Unbottled

Send us Fan MailStep Two stops being a scary sentence when we treat it like a doorway to hope instead of a test of religion. I break down what “higher power” and “restore us to sanity” really mean, and why willingness is enough to start. • why Step Two makes people freeze and how “came to believe” gives you time • how a higher power can be God, the group, nature, honesty, or community • what “sanity” means in sobriety as irrational thinking around alcohol • why alcoholism pushes isolation and how recovery pushes connection • the difference between belief and willingness and why willingness wins • what restoration can look like in real life, one honest choice at a time Every morning, say one simple sentence: Help me stay sober today. At night, say: Thank you for keeping me sober today.

Send us Fan MailWe kick off our summer 12-step series with Step One and tell the truth about why “powerless” feels so offensive. We reframe it as relief and strategy, name what unmanageability can look like in real life, and offer questions to help you decide what you already know. • why the word powerless triggers our need for control • powerlessness as “once I start, something changes” • the rule-making phase and the myth of controlled drinking • mental gymnastics as a full-time job with no benefits • unmanageability that looks quiet: shame, anxiety, secrecy, irritability • surrender as wisdom, not humiliation or weakness • grief for alcohol and grief for the fantasy of drinking normally • what Step One looks like day to day: meetings, texting someone, pouring it out, not buying it • questions to reflect on: trust, relationships, sleep, health, mood, money, self-respect • reminders about support: AA meetings, counselors, recovery groups, doctors, therapists, medical caution with withdrawal If you like this kind of real talk, but want it with a little more life, laughter, and what are we even doing here? Energy, come listen to Inside Marcy's Mind. Check in aging aphysics. Hugs and kisses go out and do something positive. 

Send us Fan MailI break down the AA promises in plain English and talk about why they can sound impossible when you are new and hurting. I share how they unfold over time through honesty, support, and real life, not perfection. • the AA promises coming from the Big Book after Step Nine • why early sobriety makes the promises feel unrealistic • freedom from obsession, hiding, and morning panic • shame and regret shifting into perspective and growth • serenity as calm that does not come from escaping • fear of people and money worries easing with honest living • learning to pause and respond instead of react • why the promises are gradual and not automatic • the deeper message that you do not have to stay stuck forever You can also find everything, episodes, updates, and more on my website, marcybackhusmedia.com You can write to me there, and I would love to hear from you.

Send us Fan MailWe break the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps down into plain English so they feel like a path instead of a threat. We trade perfection for honesty and explain how step work supports long-term sobriety by treating the thinking and pain under the drinking. • why the 12 steps sound scary at first and how we soften the fear • the steps as a framework for healing relationships and changing thinking • why words like inventory, defects, amends, and higher power trigger people • a simple translation of Steps 1 through 12 • why Step Four is about patterns not self-hatred • why Step Five reduces shame by ending secrecy • amends as accountability without causing more harm • daily maintenance and staying connected through reflection or spirituality • service as a tool for staying sober • why you do the steps slowly and revisit them over time You can also find everything, episodes, updates, and more on my website, Marcybacchusmedia.com. On my website, marcybackhusmedia.com is a link to Alcoholics Anonymous. There's also a link to Al Anon if you have a person in your life that has a drinking problem. 

Send us Fan MailRelapse is the topic most people in recovery whisper about, even though it’s one of the most common turning points in sobriety. I’m Marcy, and I’m going to say the quiet part out loud: relapse is usually not a random moment of chaos. It often starts weeks earlier with isolation, stress, resentment, exhaustion, and the slow drift away from support. When we understand that, relapse prevention becomes less about willpower and more about spotting patterns early.We walk through the kind of relapse thinking that sounds smart in the moment “I can handle one,” “It wasn’t that bad,” “Nobody would know” and why your brain can feel so convincing when it wants comfort. I share what has kept me grounded in long-term recovery, why connection beats secrecy, and why disappearing after a slip is the most dangerous move you can make. If you’ve relapsed recently, I want you to hear this clearly: you are not starting from scratch. You are starting from experience.We also talk to the people who love someone in recovery. Shaming doesn’t create change, it pushes people deeper into addiction. Support can look like helping someone get to a meeting, finding therapy, and making space for honest conversation without excuses or humiliation. Recovery is complicated, human, and rarely a straight line. It’s returning, recommitting, learning, adjusting, and trying again.If this lands close to home, listen, share it with someone who needs it, and then take one small action toward connection today. Subscribe to Unbottled, leave a review, and tell me: what’s the earliest sign you’re drifting away from your sobriety?

Send us Fan MailWe kick off our AA series by taking the fear out of the Big Book and talking about why it still helps people get sober and stay sober nearly 90 years after it was first published. We share how to approach the language, the stories, and the process without trying to be perfect, so you can focus on growth and real support. • why we start the AA series with the Big Book • what the Big Book is and why it got that nickname • why lived experience beats theory in alcohol recovery • how stories create connection and reduce shame • how to handle outdated language without losing the message • what happened at my first Big Book meeting and why small meetings can help • the main parts of the book: the Doctor’s Opinion, stories, and the 12 steps • how to read it in chunks, use it with a sponsor, and treat it like a tool If you're loving these conversations, I have two other podcasts you need to check out. You can find everything, every episode, updates, and more on my website, marcybackusmedia.com. 

Send us Fan MailWe start a new AA-focused chapter of Unbottled and get real about why “90 meetings in 90 days” keeps showing up in early sobriety. I share how daily meetings helped me survive the trigger-heavy first months, build a routine, and stay sober one day at a time for 38 years. • why I’m shifting into AA-focused episodes and what AA offers • what “90 meetings in 90 days” actually is and why it’s a suggestion • how early sobriety triggers work and why the first 90 days feel shaky • using meetings to replace bar time and home-drinking time • repetition as a way to build habits, routine, and stability • familiar faces and real accountability that keeps you connected • giving a meeting three tries before you decide it’s not for you • permission to be imperfect, leave early, stay quiet, and still count it • common resistance thoughts and how they keep people stuck • trying different meetings and deciding based on experience If you ever want to get a hold of me, [email protected]

Send us Fan MailNot everyone in our life will love the sober version of us, especially when our “no” forces other people to look at their own habits. We talk about why this pushback happens, how to set boundaries without a speech, and how to let go of relationships that only worked when we were drinking. • why some people want the old version back • how sobriety can feel like you become “the problem” • the subtle ways pressure shows up at parties and events • setting boundaries even when it feels uncomfortable • reframing boundaries as protecting your peace • simple phrases to shut down pushy questions • outgrowing environments and relationships as part of growth • finding support through AA, Al-Anon, and community On my website, marcybackhusmedia.com. I have a link to Al Anon and I have a link to AA. If you're wondering, if you're seeking, if you are someone supporting someone, click those links, get yourself some help 

Send us Fan MailSobriety doesn’t just change what we drink, it changes how people treat us and how we move through rooms that used to feel normal. We name the confusing reactions from friends and family, then share ways to set boundaries and protect our recovery without turning it into a fight. • the three common “camps” loved ones fall into before we quit drinking • why people stay silent or joke even when they’re worried • how unintentional enabling can happen at home and in friendships • what shifts fast once we’re sober and why it can unsettle others • the remarks that sound small but can be triggering • a simple reframe: most people don’t know how to help • how we can clearly state boundaries so others can relax • why AA open meetings can help families understand recovery • why Al‑Anon matters when you love someone with alcohol addiction • why relationships changing is clarity, not failure If you're loving these conversations, I do have two other podcasts. You need to check them out. You can find everything, episodes, updates, and more on my website, MarcyBacchusmedia.com, Marcy with a Y, Backhus with a CK, Marcybackhusmedia.com, and obviously where everybody gets their podcasts. 

Send us Fan MailI get honest about the question “Do I really need AA?” and why the real issue is what keeps us sober when motivation drops. I share what worked for me in Alcoholics Anonymous, why going it alone can get risky fast, and how you can build support that fits your life.• the appeal of quitting drinking on your own and why it sometimes works• why relying on the same brain that got you here can lead back to relapse• what AA actually offers beyond myths about cults or forced belief• accountability and community as protection when motivation disappears• my early sobriety story and what 38 years sober has taught me• the danger of “I’ve got this” and the quiet drift away from support• practical support options including AA, therapy, online community and trusted friends• questions to ask yourself if you keep going back to drinkingYou can find everything, episodes, updates, and more on my website, which is marcybacchusmedia.com. You can also email me at marcybacchusmedia at gmail.com.

Send us Fan MailThe fastest way to lose someone who needs sobriety support is to say one word: God. I get it. For a lot of us, that word comes with baggage, judgment, rules, or old wounds, and it can make Step Two and Step Three feel like a deal-breaker before recovery even has a chance. So I’m going to talk about the God thing plainly, gently, and without turning it into a sermon. I share why I’m comfortable with God, why many people are not, and the line I once said to a friend that helped her stay open: “I can lend you my God until you have one that works for you.” Then we reframe what AA actually asks for a “power greater than yourself” not a specific religion, not a specific name, and not something you have to perform or explain. Your higher power can be nature, the beach, the universe, the rooms full of sober people, peace, love, or simply the idea of something bigger than your current struggle. We also get practical about why a higher power matters for relapse prevention and daily sobriety: it takes pressure off your nervous system, gives you somewhere to put the hard stuff, and helps most when willpower is gone at the end of a brutal day. If you’re still resisting, I offer three simple questions to help you find a starting point without forcing a label. If this hits home, share this with someone who’s stuck on the God piece, subscribe for more real-talk recovery, and leave a review so more people can find us.

Send us Fan MailWe move from the first days of quitting to the real work of staying sober, where willpower fades and support becomes the difference maker. I explain why doing recovery alone turns into isolation and how connection, meetings, and sponsorship keep you honest when your brain starts bargaining. • shifting from starting sobriety to staying sober • why “I should do this alone” becomes isolation • how the brain minimizes, justifies, and rewrites the past • what real support can look like through meetings and check-ins • why this podcast helps but cannot replace real connection • what a sponsor is and what a sponsor is not • common fears about sponsorship and how to normalize them • simple ways to ask for a sponsor and choose someone who resonates • staying sober through daily choices, honesty, and asking for help If you're liking this kind of conversation, make sure you check out my other podcasts. I have Inside Marcy's Mind, I do life hacks, everyday systems, and things that make life easier. I have my other podcast called Aging A For Sissies. You can find both wherever you're listening.

Send us Fan MailDay 31 can feel calmer on the outside while your mind quietly starts negotiating in the background. I talk about why the space after the first 30 days can be uncomfortable, and how support and structure help you stop surviving and start building. • why the first 30 days feel intense and why that matters • what changes after day 30 and why “space” can feel scary • how the brain turns relapse into “reasonable” logic • why doing sobriety alone can be harder than it needs to be • what AA is at its core: one alcoholic talking to another • what an AA meeting feels like and how you can just listen • my first meeting story and how connection keeps me coming back • bringing it back to today with one small sober action If you're enjoying this kind of real, honest conversation, you might want to check out my other podcasts, too. I have Inside Marcy's Mind, where I talk about life hacks, things nobody teaches you, and how to make everyday life just run smoother. If I've become your friend through this podcast and you want to hear me a little bit more, here's another one: Aging Aim for Sissies. You can find both wherever you're listening right now. I also have a website, Marcybackusmedia.com. You can email me at [email protected]. I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to hear your stories. If you're struggling, reach out. I'm happy to help.Email- [email protected] marcybackhusmedia.com

Send us Fan MailWe break down what the first 30 days without alcohol actually feel like, from your body recalibrating to your emotions coming back online. We share why the early month can feel like a roller coaster and how patience, support, and simple tools help you keep moving forward.• how sleep, stress hormones, and energy shift after you stop drinking• why early sobriety can bring fatigue, headaches, and mood swings• how alcohol numbs feelings and why emotions can surge when you quit• using meetings or a support system when feelings feel overwhelming• how routines and triggers drive cravings and why cravings pass• practical ways to pause and change your environment• what clarity looks like in relationships, stress, and boundaries• unexpected gifts like time, money, pride, and better sleep• rebuilding self-trust through daily sober choices• why persistence matters more than perfection and how to respond to slipsIf this episode helped you today, share it with someone who might need to hear it.email: [email protected] website: marcybackhusmedia.com

Send us Fan MailFear has a way of getting loud the moment change becomes real. We name that fear without flinching and walk through the questions that slam your mind when you picture life without alcohol: how will I relax, who will I be, will my friends still feel like home. Instead of treating those questions as proof you can’t, we unpack why your brain clings to the familiar and how to move anyway—one ordinary day at a time.We get honest about identity. Alcohol often sneaks into how we describe ourselves—the fun one, the regular, the unwind-after-work person. Pulling it out can feel like pulling out a thread that holds your whole story together. Here’s the truth: sobriety doesn’t delete your personality; it reveals it. Real connection gets stronger. Relationships built on rounds may slip away, and that stings, but what stays tends to be richer, quieter, and far more real. We also talk about the fear of feeling—how numbing pain also numbs joy—and why letting emotions back online is uncomfortable at first and deeply healing over time.You’ll hear practical ways to ride out the tough hours: swap the after-work ritual, script simple lines for social events, track sleep and moods to see real progress, and lean on support you trust. We explain the brain’s bias for familiar discomfort, why fear spikes at the edge of change, and how that spike often signals transformation, not danger. You don’t have to imagine forever. You just need today. We close with a preview of what the first 30 days can look like—sleep shifts, big feelings, and the first signs that your life is turning toward freedom.If this resonated, follow the show, share it with someone who needs a steady voice, and leave a review so more people can find their first day. What would your life look like if alcohol wasn’t in charge anymore?

Send us Fan MailWe explore the quiet turning point when discomfort becomes enough to change, and how honesty can start sobriety long before catastrophe. Marcy shares her Monday-morning decision, the reality of mental gymnastics, the role of fear, and why one private step can open a wider future.• sobriety as a choice before bottom• the quiet moment that signals change• personal story of the first meeting and early days• mental negotiations and the courtroom in your head• the myth that you must suffer to qualify• fear of identity, friends, and 5 p.m. routines• permission to keep early sobriety private• one honest day at a time as a method• awareness as strength, not weakness• practical next steps and resourcesIf this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need to hear itYou don’t have to hit bottom to choose betterYou don’t have to implode to evolveAnd you don’t have to do this alone.comOn my website, you can listen to my other podcasts, but I also want you to know the link to AA is thereReach outIf you need help, reach out todayIf you’re not ready, keep listeningTake what I’ve said, work with it, live with itAnd around here we tell the truth so we can live free

Send us Fan MailWe explore how sobriety grows beyond not drinking and into daily emotional work, honest self-reflection, and real freedom. Marcy shares tools for handling control, resentment, identity shifts, and non-linear growth, grounded in 38 years of experience.• alcohol as symptom, not root• emotional sobriety and the power of the pause• control as a sneaky substitute for drinking• resentment as slow poison and how to release it• identity after alcohol and choosing who to be• growth as non-linear, progress over perfection• practical tools: meetings, sponsors, inventories, amends• willingness and honesty as the core of change• simple next steps for early sobrietyIf this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need itGo to my website, Marcybackismedia.comThere is a link to Alcoholics Anonymous there

Send us Fan MailWe share practical tools for early sobriety that replace chaos with calm and make nights safer. Meetings, routine, connection, HALT, and a progress mindset turn empty space into steady ground.• meetings as rhythm, accountability, and social support• 90-in-90 and online options across time zones• building a weekly meeting mix for different needs• routine to reduce evening risk and decision fatigue• phone list as real invitation to connect• HALT to meet basic needs before cravings grow• progress over perfection and keep it simple• patience and one-tool-at-a-time momentumRemember, stay curious, stay connected, stay unbottled

Send us Fan MailWe break down the real purpose of AA sponsorship and why connection gives you a better chance at lasting sobriety. Practical tips, plain language, and zero pressure on how to choose, ask, and change sponsors if you need to.• why isolation fuels drinking and connection supports recovery• what a sponsor is and how they help• what a sponsor is not and common misconceptions• how to spot steady sobriety and red flags• simple scripts for asking someone to sponsor you• why it’s okay to change sponsors over time• how meetings normalize your story and reduce shame• upcoming tools for early sobriety and routinesYou can email me at [email protected]. Take what helps and leave the rest. You don’t have to do this alone.

Send us Fan MailWe slow down the phrase “one day at a time” and turn it from a cliché into a practical tool for real-life sobriety. Fear of “forever” gives way to daily choices, flexible plans, and honest connection.• why forever thinking fuels anxiety and stalls progress• how one day at a time lowers pressure and restores control• what the phrase does not mean and what it actually means• practical containment tactics for hard moments• using hours, meetings, and calls when a day is too long• building social support and replacing old routines• humility, honesty and staying present as long-term strategy• teaser for next topic on sponsorshipYou can reach me at [email protected] if you have questions or want to share your story

Send us Fan MailFear loves the unknown, which is why a first AA meeting can feel like a leap into the dark. We open the door and let you look around before you walk in: the simple format, the rhythms of a typical room, and the many ways you can participate without pressure. I share why open and closed meetings exist, what happens at speaker and discussion formats, and how online meetings can be a low-friction starting point if walking into a physical room feels like too much right now.Together we unpack the most common worries—being made to talk, crying in front of strangers, seeing someone you know—and replace them with clear options and boundaries. You’ll hear how anonymity protects your privacy, why “I’m just here to listen today” is always enough, and how to decide if a meeting is your fit by trying it three times. Instead of chasing rock-bottom stories, we focus on the quiet signals that matter more: familiar thoughts, shared feelings, and the small “me too” moments that spark honest change.This is sobriety as a human practice, not a performance—real people, real choices, real support. Whether you’re sober curious, newly sober, returning after a break, or simply trying to understand your relationship with alcohol, this guide offers calm, practical reassurance and concrete steps. If today isn’t the day, that’s okay. When you’re ready, the door will still be there, and you’ll know what to expect. If this helped, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a quick review so others can find their way to the room.

Send us Fan MailWe lay out what AA is, what it isn’t, and how to try it without pressure or labels. The goal is to trade fear for facts and open a path to support that actually fits your life.• why AA shows up early when you explore sobriety• how fellowship works: sharing, not advice or policing• availability of in‑person and 24/7 online meetings• what AA is: self‑supporting, peer‑led, accessible• what AA is not: religious, a cult, or mandatory• finding fit: women‑only, men‑only, LGBTQ, atheist meetings• suggestions vs rules: sponsor, steps, 90 in 90• structure, shared language, and hope as core benefits• permission to listen quietly and leave what doesn’t fit• AA as one path among many to recoveryYou can find all three of my podcasts wherever you get your podcasts, Spotify, Apple, all the usual suspects. You can also go to Marcybackismedia.com and listen to any of my podcasts, any of the episodes.

Send us Fan MailThe turning point isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s the quiet morning you wake up done with broken promises, tired of negotiating with yourself, and ready to see what life looks like without alcohol calling the shots. We open up about the subtle signs that drinking takes too much space—mental loops, “I’ll stop tomorrow” bargains, and that feeling of relief when you imagine not having to manage it anymore.From there, we break down the biggest blockers: comparison that keeps you stuck because you’re “not as bad as so-and-so,” fear of labels that feels heavier than your truth, and the myth that you must choose forever on day one. Instead, we offer a practical, compassionate approach: try a short break, focus on today, and track what actually changes—sleep, mood, energy, and clarity. We talk openly about mixed emotions too, how relief and grief can sit side by side, and why that’s a normal part of releasing something that once felt like a friend.We also share why support beats white-knuckling. You’ll hear what AA really is (and isn’t), how to sample meetings without pressure, and why three visits to the same group can make a difference before you decide. If AA isn’t your path, we point to other supportive options—online communities, therapy, and peer groups—because the common thread in lasting sobriety is real human connection. By the end, you’ll leave with small, doable steps, language that reduces shame, and a simple plan to move from curiosity to action at your own pace.If something in you paused while reading this, let that pause matter. Hit follow, share this with someone who needs a gentle nudge, and leave a review to help others find the show. What’s the one small step you’ll try today?

Send us Fan MailWhat if sobriety isn’t about quitting a substance but about noticing the patterns that keep you numb, busy, or seeking approval? We open the door to a wider view of recovery that includes alcohol, yes, but also food, shopping, work, and the endless chase for gold stars. Instead of shaming, we get practical: simple tools that create awareness, repair what’s frayed, and bring real relief when life turns up the pressure.We break down how an honest inventory can locate the small ruptures—missed promises, sharp words, avoidance—so you can turn apology into actual repair. We sit with the idea of surrender as a grounded choice, whether your higher power is God, the ocean, or the quiet steadiness of a tree in your yard. These moves shift the nervous system from fight to steadier presence, and they’re useful whether you’re newly sober, sober-curious, or just tired of running on fumes. Instead of brittle New Year resolutions, we lean into intentions that support learning and momentum. Curiosity replaces punishment so you can stay in the game when a lapse happens.You’ll also hear what’s coming next: a step-by-step tour through the Twelve Steps in plain language, a simple guide to AA traditions, honest talks on boundaries that hold, aging while sober, relationships that can bear truth, and the daily practice of joy. Expect zero purity tests and plenty of practical insights. Open AA and speaker meetings are highlighted as accessible spaces to learn life skills even if alcohol isn’t your main struggle, because the pressure is universal and the toolkit travels.If this resonates, follow along, subscribe, and share with someone who might need a gentler path. Tell us what you want explored next and the tools you’re trying this week—your story helps shape where we go.

Send us Fan MailWe reflect on what 38 years of sobriety actually looks like: not a perfect life, but a practiced one rooted in awareness, service, and community. We share how AA provided structure, why emotional sobriety matters most, and how these tools apply to any “too loud” habit.• who this podcast is for and why belonging matters• why one day at a time still works• differences between getting sober in 1988 and today• many paths to sober without judgment• the role of service, structure and accountability• steps as tools and traditions as protection• higher power as personal anchor, not religion• emotional sobriety beyond abstinence• real life: illness, family, work and temptation• next up: sobriety as a life practiceIf this podcast resonates, follow or subscribe, share it with someone who might need it, and remember you don't have to have all the answers to start living unbottled

Send us Fan MailThe noise gets loud—on our phones, at the bar, in our heads. We kicked off Unbottled to cut through that noise and talk about sobriety the way it actually feels: messy, honest, and full of second chances. Marcy shares why she started this show, how 38 years of sobriety have shaped her life, and why she refuses to make recovery a punishment. If you’re sober curious, newly sober, or simply tired of waking up thinking “I did it again,” this conversation meets you where you are.We explore a simple, powerful reframe: sobriety isn’t about what you stop doing; it’s about what finally gets quiet enough to hear. That quiet reveals three gifts—clarity, choice, and space. Clarity lifts the “wet wool blanket” off your mind. Choice returns agency so you can decide how to spend your time, money, and energy. Space lets you show up at parties, games, and family dinners without planning your next escape. Along the way, Marcy unpacks why periodic drinking can still be alcoholic, how AA became a life-saving tool, and why it’s not the only door. The lens widens beyond alcohol to the other loud habits—over-scrolling, overworking, sugar, shopping—and how swapping the noun keeps the principles intact.You’ll hear personal context that grounds the show: growing up in the Valley, early blackout drinking, the first AA meeting in a small library, Friday night home group in Chicago, a year shaped by cancer and community, and the humility of never quite feeling like a “grown-up.” Most of all, you’ll get an invitation: experiment with quiet. Try dry January. Try a meeting. Try a nightly check-in. Try asking what you’d hear if you weren’t numbing. We’re building a space that honors AA and welcomes other paths, with future guests sharing different routes to recovery.If this resonates, follow or subscribe, share it with a friend who might need it, and email Marcy at Marcy Bacchus Media at gmail.com if you have a story or a path to contribute. Let’s live unbottled—one clear, honest day at a time.

Send us Fan Mail Hi friends, I’m Marcy Backhus, and this is Unbottled — a podcast where we talk about sobriety in real life, without shame, secrecy, or pretending we’ve got it all figured out.I’ve been sober since January 11, 1988, and over the years I’ve learned that sobriety isn’t just about what you stop drinking — it’s about what you start noticing.Whether you’re sober-curious, newly sober, long-time sober, or just wondering why something in your life feels a little too loud… you’re welcome here.Let’s unbottle the truth and talk about what actually helps.