The FOURTH PHASE PODCAST

Every day in America, 1300 new step families are formed. 70% of them will not make it.We were almost one of those statistics. 8 kids, two broken families, one shot to get it right.In this episode, JJ and Kristel break down what they learned the hard way about blending two families, what the science says every child needs, and how to actually beat the odds.What we cover:Why 70% of blended families fail and what sets the ones apart that make it.The biggest mistake step parents make with kids of any age.Why respect is earned, not given, and what that means in a blended home.How your relationship as a couple is the foundation everything else is built on.What adverse childhood experiences do to kids and how to recognize them.The military debrief method for handling conflict about each other's kids.Why it is never too late to make an impact, even with adult stepchildren.4 actionable steps you can take right now to strengthen your blended family.If you are in a blended family, thinking about one, or rebuilding after divorce, this episode is for you.Grab Kristel's book The Shift on Amazon. Link below.bit.ly/4ggctxjSubscribe and leave a comment. Tell us your biggest challenge with blended families. We read every one.Make Time For Love.

Richard Grannon has spent decades helping people identify and escape one of the most damaging and least understood dynamics in human relationships: narcissistic abuse. With over 800,000 YouTube subscribers and a global following spanning military, law enforcement, and everyday people, Richard built his system from the ground up, starting in self-defense and martial arts, and following the pain points of the operators, fighters, and high performers who kept pulling him aside to talk about their relationships.In this episode JJ and Kristel sit down with Richard to break down why high performers are actually the most vulnerable to cluster B personalities, what the warning signs really look like, what CPTSD actually means, why staying for the kids is the wrong call, and what real recovery looks like.This one hits different. If you know, you know.Find Richard Grannon:Website: richardgrannon.comInstagram: @richardgrannonBook: A Cult of OneMake Time For Love.

Trevor Millar is the co-founder and COO of Ambio Life Sciences, one of the world's leading Ibogaine treatment centers. He has spent 15 years on the front lines of trauma recovery, co-authored peer-reviewed research with Stanford University on Ibogaine and traumatic brain injury, and appeared in the Netflix documentary "In Waves and War" following US veterans through their healing journey.He is also the reason JJ is sitting here today.In this episode JJ shares his personal Ibogaine experience in full detail for the first time, including what he discovered about himself that 21 years as a Navy SEAL never surfaced. Trevor breaks down the science, the history, the Stanford TBI study, operator syndrome, and where Ibogaine treatment is headed.Learn more at ambio.lifeMTFL.

69% of women file for divorce. If you are a college educated woman that number jumps to 90%. So what is actually driving that?In this Swim Buddy episode JJ and Kristel break down what men and women are really longing for in a relationship, why couples disconnect without realizing it, and five things you can do this week to make your partner feel seen and valued.Topics covered: what men need to feel respected at home, what women need to feel emotionally safe, why physical and emotional connection are linked, and five actionable steps to start this week.Make Time for Love. MTFL.

Connection isn't soft. It's not weakness. It's not therapy talk.It's discipline.JJ and Kristel sit down for Swim Buddy episode #3 to break downthe one thing that makes or breaks every relationship — connection.How you lose it. How you bring it back. Why it matters more thanalmost anything else.This episode is for the guy who thinks "connection" is for couplestherapy. It's for the woman who's been feeling unseen. It's forthe couple stuck in roommate mode, where everything looks fine onthe outside but the silence between you is getting louder.JJ and Kristel have lived through divorce, bankruptcy, blendedfamilies, two-state living, and starting over — and what theylearned along the way is that connection isn't an accident. It'sbuilt. Every day. Through small disciplined rituals, uncomfortableconversations, and the willingness to soften first when you'drather defend.In this episode:- What "connection" actually means (and what it doesn't)- The provider trap that quietly kills marriages- Roommate mode and how to get out of it- Pride, avoidance, and silent resentment- The "your soul knows" rule — bring it up- Why discipline beats motivation every time- The repair toolkit that brings connection back- Small daily rituals that save marriagesPlus the "shame" rule, the MTFL doctrine, and a shout-out tolistener Teo who reminded us why this show exists.If you've ever felt like you and your partner are drifting,this is your map back.— JJ & KristelThe Fourth Phase Podcast

Dr. Kirk Parsley, former Navy SEAL turned physician, joins JJ Parma and his Swim Buddy Kristel, on The Fourth Phase Podcast to break down what's really destroying elite operators from the inside out.Kirk discovered something terrifying as the doctor at SEAL Team. 28-year-old elite athletes walking into his clinic with the hormonal profiles of 60-year-old men. Destroyed by sleep deprivation, Ambien addiction, undiagnosed TBIs, and a medical system that had no answers. So he built one.IN THIS CONVERSATION:- The discovery of Operator Syndrome- Why Ambien is destroying your brain- The truth about sleep, hormones, and aging- JJ's 4 silent strokes and what saved his life- Ibogaine, psilocybin, and healing TBI- The archetypes destroying modern marriages- Why "longevity medicine" is the wrong term- The 80/20 rule that changes everythingDr. Kirk Parsley is one of the most credentialed voices in human performance alive today.TIMESTAMPS:00:00 Cold Open00:30 Intro02:00 Welcome, Doc Parsley05:00 From High School Dropout to Navy SEAL12:00 28-Year-Olds With 60-Year-Old Hormones15:00 The Ambien Trap20:00 Sleep as the Foundation of Health25:00 TBI and the Carl Gustaf Problem30:00 Getting Shut Down by Navy Medicine42:00 The Three Pillars of Health55:00 JJ's Four Silent Strokes Story1:02:00 Ibogaine, Psilocybin, and Healing1:08:00 Archetypes and Why Marriages Fail1:15:00 Performance Medicine, Not LongevityCONNECT WITH DR. KIRK PARSLEY:Website: https://docparsley.comInstagram: @DocParsleyBook: Sleep To WinTHE FOURTH PHASE PODCAST:Hosted by JJ Parma, Retired Navy SEAL (21 years in the Teams), and KristelFollow us:Instagram: @FourthPhasePodcastTikTok: @FourthPhasePodcastYouTube: The Fourth Phase PodcastIf this episode hit home, share it with someone who needs to hear it.Make Time For Love. MTFL.

You can't show up to your marriage with a half-empty tank.In this Swim Buddy episode, JJ and Kristel get into the truth about self-care , why it's not selfish, why it's mission readiness for marriage, and how to support your partner without guilt or resentment.We disagree. We push back. We get to something real.If you've ever felt guilty taking time for yourself, or watched your partner run on empty , this one's for you.What we cover:- Why self-care isn't selfish- The martyr trap most couples fall into- How rest can be your version of self-care- The 5-step playbook for couples- Why scheduling self-care is a discipline, not a luxuryIn memory of Charlie Keating IV — 10 years gone but never forgotten.Support the C4 Foundation: c4foundation.org—The Fourth Phase PodcastHosted by JJ Parma, retired Navy SEAL (1996-2017), and his wife Kristel.Follow us:Instagram: @thefourthphasepodcastTikTok: @thefourthphasepodcastYouTube: youtube.com/@thefourthphasepodcast

Ian Urtnowski grew up in Coronado, California, a beach kid turned waterman, lifeguard, and entrepreneur who built URT from $700 and zero guarantees. In this episode, Ian opens up publicly for the first time about the personal battle that has shaped every decision he's made.A close friend of Navy SEAL Charlie Keating IV, killed in action on May 3, 2016, Ian turned grief into purpose. The Chuck Heavy memorial shirt, the partnership with the C4 Foundation, and the brand he's built today, all of it, in his own words, is "the house that Charlie built."This is a conversation about finding comfort in chaos, building something from nothing, honoring the people who shaped you, and living fully in the present.In this episode:Growing up in Coronado and becoming a watermanBuilding URT from $700 with no business planThe serendipitous moment that created the brandCharlie Keating, the friendship, the loss, and the legacyThe C4 Foundation and what it means for military familiesLiving and building in the present tenseSupport URT and the C4 Foundation: urturt.com | c4foundation.org

In this first Swim Buddy episode, JJ and Kristel share the real story behind The Fourth Phase Podcast—why it took years to launch, what they went through to get here, and why the timing finally mattered.From divorce and life transitions to rebuilding, discipline, and connection, this episode breaks down what it actually means to start over—and why you’re never out of the fight.They introduce the Swim Buddy concept from Navy SEAL training and how it translates into marriage, partnership, and life.

In this first episode of The Fourth Phase, JJ and Kristel sit down with former Navy SEAL and longtime BUD/S instructor Mark James to break down what it really takes to endure, perform, and lead under pressure.After more than 15 years training SEAL candidates and decades pushing himself through endurance sports, including 10 Ironman World Championship qualifications, Mark shares the mindset that separates those who finish from those who quit.This conversation goes beyond motivation. It’s about discipline, resilience, and the long-term habits that shape performance in every area of life.They talk through what BUD/S training actually reveals about human behavior, why most people quit when things get hard, how adversity builds mental toughness, and what decades of elite performance can teach about longevity, health, and purpose.If you’re navigating a transition, facing adversity, or trying to level up in any area of your life, this episode gives you a clear look at what it takes to keep going when it matters most.