PODCAST · society
The Relationship-Smart podcast
by Nicole Mathieson | Couple therapist and Relationship counsellor
Helping men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episodes
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75. We care for everyone else at our own expense with Claire Stephensen
We care for everyone else at our own expense. Have you ever felt let down by care? Like you don't quite get the care you need? Like there isn't enough to go around? and Like the whole self-care thing just puts more work on your plate? In this episode Claire and I explore: -her concept of "shame…
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74. The highs and lows of loving someone on the spectrum
There are attachment and relational impacts of loving humans on the spectrum In this episode I share: -my personal journey of living with and loving humans ont he spectrum -I explore the challenges and the flip side - the gifts that come from those challenges -I explore the benefits and positives...
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73. Healing complex trauma in relationships with Dr Zoe Vilenica
In this episode I speak to Dr Zoe Vilenica, trauma specialist and somatic practice therapist. This episode comes with a trigger warning as we will be exploring complex trauma and childhood sexual trauma. I will be asking Zoe to help us understand how trauma shows up in relationships and how it…
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72. How defensiveness creates disconnect - the difference between intent and impact
How Defensiveness Damages Intimacy (And What To Do Instead) Intent vs Impact in Relationships: Why Good Intentions Aren’t Enough Most partners are not trying to hurt each other. But here’s the truth: Good intent does not cancel out harmful impact. Join me as we unpack what is going on and how…
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71. Understanding the stories we tell ourselves about our relationships with Dr Di Harner
In this episode I speak to my colleague Dr Diane Harner, neuroscientist, counsellor and business coach. Together we explore how an understanding of neuroscience can inform us to get smarter in relationships particularly in terms of the stories we tell ourselves. We explore: -how attachment...
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70. How to understand our Love Blueprints and find relationship peace with Heidi Louise
Join me and my guest Heid Louise as we discuss her book The Love Blueprint. You can find out more about Heid here, and get a copy of her book here, or on audio here. Heidi is a Brisbane based Psychotherapist who works from a holistic and trauma informed framework. She is an experienced and...
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69. Exploring Neurodivergence in Relationship
Join my guest Helen Sheehy and I as we explore neurodiversity in the realm of relationships You can find Helen at neurodivergence.live here and you buy her book Moving Forwards, Working Backwards here too. In this episode we explore: What a strengths based approach to Neurodivergence is Why Helen...
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68. Same event, different story, Bridging the gap of your different view points
Two people can go through the same event and walk away with different stories about what happened. That’s right — same event, different story. And those different interpretations can quietly shape how we feel about each other, how safe we feel in our relationships, and even how much love we’re…
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67. The mistake we make in navigating conflict.
How are you in conflict? I hear so many clients ask me how to stop being so intense in their moments of conflict and I always answer that it is a great question, but also it is the wrong question in a way. I think we need to zoom out. Listen in as I take you through my ideas for how to do this....
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66. Why the Patriarchy makes us bitches
The Patriarchy does not serve any of us and it most definitely has it's gnarly tendrils in our homes and our relationship dynamics. The way that women respond to the patriarchal influences in our relationships is often quite bitchy. In this episode, I talk about what I mean by the Patriarchy…
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65. All the pressures on the female libido
In this episode I explore a bunch of pressures on female libido that I see over an over and yet are not commonly thought of as desire stoppers. I am hoping that this episode feels hopeful and gives you lots of options for healing and exploration where you otherwise may have been feeling stuck.…
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64. Why we don't always love your solutions
Solutions are good right? I am just trying to help. Yes, but we actually find it really frustrating when we are sharing an issue and our partner jumps straight to solutions. Why is that? What is going on here? And what do we want and need instead? Listen to this episode as we explore what is…
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63. How to be who we truly are in relationship?
In this episode, I talk to my beautiful, soulful friend Kris Franken. So many people ask me how they can find themselves, be true to themselves and still be in relationship. It can be tricky to navigate. We fear that if we change and become more true to ourselves that we will lose our partner. We...
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62. Does your partner have sex tantrums?
Does your partner have sex tantrums? How does it make you feel? How do they feel? What is going on and how do you get out of the downward spiral of need, guilt, obligation, and then less desire? Listen in as we unpack this very common dynamic, try not to generalise too much, and as I give you a…
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61. Why is intimacy so darn hard?
Intimacy (and I am not talking about sex), in my opinion is one of the hardest things in the whole world, but also, something that gives us the deepest most heart fulfilling satisfaction. Gah, what a dilemma! It would be so much easier if we could just get all operational and robotic and not have...
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Trailer - The Beauty Load podcast
Hello ,it's me Nicole Mathieson and I would like to introduce you to my brand new podcast; The Beauty Load, How to feel good enough in your body. This podcast is inspired by my book also called the Beauty Load in which I explore this exhausting pressure, anxiety and insecurity that many if not…
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60: Slow living for better relationships with Rachelle Glendon
In this episode we talk to Slow Living coach Rachelle Glendon about the benefits of concsiously slowing down on all of our relationships. In this chat we talk about; * implementing some matriachal ways, which sound so good * tips for slowing down * how slow living challenges your own unhealthy...
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059: Why body image is a relationship issue
Why is a relationship coach / therapist writing a book about body image I hear you ask? That's because the Beauty Load, body image, how we feel about ourselves and our confidence with fitting in in the world, are all relationship issues. I don't know about you but my body was front and centre as…
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058: Your man doesn't "get" your Beauty Load stress
Sometimes we feel wrong for feeling the Beauty Load, especially when our males partner's or friends just don't get it. But the stress and concern of the Beauty Load is real and in this episode I share an example that demonstrates how differently the Load is experienced, generally speaking, by…
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057: The Beauty Load intro author reading
In this special Beauty Load episode of the podcast, I am reading the first chapter (the introduction) of my new book The Beauty Load, how to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. The message of my book is basically that you feeling not "enough" about your looks is not personal, it is not...
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056: What NOT to do with trauma and big emotions
There is a lot going on in the world at the moment that can leave us feeling a bit or a lot traumatised. I am inspired to share this "what not to do" episode, because of what I see happening around me, and that is people who have been through a lot, not allowing themselves the space and nurture...
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055: How to recover from body image shame
If there is one thing the Beauty Load pressure leaves us women with, it is a sense of shame. We are shamed on so many fronts on all aspects of our body and appearance. In this episode I explore the shame, grandiosity loop and how we can get out of it to create a new culture, at least for…
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054: A few reasons why I wrote another beauty book
There are a lot of books out there about loving our body and the issues that come with it, so why have I written another book about it? In this episode I share with you my motivations for writing this book: -from my own struggles with feeling enough -to the impact the Beauty Load has on my…
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053: Managing stress in your relationship
How do you manage stress in your relationship? How does it feel when your partner is stressed? How do you respond? How do they respond to you? Stress can be a really disconnecting force in a relationship if it goes unmanaged. In this episode I share with you, how I dealt with my husband's stress...
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52: Cards to help couples reconnect
In this episode, I speak to Emily, who with her partner Sean, created Yum cards for couples. We talk about how these cards help couples reconnect and why reconnecting feels so darn yum! You can check out the cards here playyum.com For more go to nicolemathieson.com @nicole_mathieson_coach Hosted…
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051: You are not going to get rid of your suffering
You are not going to get rid of your suffering and that's okay. We do not need to be wrapped in cotton wool and protected from all the harshness to be okay, which is great, because it would probably be pretty isolating there. We are going to suffer, the trick is to not panic about it. Not to…
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050: Your libido needs you to find you a bit sexier
How does the way you look or feel in your body influence your desire? Research shows that us women, in general, need to feel ourselves sexy in order to feel desire. We need to feel sexy in our bodies, our minds, our energies and our imaginations first before we can share ourselves. Does that...
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049: Stop cementing your relationship in
We want certainty in our relationships. We say..."I'll be happy when there is a ring on my finger or we buy that house or we have kids or whatever" Which makes sense, we are human and certainty feels secure. But the cementing in (the grasping for certainty) is also the very thing creating the...
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048: Navigating break ups with Mackenzie Eason
Break ups can be devastating. They are without a doubt big events in our lives. Which is why we need Mackenzie, a break-up specialist. Mackenzie and I chat about the sometimes rough and tumultuous phase break-ups. She herself has navigated 2 very different break-ups; one toxic and one conscious…
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047: Relationships and sex after babies
So much happens to your relationship and your sex life after you have kids. Everything changes. Your roles, your sex life, how you spend your time, how you see each other and that's not to mention your expectations of each other. It is big! How do you as a couple, cope with all this change and...
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046: Gathering your toolkit
This episode comes back to the basics of how to get grounded and centred and calm ourselves down, because you know.....life. It is super important, especially in our relationships. What is in your calm-down toolkit? Connect with me via Instagram - www.instagram.com/nicole_mathieson_coach/ or drop...
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045: Self regulation is sexy part 2
Following on from Self regulation part 1, this episode explores the "how" of self regulation. How do you calm and soothe yourself so that you can be more of a rocking partner in your intimate relationships? Listen in to find out. Drop me an email [email protected] or find out more at...
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044: Self regulation is sexy part 1
Self regulation is sexy. Learning to calm and soothe yourself in your relationship is a skill that will help bring all the things to your relationship life that you want more of. In this episode I talk about the consequences of not having the capacity to self regulate. Then in the next episode,...
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043: How to manage relationships under lockdown
In this episode my colleague Ebony from Little Window counselling comes and interviews me. Ebony asks me lots of questions about how to manage our relationships in these strange times of Covid19 and lockdown. We talk about: -The types of problems that people are having in their relationships -How...
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042: Managing anxiety part 2 - connecting deeper within
Managing anxiety part 2 - Connecting deeper within How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on? There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has…
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041: Managing anxiety part 1 - Mindfulness
Managing anxiety part 1 - Mindfulness. How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on? There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has become more...
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040: Coping with the mental load
The mental load is a thing and it can cause disconnection in your most important and intimate relationships. Just this last week, I have personally been struggling with the mental load; feeling resentful, tired and cranky. I wanted to share how I dealt with the load and what strategies I have put...
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039: Communicate better in your relationship
Communication with my husband about anything that mattered used to make me want to run in the other direction. I would try to say stuff, but I would always say it in all the wrong ways and we would just end up: getting defensive and critical of each other feeling hurt & misunderstood saying…
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038: Permission to be messy with Katie Dean
Katie Dean is a woman who gives us permission to be ourselves; human. imperfect and messy. Listen as we chat about; The pressure we put on ourselves Katie's journey with breast implants How to embrace life's messiness You can find out more about Katie and grab her new book Messy over at...
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037: Aging gracefully with Sirgun Lindsay German
I am back talking to my dear friend and kundalini yoga teacher Sirgun Lindsay German. Today we are talking about aging gracefully. What happens to us as women when we are no longer pretty young things? What is our value as an older woman? How do we handle aging, menopause and growing older with...
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036: Why we are not having much sex - A letter to your husband
A letter to your husband with the reason we are not being intimate aka: having (much) sex. Hello honey, I just wanted to write and let you know a few things that I have been pondering about our sex life. Firstly, I just wanted to acknowledge you. I know that our sex life is a frustrating area of...
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035: He pulls away when I want more
Does he even care about me? When I ask for more, then he pulls away from me. As far as the dance of intimacy goes, this is a common relational pattern. It goes something like this; You feel like you need more from your partner. More reassurance, care, love & affection and you need this to be…
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034: I need you to be different with Sandi Phillips-Meyler
Whenever I am feeling stuck or like I am neck deep in the struggle, there is one thing that always helps - listening to some Abraham Hicks. There is something about the way they continually bring the message back to the simple laws of what you focus on you attract - that reminds me of my power…
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033: How numb are your lady parts? with Tamra Mercieca
Are your lady parts numb? How much feeling is down there? Tamra Mercieca is all about self-love, and she means on every level. Which means that Tamra really encourages us to love, and care for our vaginas. Tamra is the founder of Getting Naked, and Yoga for the Vagina. She is a Relationship and...
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032: Get off the orgasm train to revive your sex life
I had a revelation recently, it was that the western culture of sexuality really didn’t suit me. In fact, I am pretty sure it doesn’t suit a lot of us. What I am talking about is our sexual narrative that sex always has to have the aim of orgasm. I see it like a train on the tracks. Once we get…
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031: Sex is like food with Jacqueline Hellyer
Are you ready for my first interview in 2 years?! Yes? Good! If your partner were to feed you eggplant for dinner every night, and you didn't like eggplant, you would say something. Sadly, we don't feel as expressive in the realms of sex and intimacy. We put up with offerings we don't like, year...
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030: The chasm between us
Babe, I want to talk to you, but I can’t find the words, so I am writing to you instead. I want you to know that I am thinking of you and us. I know that you may not know this, because there is a chasm between us. It worries me. We haven’t exactly been very connected lately, have we? This letter…
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029: My partner won't go to counselling, what should I do?
He won’t go to counselling, what should I do? This is a common tale in the realms of hetero-sexual relationships. The wife wants to go to couple counselling, but the husband does not. Can it be the other way around? Absolutely it can, but the man not wanting to go, is so common it is worth...
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028: Clear relationship negativity
Clear out your relationship negativity When we talk about clearing your relationship negativity, what we are really talking about is clearing your resentment. So I am going to share with you; The 3 places where resentment really comes from The 3 destructive effects of resentment build up on your...
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027: How to find YOU in your relationship
"I feel lost in my marriage. I don't even know who I am anymore!" This is a common cry from women in my relationship coaching office. Do you feel like YOU in your relationship? Like, really who you are? It can be easy to lose yourself when you are in a long-term relationship. It can be hard to…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Helping men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
HOSTED BY
Nicole Mathieson | Couple therapist and Relationship counsellor
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Relationship-Smart podcast have?
The Relationship-Smart podcast currently has 71 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Relationship-Smart podcast about?
Helping men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
How often does The Relationship-Smart podcast release new episodes?
The Relationship-Smart podcast has 71 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to The Relationship-Smart podcast?
You can listen to The Relationship-Smart podcast on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Relationship-Smart podcast?
The Relationship-Smart podcast is created and hosted by Nicole Mathieson | Couple therapist and Relationship counsellor.
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