PODCAST · comedy
The Red Scare
by The Red Scare
Since 2007, This Dichotomous Duo has agreed on nothing. GOP or DNC? Pitch or Catch? Top or Bottom? Listen Up, Fruits! Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theredscareOnce upon a radio station, two dudes wandered into a studio in the middle of the night. They started pressing buttons, pulling switches, and in 2007, they established, "The Red Scare." After a long awaited return, the Dichotomous Duo of Teddy & Scotch are back and they're pissed off. Listen up, fruits!
Episodes
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Spot Me a Tubby
The boys try vigorously to give a damn about the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, and speculate the future of a monarchy which really has no power. Then, Harriet Tubman gets a new legacy with a new moniker, conjured up by the brilliant, Red Scare. Serena Williams is another queen which, this week,...
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Technically, It's Technical
Teddy stumbles out of the gate with some annoying technical issues, but runs with it anyway. The boys lay the groundwork for what to never expect from the Scare, in the future. They discuss what it might take to be sad enough to sit in the audience of a prime time game show. Then, Scotch tickles...
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The Wheel of Torture
The boys give lukewarm explanations as to why they've been recently absent. Current affairs aren't cutting it anymore, so Teddy and Scotch devise a new plan for America, that will offset the taxes they're about regurgitate over Biden's college debt forgiveness program. It also might just be the...
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From Scotch to Shining Scotch
Scotch reveals that he's going to be touching down on the east coast, for the time, and plans to dip his icy big toe into the Atlantic, like it's a double shot of Kessler whiskey. The boys discuss why Brittany Griner might never set foot on American soil again, right after admitting to not giving…
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Are You There God, it's Me, Vengeance?
After a slight summer vacation, the boys get the band together for a brief little jam session, to kick the cobwebs off before making their triumphant return. Listen up, groupies!
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The Average Nobodies
The boys pay their respects to one of the greatest movies ever made, Goodfellas, and narrowly mention the passing of Ray Liotta. Although he's filled with hate and crap, Teddy details the importance of respecting one's opponent. Scotch gives us a healthy dose of riveting sports trivia, as they…
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Meerkat vs. Mole-Rat
The guys throw their weight around regarding their expertise about being rotund individuals, and whether or not fat men gain penis, while losing weight. The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue infuriates Teddy, but Scotch was too busy getting screwed in the drive-thru, he forgot that he's large...
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Fingertip to Wrist, in May/5 Cervezas
The boys plunge wrist deep into the annals of history by addressing the misconceptions Americans have about Cinco de Mayo. Teddy regales us with a summary of the greatest impromptu comedy lineup ever assembled, which included, Chris Rock, Leslie Jones, Jimmy Carr, Dave Attell, Jeff Ross and Dave...
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In Depp(th), with Scotch and Teddy
As Johnny Depp uses his defamation court case against his ex-wife, Amber Heard, to promote his band, The Hollywood Vampires, and his cinematic catalog, Axel Rose continues to look more and more like Danny Devito's Mama, after she got thrown from the train. Teddy's Hebrew sensibilities get saucy,...
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The United Colors of Oblivion
The guys discuss the various types of humor people display, while on the job, and what constitutes a prank versus a write-up. As they discuss the nuance of adding truffles to their dining experiences, the boys decide to throw a bone to the working poor. Scotch questions why Biden foretold that…
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"We're '86'd' Jeeps"
After over 20 years of riding dirty, Teddy shares the various treasures he found in his recently sold Jeep, one of which has sentimental value to his partner. The guys discuss the tragic existence of having to "suffer from alopecia," then delve into the nuances of Will Smith slapping the hell out...
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The Platypus, or $1.50 a Gallon?
Teddy reveals he's got the attention span of a goldfish, as he continuously counts the leaves outside of his apartment window. Scotch gives Putin credit for curing COVID, just as the invasion of Ukraine ramps up. John Cena has no balls, or maybe he does, but China's carrying them in it's purse.…
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A Penny for Your Commute, A Nickel for Your Lunch
With gas prices increasing at a record pace, the guy discuss the best ways to navigate Los Angeles traffic, and prove that Saturday Night Live was spot-on depicting the "Californians". Teddy praises McDonald's for getting back to their burger-slinging nature, and embracing menu hacks by promoting...
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The Phone-In Spectacular
The guys discuss the heartbreaking misery they feel when their respective ladies experience health problems. Scotch’s son a bona-fide bus on the football field. Although he's convinced his sense of comedy is intact, Teddy hates when people try to tell him unsolicited jokes. Then, the dips dish...
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The Joys of Sitting
Scotch details the latest developments with his adversary, Meth-a-Rella, as she's taken liberty to invite a new friend to the party. He then tiptoes on the edge of stardom and goes to scout the open night comedy club, where he plans to make his big break. Teddy describes his motivation for…
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It's Halftime
Coach Scotch straps his clipboard to his ass and tries not to crap himself as he coaches his son's youth football team. Teddy goes to NASCAR and is pleasantly surprised with all the people's die hard support for a guy named Brandon, then encourages Scotch to delve deep into the soulful sounds of...
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Are You There, Teddy? It's Me, Scotch.
The boys discuss whether or not someone's work ethic is a choice or an inherent trait. They then choose to discuss the matter of Whoopi Goldberg's opinions, for some reason. You'll then be regaled with a dynamic conversation involving two morons arguing over nothing. Listen up, or don't (who…
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Burly Bears on Love Island
Scotch shares his medical expertise and explains how his heightened immune system, from battling psoriasis, is a key factor for why he hasn't contracted covid. Teddy falls off his coastal, liberal, quasi-intellectual pedestal and divulges his new found interest and devotion for the reality show,...
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Faces of Meth
Teddy is over the moon, happy, since KFC launched their version of Beyond chicken, and he can, once again, tap back into his inherent fat-boy sensibilities. He then gets a brief tutorial from Scotch about determining the attributes of crack heads and meth addicts, as Scotch has a bombshell of a...
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The 2022 Red Scare Kickoff Spectacular!
The boys reunite for the first show of 2022, with Scotch at the genesis of fresh employment, and Teddy riddled with a fresh case of Covid. They discuss what made the show work at it's onset, 15 years ago, and how it's going work going forward, into the future. On the one year anniversary of one…
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Tolerating the Intolerant
In this blast from the 2012 past, Scotch has a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Teddy rallies against cutesy abbreviations, Kanye's got a sex tape, and the guys discuss the trials of living in 2012. Listen up, rewinds!
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The Importance of Being Gravy
The boys discuss the best parts of Thanksgiving, with the holidays quickly approaching. Ghostbusters exceeds box office expectations, as streaming movies leaves Teddy empty inside. Scotch’s love affair with Kyle Rittenhouse grows exponentially after a jury insures his freedom, and breaks down gun...
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Travis Scott Paul Rudd Rittenhouse
Better late than never, the guys get into the reasons for the delayed show and the trials which caused the postponement. Teddy saves a life, while Scotch crushes a soul. Kyle Rittenhouse cries on the stand, evoking reveries of the cowardly lion. Travis Scott rips families apart, as Paul Rudd…
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WTF WGAF GTFO With Grace and Charm
The guys go over their favorite Halloween treats and come to one solid agreement; Twizzlers are for garbage people. Teddy tells a heroic tale that goes nowhere. PETA pisses Scotch off. California congresswoman, Katie Porter, is Teddy's dream woman. The boys go over odd laws that are still on the...
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Plinking, with Alec Baldwin
Scotch details his sons fresh, new venture into baseball little league, as Teddy recalls squandering his prospects as a young tennis phenom. NASCAR's Brandon Brown unknowingly starts a new anti-Biden trend. Trump won't stop, because hey, Trump don't stop! A "funny" couple rides the "D" all the…
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Netflix v. Trans/Adele v. Chappelle/Gods v. Monsters
The show gets derailed, right out of the gate and lands in a huge pile of Netflix and trans-people. Apparently, Dave Chappelle isn't going anywhere and we have the dips, from all over, to prove it, as protests break out across the nation. The guys get into a heated discussion regarding the...
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Jon Gruden is My Daddy
As the world turns against Jon Gruden and Dave Chappelle, Teddy recalls a recent spat with a Facebook "friend". The guys discuss who's on top as the smartest fans in America. South Park continues, as does Ted Sarandos and Netflix. The boys might have grown into men on this episode, as they…
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Dave Chappelle’s Playboy Cover Audition
The guys have a backwards way of agreeing on the proper way to drink in Las Vegas. Urban Meyer apologizes for being a grown ass man. Sage Steele gets fired for being friends with Jay Cutler. The Grey Poupon lifestyle might be unattainable, but we still have the wine to look forward to. The boys...
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R. Kelly. A Reversal of Fortune
The boys rejoice in R. Kelly's conviction, by sending Scotch to Circus Circus, in Las Vegas. They tie everything in the R. Kelly case to Michael Jackson, Woody Allen, Charlie Sheen, Bill Cosby and more, in a heartbreaking expose regarding the protection of the American breadwinner. Dog, The…
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My Neck, My Back, Living Under a Bridge is Wack
The guys review, "The Dead of the Day," as George Holliday, the recorder of the Rodney King beating, and Comedian, Anthony Johnson of "House Party" and "Friday" fame, both kick the bucket. They reiterate their respective beliefs about God, review the LA riots of 1992, and realize; not much has...
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The Norm Macdonald Clip Show
The somewhat sudden passing of Norm Macdonald leaves the guys emotional, so they drop everything they planned for this episode and give an ode to the legend. On the way, they worry about Eddie Murphy's return to stand up and agree that 'Life' is the most under appreciated movie in cinema history....
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Keister Your Empathy
Teddy recounts an encounter which started as a fistfight, transferred to a shot-taking love-fest, then brought on a hypochondriac trip to the COVID testing office. The boys celebrate the life and career of Michael K. Williams, in typical Red Scare fashion, which brings up the guy's respective…
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***The Best of The Red Scare*** Scotch, the big beautiful bear?
Teddy reveals that Scotch would be a superstar in his North Hollywood gym, meanwhile Scotch shows his support for the Anaheim PD.
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Milk, It Does the Body Scotch
Teddy shares the details of his most recent bender, spawned by his deep seeded mommy issues. The guys make polarizing red and blue arguments about Afghanistan, Gavin Newsome, and the sound quality at Guns n Roses concerts. In Red Scare fashion, the boys give a heartfelt eulogy to Charlie Watts…
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Field of Plebes
The guys discuss the novice production of MLB'S Field of Dreams game and dive through the misery of Kevin Costner movies. Scotch gives his opinions regarding female comedians, then details the best comedians of all-time, while Teddy confesses his love for Brad Pitt and Paul Rudd. The boys, within…
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What's Up, My Dinger?
The guys debate the possibility of a double standard within the political system, as Andrew Cuomo resigns as Governor, and Matt Gaetz goes on a, "Screw yourself!," US tour. Lewis Brinson, of the Miami Marlins, wants the Colorado Rockies to take accountability for what he thinks he might have…
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"Don't Call Me a '***ger'!"
The guys break down the various redheaded Olympians. The spirit in the sky, is apparently, not Spirit Airlines, while in California, pigs won't fly either, as Teddy advocates for a vegetarian diet. America's labor shortage. Matt Damon and Jay-Z finally respect women because of the "daughter...
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Getting Scotched in the Drive Thru
Scotch details what it entails to avoid getting arrested in the fast food drive thru. The Tokyo Olympics are underway, and the only thing that concerns the boys is gold medal winner, and fellow redhead, Lydia Jacoby. Tom Hanks donates his credibility to helping the Cleveland Indians clean up…
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1000 Selfies of Death
Bitchfest 2021 continues, as the guys stumble out of the gate, arguing about the logistics of producing a real show. Teddy predicts that if he were a billionaire, his life and habits would barely change, as Jeff Bezos has his inaugural space launch. Scotch is alarmed at the recent emptying of the...
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Weeding Out the Cannabis
The guys discuss the potency of modern marijuana, with people now "scromitting" from being too high, and break down the tedium of the weed culture, like having to endure people regurgitating Cheech and Chong jokes. Snoop Dogg gets Jaleel White to promote Purple Urkel. Scotch voices his disdain…
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Can You See My Balls in This Dress?
Teddy makes a clarification about his homophobic confession, which makes Lil Nas X blush. Phylicia Rashad stays bound to the blind loyalty for her fictional husband. Bill Cosby is set free, Michael Avenatti is sentenced, while Britney Spears is still trapped in conservatorship. Miss Nevada,...
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Waking at the Crack of J'Ouvert
Johnny cracked corn, but Teddy doesn't care, as Scotch details his moonshine making process. Michael B. Jordan is forced to apologize, then pivot and rename his new rum brand. Beyonce's legion of stooges attempt to obliterate Trick Daddy off of Yelp. Winston Marshall quits Mumford & Sons, because...
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Can I Borrow a Cup of Suck-it?
Scotch recaps an incident where he was blindsided by a visit from the local police. The guys discuss the attributes of being a good neighbor. Pampered idiots might be running the world, so the boys weigh in on the various degrees of eating shit, in the workplace. Teddy doesn't have a healthy fear...
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Futile Pugilism
The guys discuss the Floyd Mayweather/Logan Paul exhibition and conclude that the only redeeming conversation about semi-modern day boxing, is Nintendo's best effort, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. Kanye West, in regards to the Scare, is still irrelevant. The Friends reunion cements itself as America's...
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Bring in the Understudies!
The guys reimagine what Pulp Fiction would be like, recast with Nicholas Cage, or John Cusack, instead of Eric Stoltz, or Alec Baldwin, Denzel Washington or Gary Oldman, instead of John Travolta. What if Johnny Depp was cast in Tim Roth's roll? Who knows? Well, the Scare knows that it would have...
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The Red and the Black
No, they're not talking about 19th century post-revolutionary France, The Red Scare is talking about, well, the blacks, on the one year anniversary of the murder of George Floyd. On the eve Kristen Clarke is confirmed as the new head of the DOJ's civil right division, the guys also discuss why…
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Dusty Desert Rub and Tug
The guys compose a somber requiem for Charles Grodin, which sets them on a collision course to conjuring up memories of Dustin Hoffman, Louis CK and Yahoo Serious. Joe Rogan gets worried about the future of the white male American. Teddy trips over his squeamish Judaism while addressing the...
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The For-Biden Fruit
With liberalism in one hand and a "gay beer" in the other, Teddy toasts the evolution of the Scare with a funky little concoction called, the Spaghett, as Miller High Life becomes rampantly unavailable. Elon Musk becomes an even bigger popular icon by hosting SNL. The boys discuss the influence...
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May the Sores Bewitch You
Inspired by popular dipshit wordplay of our times, the guys mull over Star Wars' popularity amongst those who were actually alive when it was a George Lucas production. Teddy's anus opens wide and gapes, hoping Scotch will stumble into a, "happy little accident". The guys discuss the common...
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Just Relax, Then Take It!
Teddy exhibits his anal retentive sensibilities by giving a tutorial on how to properly wipe, as Scotch drops a duce on the subject. Caitlyn Jenner, after robbing sympathy points from America by transitioning, might continue her spree and steal Gavin Newsome's job. The boys discuss the relaxing…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Since 2007, This Dichotomous Duo has agreed on nothing. GOP or DNC? Pitch or Catch? Top or Bottom? Listen Up, Fruits! Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theredscareOnce upon a radio station, two dudes wandered into a studio in the middle of the night. They started pressing buttons, pulling switches, and in 2007, they established, "The Red Scare." After a long awaited return, the Dichotomous Duo of Teddy & Scotch are back and they're pissed off. Listen up, fruits!
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The Red Scare
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Red Scare have?
The Red Scare currently has 70 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Red Scare about?
Since 2007, This Dichotomous Duo has agreed on nothing. GOP or DNC? Pitch or Catch? Top or Bottom? Listen Up, Fruits! Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theredscareOnce upon a radio station, two dudes wandered into a studio in the middle of the night. They started pressing buttons, pulling...
How often does The Red Scare release new episodes?
The Red Scare has 70 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to The Red Scare?
You can listen to The Red Scare on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Red Scare?
The Red Scare is created and hosted by The Red Scare.
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