Wait... Is This My Life?

In this episode, I continue my conversation with my friend Jen. Jen opens up about her dad, Jack, who passed away seven years ago. She speaks honestly about his struggles over the years and how those challenges shaped their relationship. Jen also shares how her grief has shifted with time and what she has learned along the way. It’s a vulnerable and honest look at the realities of loss and the ongoing process of healing.

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Jen (McCaffrey) Segal to talk about the losses that have shaped her life. She shares memories of her childhood friends, Colleen and Danny. We also reflect on her relationship with my sister, Marissa, and how Marissa’s passing has stayed with her and how her grief has changed over the years. Jen's episode has been separated into two parts. Part 2 will air as the next new episode.

For this episode, my Mom joins me and we get into all the ways grief has scrambled our brains — the fog, the forgetfulness, the “wait… what was I doing?” moments. We also share some of the funny stories that have come out of the past few years, the ones that remind us we're human and still able to laugh even when things are hard. It’s honest, light, and a little chaotic in the best way (fitting for how we are).

Welcome to Season 2! After a three‑month hiatus, I’m back and easing into Season 2 with a personal check‑in. In this episode, I share what I’ve been navigating during my time away and what I've been up to. I also give a peek at what’s ahead for this season.

In this solo episode, I reflect on the holidays — what they looked like growing up, how traditions shifted as my sister and I got older, and the profound changes that came after Marissa's passing. I share the daunting early years of navigating grief during the holiday season, the slow process of finding new traditions that felt right, and the ways my family honored both the lows and the highs along the way. I also take a moment to look back on the first year of this podcast, incorporating a family tradition of naming one low and one high at the end of each year. This episode will be the last episode in 2025 and the last one before a brief hiatus.

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Christina Graveley to explore the impact of loss. Christina shares her journey of losing both of her parents, 11 years apart, and how those experiences shaped the course of her life. She opens up about the challenges of being a caretaker for her Mom during an already busy season in life, and the lessons she has carried forward from that time. We also reflect on the ways grief evolves over the years, and Christina offers her insight into finding healing and meaning along the way.

In this solo episode, I open up about a deeply personal chapter — watching my brother-in-law begin a new relationship after my sister passed away. I share what that experience was like through the lens of my own grief, the complicated emotions it brought up, and how my perspective has changed over time. This isn’t a story about judgment or resolution — it’s about growth, perspective, and the quiet ways grief can evolve. If you’ve ever wrestled with the complexities of love, loyalty, and letting go, you may relate to this episode.

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Kelsey to explore the complex emotions that surface when life doesn’t align with the timelines we imagined. From the quiet disappointments to the unexpected joys, we unpack what it means to navigate adulthood when milestones feel delayed or out of reach. We reflect on how perspective—especially the way we speak to ourselves—can shape our experience more than any timeline or life event ever could. If you've ever felt behind, this one's for you.

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Kelsey Runyen to talk about what it really means to support someone through grief. We explore her personal experience walking alongside me—and others—during some of life’s hardest moments. Kelsey shares the ways she's learned to show up with compassion, how to navigate the emotional ups and downs without taking things personally, and why being present during someone’s darkest times can ultimately deepen and strengthen a friendship. Whether you're supporting a grieving friend or going through it yourself, this conversation offers honest insights and gentle reminders about the power of simply being there.

In this solo episode, I share some life updates and open up about some behind-the-scenes things with the podcast. I reflect on what this journey has taught me so far—from unexpected challenges to meaningful growth—and offer a glimpse into what’s to come.

In this episode, I’m switching things up a bit! My friend Kelly returns — but this time, she’s the one asking the questions. I figured since I’m always inviting guests on to share their stories, it was only fair that I take a turn in the hot seat. Kelly interviews me in a fun and candid “get to know me” episode. We kick things off with some rapid-fire questions, dive into more in-depth conversations, and wrap it all up with some random (and hilarious) moments. It’s a little different, a lot of fun, and a way to learn more about me as a person outside from what I have already shared.

In this episode, I sit down with my cousin Jenna (O'Connor) McGlynn to talk about the profound impact of losing her mother at just six years old. Jenna opens up about the memories that remain from that time, how the loss shaped her childhood and the person that she is today, and the strength she found in stepping into a motherly role for her younger siblings.

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Jack Delaney. We talk about his experience with mental health over the years and what it’s been like navigating that as a man. Jack also shares his journey to sobriety — how he got sober at 25 years old and what nearly nine years of sobriety has taught him. We also discuss the loss of his Dad, who passed three years ago. Jack opens up about their relationship and how that shaped him, both before and after his Dad passed.

In this episode, I sit down with my family friend — and shore neighbor — Melissa (Young) Radomicki. Melissa opens up about the loss of her father, who passed away six years ago after being diagnosed with a rare brain tumor. We talk about the difficult moments during his treatment, the strength it took to be present, and how losing him has shaped her life since. We also talk about her father-in-law, Raymond, who passed away suddenly about seven months ago, and how that loss hit in a totally different way. Then we get into Melissa’s spiritual side — some of the things she’s experienced over the years that have helped her feel connected, comforted, and guided.

In this solo episode, I talk about the many signs that I have received over the past 7 years since my sister, Marissa, passed. Receiving these signs, whether big or small, have always been like little pieces of hope for me throughout my grief journey.

In this lighthearted episode, my cousin, Carly, and I discuss the things we wish people didn't say to grievers, even though we know that they mean well. We share some stories from our early years of grief that we are now able to laugh about and discuss our thoughts around certain situations after losing a family member.

In this episode, I have both of my parents on to discuss how they have navigated the hardships they have faced since early on in their marriage. My Mom shares her story of starting to attend Al-Anon while my Dad was not yet sober and they both share their perspectives on rebuilding their marriage in the aftermath. They also discuss how they leaned on each other while caring for aging parents and when my sister, Marissa, was sick. We also talked about how they got through their grief together after my sister passed.

In this solo episode, I discuss the emotions I have been feeling leading up to the anniversary of my sister's passing and the lingering emotions I have been dealing with. I chose to do this episode after the anniversary date since my emotions felt too heavy and all over the place leading up to the day. I also share some funny stories of my sister, Marissa, which is always something that I try to focus on during these times.

In this episode, I have my Dad back on to talk about his journey to sobriety. He very honestly details what his life was like throughout active addiction and what led him to become sober. My dad has been sober for over 30 years now, and to have that as a normal thing in our lives, since my sister and I were young, was truly a gift that we were always aware of.

In this episode, I have my friend, Jenna Walsh, on. She came into my family's life when she started dating my brother-in-law, who she is now married to. We discuss how she lost her Mom and her Dad in under 2 years, testing positive for the BRCA2 gene and opting to get a double mastectomy, how she supported my brother-in-law in his early years of grief and how she shows up for him in that way, and how we have become a blended family over the years.

In this episode, I discuss comparing my life and timeline to others; something that I have done since I was a teenager. I talk about comparing myself when it came to finishing college, my career, body image, where and who I lived with, and my relationship status over the years. I also talk about how changing my mindset around these things helped me focus on what I do have in life instead of what I feel like I am lacking.

In this episode, I talk with my friend, Chelsea Sullivan, about her experience of finding out she had a benign brain tumor (a meningioma) shortly after her 30th birthday. She discusses how this impacted her life prior to getting this diagnosis, the symptoms she experienced, how this impacted her mental health, and ultimately, how going through this changed her life. Chelsea is the first guest that I have on that we discuss a life-altering experience that is not related to death and loss.

My mom, Jacki, joins me again to discuss our family's nonprofit foundation, Marissa's Mission: No One Fights Alone, which we started in my sister's honor to carry on her work of paying it forward to other patients/families who are going through a blood cancer diagnosis. We discuss how the foundation originated, the types of fundraising events that we host, and also our thoughts on the foundation over the years and where we see it going in the future. If you or anyone you know hears of someone who has a blood cancer diagnosis and would benefit from financial support, please feel free to reach out to our foundation. You can contact us through our Instagram (@marissas_mission), through our Facebook page "Marissa's Mission: No One Fights Alone" or through email by visiting our website: www.marissasmission.com.

In this episode, I talk with my friend Nikki (Graham) Wolfinger about her perspective while her Mom went through breast cancer and then losing her Mom when she was only 21 years old. We also discuss Nikki's friendship with my sister, Marissa and how the two experiences of watching both of them go through cancer treatment differed.

In this episode, I discuss a topic that I usually choose to not openly talk about with people in my life... sibling guilt. This topic was a lot harder to talk about while recording this episode in the moment, more than I had anticipated. I touch on how I felt guilty when my sister was diagnosed with Leukemia, when I felt the emotional and mental affects of being one of her caregivers, when she passed and I was not wanting to move forward, and guilt around the complicated feelings that I had to sort through on my own without her here.

As a follow up to last week's episode, I continue my conversation with my friend, Kelly. Throughout this episode, we discuss Kelly's relationship with my sister, Marissa. Kelly and Marissa were best friends from the time that they were 8 years old, they were roommates their freshman year in college, and as their lives evolved into adulthood, they remained very close. We also talk about how losing Marissa has affected Kelly's life.

In this episode, I talk with my friend, Kelly (Kirlin) Sickel, about her experiences with loss and grief. There are two parts for her episode. Throughout part one, we talk about how Kelly lost her Dad at a very young age and also losing her aunt, her Mom's twin sister, only a few years ago.

In this episode, I dive into some of the things that I have experienced over the past several years in the aftermath of losing my sister. These are things that I wish I knew ahead of time but that I got zero warning about, nor did I ever think that I would experience while coping with grief and navigating my "new normal".

In this episode, I talk with my cousin, Carly McAneny, about her experience of losing her Dad and how she has coped with her grief over the past 8 years. We also talk about how she has supported me through my own grief, how we have leaned on each other through this process, and our different perspectives around loss. Trigger Warning: suicide is discussed in this episode.

Ahead of my sister, Marissa's, upcoming birthday, I talk about how we celebrated our birthdays together over the years since they are 8 days apart. I also talk about how I celebrate and honor her birthday now after losing her and the struggles I have faced, and still deal with, around this time of year.

In this episode, I have my second guest on, my Dad - John aka Mac! We discuss the immense amount of loss that he has endured throughout his life, starting at 19 years old. He details losing his Dad, Mom, two siblings, and his daughter, Marissa, and how he has navigated these losses and the grief throughout his life. Trigger Warning: suicide is discussed in this episode.

In this solo episode, I walk through my experience with anxiety and depression from a young age through adulthood. I also discuss how adding in grief has made it hard to decipher between the three and where I am at currently with my mental health.

In this episode, I have my first guest on, my mom - Jacki! She talks about being a caregiver for her Dad and losing both of her parents. We also discuss her experience of being one of Marissa's caregivers while working full-time and her feelings and thoughts around losing Marissa and navigating the loss of a child.

In this episode, I talk about the initial feelings after losing Marissa and the ways that my life changed in the aftermath.

In this episode, I walk through Marissa's cancer diagnosis, the treatment she underwent, and how our lives changed from this diagnosis. This episode is on the longer side since I am recapping her entire journey, which took place over 2 and a half years.

In this episode, I talk about who my sister, Marissa, was and *try* to describe our relationship. I start from the beginning growing up together and how our relationship evolved into adulthood.

Have you ever found yourself wondering how you got here? Welcome to "Wait… Is This My Life?", the podcast where we get real about the unexpected twists and turns that make life so unpredictable—and sometimes difficult. Hosted by Patrice McAneny, this podcast explores personal stories of grief, loss, and mental health, offering insights and support for those navigating life when it doesn't go the way you thought it would. Whether you're laughing through the pain or crying through the laughter, this podcast is all about navigating the messy middle of life together. Each episode brings raw, candid perspectives and conversations, with guests joining in to share their own stories and insights. With a casual and honest approach, we tackle the heavy stuff with a light heart. Whether you're here for the tough talks, the lighter moments, or just trying to make sense of it all, you'll find something to help you feel seen, heard, and supported in this safe space. We promise no judgment, just understanding—and maybe a few laughs along the way. So sit back, relax, and let’s talk about what really matters.