Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting
by Shawna Scafe, Professional Counsellor
Helping women and moms simplify their homes, hearts and lives. From decluttering to mindsets to intentional parenting. Shawna Scafe is your Nerdy Girlfriend and Counsellor, and mom of three, who is doing the work with you. Shawna Scafe runs a therapy practice in British Columbia Canada. She talks about the enneagram, being a mom of three, marriage, and creating a simple life. She is a Christian who is also undergoing her own faith deconstruction (affirming and inclusive therapy)
Episodes
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ME: Time out for the mom on purpose
This Mindful Exercise (ME) is a quick one for the caregivers. Use this a check in to help de-stress, calm down and regulate. It will also focus on paying attention to your own needs and shedding some of the ‘shoulds’ we have. At the end you should feel ready to go back into the day feeling more...
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ME: ‘Being’ instead of ‘doing’, body scan
This mindful exercise (ME) is focused on getting out of your head and into your body. But not in a hurried and busy sense. More in the sense of ‘being’ and not ‘doing’ These exercises are made by a registered counsellor, but they are not a replacement for 1:1 therapy. Please let me know what you...
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ME: Building Inner Resilience and Self Leadership
This Mindfulness Exercise (ME) is focussed on building your sense of inner resilience and self leadership. It uses elements of IFS (Internal Family Systems) which explains that we have ‘parts’ of us. And that our ‘self’ is the one listening to the parts of us. This exercise will discuss the 8…
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Intro to the mindful exercises (ME time for moms)
Therapist guided exercises for modern woman and moms
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209. What I hope you take away from the Simple on Purpose podcast (retirement party!)
Dearest listeners, today is the finale episode where I share with you my experience of the podcast, answer your questions and sum up the takeaways I hope you have had from listening to the podcast. Episode topics and related links the start of the blog My C-Section & The Feelings I Was Ashamed to...
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208. Improve relationships with this simple tool (bids for connection)
Years ago I learned a simple tool that has improved all my relationships. This tool is about looking for the cues that others are giving us – and using those times to connect. They are called Bids For Connection, a Gottman term. I will outline what bids are, ways to respond, and how to simplify…
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207. Our judgements and assumptions of others (fundamental attribution bias and how it impacts our relationships)
We all make assumptions and judgments of others – but did you know there is a bias we have in our judgements? This bias shows up in all of our relationships and it can create an opposition and divide in places we actually want empathy and compassion. In this episode we explore the Fundamental...
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206. Finding peace through downsizing + decluttering the closet and shopping, with Renee Benes of the Unstuffed Podcast
When you think you need all the things and the dream home to be happy…. then you realize you need to shed the weight of ‘stuff’ and consumerism in order to find yourself and find peace. Renee Benes, of the Unstuffed Podcast, shares some of her story of downsizing, decluttering the closet and what...
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205. Finding balance through ‘ENOUGH’: motherhood, minimalism, self-worth, and personal growth
Our relationship to ‘enough’ can show up in all the areas of our life. Whether we struggle with discomfort, self-worth, setting limits, or offering ourselves more – we all can consider how the concept of ‘enough’ and ‘sufficient’ can play out in our minds, hearts and lives. Key topics in this...
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204. Reframing BALANCE in motherhood and work life
The most common question I get is “how do you balance motherhood, life and work?”. We are all seeking to have more balance in our daily lives and make sure we get everything done. In this episode, I share my struggles with having a toddler and baby and looking for balance in my life. I share the...
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203. Being a mom who enjoys her life
There are seasons in life where we feel like we have lost ourselves, especially in motherhood. We might feel stuck and like we aren't enjoying our lives. I want to talk to how we can move 'away from pain' or 'towards pleasure', and some simple ways we can bring delight and passion into our daily...
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202. Introducing the Life on Purpose Community Patreon
I am going to stop spreading myself thin across the internet, and I am launching a member community in Patreon called the Life on Purpose Community. I chose this name because I want one of the overall goals of this community to be nurturing YOUR life on purpose. I want to encourage you to have...
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201. Overcoming negative self-talk and to moving towards positive self-talk
Negative self-talk can our work-life balance or ability to manage parenting challenges. In this episode, Shawna Scafe, Counsellor and Coach, discusses how to identify common cognitive distortions and challenge them to help rewire your self-talk to be more empowering and motivating. This episode…
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200. Motherhood, decluttering, mindsets (the 200th episode, listener Ask Me Anything)
As a way to celebrate 200 episodes and 5 years together, I asked listeners for their questions on any topic. In this episode, I'm answering questions on the most important question to ask when decluttering, abundance vs scarcity mindsets, motherhood stages and seasons, and more from AMA (Ask Me...
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199. Mindset traps to be aware of (cognitive distortions that might be holding you back in motherhood and life)
How we talk to ourselves matters. I was asked to share an episode on positive self-talk and want to open up with a review of the common mindset traps (cognitive distortions) we can have. By noticing these cognitive distortions we can better understand how we might be holding ourselves back and…
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198. How to live each day with intention, as a mom (life on purpose and intentional living while in motherhood)
What does it mean to live on purpose? This is a question I get from listeners who want to live intentionally but aren't sure how to apply it to daily life (as a mom, because mom life has a lot of urgency and autopilot wrapped into it). I want to unpack how I approach intentional living on a daily...
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197. Holidays + Grief, Family Dynamics, Boundaries, Self-Care and Joy – tips from a counsellor
This is part 2 of the situations that can feel tough around the holidays. We explore how we deal with grief, family dynamics and clashes and ways we can take care of ourselves and look for ways to enjoy what is available to us. Tips from a counsellor to consider for the holiday season. Main…
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196. When The Holidays Feel Hard (stress, anxiety, loneliness, overspending, transitions)- tips from a Counsellor
I asked listeners to share the tough scenarios they expect to encounter during the holidays and Christmas. I will start with Part 1, going through the themes of scenarios and sharing an idea on a shift you can try to make this season, from a counsellor's perspective. The goal is to give you some...
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195. The cost of ‘earning’ your rest
A major hurdle that many of us moms to rest is the underlying belief that we need to 'earn our rest'. In this episode, Professional Counsellor and mom of three unpacks how this belief impacts our abilities to rest well, our relationships and our coping habits. This episode is in follow-up to...
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194. I stopped calling myself a lazy mom (addressing the overwhelm of motherhood)
Do you ever find yourself trying to rest or relax and get this nagging voice telling you that you are being lazy? As moms, this can be a nightly experience, when we finally get the kids down and would like to unwind. Instead, our R&R gets hijacked by this notion that if we aren't doing chores,...
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193. Beautiful words that embody simple + intentional living
Words are incredibly powerful, they can communicate exactly what you are thinking, feeling, wanting, needing, in sometimes as little as a single sentence. But that only works when we understand ourselves and have the vocabulary necessary to name our lives. Join me today as I talk about nine...
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192. Who are you when I’m not looking (internal vs external validation)
We live in an audience-performer culture it is hard to know which decisions we are making for ourselves and which ones we are making for others. What you buy differently, how would you spend your time differently, how would you be differently without feeling like the world is watching? In this...
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191. Are you idling on your goals or moving them forward (passive action vs massive action)
When we think about the motivation we have to take action, we can sometimes take action that is more passive. The type of action that feels productive but doesn't quite move us in a forward direction. This concept from Brooke Castillo contrasts passive action and massive action. In this episode…
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190. Planning the day: my weekly routines and rhythms for work, home and family
This is part two of a two-part series about planning your day. If you haven't listened to part one (episode 189), I highly recommend you do so and then come right back to listen to this one. Join me as I guide you through a typical day in my life as a work-from-home mom. I discuss how I use...
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189. Prioritizing the day: if everything matters nothing matters and how to apply this in motherhood
Planning your day, week, month, even year is a great way to stay organized and on top of life, but it can become overwhelming and cluttered very quickly if you are not careful. When we plan without intention, and without knowing what the important things are, then we will be stuck in a lot of...
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188. Motherhood & Social Media (how online communities impact your motherhood experience)
How has social media shaped our culture and expectations around motherhood? As moms, we often turn to our phones for a sense of community. Being online can be a great way to keep in touch with old friends, make new connections, or get inspiration for your life. But not every online experience can...
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187. Feeling better or getting better at feeling
Coach, counsellor and mom shares on emotional awareness, the myth of happy, and how we can change our lives by learning to get better at feeling - instead of always chasing 'feeling better' In this episode I discuss: Can we use happiness as a measurement of success in life, marriage and…
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186. Doing life with less (summer challenge)
This spring I reflected on our finances and felt a sense of defeat over where I was vs where I wanted to be. I had to acknowledge aspects like lifestyle creep, inflation and inattention to contribute to this. This prompted me to ask the Simple Squad (Facebook group) to join in a challenge to do...
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185. Emotional needs in motherhood (what they are and how to meet them)
How are we told we SHOULD feel in motherhood, versus how do we truly feel in motherhood? We spend a lot of time and energy living in default emotions, while hustling to shift away from uncomfortable emotions and into more comfortable emotions. I want to open up your options for empowering…
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184. Movement as self-care (exercise for wellbeing, not weight loss)
I have gone from be an avid gym-avoider, unathletic, didn't even own a pair of running shoes, complacent with my health in many ways to someone who PRIORITIZES movement as a way to improve and maintain my sense of wellbeing. I want to share how I got here, what makes exercise tough and simple…
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183. Getting more sleep as a mom (giving up the nightowl life)
I am a decades-long nightowl, but it doesn't always serve me well in motherhood. Some years ago I made 'sleep' my health goal (not becoming a morning person, but simply heading to bed earlier). I want to share the benefits of sleep and strategies that can help you give up that nightowl life....
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182. Nourishing yourself as a mom (11 strategies to help you feed yourself well + often)
If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, consider how you meet your basic needs - especially how you feed yourself well and often. In this episode, I share my journey to ensure I am nourishing myself, as a busy mom. Including 11 different strategies that I find help to make sure I am meeting…
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181. Becoming moms who take care of themselves (steps to learn how to meet your own needs)
From becoming aware, to validation, to giving ourselves permission to disrupt the system - we have some steps that can help us in our process of Becoming Someone Who Takes Care of Themselves. I want to share with you how decluttering led me to assess how I was taking care of myself, and how I...
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180. Self-care, self-comfort, self-love & what we have learned from our mothers
Sometimes we can find ourselves reaching for a bowl of chocolate, scrolling through social media, or checking out for the night, and call that self-care. But that is really self-comfort and only serves to numb the discomfort instead of fixing it. Self-care is tuning into ourselves and finding out...
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179. What are your needs and how are you meeting them?
What are needs? At a basic level, they are simple things like food, water, shelter, sleep. They can also be more complicated, like friendship, personal accomplishment, and sense of purpose. Sometimes it can be difficult to meet these needs, or to even know what they are. Join me today while I...
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178. Don’t water the weeds (intentional parenting for proactive connection)
Giving your child extra attention might seem like a great idea, but if it’s the wrong type of attention it could do more harm than good. Let’s learn what it means to parent intentionally and make proactive connections with your family. Products recommended here may include referral links to…
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177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding)
Motivation. It is something we all want more of. However, every day we take little actions and make little choices that are coming from motivation. A motivation to avoid something or a motivation to move towards something. And why does it matter what is motivating us? In this episode: Motivation…
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176. When you don’t know what you want in life. Life on purpose for the non-dreamer
I want to talk to you about listening more deeply to yourself and asking, "what do I want?". For some of us, we are out of touch with our dreams or our life vision. We might feel overwhelmed, or like it is impractical, or like we have failed too much in the past. This episode is to help you see...
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175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot?
With 2023 finally here, it is time to start looking forward to the future and improve our health, relationships, and life. But sometimes it might be a good idea to look inwards as well and see if we intend to succeed in those goals passively, or actively. Kickstart the year by turning off the...
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174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood
With all the planning, gift wrapping, baking, and decorating, this time of year can get crazy, and life seems to just stop until the 25th is well behind us. Today I wanted to talk about the concept of Hygge and how to make Christmas feel a little simpler, a little more manageable, and a little…
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173. What you can learn from imposter syndrome (inquiring into the doubt and fears with these journalling questions)
Everyone has doubts and fears, but sometimes these doubts can manifest into something stronger and more potent, Imposter Syndrome. Today I go through a list of questions to help you inquire about the Imposter Syndrome within you, and how to act on what you find. Products recommended here may...
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172. Tips for having more than one kid (mom of three asking for advice)
As much as we might want it to exist, there just isn’t a magical list or routine we can implement to make it an easy transition to have a second or third kid. And once they are here, it can quickly become overwhelming and seem impossible. Today I share some tips and advice to help make parenting...
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171. Making home a place where your kids want to hangout (with you, and their friends)
Whether your vision is to be the hangout spot on the block, or a place your kids still come to visit after moving out, small changes can be made to create a cozy, comfortable, and welcoming home for the quickly growing and ever-changing family. Products recommended here may include referral links...
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170. Planning the Day (reactive vs proactive, tools and approaches I use)
Planning the day can be an overwhelming chore that you are constantly behind in. Sticking to that plan can be frustrating and seem impossible. I want to share a few ways that I keep myself on track and having a proactive day, rather than a reactive day. Products recommended here may include...
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169. Moms Simplifying Q+A: Toddler MomLife, Procrastination and Decluttering
Answering decluttering, simplifying and momlife questions that were sent in through the Simple on Purpose community group. Covering topics including organization, procrastination, decluttering kids' clothes, showing up well for momlife. Make sure to check out the show notes for more related links...
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168. Teaching our kids contentment, on purpose
How do we teach our kids contentment? I want to unpack this question from all angles. From why it is hard for us as parents, how we teach them reactively vs on purpose, where the emotion of contentment comes from, the purpose of discontentment and growing our tolerance of discontentment. Products...
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167. Conscious parenting through the struggles, and letting go of perfectionism in motherhood
Being a mom on purpose means stepping into your strengths as well as stepping into your struggles. This means letting go of perfectionism and the chase to be the ideal mom and have the ideal kids. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy…
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166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are, intentional motherhood
Motherhood is a journey and there are stepping stones along the way of things we learn. I want to share a few of my stepping stones with you. They are around parenting from our own strengths, rather than focussing on what we are doing wrong. I want to share a few ways you can find confidence…
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165. Spring cleaning urgency + organization tips and inventory strategies that save you money and reduce clutter
Spring cleaning had me feeling a mental urgency at ALL THE THINGS I needed to get cleaned in my home. I am sharing how I am approaching that overwhelm. Also sharing how organization and inventory of your stuff can save you money and reduce clutter (starting with the freezer!) Products recommended...
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164. How I am finding balance in my life this year
I was asked to cover this topic in the recent feedback survey. I think it is a great question to ask, and it is one I've ruthlessly searched to the ends of Pinterest to answer, 'how to find balance in motherhood' In this episode, I will share about the extra demands in my life right now and the...
About this show
Helping women and moms simplify their homes, hearts and lives. From decluttering to mindsets to intentional parenting. Shawna Scafe is your Nerdy Girlfriend and Counsellor, and mom of three, who is doing the work with you. Shawna Scafe runs a therapy practice in British Columbia Canada. She talks about the enneagram, being a mom of three, marriage, and creating a simple life. She is a Christian who is also undergoing her own faith deconstruction (affirming and inclusive therapy)
Hosted by
Shawna Scafe, Professional Counsellor
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