Awake & Aligned

Are you chasing success, or are you running from the pain you have not named? In this honest and deeply personal episode of Below the Circle, Dr. Phyllis invites you to look at the “buffet” of life, where titles, roles, achievements, and endless yeses can start to feel like proof that you are enough. Through her own story of high achievement, imposter syndrome, betrayal, leadership pressure, COVID-era stress, and a hard landing with God’s help, she shows why the next title will never heal an old wound. This episode is a loving call to stop piling your plate, stop circling above your hurt, and ask one brave question: What am I running from? Peace, joy, and real rest begin when you choose to land.Episode highlights:(0:00) Chasing achievement to feel enough(2:11) The life-changing question: Are you chasing or running?(4:08) Fulfillment, validation, permission, and labels(10:10) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story(17:49) Medical school, imposter syndrome, and hard seasons(20:13) Workplace betrayal and reopening old wounds(25:56) Leadership, COVID, scleroderma, and burnout(28:19) God’s hard landing and the wake-up call(31:57) Why the chase will never heal the hurt(35:41) The question to sit with this week(37:18) Episode 140 teaserConnect with Dr. Phyllis:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Why does slowing down feel more terrifying than the burnout already wearing you down? In this heartfelt episode of Below the Circle, Dr. Phyllis speaks to the woman who keeps pushing, serving, leading, and holding everything together while quietly feeling empty inside. She names five fears that keep women stuck on autopilot, including the fear of losing identity, being replaced, appearing weak, letting everything fall apart, and not knowing how to slow down. Through her own story of burnout, loss, and learning to land, Dr. Phyllis reminds listeners that true resilience is not absorbing everything. It is knowing when to pause, breathe, and reconnect with God, yourself, and the life waiting below the circle.Episode highlights:(0:00) Opening reflection on resilience and burnout(1:45) Why slowing down feels so scary(3:07) Welcome to Below the Circle(4:23) Fear of losing your identity(5:21) Fear of being replaced(6:11) Redefining true resilience(7:46) Fear that everything will fall apart(8:53) Not knowing how to slow down(11:01) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal turning point(13:18) Lessons from her mother’s passing(19:23) Slowing down helps you live with clarity(21:13) Jeremiah 29:11 and trusting God’s plan(23:06) A simple pause question for the week(24:18) Preview of the next episodeConnect with Dr. Phyllis:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What if the woman everyone depends on is not the real you? In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Phyllis speaks to women who have spent years being strong, dependable, and needed, yet feel disconnected from themselves. She explains how constant performance can become a place of safety, while slowly burying your true desires, joy, and identity. Through honest reflection, a personal story, and the truth of Jeremiah 1:5, she reminds listeners that who they are was never meant to be built on what they do. This episode offers a gentle but powerful call to slow down, get still, and begin asking one simple question: What do I actually want right now? Real change begins there, in small moments of honesty, courage, and care.Episode highlights:(0:00) Performance as a safety net(2:32) Simple questions that reveal lost identity(6:26) How women become roles instead of people(9:40) Dr. Phyllis shares her own wake-up moment(15:28) Jeremiah 1:5 and identity before performance(20:36) Small choices that help you reconnect with yourself(24:24) Why this feels uncomfortable(27:53) This week’s practice(29:54) Grief over losing yourself(32:14) Why it is not too late(35:29) Picture your younger self(40:13) Next week’s question about busyness and avoidanceConnect with Dr. Phyllis:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What happens when staying busy becomes the only way you know how to function?In this episode, Dr. Phyllis unpacks the pattern so many of us live in without questioning. We keep moving, managing, and showing up, but rarely slow down enough to actually feel our own lives. Over time, constant motion starts to feel normal, and stillness begins to feel uncomfortable.This conversation gets to the root of that. The drive to keep going didn’t come out of nowhere. It was learned, and at one point, it likely served a purpose. But what once helped you navigate one season can quietly begin to hold you back in the next.Dr. Phyllis draws an important distinction between crashing and choosing to rest. One happens when you’ve pushed too far. The other requires intention. Throughout the episode, she invites you to pause, pay attention to what you’re feeling, and notice when you’re slipping into autopilot.This is a grounded reminder that stillness isn’t empty. It’s where clarity returns. And learning to slow down, even in small ways, is how you begin to show up for your life in a way that feels real again.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Have you ever caught yourself asking, is this really where I’m supposed to be? Or do you keep moving forward simply because it feels easier than stopping? Some seasons are spent reacting instead of pausing, seeking fulfillment in roles and routines that never truly feed the soul. Decisions stop being brought to God, and life runs on auto pilot, letting habit guide the way.Repeated outcomes often appear without notice whether in toxic relationships, unfulfilling work, or patterns that feel impossible to escape. Subconscious choices keep familiar habits alive, even when they no longer serve. Expecting different results while repeating the same decisions only leads to frustration.Breaking free from auto pilot requires courage. Courage to recognize patterns, courage to ask the hard questions, and courage to make different choices. Old habits will not lead to new promises.Dr. Phyllis shares a practical tool to start shifting: identify one decision repeated out of habit, uncover the fear that keeps it in place, and take one courageous step this week to break the cycle. One intentional choice can open the door to a life aligned with purpose rather than routine.For anyone ready to stop reacting and start choosing courage, this episode provides guidance to take the first step and move toward lasting change.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What happens when you realize you’ve been living on auto pilot?In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story and draws a powerful connection to the story of the prodigal son. It’s an honest look at what it feels like to drift, to lose sight of who you really are, and what it takes to come back.She opens up about the moment she knew something had to change. The moment she realized that if she wanted to reclaim her identity, she had to return to Him. That decision didn’t just shift one area of her life. It changed how she navigates everything.If you’ve ever felt disconnected, stuck in roles, or just going through the motions, this conversation will hit close to home. So many of us are prone to living on auto pilot, slowly losing connection with our true identity without even realizing it.This episode is your reminder that you’re not too far gone. There is power in the return.Dr. Phyllis also introduces The Return Framework, a simple and meaningful way to begin breaking free from auto pilot and take your first steps back to who you really are.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a deeper look into her personal journey of breaking out of autopilot and reconnecting with her true self.She opens up about the pressure of trying to live up to the idea of the Proverbs 31 woman, focusing on what that looks like from the outside while never really considering what’s happening internally. There’s so much emphasis on her attributes and how she’s perceived, but not on how she actually experiences her life behind closed doors.Dr. Phyllis reflects on a season where she was stuck in autopilot, constantly taking on new roles and responsibilities in an attempt to fill a void. Instead of finding clarity, she found herself more disconnected.This episode walks through what that looked like and how it led her to start asking better questions about her purpose and her priorities.She also introduces the Will Framework, a simple but powerful way to come back to yourself. This isn’t a one-time exercise. It’s something you return to over and over as your life shifts and grows.If you’ve been feeling like you’re doing all the right things but still feel off, this conversation will help you pause, reflect, and reconnect with what actually matters.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis talks about what it really looks like to move forward when you feel stuck. Not through big, overwhelming changes, but through small actions that actually build momentum.If you’ve been avoiding your next step or sitting in overthinking, this is your reminder that enough is enough. We can’t let our thoughts run the show. At some point, you have to shift your focus from staying stuck to taking action.Dr. Phyllis shares her framework for stepping forward, even when things feel unclear or uncomfortable. She walks through why imperfect action matters and how those small moves are often the thing that creates real change.This episode will push you to ask yourself what you can do next, instead of staying in the loop of thinking about it. One simple place to start is sitting down with your journal and getting honest about the steps in front of you.If you’ve been feeling stuck, this is the nudge to move.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares her experience of realizing she had been living in a state of emotional autopilot. While managing the many roles and responsibilities of life, she found herself feeling disconnected and unsure how to step off the constant treadmill of expectations.Our conversation explores how easily parents can become overwhelmed by responsibilities and begin operating on autopilot. Dr. Phyllis reminds us that no parent is perfect and that not everything is ours to carry.She also discusses the tools that helped her begin the process of healing, strengthen communication, and repair important relationships. This episode is an encouragement to pause, reflect, and identify one area where more intentional communication could lead to meaningful change.

Clutter is not always about being messy or disorganized. Sometimes it is a signal that something deeper is asking for our attention.In this episode, Dr. Phyllis talks about the connection between clutter and avoidance. The overflowing inbox, messy closet, or tasks we keep putting off can often point to emotions we have not slowed down enough to face. Instead of seeing clutter as a failure, she encourages us to see it as a message.Dr. Phyllis shares a simple framework called CLEAR to help move through both physical and emotional clutter. It begins by clarifying what you might be avoiding and listening to the emotions underneath it. From there, she encourages you to engage God and invite Him into the moment for courage and guidance. The next step is to act by taking one small step toward what you have been putting off. Finally, reflect and rejoice by noticing the progress you made.Clutter is not a character flaw. You are not lazy and you are not broken. Often it is simply a signal that something in your life needs care and attention. When we slow down long enough to notice the message, we create space for peace and clarity.

Feeling isolated is easy, and sometimes it seems like you’re the only one facing life’s challenges. But what makes life meaningful are the small moments of connection. You don’t have to say much to make a moment matter—sometimes just showing up is enough.In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares how intentionally reaching out to others can transform relationships and create lasting bonds. She walks us through the Reach Model, a practical way to stay aligned and connected with the people who matter most. From quick check-ins to heartfelt conversations, Dr. Phyllis shows how even the simplest actions can make a significant difference in the lives of those around you.Connection matters, presence matters, and the moments you create today can leave a lasting impact.

Have you ever felt like life is just rinse and repeat? You wake up, move through the day, go to bed, and do it all over again. It can feel like you’re circling the same runway, never quite taking off.In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a recent experience that made her pause and pay attention to what was really happening around her. Sometimes we move so quickly through our routines that we stop noticing. We stop reflecting. We stop asking if this pace is actually serving us.This conversation is a reminder that monotony is not a life sentence. There are moments that invite us to break free. Moments that nudge us to recenter and refocus.You have the ability to step off the treadmill. You have the power to shift your perspective, slow down, and choose differently. Sometimes it starts with simply becoming more observant and aware.If you’ve been feeling stuck in repetition, this episode will encourage you to pause, pay attention, and take one intentional step forward.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis reflects on what she describes as God’s wake up calls. She shares about a season when she was moving quickly, focused on doing all the right things and being the kind of mom she believed she should be. In the middle of that pace, she began to realize that God had been gently signaling that something needed to shift.Sometimes those signals are subtle. A sense of unease. A quiet thought that keeps returning. A feeling that we are pushing harder than we need to. When we move past those small nudges and continue on, there are moments when God allows something more significant to slow us down. Not as punishment, but as redirection.Dr. Phyllis talks about what it looked like for her to be “taken off the treadmill” and how that pause helped her see things more clearly. She reminds us that these wake up calls are rooted in love. They are invitations to pay attention, to reassess, and to make changes that lead to renewal.If you have felt prompted to slow down or sensed that something in your life needs to shift, this conversation offers space to reflect. God’s desire is not to shame or pressure, but to guide, restore, and refresh.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis explores what it means to remain rooted rather than rattled when others do not understand your decisions or the season you are in.As priorities shift and life changes, standing firm without external approval can be challenging. Drawing from her own experiences, Dr. Phyllis emphasizes the importance of developing deep roots that provide stability and clarity, even when opinions or expectations create pressure.She introduces the ROOTS framework as a guide for staying grounded: remembering whose you are, owning your current season, remaining open to wise counsel, trusting God, and standing strong in conviction.Listeners are also encouraged to reflect on their support system and consider who truly belongs in their village and has earned the right to speak into their lives.This episode offers a thoughtful reminder that strength comes from being deeply rooted, not from the approval of others.

Ever feel like life has slipped into autopilot and you’re just getting through the day? This episode is a reminder that surviving doesn’t have to be the baseline. Thriving can start with small, intentional shifts.We talk about the importance of continuing to learn and staying curious, finding moments of laughter as a way to release pressure, and allowing emotions to move instead of holding everything in. You are more than your current situation, and hard seasons do not erase who you are.Using the image of a triangle with three corners, learn, laugh, and love, this conversation encourages a more balanced way of living. It’s a simple, grounding reminder that we’re all doing our best and that it’s okay to want more than just survival.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis joins us to explore what happens when faith, exhaustion, and the pressures of real life all show up at once. You can be faithful, tired, and frustrated at the same time—and still lead with love.We dive into the importance of authentic presence and why growth and transformation aren’t about perfection. It’s about showing up as your real self, allowing yourself to feel what you feel without shame, and redefining what resilience really means.Dr. Phyllis shares a practical three-step tool to help you check in with yourself when frustration arises:Admit – acknowledge your feelings without judgmentAllow – give yourself permission to feelAlign – choose how to respond in a way that reflects your values and faithThis episode is a reminder that being human, with all your emotions and imperfections, actually makes you a stronger caregiver, leader, and follower of God.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis explores what happens in the space between the urge to say yes and the decision to follow through. She shares a personal story from her caregiving role, along with an unexpected lesson that came from caring for her dogs. What began as small, reactive moments turned into a deeper realization about how often we move straight from impulse into action without checking in first.Every decision is a doorway, and most of us walk through way too fast.Dr. Phyllis introduces the pause process, a simple, practical tool you can use before making both major decisions and everyday yeses. This isn’t about overthinking. It’s about creating enough space to notice what’s driving the urge.She breaks down how to slow the moment, recognize urgency for what it is, and choose intentionally instead of reflexively.Not every need is ours to meet. Not every opportunity is ours to own.If you’ve ever said yes and immediately felt overwhelmed, resentful, or full of regret, this episode offers a grounded way to do things differently next time.

As the new year begins, this episode is an invitation to pause.Dr. Phyllis shares why she made the intentional decision to slow down instead of adding more. Less running around. Fewer new responsibilities. More space to tend to her own health and to simply live, grow, and experience life as it unfolds.We talk about what happens when you stop worrying about what other people think and start listening to what God is actually asking of you. When the only voices that matter are His and your own, something shifts. There is freedom in choosing to take care of yourself without guilt.This conversation explores where God may be inviting us to rest, how rest brings us back into alignment, and why restoration is not selfish. It is necessary.If you are entering this year tired, overwhelmed, or feeling the pull to slow down but unsure if you are allowed to, this episode will meet you right there.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis explores the shift from living on autopilot to stepping into agency and trusting God with your next step, especially when the path forward feels unclear.She reflects on her years as a physician, the fear she experienced when retiring, and the realization that medicine was not her final destination. Stepping away required more than belief. It required action, surrender, and a willingness to stop reacting and start choosing intentionally.Dr. Phyllis introduces the TRUST framework as a practical guide for navigating uncertainty. TRUST begins with taking a pause to create space instead of reacting. It continues with reflecting through prayer and meditation to gain clarity. The next step is unpacking fears honestly rather than ignoring them. From there comes surrendering the outcome and releasing the need for control. Finally, TRUST calls for taking the next small step forward, even when the full picture is not yet clear.This episode reminds listeners that agency is not about having all the answers. It is about trusting God in the next step and allowing faith to shape how decisions are made.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

In this holiday episode, Dr. Phyllis explores the idea of presence over performance, especially for high achieving Christian women who feel pulled into “Martha mode” during the holidays. She shares how the pressure to host, fix, and keep everything running smoothly can crowd out meaningful connection.Drawing from her own experiences as a physician and coach, Dr. Phyllis reflects on how problem solving habits often spill into personal relationships. Instead of listening, we rush to offer answers, missing opportunities to be fully present with the people we love.She introduces her simple LISTEN method as a way to slow down and connect more deeply. By leaning in, asking open ended questions, allowing silence, and responding with empathy, listening becomes an intentional practice rather than another task.This episode invites listeners to choose presence as their holiday gift, letting go of the urge to fix and making space for deeper understanding and connection.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis talks about something many people struggle with: being kind to themselves when they fall short. So many people are juggling a lot while still showing up with a smile, acting like everything is fine. But mistakes happen, plans fall apart, and things do not always go the way we expect.Dr. Phyllis shares a personal story about being late and openly admitting she had a lot going on. That moment leads into a conversation about grace, honesty, and what it looks like to keep moving forward even when you are not showing up in the way you want.The episode centers on the idea of progress, not perfection. Dr. Phyllis reminds listeners that those “hit the fan” moments are part of life, and that self forgiveness matters more than self blame. She offers a simple approach to stepping out of autopilot, noticing self judgment, choosing a kinder response, and redirecting toward the next positive step.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

In today’s episode, Dr. Phyllis talks about something we all need more of in our day. A pause. She opens up about what it has looked like to be in the thick of caregiving, how much growth has come from this season, and how it pushed her to take an honest look at herself. She shares how slowing her life was never the answer, but slowing the moment was.Dr. Phyllis walks through a story from her own life that reminded her to slow down long enough to breathe, notice what is happening, and reset before moving forward. That reset is the heart of this conversation.She introduces a simple practice she calls the sixty second reset. It is quick, intentional, and something you can use anytime you feel overwhelmed or pulled in too many directions. All it takes is three deep breaths and a clear choice about your next action. When you do that, you interrupt the autopilot, break the busyness, and return to yourself.This episode is a reminder that it only takes one breath, one pause, and one present moment to come back into alignment.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis invites you to pause and look at your alignment—not just your schedule, but the way you’re moving through life. When you choose presence on purpose, even in small pockets of time, you start to see where you’ve been running on empty and where God is nudging you back to center.She shares a recent moment when she reclaimed a few hours in her week and realized how much a small shift can change the way you show up. God didn’t design us to push through nonstop. He designed us to live aligned with Him.Dr. Phyllis also walks through a simple framework for realignment:A – Ask yourself an honest questionL – Look at what’s taking your time and energyI – Invite God into itG – Give yourself permissionN – Name your next stepThis isn’t about finding two hours every day. Most of us don’t have that. It’s about choosing one intentional block of time and using it in a way that makes you feel grounded and alive.“He restores my soul.” Restoration often happens in the quiet moments where you pause and let God meet you. He isn’t asking you to constantly pour out. He’s leading you back to rest, back to awareness, back to Himhttp://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Life can feel overwhelming when you’re juggling a lot and running on auto-pilot. In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a moment that shook her and helped her realize the importance of being fully present. Presence is where strength is restored, and God sees every moment you choose to slow down rather than just push through.Dr. Phyllis shares three ways God renews you in the hard places. First, spiritually, through faithful presence, allowing His strength to fill you even when you feel depleted. Second, emotionally, through self-acknowledgement, taking a moment to recognize how you feel and what you need. Third, physically, through rest and support, because running on auto-pilot without care for yourself drains your body and mind.She reminds us that life can feel demanding and often the appreciation we receive from others can feel fleeting or expected. Even so, God sees every late night, every early morning, every hard decision, and every unseen act of love. Slow down when you can, focus on one way to renew yourself this week, and remember that you don’t have to be perfect—just keep showing up.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

This month Dr. Phyllis is doing something meaningful for National Family Caregivers Month with a three part series, and today’s episode is the second conversation in that series. Dr. Phyllis leans into a topic that so many people overlook when they are stretched thin and overwhelmed. Your attitude and the heart posture God calls you to hold on to in the middle of hard seasons.When life feels heavy it becomes easy to slip into survival mode. Your perspective gets blurry, your reactions feel bigger than usual, and your sense of direction gets a little lost. In this episode Dr. Phyllis talks about how God uses these tough seasons to slow you down and gently reset the way you think, respond, and show up.She explains how your heart posture can shift your entire experience, why this matters so much for caregivers, and how small attitude changes open the door to renewed clarity and peace.If you are walking through a challenging season, this conversation will help you see how God meets you right in the middle of it and uses it to bring your perspective back into focus.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

When life feels heavy and the days start to blur together, it’s easy to slip into survival mode without even realizing it. In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares encouragement for anyone walking through a difficult season and wondering how to keep believing when life feels too much.God meets us in the hard places not to break us but to restore us. Faith is easy to talk about when things are going well, but it’s in the testing that our faith grows deeper. Even when you feel stretched or unsure, this season will not last forever.Dr. Phyllis also walks through a simple self-coaching practice called the 3 Rs to help you move from numbness to renewal: Recognize where you’ve gone numb, Remember God’s presence, and Rebuild through small, steady steps of faith.You’re not failing. You’re growing. Don’t rush to get back to normal. Allow yourself to move through the process, trusting that God is in control. With His guidance, you’ll continue to grow, and He will do a new thing in you.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

You might notice something different about the podcast—new name, new season, new energy. Welcome to Awake and Aligned, where Dr. Phyllis guides you to step out of auto-pilot and start living fully present in your life and purpose.In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares her own journey of being out of alignment and what it taught her about living awake. Purpose isn’t about striving or checking off boxes—it’s about choosing alignment for yourself, noticing when life has been on auto-pilot, and taking intentional steps to live fully engaged.We explore what it really means to listen between the lines of your life, why auto-pilot isn’t just a scheduling issue but a soul issue, and how small, mindful choices can bring you into alignment.This week’s reflection: Find a quiet moment and ask yourself, Where in my life have I been running on routine and auto-pilot instead of being fully engaged?Key Takeaways:Alignment is a choice, not a chase.Auto-pilot is a soul problem, not just a schedule problem.Living awake is possible when you slow down, notice, and act intentionally.Tune in to hear Dr. Phyllis share stories and insights that will inspire you to step into your next chapter fully awake and aligned.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

We all have those days where nothing goes according to plan and life feels messy and out of rhythm. But what if those moments are not setbacks, but invitations to shift your focus?In this episode, Dr. Phyllis reminds us that sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is keep showing up. It is not about being perfect, it is about being persistent.She shares how she had to let go of perfectionism and learn to realign with what truly matters. Through prayer, pause, and perspective, she invites us to reset, simplify our expectations, and focus on faithfulness instead of flawlessness.You will hear practical ways to pause and invite God into the moment, let go of unrealistic expectations, extend grace when you fall short, and refocus on what actually needs your attention today.God never asked us to be perfect, only present. When life feels like it is unraveling, choose to show up anyway. Breathe, reset, and remember that you cannot walk in peace if you are punishing yourself for being human.Listen in for encouragement, truth, and a reminder that persistence is its own kind of progress.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

When life feels heavy, our heads naturally bow. Our shoulders tense, our hearts race, and we try to push through. But what if the most sacred thing you could do in that moment isn’t to keep going — it’s to pause and look up?In this episode, Dr. Phyllis invites you to take what she calls a holy pause . A simple act of releasing control and reconnecting with peace. She shares her personal story of learning to breathe again when life felt out of control and how one intentional look up changed everything.Through her powerful B.R.E.A.T.H. practice:Be still. Release control. Engage your breath. Acknowledge. Thank Him. Hold peace.Dr. Phyllis reminds us that every breath can become a sacred reset for your soul.Before you dive into your to-do list, take a moment to pause and breathe. This short practice could transform the way you move through your day and remind you who’s truly holding it all together.If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed or stretched thin, this episode will help you slow down, lift your gaze, and find peace right where you are.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Ever felt like you’re doing all the right things, serving, praying, showing up, and still feel spiritually tired? Like your faith is running on autopilot? You’re not alone. Many of us find ourselves moving through the motions, doing for God but forgetting to simply be with Him.In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares what happens when faith becomes performance driven instead of presence filled. She talks about that inner tension between our Martha and Mary selves, the part of us that loves to serve and the part that longs to rest at Jesus’ feet. Both matter, but sometimes one needs to pause so the other can breathe.Dr. Phyllis also shares her simple yet powerful SIT framework to help you slow down and reconnect with God in a meaningful way.S means Stop the SpinI means Invite God InT means Take a SeatThis isn’t about doing more, it’s about being more present. Because being busy for God isn’t the same as being with God. When we pause long enough to listen, stillness turns into strength, and faith begins to flow from a place of overflow instead of depletion.If you’ve been running on spiritual empty, this conversation will remind you that God doesn’t need your performance, He wants your presence.http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Have you ever sat down, ready to rest — maybe with your coffee and Bible in hand — and before you know it, you’re scrolling through your phone, your mind already chasing the next thing? You wanted peace, but somehow ended up feeling more restless.In this episode, Dr. Phyllis opens up about a struggle so many high-achieving women face: wanting stillness but finding it hard to stop. She shares how her own moments of “rest” often turn into distractions and how losing her mother deepened her understanding of what it really means to pause. Through honest reflection and gentle wisdom, Dr. Phyllis helps us see that rest isn’t the absence of activity but it’s the presence of awareness.You’ll learn practical steps for reclaiming rest in your everyday life: preparing your space, removing distractions, acknowledging the discomfort of stillness, uncovering the deeper “why” behind your urge to stay busy, and surrendering that constant search for more. Instead of resisting silence, Dr. Phyllis invites you to welcome it — to let God meet you there and fill those pauses with peace instead of noise.If you’ve ever found yourself reaching for your phone instead of your breath, or filling your quiet moments with more doing, this episode will remind you that true rest is possible and it starts with learning how to simply be still and know.Quotes from Today’s Episode:“When we fill our pauses with scrolling, planning or busyness, we unintentionally trade presence for distraction and call it downtime.""I believe that when we do this, we're avoiding stillness. Just like me, I was feeling the pause instead of feeling it. God was right there waiting for me at that moment. But I was looking everywhere else."http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Have you ever woken up already exhausted, wondering how you’ll make it through a day that feels heavier than the one before? Have you ever felt like you’re walking in the shadows, carrying more than your soul can handle, and wondered if God even sees you there?Dr. Phyllis shares a deeply personal message about walking through the valleys of life and leaning on God’s presence when the weight feels unbearable. Drawing from her experience as a healthcare leader during the height of the pandemic, balancing unexpected caregiving responsibilities for her mother, and navigating the emotional fallout of personal and professional challenges, she opens up about what it truly means to hold on when life feels overwhelming.Through this story, Dr. Phyllis reflects on the autopilot mindset many of us fall into—reacting to life instead of being fully present—and the moment she realized she couldn’t carry everything alone. Psalm 23:4 became a guiding light.If you’ve ever felt overburdened, isolated, or unsure of how to move forward, this episode is a reminder that you are not forsaken. You’ll hear honest, heartfelt encouragement to pause, release the weight you’ve been holding, and lean fully into God’s guidance—even in the seasons that feel darkest.She introduces the “HOLD” approach for getting through tough seasons:Honor the weight you feelOpen your heart to God's presenceLean on small steps of faithDeclare the valley as temporaryWhether you’re juggling multiple roles, navigating personal loss, or simply need hope in a difficult season, this conversation will inspire you to keep moving forward, one step at a time, with faith that you are seen, held, and supported.Quotes from Today's Episode:“God's presence makes the difference in your life. And so I want you to remember that you may be feeling burdened, but you're not forsaken. It's just a season.”Let’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

​​In this episode, Dr. Phyllis opens up about navigating a season of life that looks very different from what she once imagined—balancing the care of a loved one, managing her household, stepping into retirement after decades in medical practice, and tending to her own personal and spiritual growth. With so many demands pulling her in different directions, she’s faced the reality of an ever-growing to-do list.Dr. Phyllis shares how she’s learning to shift her perspective: rather than measuring her worth by what gets done, she’s embracing “grace for the gaps”—the space between what we plan and what actually happens. She encourages listeners to be fully present, release unrealistic expectations, and allow God’s timing to shape their days instead of living on autopilot.Dr. Phyllis reminds us that showing up with love, embracing interruptions, and serving others is deeply fulfilling and aligns with God’s rhythm.Practical guidance in this episode includes her FLOW method:F: Filter the frustration – acknowledge it, but don’t let it control your day.L: Let go of the list – your worth isn’t determined by unchecked boxes; release them to God.O: Open to the opportunity – notice what did happen and the ways God might be working through unexpected moments.W: Walk in grace – reset your day according to God’s rhythm, not resentment.Dr. Phyllis encourages listeners to journal one thing they need to release and one unexpected blessing they can be thankful for. She closes with Proverbs 16:3, a reminder that trusting God with our plans brings peace and purpose.This episode is a heartfelt reminder to give yourself grace, stay present, and trust that God fills the gaps with His perfect timing.Quotes from Today’s Episode:"It's so easy says to measure our worth by what got checked off instead of how present we were with what really mattered.""When we measure the day only by what didn't get done, we stay stuck in resentment and frustration. But when we shift into God's rhythm, we can reset, release the gaps, and recognize the grace and flow of life."Let’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams00:00 Unexpected Retirement Challenges04:35 "Finding Home and Presence"09:59 Embrace God's Rhythm for Fulfillment14:52 "Staying Joyful and Fulfilled"18:04 "Commit to the Lord's Guidance"

Ever feel like a past season of life was wasted? On this episode of the Own Your Yes Podcast, Dr. Phyllis reminds listeners that nothing is ever wasted when a yes is placed in God’s hands. What felt like a detour, delay, or dead end may actually have been preparation for a future breakthrough.Dr. Phyllis shares a story about a dying key fob battery that became a powerful example of how past “failures” or missteps can equip us for the present. Every skill, lesson, and challenge contributes to growth and readiness for what comes next, even when it isn’t obvious at the time.Listeners will learn the PREP approach—Perspective, Remember, Equip, Purpose—to reframe past seasons as seed time rather than wasted time. This episode encourages journaling, reflection, and reclaiming the value in past experiences.Romans 8:28 reminds believers that all things work together for good. Through this episode, Dr. Phyllis emphasizes that every yes, every effort, and every season in life has meaning and purpose.Quotes from Today’s Episode:"Practice speaking life into your past by affirming that season equipped me for today and the future."Let’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams00:00 "Embrace Life's Purposeful Seasons"05:01 "Revise Frustration: Embrace Preparation"08:49 "Nothing Wasted: Trust Your Journey"

Have you ever walked into a room and immediately wondered if you belong there? In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares how embracing your God-given worth allows you to show up confidently—without waiting for anyone else’s validation.She takes you through her personal story of feeling out of place and the moment it clicked: belonging isn’t about permission; it’s about recognizing the value God has already placed in you. Dr. Phyllis introduces her WORTH framework—Walk in truth, Own your space, Release the gaze, Trust God’s design, and Hold your head high—to help you step into every room knowing you belong.This episode will guide you to stop apologizing for your presence, release fear of judgment, and carry yourself with confidence grounded in truth. Dr. Phyllis also shares journaling prompts and a scripture from Psalm 139:14 to help you internalize your worth and speak it over yourself daily.You were created intentionally, and your presence matters. Say yes to your worth, trust God’s design, and watch how your confidence transforms every space you enter.Quotes from Today’s Episode:“To know your worth so deeply that you don't need anyone else's validation to take up space."Let’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams​​00:00 Unsettling Salon Stare03:37 Uncomfortable Stare Encounter06:57 "The Worth Approach: Embrace Self-Worth"10:39 "Self-Worth and Belonging Journaling"

What if the stories that once held you back could actually become stepping stones toward healing and growth? In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares how rewriting old narratives doesn’t require a grand moment—sometimes it starts with something as simple as trying avocado toast after decades of avoidance.Through her personal story, Dr. Phyllis shows how small acts of courage, curiosity, and self-compassion can help us shift the way we relate to our past. You don’t have to erase what’s happened—you only need to reclaim your present.She also introduces her REDO framework:R – Revisit with curiosityE – Extend yourself compassionD – Do one small brave thing at a timeO – Open to new possibilitiesWhether it’s in a relationship, your career, or everyday choices, the old narratives don’t have to define you anymore. Healing starts with just one small step.Ask yourself: What story are you still letting define you? This week, take one small step to let go of the past and rewrite how it shows up in your present.Quotes from Today’s Episode:“You don't need to erase the past. You just need to reclaim your present”“When you give yourself permission to take small steps of healing in the present, you allow the past to lose its power over you”Let’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams​​00:00 "Finding Peace in Avocado Toast"05:54 Overcoming Childhood Avocado Misconception08:03 "Embracing Avocado: A Vegan's Journey"12:49 "Rewriting Past Narratives"17:21 "Reclaim Your Story: Small Steps"18:56 Purpose and Response

Ever notice how heavy life feels when everything on your list turns into a “have to”?I have to get up early. I have to go to work. I have to make dinner. I have to take care of everyone else. When life is framed this way, it can start to feel exhausting and joyless.In this episode, Dr. Phyllis invites you to flip the switch—to shift from living in obligation to living with opportunity. Instead of “I have to,” you begin to say, “I get to.” That one small change can completely reframe how you see your day.She walks you through practical steps to help you do this: grounding yourself in gratitude, noticing where you’re feeling depleted, filtering and triaging what’s really important, and making space for what God is calling you to do.What if instead of saying, “I have to go to work,” you reframed it as, “I get to use my skills”? That mindset shift can open the door to peace, presence, and even joy—right in the middle of everyday life.This conversation will encourage you to slow down, breathe, and remember that joy isn’t found in the hustle of checking off your to-do list. It’s found when you choose to flip the switch.Let’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Life doesn’t always go as planned, and it’s so easy to get stuck in frustration, discouragement, or regret. But joy isn’t something you have to wait for—it’s something you can choose today. In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares how to say yes to joy and gratitude, even in the middle of the chaos.She talks about what it looks like to anchor yourself in joy when everything feels overwhelming, how to break through the clouds of gloom that try to overshadow your peace, and why gratitude is the daily voice that can shift everything.Dr. Phyllis explores what it means to own your yes—to stand in who you are, own your story, and stay present. And even when life feels heavy, we can choose the declaration of “yet”—yet I will rejoice, yet I will be grateful, yet I will find joy.If you’ve been feeling depleted or disappointed, this episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and ask yourself: Where can I say yes to joy today?This conversation with Dr. Phyllis will empower, inspire, and remind you that God is always present—guiding you to gratitude, joy, and transformation.Quotes from Today’s Episode:“Joy doesn’t have to be something you wait for”Let’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

In this 100th episode, Dr. Phyllis explores the truth that joy is not found in perfectly executed plans, but in presence, purpose, and flexibility. Drawing on decades of experience in medicine, personal reflections, and wisdom from her late mother, she shares how to release control and adopt a “flex and flow” mindset that creates space for authentic joy—even when life goes off-script.Through stories from her own journey and insights gained from serving as a hospice physician, Dr. Phyllis reveals the importance of focusing on what truly matters, letting go of the illusion of control, and opening yourself to the present moment. She introduces the FLOW framework:F: Focus on what truly mattersL: Let go of the illusion of controlO: Open yourself to the momentW: Weigh the worth of your “yes”This episode is especially relevant for high-achieving Christian women navigating the tension between doing and being. It offers practical ways to shift from rigidity to flexibility, fostering fulfillment in both personal and professional roles.A milestone episode dedicated to growth, resilience, and living a life aligned with God’s calling.Quotes from Today’s Episode:"Joy doesn't come from everything going as planned. It comes from the moments we stop forcing and we start flowing and we allow space for what truly matters."(00:00) "Finding Fulfillment and Letting Go"(05:06) "Matriarch's Legacy and Reflection"(10:51) Finding Joy in Life's Transitions(12:57) Embracing Change and Saying Yes(18:56) "Balancing Parenting and Personal Growth"(22:12) "Creating Quality Family Time"(24:24) "Embrace Flow, Find Joy"(30:33) Presence Over Perfection(32:24) "Embrace Flexibility in Unexpected Times"(35:05)"Celebrating 100 Episodes Together"Let’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

​​In this episode, Dr. Phyllis dives into a powerful message about the difference between good intentions and purposeful action. She explores how good intentions, while well-meaning, can sometimes pull us away from our true purpose—especially when they start to drain our energy, disrupt our finances, or take us off course.Dr. Phyllis shares how to honor your good intentions without letting them override what really matters to you right now. She guides you through an approach to discern whether your “yes” is truly serving your purpose or secretly draining your power.You’ll learn the POWER method to take back your energy and realign your choices:Pause before you purchase or pledgeOwn your intentionWeigh the costExamine for overloadRecommit to purposeThis framework helps you make decisions and say yes from a place of alignment — not anxiety.If you’re ready to stop letting good intentions drain your energy and start making choices that truly serve you, this episode is for you.Quotes from Today’s Episode:"Sometimes our yes is rooted in a fear of missing out, falling short, or failing someone we love. But what if those good intentions are quietly pulling us off our purpose?""Let your yes come from alignment with your purpose, not anxiety”(00:00) Balancing Life, Family, and Cooking(04:00) Appliance Overload Dilemma(10:27) Identifying Energy Drains(14:06) "Own Your Intentional Yes"(17:27) Embracing the Joy of Missing Out(18:40) "Overcoming Scarcity Mindset"(22:05) Empowered Decisions: Yes or Overload?(25:54) Farewell BlessingsLet’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis opens up about her personal journey from constantly running on a treadmill of doing, achieving, and chasing the next crisis—toward a life that feels more peaceful, grounded, and fulfilling. She talks about the moment she realized work is just a means to an end, not the core of her identity, and how learning to slow down changed everything.When we’re always striving, we miss what’s right in front of us. Presence, she shares, isn’t just a nice idea—it’s how we actually experience the life we’ve been praying for. The joy, the peace, the fulfillment—it’s already here. We just have to stop long enough to notice it.Dr. Phyllis introduces a powerful approach to living in the moment using the acronym SAVOR:S – Slow down your thoughts. Be where your feet are.A – Acknowledge the moment. Ask: Where am I right now?V – Voice your desire.O – Open yourself to win. Celebrate even the small victories.R – Rejoice in the moment.This episode is an invitation to stop chasing and start savoring. Because presence isn’t passive—it’s something we practice. And it’s what helps us feel fully alive.Quotes from Today’s Episode:"Trying to be the martyr is overrated and underappreciated and just not sustainable as well.""Creating presence is the key to having joy, is the key to having joy. It's the key to finding moments of peace."(00:00) "Reclaim Purpose, Redefine Identity"(03:1) "Sustainable Productivity Over Frantic Martyrdom"(06:20) Embracing Life Beyond Work(10:21) "From Doing to Being Fulfilled"(15:30) "Embrace the Present Moment"(18:15) Celebrate Small Wins(22:48) Finding Fulfillment in PresenceLet’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

You can be loyal and still feel lost. Faithful but unfulfilled. Stuck in something that once felt right—but now just feels heavy.In today’s episode, Dr. Phyllis is talking about the quiet discomfort of staying in a role, relationship, or responsibility that no longer fits. When your “yes” begins to drain you instead of energize you, it may be time to pause and ask: Is this still aligned with what God is doing in me now?Recently on a walk, I was reminded that loyalty without inspiration starts to feel like obligation. That nudge led me to this simple framework to help process when it's time to release something—even if it still looks “good” on the outside.The A.C.T. Framework:A – Acknowledge the expired yesC – Clarify what inspires you nowT – Take permission to transitionLet this be your permission to reflect, realign, and take the next step—one that’s rooted in purpose, not pressure.Journal Prompts to Go Deeper:What am I currently saying yes to that no longer inspires or energizes me?Am I staying in this situation out of fear, guilt, or obligation?What part of me is afraid to let go—and what would help me feel safe to release it?What currently inspires me? What am I curious or excited about that I’ve been ignoring?If I believed God had something new for me, what would I begin to release to make room for it?Quotes from Today’s Episode:“Loyalty without inspiration becomes obligation. And obligation without alignment leads to depletion.”00:00 "Aligning Your Yes with Now"05:50 Thriving with Scleroderma: A Vegan Choice09:39 Vegan Dining Dilemma11:10 Choosing Fulfillment in Dining14:51 "Embrace Your New Season"18:14 Reflective Journal PromptsLet’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Have you ever felt completely drained—even while doing everything “right”? You’re showing up, checking all the boxes, and still feel off. Dr. Phyllis calls this what it is: depletion. But depletion doesn’t always come from doing too much. It often comes from giving too much to the wrong things.We slowly get pulled into other people’s priorities, needs, and timelines—sometimes without even realizing it. Before long, we’re spending our energy on things God never actually asked us to carry. And that’s when the frustration, emptiness, and burnout show up. Depletion is often a sign of misalignment.In this episode, Dr. Phyllis offers a simple but powerful way to pause and reflect—a four-step process to help you realign your energy and return to what you’ve truly been called to steward.Step 1: Recognize what’s pulling at you.Step 2: Name what you’ve been handing over.Step 3: Reset the boundaries.Step 4: Refocus on what you’re called to steward.Dr. Phyllis reminds us that when God isn’t our GPS, we start handing our keys to the wrong drivers. And that’s when we lose direction. So ask Him again. Invite discernment back in. Reclaim your energy by keeping your yes aligned with your assignment.You weren’t made to run on empty. You were made to move forward—rooted in peace, fueled by purpose, and clear on what’s yours to carry.Quotes from Today’s Episode:“When you consistently give your energy to what God never assigns to you, you will feel overextended and under fulfilled."(00:00) Freedom Redefined Through Shared Keys(04:24) "Misalignment Leads to Depletion"(09:45) "Reclaim Priorities and Boundaries"(12:49) "God as Your GPS(18:10) Live Intentionally: Make Room

You’re the hero in everyone else’s story… but somewhere along the way, you became a ghost in your own. In today’s episode, Dr. Phyllis is sharing a message that so many women need but rarely give themselves permission to hear: You are allowed to matter in your own life.When you spend your days caring for everyone else—your family, your team, your friends, your community—it’s easy to forget that you are a person with needs too. And if you're honest, sometimes meeting your own needs feels selfish. But it's not. In fact, you have to care for yourself if you want to keep showing up well for the people who need you most.Dr. Phyllis breaks down her powerful S.E.L.F. framework to help you reconnect with your purpose and joy:S – Silence your inner critic.E – Embrace your needs.L – Look for joy.F – Follow through.It’s not enough to just talk about caring for yourself. You have to take action.Dr. Phyllis knows what it’s like to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. But she also knows the power of deciding that your story matters, too. This is your permission to start saying yes to you. To stop running on empty. And to unlock the joy that’s been waiting for you all along.Quotes from Today’s Episode:"What if the key to unlocking true joy isn't about saying yes to more demands, but finally saying yes to you?""We as high achieving Christian women, we're always trying to pour into others and it can be very difficult for us to receive.(00:00) Revitalizing Routine: Makeup Boost(04:40) "Creating Personal Moments Amid Chaos"(08:33) Inclusive and Relaxing Salon Experience(11:57) "Prioritize Self-Care for Fulfillment"(13:57) "SELF: Silencing Inner Critic"(17:42) "Prioritize Self-Care and Joy"Let’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Dr. Phyllis speaks to the woman who’s craving real connection but feels guarded after being let down, overlooked, or even wounded by past friendships. When trust has been broken, it takes courage to open up again. But staying isolated only deepens the ache.Dr. Phyllis invites listeners to look honestly at their relationships and ask: Who is in my inner circle? Are these friendships rooted in faith, mutual care, and truth? Are they giving life—or slowly draining it?Using her powerful COURAGE framework, she unpacks what to look for in life-giving friendships:C – Christ-centeredO – Open-heartedU – UnwaveringR – ReciprocalA – AccountableG – Grace-filledE – EncouragingThis episode is a call to stop settling for surface-level connections and instead invest in the kind of community that heals, supports, and uplifts. Because real friendship isn’t about having more—it’s about having the right ones.Whether you’ve been burned, lifted, or somewhere in between, this message will help you step into connection with discernment, wisdom, and renewed hope.Quotes from Today's Episode:"We're not looking for the number, we're looking for the quality."00:00 Courage to Connect: Embrace Friendships05:17 Overcoming Negative Emotions08:56 Courage in Building Meaningful Friendships12:00 Evaluating Friendships for Quality16:33 Accountability in Friendship17:44 Cultivating Forgiveness in FriendshipsLet’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Presence doesn’t show up on its own—we have to create it. That’s something Dr. Phyllis knows deeply, both personally and professionally. In this episode, she shares why making presence a daily priority is one of the most powerful shifts we can make in our lives.For a long time, Dr. Phyllis was going through the motions. Life felt like a loop—autopilot routines, passive days, and that quiet question many of us ask: When do I actually start enjoying life? She knew she wanted more time with God. More focus on her health. More energy. But she hadn’t taken ownership of her presence—and that was the missing piece.Presence is active. It doesn’t happen just because we want it. We have to choose it, daily. And when we don’t, it’s easy to fall into patterns of disconnection, wondering how we got so far away from what matters.In this conversation, Dr. Phyllis introduces her signature PAUSE Method—a simple, powerful framework that helps you intentionally create moments of presence in your everyday life.P — Prepare your mindset dailyA — Anchor in awarenessU — Use micro moments wiselyS — Surrender what you can’t controlE — Engage fully where your feet arePresence is a daily yes. And it’s one you can start saying right now. What’s one trigger that pulls you out of presence? Start there. Because when you can name it, you can start creating the space to pause—on purpose.Quotes from Today’s Episode: "I was living a life on autopilot where I was just going through the motions, being so disconnected about from what was going on around me.""Presence is not something others create for you.”(00:00) Living on Autopilot, Unengaged(04:00) "Capturing Moments, Missing Life"(11:11) Harness Micro Moments Mindfully(13:49) "Embrace Presence, Release Burdens"(15:37) "Practicing Presence IntentionallyLet’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

Guilt can be subtle, but its impact is heavy. It clouds discernment, distorts priorities, and often pushes people into cycles of overdoing. It convinces high-achieving women that more effort means more value. But God never asked for hustle. He asked for trust.Dr. Phyllis reminds us: Presence begins where guilt ends. Letting go of what God didn’t assign makes space for peace, clarity, and joy. True presence isn’t found in performance—it’s found in faithful obedience.Use the GIFT framework to break the cycle and return to what matters:G – Get honest about guilt.Identify where it’s showing up and what it’s attached to.I – Invite God into your thoughts.Guilt was never meant to be processed alone.F – Focus on faithful obedience, not over-functioning.Doing more doesn’t equal being more. Obedience is enough.T – Trust that presence is enough.You weren’t made to carry every burden or be in every room. Presence holds power—without the need to prove.Letting go of guilt isn’t about doing less—it’s about carrying only what God has asked. That’s where discernment sharpens. That’s where peace returns. That’s where presence begins.Quotes from Today’s Episodes:“Every situation isn’t yours just because you CAN.”“Presence begins where guilt ends”(00:00) Learning to Accept, Not Fix(05:44) Courage to Change: A Personal Journey(09:59) Gift Framework: Reclaim Presence, Release Guilt(16:25) Faith, Trust, and Discernment(19:28) Finding Courage and Divine Guidance(21:57) Embrace Growth and Let GoLet’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

“Let it go.” “Shake it off.” “Don’t let what they said get to you.”We’ve all heard these lines. Maybe we’ve even said them to ourselves. But what happens when the words don’t bounce off? When they actually stick—and quietly start shaping how we see ourselves?Dr. Phyllis unpacks the unspoken agreements we make with hurtful words. The ones we don’t even realize we’ve internalized. Maybe someone at work said something that hit too close. Maybe a family member made a comment that felt like a jab. And instead of confronting it, we absorbed it. We told ourselves to keep going. To be strong. To be resilient.But somewhere along the way, we stopped questioning those words—and started believing them. Dr. Phyllis explains how words that go unchallenged can influence our identity and quietly chip away at our inner power. She invites us to pause and ask: What wounds were opened by what was said? Have I been carrying words that were never meant for me?She walks us through her ARC framework—a way to reclaim who we are and what we believe. Acknowledge the wound. Name the moment. Reclaim your truth by asking: Do I even believe this? Cancel the agreement by speaking new words. Words that align with who you are, not who someone else claimed you were.One of the most powerful tools she suggests? Writing a wound word release letter. Something simple and honest. “I’ve been carrying the words ____. They were never mine to hold. I choose to release them.”Because yes, words have power. But so do you. And you get to decide which ones you carry forward.Quotes from Today’s Episodes:"Words that go unchallenged can quietly shape your identity and influence your inner power.""I've been carrying the words blank, but today I release them. They do not define me. I choose to believe this and I choose to walk in that truth."(00:00) Marginalized and Undervalued Experiences(06:29) Spiritual Warfare and Self-Realization(08:07) "Unchallenged Words Shape Identity"(14:22) "Break Negative Agreements"(15:14) Release Limiting Words(20:11) Embrace the Power of Yes(22:39) "Grow the Own Your Yes Community"Let’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

When Dr. Phyllis started this podcast, she didn’t have all the answers or perfect timing. What she had was a tug on her heart—a quiet knowing it was time to begin, even without feeling fully ready.Now, after 90 episodes, one truth stands out: progress begins before perfection.Many believe they must wait until everything is perfect. But showing up in the mess moves you forward. Dr. Phyllis’s journey has been far from polished, yet deeply transformational—and it all began with one faithful yes.If you’re in the messy middle, know you’re not alone. You don’t need every detail figured out or a perfect plan. You just need to take the next faithful step.Here are three principles that helped Dr. Phyllis move forward:1. Give yourself permission to start unpolished.Starting matters most. Progress only comes from movement.2. Stay accountable to one yes. One goal.Focus on one clear yes to stay grounded and avoid overwhelm.3. Let consistency cultivate clarity.Showing up daily—even in the mess—sharpens the vision.Don’t overthink it. Just do it every day. Get back to basics. Keep showing up. Remember: you can be in the messy middle and still be becoming. God doesn’t require perfection—only your willingness to say yes.(00:00) Progress Before Perfection(05:45) Finding My Podcast's True Direction(08:13) Finding My Ministry and Voice(12:58) Embracing Growth and Leadership(15:29) Perfectionism's Trap for Achievers(22:56) Choose One Personal Goal(27:54) Community Building for High AchieversQuotes from Today’s Episode:"You don't need to have all of the answers to honor the next step that God is calling you towards. He just needs you to show up.""Give yourself permission to start unpolished. You don't need to be perfect. You don't need to have the perfect setup. What matters is starting progress can only come from movement."Let’s Connect:http://drphyllishayesreams.com/https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

For so many of us, there's this constant push to perform. You can be doing all the things—leading, achieving, producing—and still feel like it’s never enough. Dr. Phyllis knows that tension well. There was a season where she didn’t just do the work… she became the work.The roles, the pressure, the nonstop motion—it all got tangled up in her identity. Slowing down felt dangerous. Like if she paused, everything would fall apart… including her.But what she learned is this: constant motion doesn’t protect your peace. It postpones your healing. And healing requires stillness.In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares the 3 mindset shifts that helped her break free from performance mode:1. Pausing won’t make you fall behind. Rest isn’t a reward—it’s a reset. Slowing down is how you come back to clarity.2. People might talk. Let them.Fear of judgment can’t run your life. What God is doing in you is louder than their whispers.3.You’re not valuable because of what you do. Your worth was never tied to your output. You were called into being—not just doing.Whether you're feeling the burnout or afraid to slow down, this episode is a gentle reminder that peace doesn’t come from performance—it comes from presence. And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is pause.Quotes from Today’s Episode:"You've been performing so long, it's hard to tell the difference between who you are and what you do.""The truth is, is your identity was never meant to be tied to the output. What you do, God called you into being, to living, not just about what the doing is. You are a human being, not a human doing."(​​00:00) Healthcare Leadership Transition Challenges(05:48) Reevaluating Self-Worth and Success(09:28) Pressure to Perform, Fear to Pause(16:38) Overcoming Fear of Change(20:18) Identifying Fear Keeping You Stuck(24:00) "Engage with 'Unseen, Unspoken, Unwell'"