This Is Unusable

Welcome to an actually funny episode of this thing! Ben walked into the Guitar Center on Sunset Blvd. in Los Angeles and embarrassed himself immediately. We also talk about New Jersey, seeing extended family, anxiety, Trump, Jackass, an ad for protectjews.org, and we confuse the story of The Odyssey with the story of Oedipus Rex. Whatever. It's all Greek to me.

Holy shit! It's another episode of a podcast! Nobody has ever made one of those before! WOW I CANNOT BELIEVE WE DID THIS. WE MADE AN EPISODE OF A THING. I've included timestamps this time so you can click through it before you drop it altogether to go watch reaction content. Go ahead and fill your brain to the brim with a more successful YouTuber's garbage as opposed to ours. 0:14 intro 0:27 trash in a urinal and trash on the ground 2:30 times tables - eat dat PEMDAS, bitch! 3:05 explosions?!? 4:09 Borderlands and the Borderlands subreddit 7:05 Aussies using the word "cunt" 7:52 Rocko’s Modern Life 8:40 Saying "CUNT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN 10:00 It’s Getting Hot In Here 11:45 Ben wasted 10 minutes at CostCo doing nothing 13:18 Putting your dick in a lemon. Microscopic penis. 15:55 Communism and Tyler’s history with the Communist Party of China

Ben's brain is once again in the grips of insomnia and no sentence he utters is safe from trailing off into absolutely nothing. Nonetheless, we press on. In this episode, I don't remember what we talk about. My mind is shattered. Yeah, Ben is the one who writes these descriptions. The jig is up. I *think* we discuss: - Wikipedia - Jeffrey Epstein (briefly) - the disaster in Garden Grove, CA - the song "Summer Girls" by LFO and the origins of the band's name - the band New Kids On The Block - Mark and Donnie Wahlberg.

Welcome to another episode of whatever this is. We have officially transcended. Or something. It's in the title and it doesn't matter. This is a doozy of an episode, and by "doozy" I mean "episode". So it's an episode of an episode. Words are a helluva thing, aren't they? Sometimes they mean so much. Other times they mean absolutely nothing at all. We generally prefer the latter. In this episode we discuss: - Trazodone - Tyler's hat, what it is, and and then a further explanation of what it is because the initial explanation is utterly insufficient. - The Jamaican accent - Repetitive music like ska, reggae, and reggaeton. -Capocollo (which Ben mispronounces as "capicola") vs gabagool. - The word "finna". - The fact that the midwest accent is not really an accent but is rather just bad English because it doesn't differentiate itself enough from the general American accent to actually be considered something new. - Joe Biden and old senators - Ben's experience with an edible - The video game Panzer Dragoon

Ben has had insomnia for the better part of 4 months and is quickly losing his mind. Other things we discuss: the Wilhelm scream, the Bechtel test, insomnia, allergies, insomnia, more insomnia, Ben's insane noisy neighbor, Reese’s Pieces, reddit streaks, underwear streaks, simple solutions to simple problems, woody woodpecker, Netflix, and The Odyssey by Christopher Nolan. #comedy #podcast #insomnia

Ben already totally forgot about what went down at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. Tyler had to remind him. That's where we are with the news these days. Topics discussed: - Ben's fake vocal warmup routine - Diarrhea, constipation, and constipated diarrhea. - "Ballroom Blitz" - CT Scans - Fat people - Genetically modified organisms - Eugenics - The White House Correspondents' Dinner attempt - Black Flag and Ben's encounter with Henry Rollins - Al Gore, 9/11 and political inflection points - James Comey - Sloppy Joe Biden - Ben clipping people's hair - Pizza Gate 22:32 Tyler's Poem

Unbeknownst to most, the Pope is actually made up for a bunch of cats stacked on top of each other. We discuss Latin, things Ben enjoys, the Catholic Church, Jesus, how to say "cat" in Greek, the Portland Trailblazers, Fox News, the burning down of the White House in 1812, the band Oasis, yarmulkes, the story of Job, Sodom and Gomorrah, the movies "Amour" and "Funny Games" by Michael Haneke, the Adam Sandler movie "Click", and pizza week in Portland.

'Twas the month before May, And all through each day, Ben's nose was running: A fever of hay. Ben has some major allergy problem in this episode. Also there are some dick jokes. We talk about Seattle's cream cheese problem, Ben's neighbors, the Straight of Hormuz, a Tommy Wiseau film Tyler saw, Bosley hair restoration, unending allergies, more allergies, lots of allergies, and Tyler's newfound urinary issues.

I don't even know what to tell you. This is the absolute best episode we've made since the last one. I know I always say that, but I mean it this time. It's literally true. We talk about hats, Kanye, Iran, Passover, the Bible and much more.

Welcome to an actually edited episode of This Is Unusable. The last one wasn't edited. No apologies. In this one, we talk about eugenics, Ben's colonoscopy, and the incredibly fat airline pilot Ben had on his flight from Toronto. The guy was just incredibly fat.

We recorded this episode yesterday and Ben had no time to edit any of it. Ben talks about prepping for his (early) colonoscopy. Tyler talks about seeing Stormy Daniels. Ben now has to stop writing this and run to the toilet.

Ben talks about his missing urine test and discusses a stupid passage he read from a book on insomnia. Tyler makes strange faces that end up being funnier than anything Ben chose to talk about.

In A.D. 2026 war with Iran was beginning. Captain: What happen? Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb. All your oil are belong to us. We talk about Iran. Also Ben Affleck spilling things. 00:14 Do ants have dicks? 01:32 War with Iran 02:14 Small choices have big consequences 04:09 Why we attacked Iran 06:48 Echoes of Vietnam 08:27 The 1950s anticipated the current conflict 09:44 Ee-rahn vs Eye-Ran. Country name origins. USA. UAE. 11:30 USA is No. 1… but in what? 12:40 Ben Affleck 13:28 Ben Affleck spilling things 15:05 Spotify secret war in the South Pole 16:28 Firefighters 16:47 Nose blow ad break 17:50 Firefighting is the last honorable line of work 18:59 Xbox will die and PlayStation will prevail 20:22 Circling back to Iran 21:19 Trump is invincible 23: 33 Mixing up movies and actors 24:19 Outro

Ben gives a heartfelt apology. He also goes on an extended rant about pissing into a jug for a 24 hour urine ANALysis. All of this and more on another episode of the very successful and widely renowned podcast "This Is Unusable". 0:00 Don’t be a burro; have a churro 2:36 Pitching Chick-Fil-A to a coked-up advertising executive 3:53 Churro continued 5:22 Chaos in Puerto Vallarta 6:24 Canadian hockey team losing to Team USA 7:49 Misgendering a Down syndrome orangutan 10:20 Ben’s jug of piss mystery 18:42 Aqua Teen Hunger Force 21:55 Putting your grandparents on a rollercoaster until they die 22:58 Imploding on the Titan submersible 23:44 outro #comedy #podcast Orangutan photo credited to Thomas Furmann

Back to just 2 of us. Thank you, Robert, for your service in the last 2 episodes. We talk about Ben's egg head, Trump going to heaven, the C word, the Super Bowl, a cookie-based game that's fun for the whole family, and a certain Namibian politician with a very unusual name. 0:00 Welcome to the clown zone 1:48 Carpet diem 2:33 Ben has an egg-shaped head 3:43 Aunty Donna 5:20 C*nts 7:21 Donald Trump is going to heaven. The 8th deadly sin. 8:55 Adolf 9:33 Adolf Hitler Uunona 13:34 Super Bowl 14:11 Inappropriate kneeling 15:04 Ookie Cookie 16:04 Nose blow ad break 16:27 Ookie Cookie continued 18:03 Super Bowl continued 20:15 Trying to predict the future

Part 2 of our 2 part series with our very funny guest, Robert. We mostly talk about the Epstein files, AIDS, and the "Avatar" movies, but not necessarily in that order! 0:00 previously on “This is Unusable” 0:55 whales in "Avatar: The Way of Water" 2:35 Whale goop making grandma live forever sounds like a nightmare 3:45 Logan’s Run 4:29 70s vs 80s movies - big hair 5:27 AIDS and The 1980s 6:19 AIDS 6:52 All AIDS all the time. 7:55 AIDS, AIDS and more AIDS 8:25 The real miracle of Christmas: Forrest Gump jogged AIDS away. 9:25 It all comes back to AIDS. “Philadelphia” 11:19 The AIDS-ies (80s) 12:13 EPSTEIN FILES 12:48 ELON MUSK AND THE EPSTEIN FILES 19:16 wealthy people and trickle-down economics 20:26 Bill Gates email draft by Epstein 22:57 Unobtainium and back to Avatar 24:16 “The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince” 26:09 release the files

This is part 1 of a 2 part series. For the first time on This Is Unusable, we have a guest! His name is Robert and he's hilarious. We talk about Jeffrey Epstein, milk pasteurization being too woke, tuba thefts, anime, Dave Matthews band, the Avatar movies and bunch of other random stuff. Tune in next week for Part 2 of The Oopstein Files, in which we delve even further into the release of the Epstein files! (we also talk about Elon Musk) 0:42 Meet our guest, Robert 1:44 Pasteurization is woke 2:58 The Oopstein Files 6:14 Band class 7:00 fake playing a clarinet that isn’t there. 9:00 a rash of tuba thefts 10:19 mariachi band 10:55 Flavor Flav 11:41 Hentai 12:25 One Piece 12:55 10 years ago Ben binged 800 episodes of One Piece and deeply regrets it. Sincerely, Ben. 13:27 Robert makes an excellent point 14:44 Dave Matthews 15:37 Wikipedia article—that one part 16:22 Tyler’s light goes out twice 17:11 Ben is out of ideas 18:08 the main goal in life is to fill data centers 19:02 Tyler’s light goes out a third time 19:34 A.I. vibe shifts 20:12 Robert has no sympathy for the Navi of Avatar 22:33 the real reason for the new Avatar movie #comedy #podcast #epsteinfiles

This is surely the greatest episode we've ever made since the last one. We discuss sleep problems, the real meaning of CPAP, paintings, a trip to the DMV, and most importantly, how Grok's seemingly deeply ingrained misogyny will eventually send a rocket to Mars. Timestamps: 0:00 “Your mom’s a microphone.” 1:08 Ben is a total child 2:00 What CPAP actually stands for 3:08 stand-up comedy on an airplane 4:07 “His Dork Material” 4:54 Tyler’s painting 6:51 Discussion of a creepy painting of a child in front of a fireplace. 7:38 Being a bald person at the DMV 9:36 What we think of ourselves vs. what we actually are. 10:29 superiority at the DMV 11:20 unplugged from the matrix but still bald 11:47 nose blow brought to you by problematic tweets 12:58 a rocket fueled by misogyny. 14:00 Grok you like a hurricane 14:24 Hanging dong to get to the moon 16:11 Minneapolis 16:29 panic attacks

Well if it ain't the best damn episode since our last one! I try to get us to talk about the time we were in marching band together, but we take plenty of detours on the way there, as you can see from these deluxe timestamps: 0:00 The Great American Experiment 2:28 OJ Simpson’s glove 4:00 Marching band false start 5:15 Co-HAIR-ent-ing 6:00 The RING light curse 6:51 Not talking about Minneapolis 7:47 Greenland and the Ghosts of Dick Cheney and Henry Kissinger 8:45 There’s nobody in heaven 10:13 NFL conference championships that have already happened but hadn’t yet happened when we recorded this 11:13 What if nobody wins the Super Bowl 12:44 Actual marching band discussion 14:24 Discussing clarinet 16:19 More marching band 17:17 You call that yelling? I’ll show you yelling. 18:11 Old Yelling. 18:41 AI Kristy Noem and AI Matt Damon 20:04 More marching band 21:14 Tripping over words in attempting to end the episode, more football discussion #podcast #comedy #marchingband

Venezuelan oil. Hair oil. Baby oil. Greenland being made into a giant theme park. "Wrap" battles. The City of St. Louis. All of this (and more) on another episode of This Is Unusable.

Happy new year! This is the best episode we've uploaded since 2025! Which means it's our first episode of 2026. We talk about The Prince of Persia, bidets, homelessness in Portland, World War 2, modern art, reggaeton, and much, much more! #comedy #podcast #reggaeton

The best episode since our last episode. It's the end of the year. Tyler dressed up. Ben did not. Tyler had a bottle of apple cider ready on hand. Ben had a salt shaker. And thus we toasted the greatest year ever for our podcast. We talked about what would make next year worst, what might improve things going forward, and a whole lot of other random crap. #podcast #comedy #newyear

Wow! It's the best episode since our last episode! Merry Christmas! We talk about the Grinch, Jesus, the Epstein files, how awful A.I. is, and how you ultimately need to embrace your A.I. overlords. Just embrace it, you idiot. Just do it. Just embrace it. Embrace artificial intelligence so that it can then make you artificially intelligent. Just do it. Do it. Idiot.

This is most definitely our best episode since the last one. We talk about butts, the one time Ben spoiled a soccer game for his friends, the increasing speed at which trends rise and fall, the movie RRR, the stock market, and we finish with Ben doing a bad Scottish accent and propositioning Ewan McGregor.

Our best episode since our last episode. It's literally impossible to come up with ideas for this show. So Ben used a random-thing-generator as a way to figure out what to discuss. The results are really dumb. #comedy #podcast #banana

The Department of Government Efficiency is gone. We mourn it appropriately. Also, Tyler has a hat that allegedly fits his head but doesn't actually look like it does. Also, China has a lot of people and so does India. Ben tries an Australian accent a few too many times and never quite nails it. #comedy #podcast #DOGE #tattoos

Our best episode since our previous episode. We mainly talk about 2 things: 1) An insulting reddit advertisement for Hims hair loss treatment that makes us feel like total failures in life. 2) The new TV show Pluribus. Timestamps: 1:39 insulting ad for HIMS. 9:18 Pluribus

21st episode! We talk about fear! Or we try to, anyway. We get sidetracked and talk about Bill Cosby, wine, Chanukah gelt, and dreidels. Pretty dumb stuff. And by "dumb" I mean "not dumb". #comedy #podcast #fear

Our 20th episode! On this episode we talk about the concept of fun but it quickly devolves once Tyler pokes simple holes in Ben's arguments. Then we move on to talking about The Witcher, wine, Japanese whiskey, and, finally, other liquids. #podcast #comedy #witcher

Episode 19. Happy Honda Days and Toyotathon! We talk about the bubonic plague, weird things Tyler has said that he doesn't remember, John Travolta, going bald, dementia, and we establish my official nose blowing segment. At the end we discuss what goes into a McRib (hint: it's babies). #comedy #podcast

Welcome to another episode of Bris Is Unusual. In today's episode, we discuss plot holes in movies. But before we discuss that, we talk about koala chlamydia. #podcast #comedy #movies

Hello there! Introverts and extroverts! We talk about them! Ben is an introvert and it's not fun. We also talk about Jurassic Park and Tyler's trip to Japan. #podcast #comedy #jurassicpark

A most unusable episode this week. We discuss airlines, a hole in Ben's apartment window that he had for an entire winter, fish jerky, and finally, the clarinet. It's a good 'un. Because I say so.

We're both getting over colds in this video. We discuss illness, bad drivers, and watching family grow up. And by "discuss" I mean Ben talks for most of the video and Tyler mostly listens and chimes in occasionally, which is not good podcasting etiquette. At all. Ben will do better next time. Ben promises. I promise.

The Unusables are back with another episode of swashbuckling adventure on the high seas. Except there's none of that. In this episode: Mayonnaise. A movie about a reluctant Pope. The second installment in our long-running segment "Oh Look! A Book!" Eventually, the episode ends--but not before everything in it is shown. #podcast #comedy #mayonnaise

Getting your hopes up at Starbucks. Bingo. Crosswords vs. word searches. Lots of premium content here on This Is Unusable.

Episode 12. This is a really heavy one. We discuss past traumas, finding ways to heal, spirituality, and just kidding we're all all over the place as usual. Y2K. Jesus. Oreos. Ben blows his nose 3 times. Also somehow Tyler got his hair back. It's almost as if we recorded these episodes a very long time ago and then uploaded them out of order.

You'll never guess who accidentally shaved his head. Ben laughed so hard it made his asthma flare up.

Oh well hello there. It's our 10th episode and we just hit 20 subscribers. That's 2 subscribers per episode. Hell yeah! In this episode, Tyler and I discuss an epiphany I had about how self-critical I am. We also judge books by their covers and we talk about the aging process in different animals. Some animals live 200 years. Some live 15. It's weird. Watch us be dumb. Do it. #podcast #comedy #books

Technology. Is it? Is it not? Find out, briefly, on this podcast. Also, we expose the actual reason the pyramids were built. Also, Kanye West. As usual, we're all over the place in this episode and we wouldn't--and really, can't--have it any other way. It is a struggle. 0:07 Technology is improving our lives 2:11 Jesus is an AI construct 2:42 The pyramids were actually the first wifi router 4:15 The Jews throughout history 5:39 Bricks 6:38 Kanye/Cannes Yay 10:03 Yea or nay 10:38 English 11:20 “Thou” is making comeback 12:23 Education 12:59 Bald people in the military 13:40 Propecia pun 14:23 Not a bad episode 15:25 What is and is not pizza

The title says it all. And by "all" I mean "absolutely nothing". Just watch (or listen) to the thing because it's pretty funny. We talk about how I stupidly twisted my ankle, blue Gatorade, "Event Horizon", America Online, Electronic Gaming Monthly, DOGE... the subjects just change constantly but it's only 20 freaking minutes out of your whole life so what have you got to lose? (aside from 20 minutes and a few brain cells) Timestamps: 0:22 Ben twisted his ankle 2:24 head shaver 3:06 mail order wife 3:30 sex is obsolete: getting stuff done. that’s the new sex 4:10 blue Gatorade 5:15 Event Horizon 7:40 The Truman Show 9:37 nose blow/ ad break/jibjab 10:50 America Online 12:55 Electronic Gaming Monthly 13:55 SNL 50th 14:20 DOGE: now that’s what I call savings 15:05 Leet speak 16:44 The Conan and Jordan Show 17:42 MAKE AGAIN GAKE AGAIN 19:06 Tyler clogged Ben's parents' toilet 15 years ago and they still haven't forgiven him.

Cleaning your place sucks. Cleaning anything sucks. We tried to limit this episode to the discussion of a single subject (cleaning up). We failed! 00:52 Grok gone wild 02:06 Asimo 02:32 that point in the show 04:13 cleaning 05:05 Tide clean pods 05:56 cleaning 06:33 Portland and Canadian accents 07:29 middle coast of Canada 08:39 2 eyed cyclops 09:29 Ben feels like a creep 11:34 Tyler's take on cleaning 12:30 Deeply closeted abortionist 13:48 Ad break: the letter Q 14:11 Ben can’t talk good 15:00 REBRANDING 16:28 I suppose that’s one way to end a podcast

Tyler can write poems off the top of his head and he does so at 3:30. We talk about toaster strudels, "sharing" and "family" sized food items, fuel efficient cars in the apocalypse, and then I talk about the time I watched somebody ski straight into a pole.

Our fifth episode! Ben complains about his tiny hands. Tyler wants to make the Marines aquatic again. He coins the term "speech of words" and we discuss umlauts, streaming service ads, and other random crap all throughout. We end things with with an amazing pun from Tyler.

Our fourth episode! Are we living in a simulation? Are there thoughts you will never have? Find out in episode 4 of THIS IS UNUSABLE.

Enjoy our third episode! We talk about tattoos, weird idioms, and the fact that, somehow, Tyler has NEVER EATEN A BIG MAC EVER.

WOW. Our second episode is all over the place! I added a few voice-over moments in order to make it all make sense. Oftentimes a project comes together while editing, but one could actually argue this actually fell apart while editing. Incredible! It's almost literally unusable. But not quite.

The first episode of This Is Unusable, a podcast created by friends Ben Steinberg and Tyler Martin.

Preview/trailer of new podcast that comes out July 2nd.