Sober Powered: The Neuroscience of Being Sober

Dabbling is when you stay close enough to sobriety to feel like you’re doing something, but not close enough for sobriety to actually change you. You listen to podcasts, follow sober accounts, make a Day 1 post. Maybe you go to a meeting. You lurk. You think about quitting. You say, “I know what I need to do.” You collect information, gather advice, and understand the problem intellectually. Then you disappear, or you get a little time and pull back, and you wait until things get bad again before you re-engage. We all go through a dabbling stage. Sometimes listening, reading, and observing are the first steps. But at some point, dabbling becomes a way to get the emotional relief of feeling like you’re working on the problem, without requiring the behavioral change that would actually move you forward. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We think that turning off our brain with alcohol at the end of the day is “me time” and it’s the only way to get a break. This isn’t self-care, it’s called being depleted and trying to survive a life that drains you. Poor self-care is one of the most reliable predictors of relapse in people trying to get sober. It’s important and in this episode I’m explaining what self-care is and 5 simple ways you can begin to prioritize self-care in your life. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the sneakiest thoughts in sobriety is, “Maybe I could drink differently now.” This fantasy so convincing because it uses your progress as evidence. It says, “You’re not the same person anymore. You have more tools now. You wouldn’t let it get that bad again. You could probably have one drink on vacation, or at a wedding, or on a special occasion, and be fine.” However, you became more stable because alcohol was removed and you started building your life without it.  Your emotional capacity improved because you stopped using alcohol to avoid every uncomfortable feeling. So yes, you may be different now. But you are different because sobriety is working, not because you've magically become cured from taking some time off. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Romanticizing alcohol can be one of the most confusing parts of sobriety because logically, you know what alcohol did to you, but your brain still makes it sound appealing. When that happens, your brain usually isn’t remembering the full drinking experience — it’s remembering the relief, the state change, and the moment before the consequences showed up. That doesn’t mean you secretly want to ruin your life or that you don’t know better; it means your brain is retrieving an edited version of the story. When stress, boredom, loneliness, resentment, overwhelm, social pressure, or exhaustion show up, your brain may pull up alcohol as an old solution until you build more reliable ways to respond to those feelings. This episode is about why we romanticize drinking and how to prepare yourself for these thoughts so they don't trick you back into the cycle. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot of people treat quitting drinking like it’s something they can start whenever they want. They think, “I’ll quit after this trip.” “I’ll quit after the summer.” “I’ll quit after my birthday.” “I’ll quit when work calms down.” “I’ll quit after the holidays.” “I’ll quit when I feel more ready.” or “I’ll try again tomorrow” On the surface, that sounds reasonable. It sounds like you’re making a plan. It sounds like you’re choosing a better time. It sounds like you’re saying, “Yes, I know this needs to change, but I’m going to wait until I can really focus on it.” But the problem is that readiness is not always available. Sometimes you get a rare moment where everything lines up in a way that lets you finally see the truth. Maybe you wake up with anxiety that feels different this time. Maybe you’re exhausted from disappointing yourself. Maybe you’re tired of making rules and breaking them. Maybe you’re tired of waking up and trying to piece together what happened. Maybe you’re tired of pretending it isn’t as bad as it feels. Maybe you have one of those moments where the denial drops just long enough for you to think, “I can’t keep doing this. Something has to change.” The mistake people make is assuming that moment will still be there tomorrow. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Regular drinking and early sobriety often feel like living on autopilot, where we are repeating the same routines without conscious awareness. Alcohol changes the brain to increase mindless activity, which can lead to rumination, excessive self-focus, anxiety, and addiction-related thought loops. In this episode, you’ll learn about how alcohol affects the brain and puts us on autopilot, how this keeps us stuck, and when this recovers in sobriety. Many people mistake life stress as the main source of overwhelm, but a lot of it actually comes from how alcohol disrupts brain function.  What to listen to next: E220: The Hippocampus and Alcohol: Blackouts, Memory Deficits, and Learned Associations E191: Going Back and Forth Makes Your Cravings Stronger E238: Why Moderation Doesn't Work Sober Support: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/membership⁠ Weekly emails on Fridays ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/email⁠  Work with me: Sober coaching ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching⁠ Courses: The non-negotiable mindset ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course⁠ Sober milestones: what to expect when you quit drinking ⁠https://sobermilestones.supercast.com/⁠ Anger Management ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/anger⁠ Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors. Learn more: ⁠https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors⁠ If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast. This is a one woman show!⁠ https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered⁠ Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I went to a drinking party over the weekend with my in-laws. The family party was by the Jersey Shore, which is a 6 hour drive from my house. I’ve described these parties in the past as marathon drinking parties, because the drinking lasts so many hours. This one was 4 hours at a restaurant, then 4 hours at someone’s house. I think people assume that being sober around drunk people is always hard because you want what they have. They assume the challenge is temptation. Like you’re standing there staring at everyone’s wine glass thinking, “Poor me, I can’t have that.” But that was not my experience at all. I’m over 6 years sober, and being at this party did not make me want to drink or feel deprived. When you’re drinking, you are inside the experience, but when you’re sober and everyone else is drinking, you’re not inside that illusion. You’re watching what alcohol actually does. Because from the inside, alcohol can feel like connection, confidence, fun, freedom, and relief. From the outside, it can look like people getting louder, closer, less aware, more repetitive, more intrusive, and less connected to the actual person in front of them. So this episode is not about how to white-knuckle your way through a drinking event. It’s not about how to survive a party while secretly wishing you could drink. It’s about what happens when you’re far enough away from alcohol that you can see it without the fantasy.  Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Long-term sobriety can be a strange phase because from the outside, things might look pretty good. But internally, you might still have this feeling of, “Is this it?” And that can be really confusing because you did it. You made it past the constant cravings, the social anxiety, the awkward firsts, the nights where you had to white-knuckle your way through. So when you get a couple years in and you still feel restless, bored, unfulfilled, or like something is missing, it can make you start questioning the whole thing. You might think, “Maybe sobriety isn’t enough.” Or, “Maybe I did all this work and my life still feels kind of flat.” Or, “I thought I’d be happier by now.” And this is where people can get tripped up, because they interpret that dissatisfaction as a sobriety problem. They think the issue is that sobriety didn’t deliver enough. But that’s not usually what’s happening. Early sobriety is about protection. Middle sobriety is about understanding your patterns. But long-term sobriety is about expansion. It’s about asking, “Now that I’m not drinking, what am I actually building?” It’s about making sure the life you built is worth staying present for. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Middle sobriety can be a really confusing phase because you’re not in the chaos of early sobriety anymore, but you also may not feel the way you expected to feel by now. Maybe you start thinking, “Why am I still like this?” or “Why does everyone else seem so much happier than me?” or “if sobriety is supposed to make my life better, why do I still feel bad?” This is where a lot of people get discouraged because they think feeling better physically means they should be doing better emotionally. They think if the cravings are quieter, the hard part should be over. But that’s not really how this works. Early sobriety is mostly about not drinking. It’s about getting through the day, planning your time, avoiding obvious triggers, and creating enough structure that you don’t go back to alcohol. Middle sobriety is different. This is the stage where you start to see what alcohol was actually helping you avoid.  So if you’re somewhere between a few months and a couple years sober and you’re thinking, “Why am I still struggling?” this episode is going to help you understand that stage more clearly.  Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you’re in early sobriety, it can feel like you’re overthinking everything. You’re thinking about what you’re going to drink, what you’re going to say, whether you should even go to something, how you’re going to get through the night, the weekend, the next event. It can feel excessive, like you’re putting way too much thought into situations that used to feel automatic. Your brain still sees alcohol as important. Your decision isn’t fully stabilized yet. So it’s trying to protect you by scanning ahead, predicting situations, and figuring out how to handle them before you get there. It’s not trying to make your life harder, it’s trying to keep you safe in a situation where things still feel uncertain. I know it can feel frustrating to have to think about sobriety so much and like this is going to be your life forever, but this phase is about learning how to use that thinking in a way that actually supports you instead of fighting against it. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Not everyone has a rock bottom moment and you can't control if and when it happens for you. In this episode, I share how you can make the decision final without waiting for it to be "that bad". Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you feel like you’re doing well for a while and then suddenly find yourself questioning whether you can drink again, this episode will help you understand why that keeps happening. We’re going to look at how “not right now” thinking keeps alcohol relevant in your brain and how that creates mental fatigue over time. I’ll also explain why the idea of “forever” feels so uncomfortable, but is actually what makes things easier. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A short story about how I learned what "the work" is. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are a lot of people in the sober community getting adult ADHD diagnoses, so what’s going on here? There is a strong link between struggling with ADHD and developing a problem with alcohol because just like with anxiety, trauma, or depression, alcohol can be used to self-medicate the symptoms of ADHD. In this episode you’ll learn why alcohol and ADHD are linked, what is going on in the brain’s of people with ADHD, and how having ADHD makes it harder to stop drinking once you start. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever been completely sure you’re done drinking, and then a few hours or days later it suddenly doesn’t feel like a big deal anymore? That shift can feel confusing, even scary, like you’ve lost your commitment or changed your mind. In this episode, I’m breaking down what’s actually happening in your brain in those moments, why your thinking changes, and why it feels so real when it does. Once you understand this pattern, you’ll see why trying harder hasn’t worked, and what actually makes your commitment hold. What to listen to next: E283 Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot of people think they’re resilient because they’ve been through a lot. But if that were true, then why do the same situations keep hitting just as hard, or harder, every time? In this episode, I’m going to break down the difference between surviving something and actually becoming resilient, what’s happening in your brain when you cope by escaping, and why that pattern keeps people stuck in the back and forth with drinking. You’ll learn what actually needs to change so you don’t feel like you need relief from your life all the time. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After getting sober many of us notice we go harder on scrolling, being productive, or people pleasing. In this episode, I want to walk you through how these behaviors are actually serving the same purpose, where they come from, what they’re doing in your brain, and why they can keep you feeling stuck even when it looks like you’re doing everything right. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s a very specific thought pattern that keeps people stuck with drinking for years. It sounds like: “I know I should probably stop… but it’s not that bad”, “I’ll deal with it later”, “It’ll click eventually.” And the tricky part is… those thoughts feel reasonable. There will always be a big enough stressor or a drinking event to justify delaying quitting. You’re still functioning. Nothing has completely fallen apart. You can still point to parts of your life that are going fine. So it doesn’t feel urgent. This is one of the hardest places to be because when things are obviously bad, the decision gets made for you. There’s a clear reason to change. But when things are just “okay”… your brain keeps you stuck in this middle ground where you’re uncomfortable enough to think about quitting, but not uncomfortable enough to actually do it. And that’s where people can stay for a really long time. Going back and forth. Thinking about it. Questioning it. Telling themselves they’ll deal with it later. This isn’t you taking your time or being thoughtful. This is a pattern. And the longer you stay in it, the more it reinforces itself. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are experts at making our emotions much worse than they really are. You might feel stressed, and within a few seconds it becomes “I can’t handle this.” You feel overwhelmed, and suddenly it’s “this is too much.” You feel stuck or frustrated, and your mind goes to “this is never going to change.” In those moments, it doesn’t feel like a thought. It feels true. It’s not just that you’re feeling something uncomfortable. It’s that the feeling turns into a conclusion about your life. Stress turns into “I can’t handle this.” Frustration turns into “this will never change.” Discomfort turns into “I need this to stop.” Once that happens, it changes how you experience everything. It changes how you think, feel, and what you want to do next. So in this episode, we’re going to break down why that happens. Why emotions don’t just stay as emotions, why your brain turns them into meaning, and why that can make you feel trapped, overwhelmed, or hopeless, even when the situation itself hasn’t actually changed. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot of people quit drinking expecting to feel calmer. You think sobriety is going to reduce anxiety, improve sleep, and make life feel more stable. It does… eventually. But for a while, many people experience the opposite. You feel on edge for no clear reason. Small things overwhelm you. You’re exhausted but can’t fully relax. Your sleep is inconsistent, your emotions are intense, and stress hits harder than it used to. And this is where people start to wonder if something is wrong, or worse, if alcohol was actually helping. Years of drinking trained your body to live in a constant state of stress. In this episode, we’re going to talk about what alcohol actually does to the nervous system, why sobriety can feel so dysregulating at first, and how your brain and body relearn safety over time. Get the E313 email that I reference at the end https://soberpowered.myflodesk.com/e313 Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Skills library https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can know alcohol is hurting you. You can want to quit. You can be exhausted by the consequences. And then still drink. In this episode, we’re talking about ambivalence: what it actually is in the brain, why negative consequences don’t always make us change, and how drinking shifts decision-making from intentional to automatic. I’ll also discuss how ambivalence can creep back in long after you’ve made the decision and result in the slow drift back to drinking. What to listen to next: E269: Autopilot mode Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Course Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You probably expect that the more sober time you have, the less you crave alcohol. That’s true for some people, but others experience an effect called incubation of craving. This is where cravings build up over time and peak around 60 days, then again around 6 months sober. In this episode, I’ll explain the research on incubation of craving, what you might experience, why this happens, and what you can do to stay sober. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Course Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sugar cravings in early sobriety make sense. What many of us don’t expect is still needing something sweet months or even years later. In this episode, we’re going to unpack why that happens, what sugar is really doing for your nervous system, and why this phase has less to do with food and more to do with healing. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Course Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When I quit drinking, I didn’t realize how emotionally immature I was, or how much alcohol had been doing for me behind the scenes. In this episode, I talk about why removing alcohol can make emotions feel (more) unbearable at first, how years of emotional avoidance catch up to us in sobriety, and why this phase puts people at risk for relapse. We’ll also talk about what emotional sobriety actually means, and why learning to tolerate discomfort is what makes sobriety sustainable. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Course Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re sober but still exhausted, foggy, or struggling to think clearly, it’s not random. Early sobriety fatigue has very real causes, from changes in brain energy utilization to sleep disruption and structural recovery. In this episode, I explain what the research actually shows about how the brain heals after alcohol, why recovery happens in layers, and what that means for how you feel right now. Understanding this can change how you experience early sobriety. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Course Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot of people do Dry January hoping it will reset their relationship with alcohol, and then feel confused or discouraged when it doesn’t. Dry January works, just not in the way most people think it does. If you’ve ever taken a 30, 90, or even year-long break from drinking, felt better, and then slowly slid back into the same patterns, this episode will explain why. We’ll talk about why willpower works during the challenge but fails afterward, why the brain treats breaks as an exception instead of a turning point, and what actually has to change for sobriety to stick. Once you understand the difference between a pause and a rewire, a lot of self-blame starts to fall away.  E296-300 drinking motives and how problem drinking develops/escalates Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Course Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did we blast our brains beyond repair with all of our drinking? What if you drank heavily for decades? Are you doomed? In this episode I’m explaining a ton of different studies on brain recovery in sobriety. You’ll learn what to expect as you get more sober time, if our brains make a full recovery, how long it takes to see improvement, how drinking less impacts your brain, and more about how alcohol damages the brain. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Course Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The witching hour, or usually hours for most of us, are the time of day where you typically drink and want to drink the most when you’re sober. This could be morning for some people, it could be 4-7pm, 6-8pm, it varies. This time block is when your biology, habits, and old reward wiring collide: cortisol is dropping, your prefrontal cortex has less decision bandwidth, and your brain is scanning for the routine that used to deliver relief. The evening cue your brain fires isn’t proof you need alcohol, it’s proof you drank often enough and long enough that your brain automated it. Today, we’re digging into why 5–9 PM feels like the danger zone, what’s happening under the surface in the brain and nervous system, and how understanding those mechanisms helps you respond differently this time. What to listen to next: E249: Stress & Cravings E265: Rewiring the reward system Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Course Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A 30-day break from alcohol changes multiple systems at once: metabolic, cardiovascular, neurological, and behavioral. In this episode, I’m summarizing what the research says about the benefits people commonly experience, including sleep, energy, liver fat, and drink-refusal self-efficacy. I’ll explain what improves early, what takes longer, and what predicts real behavior change beyond the month.  What to listen to next: E231: everything you need to know about withdrawal E205: kindling in alcohol withdrawal E240: post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) E247: Sober Sleep is the Best Sleep, But Not Right Away E265: Rewiring the reward system after getting sober Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible Course https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stop doing the hardest part over and over again. In this episode, Casey, Suzanne and I discuss our advice for making sobriety stick and the mistakes we've observed people making over the years. Connect with Casey: https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/ Connect with Suzanne: https://thesobermomlife.com/ Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s Dry January and whether you’re participating for the first time, the 3rd time, or you’re working towards long term sobriety, then there are some things that most people struggle with. You may not struggle with all of these things, but it’s good to be prepared just in case. In this episode we’ll review 4 different challenges you may face and I’ll help you come up with a plan to deal with each one. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s almost New Year, New Me time and before you make plans and goals for 2026, I’d love to walk you through a sobriety audit to evaluate how far you’ve come over the past year. In this episode I’ll guide you through an audit of your identity shift to becoming a person who doesn’t drink, you’re emotional growth and skill development, and help you recognize any signs of drifting backwards to relief and comfort seeking. What to listen to next: E267: resources vs support: how to set yourself up for success Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holiday overwhelm isn’t about being weak, it’s about carrying more emotional weight with fewer internal resources. In this episode, I walk you through simple ways to stay regulated when the pressure builds. You’ll learn how to reduce emotional overload, recover faster from overstimulation, and navigate challenging environments and people. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The holidays create the perfect storm for stress and emotional reactivity in sobriety. Your reward system may still be healing, your stress circuitry is more sensitive, your routine is disrupted, and old family roles and comparisons drain your patience fast. Most importantly, I teach you how to regulate before the stress hits so you’re not constantly trying to recover from emotional overload. This is the foundation of real stress resilience in sobriety. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Family interactions can trigger the relapse mindset long before cravings show up. You’ll learn how old emotional roles, deep shame pathways, and the brain’s threat-prediction system pull you back into survival mode and why alcohol becomes the remembered shortcut for relief. I break down seven internal permission slips that fuel relapse thinking and the emotional chain reaction behind them. This episode teaches you how to interrupt the pattern early, before the thought of drinking even enters the picture.  What to listen to next: E241: 6 Theories of Alcohol Cravings E223: 6 Common Triggers for Drinking and How to Avoid Them Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This fear hits so many people between 6–18 months sober. In this episode, we’ll look at the deeper roots of this thought: identity lag, internalized criticism, perfectionism, shame, and the brain’s inability to feel progress early on. I break down why everything feels slow, and why “being behind” is almost never about sobriety itself. This episode helps you understand what’s really going on underneath that pressure and how to interpret it without spiraling or beating yourself up. E270: Cravings Increase After Quitting Drinking and Peak Around 60 Days Sober and 6 Months Sober E302: Feeling Like a Normal Person Again After 8-10 Months E252: How Many Attempts Does it Take to Quit Drinking for Good Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Non-alcoholic drinks and mocktails are very popular, but are they good for your sobriety? In this episode I’ll explain both sides of the argument- how they can be helpful for your sobriety and how they can be triggering, cause cravings, or hold you back. You’ll learn if 0.5% non-alcoholic drinks are okay to drink and why you may get the feeling of a fake buzz when you consume alcohol-free drinks. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot of clients will tell me that they feel like a normal person again. This isn’t a random occurrence, there are 4 very real changes that are happening to the brain during the healing process that allow you to feel normal eventually. In this episode I’ll describe this milestone and 4 changes that make it possible. If you enjoy learning about timelines, then there is a detailed timeline of healing and what to expect inside my community or as a client resource. What to listen to next: E300: how problem drinking develops and escalates E296: the science of why we drink E295: the feeling of lost time E289: emotional tunnel vision: when little problems are a big deal E283: alcohol shortens your perception of time Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you think you’re a loser and a failure, then you’re going to behave in ways that confirm these beliefs. We all have beliefs about our inherent worth and what we deserve, and when life starts getting too good, we’ll self-sabotage to bring ourselves back down. In this episode, I’ll explain the self-worth ceiling and where this comes from so you can get some insight on your own motivations behind your behavior. What to listen to next: E269: autopilot Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you know if you’re someone who needs to get sober for good or if you’re just going through a phase? In this episode, I’ll share about how my drinking progressed over the years and a lot of research about how drinking motives differ in problem drinkers vs take it or leave it drinkers, how being sober curious progresses problematic drinking, and how putting your brain through multiple cycles of withdrawal makes it more difficult to get out of the cycle.  What to listen to next: E267: resources vs support: are you setting yourself up for success? Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Social drinking feels harmless. Everyone does it right? There’s a difference between using alcohol to socialize and using it to force fitting in and feeling comfortable. In this episode you’ll learn more about the motive of drinking to socialize, how this makes it difficult to quit drinking, and some shifts you can make in sobriety to make socializing easier. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Courses: The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the first things I learned about drinking was that when adults are stressed, they drink, and the stress goes away. As a high stress person, it made perfect sense to me to start drinking every day to manage my stress. This is coping drinking in action. Drinking didn’t help me manage anything. It delayed my problems and allowed them to get worse. In this episode you’ll learn why alcohol is so effective for coping, how long term coping drinking impacts the brain, and what to expect when you first quit drinking. What to listen to next: E201: stress Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Courses: The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we think about quitting drinking one of the first things we think about is the loss of fun, socializing, and drinking on vacation. Drinking to enhance is all about using alcohol to feel more or to make the good vibes last longer. In this episode, I’ll explain why we use alcohol as an enhancer, how the brain adapts, and why this makes regular life feel dull when we try to stay sober. You’ll learn some mindset shifts and things to consider about if alcohol was really as rewarding as you think. Companion guide in the community: navigating the "fun now" urge in sobriety and understanding where your need for constant stimulation and excitement comes from What to listen to next: E211: the anticipation of a drink E265: rewiring the reward system E269: autopilot mode Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Courses: The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I drink to have fun and socialize, I tell myself as I try to rationalize why I don’t have to quit drinking. Except “fun” and “socializing” looks like getting drunk on the coach with my husband and then staying up alone drinking more. It’s much easier to say I’m a wine connoisseur who enjoys the taste instead of I can’t cope with my emotions. In this episode, I’m discussing drinking motives and why we drink. By the end, you’ll have a better understanding of what alcohol is or was doing for you. What to listen to next: E211: the anticipation of a drink E204: why some people develop a problem Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Courses: The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I took adult swim lessons for the past 2 months and in this episode I'm sharing about why I decided to finally learn how to swim, what it was like, and how pursuing goals changes the longer we stay sober. What to listen to next: E227: My 200 lb Deadlift Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Courses: The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve been wanting to make this episode for years, but I felt like it would be offensive if I talked about how I struggled with feeling like I wasted years of my life drinking because I quit at 29 and I know most people quit way later. I finally decided to move forward with this because I noticed an interesting trend in the people I work with. In this episode, we’ll talk about why the sense of wasted years hits so hard in early sobriety, how our brains are wired to replay “what if” scenarios, and why younger and middle-aged adults struggle more with regret than older adults do. Most importantly, we’ll explore how you can shift from shame over the past to meaning and opportunity in the present—so no matter when you quit, you can stop looking backward and start living the years you have now. What to listen to next: E283: Alcohol Shortens Your Perception of Time (Instant Gratification) Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Courses: The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotional reactivity is one of the biggest roadblocks to staying sober. For many of us, our brain’s alarm system has been rewired by years of drinking to overreact to even the smallest stressors, making ordinary problems feel like catastrophes. In this episode, we’ll break down the science of why that happens, from amygdala hyperactivity to weakened prefrontal regulation, and how alcohol conditions the brain to link stress directly to craving. We’ll also look at why low stress tolerance and poor coping skills create a perfect storm that keeps us stuck in the cycle of relapse, and explore 5 thinking patterns that make stress feel worse than it really is. By the end, you’ll understand why life can feel so overwhelming without alcohol, and what it really takes to rewire your brain so sobriety becomes sustainable. What to listen to next: E249: stress E251: intense emotions Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Courses: The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guilt says “I did something wrong.” Shame says “I am wrong.” It feels like proof that you’re a weak-willed loser with no self-control when you keep drinking even though you said you wouldn’t or you drink more than you intended. That’s shame talking. The real truth is it’s proof that you need a different approach and that you’re lacking coping skills and the ability to be flexible in your thinking. In this episode, we’ll explore how that difference shapes recovery, the neuroscience of shame, and how moving from shame to guilt can rebuild self-worth and hope. Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Courses: The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever thought back to the early days of your drinking and remembered how just one or two drinks gave you exactly what you wanted? That light, carefree buzz—the feeling that you were relaxed, loosened up, and maybe even a little funnier. Fast forward a few years, and suddenly those same two drinks barely register. You start chasing it—three, four, maybe more—and before you know it, the sweet spot is gone. Instead of a gentle buzz, you either feel nothing… or you’re over the line into drunk. That disappearing buzz is tolerance. And tolerance is the brain’s way of adapting to repeated exposure to alcohol. In this episode, I want to unpack exactly why the same amount of alcohol feels weaker over time, how tolerance develops in your brain, why it fuels heavier drinking, and why that easy, carefree buzz eventually disappears altogether. What to listen to next: E279: The Pendulum Effect of Healing E234: The Scary Side of How Alcohol Affects the Body E220: The Hippocampus and Alcohol: Blackouts, Memory Deficits, and Learned Associations Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Courses: The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever promised yourself you’d only have one drink? Maybe it was at dinner, or after work—you told yourself, “Just one, that’s it.” But once that drink was gone, something shifted. Instead of feeling satisfied, you found yourself wanting another. And another. It can feel frustrating, even confusing. What’s wrong with me? Why can other people leave some alcohol behind in their glass and I can’t fathom it? This is one of the most common struggles people face when trying to moderate. And it’s not about willpower, discipline, or wanting it badly enough. It’s about how alcohol interacts with the brain. For some people, that first drink doesn’t close the craving loop—it opens it. In this episode, we’re going to talk about why that happens: how alcohol changes the brain’s reward system, why some people are more vulnerable than others, and why “just one” isn’t harmless if your brain is wired a certain way. By the end, you’ll understand why satisfaction never comes from moderation—and why that’s not your fault. What to listen to next: E265: rewiring the reward system E204: why not everyone develops a problem Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Courses: The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices