The Kevin Miller Podcast

We have a culture that reports an almost all time high of human suffering. A predominant term this suffering gets labeled as is - trauma. But I just don’t think it’s the right term for many of us. Trauma is defined as - an emotional and physical response to a very stressful, scary, or harmful event. What I experience myself, and feel so many others do, is loss. Loss that may not seem super stressful, scary, or harmful, but it pains us to a deep, deep level. And nobody is speaking well to this. Which is why I bring to you in this episode, someone who I revere, and will honestly say that the following conversation was one of the most helpful I’ve had in as long as I can remember. Dr. Lucy Hone is an adjunct fellow at the University of Canterbury and a sought-after professional speaker, a bestselling author, and an award-winning internationally published science educator. She is regularly featured in international media, including in The Guardian, the Hidden Brain, and the Washington Post and is a columnist for Psychology Today. Her first book, Resilient Grieving, was an international bestseller that led to a fully updated and expanded second edition in 2024 and her TED talk, Three Secrets of Resilient People, has been viewed by over nine million people. Now Lucy has come out with her latest research in a new book, How Will I Ever Get Through This: Evidence Based Tools to Help You Heal From Hardship, Grief, and Loss. Again, I’m citing this conversation as one of the most profound I’ve had in a long time. We discuss how most attention gets given to the loss of a loved one or our health, but many people are suffering themselves greatly regarding the loss of an ideal. An expectation. A dream or a goal. A picture they held of their lives. And that culturally we may be seeing the mental health crisis as a result of a societal perceived loss of hope. I expect many of you will find resonance in this conversation, for pain you carry, and hope for some relief. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m a fan of mind games, because I feel most all of what we experience is just that, a mind game. But I’ve always helped myself by considering different angles to stories. And today I bring you one I’ve benefited myself with. You’ve probably heard of the concept of “10X,” as in 10 Xing your goal. But I want to be clear, today I look at this as a practice or exercise and am not presenting it as what you or I should do. This then is a conversation I’m revisiting with renowned organizational psychologist and author, Dr Benjamin Hardy. I perceive Ben as having great insight into human transformation and a knack for creating clear, contrasting, and innovative messages around concepts we’ve long grappled with. Along with celebrated business coach, Dan Sullivan they wrote a book titled, 10x is easier than 2x: How World-Class Entrepreneurs Achieve More By Doing Less. I’ve altered some of my views on this concept since this talk, but I feel this is a wonderful exercise for anyone to do in order to divest themselves of a lot of clutter we let get in our way and get to what is important for a destination or achievement we desire. You could almost compare it to asking what you would take from your home if you only had 30 minutes till you must evacuate for a flood or fire. This concept can get us super focused and realize what is truly necessary. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We tend to understand and acknowledge that what we say matters. But I find an increasing lack of attention to how we say things. And yet we make conscious and unconscious judgments about people regarding how they are talking, that sometimes become more important than whatever it is they might actually be saying. This is a focus on being aware of our own speech patterns and habits and how they may be hampering our desire to really connect with others. My guest is Valerie Fridland, professor of linguistics in the English Department at the University of Nevada, Reno. As a sociolinguist, Valerie studies how language interacts with society and examines how factors like geography, social class, age, gender, and ethnicity shape accents, vocabulary, and grammar with a focus on how the way we speak impacts the way we think about and talk to one another. Valerie is the author of Like, Literally, Dude: Arguing for the Good in Bad English, and she writes a popular language blog on Psychology Today called "Language in the Wild.” Her new book is Why We Talk Funny: The Real Story Behind our Accents. valeriefridland.com Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every day we encounter the stimuli of our lives. Events and people. And we have feelings about most all of it. Some good, some bad, some fairly neutral, but we are processing everything through how we make meaning of things. Some of us have negative emotions about certain things that don’t serve us. After 15 years as an elite cyclist I came to equate negative emotions to rain, as I associated rain with riding in it or riding indoors to stay out of it. I held this negative emotions for many years after I retired, for no real reason. From a habit of speeding and rolling stop signs I grew in myself, negative emotions toward cops who frequently pulled me over. Now, even when I’m obeying the traffic laws, I experience a negative emotion when I see a cop. These negative emotions, I created. And now I’ve retained even after the circumstances have changed. Analogies to question the emotions we hold from past experiences that may not be serving us today. My guest in this episode Dr. Julia DiGangi. Julia is a neuropsychologist who completed her residency at Harvard Medical School, Boston University School of Medicine, and the US Department of Veterans Affairs, and is the author of a book called Energy Rising: The Neuroscience of Leading with Emotional Power. Dr DiGangi has nearly two decades of experience studying the connection between our brains and our behavior and has worked with leaders around the world including the White House Press Office and the US Special Forces. She shows people, at work and at home, how to harness the power of the brain to lead more satisfying and emotionally intelligent lives. You can find her on Instagram with a following of 250k @drjuliadigangi Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As humans we have spent a majority of our lives outdoors until very recently, when in a short time, we spend almost all of our time indoors and even in our short exposures to the outdoors we are not opening ourselves to the true benefits of nature. I don’t believe in hacks and shortcuts and secrets to health, and this episode contains none of that. It points to data and I think you’ll agree, common sense. We are spending ever more amounts of time and money on therapies and strategies and looking for the next magic cure, and as a board certified medical doctor, John has put his focus on being outdoors and getting his hands dirty. I find his insight more than compelling, but convicting. And his focus is on what anyone can do, anywhere, to get the free and deep benefits from being outside and nature, even if it’s merely gazing at the sky for 10 minutes. John La Puma you may know from ChefMD™ and is a two-time New York Times bestselling author, board-certified internist, and professionally trained chef who pioneered Culinary Medicine. He now pioneers EcoMedicine from his small regenerative teaching farm. His new book, Indoor Epidemic, reveals how spending 93% of life indoors steals sleep, focus, and years, and how reclaiming just 7% outdoors can restore them using the evidence-based Outdoor Rx framework. This is clinically validated intervention, presenting nature as foundational medicine, an essential component of health and the missing pillar in optimizing longevity and healthspan. One of John’s primary advocates and friends is Dan Buettner, famous for his research on the Blue Zones and its inhabitants who make up the happiest and healthiest demographic on the planet. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I feel we are at a time with a schizophrenic perspective of confidence. We would generally feel positive about a doctor who expresses confidence in their abilities before doing surgery on us, but if that same doctor was at a party and mentioned anything about their level of confidence in themselves we would likely feel some negativity. So do we want people to be confident, or not? And do we feel ok about being confident in ourselves, or not? My guest is Heather Monohan, host of the podcast, Creating Confidence. She has two books as well, Confidence Creator and Overcome Your Villains. Heather defines confidence as,”A feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.” Another perspective from her that I feel is worthy of us really considering is, "Until we realize our value, no one else will either.” Consider it another way, if you don’t come across as confident and are unable to share some assurance of your abilities, why would anyone put faith in you? So how do you do this amongst the friction we seem to have about confidence? That’s the show. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From the restaurant menu that has 10 pages of entre options, to trying to pick out a new set of ear buds on Amazon, to telling kids they can be “anything they want.” The anxiety around our seemingly unlimited world continues to increase. Tactically I think we must become more discerning. But conceptually I think it helps to understand that too many options are unhelpful, and why. So when a new book titled,  INSIDE THE BOX: How Constraints Make Us Better, came across my desk, I interested myself. The book is authored by David Epstein who is already the author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers Range and The Sports Gene, and has worked as a senior writer for Sports Illustrated. The tagline for Range is Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World. I like David’s questioning and relevantly contrarian approach and was eager to sit down and talk with him about how constraints make us better. David claims that total freedom is the enemy of creativity, and constraint its companion. He says, “Contrary to popular belief, the brain is not designed for thinking. It’s designed to save you from having to think.” And thus all the thinking that too many options gives us has a cost. I ultimately interested myself in going forth with decisions by first, vetting them not for what is possible, but what is most probable. And shifting my mindset from wanting no limits, to understanding that less options is actually helpful for my mindset, and my life.  Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I find almost everyone has some physical boundaries that they feel fine with. But emotionally I still find the culture, and historically myself, fairly uncomfortable and unclear on what emotional boundaries look like and what the purpose really is. It took so long for me to have some understanding that emotional boundaries are not just selfish and not against someone else. My barometer is now, simply my attitude. Meaning, if I am relating to another person in any way and I tune into myself and realize I’m feeling some negative emotions, that’s my red flag. My mindset is, “Whoa. You are exposing them to your negativity. Be it bitterness or any negative emotion, but I pull out bitterness because my issues, and I find many others, often have to do with giving to or serving someone in some way, that you are not truly ok with. The following conversation is one I helped myself with on my continuing journey to healthy, helpful boundaries. Terri Cole is a psychotherapist and renowned relationship expert. I think I’ve had her on this podcast three or four times now. In this episode we focus on the message in her book, Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free. I feel there are multiple ways to consider boundaries and in this conversation you will hear Terri’s guidance from working with thousands of people. You can find Terri everywhere, and easily find her in your podcast platform now with The Terri Cole Show. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My focus here is not on being a hero in the fashion our culture uses the word, in regard to caretaking humanity and saving the world. A quick search for the hero’s journey says it is a universal story structure where a protagonist ventures out of their comfort zone, faces a major crisis, wins a victory, and returns home profoundly transformed, and in this I find a core of human desire. In author Donald Miller’s book, A Million Miles In A Thousand Years he  takes a script writing course and is taught that a good story is about a character who wants something, and overcomes conflict to get it. We all seem to inherently desire deep, fulfilling experiences, and those by proxy tend to include an effort in order to achieve them. Making the effort and overcoming some challenges are part of what make the experience fulfilling. So my expert on the topic is Peter Bailey. Professionally Peter has worked as a leadership strategist for four decades in more than 50 countries. But my interest is Peter’s research and discoveries in “Developing Your Heroic Journey Mindset,” of which he has a TED talk by the same title. Recently he’s written a book, The Epic of You : Reframe Your Past To Navigate Your Future. As you will hear, at the heart of heroism is not what has happened to you, but how you have responded to life. Peter experienced a difficult childhood and in adulthood has traveled through many of the main trials of life and love. I wanted to dig into how we understand and navigate our lives as we face crisis and not let them dictate the outcomes of our lives.  Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I continue to find and place value in Emotional Intelligence. I spent much of my life misperceiving social intelligence as emotional intelligence. I felt I could read and cater to other’s emotions, but I was very ignorant and neglectful of my own emotions, which took a toll on myself, and others. In this episode I brought on an expert who cites that emotional intelligence as the single biggest predictor of our personal and professional success. Scott Allender is an expert in global leadership and organizational development. He regularly teaches Enneagram workshops and conducts emotional intelligence assessments for individuals and teams who seek to become more radically self-aware and cognizant of the impact they have on the world. Scott has a book titled, The Enneagram of Emotional Intelligence: A Journey to Personal and Professional Success. This is another installment in my continual pursuit of understanding and owning my own emotions. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I appreciate people who help us paradigm shifts. I have viewed life as progressing to the next goal. The next destination. Focused on what I can add to my achievements. And yet as I’ve gotten older and dealt with more things that have humbled and tempered me, I’ve started wondering if there is as much or more growth, not from adding, but subtracting. Not from learning new things, but unlearning old things. In a similar concept, my guest today says, “Transformation is the power of departure.” DR. ROSENNA BAKARI is a psychologist, empowerment expert, and educator who has just published a book titled, Seven Exits: Leave Behind What No Longer Serves You. Rosenna had a childhood seizure at age seven and was misdiagnosed as “mildly retarded.” She went on however to be identified as mentally gifted. At age 17 she entered Cornell University and by age 22 earned her Ph.D. in Educational Psychology. For more than 25 years, Dr. Bakari taught psychology to graduate and undergraduate students, published peer-reviewed articles, and delivered presentations across the country with a focus on empowerment, healing, and transformation. Here is a quote I tuned into from Rosenna, “High-quality mental well-being displays positive characteristics, such as managing stress and recovering from adversity. It also includes emotional regulation, self-awareness, and cognitive flexibility. However, individuals with high mental functioning can still be disempowered.” I feel we have a culture that feels tremendously disempowered, even amongst the so-called, “successful.” So I dug into the issue with Rosenna. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My guest is Dandapani. He became an ordained Hindu monk under the guidance of one of Hinduism’s foremost spiritual leaders of our time. For 10 years he lived a life of serious personal discipline and training at his guru’s cloistered monastery in Hawaii. Here he learned to control his mind. He learned to focus. And he believes this is the key to finding one’s purpose. We would probably all agree that it is easier to focus when you live in a monastery in Hawaii. Dandapani readily agrees. Yet he believed the teachings would work in the outside world as well, and now he’s proved it. He left the monastery and moved to New York where he started a business, got married, and became a father. Today he is a highly sought-after international speaker and leading expert on leveraging the human mind and the power of focus to create a life of purpose and joy. I just attended an event in LA with 5,000 attendees and spoke onstage along with Dandapani. I inspire myself to see him remaining centered and at peace, even as he endures the busyness of travel, work, and family like the rest of us. He has a book, The Power of Unwavering Focus. One concept from his message has changed my life. That of the mind being a vast space with many different areas and our awareness is a glowing orb of our focus that can only light up one room at a time. I invite you to settle into this discussion. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Could we really reduce your conscious mind to a set of underlying processes that, when composed, create the feeling of you, the view of right now?” This is what my guest questions and proposes. David Sussillo is a world-renowned neuroscientist, an adjunct professor at Stanford University and has been a scientist at the Google Brain group and Meta Reality Labs. In his professional pursuits, David researches brain-machine interfaces to develop the next generation of computers. He works to understand the ghost in the machine – how cells in our brain collectively give rise to the computations that determine behavior. But David is not just a researcher. He’s his own test subject. He had a difficult childhood, to put it mildly. He spent five years living in the Albuquerque Christian Children’s Home. A home for children who were basically abandoned. They had unfit parents, but weren’t up for adoption. This was near to my heart, as my family and I served at a similar children’s home in Gallup, NM, and I understand much of the heartbreak associated with such a place. My core interest was how David came from such a traumatic childhood, to be the high achieving adult he is today. His sister, who experienced much of the same lifestyle, killed herself. So again, what was different about David? And the point here is not David and his story. But you and me and our stories, and understanding how we imprison, and free ourselves. David discusses his journey in his new book, EMERGENCE: A Memoir of Boyhood, Computation, and the Mysteries of Mind. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We have made anxiety a bad term. But anxiety is a normal response of the body to a worry or concern or perceived threat. Your anxiety in and of itself isn’t doing anything wrong. We just seem to be responding inappropriately. Britt Frank is a licensed neuropsychotherapist and trauma expert who is trained in IFS (Internal Family Systems) and SE (Somatic Experiencing). She is a speaker and an award-winning adjunct instructor at the University of Kansas where she’s taught classes on ethics, addiction, and clinical social work. She has a book, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia To Find Your Path Forward. I brought her to us to discuss her research on anxiety and body based feeling vs thought based therapy. Britt ultimately points to anxiety as a cue from your body. Think of it as a dashboard light in your car saying something is not quite right. Like the “check engine” light. But instead of giving the light attention, our culture has primarily normalized anxiety, as it has many pathologies, and decided to just live with the check engine light on. I think what you will hear is some paradigm shifting information that will change how you view your anxiety and get you paying attention to your body's responses in order to better manage your mental state. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are more sensitive than ever to our differences. Most people I know are really striving to be aware, kind, considerate, and inclusive. But is this sensitivity also increasing our cultural anxiety around the issue? My guest in this episode is social psychologist Claude M Steele, and he feels this is the case. Claude is the Lucie Stern Professor in the Social Sciences, Emeritus, at Stanford University. Over a decade ago Claude authored the book, Whistling Vivaldi, which became a groundbreaking resource on stereotypes and identity. His new book is, Churn: The Tension That Divides Us and How To Overcome It. Claude lays out that we all, inherently, are more comfortable with people like us. Which by proxy means we discomfort ourselves with people who are different. Many of us try to be "color blind" and pretend there is not difference, but we all feel the elephant in the room. Claude says, "Prejudice doesn't survive proximity. As you will hear, Claude has a primary solution. If someone is different, and if you really care, be curious. And seek to connect. This sounds simple, and I'm not sure it is, which is why I offer you the following conversation. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are tired of performing. We want to be our authentic selves. We want to have boundaries. But I see and have experienced two challenges. You finally just let it all hang out and tell everyone how you really feel and let the chips of dissension fall where they will. Or, you just fold at the critical moment and feel it’s easier just to perform and appease people. Is there another option? Most of you will be aware of Mindvalley, and have likely participated with them. They have become one of the most popular personal development platforms on the planet. My guest in this episode is Mindvalley co-founder, Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani. Kristina is an entrepreneur, writer, international speaker, artist, and philanthropist. She is also someone who spent much of her life striving to please others, but she now cites that you won’t find peace being even 95% honest and authentic if you’re still 5% fake or performing. But we also want to accommodate others as much as we can. She writes about this in her book, Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living An Imperfectly Authentic Life, and we dig into the issue here in this episode. We also candidly discuss the dark side of personal growth and how it can feed our insecurities, which coming from the co-founder of Mindvalley, I feel is a big disclosure. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do I, intrinsically matter? Do you? Based on...what? There is almost a saturation of information and ideas on what purpose is and having purpose in your life. But if you dig down, I find purpose to primarily be a pursuit to...matter. Do we matter just because we exist? Many religions say so, but I generally find the religious scrambling to prove they matter in the same ways everyone else is. So does that testify that we have to do something to matter? This is the episode. I sat down with renowned philosopher and intellectual, Rebecca Goldstein. Rebecca is an award-winning philosopher and writer. She is the author of ten books of acclaimed fiction and non-fiction. She holds a Ph.D. in philosophy of science from Princeton University and has taught at Yale, Columbia, NYU, Dartmouth, and Harvard. In 2015, she was awarded the National Humanities Medal by President Obama. In many ways however, from all of Rebecca's philosophical pursuits, the concept of mattering is her culmination of wisdom. Her new book is called, The Mattering Instinct: How Our Deepest Longing Drives Us and Divides Us. In this conversation we dive straight into how we perceive mattering, what we generally do to matter, and what actually results in feelings of mattering. We discuss the cultural and relational conflicts we have around what and who we think matters most. Rebecca then identifies four psychological types based on how people pursue mattering, which in itself begs the question: We generally pursue proving that we matter. Belying we think mattering is earned. I found the conversation very revealing and bringing me to consider my core motives for my life. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The concept of trauma has gotten more focus than ever, as of late, it seems. But I feel much of what gets labeled trauma is the pain of loss. Losses we don’t know how to, or maybe never will, reconcile. I don’t claim having trauma in my life, but I have loss that I don’t think I’ll ever get over. I don’t want to minimize trauma at all, but I feel even more people resonate with the concept of loss. Even if it stems from a tragic trauma. And what I’ve been considering is some losses I don’t expect or even intend to “get over.” They are now a part of me. And, I want to thrive in my life anyway. My guest knows much about this, not only from his own life, but with experience with so, so many people. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon. Every day he is dealing with people who may lose some of their cognitive abilities, or their lives. And he deals with their loved ones who are losing someone significant in their lives. This is Lee’s life. In addition, Lee knows what I’ll call straight-up, big T Trauma. On August 20, 2013, his nineteen-year-old son Mitch died of multiple stab wounds to the neck. Mitch’s best friend died along with him with one stab wound. Whether the knife used to kill Mitch was in his hand or someone else’s, whether he was at fault or a victim, they will never know. An unsolved murder. This could have been the end of Lee. Obviously it was not. But he hasn’t gotten over it and doesn’t expect to. All this adds up to what I found to be a profound conversation that I’ve understood more as time has passed and I’ve experienced more loss. Lee has a book about all this, Hope Is the First Dose: A Treatment Plan for Recovering from Trauma, Tragedy, and Other Massive Things. And wherever you are listening to this podcast, you can find his podcast, just search for The Dr. Lee Warren Podcast. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I don’t think we like to hear it, but there seems to be continual evidence that our culture is growing more risk averse, less willing to try new things, and as a result, becoming stagnant. Another data point on our reported, near all time low of subjective well-being. So I brought on an expert to discuss the issue. Ben Swire is an innovative thought leader on human connection and authentic living. Ben is an award-winning designer, writer, and former Design Lead at the iconic innovation firm IDEO, and he co-founded Make Believe Works where they help people build deeper relationships and discover their authentic purpose through creative activities. Ben has spent much of his time working with people and teams, helping them progress toward the things they really want. Ben says we all want inspiring experiences, meaningful work, and deep relationships. But those generally require risking vulnerability, inviting disappointment, and trusting others. So, we hesitate, settle to remain safe, and stay stuck. So he's worked to lessen the perceptions of risk, and this was why I had him on the show. Ben has a new book, SAFE DANGER: An Unexpected Method for Sparking Connection, Finding Purpose, and Inspiring Innovation. As you will hear, I really honed in on looking at what is really most at risk, and so often it is only our identity. Anxiety about what people might think. I’m not going to cheerlead that everyone quit caring what others think, but I’m definitely working to shine light on the issue and help us see how unfounded the concern often is. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I believe much of what motivates our life perspective and choices is around protecting ourselves. It’s human nature. I’m not talking about self-absorption, but even amongst the most giving and serving and confident of people, I still experience a lot of motive and behavior around self-protection. I’m including myself in this as well. My guest today has a very unique perspective on this concept. My guest is Jordan Grumet. Jordan was an internal medicine physician who left clinical practice to devote himself to hospice care and deep conversations about life. Jordan walks with people who are given an end of life diagnosis and watches a phenomenon happen right before his eyes. Jordan says, “We are all living versions of stories, but when a person is diagnosed with a terminal illness and death becomes a near future certainty, something remarkable happens: the self-protective stories about identity, work and money crumble, leaving them with clarity about who they are, what they love, and what really matters.” He then cites they become free, as there is no reason to hold up pretense and no need to protect themselves. Their focus shifts from fear of loss toward the possibility of what can still be gained, and people focus on true desires, generally for the first time. The tragedy is they didn’t achieve this perspective, long ago in their lives. Which is why Jordan took his experience and wrote a book, Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor's Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life. He’s striving to help us leave our lives of self-protection and move to considering what is truly possible, now. Not waiting till death is imminent and we have a short time to do what really matters. You can connect with Jordan at his podcast, Earn & Invest Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you view your sense of self? Do you feel more or less understanding of who you are? How about those around you, friends, family, and others? Do you sense them as feeling more or less stable regarding themselves and their place in the world? I think it’s worth considering, and I feel a continued shift toward insecurity in an of ourselves, culturally. I have kids from 13 to 30 years old, from middle school to grad school, and I see and hear of consistent quandaries vs self and identity. But I’m 55 and even amongst my peers I feel there are struggles. My guest today has been researching this issue and as with so much of the human condition, feels our current age of tech and speed and constant transformation is having an effect on our sense of self. Patricia Martin is a cultural analyst and author whose insights have appeared in Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, Slate, and Psyche Magazine. She hosts the popular podcast, Jung in the World, as in Carl Young, and she is the author of four books including her most recent, and my focus here, Will The Future like You? Reflections on the Age of Hyper-reinvention. In the book, Patricia asks, “What if the harms of living an increasingly digital life go beyond undercutting our attention spans or blunting our social skills? What if it cuts deeper, to the core of who we are and who we know ourselves to be?” In this episode we explore the challenges that tech and the internet impose on the human psyche and discuss the processes that make us who we are. We also address three conditions Patricia cites as unraveling who we are: persona fog, chronic self-doubt, and cascading crossroads.  As is often the case, I hone in on understanding who we are outside of what we do and how we have grown to measure and judge our sense of self. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First, I’m surely not saying that what you are or are not eating doesn’t matter. But after a decade of my own involvement in functional medicine, I see the biggest culprit for gut and digestion issues to be our minds more than anything else. I continue to meet people who are doing “all the right things,” eating clean, taking all the great supplements, exercising, getting good sleep, and they are still dealing with gut and digestive discomfort. I was the same. And I don’t have a magic solution like meditating or something for the mind. But I’m concerned that the normal lifestyle of busyness and fast paced and constant stimulation is going to overpower all your other efforts. So a few years ago I sat down with Dr Will Cole. I became aware of Dr Cole through Gwyneth Paltrow, as he is her functional medicine doctor and one of the providers in her Goop wellness and lifestyle brand and company. Will has admittedly become the health and wellness resource for a lot of influential people and if you visit his IG page with over 800k followers you’ll see many people you recognize. Will has a book called, Gut Feelings: Healing the Shame-Fueled Relationship Between What You Eat and How You Feel, and it gets more into the philosophy of our wellness than just clinical, prescriptive aspects. Which to me is the foundation. Your health and wellness will ultimately be a result of your own philosophy on health and wellness. Will actually coined the term, “Shameflammation”, which I encourage you to listen into. I find that shame is a reality with most men, and one they are ignorant of and prone to avoid even looking into. You’re going to hear some paradigm shifting information here on your health and wellness. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most everyone knows the story of holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl who wrote the book, Man's Search For Meaning. In the book he shares his journey of finding meaning, purpose, and peace even as a prisoner in a concentration camp. A primary message he had for humanity was that regardless of circumstances, we have the freedom to choose our attitude in any situation. He feels this is what kept him alive while most around him died. But when the time came when Viktor was freed from his prison, he didn't stay there, saying he'd found peace and was good. He left to embrace the comforts and security of freedom. We as humans seem to inherently desire just that, comfort and security. I don't see that changing, and I'm not criticizing this, as I wake most mornings safe and sound in the comforts of my nice home full of all the latest amenities. But like Viktor, I want my core comfort and security to reside within me so that in times of hardship and uncertainty, I'm not devastated. We live in a time where we don't seem to be doing ok if things aren't certain for us. And they can't be. And as time goes on I align with the quote, “The more I learn the less I know,” usually attributed to Albert Einstein or Socrates. I find less and less that I can claim certainty with. But I’m also finding more peace than ever by accepting, not knowing. My guest in this episode is Simone Stolzoff. Simone is an author and journalist who explores big questions about work, meaning, and identity. He is the author of two books: The Good Enough Job and now, and the reason for me inviting him onto the show, he has written the book, How To Not Know: The Value of Uncertainty In a World That Demands Answers. Simone’s work has been featured in The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and on the TED stage, and I found that many of the influential leaders I’ve had on this podcast follow Simone’s research and work. Here we don’t discount our desire for certainty, but dig into how we can remain secure when we are not certain. I’ll add that I’m growing more distrusting of those who claim certainty, and at the point of rejecting the concept. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The word “sensitive” has a lot of baggage. Much of it is negative. We are critical of people who we deem are not sensitive. Insensitive, we say. We are critical of people who we deem are too sensitive. Over sensitive, we say. If you look for the meaning of the word, you find this - Being sensitive means having a nervous system that processes information more deeply, resulting in acute physical, mental, or emotional responses to stimuli. I find myself today wanting to, as it says, “process information more deeply.” I want to feel the feels and experience all the sensations. That said, there are some things I feel, maybe too acutely. Some emotionally and some sensory. On both accounts I have some areas where I feel overly sensitive. How I choose to perceive them and address them is how I choose to care for myself, and with others regarding me. My guest in this show is my guru on sensitivities, and specifically, HSPs - highly sensitive people. Andre Sólo is the force behind Sensitive Refuge, the world’s largest website for sensitive people, and Andre is the co-author of "Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World." When I first read Andre’s book, I labeled myself an HSP, and you’ll hear me refer to such in this episode. Since then, I do not accept this label, as I don’t really accept any label. I don’t align with saying I’m all of anything. But I do accept that there are some emotions and sensory perceptions that I recognize myself to be highly sensitive to. You may align with this as well, and Andre is here to help us learn how to be highly functioning, regardless of your sensitivities. Find him at his homebase website, sensitiverefuge.com, and find him on IG @sensitiverefuge Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve likely seen movies that depict someone having an accident and getting amnesia, not being able to remember any, or aspects, of their past. Imagine waking today and you know everything about yourself in the present moment, and are even aware of what you do and your future. But you can’t remember any of the hurts and pains and disappointments of your past. Who and how would you be? This isn’t possible of course, and I for one don’t want to forget the past, but my guest in this episode is really calling us to detach from how much we let the past handicap us. Truly, through our memories alone, we inadvertently let the past limit us. My guest is renowned therapist, Katherine Woodward Thomas. Katherine was the New York Times bestselling author of Calling in “The One” and Conscious Uncoupling. She is literally credited with teaching hundreds of thousands of people in her virtual and in-person programs, and also trained thousands of other professional therapists in her methods. I can’t believe how many people who have read and followed Katherine’s counsel. Her brand new book is, What's True About You: 7 Steps to Move Beyond Your Painful Past and Manifest Your Brightest Future. At the end of her career, this is the climactic message she wanted to bring the world. I had the distinct honor of talking with Katherine on March 30th, 2026. We had previously rescheduled due to her treatments regarding late stage ovarian cancer. On April 27, not even a month after our conversation, Katherine passed away. She knew the cancer was serious, but as she told me, she was doing everything possible to fight it, and was hopeful. Katherine and I really connected, and were planning on following up together about a project I’m working on. We traded text messages and I inspired myself to think of collaborating with not only a profoundly accomplished and influential professional in the self-help space, but with someone I experienced as a truly bright light and tender, insightful soul. I’d like to think now that our conversation that follows was influenced by the mysteries of her leaving this earth only 28 days later. I ask you to tune in with special attention and an open spirit to what Katherine has to offer us regarding truly letting go of the past constructs of ourselves that we are holding onto and believing in and keeping us from progressing in the miracle that is our lives. The miracle of living. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Out of the 1700 shows and hundreds of people I've had on my podcasts, people, often when they have me as a guest on their podcast, ask me what shows stood out. And my answer is citing shows where a message had a particularly valuable impact on my personal life. My first conversation with Arthur Brooks about the message in his book, Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life, is one of these. The book came across my desk at a time when I was feeling burnout in multiple areas of my life. I'll always remember sitting on the couch in my study and reading the first chapter where Arthur depicts the exhaustion I and others in the 2nd half of life are feeling. And the propensity to look at just grunting out the rest of life, just trying to retire and escape, or...another option. To realize that our brains and beings were equipped, neurologically, to function one way in our early life, and a different way in our later life. My paraphrasing is to say, in the first half of my life, I was wired to create and build and innovate and conquer the world in essence. But that wiring decreases in strength over time. But now you have the wiring that is in essence, earned by all that effort. I now have knowledge of experience to impart. I have some guidance and wisdom to offer. It works this way in my life today, in the past, I'd start a new company and be CEO and lead the charge. Now I start a company, and I influence the charge. But I don't want to lead it. I've done that. I've been there. I have other things to offer now. I have recommended Arthur's book, Strength to Strength, to so many people. My peers. And I recommend it again as I queue it up for your benefit now. Since this book and conversation, Arthur co-authored a book with Oprah and I had him back on the show, and today finds him...everywhere. Harvard professor, multiple NYT bestselling author, and national columnist. If you want to connect with him just type in Arthur Brooks anywhere and you'll find him. I get his weekly article he writes for The Free Press. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices