2 Whits 1 Cup: A Queer Adventures in Odyssey Podcast

OK so in this week’s episode, Armitage Shanks tells Eugene “if you like it then you should have put a ring on it” (this eppy came out before that song) because Eugene hasn’t bought Katrina an engagement ring. So that’s about it. Um. So yeah that’s what we talked about. And I promise we’re funny.

Have you gotten your vaccine for Whit Derangement Syndrome? You might want to make sure you're up to date on your boosters before you listen to this eppy because WOOF. Phil Lollar really let his freak (negative) flag fly with this one, because it's all about how women (Phil would say "girls") are silly and don't really understand things so just trust men (Phil would say "men"). Parsnip gets REALLY mad about it for some reason (don't you think she should smile more?).

Thank you for tuning in to 2 Whits 1 Cup's exclusive coverage of ELECTION NIGHT IN ODYSSEY. It's too early to make a call in the race for mayor between Margaret Faye and Bart Rathbone, but either way, John Avery Whittaker is going to be PISSED about it. But not more pissed than he is about Connie, his daughter in all but biology and legality, hanging out with his ex! In addition to some important discussions about how to tell if your pasta is done, we start to wonder if the Adventures in Odyssey writers are a SMIDGE misogynistic???????

We're taking a quick break from Adventures in Odyssey, but that doesn't mean we're getting away from all those terrible church kid memories! Test your knowledge about biblical references to semen and testes, people God has murdered, and so much more! Why does this sound like it was written by a marketing AI and not with my typical derangement? I don't know! But I'm already so bored of typing this so I'm not going back to edit for tone!

HAPPY NUDE YEAR SKANKS! There's a wedding in this eppy!!!!!! And no one cares. Normally, it's just us with the bad attitudes, but this week, Odyssey's best Christians are joining our poopooing. Also, George Barclay is in town for a "pastor's convention" (yeah ok George, we'll believe you once you're done getting fellated), and boy howdy does he TOTALLY cockblock Jason and Connie. Whit sucks. Tom is a mastermind. CIRCUMCISE YOUR HEARTS. Can I be done now?

IT'S CHRISTMAS, and this year, we're talking about one of the GAYEST and MOST ROMANTIC episodes of Adventures in Odyssey: THE POPSICLE KID. Seriously, if the gang at Focus on the Family were TRYING to write a queer Hallmark story, this would be it. EEK!

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM PERCY AND PARSNIP (WITH POOP!)

What is Katrina gurgling in that one scene and why? Is Jack going to dump Joanne for a homosexual antique store manager? Will Whittaker privilege never end? Lord, there are SOOOOO many questions for us to discuss, and that's why we have a nearly two-hour poddy eppy about FOR WHOM THE WEDDING BELLS TOLL, PART 2.

Odyssey has a new unfettered trollop ... and she has her sights set on one John Avery Whittaker (ever heard of him?). Prepare to get nasty, bitches, because Margaret Faye is bursting onto the scene with expansive cleavage and pliant views on scriptural authority. It's time for FOR WHOM THE WEDDING BELLS TOLL, PART 1, the opening chapter Percy and Parsnip's favorite triumvirate of Adventures in Odyssey episodes (WE KNOW THEY'RE TOXIC AS HECK OK).

Is Jason Whittaker circumcised? That's what we discuss in this episode. And it's relevant, technically, because that was a big decision Whit had to make, and another big decision he has to make is whether to leave Odyssey again! See? Apropos! (Nice one, Percy)

*shhh... use your quiet voices and walking feet because percy, parsnip, and pigeon are meditating, and we don't want to disturb them. this week's episode is about the adventures in odyssey episode solitary refinement, in which eugene goes to a monastery and uses his dreams to force katrina to admit she was wrong. or maybe katrina is a dreamwalker. it's honestly hard to tell from the episode. now, take a deep breath in, and focus all your attention on your pinkie toes...*

Whit is finally returning to Odyssey, but the question on everybody’s mind is: Will he resume his sexual relationship with Tom, or will he go back to his OG lover, Jack? And the second question we’re ALL asking: What kind of PJs does Whit wear? Also, what kind of elderly adaptive bathing equipment exists for senior shower sex? We’ve got the answers to all that and more in this week’s episode of 2 Whits 1 Cup, as we discuss HOME SWEET HOME, Adventures in Odyssey’s surreal homecoming goon session for John Avery Whittaker.

We didn’t go three weeks between episodes, YOU’RE the crazy one. Anyway, James Dobson is dead. So we’re discussing The Right Choice, Part 2, as Katrina goes Tonya Harding on the Nancy Kerrigan of Eugene's heart. As such, we break down (old) Survivor and (current) Bachelor in Paradise. Don’t forget to message @2whits1cup on Instagram if you want to buy Percy’s sweaty tennis socks. This week’s discussion question: How slutty do you think Armitage Shanks' tennis outfit was? Also, for SEO purposes only: Adventures in Odyssey, Focus on the Family, feet.

OH GIRLS DO WE HAVE SOME GOSSIP THIS WEEK! Ok so like Eugene is in Chicago and wants to visit Katrina — except unreliable reports are suggesting she’s moments away from marrying F*&^ING Brandon! So he’s going to go break it up, and MAN OH MAN DOES IT GET JUICY. And like … super toxic. But hey, it’s a romantic relationship in Adventures in Odyssey. That’s what we’re all here for.

This week, Jacob from The Socialist Shelf had too much time on his hands — or perhaps not enough self-respect — and waded through Whit’s bushy tunnel with us for The Search for Whit, Part 3. The plot of this Adventures in Odyssey episode is a remarkable achievement in that it’s banal, offensive, and utterly lacking in coherence — all while teaching children that honest discovery should have no bearing on their acceptance of fairy tales as 100% true. Buy Jacob’s book! https://www.collectiveinkbooks.com/roundfire-books/our-books/they-called-her-rebelListen to The Socialist Shelf!https://www.socialistshelf.com/Watch gay pornography!(Check your history tab for the link, you sinner)

Let's head back to Israel, but don't get your hopes too high, because this is Part 2 of an Adventures in Odyssey three-parter, so you know it'll suck. But HEY. We don't suck unless it's consensually and on genitals, so join us for both a Hoot and a Holler as we (by the fatalistic forces of an established radio program and not our own volition) continue The Search for Whit!

For some reason, the Odyssey folks have decided to bring Whit back from the Middle East, and just like when you're constipated but still really want to bottom, they're going to make us go up there and extract Whit ourselves. BUT DON'T WORRY! Along the way, we stumble upon Paul McCusker thinking he's so smart about the Bible, only to realize he is completely wrong. As always, it's a hootenanny.

There is something stinky about Tasha — but is it because she’s (in our opinion) the sole survivor of a family annihilation, or because she’s not a Christian? Join us as we open a transvestigation into Jason Whittaker’s beloved fianceé and discuss Jack Allen opening his buttcheeks just a LITTLE BIT too wide. And of course, we touch on our favorite topic of all: the perils of making ANY personal decision without the express written approval of Major League Baseball and at least three white cishet Christian men.

WE HAVE NO MORE PRIDE TO GIVE, but plenty of Adventures in Odyssey. This week, we're wrapping up LOVE IS IN THE AIR with Jack Allen's misognyny, Katrina Shanks' taciturnity, Jason Whittaker's anger toward women with jobs, Connie Kendall's victimhood, Eugene Meltsner's emotional honesty, Tasha Forbes' lesbian desires, and, if you listen closely, the sound of Percy's upstairs neighbor fucking. OH! And also all the HILARIOUS goofs and INCISIVE commentary you've come to expect from 2 Whits 1 Cup (hopefully).

OK, it's back to the ole Eugene-Katrina grind, pals. After all, Pride month is almost over. This week, Jack is a gossip queen, and we're SO here for it. SO MUCH DRAMA. Katrina is back in town, as is Jason's personal Carmen San Diego, so Parsnip is queen for a day in Sploosh City. Also, Pigeon has a shocking realization about BRIO Magazine, and Percy's just having a lot of gay sex. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE COME TO EXPECT FROM THIS PODCAST ABOUT ADVENTURES IN ODYSSEY YAY

HEY WE ARE TAKING A BREAK THIS WEEK, OK, WE DESERVE IT AFTER 69 (nice) EPPIES. But here's a fun look back at some highlights from our first 69 (nice) eppies. Listen to it. Or at least download it. And if you haven't given us a rating, WHY?! drown out the 1-star rating we just got plz :(

To be (gay) or not to be (gay)! That is NOT the question, because it is EPISODE SIXTY-NINE (69) EDWIN BLACKGAARD'S PRIDE MONTH EXTRAVAGANZA! This week, Parsnip and Percy introduce Pigeon to Adventures in Odyssey's gayest couple, Edwin and Shakespeare, as we discuss the episode BREAK A LEG. Pour yourself a glass of wine, toss on your favorite ethical queer pornography (muted), and join us for our Pride celebration!

As a Pride month special, we’re doing a two-for-one! This week, we’ll be discussing “A Little Credit, Please” and “The Time Has Come,” two Adventures in Odyssey episodes so annoying and terrible we couldn’t bring ourselves to spend a week on each. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to Eugene’s atheism. So sorry, Satan! We lost one. (insert: sad face emoji) Also, Pigeon and Parsnip disparage a GAY Australian man, while Percy (who isn’t writing this, I swear) is an absolute hero to the entire LGBTQ+ community.

HAPPY PRIDE, TIME TO GET SAD. Yeah babes, you’d better have your monogrammed hankies handy if you’re going to listen to this episode. We discussed Adventures in Odyssey’s THE TURNING POINT, wherein Eugene and Katrina’s relationship reaches … a turning point, as well as the Holy Spirit as a sex partner and washing feet with hair.

This week, we take a break from Adventures in Odyssey to goon out over some of our favorite Christian rock and worship hits from the past. In so doing, we answer some important questions: Is Daughtry REALLY a Christian artist? Did Pigeon pop their weed and sex cherries at a David Crowder Band concert? What Christian girlypop group made Parsnip sob into her mirror? To which famous worship ballad did Percy have gay sex? Also, we discuss how important these alternative Christian bands were for us as scared queer teenagers and how they fit into the genre of camp (not Bible camp, don't worry).

Time to wrap up the case of the unnecessarily kidnapped child for a mind-numbingly inane motive, all to teach a lesson the eppy itself doesn't really support. Sounds like just another day with Adventures in Odyssey. We've got thoughts on this episode, trash in backpacks, King David's trans child, and Kohls cash. If any of that sounds interesting.

Despite the police needing to solve a kidnapping, virtually nothing happens in this episode of Adventures in Odyssey, so we spend a good chunk of our recap gagging over Mr. Holstein — who appears for like 3 minutes. Join us as we discuss things like what makes a room a room … and probably other stuff. Look, if I told you everything now, what would be the point of you listening to the eppy???

Grab your best Prada knapsacks, dolls, because we’re venturing into a minefield of one of Adventures in Odyssey’s notoriously ableist and tone-deaf multiparters this week as we discuss THE PERFECT WITNESS, PART 1. There is SO MUCH to discuss about this episode (which is technically horrifying but is mostly just stiletto-snappingly dull), such as what U.S. president you should pretend to be if you want to survive your kidnapping, the wide-ranging diversity of Campbell County’s dirt, and gay uncles.

Today, we're bringing you a very special and timely Christmas episode that includes a lot of orgasmic moaning from Mary Barclay. Also, Eugene and Katrina crank up the spice, which is cute. And if you didn't get it, it's funny that we're putting out a Christmas episode on Easter...when it doubles as 4/20. THIS IS A FUNNY PODCAST OK

NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER (unless you want to), and that's why we're unpacking this episode of Adventures in Odyssey so we can judge it harshly but with full knowledge. Today, Katrina yells and it's hot, Jack paints himself nude, and Pigeon says the word "beatitooties."

WHIT IS STILL GONE!!!!!! And everyone is so sad!!!!! Well, we're not, but Connie and Scrub are, and we're honoring their journey today as we discuss the Adventures in Odyssey episode "dot dot dot But Not Forgotten." Jack (confirmed weirdo) teaches Tom to masturbate, Harlow Doyle makes his first appearance on the poddy, and we talk about celebrity couples you kinda forgot about (including an AIO connection!). Aaaand we learn a really important lesson about how if you're sad, jesus wants you to decide not to be because you think he's so hot.

DING DONG THE WHIT-CH IS DEAD! That's right, Parsnip and Pigeon kick John Avery Whittaker out of Odyssey as they discuss the Adventures in Odyssey episode"Gone..." Also, there's bath chat, Eisenhower chat, crying chat, Mandy Moore chat, and boob chat.

Lauryn, aka Peach, is back with the girlies (Pigeon and Parsnip, that is; Percy is still dead or whatever) to discuss the second part of THE FIFTH HOUSE ON THE LEFT. You want a longer description? Too bad. Percy is trapped in a burning pile of rubble or whatever, so who else is going to do it?

IT'S HOLLYWOOD, BABY! This week, the gals dump Percy and bring on Lauryn Carlton, aka Peach, from the Worthy of Note podcast to discuss THE FIFTH HOUSE ON THE LEFT, PART 1. The tea is hot today, ladies, because Eugene and Bernard get to talk about bimbos and tramps. Doesn't sound like content appropriate for Adventures in Odyssey? Well, Pauly Pocket McCusker disagrees, so.

Ok you know the drill. We’re going to talk about an Adventures in Odyssey episode. This week, it’s IT HAPPENED AT FOUR CORNERS. Is there a reason you INSIST that I always write something in this podcast description box?!? Would you unsubscribe if I didn’t write something here? Would you still be able to look your loved ones in the eye? Are you blind when you’re born? Can you see in the dark? Dare you look at a king? Would you sit on his throne? Can you say of your bite that it’s worse than your bark? Are you cock of the walk when you’re walking alone?Other discussion topics include:-Because Jellicles are and Jellicles do-Jellicles do and Jellicles would-Jellicles would and Jellicles can-Jellicles can and Jellicles do

Look, mommy. This week’s episode, THIRD DEGREE, is the diversity episode of Adventures in Odyssey, and writer Marshall Younger pulls off a remarkable feat in that he only has white characters in his diversity episode. So I guess technically we spent two hours kinda cyberbullying him about it? But that’s not all. We also give driving advice that you should take at your own peril, and Pigeon accidentally deadnonpoddynames themself.Other discussion topics include:-Patricia Heaton’s religious breasts-Maniacs per capita-Kim Davis-Kelsey Grammer likes butt stuff-The Stone-Campbell Movement-The two types of Trail Mix Guys-Negotiating hotel poops-Lying to men is GOOD-Percy’s hot girl cocktails-Vladimir Nabokov (we’re smart)

CONTENT WARNING FOR ALL THE DADDY ISSUES GIRLIES! We’re having second thoughts about discussing SECOND THOUGHTS, the Adventures in Odyssey episode chronicling the next leg of Eugene and Bernard’s homoerotic road trip (but Bernard might cheat on Eugene?). Hope you bitches love Pig Talk, and I don’t just mean chatting about fathers. Also, you’d better love corn, and not just our jokes. But what the heck! You’re welcome! Join us at the picnic! You can eat your fill of all the food you bring yourself. Ok, now I’m just quoting The Music Man. Oh also, computers represent homosexuality. And remember, ladies: Never fellate with a dry palate!-Parsnip’s Criminal Minds habit-Fisher Price dildos and cock rings-Casually racist historical markers-Skincare-Percy knows Caitlin Clark (kinda)-Covenant Eyes can’t detect Equus-PIGeon loves PIGS-Kate Winslet’s boobs in Titanic, if they comprised a traffic light-Sex with pigs cures depression-That time Jesus f*cked his mom to conceive himself-The Book of Mormon (musical, not book)

Fasten your seatbelts, ladies and gentlebirds, because today we’re starting an adventure OUT OF Odyssey as we discuss the Adventures in Odyssey episode FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE, the first leg (juxtaposed with first hand this is very funny ok) of Eugene and Bernard’s epic and deeply homoerotic cross-country road trip. This one’s for all the brave girlies who regularly take a long, hard, fully nude look in the mirror and ask themselves if they’re man enough to jack it with their cousin.Discussion topics include:-Hyphenation-Cousin stuff?-Knapsacks/nap sacks-Smooching at the 9/11 memorial (the most romantic place on Earth)-How George Washington killed the nappy-wappy-Adding a tip to your tithe-Pigeon’s unpatriotic transportation takes-Should poor people be allowed in public?-Amelia Bedelia

It’s our one-year anniversary, and AJ Ditty from The Worst of All Possible Worlds podcast stops by to talk about how Phil Lollar has progressively smaller and gayer versions of himself hidden under progressively smaller and gayer hats on top of his head. Oh, and also the Adventures in Odyssey episode GREATER LOVE. Together, we answer the most important question of our time: can you be friends with an orphan?!Check out The Worst of All Possible Worlds: The Worst of All Possible WorldsAlso, here's AJ's Adventures in Odyssey fan fiction audio drama: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjbGYYsDLFy1LTO3uM_BM-55cgFNyh2Hn&si=uqz7_zQ-wdISmd9F

There is so much to gossip about this week! Eugene and Katrina’s situationship takes a TURN, and we NEED to gab with our girlies about it. So join us for IT ENDED WITH A HANDSHAKE, this week’s Adventures in Odyssey episode. Sorry about Percy’s audio. We’re a year into it, and we still suck at this.

All right, witches. Get out your rabbit's feet and horoscopes and tarot cards and weird rocks to protect yourself from the self-congratulatory Christian evangelism porn that is the Adventures in Odyssey IT BEGAN WITH A RABBIT'S FOOT. Eugene and Katrina's relationship is heating up, but Katrina's relationship with Jesus is just beginning, and Eugene is pissed about it. So are we, tbh. But hey, weirdly, this eppy passes the Bechdel test. Discussion topics include: -Rabbit’s foot fetishes -Identical twins with different fathers -The KKK -Bad Girls of the Bible -The Lifehouse skit

'Ello, guvnah! We're back for anuvvah jaunt down to Odyssey, innit? And wot's this, then? A cheeky little dive into the luvvy-dovey shenanigans of Eugene an' Katrina, eh? Cor blimey, as if I wouldn't 'ave guessed, this 'ere episode, NATURALLY I ASSUMED, demands us to whip out our (spot-on, 100% bang-on proper) British accents, don' it now? 'Ave a butcher's at that! Other bits wot we’ll be bangin’ on about include... -Gay sex fluids -Taking people at their word: yea or nay? -Unfunny day-to-day calendars -Jane Austen’s contrived vagueness -Know-it-all girlies -Gift-giving early in a relationship -Grieving TikTok -Reading long books to make someone fall in love with you -Birthing hips -Parsnip loves abortions -The Commonwealth of Nations -Percy’s Charm School

LOVE AND LUST ARE IN THE AIR! That’s right, we’re starting the Eugene and Katrina story arc today, and it’s more erotic than you remember. Or at least our interpretation of it is. Join us for Adventures in Odyssey’s “Truth, Trivia, and ‘Trina!” Discussion topics include: -Orca audiobook high walk -What we considered strong language in our evangelical childhood homes -Where do we rank library girls? -Are all library boys gay? -The war on men -Johnny Appleseed -Virginity Rocks t-shirts -Bart Rathbone’s super PAC -Eye color -The German Revolutions of 1848 -The Mexican-American War -Albums we stole from church

We'd like to dedicate this episode to the gooner bros, because this week we're talking about Adventures in Odyssey's THE TWILIFE ZONE. Our good buddy Phil Lollar wanted this episode to be about drugs, but he made it completely about goonin' with your best pals, and WE ARE HERE FOR IT. Not only are we going to talk about this absurd eppy about choking the chicken, but Parsnip and Pigeon are going to talk shit on a girl they went to Christian school with while Percy makes a lot of penis jokes. Like, a lot of penis jokes. Other discussion topics include: -2W1C genital update -Pigeon goes AMAB, scares everyone -Parsnip favorite fun fact about Percy's feet -2025: The Year of Hatred -Percy's Bible vocab word of the day! -The Rumor Weed (not that weed) -Every young woman’s battle (according to Parsnip) -Barefoot shoes and the kinky boys who love them -Demanding toys -Exvangelical eastern religion flirtations

Get out your longjohns and warm socks, because we’re going skiing whether you like it or not. We’re going on a ski vacation with the Barclay family, AND LOOK OUT BECAUSE THEY’RE GOING TO COME ACROSS SOME HOTTIES ON THE SLOPES. Also, the level to which each of us enjoyed this episode seems to relate directly to our relationships with our families, so that’s fun. Try it on yourself! Discussion topics include: -Extreme Days (2002) -Orcas vs. great white sharks -Commercial jingles -Punctuation -Other stuff I didn’t note

As a special Christmas treat or perhaps an additional chore, here's a bunch of our deleted scenes over the past few months. You know, stuff that was just TOO GOOD (obviously) to go in the regular poddy.

Merry Christmas, bitches! Join us for the official 2 Whits 1 Cup drinking game as we talk about an Adventures in Odyssey episode we all loved: A CHRISTMAS CONUNDRUM! Our girl Kathy Buchanan was FEELING. HER. SELF. as she wrote this one, and we love her for it. Oh, and if you decide to play the drinking game … look out.Discussion topics include:-Baby’s first Harlow Doyle, Private-I reference-Erewhon-A plane crash-A bonus plane crash-What do men do?-Let Whit die!-Aladdin’s Castle-Tom’s big-dicked dog-#NoAnalDecember-Infinity scarves

This episode is brought to you by Covenant Eyes and XHamster, and it’s time for us to take a break after we fought so valiantly in the war on Christmas last week. That’s why we’re talking about PEACE ON EARTH, the story of John Avery Whittaker avoiding self-improvement by forcing himself on people he doesn’t think celebrate Christmas according to his standard. Discussion topics include: -Christian school humility -9/11 -It’s a Wonderful Life -Gay Christmas song parodies -Whit’s coke habit -What about Tommy time? -Bear Jesus -Hand sanitizer -A Christmas madlib -Christmas with the Kranks

Be sure to silence the jingle bells on your weaponry, ladies, because we’re MARSHALing (pun) our forces to fight the war on Christmas today! Adventures in Odyssey unleashed the first strike in this unending struggle with the 1992 episode, THE LIVING NATIVITY. Our discussion of it has everything you’re looking for in a holiday special: readings Supreme Court rulings, angry yelling, rude humor, sexual references, and a play-on-words with the word “erection.”Discussion topics include:-Christmas nut sacks-Constitutional law-What the hell is in ex-Chelsea’s deo?-Family, freedom, and fartin’-No more publicly displaying your wood at Christmas-Celebrating the holidays with something new up your butt-Gay Zoroastrian wizards-Whit the bounty hunter-Onomatopoeias in other languages-Don’t call it pop-Ice cream’s eternal war against electronics?-See You At the Pole-Odyssey’s governmental structure-Shopping as a form of gloating

Lace up those boots, it's time for war! Oh, and Christmas. Parsnip proudly --- and Percy and Pigeon reticently --- present SNOW DAY. In this episode, Pigeon gives us a rousing speech, Parsnip teaches us about root vegetables, and Percy tells a recent sex story that violently triggers Parsnip's asthma. There really is no time quite like Christmas! Discussion topics include: -Thanksgiving recap -Pugs and orcas -K-Love -Snow trumpet -The differences between rutabagas and parsnips -Further confirmation of Alex Jefferson’s homosexuality -Montana State University football -Hawk Nelson Christmas is back in play  -Water buffaloes -Odyssey’s underground tunnels -John Fornoff’s secrets -Who cares for Cal Jordan? Resources mentioned: -“Where Are You Christmas?” (pop punk version) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do6CAIeNl_c