Urban Birds & Bees Podcast

Featured at the New Beginnings Christian Church in West Covina, CA, at the Annual "Iron Sharpens Iron" Men's Conference, Dr. Kerry Neal provides an overview of the importance of men resolving their long-standing guilt and shame and how these feelings keep them from realizing their full potential.

 What happens when men are given permission to put down the armor?The Unarmored Man is a provocative new podcast concept created by Dr. Adaline Tatum that explores the interior lives of men—the experiences, relationships, wounds, expectations, and cultural messages that shape who they become and how they show up in the world.Men are often taught early to be strong, provide, protect, endure, and keep moving. But rarely are they invited to examine what may exist beneath that strength: fear, grief, loneliness, insecurity, childhood wounds, relationship trauma, questions of identity, the need for connection—and even the desire to be fully known.The Unarmored Man creates space for those conversations.Through candid dialogue and personal storytelling, the podcast will explore masculinity, vulnerability, relationships, fatherhood, leadership, love, loss, healing, and the complicated journey toward becoming an emotionally whole man. Rather than asking simply “What do men do?”, the podcast asks a deeper question:“What happened to him—and who might he become if he no longer needed the armor?”In this special episode of Urban Birds & Bees, host and relationship strategist Dr. Kerry Neal sits down with the woman behind the concept, Dr. Adaline Tatum, to discover why she believes this conversation about men is so necessary.Dr. Tatum is an educator, technology leader, and scholar whose professional journey has included work at both USC and UCLA. Her doctoral scholarship has explored leadership, critical reflection, and the importance of ensuring marginalized voices are included in decision-making. Her own journey—from Honduras to the United States, through higher education, leadership and personal growth—has also shaped the perspective she brings to conversations about identity, belonging and the human experience. 

 The 1:60 ROT (Return of Time) Podcast | Featuring Mar LWhat if modern dating isn't broken—but simply operating on a timeline most people fail to recognize?In this thought-provoking conversation, best-selling author, musician, and social commentator Mar L joins relationship strategist Dr. Kerry Neal to explore the 1:60 ROT (Return of Time) Theory—a provocative framework examining how time, choices, accountability, attraction, and consequences shape today's dating and relationship marketplace.Together, they tackle some of the most controversial questions surrounding modern love: Why are so many people finding commitment later in life? How do our decisions in our twenties and thirties influence our relationship opportunities decades later? And what happens when time becomes the one thing money, beauty, status, or success can't replace?This candid discussion challenges conventional wisdom on dating, marriage, family, and personal responsibility while encouraging viewers to think critically about the long-term impact of the choices we make today.Whether you agree or disagree with the theory, this conversation is designed to spark dialogue, challenge assumptions, and leave you looking at relationships through an entirely new lens.Join the conversation in the comments. We'd love to hear your perspective on the 1:60 ROT Theory. 

Dr. Kerry Neal, Keynote Speaker, City of Baldwin Park 4th Annual Black History Month Celebration

Are you in love… or just afraid to start over?In this unapologetically raw episode of Love and Non-Negotiables: The Anatomy of Settling, we dissect the quiet epidemic of settling—where comfort masquerades as connection and “good enough” replaces what your soul actually requires. Because let’s be honest: settling isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it looks like loyalty. Sometimes it sounds like a compromise. But often, it feels like a slow erosion of your standards, your voice… and ultimately, yourself.This episode is anchored by a powerful and deeply personal conversation with Charmaine Tucker, author of I Refuse to Settle. Charmaine opens up about her dating journey while battling low self-esteem. She accepted less than she deserved, ignored her own standards, and found herself compromising not just in relationships, but in her faith and identity. What makes her story compelling isn’t just the struggle—it’s the transformation.Through faith, self-awareness, and unwavering personal fortitude, she made a decisive shift: no longer negotiating her non-negotiables. Her story becomes a blueprint for anyone who has ever questioned their worth in the presence of someone else.We also challenge the uncomfortable truth that many people stay not out of love, but out of fear—fear of loneliness, fear of starting over, fear that what they truly want doesn’t exist.This conversation will force you to confront:The difference between healthy compromise and self-betrayalHow low self-esteem quietly drives you to accept lessWhy ignoring your non-negotiables always comes with a costHow faith and identity can recalibrate your relationship standardsThe internal signals you’ve been dismissing that say: this isn’t itThis isn’t just a podcast—it’s a mirror.Because the real question isn’t “Why didn’t it work?”It’s: Why did you stay when you knew it wasn’t right?Watch now—and decide if you’re building love… or managing disappointment.

What does charm look like before it becomes manipulation? How do intelligent, successful, emotionally aware people still find themselves trapped in relationships with narcissists? And perhaps most importantly, what are the warning signs most people ignore until it’s too late?In this powerful and eye-opening episode of Urban Birds & Bees, Dr. Kerry Neal sits down with internationally recognized high-conflict divorce attorney and narcissist negotiation expert Rebecca Zung, Esq., for a candid conversation about the realities of dating narcissistic individuals and how to protect yourself emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and financially before getting too deep.Drawing from years of experience dealing with narcissists in high-stakes legal battles, Rebecca breaks down the behavioral patterns, manipulation tactics, and emotional traps narcissists commonly use in dating and relationships. Together, Dr. Neal and Rebecca explore why narcissists are often initially magnetic, how trauma bonding develops, and why so many people confuse intensity, chemistry, and control for love.This conversation goes far beyond surface-level dating advice. Topics include:• The early red flags people tend to romanticize or excuse• Love bombing, gaslighting, future faking, and emotional isolation• Why narcissists often target empathetic, successful, and emotionally available people• The difference between confidence and narcissism• How social media and modern dating culture can normalize toxic behavior• Why do many people stay in unhealthy relationships despite seeing the signs• The psychological impact of narcissistic abuse and emotional manipulation• Dating after narcissistic relationships and rebuilding trust• Healthy boundaries, discernment, and emotional self-protection• How men and women experience narcissistic relationships differently• The role of self-worth, unresolved trauma, and attachment patterns in dating choices• Practical strategies to avoid getting emotionally entangled with narcissists in the first placeRebecca Zung also shares insight into how narcissists think, how they negotiate, how they attempt to maintain control, and what people can do to regain their power without losing themselves in the process.Known for creating emotionally honest and culturally relevant conversations about love, relationships, healing, and accountability, Urban Birds & Bees continues its mission to help people navigate modern relationships with greater clarity, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness.Whether you’re currently dating, healing from a toxic relationship, navigating co-parenting with a narcissist, or simply trying to become more discerning in love, this episode offers practical wisdom and a powerful perspective that could change the way you approach relationships forever.Be sure to like, comment, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who may need these insights.

 What happens when love, money, real estate, and the American Dream collide?In this thought-provoking episode of Urban Birds & Bees, Dr. Kerry Neal sits down with real estate professional Arvion Chase and psychotherapist, author, and relationship expert Dr. Zoe Shaw, Ph.D., to explore the complex intersection of homeownership and modern dating.Should couples buy property before marriage? What conversations should happen before making one of the biggest financial decisions of your life? How do credit scores, financial habits, and long-term goals influence relationship compatibility? And does dating someone in the real estate industry come with unique advantages—or unexpected challenges?Together, our guests unpack the emotional, financial, and practical realities that many couples overlook, including:The pros and cons of purchasing a home while datingWhy credit health is a relationship issue—not just a financial oneHow money conversations can strengthen or strain romantic partnershipsThe importance of alignment, trust, and long-term vision before buying togetherThe unique dynamics real estate professionals encounter when working with couplesWhat the American Dream means for singles, couples, and families in today's economyWhether you're single, dating, engaged, married, or simply dreaming about homeownership, this conversation offers valuable insights to help you make wiser decisions about both your heart and your investments.Join the discussion and tell us in the comments: Should couples wait until marriage to buy a home together, or is purchasing property while dating a smart move in today's world?

Special guests Dr. La Tanya Hines, MD, a board-certified OB/GYN, and Lynn Beatty, RN, MBA, share their clinical perspectives on perimenopause, what it is, how it impacts women, especially in the Black community, and how to inform both women and men while dating or managing their marital commitment.

What does it look like when love slowly turns into control—and how do you find your way out when nothing seems “obviously wrong,” yet everything feels off?In this deeply personal and eye-opening episode of Urban Birds and Bees, Dr. Kerry Neal sits down with Amparo I. Vazquez, Founder and President of the Women's Survivors Network, to unpack the often-misunderstood reality of abusive relationships—especially those that don’t leave visible scars.Amparo shares her powerful journey as a Latina woman raised in South Central Los Angeles and a first-generation college graduate who, despite her strength and ambition, found herself entangled in a psychologically and emotionally abusive relationship. Her story highlights a critical truth: abuse is not always physical—and in many cases, the most damaging forms are subtle, strategic, and deeply disorienting.Through her lived experience and her leadership with the Women’s Survivors Network, Amparo now empowers survivors—particularly women of color—to recognize red flags early, reclaim their agency, and rebuild their lives with clarity and confidence.This episode explores:The spectrum of abuse—from emotional manipulation to physical intimidationWhy high-functioning, accomplished individuals still find themselves in toxic dynamicsThe psychological traps that make it difficult to leaveCultural and societal factors that disproportionately impact women of colorHow to identify “covert” abuse before it escalatesThe path from survivor to advocate—and ultimately, to healingIf you’ve ever questioned your relationship, ignored your intuition, or wondered why someone would stay in a situation that doesn’t feel right—this conversation is for you.This is not just a conversation about surviving abuse—it’s about redefining love, reclaiming power, and refusing to settle for anything less than safety, respect, and truth.

Join Dr. Kerry Neal and licensed psychologist Dr. Zoe Shaw for a powerful and thought-provoking conversation exploring the often-overlooked realities of co-dependency in modern relationships. In this episode of Urban Birds & Bees, “Co-Dependency, Dating, & YOU,” we unpack how emotional overattachment, fear of abandonment, people-pleasing, trauma bonding, and unresolved childhood dynamics can quietly shape the way we date, love, and even lose ourselves in relationships.Together, Dr. Shaw and Dr. Neal examine the difference between healthy interdependence and unhealthy emotional dependency, why so many high-functioning people still struggle with relationship boundaries, and how co-dependency often disguises itself as loyalty, sacrifice, or “being a good partner.” The discussion also dives into dating culture, attachment styles, loneliness, self-worth, emotional safety, and the patterns that keep people trapped in unhealthy connection cycles.Whether you are single, dating, healing after heartbreak, divorced, remarried, or simply trying to understand yourself better, this conversation offers practical insight, emotional honesty, and real tools for building healthier relationships without abandoning your identity.This episode is honest, therapeutic, culturally aware, and deeply relevant to anyone navigating love in today’s world. 

 What happens when the place you call home is suddenly gone? In this powerful and deeply human episode of Urban Birds & Bees, we sit down with Grace Mase — UC Berkeley and Yale graduate, trained architect (M.Arch.), licensed contractor, and founder of HomeRES.ai — for an important conversation about rebuilding community, restoring dignity, and preserving legacy after loss.In “When Home is Gone: Rebuilding Community and Legacy,” Grace brings a rare and compelling perspective that bridges architecture, technology, emotional recovery, and community restoration. As the founder of an innovative platform transforming how homeowners and builders communicate, collaborate, and rebuild, she shares insight into the real human impact of displacement, disaster recovery, and the overwhelming challenges families face when trying to start over.But this discussion goes far beyond construction. Together, we explore what “home” truly means — emotionally, culturally, spiritually, and generationally. We discuss how communities heal after devastation, why rebuilding must center on people and relationships instead of just property, and how innovation and empathy can coexist in the rebuilding process.Grace also speaks candidly about leadership, resilience, systemic inequities in rebuilding efforts, and the importance of creating systems that restore trust, transparency, and hope for families navigating uncertainty.This episode is timely, emotional, insightful, and necessary for anyone interested in housing, community development, mental health, family legacy, resilience, and the future of rebuilding.Topics include:The emotional toll of losing home and stabilityRebuilding communities after disaster and displacementThe intersection of architecture, technology, and humanityPreserving legacy while rebuilding for the futureCommunication gaps between homeowners and contractorsInnovation in construction and recovery systemsHealing, resilience, and community restorationWhy rebuilding people matters as much as rebuilding homes 

This is Part 3 of a 3-Part series.Nine gorgeous Black women--Inez, Deeneice, Jasmine, Kim, Breonka, Angelique, Stephanie, Britney, and Arnita--share their journeys with men they've dated throughout their lives and lessons learned from those experiences--both good and bad.

This is Part 2 of a 3-part series. Nine gorgeous Black women--Inez, Deeneice, Jasmine, Kim, Breonka, Angelique, Stephanie, Britney, and Arnita--share their journeys with men they've dated throughout their lives and lessons learned from those experiences--both good and bad.

Nine gorgeous Black women--Inez, Deeneice, Jasmine, Kim, Breonka, Angelique, Stephanie, Britney, and Arnita--share their journeys with men they've dated throughout their lives and lessons learned from those experiences--both good and bad. This is Part 1 of a 3-part series.

Nine beautiful Black women--Arnita, Stephanie, Kim, Breonka, Britney, Deeneice, Inez, Angelique, and Jasmine--share their perspectives on men and their encounters with them romantically and what they've learned--the good and the bad!

In this powerful and unfiltered episode of Urban Birds and Bees, we dive deep into Real Talk about Commitment in the Black Community—a layered and necessary conversation about love, partnership, accountability, and cultural context.Joining the discussion is special guest Dominique DiPrima, award-winning journalist and host at KBLA 1570 AM, who brings her signature clarity, insight, and lived experience to the table. Alongside Dominique are two dynamic women and two thoughtful men representing diverse generational perspectives, each offering candid reflections on the realities of dating in the Black community today.Together, the panel explores hard truths:Why does commitment feel elusive for so many?How have historical trauma, economic pressures, and shifting gender roles shaped modern Black relationships?Are we aligned in our expectations for marriage, partnership, and emotional availability?What role does healing—individual and collective—play in sustaining long-term commitment?The conversation moves beyond surface-level blame and into deeper analysis—addressing trust deficits, fear of vulnerability, social media influence, and the tension between independence and interdependence. The men speak openly about readiness, pressure, and perception. The women articulate the emotional labor, desire for security, and frustration with inconsistency. Dominique anchors the dialogue with cultural context and challenges both sides to examine internal narratives.This episode is not about finger-pointing—it’s about ownership. It’s about growth. And it’s about asking whether we are truly prepared for the commitment we say we want.If you care about the future of Black love, marriage, and partnership, this is a conversation you cannot afford to miss.

Episode Summary – Urban Birds & Bees “The Pretty Girl Dilemma”In this powerful and multi-layered episode of Urban Birds & Bees, Dr. Kerry Neal convenes seven men from varying generations for an unfiltered conversation about what many call “The Pretty Girl Dilemma.” Spanning perspectives from seasoned elders to millennial voices, the discussion examines how beauty is perceived, pursued, misunderstood, and often mishandled in modern relationships.At the heart of the episode is a central question: Does physical beauty empower women in relationships—or complicate their ability to experience authentic connection? The men unpack how attractiveness influences male behavior, expectations, and emotional investment. They explore whether highly attractive women are genuinely pursued for partnership—or simply admired, desired, and objectified.Key themes include:The difference between being desired and being valuedHow beauty can distort power dynamics in datingEgo, competition, and the male need for validationGenerational shifts in how men approach attractive womenThe emotional tax of constant attentionWhy some men assume “pretty” equals high maintenance—or unattainableHow social media amplifies both access and illusionThe intergenerational lens adds depth and texture. Older participants reflect on how courtship once required patience, intention, and character assessment, while younger voices speak to the speed and optics of dating in a digital age. Across perspectives, there is agreement on one critical insight: beauty may open doors, but it does not guarantee emotional security, commitment, or respect.Dr. Neal guides the dialogue with thoughtful framing, challenging the panel to move beyond surface-level commentary and into introspection—asking each man to examine how his own biases, insecurities, and assumptions influence how he treats attractive women.This episode is candid, at times provocative, but ultimately reflective. It’s not about blaming women for being beautiful—it’s about understanding the social dynamics that surround beauty and how both men and women can navigate them with greater emotional intelligence and intentionality.If you’ve ever wondered whether beauty is a blessing, a burden, or both, this conversation is for you.

In this episode of Urban Birds & Bees – Celebrity and Single, Dr. Kerry Neal sits down with Sia Amun, a singer-songwriter and creative force whose story is shaped by both legacy and lived experience. As the daughter of Steve Russell-Harts—best known as the lead singer of the iconic ’90s R&B group Troop—Sia reflects on what it means to grow up adjacent to celebrity while still defining herself on her own terms. Sia opens up about the real side of being raised around the music industry: the expectations people place on you, the pressure to “prove” your talent, and the quiet work required to develop an authentic voice—not inherited. From early exposure to professional environments to the discipline of becoming an artist in her own right, she shares how she’s learned to protect her creativity, refine her craft, and evolve into a woman who leads with intention. The conversation also moves into what listeners come to Celebrity & Single for: a candid look at modern dating, emotional availability, and navigating relationships when your name, background, or visibility can shape how people approach you. Sia and Dr. Neal unpack what it takes to date with clarity—especially when admiration, curiosity, and assumptions can blur the line between genuine connection and surface-level interest. It’s a thoughtful exploration of boundaries, self-worth, and staying open to love without abandoning discernment.This episode is for anyone who’s ever wrestled with identity, legacy, or the tension between being seen and being known. Expect honesty, vulnerability, and a refreshing perspective from an artist who’s committed to building her own lane—personally and professionally. Topics include:Life as the child of a music superstar—and the misconceptions that come with it Craft, artistry, and building a career with authenticity Dating while visible: boundaries, intention, and emotional safetyWhat it means to be single with standards—not wallsListen now and tap in with Urban Birds & Bees for another powerful installment of Celebrity and Single. 

Episode Summary – Urban Birds & Bees Podcast Guest: Laura Franklin, Author of You Can Never Have Too Much SEX (Self-Examination)In this compelling episode of Urban Birds & Bees, Dr. Kerry Neal sits down with author Laura Franklin for a bold, insightful, and deeply reflective conversation about intimacy, accountability, and the power of self-examination.Drawing from her book, You Can Never Have Too Much SEX (Self-Examination), Laura challenges conventional narratives about sex and relationships. Rather than centering the conversation solely on physical intimacy, she reframes “SEX” as an intentional process of looking inward—examining our beliefs, behaviors, emotional wounds, expectations, and relational patterns. The discussion explores how many of the challenges we experience in dating, marriage, and long-term partnerships are less about chemistry and more about clarity—clarity around who we are, what we carry, and what we project.Throughout the episode, Laura shares personal insights and practical wisdom on:Why self-awareness is foundational to healthy intimacyThe connection between unresolved trauma and relational dysfunctionHow personal responsibility transforms relationship outcomesThe difference between desire, validation, and true emotional connectionWhy emotional maturity must precede physical intimacyDr. Neal guides the conversation with thoughtful questions that unpack the cultural myths surrounding sex while elevating the deeper work required for sustainable love and partnership. Together, they examine how self-examination can lead to stronger boundaries, healthier communication, and more aligned relationships.This episode is candid, introspective, and empowering—designed for anyone seeking not just better relationships, but a better understanding of themselves.If you’ve ever questioned your patterns in love, struggled with inconsistency in dating, or desired deeper intimacy rooted in emotional intelligence, this conversation will challenge and inspire you.Listen in—and start having S.E.X. --self-examination!

All seven men--Raz, Tyree, Daniel, Marvin, Brandon, Tony, and Mike--pivot from their critical observations of their past dating experiences and now focus on the relationship blunders they've made with women over the years and lessons learned from those mistakes.

Part Two of the conversation with multigenerational Black men from their 20s to their 50s--as they provide insight and reflections on their dating and relationship encounters with Black women and lessons learned.  Our all-Black male panel is Tyree, Daniel, Brandon, Tony, Mike, Raz, and Marvin, and also host Kerry Neal.

Seven Black men—ranging from their 20s to their 50s—share thoughtfully their challenges with women in their previous relationships with them over the years and insights gained. The panelists are:Brandon (Graduating College student)Daniel (Healthcare professional & retired military)Marvin (Former principal, musician and nonprofit executive)Tony (Engineer)Tyree (Higher Education executive and motivational speaker)Raz (Entrepreneur)Michael (Comedian & Engineer)Very insightful feedback from men who are all in the same page that historically their experiences are that being emotionally vulnerable has typically resulted in it being used against them and the misinterpretation of very direct conversations. 

Today’s guests are Brooke Wade, COO for an immersive technology company, Dr. Zanita Kelly, educator and Change Agent, and Wendy Gladney, President of Forgiving for Living, Inc., and these ladies will share their thoughts, challenges, and solutions to overcoming past hurts and violations at the hands of close family members—whether as the victim or perpetrator.Host: Dr. Kerry Neal

Today’s guests are Dr. Zanita Kelly, educator and Change Agent, Brooke Wade, a COO for an immersive technology company, and Wendy Gladney, President of Forgiving for Living, Inc. These ladies share their own stories of navigating the challenges of forgiveness and keys to overcoming past hurts & disappointments—especially when it comes to being damaged and violated by family members. Host: Kerry Neal  

Special guests are Wendy Gladney, President of Forgiving for Living, Inc., Brooke Wade, COO of an immersive technology company, and Dr. Zanita Kelly, educator and Change Agent. Our guests wrap up their already provocative and honest discussion on forgiving family members who may have hurt you AND hurt that they may have imposed on others!Host: Kerry Neal