All Episodes

“Small Language Models” (Sweet Valley High #88, Love Letters for Sale)

“A Boy Stealer is a Boy Stealer” (Sweet Valley High Super Star #5, Todd’s Story)

“We Need a Hotline!” (Sweet Valley High #87, My Best Friend’s Boyfriend)

“Can Anything a Boy Can Do, Can a Girl Be Doing It?” (Sweet Valley High #86, Jessica Against Bruce)

“3-2-1 Zoop” (Sweet Valley High #85, Soap Star)

“It’s a Rork-Shrack” (Sweet Valley High #84, The Stolen Diary)

“Not Everything’s Great in Paradise” (Sweet Valley High #83, Steven’s Bride)

“Art Imitating Life Imitating Sweatshirt” (Sweet Valley High Super Star: Olivia’s Story)

“Gaslight, Gatekeep, Cultboss” (Sweet Valley High #82, Kidnapped by the Cult!)

“Unproblematic King Michael Jackson” (Sweet Valley High #81, Rosa’s Lie)

“Who They? What Both? Girl?” (Sweet Valley High #80, The Girl They Both Loved)

“Fuck, Marry, Kill: Chicken Salad Temperatures” (Sweet Valley High #79, The Long-Lost Brother)

“A Run-of-the-Mill Humiliation Ritual”(Sweet Valley High #78, The Dating Game)

“Teens and Anabolic Steroid Use” (Sweet Valley High #77, Cheating to Win)

“Quick Ask Zoe” (Sweet Valley High #76, Miss Teen Sweet Valley)

“He Wore a Rainbow Bracelet” (Sweet Valley High #75, Amy’s True Love)

“A Dangerous Diet…” (Sweet Valley High #74, The Perfect Girl)

“Guess What’s Got Me This Smiling?” (Sweet Valley High #73, Regina’s Legacy)

“Is She His Girlfriend or Is She His Daughter?” (Sweet Valley High #72, Rock Star’s Girl)

”Staring Jessica” (Sweet Valley High #71, Starring Jessica)

“Books Are Mother” (Sweet Valley Super Star, Enid’s Story)

“Cheer Violence” (Sweet Valley High #70, Ms. Quarterback)

“I Love My Lizard Brain” (Sweet Valley High #69, Friend Against Friend)

“I’ve Never Once Heard You Say Wow” (Sweet Valley High #68, The Love Bet)

“What Darts But a Mouse” (Sweet Valley High #67, The Parent Plot)

“The Ululations and Throatations of the Situation” (Sweet Valley High #66, Who’s to Blame?)

“The Rabbit and The Hare“ (Sweet Valley High Super Star #2, Bruce’s Story)

“The World is Imploding; Pass the Salad Tongs” (Sweet Valley High #65, Trouble at Home)

“The Most Chilling Chef’s Salad in History” (Sweet Valley High #64, The Ghost of Tricia Martin)

“I Noticed the Surfboard Gave You a Pretty Good Spanking” (Sweet Valley High #63, The New Elizabeth)

“But the Ginger Chicken Just Arrived!” (Sweet Valley High #62, Who’s Who?)

“It Forks No Lightning” (Sweet Valley High #61, Boy Trouble)

“Electra Who: For the Love of DILFs” (Sweet Valley High Super Star #1, Lila’s Story)

“A Crumpled Toyota…” (Sweet Valley High #60, That Fatal Night)

“Bureaucracy Rothschild” (Sweet Valley High #59, In Love Again)

“The New President of Varitronics” (Sweet Valley High #58, Brokenhearted)

“Which Deep Hues?!” (Sweet Valley High #57, Teacher Crush)

“Horny for Spirit” (Sweet Valley High Super Thriller #4, Deadly Summer)

“Denial Bangle Arguing” (Sweet Valley High #56, Lost at Sea)

“Which Ear is the Gay Ear?” (Sweet Valley High #55, Perfect Shot).

“Again with this, with the rope and the trunk” (Sweet Valley High #54, Two Boy Weekend)

“Barista under Duress” (Sweet Valley High #53, Second Chance)

“UncleGate Part 2: This Time It’s Personal” (Sweet Valley High #52, White Lies)

“Yeah, I Know What a Point Spread Is” (Sweet Valley High #51, Against the Odds)

“We don’t kill ghosts. It’s not appropriate” (Sweet Valley High Super Thriller #3, No Place to Hide)

“The Way of the Bamboo” (Sweet Valley High #50, Out of Reach)

“The Pacific Really Makes You Think” (Sweet Valley High #49, Playing for Keeps)

“Reddest Head” (Sweet Valley High #48, Slam Book Fever)

“Assaultmaker” (Sweet Valley High #47, Troublemaker)

“A Powerful Allegory about Jerking Off” (Sweet Valley High #46, Decisions)

“The System Is Working” (Sweet Valley Super Thriller 2, On the Run)

“Who Wants Eggs?” (Sweet Valley High #45, Family Secrets)

“An Unprecedented Weaponization of Seasonal Allergies” (Sweet Valley High #44, Pretenses)

“True Life: My Nana’s a Bitch” (Sweet Valley High #43, Hard Choices)

“Solving Racism One ‘Whatever’ at a Time” (Sweet Valley High #42, Caught in the Middle)

“He’s Definitely Problematic Because He Was Holding a Corpse” (Sweet Valley High Super Thriller #1, Double Jeopardy)

“To Be Being or To Be Not Exactly Being” (Sweet Valley High #41, Outcast)

“A Drug Dealer Who Loves a Pun” (Sweet Valley High #40, On the Edge)

“A Frisson of Awkwardness” (Sweet Valley High #39, Secret Admirer)

“You is a deictic” (Sweet Valley High #38, Leaving Home)

“You’re Gonna Enable” (Sweet Valley High #37, Rumors)

"Squirmy Little Weasel” (Sweet Valley High #36, Last Chance)

“It Doesn’t Feel like Gingham to Me” (Sweet Valley High Super Edition #6, Spring Fever)

“Locker Room Lovemaking” (Sweet Valley High #35, Out of Control)

“Bouillabaisse, Will You Marry Me?” (Sweet Valley High #34, Forbidden Love)

“And We *Must* Trace the Angle of Reflection” (Sweet Valley High #33, Starting Over)

“Bad Mood Holiday” (Sweet Valley High Super Edition #5, Winter Carnival)

“The Identity and the Hairdo” (Sweet Valley High #32, The New Jessica)

"The Bullet of the Duel” (Sweet Valley High #31, Taking Sides)

“Pascal’s Tennis Shop Schedule” (Sweet Valley High #30, Jealous Lies)

“He’s 21 and Could You Just Let Him In” (Super Edition #4, Malibu Summer)

"Manufactured Lesbian Rivalry for Elizabeth’s Sexual Titillation” (Sweet Valley High #29, Bitter Rivals)

“A Little Shampoo Goes a Long Way” (Sweet Valley High #28, Alone in the Crowd)

“Danger, Intrigue, Romance, Mistaken Identities…J’adore!” (Sweet Valley High Special Edition #3, Spring Break)

“Hornystruck” (Sweet Valley High, #27 Lovestruck)

“And Sometimes We Must Blame Victims” (Sweet Valley High, #26 Hostage!)

“Sometimes People Need New Assholes” (follow up for Sweet Valley High #25, Nowhere to Run)

“She Really Is…Mostly…A Bitch!” (Sweet Valley High #25, Nowhere to Run)

“A Christmas Miracle? or Munchausen by Proxy?” (Super Edition #2, Special Christmas)

“Famously Actively Grieving” (Sweet Valley High #24, Memories)

“Disgusting Salty Warm Wet Kisses” (Sweet Valley High #23, Say Goodbye)

“Inspiring Journey of Woman Finding Way for Benefit Girls of Sweet Valley” (Sweet Valley High #22, Too Much in Love)

“Sumptuous Spanish-Style Banquets in Santa Barbara” (Sweet Valley High Super Edition #1, Perfect Summer)

“I’m a Sister First and a Shitty Reporter Second” (Sweet Valley High #21, Runaway)

"La Belle Indifference" (Sweet Valley High #20, Crash Landing)

Minisode: The Number 137

“The Horse Doesn’t Know It’s a Race” (Sweet Valley High #19, Showdown)

"Wow! Such Opposite Mansion Decor!" (Sweet Valley High #18, Head Over Heels)

“People Marry the Eiffel Tower” (Sweet Valley High #17, Love Letters)

“Which Fork Is This?” (Sweet Valley High #16, Rags to Riches)

"Porsche is a Subset of Rich" (Sweet Valley High #2, Secrets)

"Promises Are Okay; Art School Saves” (Sweet Valley High #15, Promises)

"Beef Tournedos and Call it a Night" (Sweet Valley High #14, Deceptions)

"It’s Kind of Nice to Have Liz in a Bunker" (Sweet Valley High #13, Kidnapped!)

"Flopping Helplessly Side to Side" (Sweet Valley High #12, When Love Dies)

“Call Her Suzy (All Her Friends Do),” Sweet Valley High #11, Too Good to be True

"The Whore Not Lived" (Sweet Valley High #10, Wrong Kind of Girl)

"The Boy Who Cried ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf’" (Sweet Valley High #9, Racing Hearts)

"The Playful Soap Suds War" (Sweet Valley High #8, Heartbreaker)

"A Volcano of Steam and Froth" (Sweet Valley High #7, Dear Sister)

"The Urges Remain" (Sweet Valley High #6, Dangerous Love)

"Predations of the Depraved" (Sweet Valley High #5, All Night Long)

"Nonymous Power" (Sweet Valley High #4, Power Play)

"So Much of a Pelt" (Sweet Valley High #3, Playing with Fire)

"Duck a L’Orange" (Sweet Valley High #1, Double Love)

"Two Packages of Ramen Noodles" (Welcome)