36 Why "Use Your Words" Isn't helpful
Episode 36 of the The Healing Mama Podcast podcast, hosted by Danni Bonsignore, titled "36 Why "Use Your Words" Isn't helpful" was published on June 17, 2025 and runs 7 minutes.
June 17, 2025 ·7m · The Healing Mama Podcast
Summary
Scripture + Tiny Truths to Remember“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,but only what is helpful for building others up…”— Ephesians 4:29Speak life. Teach gently. Build up.Tiny Truths to RememberKids aren’t born knowing how to speak kindly — they learn it from us.Correction doesn’t have to be harsh to be effective.Your calm, coaching voice helps them build the voice they’ll use for life.Why Your Preschooler StrugglesPreschooler brains are still developing:Right brain (feelings) is stronger than the left (words).Under stress, they may lose access to language.Whining, shouting, or hitting often signals dysregulation, not defiance.They don’t need punishment — they need coaching.What To DoPractice in calm moments“If you need help, say: ‘Can you help me, please?’ Let’s practice!”Name the emotion + offer the words“You’re feeling mad. You can say, ‘I’m mad, I need space.’ I’ll help you.”Model kind language consistently“Try that again with your kind voice.”“Say it in a way my ears can really hear you.”“Let’s rewind and try again.”Remember, mistakes are wonder opportunities to learn and it shows your child what humility looks like when you own your mistakes and you actively do better. xoxo Danni
Episode Description
Scripture + Tiny Truths to Remember
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up…”
— Ephesians 4:29
Speak life. Teach gently. Build up.
Tiny Truths to Remember
Kids aren’t born knowing how to speak kindly — they learn it from us.
Correction doesn’t have to be harsh to be effective.
Your calm, coaching voice helps them build the voice they’ll use for life.
Why Your Preschooler Struggles
Preschooler brains are still developing:
Right brain (feelings) is stronger than the left (words).
Under stress, they may lose access to language.
Whining, shouting, or hitting often signals dysregulation, not defiance.
They don’t need punishment — they need coaching.
What To Do
Practice in calm moments
“If you need help, say: ‘Can you help me, please?’ Let’s practice!”
Name the emotion + offer the words
“You’re feeling mad. You can say, ‘I’m mad, I need space.’ I’ll help you.”
Model kind language consistently
“Try that again with your kind voice.”
“Say it in a way my ears can really hear you.”
“Let’s rewind and try again.”
Remember, mistakes are wonder opportunities to learn and it shows your child what humility looks like when you own your mistakes and you actively do better. xoxo Danni
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