect of beating yourself up. That, that like. You really need to, uh, there's a practice in catching yourself in doing that, and then trying to figure out, okay, now what? Now what do I do so that I'm not doing this?You know, because it's easy to beat yourself up for beating yourself up, if that makes sense, you know, orYeah. Exactly, so that meta level of self-criticism.Yeah. Yeah. So what are your thoughts on that? How do you, how, how does one, I don't know if habit is the right word, but it's something along that automatic level. Where does, where does that come in? How do you start to introduce the idea of, I don't need to be automatic in this, and what can I do differently?Does that make sense?You mean in terms of sort of your response to difficulties.Yeah. Yeah. Cultural Norms and Self-Criticism I mean, it's a great...

Ever felt your mind swept clean, like cobwebs brushed away, simply by admiring true craft? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, I invite you to explore how the art of meaningful work—whether in a beautifully designed board game, a shared conversation about football, or the deliberate crafting of music—can nourish even the most wandering minds. We’ll journey into “The Unconscious Mind” board game as a living metaphor for navigating the playful, intricate decisions woven through daily life.You’ll discover:How appreciating and creating craft—and noticing its layers—can provide sustenance and grounding for adults with ADHD or restless focusWhy “the confusion barrier” is a vital threshold in learning and creativity, not a flawNew ways to recognize meaning and resonance in everyday moments, from the symbols on a board to a fleeting improvisationPlus, this episode features an original, never-to-be-repeated piano improvisation: “Morning Bird”—a gentle musical reminder that mastery and play grow together.Subscribe and explore more at rhythmsoffocus.com—reclaim your focus, your rhythm, and your creative spark.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #BoardGames #Mastery #MeaningfulWork #Neurodivergent #PianoImprovisation #ResonanceTranscript Clearing the Mental CobwebsA colleague once told me that when she'd look at a piece of art, she'd feel the cobwebs of her mind swept away. I find the same thing happens when I admire any real craft- a fine meal, an expert dancer's, effortless appearing feats, a well-made fountain pen, drifting across quality paper.All of these we can feel. All carry that depth of play and care brought through time. This practice of bringing the spirits of mastery and meaningful work through some development into a bloom. Particularly for wandering mind, I find that mastery, meaningful work can be nourishing.Football   I was once at a party finding myself in a room entirely full of men. I only say that because you kinda get this feeling of the masculine energy in a room. They were all shouting periodically at a television screen, watching this football game.Now I know the rules of the game. I have a sense as to what's going on, but it's never really turned me on. Last time I watched with any real interest was the Super Bowl, 20 Chicago Bears as the Super Bowl shuffle was playing on the radio near nonstop.Other than that, when I encounter such environments, I generally slink into the corner, maybe look for some task to relieve me like getting a snack or maybe tidying the place up. But if neither of those are available, I wait for the pain of boredom to subside into some world of daydream or solving puzzles that come to mind, or something like that.On this particular occasion, though, things were cleared, dishes were done. I was tired of the gummy beers sitting there, which says a lot.For whatever reason, between those synchronized shouts, I turned to the gentleman beside me. I made deliberate eye contact, not an easy feat, and asked , what do you enjoy about this game?And he paused as I knew he would. You know, it's not often I was aware for someone to ask such a pointed and odd question perhaps. I decided to search for craft. "What do you enjoy about this game?"With a little more than a pause. Maybe sensing that sincerity, he began to talk about the battle on the field, the nuance of strategy, the importance of the individual players and their own histories. He thought about his own relationship with his family and his youth, and how they would share the game together.His excitement was palpable. I enjoyed hearing him out. He'd even lose a couple of seconds in that synchronized shouting as he continued to explain certain moments, seeing that I was there with him. And I could follow and appreciate the beauty that he saw behind the strength on the field.Now, I still don't watch the game. I have other interests. I have other things going on, but I appreciated the gift he offered.It reminded me of someone's comment about relationships. If your partner's into basket weaving, you don't need to be into basket weaving, but you do need to be into the fact that they are into basket weaving.Not a Paid Advertisement - The Unconscious MindAnd so just as he shared with me, I'd like to share something with you so long as you're up for it. Of course. Now this following bit is not a paid advertisement, but I do get into it.I was on this trip overseas and I was at the Freud Museum. I found this board game called out to me.It's called the Unconscious Mind. How could I resist?What makes for a good game?I do love a good board game, but what makes for a good board game?They are these restrictions of reality. These playgrounds of the mind built with the Lego blocks of decision. The more meaningful the decisions, the deeper the consequences of thought, the more profound the gameplay itself. Within games, We play with the structure of decision itself. Whether we're dealing with the emotions as they flow into us quickly like on the sports field, or we have a moment to sit and think like chess. We explore, push and pull through confusion and assertion. We gather our working memory to hold multiple possibilities, decide and then act.And then if you're anything like me, you wonder why the heck did I just do that?Looking at the box of this game, this Unconscious Mind, I wondered, is this another cash grab? Some light connection of theme to some poor gameplay. But no, I found craft.After purchasing it, putting it in front of me. I look at it. I look at the art. The pieces are well portrayed. It's clear that the artists cared about their craft and how they would present the material beyond simply just covering of the pieces. They meant something.A Representation of DreamPart of the game is about curing patients. There are these cards that are dreams, but not just dreams themselves. They're latent and manifest dreams. These are real concepts in psychoanalysis, and they find a way into the gameplay itself. A manifest dream. That's the stuff that comes to mind when you're dreaming the latent is what you can meaningfully interpret from it.Now this is a point of some contention within psychoanalysis. I, I think some people look at it and say, Hmm, what do dreams have to do with anything? You know, what does the interpretation have to do with anything? Are they right? And I'd point out that that question of. Are the interpretations right to be a wrong question in and of itself?A better question is the same as with any interpretation I make in sessions with clients, which is, "does it resonate with you?" Does it connect to you? Do you feel something within you When we talk about whatever, when we look at whatever, and the same thing can be said about Dream.One mentor of mine nicely described dreams like paintings. He said, you can return to them. Discover new ideas, new themes, new meanings. You might even create meanings in the act of interpretation. After all, psychoanalysis is much less about, "Hey, look at that thing I found in your head" so much as it is about learning to author your life going forward.looking at these clients in the game, you work their way through those dreams, generating insights. There are different units of insights. There's three types and three levels. It's almost laughable how much detail there is. But what's truly funny is that it all makes sense within the scope of the game. There's actual connection between theme and mechanic.You've generate enough of those insights in the right configuration, and you can remove this clear plastic layer that's over the card. It has the sort of Rorschach image to it that represents grief, and as you remove that, this neat mechanic, starts coming into place, which is not only does the client change, but now so have you, whether in the game mechanic of what happens with the ideas as they form or in the final scoring of the game.Wincott another analyst from the, uh, sixties or so, he wants nicely wrote in his forward of one of his books that he thanked his clients for teaching him, and he's right. The moment you stop learning from your patients is the moment you stop being a good doctor.The fact that this theme is woven so nicely into the gameplay tells me that designers have not only done their homework, but they've probably enjoyed the process of doing so. You know, without care play, I'm not sure there is any soul to a craft.A Reflection in HistoryIt goes further in the point of the game. You know how you win.There's this representation of how you earn points, and that comes from the history of psychoanalysis. Freud would gather with his colleagues and friends to discuss psychoanalysis and where it was going and what it was about every Wednesday. He made rings for the crew. Kind of silly, uh, totally cringe, but totally relatable too.And to win in the game, you gather points through influence, you gather in treating patients, doing research, writing papers, all in the interest of becoming this distinguished colleague of Freud's. Again, totally irritating and goal, but as also seemingly resonating. True and hilarious. I love it. The theme of the game runs even deeper.A NotebookIn the center, you have this notebook. Every player gets this ink pot to use as a marker. This lovely little fidget, to boot, that represents what aspect of the notebook you're working with when connecting to your patient. And you build that notebook with ideas placed at various intervals, each having its own effect, and you can modify them with units of coffee.My daughter pointed out, she...

Ever feel like your creativity is both a gift and a juggler’s challenge—especially when you’re navigating the winding paths of ADHD or a wandering mind? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we’ll explore how confusion is vital in creativity and how, by embracing it, you can uncover mastery, meaningful work, and joy along your journey.Discover:Why passion is more than a flash of excitement—it’s the steady, nurturing rhythm beneath mastery and meaningful work.The powerful role confusion plays in creative growth (and why learning to “hold” it can lead to breakthrough insights).How daily rhythms of engagement—not rigid productivity hacks—can transform decision overload into meaningful flow.Takeaways:Learn strategies for befriending confusion, using it as a stepping stone rather than an obstacle.Practice the “daily visit” approach to creative work, supporting your mind’s natural curiosity and growth.Recognize moments when play turns into overload, and discover gentle ways to restore clarity and self-compassion.Plus, this episode features an original piano composition—“Flagrant Air Biscuit”—capping off our exploration with musical playfulness.Subscribe to Rhythms of Focus and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for more episodes, resources, and inspiration fostering mindful, agency-driven creativity.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Creativity #Confusion #MindfulProductivity #PlayfulFocus #MasteryJourney #MeaningfulWork #DailyRhythms #PianoCompositionTranscriptWhat about Passion? Challenge, interests, novelty, urgency, passion. These are often considered five grounding ideas for a wandering mind as Dr. Dodson once mentioned.But I find that passion is not often talked about. It's about mastery, meaningful work, craft skill, and exploration over time, when we feel that we are developing mastery and meaningful work in our lives, there's a sense of regular engagement, motion, this organizing foundation to our days. It helps bring the inner critic to a quieter place. The seas seem more settled.On the other side of it too, what we create. I think there's a phrase for it, which is "good work". So how do we foster good work?  On Writing a Good BookA listener recently wrote to me about my writing process. He read my book, Taking Smart Notes with DEVONthink. He thought it was a good book. Several people have told me so. If I may be so bold, I think it's a good book, too.So the question then is how do you write a good book? It's really the same question that goes into doing anything you try to do well.My answer, which I gave to this listener and which I liked enough to save for this podcast, was that I dragged notes from DEVONthink, this file management and note management software into Scrivener, this software for writing, and then cut up those notes, rearrange them, look for commonalities between pieces, see if some structure starts to arise, and then realize it doesn't work or it's boring, or I've said the same thing multiple times.I don't know where to cut. The order of parts is plain wrong, and so sometimes I scream, sometimes even internally. Then I go to sleep. Then the next morning, something new comes to mind. I write that material, realize I now have more to cut and edit, scream again, rearrange the stuff, try it all again, sometimes in that order.At some point my internal compass says, dude, that's enough. So I slap a price tag on it, put it up for sale, and have a panic attack, and then you have a book. Sometimes it's a good book.The short answer, however, is that I've learned how to handle confusion. I've learned how to hold confusion, and that is a vital skill for a wandering mind, particularly when you want to find mastery and meaningful work. Good work.Creativity, Play, and the Wandering MindWandering minds are often wonderful at creating things. They're the master Lego builders. They take apart the instructions and say, oh, let me see what I can build myself. They often have this incisive wit. They see things, others don't. They can have this powerful curiosity ready to mine new discoveries.They are creative.And what does creativity, other than this discovery of what you're making and the act of making it? We play and care nourishing this creative tendril into mastery and meaningful work.Play is this essence of creativity, a connection and exploration between self and world. Cultivated well, it's this reactive, creative, laughing, sometimes timid, sometimes bold, appearing most often when conditions are favorable. But when it arrives, it fights for its existence and brings this needed vitality to genuinely engage our surroundings.But play doesn't happen on its own. Often we struggle through confusion.An Overabundance of CreativityWandering minds often have this overabundance of some emotion distorting the lens of consciousness, as I mentioned in episode 14. This distortion often creates the problems we have, and sometimes that emotion can be play itself.Play can often appear when we feel safe from demands and from the like. Risks are somehow okay if not inspiring, meeting us in this window of challenge.When we get interrupted though, by demands, by questions, by lack of clarity, we lose some of that sense of safety. We might not be able to trust our environment. We may not be able to trust ourselves to support the seeds of play.We grow bored, overwhelmed, frustrated, anxious, all the things that threaten that playful self. The trouble that a wandering mind can encounter is that the play itself can interrupt us.I am engaged in flow here, but what about that? What if I organize this better? What if I found this better tool, this app? What about this thought? This reminds me of that. Where do I start?Juggle enough of these and exhaustion seeps in. Soon enough, we collapse on the couch where decisions can be made for us by one screen or another. The play itself created a decision overload, leaving us in confusion, unclear of the next direction.Sitting in silent suffering, that pain of potential unrealized, we can't simply say, "well, I guess I won't be confused, how if I'm just not?" Or we might say, "I'm, I'm just gonna go that way."But then we leave behind this important part of ourselves and the sense of emptiness follows in the wake. In order to find that play and care, we need to engage with a fuller sense of self. We need to bring that part of us with us. We must hold onto the confusion because it is a part of us. And it may even be a part of us that's trying to say something important.Listening to ConfusionConfusion's an odd duck. Sometimes it appears subtly. We might easily allow it to pass by in conversation or in reading.Sometimes we don't even realize we've been confused. The mind simply goes poof, such as when we get lost in conversation or when we're reading the same passage over and over.Confusion can also be brash, heavy handed, completely dumbfounding us, unable to move forward.Whether it's subtle or brash, the intensity of that confusion may not reflect the depth of importance behind it.What appears to be some small inconsistency, it's really this crack belying, this massive gorge underneath. I may have stumbled into something deep, larger than my current understanding even allows to fully acknowledge.On the other hand, what appeared to be a complete mess. Might only be a trick of the light. I push this one tiny piece and everything falls into place.What Even is Confusion?What is confusion? Well, I think we need to start with working memory. Working memory is the contents of consciousness. It's not just some number of things we can remember. When we hold multiple things in mind, we can't help but weave some meaning between them. And in so doing, we create the singular object with several parts.It's not just holding seven plus or minus two items together, as some might say, it's about some singular item or some small number of items that are rhythmically bouncing in and out of conscious awareness. And when two things don't connect a cloud of probability forms, things can connect this way, things can connect that way or not at all.And these considerations themselves are not entirely conscious. In fact, I would posit mostly not conscious.And that new probability cloud, that feeling of confusion is now one more object for your mind to juggle.For a wandering mind, our focus tends to rest in the smaller constricted, though magnified place. The sensation, the emotions grow large. Further, they take up a lot of space. Psychic RAM, effort, or whatever unit of description you want to use.Painful as confusion can be, sometimes stimulating feelings of shame, irritation, and the like. These build on that sense of confusion and the scatter can grow. It's no wonder we might have that feeling of wanting to run away, find somewhere, anywhere that has us feeling productive, engaged, and meaningful in some other direction other than, oh my goodness, this one right here, right now, because I can't take it.We might hope that some cloud of confusion would just take care of itself. Maybe the author will explain away whatever problem I'm having, if I can only make it there. But they also might not. In fact, by ignoring or pushing that sensation away, might even be losing an important point of discovery, engagement, something that would mean something to ourselves.When we can rest our mind in that confusion, much like any emotion, we start to develop associations, the meaning behind it, the cracks in the confusion. The places where we realize, "wait, I know

We often focus on “information overload”, but we’re often more caught in decision overload.Discover the deeper reasons behind that compulsive scrolling and indecisiveness, and learn how moments of mindful pause can help you reclaim your agency and bring relief to your wandering mind. Here’s what you’ll uncover: • The hidden connection between decision-making, emotion, and the experience of overwhelm for ADHD and creative thinkers • Why seeking relief, rather than just a dopamine hit, drives compulsive behaviors—and how to channel that toward agency • A practical anchoring technique to hold options in mind and lighten decision fatigue, even in the busiest momentsKey Takeaways: • Learn the anchor technique in brief • Identify the emotional undercurrents behind your toughest choices, rather than blaming “willpower” • Practice settling into silence after considering your options, building the clarity you need to move forwardAnd as always, enjoy an original piano composition, “Veranda,” inspired by the rhythms of thought and the calm that emerges when scattered moments coalesce.For more mindful agency and creative flow, subscribe and join us at rhythmsoffocus.com.LinksResources & Links • Podcast Home: Rhythms of Focus • Waves of Focus Course: wavesoffocus.com • Author: kouroshdini.com • Anchor Technique on YoutubeKeywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #decisionoverload #mindfulfocus #agency #creativity #anchoring #emotionalclarity #productivity #originalmusicTranscript Information vs Decision OverloadWe're not in a state of information overload. We're in a state of decision overload. What does that even mean?Looking for Relief  "Uh, I can't even get off TikTok or Instagram or any of these things."We have so many things coming at us. We're looking at so many different ideas and jumping from one thing to the next, trying to figure out what's the next best thing?Scrolling through our phones, we can wonder, okay, is it dopamine again? And as I've described elsewhere, we tend to use dopamine as this metaphor for those things we can't control, this button embedded somewhere in our brains connected to sex and food, hijacked by present day technologies.But drifting off somewhere into these things that stimulate our minds- it's not new. The internet's just the most readily available latest thing. The ancient game of Go, this fantastic game that dates back thousands of years, once referred to "Go widows", the wives of husbands whose entire days were consumed by the game.Look at a picture of people on a train from years ago, and you'll see most if not all of them, with their faces buried in newspapers. It's not just dopamine. If we stay with that word, we tend to lose meaning. We're not just looking for that quick hit.We're also looking, I theorize here for relief.What from? Relief from decision."Where do you wanna go for dinner? I don't know. Where do you want to go? Can't someone just decide?"Decisions are heavy. It's nicely pointed out by author Charnas, in his book Work Clean, the word "decide" shares its origins with "homicide" and "suicide." The word means to cut. We examine a ball of options and then cut. The decisions quicken when we engage in some related action.This is by no coincidence, quite related to how I define "agency," and you might wanna listen to episode nine for more on that.But as we cut off options, we lose fantasies of what could have been. To decide well, we need to mourn the loss, taking the time that mourning takes, recognizing the pain, giving it the time it takes.Many small decisions are barely even noticeable in terms of that mourning a moment or two, if that, for small matters. But there is some time involved.Every time we make a decision, we walk into unknown and possibly risky territories. Whether we're deciding on dinner, considering what to watch next, or making some major life decision, we are weighing risk and loss.Without either of these, risk or loss, we wouldn't have a decision. We would simply act without even knowing a decision were there. But if we look at it even more deeply, decision's not only about cutting. There are those who act impulsively, who seemingly make decisions, never look back. Maybe they're calloused against these feelings of sorrow and regret.I would prefer my decisions to be well made.Interestingly, while the origin of the word "decision" involves cutting, another important meaning evolves somewhere in the late 14th century, at least according to the internet:SettlingIn one sense, settlings about settling a dispute.You have these two different things, people, ideas, battling out, and where do things settle? Does one side go this way? Does one side go that way? Is there a compromise? Is there some synergy?We can take the word beyond that idea though, because it does involve even the battle of ideas within one's own mind. I see settling as this means to achieve a type of "silence" where we can acknowledge everything that can be acknowledged perhaps about a decision, at least for this moment.You see behind options, behind words, behind the logic are the winds and waters of the mind. Emotion that which crests into and forms consciousness is emotion. Our sense of being that little boat that floats on the sea of emotions only forms in the moments of awareness and decision.At least from one neuropsych analytic point of view, consciousness only exists for decision. And to decide, we wait, we pause, we sit with those thoughts, sensations, feelings, anything else that can come to mind about that experience, that decision, we allow it to come to mind.We pause and wait.And when we do, that information gradually becomes less and less new. It starts to still, it starts to repeat. Nothing new comes to mind about the situation, about that decision.My goodness. That takes work. Not only does it take work, it takes courage. It takes bravery.I mean, do we really want to face these feelings and these ideas that can come to mind? What if I'm thinking about the projects I'm not doing? What about the family I haven't called? What about that shameful thing I did or said last week, last month, 20 years ago that still haunts me? What if I think about death and mortality? What if I think about the people I'm letting down around me? What does any of this have to do with deciding on what to have for dinner?Wouldn't it be a relief to not have to decide or at least have decisions that are lighter? Even better make the decisions trivial, artificial, chewing gum.Clicking on the next thing to watch, nicely organized so it doesn't overwhelm my working memory. Hey, I saw that funny bit a little while ago. I'll click on that.So I argue it's more than dopamine. It's relief.For wandering minds, ADHD, the exhausted the brain fog, the creatives and the like. Were often consumed in the moment, magnified and constricted in the now. Our emotions are themselves magnified, often crowding out the others, if not leaving us with some confused conflation of multiple emotions as they throw out one thought sensation and more after the next.To make a decision, let alone a settled decision, is that much harder.It's no wonder that so many wandering minds fall into the social media, into the games, into more, where all the decisions are nicely laid out. We sense a relief from the heavier weights of decisions, those that mean something deeply.The decision not only of the moment, but of the work to do of the things we're not doing and well beyond. Decisions are heavy. They are what create us. They take power to wield an exercise of free will itself. We delegate decisions to others, asking them to remind us about things, not only because our attention doesn't hold them, but because we reduce having to consider our options.It's also no wonder that those with ADHD complaint of lacking quote, willpower end quote. But if we look at it from this perspective of trouble and decision and not in action, we have a new vantage. We can support our ability to make a decision.When we make a decision, we have multiple options that we then cut away.We hold these options in mind before we cut them away. But the trouble for a wandering mind is that this work table is constricted. Many things can knock it off quite easily. Any emotion can make it such that we forget one thing or lose the other thing and act impulsively here before we forget. Say I've gotta do that thing before I lose it.Using a very simple technique, we can support holding these options. I call it anchoring and essentially it's this: taking out a piece of paper, writing down our options, not tasks, but our options of what we'd like to do, only for that moment, for this moment of the Now. Doing this freeze, the mental energy that is used to hold the options and now is available to make the decision itself.There's a lot more to it than that, but that is the essence of it. I do get into it in quite a lot of detail, a couple of hours worth in my course, Waves of Focus. I've also put a brief video about it on YouTube that I'll add to the show notes.Even more deeply, though the essence is again about supporting that sense of...

Have you ever wished a hack or clever trick could spark your momentum—only to watch it fade just as quickly? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we gently unravel why shortcuts can undermine our confidence and how true agency is built on self-trust and mindful practice, not fleeting novelty.Join me as we explore the honest path to sustainable motivation for adults with ADHD and wandering minds. You’ll discover why “faking it” or relying on tricks often sabotages our systems and how deep, rooted confidence grows from repeated, intentional practice. Together, we’ll navigate:- The hidden costs of tricks, hacks, and novelty-seeking in our personal systems- How genuine trust in oneself—not force or self-deception—lays the groundwork for true confidence- The transformative power of embracing gentle, manageable risks as part of everyday growthKey Takeaways:- Recognize why relying on hacks often erodes your sense of agency- Practice building trust in yourself through small, consistent actions (“daily visits”)- Embrace gentle risks as stepping stones to confidence and masteryThis episode features my original piano composition, “Running on the Sun”—a musical frame for the hopeful risks we take in growth.If you find this episode resonates, subscribe and explore more resources at rhythmsoffocus.com. Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #SelfTrust #DailyPractice #GentleRisk #Confidence #Neurodivergent #IntentionalLivingTranscript I just don't feel like it. If I only had a hack, if I had a trick, if I had something novel, a new, something different, that'll, something just gets me to start. Ah, once I start, I'm good.The trouble with these approaches, it's not that they don't work, it's sometimes they do. Ultimately the seeds of the destruction of our systems are there, in the beginning of these sorts of approaches where we've just found some trick. We lead ourselves down some destructive path, something that will eventually fail.Why does that happen? How does that happen? And then what does work?What's wrong with tricks and hacks?What's wrong with a trick or a hack? Why can't we just make these things happen so that we can start and make ourselves work. Well one trouble is that they often rely on some novelty of some sort, and novelty by definition will fall apart. And perhaps we argue so long as we can keep this roulette wheel of novel possibilities around, we'll be good.Okay, look, if that works for you, wonderful. Please go right ahead and do it.The trouble I have though is that I find that trying to trick my unconscious , that part of me that's deep, it doesn't work. It knows already that it's not going to work. Essentially, it goes into this conversation of,"Well, if I somehow manage to trick myself into showing up, chances are I might even do something. And I don't wanna do something, and so I won't even try."So the approach in this way would fall apart immediately.But even in the case that we do succeed in tricking or forcing ourselves, the trouble is that we've effectively told ourselves that we cannot do things without tricks or force. In this way, tricks rot our systems. Trust is FoundationalTrust is the foundation of any relationship, and most importantly, with the relationship that we have with ourselves. Psychoanalyst Eric Erickson notes the first task of infant development is Trust versus Mistrust. We try to know what we can rely on, and that goes well beyond infancy into our everyday world.Trust, as I'm defining it, is a developing belief that something will continue to behave as it has been, such that we can rely on it.As I tend to do, I like to repeat my definitions and I know I've presented trust before, but I'm gonna do it again. Trust is a developing belief that something will continue to behave as it has been behaving, such that we can rely on it.If we look at that idea of developing belief , it means that it's forming over time. That it's a belief, means that it's resting somewhere in our experience. It's a feeling that we can reflect on. It's not something we can wish into existence.ConfidenceThis idea of trust is fundamental, and this relationship of trust with ourselves, that's where we get into the word confidence. Confidence is a trust in our skill or ability within ourselves. By definition, confidence cannot exist without that trust in ourselves. And for this reason, at the very least, I find the suggestion to "fake it till you make it," causes me to wretch not only with a disgusted sense of irresponsibility, but also with this admonition that we need to be dishonest with ourselves in order to grow.Tricks Undermine TrustWhen we engage a trick, we tell ourselves we do not trust ourselves. We do not believe that we can do a thing from our own sense of volition, undermining, and further injuring ourselves every time we use that trick. We collude in the decay of not only our systems, but our own sense of confidence.Tricks cannot last because fundamentally for us to gain any real traction, to have a sense that what we're doing is meaningful, engage from some depth of self and agency, we need to be able to do so from a sense of honesty and trust with ourselves.Hope vs PracticeThe question becomes "how do we learn to trust ourselves to make a decision and then engage? How can we approach something, something we may not want to do, for example, in a way that feels genuine?"We might have hope that we can develop that trust. We might hope for that ability and that confidence. Now, the answer, a pithy answer, but still the ultimate answer is practice.Beyond hope, in order for us to have a chance at developing that trust in ourselves and our abilities, we can look again at trust's definition, that sense that something will continue to behave as it has been such that we can rely on it.When we experience something, for example, that I can play the piano, that I can write a newsletter, that I can handle rejection, and more- sometimes that experience helps us develop that tendril of confidence.So what if we then deliberately arrange ourselves, arrange our environments such that we can have those experiences?And if we could do that regularly, well then that would build in time forming a genuine confidence, one that resonates deeply.Taking on RiskBut there is no true hope without risk. Every real stretch beyond what we trust involves risk. In other words, risk is the leading edge of confidence of that trust in ourselves.We don't have to be reckless. We can be calculated, but somewhere there is risk. When we go out on a trip somewhere, we haven't been, when we work up the courage to ask the boy or girl out, when we try reaching for that new ledge, it's through that challenge where we gain the experience. We risk falling on our faces.And as we do something again and again, hopefully- it doesn't always happen- but hopefully we start to grow that trust in our own skills and our knowledge. Also known as confidence.In this way, I think it makes it clear that that recommendation to "just be confident" rings hollow because it is hollow. It must be developed through time and repetition, the very foundations of practice.If you're engaging in some daily visit, as I often recommend, this is the medium of practice. Something where you show up, stay for only the moments where you can genuinely say you are there, maybe just for a single deep breath- you start to develop that trust between the past you that said, Hey, I'm inviting you to make a visit, to that future self that was then, to the present you that is now, that's now making that visit.In that visit now, and here's the takeaway, i'd say maybe can you take that next step and ask yourself, what's the gentle risk I can take here?"Running on the Sun"I find art, music, or otherwise to be a framing of an experience. We basically point at a thing using a frame and say, "Hey, look at this thing."Often as I'm writing some piece of music, I'll wonder what does this resonate with? What? What is this frame? Of course it's something within me. It came from me, but hopefully it's something within you, too.And for that to be the case, there has to be something universal to it. Something universal in its nature.This piece that I'll play for you now is called "Running on the Sun." It's about the flares that I see in the pictures of the sun, somehow that just comes to mind. But running on the sun? That sounds kind of risky, doesn't it? I'm not sure I'll get much out of taking that risk either, but eh, whatever. In any case, it's written in E flat minor, and I hope you enjoy it. Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

The Power of Doing NothingCould there be power to “doing nothing”? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we untangle the unexpected value of “the visit”—the art of showing up to your work, play, or creative project without any pressure to act. It’s a practice especially vital for adults with ADHD and wandering minds, offering a way to foster agency and mindfulness beyond the rigid mold of traditional productivity.You’ll learn:Why allowing yourself to simply “be” with a task—without expectation—can spark clarity, motivation, and self-understanding.How daily visits help you navigate fear, procrastination, and the deeper emotional storms that influence your focus.Why embracing thoughtful pauses can nudge your creativity and reveal new paths, even in moments of resistance.Key Takeaways:A “visit” to your work strengthens agency and self-compassion, helping you move at your own rhythm.Facing the discomfort of pausing with your project is emotional work—often more powerful than sheer action.True progress begins in the quiet moments between doing—where insight and motivation have space to emerge.This episode features an original piano composition, “Where Did the Table Go?”, Subscribe for mindful strategies and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to explore more rhythms for your wandering mind.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #EmotionalWork #Agency #DailyVisit #FocusStrategies #CreativePauses #RhythmsOfFocus #PianoMeditationTranscriptIntroduction What's the point of doing nothing?I've recommended this approach that we can make to our work where we can sit with it and even not do a thing. I call this a visit, and so when I make this recommendation, I regularly hear a quite understandable question.What's the point of doing nothing?Well, as it turns out quite a lot, and I can get into those reasons, but simply saying that and going through those reasons often isn't enough to make it appealing. In fact, this question, what's the point, can often be a way of avoiding the attempt. It's protecting us from something.It can even act as a proxy for several quite understandable reasons for avoiding what could be a powerful tool in your life.A Visit ReviewedA visit, even more so, a daily visit to some work that you have in front of you, some play that you wanna get into can be an absolute force to be reckoned with -this wonderful unit of work that can guide projects, habits, even developing relationships into fruition at a pace that works for you.I've described visits in some detail in episode four, but in short, they're about showing up to a thing, whatever that thing is, desired, dreaded, and then fully being there without any obligation to doing any of it.We could sit there staring out at the garden. Maybe we nudge it here or there. Maybe we get into a flow, or maybe we walk away without having touched it at all.The important matter is that we're somehow fully there for at least a moment, maybe for a single deep breath.Allowing ourselves to do nothing is not only important, it's absolutely vital. It supports that sense of agency. It's like the difference between being assigned a book to read in school or choosing to read that same book yourself.The Complexity of a VisitWhile a visit can sound simple, it is by no means simple.In fact, it can not only be difficult, it can be dangerous and scary. In this question, "what's the point of doing nothing?" There's a clue in fear. Somehow we'd waste our time. The fear of wasting time is one of wasting life- this existentially awful feeling.What would we gain in taking this chance of being and not necessarily doing?For example, let's say I'm struggling with a school report. If I simply avoid it, I might fail the class. If I wait for urgency to take over with an approaching deadline, I could exhaust myself, lose out on more fun things, get thrown off by other deadlines, illness among other possibilities. Or if I shove myself through, I might not be able to recognize more creative ways to engage or even learn from it, also exhausting myself.But if I can simply be for a few moments, maybe giving myself time well ahead of a deadline, if possible, I can sense the fears, maybe a sense of, I'm incapable, I'm lost. I don't know what I'm doing. But then I can start thinking, okay, well how would I test that? Maybe I can try this, try that. I might find that, oh, I, I do know how to do some things.But on the other hand, I might also find that my heart is just not in this, and my heart's actually in another major of work entirely that I'd like to change majors, but then that butts up against another fear of having to talk to my parents, for example, this deeper fear, but also a place for stronger courage, a more important fight than the paper in front of me.In avoiding the pause, in avoiding being with the work, either forced ourselves through, moved on elsewhere, we miss that sense of what does this mean to me? Every pause gives our mind time to have feelings and thoughts themselves alive only in time given the room to settle. They strengthen the grounds of meaningful decision.Rather than wait for motivation, we begin creating the conditions for motivation to form.Is it Peaceful? When I say do nothing, when I say be there, maybe another idea comes to mind too, something like meditation. You know, it seems like this peaceful thing, these peaceful images of just being.But it could also be terrifying. And by the by, I think real meditation can also be terrifying. Many of us have a number of emotional tensions and storms.I don't write the report, not just because "I don't feel like it," but possibly for fear of what it might reveal about my abilities and lack thereof. Therefore being unlikeable, unsuccessful, unable to find relationships, unable to set limits, unworthy, and more.Doing nothing puts us in front of those horrors.Doing something, taking action- hyperactive, impulsive, regardless of the direction, is often this attempt to escape the dread.Being lets us engage in the hard work, which at its core is emotional work.Daily Visits Imbue CareWhen we visit something daily, we can always step away. We can always titrate. We can let our unconscious mind percolate between visits. Having done the work of exposing ourselves to those emotions, maybe it gets harder, maybe it gets easier. Maybe we shift gears to only envisioning the work.So consider if a visit is avoided, not out of hand, but from not hearing some important part of you that has a concern. When you say, "what's the point?" It might be that you're afraid of a waste of time or a worry about what it might reveal, but know that it then, if you can get there, if you can be with the work and nothing comes to mind, that's okay.Your time was not wasted. Things often come up in the time between visits as the mind kind of bubbles. One thing you can be sure of though is that if you're not with the work at all, some point in time, neither it nor you would go forward.A ChallengeThere is a challenge to this. Hard work is emotional work, and I know I'm supposed to say something like, "Hey, believe in yourself. It'll work out and all that." I don't know. You might even be impossible. Courage isn't something that we automatically reward with a prize. By definition, we might meet catastrophe. It may not work. There might be things that are scary. But we also might find things that are meaningful, beautiful, and a life otherwise missed.So the takeaway here, if you haven't given a visit, a try, placing something in front of you, being with it. What's holding you back? "Where did the table go?"A piece of music is a place of rest. It's somewhere for the mind to drift through for a few minutes. It can distract, it can confound, but in the end, I often find music to be refreshing in the inevitable pauses of a visit. As I hear music sitting in the background, it can catch my wandering attention and gently help me return it to whatever it was wherever I was.Losing My attention is a regular process as I work or write. It's part of the process. It's part of being there in that visit. I might be in the middle of something that seems to be quite moving, and yet the more moving it is, sometimes the more my mind can wander off without my realizing it. To that end, I've titled this piece with an absurd notion of losing something in plain sight.It's called "Where did the Table Go?" I hope you enjoy it.Mentioned in this episode:Waves of Focus YouTube SeriesLook out for new episodes of the new Waves of Focus YouTube series here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJpQS5q6yvRw

Episode SummaryIn this episode, Dr. Kourosh Dini challenges the limits of “chemistry-only” explanations and explores the deeper rhythms of agency and engagement. Drawing on Dr. Thomas Brown’s vivid metaphor—ADHD as “erectile dysfunction of the mind”—we ask: What if the real key isn’t willpower, but the mindful cultivation of agency and self-trust?Listeners will learn:Why “willpower” is a problematic concept for wandering minds.How agency differs from willpower and why it matters for daily life.The power of “the daily visit” as a compassionate practice to nudge forward on tasks, even when motivation feels absent.How emotional waves and environmental supports can be harnessed to create meaningful engagement.Why practice is more about care than force, and how to honor both present and future selves in the process.The episode closes with a personal reflection on the role of music and meaning, featuring Beethoven’s Pathetique as a metaphor for settling into rhythms of focus.References & Resources MentionedDr. Thomas Brown’s metaphor: (Referenced in the episode introduction.)Instagram post quote: “The ADHD brain isn’t lazy or undisciplined. It’s wired to need stronger stimulation to maintain focus.”Episode 4: Introduction to the “daily visit” practice.Episode 9: Deep dive into the concept of “injured agency.”Episode 14: Previous metaphor of the magnified mind and emotional waves.Karl Haas & Adventures in Good Music: (link) Inspiration for the musical closing and reflection on the power of loving one’s craft.Beethoven’s Pathetique: Featured musical piece at the end of the episode.TagsADHDAgencyWillpowerDaily Visit PracticeEmotional RegulationProductivitySelf-CompassionFocus StrategiesNeurodiversityMusical MetaphorsListener InvitationHave you tried the “daily visit” approach? What helps you nudge forward when motivation is low? Share your experiences or questions by replying to this episode or connecting on social media.Music for this episode: Beethoven’s Pathetique, performed by Dr. Kourosh Dini.For more resources, exercises, and community support, visit the Waves of Focus course page or explore the Letters of a Wandering Mind series.Transcript Open I refuse to believe that any science would tell me I have no free will. The slippery slope of victimhood can plague the science of ADHD Because once again, I've seen the statement."I do not have the interest. Therefore, I could not do it." A Metaphor of ADHD as Erectile Dysfunction Dr. Thomas Brown, an important voice in the ADHD community recently described it as an "erectile dysfunction of the mind." Let me play the clip for you here. Certainly the sexual nature of the metaphor is exciting. There's something immediately and viscerally engaging about it. There's a useful sentiment in there, but there's also the possibility of a slippery slope that could be used against ourselves to advocate the sort of victimhood and helplessness, this trouble of actively doing something for ourselves.So I want to take this apart and see where we can use its ideas without trapping ourselves.An Over-Focus on "Chemistry"An important caution in the statement that's made is perhaps the conclusion that the problem is one of chemistry. The implication is that it's that the only valid perspective for wandering mind's difficulties, and when it comes to our sense of agency, our ability to decide and engage something, I would much rather prefer to at least entertain the notion that other potential perspectives exist.There's a spoiler warning here. I believe they do.We can look at the entire universe through the lens of chemistry.So much of our existence can be seen through carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, as these are bonded, taken apart, and rearranged. But even here, within this one perspective, it starts to invite other perspectives. We see the windows to other places. Smaller and larger.On the smaller side, of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen -these are atoms. Within atoms, we're talking electrons and their orbitals, neutrons, protons. Smaller, yet we can go to quarks: up, down charm, strange. We can go to the forces that are involved of weak, strong electromagnetic can throw in gravitational.We're here at the level of physics now. In this way, chemistry and physics are something of an artificial distinction. Chemistry being more of an epiphenomenon of physics.But we could also go larger from chemistry to biology. For instance, we have molecules and ions that construct the bilipid layers of our cells, each one with gates and channels that leverage cycles of osmosis on one side and active shoving of ions through another set of channels, powered by adenosine tri phosphate in the right key of an enzyme.Larger yet organs, blood, skin, thyroid, kidneys. One of my favorites is the brain, but why stop there?There's a larger phenomena yet, which to me seems pretty important. Our existence. Meaning, story, day- to- day, the mind.To make a metaphor, we have the components of our violin: strings, tuning, the wood, how it's constructed.These are all important.But I want to make and hear music. In fact, I wanna make enjoyable, meaningful music. And when we cannot hear it or make it, there might be a problem, certainly with the violin. It could be, it could be a crack in the wood, maybe there's a broken string. Maybe it's out of tune, but maybe just maybe there's some form of practice that could help us write or play a lovely piece.Interestingly enough, within the text of the Instagram post itself was an important statement:"the ADHD brain isn't lazy or undisciplined. It's wired to need stronger stimulation to maintain focus." The stronger the emotion, the more aligning it is. This can be true for anyone, wandering mind or otherwise, but it can be particularly helpful for a wandering mind in the sense that it can create the sort of emotional wave that we can ride.Or in the metaphor of the magnified mind that I gave in episode 14, it can help us create this consistency in our short-term memory, this sort of peripheral strength to the lens of awareness, this bed on which our consciousness can better rest, that helps to stabilize our vision, reduce distractibility, and then engage us.Doing the dishes, an often considered aversive task for the wandering mind, can be every bit as complex as creating a piece of music, an epiphenomena of many things. Not only in a complexity of motion, but sometimes even in the emotions we confront as we stand at the edge of the sink."I can't believe I can't do this. I know how to do this. I don't want to do this."Just as there are many possibilities to how we might not be able to play a piece that we'd like, there are many paths by which we might arrive at this wandering mind from the curious to the brilliant, to the hurt, to the anxious, to the concerned, to the artistic and well beyond.Chemistry as Abandoning Free WillNow there's a second trouble that I have with this word "chemical," which is the same that I have with "dopamine" or "norepinephrine," in that it can quickly become this metaphor of having no free will, that the only way to make things happen is to access it using this method that is outside of our experience.And I refuse to believe that we have no free will.Now, to be fair, he did not use the phrase "free will," but he did use a very parallel word "willpower," which itself is a terribly problematic word.As the best as I can understand it, willpower means being able to do something that we would otherwise not want to do, implying that there is some form of force involved.Now, there's some troubles with this point of view.First missing is that there are multiple emotional fields at play.For example, in order for this scenario itself to exist in which we're, let's say, complaining that we don't want to do the dishes, there's some part of us that says, "I do wanna do the dishes." Otherwise we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Now, certainly there's another part, perhaps huge and outweighing the first part that says, "I don't want to."But again, it's only a part.Even the very analogy of erectile dysfunction can be tremendously complicated. Certainly there are illnesses, certainly there's age, these can have an effect, but there are also times where a man can have trouble performing with his wife, but get quite excited when it comes to their colleague at work.To write off that there might be something...