Steve and Jason Are Having a Real Fun Time

Steve operates on the assumption that if you don't fight him, he wins! And he's undefeated!Steve's daughter accidentally became a professional artist! Only forced capitalistic greed could crush it so quickly!Jason took advantage of the streaming tools built-in to modern game systems and found a small audience... then retired that same night!Steve wants to protect his son, but it's tough since he's so much bigger than he is!

Steve reveals that he won't sing songs from "girl movies." Sounds like he has a lot to unpack with his therapist! (And yes, this podcast is his therapist, sorry.)Not for nothing, but Jason is right that the size of burritos has dangerously ballooned in the past two decades. And they make for terrible leftovers!Thank you, butterscotch pines, for helping Steve convince his impressionable nieces and nephews to sniff trees.... everywhere!Jason's wife was gone and he didn't want to call his mommy, so he tried supervising things himself. Who knows how that went but the job is at least done!Steve's wife appreciates his virility and strength based on jobs he told her he did! And that's our story!

Jason appreciates anyone keeping him awake on the road after his late-night YouTube-a-thons! Steve just wants everyone to be awake for the drowsy crash!Jason fought bad wifi with the tried-and-true "I'm holding my phone up higher and I'm outside so the cell signal is better, right?" method of connecting to the Internet! It was possibly a tiny bit better!Only while staying in a modern hotel could you be forced to use a lamp as an extension cord!Myrtle Beach! Pigeon Forge! Branson! They're all the same, so we hope you like that family slop!While on vacation, do you need to stop in for some candy? How about tin signs? Books? Christian fiction? How about moon pie? Moon pie?!? MOON PIE?!?

Steve is back in Utah! A Utahan relapse? Consult your doctor if it lasts more than five years!If your family is dreading an upcoming move, make them stay in a repugnant Airbnb for a month. They'll be BEGGING for a new place!Steve's family got back at the proprietors of their Airbnb with vengeful deuces in the broken toilet and somehow, Steve missed out!

Jason's family just got back from an all-driving vacation and he's lucky his weary family didn't leave him somewhere in the Midwest!Come and learn why "adult creamery" isn't nearly as crude or vulgar as it sounds!Jukeboxes are just vessels for chicanery and cruel jokes!Jason's niece, like his daughter, is a teenager and generally done with *gestures wildly*. Together, they had some great conversations!Jokes about breaking your family aren't very funny to those with, and from, broken families!

Steve has been trying to get Jason into the sack for years now... the sack of hacky, that is! Probably even weirder than what you were thinking given it's 2026, dude!If he's going to get into it, Jason wants to know which brand is the best. Steve eschews such corporate ideals which just makes Jason more apprehensive about the whole thing!Jason has so many sack-based questions! Preferred size? Amount of fuzz? Number present at a gathering? Typical aroma?Make up your own rules! The joy of hacky sack is that, like the Outback, THERE ARE NO RULES!

Steve cares what Jason thinks about his vacation stories! What a fool! Kids love lizards and bears, it's a scientific fact! The more Erskine, the better! Plastic kid's dinosaur toys exist to clack together so parents can crudely explain how they mated! Man Mecca! The guys imagine that threeways are pretty awesome and totally happen sometimes to other people. Jason came across a possible menage naturally and he was happy just to listen in (easy since it was a tent)!

Steve delivered toilet seat covers to everyone who needed them, to fight the man or something! Jason still isn't totally certain how those things work and receives a toot-orial!Jason also thinks he has the sphincteral control and finesse to change the amount of splash he will create at will and we all know that's just not true for any 44-year-old male, let alone HIM!Have YOU seen the automatic seat covers? Tell us about your experience! It's like MAGIC!Artist's note: Ok, so I didn't draw the toilet, but I ALSO didn't use AI to create it, so... you're welcome.

It's the season premiere and Steve is moving... still? Again? Always?Jason prides himself on being reliable which has no bearing on sleeping in and nearly missing his daughter's bus earlier that morning!Steve's wife left the moving van door open and no, he's never let her live it down! MAN STUFFThe guys think you don't need a friend or a therapist, you need a new podcast to listen to! Glad you stopped by!

Jason just wanted to check into his hotel but the concierge had other, timeshare-y ideas!Steve has pro tips on how to get out of a timeshare or multi-level marketing conversation! Hope you like being an a-hole!Would you accept anything that came from a man's pants/underwear? There you go, there's another tactic!Jason and his wife once got dinner and a show, where the dinner was bad meatloaf and the show was the couple talking up their... commune?

Jason sees the signs telling him to get his first ever colonoscopy and knows that they are obviously for him and him alone because he's special!Steve sees money in recorded, podcasted medical procedures and he even has ideas on how to capture the audio!The guys devise a genius method for subtly denoting which household objects may have been affected by casual household nudity! Watch for the dots!Why bother with the hassle of a doctor's appointment when you can just poop in a box and mail it in?Steve thinks Jason needs to rethink his diet but also, QUINOA IS A SON OF A B****!

Steve's wife is always monitoring his long-distance goings-on and he's becoming a paranoid exhibitionist as a result!Jason Donald Ducks it (IYKYK) around his wife on off hours and the routine is wearing thin!This podcast can teach you how to use the Ring's online settings to your advantage! Get away with lots of chicanery and even petty crimes!

Jason and his family escaped their first room together! And it was the bathroom! Jason barely made it!Solving puzzles as a family can be challenging! Luckily, acting like a stationary room is a train car hurtling through time isn't!Jason's daughter got one puzzle before he could and now she won't let it go! Building confidence through another person's inadequacies... she's really becoming a person he can appreciate!Jason knows he's nothing like Batman... but... he kinda is, right?

Steve accidentally got his son into 90's grunge and now he just wants to hang and rock out with him in the 90's!Steve and Jason are so unc about vocaloids! And they're nothing like vtubers, which Jason also doesn't understand! Good thing his kids are into adult contemporary!Jason's son is into Imagine Dragons and no, they don't have any songs that sounds like any of their other songs!Jason called in various requests to the ever-changing formats of his local radio station and it gave him a fairly eclectic taste in music for a kid growing up in Kansas!

Jason's family is off on vacation, time for a check-in with the Siglers!Steve practices "vibe science" (ex: stick your arm out the window to see how fast you're going)!Jason and his wife missed out on the adult bedroom and then whined to each other about it the whole vacation! They're a LOT!Jason procured HUNTR/X meals for the kids and got the evilest of eyes for his troubles! And some cold-ass McDonald's food! At bedtime!One dinner became a performance featuring the most incomprehensible singer Jason has ever heard! Steve thinks it was a TikTok thing and he wouldn't understand it because he is unc!

Steve did karate as a youth and learned that spousal abuse is a jokey topic for some adults!Jason experienced a Spartacus moment in middle school basketball practice that didn't go the way anyone thought it would!What's worse: bad nicknames or being called something that is demonstrably not your name?

Steve took his family to a death bridge! Steve also shared his screen during this recording and made Jason feel like it was a business call! One of these things is way worse than the other!Jason's wife doesn't get how podcast comments work and prefers to engage IRL. That's not how it works, he has screamed on multiple occasions!Steve's dad is getting into podcasts! His son's is definitively the lowest priority!

Steve feels bad for all of his betta abuse but Jason thinks he's giving the disposable fish friends far too much credit!In case you're curious, no, fishbonin' is not what you think it would be! It's also exactly what you think it would be!Betta fish know their role in the circle of sea life and if they try to subvert that meaning and strive for something more, they are inevitably smacked back down the food chain!Teach your kids to never let themselves have a boss and they'll never work a day in their lives!

Jason hears more talk about proper peeing techniques and realizes he's still an awkward boy trapped in an awkward man's body!Steve wants to name Jason's body parts! It's also deemed ok if Jason names some of them.The guys realize it can be really fun to name duos and trios of famous people! Try it some time!

Jason wanted to be ever-prepared to cut out of his son's 2nd grade concert as soon as it wrapped and he missed something amazing from his lack of awareness!Steve says once someone has been puked on, the party's over!The guys think that proximity to a tragedy is equivalent to the effect it has on a person. Happened to you? Here comes trauma! Heard about it later? You barely felt a thing!Jason compares knowing what "the numbers" means to having an ashy cross on your forehead. IYKYK!And what would YOU do at Mao Zedong's grave?

Steve enjoys the mostly female fans who turn an innocent team taunt into a menacing, suggestive motion! Tusks up, indeed!Jason has only ever been a part of a racially suggestive cheer and he would much prefer the sexual suggesting that is going on up in the Great Northwest!Steve and Jason are working on the next brilliant idea in their double entendrepreneurship!

Steve chose to eat cookies that weren't his and paid with the obviously-otherworldly lack of flavor in said cookies!Jason broke one of the important commandments (he thinks) when he judged a prior occupant's annual church giving statement!When Jason encounters a Ring or similar doorbell camera, he treats it like a human being to stay out of trouble!Jason ruins the end of The Wrestler for noted wrestler aficionado, Steve!

Steve boards the train and quickly assesses who the best passenger will be to co-occupy the space. A family affording him the chance to brush up on his conversational Chinese wins the lottery!Leaping into action, our hero, Steve, bounds from the train just in time to return the family's missing luggage... that isn't theirs in the first place. Jason thinks the old lady who actually owns it should John Wick his ass for the trouble. That would make this whole thing worth paying for!Steve! Jason! Aidan! Tyrion! One of these is an extremely popular baby name and you will probably guess which one it is quite easily!

Jason finds that he has to weigh the consequences when he ticks off his wife, as the remainder of his day hangs in the balance!When it comes to finding the right peanut butter crackers for his son, Jason always gets it right and there's no need for further debate!Steve wants to send Jason a cardboard standee for moral support but Jason just wants to use it in a Home Alone type setup!

Steve flew too close to the cleavage sun and nearly got burned... but it wasn't his fault!Steve's apparent nipple confusion was the talk of the party, and he wasn't the only one flummoxed with the missing protuberance!Once he's on to the Great Beyond, Jason wants a tally of all the times his butt was glimpsed! It's the only ultimate question he wants answered!

Jason and his family took in some late-season festive lights and got a delicious meal as a treat afterwards!Unfortunately, Jason's body treats delicious meals like a protest and refuses to process them correctly!Jason's wife and kids worked together to ensure his evening wasn't an unnecessarily messy one! Teamwork!Jason used his careful dance of the pooping bum fairy to teach his daughter how best to hold it in so you don't let it out!

Jason assumes at least 50% of women leave their... massagers out when company is over and Steve doesn't believe he'll ever get to confirm or deny that assumption!Steve will never discuss undergarments with women because he's a Steve... er, Skeve!Jason just wants people to feel comfortable enough to talk about sex with him!Together, the guys come up a brilliant idea for party cards that get you out of any conversation based on the topic! It's a winner!If you see Jason coming up the walkway with a party platter, maybe just draw the blinds and wait until he leaves.

Jason's family loves playing video games together... until Gamer Dad rears his ugly head and butts in!Jason's son's griefing isn't a problem for the rest of the family, which just vexes him even more!Steve just wants his kids to pass the smell test... literally!Jason just needs a swear jar, but for being a total gamer douche! Oh, and the money goes to Steve!

Steve's roommate lost his taste buds to child abuse by wasabi and now he can mildly impress others!Jason is jealous of Steve's sitcom-ass rotating cast of roommates and once tried to make clapping for people when they walked into a room a thing to compensate!Software developers stand for their morning meetings and that's enough to make Jason uncomfortable without introducing hand-holding!It's hard to talk about suicides (drink, liquid) without fear of being demonetized. Good thing we never got monetized in the first place!

Jason hates the maintenance required for all three of his Christmas inflatables but Steve just assumes he's doing it wrong!Steve remarks that Elf on a Shelf is remarkably posterior-ready-shaped and now Jason can't unsee it, while also being more troubled by his diminutive family narc!Much like the number of members of their family, Jason and his wife have decided to cap the number of inflatables for sanity's sake!

Steve discovers first hand that family skits at the holidays are still a thing, apparently! Jason admits he knows very little about sex things and is happy to keep it that way, thank you, Steve!The guys agree that it's easy to lie about fictional events if you just tell someone it's "based on a true story."Steve worries that he hasn't learned and retained a single useful thing in at least twenty years! Jason concurs!

If you learn nothing else from Jason, please check your pizzas before you leave for home!Working in retail adds +5 to your empathy to those who would do similar customer service jobs! You should try it!Jason loves watching people work in a kitchen! It might be creepy!A large commercial fridge is a good place to let our your frustrations! Turns out, Hollywood doesn't lie about everything!Jason forgoes his Santa/Jesus points for providing a generous tip, but it would still be nice if someone would take notice.Little Caesar's stands out for both getting a bad rap and being generally bad pizza!

It's the most wonderful time of the year! It's CAVE STORY TIME!When it comes to crevasses, Steve wants you to be curious! The depth! The size! The breadth! It's full of potential!Jason's son thinks it would be cool to spelunk and see something cool, but Jason knows that it would NOT be cool!Jason wants his son to know that he could be bad at something, so he shouldn't try in the first place! He'll go far in life!Steve learned the wrong lessons from the Zelda series and now goes searching local caves for old men with weapons for him!

When Steve is duped by AI with an improbable, crudely-amusing doo-wop ditty, Jason calls for an end to their podcasting relationship!Jason and his wife enjoyed a trip back to the 80's on a recent car trip and were jamming until an obviously AI-generated, soulless rock anthem snapped them from their huge-haired trance and made them kick their inept also-ran to the curb!Steve guarantees Jason that David Archuleta has an orifice for defecating and if THAT'S not a case against AI, we don't know what is!

Steve can't rid of the filth like his wife can, probably because she has more time to devote to such a disgusting chore!Jason can't leave a mess behind him anywhere and it upsets his family!Steve's son assumes the water leak on the bathroom floor is his dad's pee and Steve reckons the same about his son!Steve wants to finally have Jason over for dinner but Jason knows better!

Steve is putting together a home gym and already thinks he's a shoe-in for the World Warrior tournament!Hanging his own heavy bag nearly cost Steve a nipple!Jason has experienced... chafing, which is kinda the exact same thing!Steve thinks his purely aesthetic nipples are less urgent an issue than more functional ones from females!Jason's worst scar was so insignificant that it appears to be completely healed, like it was never there in the first place!Jason takes advantage of their video call to showcase his third nipple for Steve! It's probably actually a birthmark!

Steve and Jason think they should be more popular for their lack of shame!Steve laughs hysterically at conversations he and Jason might, but never have, had! Oh man, that could have been hilarious!Steve ruins egg drop soup for Jason! And maybe the ocean as well!The guys want to convince the manosphere that it's cool and alpha to jerk off in the ocean! Here's hoping Charles Barkley can help with the effort!

Time to add to the Jason Lore again! This time, we decide, once and for all, if Jason is, or has ever been, cucked!In response to denying temptation while in a relationship with Jason, fortune may smile upon you!Jason has celebrated his wife getting home from travel abroad multiple times since she returned, and he doesn't even care if guilt factors in!The guys try to define the word cuck but find themselves lacking in cuckness to do so!

Steve recently learned that not all internet conspiracies are reliable! Yay growth!Steve might have been in the gifted program that actually trained assassins, but he was too dim to realize it!Celebrities are not capable of actual friendship because they're robots. That's a bold claim that neither guy can back up! And since they determine they truly are friends, they're officially not celebrities!Was your friend group like The Goonies? Probably not, but you want to think so, don't you?

Steve traveled to a region that has things like goatsitting and porch goats!Ever try to catch a runaway goat? Steve has tips to make your hunt a successful one!The guys believe that goats just want to be free... to stick their heads in random things!As a youth, Steve utilized strained puns to wow potential dates. Did you know that "goat" rhymes with "go"? It's very helpful!Jason avoided dances and soirees, instead opting for buds and games. It's worked out so far!

Both Steve and Jason are still men who are convinced their pop culture-focused T-shirts are great conversation starters!Steve thinks dodging his way through a throng of old, naked men builds character!Jason was scared away from the gym thanks to a poorly-directed tour that led him through a veritable forest of man meat!Jason assumes, if he's naked, even if the door is locked and the blinds are shut, someone can see everything he's got!

Jason's got a leaky attic and he and ONLY HE and his long legs can fix it (or at least sop up the remaining, moldy, rusty water)!Jason's wife certainly suggested that she expected him to miss dinner to soak up gallons of moldy attic water!Jason should probably learn more about his home so he doesn't lose all his money to problems he can't understand!

In the process of trying to rid his home of yet another lizard visitor, Jason got a little too close for comfort and uttered a sound his kids are still laughing about!Steve wants an AI solely to watch Jason's life through smart devices and drones so he can get a supercut of just the funny stuff!Steve wants all of America to play his new game show, "Scratchin' or Jackin'?" Jason could see that, but he doesn't WANT to see that.

Jason's health is questionable but he doesn't want his wife to know that and he thinks he does a good job of hiding it!Jason's doctor thinks his kidneys are fine, it's pretty much everything else that is the problem!Steve attempts to gaslight Jason on the proper physical procedure but if there's one thing he knows, it's balls!Jason had to provide a specimen and a tiny peeing closet and Starbucks cup were not the ideal venue and equipment for that feat!

Steve attempted to appease an in-law with a relocation that just ended with her hating America more, which is SOOO 2025!Steve and his family surprised his parents with buying a new house nearer to them and yep, that's a bold move alright!Jason surprised his dad with a trip home for a major milestone birthday and even earned a parental curse word for his efforts!Steve has agreed to post cardboard cutouts of his stern-faced wife around his nearly empty house to force him to get things done!

Jason is worried he slipped another multiverse or two when his best bud's dads make like Lazarus, but Steve assumes he just has no long-term memory!Jason takes his lukewarm fandom of Happy Gilmore 2 to vacation plan-bending extremes!Jason made it too far to settle for Ben Stiller and a determined Subway employee helped him hold true to that important tenant!

Steve has to travel and go through that whole riganmarole! Reaganmobile? Regardandole?Jason is an accidental narc, surprising no one (except those who assume he's an on-purpose one)!Both guys agree, traveling without your family is where it's at!Steve think the TSA is a bigger problem than ICE! Ok, Steve!

Jason bonded with his son, in their shared terror of tall things! Tiny metal doors are a bad way of preparing people for something potentially terrifying! Steve has always heard that St. Louis doesn't have a whole lot to look at and yeah, he's not totally wrong! Did you know flattened pennies are still a thing? It's true! Steve's son flagrantly tossed his undies in an attempt to impress a girl. What an awkward time!

Steve's neighborhood loves contriving reasons to shoot off fireworks! He nearly threw down with a neighbor blaming him for an errant concussive blast! Jason scares easily and lashes out at who or whatever is nearby! He also doesn't get the appeal of live fireworks displays but will gladly watch from the safety of his car with his kids!

Jason's wife told him to buy a new iPad while she was on a business trip! He went to the Facebook Marketplace, because losing your kidney in a deal gone bad while you have the kids for the week is great parenting! He made the swap and even sweetened the possible murderer with an extra fiver! Afterwards, his kids got ice cream as he pondered his life choices!