Becoming in Action

She built her career by being the one who said yes.Yes to more responsibility.Yes to filling gaps.Yes to doing whatever it took to make things work.And it worked… until it didn’t.In this episode, I walk through the moment so many high performers hit but don’t always talk about. When the very traits that made you successful start to burn you out. When caring deeply about quality collides with a system that can’t support it. When you realize you can’t keep doing everything at the level you know it deserves.This is a conversation about more than workload.It’s about what happens when success turns into overreliance.When you become the person who absorbs chaos.When burnout starts to disconnect you from your why.And most importantly, it’s about the pivot.We talk about:Why boundaries are professionalism, not rebellionHow to stop making dysfunction look manageableThe power of small, in-the-moment resets to calm your nervous systemHow to approach the stay vs leave decision without treating it as permanentWhy putting timelines on change gives you back controlAnd why wanting more money is not greed, it’s clarityAt the center of it all is a deeper truth:You are not just choosing between jobs.You are choosing who you are becoming.This episode explores the idea of possible selves. The versions of you that different environments will shape, support, or slowly drain. And how to decide what will actually feed your energy, your standards, and your future.If you’ve ever felt like the role that once proved your capability is now costing you something, this episode will meet you there.Because sometimes growth is not about doing more.It’s about choosing better.

This episode includes discussion of trauma, sexual assault, self-harm, suicide attempts, and serious illness. Please listen with care. In this episode, I sit down with Katy to talk about motherhood, family, and the unexpected ways our lives unfold.What begins as a conversation about her son, Julius, and the way she approaches parenting quickly becomes something much deeper.Katy shares her story. Growing up feeling like she didn’t belong. Navigating loss, trauma, and carrying more than anyone should have to carry alone at such a young age. And what it has looked like to find her way back to herself, again and again.We talk about the relationship she has built with her parents over time, the role her friendships have played in her healing, and how becoming a mother has shifted everything.She shares what it means to listen to her son, to trust him, and to let that relationship guide her in a way that feels both instinctive and intentional.We also talk about her mom. Who she is, what she means to Katy, and how her family is navigating a diagnosis of aggressive breast cancer with honesty, love, and presence.Katy and her sister are participating in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day, walking 60 miles to raise awareness and honor their mom.This conversation is not just about what Katy has been through. It is about who she is. The way she shows up. The way she loves. And the way she is choosing to build something different for her son.If this episode resonates with you, consider sharing it with someone who might need it, or supporting Katy and her family as they prepare for the walk.https://www.the3day.org/site/TR?px=8418553&fr_id=2362&pg=personal&s_src=nuclavismobile&s_subsrc=Nucl_iosM_FdrInTkTkhttp://facebook.com/donate/2051873045684514/?fundraiser_source=external_urlFor anyone impacted by sexual violence, you can reach out to RAINN. They offer a confidential 24/7 hotline and online chat at 800-656-HOPE.If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, you can contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. They are available anytime.You don’t have to carry things like this on your own.And if this episode brought something up for you, consider reaching out to someone you trust, a friend, a therapist, or one of these resources.

What happens when you’ve carried too much for too long?What does it look like to keep showing up on the outside while everything is unraveling on the inside?In this deeply honest conversation, I sit down with Evan, a first responder who spent years serving others while privately carrying the cumulative weight of trauma, loss, stress, and emotional numbness.We talk about the culture of strength and silence, the unseen toll that trauma can take on first responders, and what happens when coping stops working.Joining us is therapist Alice Vandecaveye, who shares how Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can help the brain process unresolved trauma and reduce the emotional charge of painful experiences.Evan shares how EMDR became a turning point in his life, his marriage, and his ability to feel, communicate, and lead again.This episode is about trauma, healing, resilience, and the truth that asking for help can be one of the strongest things a person does.Topics discussed include trauma, suicide, alcohol misuse, officer-involved shootings, and mental health.If you or someone you love works in service, caregiving, emergency response, or carries more than anyone can see, this conversation is for you.Listener ResourcesIf anything in this conversation brought something up for you, support is available.You don’t have to be in crisis to reach out. These are resources for stress, trauma, burnout, or just needing someone to talk to.National Support (U.S. & Canada)988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.)Call or text 98824/7 support for emotional distress, suicidal thoughts, or crisis support.Crisis Text LineText HOME to 741741Free, confidential text-based support, 24/7.Veterans Crisis LineCall 988 then press 1 or text 838255Specialized support for veterans, service members, and families.Safe Call Now (First Responders & Families)1-206-459-302024/7 confidential support for law enforcement, fire, EMS, dispatch, and families.CopLine (Law Enforcement Peer Support)1-800-267-5463Answered by retired officers trained in crisis support.Frontline Responder Services1-866-676-7500Peer-based crisis support and behavioral health resources for first responders.National Fallen Firefighters Foundation – Behavioral Health Supportfirehero.orgResources focused on firefighter wellness, grief, and trauma recovery.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)1-800-662-HELP (4357)Treatment referral and information for mental health and substance use.First Responder Specific Support

Comparison can quietly erode confidence at work. You start second-guessing yourself, staying quiet in meetings, and assuming everyone else has more to offer. In this episode of Real Talk, Real Work, we unpack how comparison becomes the thief of confidence and how to stop letting it run the show.We talk about recognizing when you’re stacking the deck against yourself, reframing what makes you different as your unique value, and using comparison in a healthy way that helps you grow instead of shrink. We also explore why leadership doesn’t have to look one way and how some of the most impactful leaders lead through steadiness, curiosity, creativity, and quiet confidence.If you’ve ever wondered whether you measure up in the room, this episode is for you. Your value may be found in the very things that make you different.

When answers don’t come easily, how do you know when to keep pushing?In this deeply moving episode, Laurie shares the story of knowing something wasn’t right with her son, Grant, even when symptoms were subtle, tests were normal, and reassurance came from every direction. What began as small concerns slowly built into a years-long journey of appointments, second opinions, self-doubt, persistence, and ultimately the diagnosis no parent expects.Laurie opens up about trusting her instincts, advocating when no one else could fully see what she saw, and navigating the fear, uncertainty, and emotional weight of fighting for your child.This conversation is about more than one family’s medical journey. It’s about intuition, resilience, motherhood, partnership, and finding the courage to keep asking questions when the answers aren’t there yet.If you’ve ever wondered whether to trust that quiet inner knowing, this episode is for you.

What if the moments you feel the most emotional are actually the moments where growth is happening?In this episode, I share what it’s looked like for me to shift from a definition of growth rooted in learning to one rooted in feeling.When my son comes home to visit, I want it to feel like pure joy. And part of it does. But there’s also fear, pressure, and emotion tied to a past experience that didn’t go the way I hoped.For a long time, I judged that. Tried to override it. Told myself I should feel differently.Now I’m learning to see those moments as a yield sign.Not something to fix.Not something to push through.But an invitation to notice.We talk about:Why emotional growth can feel activating in your bodyHow shame shows up when your feelings don’t match what you think they should beThe pattern of self-blame as a form of controlAnd what it looks like to shift from being a fixer to a noticerThis episode is personal. It’s about motherhood, pressure, honesty, and what it really means to “do the work.”Because growth isn’t always about becoming more.Sometimes it’s about allowing yourself to feel what’s already there.

In this first Real Life, Real Work episode, I talk about what really happens when we try to strip the “human” out of hard conversations at work.So many of us have been taught to separate our work self from who we are everywhere else. To stick to the facts. To stay neutral. To be professional.But low empathy isn’t neutral. It creates distance. And when there’s no connection, even the most accurate feedback doesn’t land.I share a real client example and walk through a different way to approach these moments. One that isn’t about fixing people, but about helping them access their own clarity and capacity to grow.This episode is about connection before correction, and why leading with heart isn’t soft. It’s what actually makes you more effective.

There are seasons in life when we’re just trying to keep up.And then there are seasons when we realize, we’re actually building something.In this conversation, I sit down with Kathy, a mother of four, recent law school graduate, community leader, and co-founder of Toledo’s Share, to talk about what it really looks like to build a meaningful life in the middle of a full one.We talk about the moment she chose to go to law school after witnessing injustice.The reality of balancing motherhood and ambition.And the quiet but powerful decision to stop chasing what looks successful and start pursuing what actually feels aligned.Kathy shares honestly about guilt, identity, partnership, and what it means to redefine your sense of worth beyond achievement.And one of the lines that stayed with me most:“I’m not chasing money anymore. I’m chasing happiness.”This episode is about courage.About letting go of the performance.And about building something slowly, intentionally, and in a season that may not look perfect, but is exactly where you are meant to begin.So, as you move through your day or week you might want to ask yourself a few questions.What am I building right now?What am I chasing?And is it actually making me happy?

If you listened to the last episode and found yourself sitting with some uncomfortable questions, this is for you.This is a short, 5-minute centering practice for those moments when your mind is racing,when you’re feeling behind,or when that quiet question starts to creep in:Does this even matter?In this meditation, I guide you back to something simpler.Back to your breath.Back to your body.Back to the present moment.Not to fix anything.Not to figure it all out.Just to help you come back to a steadier placewhere you can remind yourself:You’re not behind.You don’t need proof right now.And you can still show up, even in the uncertainty.Come back to this anytime you need a reset.

There’s a question I’ve been sitting with lately:Does this even matter?In this episode, I’m unpacking something that has been quietly driving a lot of my thoughts, emotions, and reactions over the past few weeks… my need to feel like I matter.After leaving my corporate role, I didn’t just lose a job. I lost the structure, the feedback, and the very visible ways I knew I was making an impact. And without that, I’ve found myself questioning everything. Am I doing enough? Am I behind? Is any of this actually working?But as I worked through a pretty emotional week, I realized something uncomfortable but important:Some of what I’ve been doing hasn’t been about showing up. It’s been about wanting to matter.And those are not the same thing.In this episode, I talk about:what social science research says about mattering and why it’s so critical during times of transitionhow losing built-in roles and structure can shake your sense of identity and worththe difference between showing up and seeking validationwhy we don’t actually get to decide if something we do “matters” to someone elseand how I’m shifting from chasing proof… to focusing on how I show upI also share a simple practice I’ve started to help ground myself in this season, and a few reflection questions you can sit with if you’re feeling something similar.If you’re in a season where things feel uncertain, unstructured, or hard to measure… this one is for you.You’re not behind.You’re just no longer being externally paced.

In this conversation, I sit down with Emily Crosby, former collegiate athlete, higher education leader, and now entrepreneur and founder of Throw & Co, to explore what it really looks like to outgrow a path that once felt exactly right.Emily shares her journey from rowing at Notre Dame to building a career in higher education, where she spent years creating meaningful experiences and leading teams. On paper, everything made sense. But internally, something began to shift.We talk about that moment, the quiet realization that nothing is necessarily wrong, but something is no longer aligned.This episode is about identity, community, and the courage it takes to ask yourself a deeper question: Is this still who I am becoming?Emily opens up about the fear of leaving stability, the internal questioning that comes with making a change, and how reconnecting with what brings her joy, gathering people, creating intentional spaces, and putting care into the details, led her to build something of her own.This is a conversation about trusting yourself, honoring evolution, and recognizing that sometimes the path you didn’t plan becomes the one that fits you best.If you’ve ever felt that quiet pull toward something different, this episode is for you.

At some point in midlife, something quietly shifts.From the outside, life may look exactly the way it was supposed to.You’ve built a career.You’ve shown up for your family.You’ve carried responsibility for years.But internally a different question begins to surface:Is this how I want to live the next 20 or 30 years of my life?For decades our culture has labeled this moment a midlife crisis. But the research in developmental psychology suggests something very different is happening.In this episode, I explore why midlife is often not a crisis at all, but a transition in perspective.A shift from achievement to contribution.From proving ourselves to expressing ourselves.From building identity to integrating who we’ve always been.I also share a personal reflection about imagining a reunion with my 16-year-old self. The girl I once believed was too much.Midlife has allowed me to see her differently now. Not with judgment, but with compassion. And that shift in perspective has changed the way I understand growth, identity, and what it means to truly become ourselves.In this conversation, I introduce the Becoming Framework, a model I developed through my coaching work that describes four phases many people move through during this stage of life:• Awareness — realizing something inside you is changing• Clarity — understanding who you are and what matters now• Alignment — reshaping your life so it matches your values• Expression — living authentically and contributing in meaningful waysI also talk about the psychology and neuroscience of midlife, and why this stage of life may actually be one of the most powerful periods for personal growth and change.If you’ve ever felt:• Successful but unfulfilled• Responsible but depleted• Capable but uncertain• Self-aware but stuckYou’re not broken.You may simply be in the middle of an important developmental transition.Midlife isn’t the beginning of decline.In many ways, it’s the beginning of becoming.If you’d like support navigating your own midlife transition, you can learn more about my coaching work at:🌐 https://biapersonalcoaching.comFollow along on Instagram:📸 @biapersonalcoaching

Some people know from a young age who they are meant to be.For Mary, that identity was always tied to art.Growing up in Timmins, Ontario as the only girl in a family rooted in the lumber industry, Mary found early refuge in painting. What began as a childhood escape eventually led her to study fine art and build a career working inside major institutions like the Royal Ontario Museum and the Toledo Museum of Art.But over time, something unexpected happened.The business of art began to replace the love of it.Meetings, budgets, and management responsibilities slowly pushed creativity aside. At one point, Mary realized she was walking past masterpieces by Monet and Van Gogh without even noticing them.So she made a courageous decision: she walked away.In this conversation we explore:• how identity evolves across seasons of life• the quiet courage of redefining success• creativity as a relationship that can ebb and return• why art can sometimes wait patiently for usToday Mary has returned to creating bold, expressive work after decades of living, raising a family, designing homes, and building a life rich with beauty and experience.This episode is about the long arc of creativity and the courage it takes to come back to what you love.

Criticism is one of those words that carries weight before we even understand why. It tightens our chest. It makes us brace. It whispers, you messed up… you’re not enough… you failed.But what if criticism isn’t the enemy?In this episode, I’m unpacking the fear of criticism, how it quietly shapes our decisions, shrinks our visibility, and keeps us choosing approval over alignment. Because often, we’re not afraid of failing… we’re afraid of being seen failing.We’ll talk about:Why criticism feels like a threat to our identityThe difference between constructive feedback and destructive criticismHow fear of judgment keeps us smallThe neuroscience behind why delivery mattersHow high performers unintentionally create feedback problemsPractical ways to receive feedback without collapsingHow to give feedback without harming trust or connectionI’ll also share personal stories — from navigating feedback in my own marriage to leading teams — and the mindset shifts that have helped me reframe criticism as data instead of a diagnosis.The goal isn’t to love criticism.The goal is to stop letting it decide who you are allowed to be.If you’ve ever stayed quiet, played small, or edited yourself to avoid judgment — this conversation is for you.Let’s redefine what criticism means… and learn how to use it instead of letting it use us.

In this episode, I sit down with Holly, a woman who proves that confidence isn’t something you wait for, it’s something you build through action.With no formal training in construction, Holly taught herself how to finish her entire basement. Years later, she turned curiosity and persistence into a thriving Etsy business that now reaches customers around the world. Along the way, she also became a marathon runner, learning firsthand that progress — in fitness, business, and life — comes from showing up consistently, even when it’s hard.This conversation explores courage, imposter syndrome, resilience, and the power of believing that “everything is figureoutable.” Holly’s story is a reminder that becoming isn’t about credentials. It’s about willingness, persistence, and taking the next step before you feel ready.If you’ve ever felt underqualified, stuck, or unsure where to begin, this episode will inspire you to start anyway.

What if community isn’t something we have to create… but something we awaken?In this episode, I reflect on my own journey from childhood loneliness to building a deeply meaningful circle of connection as an adult. Through stories of friendship, hosting gatherings, learning to ask for help, and letting go of control, I explore what it really means to belong—and how community is formed through shared gifts, curiosity, and courage.You’ll hear reflections on:Why community requires both vulnerability and participationThe difference between “throwers” and “goers” — and why both matterLetting people show up for you (even when it feels uncomfortable)How relationships shape who we are becomingCreating space for unexpected connection and magicCommunity doesn’t have to look perfect or polished. Sometimes it’s a ride home, a shared meal, a conversation, or simply someone willing to stay.If you’ve ever felt lonely, longed for deeper connection, or wondered how to find your people, this conversation is for you.Because becoming isn’t something we do alone.And we were never meant to.

Becoming Through Change with BaileyWhat happens when the life you imagined quietly falls apart and you choose to keep becoming anyway?In this episode of BiA – Becoming in Action, I sit down with my friend Bailey, whose last decade has been defined by profound transition. When I met her ten years ago, she was a stay-at-home mom with an infant. Since then, she has navigated miscarriage, returning to work and building a career, divorce, a significant weight-loss journey, re-entering the dating world, and is now newly engaged.This conversation isn’t about reinvention for show. It’s about the real, often unseen work of becoming, learning who you are in the middle of change, choosing growth when certainty disappears, and honoring the many versions of yourself along the way.We talk about:Letting go of identities that no longer fitRebuilding confidence after loss and disruptionEffort vs. ease during seasons of transitionWhat it means to choose yourself—again and againIf you’re in a season of change, questioning who you’re becoming, or learning how to move forward with more intention and self-trust, this episode is for you.Because becoming isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about staying in motion.

In this episode of Bia - Becoming in Action, I discuss how searching for 20 little ducks hidden around my house made me realize that my observation skills need some help. I review some techniques to help with both observation and focus.

In this episode of Bia - Becoming in Action, host Sandy Hebert explores her complicated relationship with effort and ease and what she is doing to create more ease in her lif.

Welcome to Bia – Becoming in Action.This first episode is called Meet Your Coach, and it’s where I share who I am, why this work matters to me, and what you can expect from this space.We’re never done becoming.Awareness + action is where real change begins.🎧 Listen now and begin your becoming.