Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast VIDEO

Today I have an on-air session with Christian Bevere, as we processed some of the mistakes she made during her dating days, including dating from places of insecurity, as well as the unrealistic expectations she placed on what dating was “supposed to” look like or feel like in that season of life. We then talk through how unrealistic expectations continue to play out, if we’re not careful, even in marriage. We unpack how family dynamics and Christian culture can influence our perspectives on dating and relationships for both the good and bad, and how there can almost be a “desperation” for relationships, that lead us to looking for love in the wrong places. If this episode resonates with you, check out True Love Dates to learn more about becoming healthy standing alone, and attracting and engaging in healthy relationships.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

The stress of the sandwich generation is real, but extremely underestimated. People don’t talk about it enough. How do you navigate the burdens and blessings of caring for young children, as well as caring for your aging parents…all at once? How do you navigate that stress while you’re also trying to run a household, keep a marriage intact, provide for your family, keep your job, and manage your mental and emotional health all the while? Theologian Joel Muddamalle sits down with me to process the stress he’s dealing with in this season of life, caring for his aging parents and the many needs that come with that, all while managing a household and young children of his own. If you’re dealing with the blessings and burdens of being the sandwich generation – this episode will encourage you and give you some practical suggestions of how to manage this season well, set healthy boundaries, and care for yourself in the process – so that caring for others doesn’t end up destroying you. If you enjoyed this episode, you need to check out Soul Care and learn how to prevent burnout, and care for your own soul as you care for others.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

Today’s caller, Ron from California, is wondering what to do about cell phone addiction, especially as it relates to your marriage and relationships. How do you handle the issue of cell phone addiction before it has a negative impact on a marriage? What are some practical ways you can bring this area to the attention of your spouse, or other loved ones who struggle with being on their phone too much without getting into an argument? To help me answer this question, I’m joined by Larinda, one of the DFCN counselors, and together we unpack the neurological and relational impacts of cell phone addiction, as well as some really practical and gentle ways you can begin bringing up the conversation and making changes in your family and in your marriage with regard to screen time addiction. If you or someone you know is distracted by their screens more often than not (and let’s get real – we ALL need to work on this) this episode is for you! Dig deeper into navigating friendships, triggers, conflict, rupture and repair by ordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold. Go deeper with the 60 minute RESET from screens and social media seminar HERE.   The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

What do you do when a long-term friendship suddenly comes to an end? How do you deal with the pain of rejection, misunderstanding, and even abandonment in close relationships — especially when you didn’t see it coming. Today on the podcast, Pastor and Author Alex Seeley opens up about a recent rupture of a close friendship that left her feeling misunderstood and abandoned. In our on-air session, we talk about healthy ways vs unhealthy ways to deal with the sudden loss of a friendship, how to know what's yours to own vs. what’s not yours to own, and where to go from here. If you’ve dealt with the loss of a friendship, this episode will be life-giving and encouraging, and it will give you loads of practical next steps as you heal and decide whether or not you can move toward repair. Dig deeper into navigating friendships, triggers, conflict, rupture and repair by ordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

What happens when you don’t fit into the social norms? What happens when the social skills that are “supposed to” feel “easy”, feel like an incredibly difficult challenge? This is a glimpse of what it’s like to live with neurodivergence, and a diagnosis that impacts your social skills, such as ADHD or Autism. Today on the show Kendall Mariah, Instagram influencer and content creator, opens up to me about the burden and struggles of living with social challenges in a relational world. She never felt like she was “normal” growing up, and she couldn’t figure out why friendships were so hard for her. It’s been a long journey for her, and one that’s not finished yet, but she’s learned how to steward her differences and see the blessings in her diagnosis – and you will too. If you or someone you know struggles with being “different” or having some type of neurodevergence, this episode is for you!  Learn more and go deeper by ordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

Today I’m joined by my friend and co-author of one of my books, Gary Thomas. He’s opening up about many different times in his life when he’s either felt misunderstood, slandered, or dealt with toxic interactions (some even from childhood) – and how he’s learned to respond as a person who typically leans toward peace and repair. We talk about how to set proper boundaries in relationships with different people, depending on their level of safety and health. Dig deeper into dealing with difficult people and setting healthy boundaries, by ordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

What do you do when you keep hitting a wall trying to go deeper in friendship? Today, I’m joined by Nicole who is feeling hurt by the cycle of trying to go deeper with friends, but finding herself at a dead end. She’s feeling discouraged and wondering if it’s even possible to connect with people on the level that she’s desiring for friendship. I challenge her to dig deeper into some of her personal fears and triggers that might lie underneath the surface, particularly regarding rejection wounds, and then I give her practical steps for what to do next when you want to go deeper in friendship. If you’re struggling to find the right fit in friendships, you have to listen to this episode! We cover this and more, in today’s episode of Talk To Me! Dig deeper into going deeper in your friendships and connections by ordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

Today on the show, Kevin calls in to talk to me about dealing with church hurt and trauma. He’s a licensed counselor himself, and finds himself counseling people through church trauma issues on a regular basis. He wants to know how to best serve those who are struggling with this kind of trauma. He’s worked through his personal journey of church trauma, but as a counselor at a local church, he wants to find better tools to help those who are in the thick of it. If you find yourself walking through church trauma, this conversation will offer encouragement and next steps. Dig deeper by ordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network:  Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

Rachel calls in to the hotline today to Talk To Me about her struggles with feeling secure standing alone. After the loss of her husband, she realized she’d never really dealt with abandonment wounds from the past, and is having a really hard time feeling secure in her singleness. How can a person begin to develop that confidence, and even enjoy being alone? Is it wrong to have a desire for a relationship, and how do you know if your desire for connection is healthy or unhealthy? We cover this and more, in today’s episode of Talk To Me! Dig deeper by ordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

Can friendship bring up old wounds? Today Royneka calls in to the hotline to chat about a friendship that seems to be triggering her. How can she tell if the triggers mean she should step away from this friendship, or if the triggers are revealing something in her that needs to be healed? We unpack friendship triggers, how to deal with them, and when to confront them or step away. Knowing your triggers is an important people skill, and we talk through it in this episode of Talk To Me! Dig deeper by ordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

Today I’m joined by Michelle, who has been on a journey of saying no to passivity. Being the oldest child in the family, she has had a tendency to become more accommodating than she should. This pattern has followed her into her adulthood and developed into passivity. We talk about 3 important mindset shifts that have to happen in order to see assertiveness as the best way to take care of yourself and others. In order for relationships to be healthy, they have to be balanced! Assertiveness is an important people skill, and we talk through it on this episode of Talk To Me! Dig deeper by ordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

We are so excited to celebrate the official launch of my new book People Skills today! People Skills offers 31 transformational social skills that will strengthen your interpersonal relationships, increase your influence, and help you create meaningful interactions. Rooted in Scripture and informed by science and psychology, this roadmap offers practical lessons on empathy, clear communication, listening, body language, conflict resolution, attachment styles, and more.  As we continue this People Skills series on the show, I’m joined today by Anthony, who called in to Talk To Me About how to move past the hurt he experienced at his past church. Anthony talks through the church hurt he experienced after serving relentlessly at his last church, and after giving so much yet getting so little in return.   This episode takes an interesting turn when I start to notice this pattern of “giving too much” in Anthony’s life and history…and we start to make some really significant connections. Learning to own your role in a relationship is a really important people skill, and it’s one that we discuss in depth in this important episode of Talk To Me. If you’ve been hurt in relationships, again and again, it’s time to start looking for patterns. This episode will help you learn how. Dig deeper by ordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

Will called in to Talk To Me about his journey through deep betrayal by his best friend – someone he never imagined would hurt him. How do you walk through this kind of betrayal, when you’ve been completely blindsided? Today, we talk through his story of pain and friendship betrayal, and the number one thing that helped him move into healing: forgiveness. Forgiveness is an important people skill, because it untethers you from the pain that others have caused you – so that you can be free to move forward and not stay stuck. We talk through how to do that, and why it’s necessary in this important episode of Talk To Me! Dig deeper by preordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

In one of the most vulnerable conversations of the year, I sat down with Pastor Shawn Johnson and processed the moment that literally almost took his life -- the moment he broke mentally and emotionally. After suffering from intense and continuous panic attacks behind the scenes for many years, one day he could take it no more. Thank God he chose vulnerability in that dark and desperate moment, and reached out for help, because it was vulnerability: letting people in on his darkest moments, that ultimately saved his life. We spend some time talking about the series of events leading up to this dark season in his life, what kept him from opening up before this moment, and how he's keeping track of his mental health and well being today. If you suffer from mental illness, panic attacks, depression or anxiety -- his journey will truly challenge and inspire you to continue moving toward healing, and to learn to let people in. The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

What do you do when your people pleasing tendencies continue to come up again and again? How do you navigate the desire to please people, but ultimately continue to strive to please God? Today, I talk to Judah Smith about his tendencies to care too much about what people think, and the self-serving, self-protecting, selfish nature behind being a person who cares too much about what people think. We unpack the idea that ultimately, the root of people-pleasing is actually selfish -- because it's the desire to be wanted, loved, accepted, and validated -- is actually a desire to meet a deep, unquenchable need in us. If you struggle with people-pleasing, you need to tune in to this one.  The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

It's hard enough to deal with feeling offended by people, but what do you do when you feel offended by God? In this on-air session with Alexandra Hoover, we talk about healthy vs. unhealthy ways to handle offense from people who hurt us deeply, and then we move into healthy ways to deal with feeling offended by God. We talk about important mindset shifts that need to happen, in order for us to be able to deal with our real and significant hurts, disappointment, and pain. How can offense bring us closer to God, rather than push us away from Him? If you've ever felt disappointed by God or by people, this conversation is just what you need. The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

We know God's heart is for a healthy marriage, but what happens when life has other plans? Today, I sit down with Lysa Terkeurst and unpack the series of events and discoveries leading up to the letting go of her marriage. She shares what she's learned along the way about boundaries, and her tendency to do more than her fair share of work in a relationship. We get to the root of the why, and what made her susceptible to this type of relational dynamic -- and ultimately, how she found healing in spite of it all.   The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!   DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

"I've always just wanted to be accepted". I think many of us can relate to that sentiment. Max Lucado certainly could. Much of his life was spent feeling "on the outside" and wanting to be accepted, which led to a series of unhealthy behaviors just to try and find acceptance. Today, he vulnerably unpacks where this belief system started in his childhood, how it led him down a very unhealthy path, and how it still creeps into his life, even though he's been walking with Jesus for so many years. This is one of my favorite on-air sessions, with one of my favorite people. I know it will challenge and change you.   The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.