Helping.Mom

Take-Away: We SUBMIT and SING to SEEING God.    Please read Ephesians 5:19-21:  19 Speak to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 20 Give thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; 21 Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God. I like to say, Speak, See (God), and Serve.  Share your thoughts, call/text me 2143049822 

“It’s one thing for a man to live in his mother’s house; it’s another for his mother to live in his house.”  —Terry  There is much to hate about caregiving, maybe 93% of it?!? (jus kidn) 4 include: Emotionalism; Impact; Frustration, and: Feminization Share your thoughts, call or text Amy-Vet/caregiver Terry at 214 304 9822 

There are 3 phases, or stages, that care RECEIVERS go through: I dont need you--I got this I dont want you--you dont do anything right I demand you-why arent you?  (maybe a 4th: I cant have you)  

The greatest threat to caregivers is isolation Caregiving isolates us-- physically from family, friends & positive social relationships emotionally from care receiver spiritually from God--Is THIS all there is? WHAT is the point?  The 3 primary causes of isolation: Principles, ethics, morals, standards, expectations, spirituality Pain Plan-lessness leading to Panic Cures for Caregiving Isolation: humbly ask for help (contrast Proverbs 19:20 vs 27). Which are you?  build team around care receiver schedule breaks, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly identify with fellow caregivers eat well MOVE! (follow Howard Luks on X/Twitter) Share your ideas, prayer requests, feeback to Terry at [email protected] or call my cell 214 304 9822 

The path to isolation is marked by 3 steps: 1) pain begins journey—usually words as talebearer that go deep. Isolation seems safe. 2). you take counsel of self (echo chamber), where your perspective + ideas seem best because unchecked. 3) if/when you do emerge conflict ensues—hence wars (see James) with others, or further retreat. The isolation pattern is born, like every rap star spitting out lyrics against “they”… if everyone is singing about “they,” then WHO is THEY?? You do same, they dont understand me, they wont help me, they dont care.  Consider all in our society that separates us. Perfectionism, being task oriented, addiction, criminal behavior, anger, pride, sports, desire to be the best, materialism, shyness, gossip, selfishness, demanding our way, laziness, ignorance, gluttony, tribalism, and clannishness, prejudice, Being a high achiever, self isolation, fear. Add now to this the pain & problems of caregiving itself.  In his book, the Great Divorce, CS Lewis describes hell as a Gray Town place where each person thinks she is happier the more they isolate themselves from one another. Each retreats by free will into that which hurts, then kills her.   Imagine hell as a place where you get everything you want, and more, forever, by yourself. Caregivers ironically do much of the same. See Proverbs 18:1--we pursue our ideas, or even the ideal, and so take fatal step after fatal step from all others who can inform and help us on this journey.   You’ve heard the expression, “pride comes before a fall.” The Bible doesn’t actually say this, but close to this is proverbs 18:12. In fact, all of Proverbs 18 is a warning against the evils of self-absorbed isolation.  And, much of caregiving is self-absorbed (woe is me) pity, mixed with isolation (especial emotional separation). We lose touch with care receiver, family members, friends, our habits of life, and even ourself. In process we become lazy, speak foolishness, are full of pride, and in time lose heart. A strong spirit can sustain a broken body, but nothing can sustain a broken spirit (called implosion).  Isolation is born out of arrogance, coupled with fear. Isolation breeds ignorance. We never grow wise in isolation. The three great teachers of wisdom are nature, the Bible, and interaction with others. Isolation robs us all three.  The prodigal son was alone. He was alone in his mind when he rebelled against his father, he was alone with the pigs. And every step he took toward the hogs he was alone. He was somewhat alone around everyone else except for his father When he returned. Then others slowly returned to him. I doubt he was ever alone afterward.  Eve sinned when she was alone from her husband, Cain when alone from parents.  The strength of David, even as his restoration following horrible sins with Bathsheba and killing her husband, was that he never traveled alone. David was always in midst of his soldiers & preachers.  The strongest biblical metaphors are the body, a building like the temple, a family, and an army. There are no Lone Rangerd in the faith. And no effective caregivers can in the end go it alone. Remember, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto. he was never alone. In his great book Pilgrims Progress, John Bunyan show us Christian is never alone. First he walks with faithful, then with hopeful. Then the promised land post-River.  Let us as caregivers work in faith and hope, walking with faithful, hopeful others. Let us examine what inside us today isolates us. Then count the cost of that continued isolation.  Is it worth it?  

The Caregiver’s Christmas Song Each year at Christmas time a different hymn has special meaning to me. It’s lyrics, it’s melody, it's new singer or composition. This year is O Holy Night, for this is a caregiver’s hymn. I have streamed 75+ different singers & groups perform it this past week. It acurately captures 3 tenets of caregiving. But do you know it’s fascinating history? Have you read the actual poem that gave rise to this much-revised staple on our radios this time of year? Have you ever read it’s deep practical meanings?  Three points from this hymn have special meaning for caregivers: 1) The heart of caregiving is the soul. The human soul feels it’s worth in Christ. Jesus says we possess nothing of value compared to our soul given to us at birth. And that if we should gain this entire world during our lifetime, we will still die bankrupts in hell if we do not have our soul’s worth found in Him.  2) Your care receiver languishes in anguish. pines in pain, without you. Enslaved like a hidden brother/sister, we serve them through His law as love, and His gospel as peace. This is what we DO as caregivers--we bring love and peace. Without you, your care receiver would be dead, or at best, pining beneath the suffering of body & mind in this falling world.  3) We serve the CHRIST inside our care receiver. This is the trick. He demonstrated for us, and now teaches us, to love one another. Let all oppression cease in his name. Let all within us praise his holy name, as our knees bow to HIS worth--through our care receiver. We serve the Ideal inside, if not the real outside.   Please share your thoughts to [email protected]  

The Pretty Feet of Caregivers -- What the strangest verse in Bible about feet has to do with caregivers, today on helping.mom  WHAT kind of feet do you have? Egyptian, Greek, Roman, Peasant, or Asian? Look at pic on google, then compare.  NOW, are your feet beautiful as caregiver?  Text: the strangest verse in Bible speaks of pretty feet…  In NT we are told this about caregiver feet:  Hebrews 12:13-15  And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Peace and Holiness, calm & truth, should mark our work, our path, as caregivers. Holiness with God, Righteousness with Man. We do this through following straight paths. Straight means simple, honest, basic, transparent, real, direct, candid. No subtle craftiness, deception, strangenesses, gambits, bets, short cuts.  Blessed are Caregiver Feet which are simple and able to be understood. Pursuing Peace as Caregiver.  The strangest verse in Bible, about feet, is in OT.  Isaiah 52:7 very strange verse in Bible: how beautiful the feet on mountains… of those who do 4 things. I was raised thinking feet are ugly, to be hid in closed-toe shoes. And that loose women bare their ankles to men. Yet arguably one of most sexy things in life is inside ankle area of bare feet. With regard to young daughters, one of the most pure, honest, coolest images is watching your little girl with pants rolled up, stepping into cool water, or walking on beach. The innocence of little kids' feet. Wow! Being a child is being bare feet!!! If you have one hour today, look at how feet have been described in ancient and medieval times, from Japan to Europe. It was King Henry II who gave us standard 12-inch "foot" as unit of measurement. Here in Isaiah: beautiful is the life/feet/lifestyle/work of the person who pursues 4 things—good news, peace, positive outlook, message of salvation. What Jelly Roll calls “a path toward redemption”  Straight is simple. Simple is straight.  Walking presupposes seeing, then thinking, planning, executing. Feet follow gaze.  As caregivers, let us have beautiful feet by pursuing peace, keeping our mouth shut if our heart is full of pain, and making peace wherever possible to care for our moms. Peace with men (righteousness) is related to holiness with God. Our faith is what we objectively do, not subjectively believe. Go & show Jesus tells his miracle recipients.  You will not see God. Or enjoy Him here. Without righteousness & holiness. The vertical plane of H must match the righteous plane of R. And you must do this over time, through life.  Faith does not take us out of this world, faith deeply ground in the reality of this world. Faith is not like Calgon—"take me away!" Pure religion is to care for helpless in this world, right now, where & how they need help (Ja 1:27).  If you’re talking but not walking you’re alone.  Let us have beautiful feet today as caregivers--be they Roman, Egyptian, Greek or whatever 

Catholic dead-saint Anthony: Satan uses 3 things to trap us: regret for past; ingratitude for present, fear of future. I believe all three of these are at heart of bitterness, and describe perfectly modern American culture. What to do when your mother gives you the middle finger. Bitterness in Caregiving.   Malice is at the core of bitterness and 4 other destructive (Eph 4:32) behaviors.  Bitterness is a root, and route. The root of bitterness is anger, its route is bitterness, gossip, slander, clamour, lying, etc.    Cain was bitter before he became a murderer.  Adam was bitter at Eve. Eve at Adam. Both against the snake. God against all 3.  Saul was bitter at the success of David. David at Absalom.  Moses was bitter at God. Pharaoh was bitter at Moses. Moses was bitter at God in denying him the ability go to the promised land, God was bitter at Moses because of all that He entrusted to Moses  Bitterness comes from the German word bite. Bite me/Bite my head off. Same.  What is to good side of spectrum?  Disappointment is good side of bitterness is sarcasm bitterness on steroids?  Aren’t all funny comedians just bitter? Is bitterness the cause or the means? I think means toward end--to kill.   In other words is there something called bitterness or is it really just anger manifested in a particular way?  Is bitterness spectrum in other words to the left is something good but you cross the line and becomes bitterness. For example, critical skills, self reflection, honesty, accuracy, and “being honest.“ Do these things lead to bitterness? Two F’s to cure bitterness. Forget & Future.. You must forgive and forget. You must become Teflon. You cannot let it stick. You cannot let their biting affect your definition of yourself. You must be content, knowing that God knows you. This works both ways. Second you must focus on the future. You must shift your thought to a future small goal. If your mother gives you the middle finger at eight in the morning, focus on how she will be at 11 AM when you treat her to lunch. Joseph was bitter at his brothers while he lay in prison and suffered temptations under Potifer's loose wife. Yet he forgot, and he helped them in future.  We expect perfection in others. We never expect it in ourselves. We exact justice on others, and appeal to grace for ourselves.  Contact me at [email protected]  

On this the worst Thanksgiving Day of my life, still, we give thanks as caregivers.  1) Thankfulness is not an emotion. It is based on value and promise. You are valuable because God made you, because Christ died for your sins, because the Holy Spirit inhabit you, and because God will receive you. Your value is connected to his promise. 2) Thankful does not mean I am happy because of all the things I own in life. It means because though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you are with me. I am yours, and this is your valley. And there is an into it, and in the meantime, you’re with me. 3) Thankfulness is not a celebration of how great life is going, but the fact of the depth of God‘s provision of love toward you and that perfect love, cash out fear. God loves you fully, Christ died for you Foley, the Holy Spirit controls you Foley. Heaven is where you are ultimately and forever full. 4) We practice thankfulness, we do not feel it. Complaining is an expression of our lack of trust and God’s commitment to us for our ultimate good.  5) Thankfulness purifies  Psalm 27:1 leads to psalms 27:4  Jadah is connected to Hosanna — each is prayer    Hymn still true= Give thanks with a grateful heart Give thanks to the Holy One Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ His Son —Don Moen 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) There are 2 layers of caregiving, one masculine the other feminine. And we need both. Which are you?  The Book of Jude First, the book or letter of Jude. If you are tired of fake formal religion, what some call Christianity in Golden Slippers, read this incredible small book, by Jesus’ half-brother (brother of James). In this letter Jude challenges real from fake faith, and tells believers to discern truth, persist in right, and accept the limitations of the weak--while serving. He tells us to practice what we preach, to focus on fruit not leaves.  Example: Jude 20-21: Build up your faith; pray; keep yourselves in love of God; practice the mercy of Christ--and of some have compassion making a difference, and others (23) save with fear, pulling the out of fire--hating the garments spotted by the flesh. The first layer of caregiving is masculine, and speaks of duty chore responsibility obligation. Sacrifice. Service. Suffering. And silence. The other is feminine: loving. Giving kind generous. Healthy. Caring. Nurture.  The masculine focus on task is found in second part of what Jude says above--to pull them out of fire, even hating what they smell like. Some people ain’t no damn good. You care for them because of who you are, not them. My sister care for a man called our dad, who hated us. He abandoned me. Even as she cared for him in his deranged old age he was awful to her and her family. He even gave her secret bank information to her ex husband so he could steal all her money. Even as she mopped up his urine off the floor of her living room because he was too lazy to walk to the bathroom.  My sister Cassie is a better Christian than me.  Caregiving is sometimes like being a prison guard. You provide the tools and structure so that if they want to help themselves they can. God blesses people through the obedience of his believing servants. 98% of caregiving is not seen; it is behind the walls.  But our highest aim is the spiritual best of our care receiver This means we pray for them. We wish their ultimate best and we see our best work as caregiver is spiritual work. Their sanity, peace, dignity, respect, fulness of humanity, spirit, mind and soul. These are the things which live forever. These are what make us human.  Caregiving is opportunity and duty. Possibility + Chore. The salient characteristic of Christianity is forgiveness, we should look continually into the mercy of Jesus. The same for our caregiving.  My chains fell off, says one old hymn, my heart was free. I rose henceforth and followed thee. We are like father in Luke 15 who amidst the many numerous tasks of caregiving still keeps one eye out for returning son--and relationship again, above all else. This focus on person is feminine.  Caregiving is tasks-within-relationship, fully masculine and fully feminine. Which do you need to work on? 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Who to hire to help you?  The difference between men and women is seen clearly when asking this question: what is the most important thing when hiring a helper for your mother?  The woman will say things like “she must be kind and generous and gracious and patient and loving and sweet and so forth." The man will respond "nonsense.  Here is what she really must be: " Someone who can take an ass chewing, be criticized, micromanaged, told what to do, how to do it.  Someone who can endure long boring stories with no purposes or points or meanings.  Someone who forgets, with absolute confidentiality. There is a reason why the king would kill everyone of the servants after 12 months of service. Someone who can shift sights quickly & often.  Someone who does their duty. This is work. Do your job. You need them to do their duty. I don’t care if they love it, have a kind heart, or are generous, sweet and kind. These are nice, but not necessary.  You need him to do their job, quietly, against all sorts of negativity, and keep their mouth shut. Confidentiality is Key.   Someone who keeps head in chaos. Dependability, the ability to keep clear head clear in times of panic. For example, if your mom falls down at the shopping mall, what is next. If the oxygen machine breaks, How to change tanks of oxygen when your mother is semi comatose.  Someone who is CPR, willing to use it.  In Terms of pay—pay him/her so much they never leave and instead volunteer to help your mom in more ways than you can pay them to do.  Would I ever hire a male? Certainly.   But I will not hire a Liberal.  Share your thoughts to [email protected]

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Today we look at book by Messie Condo "Nobody Wants your [Stuff]". Please also listen to my own podcasts 32 and 33, for more info. Please also share your experiences, at [email protected]

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) 29 countries, 234 new cities now listening to helping.mom, including new friends below!    Mount Laurel, NJ Oakland, CA Helsinki, Finland  Kanasin, Yucatán  Rensselaer, IN (home of "Brian's Song"  movie, and Speaker of US House of Reps Charlie Halleck) West Lafayette, IN  My 6 goals of being caregiver for my mom:   Integrity--subjective, objective, character/competence/reliability  Context--part of whole, all of fabric, all must win for each to win  Balance--i wasnt born for this, but i am equipped for this. This tho real is not ultimate.   Courage--to learn, fail, say "i am sorry, serve without note, be honest in all directions, say "no," agree to "yes," seek best of all, tell truth, make hardest decisions possible in life  Perspective--kalidoscopic (HOW do you spell this word???) with view like fly  eyes.   Communications--intra, supra, external, to find one who will listen. 85% talk, they dont listen. Who am I a 15% to? 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Matthew 10:24-5  The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord. It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord. So what does this mean? Who is He? What about Him are we to be like?  We cant be: Son of God, Saviour of World, Ruler of Heaven & Earth, Messiah, King, Judge, Creator....So how CAN we be "as him?"   We are to be caregivers  If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household? He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. But He also warns in 37-38: He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. Caregiving is Christianity. Turning other cheek. Loving enemies. Praying for those who have missed you. Giving 2nd coat/level of effort. Rejoice with those who rejoice Caregiving is a reflection of the gospel. - life - hope  - truth - value The world (culture) cares nothing of these things. The gospel provides you were created in the image of God, though in great need that you cannot meet, but must be met by sacrificial love from outside.  Your value is established in your life, but the truth is that you need help from outside to live as you were intended to live. You are body and you are spirit. Your body fails, your spirit will live forever. The ultimate goal of caregiving is the spiritual well-being of your care receiver. Second is the overall quality of life that we can provide within the context of other challenges and resource limitations. This is a shadow or taste of something greater.  Knowing someone cares (however imperfectly) takes the care receiver beyond despair. Our care and demonstrated love serves as an anchor of their soul of their own value.  That life is worth living, and it is greater than what I am going through at present. Caregiving:  love God, love others greater than yourself If you have done it unto least of these, youve done it unto me Well done, good and faithful servant J127 vs J215--doing vs talking only, real faith vs non The first will be last, the greatest the servant of all He took a cup and washed their feet His sandals I am not worthy to unlatch

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) The hardest thing to do in life is to remember God. He is gone like the morning dew in the desert of Yuma. He vanishes on way up, on way down, and in busy-ness in between. When is the last time you thought about God, for, say, more than 15-seconds straight?  What is is about caregiving that causes us to forget Him even more? Well, everything about caregiving causes us to forget Him.  A cure is Psalm 48. In it we are told we can study Him, see Him, hear Him, and experience Him--that we might then share Him with the generation that follows behind. This, I think, is key to remembering God in our daily caregiving. Experience Him, then Share Him--THEN you will remember Him. You dont learn, then do--you do, then learn. Try it!      

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Rejoice that God has given you this hard work, and He has qualified you for it.  Rejoice that His works are eternal, and your work is absorbed within His own.  Rejoice that crowns await you, fashioned by His hands to fit your head perfectly.  Rejoice your care receiver is alive, and you are here, responsible--serving.  Rejoice your kids see your example, and no one around you can argue against your silent testimony. Instead, they honor and are provoked by you to do their own good works.  Rejoice that our verbs go with us into heaven, like when we give, love, serve, care, help, assist, teach, guide, protect, schedule, cook, clean, plan, do, etc.  Please share your own joys with me at [email protected] 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Questions every caregiver asks vs ONE we should ask  How long is it going to last?  What is the impact of this upon me—my ____?  What changes do I need to make to ___?  Do we have enough money?  Can I do this? What if my CR ___falls, gets sick, vomits, loses mind, gets worse, becomes violent? Am I going to have to change her diapers? (Or other awful fear)  HOW awful (not is) is this going to be?  Will anyone help me?   Will we have to put into nursing home?  How do govt programs & insurance work?  Where do I go for help?  Who do I ask? Should I tell my friends? Kids?  Will my mom suffer dementia?  Why me?  Why is this so difficult? Can any good come out of this? What if i die first?  Can I do this? SEV  times  The BEST question we can ask instead: What should I do today, right now, to maximize the quality of life for my CR--within the context of all other factors?  Please share your ideas to [email protected]

My take as Army Vet/caregiver: Charlie Kirk was a Cultural Caregiver to our nation, strengthening minds & hearts through speech, reason, & debate. He is why we have the 1st Amendment in our Constitution. He was murdered for his faith in Jesus Christ, and for taking the “leaven” of faith serious in his life & work. Let us as caregivers to our own loved ones serve them today in peace and hope and love—in light of the timelessness of eternity. 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Matthew 8: 5-10 Elements of US Army (indeed, of all US Military) is same as our Caregiving: MISSION  RECON SITREP RISK  PLAN OPORD COMMS Hooah!  Send ideas to [email protected]

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Make sure you Listen to end on this podcast.  4 Mental Images of Sameness dominate our thinking: Groundhog Day Movie, Prison Cells, Chinese Water Torture, and Mouse Wheels. But let us examine these more closely.  Is it sameness we dislike so much, or something deeper?  Whatever it is, really, how can we combat it?  Please listen and share your thoughts today, at [email protected] 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) It’s interesting that Jesus tells us to pray. To work, yes. But to pray, why? He equates working and praying as synonymous, with no distinction to be drawn between them.  Like 2 wings on same plane. Yet we tend to gravitate toward one extreme or other.

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) This week I received a great compliment from a current customer, who said to me he hopes I keep doing what I am doing for others, so that when his kids get older I can help them too. This is nice to hear.  Tabitha was a caregiver through her acts of “good works” and Almsgiving. She was also a widow. What work(s) will survive your passing? What will you leave behind that others will be able to handle, and point to, as something unique that YOU contributed to this world? There is still time, if you havent thought this trough. Tabitha left behind works personal and real, which helped others and provided for herself, things others could put in their hand as proof of the meaning of her life. When I was in Army Basic Training a drill sergeant asked a private next to me, actually he yelled it at full-lung, "Private, HOW DO YOU JUSTIFY YOUR EXISTENCE?!?!?" Friends, how do you justify your's? What works will you be crowned for in glory?  Tabitha was rich in good works combining her head, heart and hands. 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Today I share such helpful advice from caregivers given to another caregiver who's son just passed from Sepsis, a horrible medical condition.  Share your own stories with me at [email protected] Please pray for this dear, grieving mother.  

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) 7 Things you can do GREAT as caregiver that require NO talent,skill or experience.  1. Being present, I’m Here (posters of GIs on walls at Dachau)   2. Making Effort, doing something to help. The way people can do it for years is because it is so gradual. Same as serving a prison sentence. Or getting through school.  3. Having Positive Attitude, thinking on bright side. Focu on what I can do, not should have done. Not my failures but fact you are today. I get stuff from store. I emptied a closet. Paid all bills.  4. Learning from Mistakes, then not repeating. There IS a dumb question in life—in fact 3 of them: one you don’t res to ask because you can figure it out; the one you’ve asked already; asking your boss to repeat himself because you’re not listening.   5. Figuring things out, thinking way through  6. Anticipating next need, with preparation. Alabama: the next right thing.  7. Tough skin. Resolve. Stamina. Hatred of losing. Desire to win. Not be beaten. Faith. Hope. At some point they’re all the same. Having Strong Work Ethic, make it through day Please send your ideas to [email protected] 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Do you have Feeding lips or Bleeding lips? Heart-Tongue Corridor of the Caregiver Proverbs 10:21: "The lips of the righteous feed many." I am a hypocrite! I promise you--I violate every thing I am going to share with you today. But I am reminded, that tho we stumble, we do not fall. Today several Verses on the Heart-Tongue relationship of Caregiver, with very little explanation. To quote Aerosmith, I am going to “Let the music do the talking,” or, here, the Bible. Of all people in world, the caregiver has the most right to be cynical, snappy, crabby and angry. Churlish Caregivers you could call us all for all of us have complained, griped, hated it, kicked against it like Paul did pricks. We are all grumbly bears. Reasons are many: On avg we donate for free 26 hrs/week; we pay out of pocket $8K/yr. 25% of us also take care of our own kids at same time. We feel bad ourselves. We did not plan for this, or prepare for it. We are not ready, qualified or motivated. No one is helping us. This decision may have cost us our family, our career, our happiness and our peace of mind. We are at our worse, taking care of someone at their worse who does not appreciate us or want us. No one in our society places much value on families to care for elders. Our kids never see us, or, like 10% of all teens in our country, they caregive with us. I read story this week of family who planned funeral of their old mother, and noticed few came to her wake or funeral. Then as soon as the graveside service was over, they drove to their mother’s house to find it completely ransacked by siblings and family members who had not gone to her funeral. Quate: “While all will fight for grandma’s money, no one will fight to take care of her.”  It all seems negative and only getting worse. But the Bible can help. Remember the purpose of the word is to correct and instruct in right uses. Out of heart mouth speaks (Jer 17:9), AND brain thinks! The heart has 40,000 neurons and sends more messages to brain than brain sends to heart. From heart comes emotion, awareness, response, maybe even reason. Bible declares the heart is  spiritually deceitfully wicked, and past finding out (Jer 17:9). Out of it flows 7 evils, says Jesus (Mt 15:19). And, “out of it the mouth speaks” (Matt 12:34). James says the tongue is a rudder which tho small controls the huge ship of our whole life and destiny (James 3:4). You’ve never gotten in trouble by things you didn’t say!!! It is set on fire from hell (James 3:6). We praise God and curse man with it (James 3:9). What is down in the well, comes up in the bucket. Particularly when no one is looking, and when money or stress of falling is at hand. To make matters totally worse, we will give an account for every idle word that proceeds out of our heart-mouth (Mt 12:36). If we will be judged by every silly word we have said, or words unnecessary, imagine what we face for everything hateful we absolutely meant to say!   Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8), and; a soft answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). I proved this verse this past SAT when I took mom out to eat breakfast. Her first word, in parking lot, before getting out of vehicle, “And, he brings me HERE.” Paul says, as much as lies within you, live in peace with all men (Romans 12:18). He continues (Eph 4:29), let that which comes from your mouth be good, edifying, and minister grace to the hearer. BLUF: 1) The quickest way to restore relationship, and redeem your reputation, is “I’m sorry.” 2) The lips of the righteous feed (Pro 10:21). 3) The words of the righteous build the other person by speaking grace into their lives (Eph 4:29). We speak life, says TobyMac. 4) “Speak the truth in love”

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) 5 “Highs” of caregiving:  High agency.  High confidence.  High learning..  High heart.  High hope. 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Building the Mindset of a Caregiver (Jude 20-21) Begin with stories of Dave, Ron & Frank Building mindset of caregiver requires 4 things: building, praying, keeping & looking, i.e., Effort, Prayer, Resolve, Anticipation Jude:Half-brother of Jesus  Not disciple during lifetime of Jesus  Like brother James, not entrusted with mother’s care at cross  Like James, now believer, extremely practical on what is-is not saving faith Jude 20-21 (KJV): ”But ye, beloved, BUILDING up yourselves on your most holy faith,  PRAYING in the Holy Ghost,  KEEP yourselves in the love of God,  LOOKING for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life”  Building--effort Work out your salvation with fear and trembling For this is the will of Christ concerning you Be holy, as I am holy As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of word that you may grow thereby Strive for the masteries Go into world and make disciples Study to show thyself approved--a workman who needs not be ashamed Steward over all, Owner of nothing Let your light so shine Pick up cross, daily, Follow me Run, and not grow weary Run race, Fight fight, Endure hardship as soldier Quit ye like men Praying--prayer Jesus describes Him as the Comforter, who will guide us in peace & truth Pray without ceasing State of continual awareness “He walks with me and talks with me along life’s narrow way,”  “Yah”--inhale, “Way”--exhale, Like breathing  Lord’s Prayer is sandwich--Father, in heaven, Hallowed / Thine be glory, power, forever Keep--resolve  All parts of Christianity are our’s as part of relationship Fatherhood of God #1 trait to me  Psalm 1:1-3 (KJV): “Blessed is man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in his law does he mediate day and night. He will be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in season. His leave will not wither, and whatever he does will prosper.” We dont keep ourself in God’s love, We keep ourselves inside his protective, enjoyable care Luke 15 younger son rebels--leaving father’s protection, provision, teachings, guidance, enjoyment “Ungodly,” worst sin in Bible--to live as he He doesnt We keep through love (by this shall all know you are my disciples--by your love for another) Jude / James--we cannot separate Doxos from Praxis  Look--anticipation He who has eyes, let him see.  Our eyes by far the most important of 5 senses If eye cause you to sin, pluck it out.  What you look at, you pursue  Let us then consider here the object  The salient characteristic of Christianity is not power, truth, glory, dominion--it is mercy.  Mercy vs Grace (not giving us what do deserve, vs giving us what we dont deserve). Flawed question: why do bad things happen to good people…. My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose henceforth to follow Thee Great is Thy Faithfulness--morning by morning His mercies are new Look unto Jesus--author and finisher of our faith (like writer of book, to director of final movie) We wa

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) What to do when mom dies.  10-point outline.  Each bullet point is a podcast.  1 Communicate out. Task helper  2 Plan short term where bury, type casket, funeral home, speaker, meal, flowers, media outlet / social media  3 Secure pets, mail, trash, fridge, utilities  4 Get death certificate x 25 cert copies. Digitize it. Email/save to yourself.  5 Get cash soon. Long process.  6 Find Will, Open Estate. Collect debts & identify assets.  7 Cancel monthly charges drains on bank accounts & credit cards  8 Box up/throw out/distribute assets 9 Convert—mail, bills, bank accounts, IRAs  10 6-months from now — Grieve. Move, date, what next God’s Will? Send input, ideas, prayer requests to [email protected]  

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Abraham, Adam, Jesus & You as caregiver Abraham as caregiver. Romans 4:21. Persuaded, he performed. He stepped—& bred!  Jesus: Go & make disciples.  Adam: Go and tend garden. Go and name animals.  Moses: Go and tell Pharaoh.  David: Go and take food to your brothers. Persuaded by the promise (god with him), he performed. 3 Ps: persuaded, promise. Perform. Fully persuaded in what god promised, he performed. He stepped—and bred!  What faith requires of us—go into world, produce there. Go to person, do something to help. High agency. High confidence. High vision. High heart. High hope. High learning.  Abraham about 100 when STARTED. Prob cared for @ 50 people including Dad, wife & nephew Lot. Go 400 miles from Ur, Sumer, to promised land, from Turkey to Israel, through desert, disease, drought, famine & bandits. With no idea where going or what next.  Just as Adam did, and Christ commands.  STORY is told of young couple who wanted to get married, but had no idea where to move or what work to do. They heard of elderly family member who took ill on farm in a rural state. They moved there to love and take care of him, and in process absolutely fell in love with Farm lifestyle, the relationship, the work. They’ve been able to do the ways in which have been so productive and happy at the same time – – while caring for someone else in true legitimate need. They were not passive and indifferent, selfish, full of fears and anxieties, playing video games in moms' basement. Not full of excuses or fatalism, not weak and insecure. They were a strong young couple trusting each other and serving someone else, and being productive. They perfectly encapsulate the faith of Abraham. They stepped & did.    Nowhere does Jesus say hide. Stop. Take up space. Fear. Tremble. Sit. Soak. Sour.  In some sense caregiving may make you feel like you’re leaving world and stepping out of existence, that you’re no longer relevant, or are invisible. On other hand CG is moving you into world much deeper — world of emotion mind experience of reason of logic of angst of the spirit you see the life is precious, and that is awful, that we are all in a state of decay, that no one will get out of here alive. You see what it means to give and receive you see the consequences in care receivers of the life that the previously lived so happy full of joy, solitude, and great stories others are bitter and mean and nasty and awful. You see that all things ultimate or spiritual things. But out of the heart, the mouth speaks. You see the wages of sin is death. You see that the way of the transgressor is hard. You see the brokenness of man and family, destruction, and personal meanness and agreed for money. All  fight for grandma‘s money, no one fights to take care of her.  You learn more about human nature caring for someone else in 30 days than you did the prior 30 years of your life.  Everywhere Go & Do.  Be Productive.  Productivity is Beautiful.  Like my farm at patriotpups.org

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Intro: Tragic true story of noncommunicative octogenarian man thought for years to be incontinent--who wasnt To be right is to be alone, and sometimes to be very, very wrong.  4 Things we must be right about in CG: Safety & Security of CR Cash Flow (nonpaid bills are lurking snakes)--IU Health as example Medical State as of right now: appts, meds, conditions, supplies, RX, TX, DX,  What is next…what if… But what does it mean “right?” One Beautiful Bill, Grand Scheme, Elegant Solution, Kick closest snake, pragmatism, utilitarianism, ethically right, morally right, legally right, range of options, Look to median & mean, Venn Diagram. Is 80% solution enough. Close enough for govt work? What is the STD, who defines?   Do we find right by Logic, Hunch, Counsel, Advice, Skill, Training, Intuition, Zodiac?  Right for who? CR, CG, Stakeholders, Fam, Med Provider? At West Point--choose the hard right over easy wrong. But most times we are not morally wrong.  In seeking right, there are traps to avoid, per Dr. Caroline Leaf 1-Sometimes our need to be right is fear dressed as logic. Truth is--we dont know. But we are expected to, so we feel pressure to stab at being right. Hwer is where we need to be aware of biases--confirmation, achor, social conformity, halo effect  2-When we prove a point, we build distance not connections. There are only so many times you can be “right” with CR and not lose completely your relationship w her 3-If you always have to win, you’re not communicating, you’re keeping score. Zero Sum Game.   4-Needing to be right makes it real hard to learn what’s actually true.   5-Most pain is caused by people who are right, who know truth, but communicate it as weapon--either as knife or mallet  6-If the conversation is about control, nobody’s listening. Break and regroup later. 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Countercultural Caregiving. Romans 1:1 Catch: Caregiving in America today is as countercultural as Christianity was in Jerusalem in day of Jesus, and in Rome in days of Paul. Christianity began in Jerusalem: Temple, Law, Priests, Passover, Arrest, Trial, Crucifixion, Resurrection, All disciples Jews there, Missions began here, First Sermon: Pentecost (5000 saved from 10+ diff regions of world), Persecution began in Jerusalem when Herod killed James, First churches planted, Real want realized by Christians.  Butt it quickly transitions to Rome—center of world, based on Greek ideas + Roman law.  What was society like there:  Religion cold, formal, cultural, distant, outward focused, rote memory, void of life. But Jesus promises peace like river, joy like fountain, eternal life, spiritual rebirth, rivers of living water, love like an ocean, born again—born of spirit. Our hearts cry “ABBA, father!”    Society heavily patriarchal. Every matriarchal value was devalued. Yet Jesus & Paul assert dignity and responsibility and authority of women, and with it maternal values like love, charity, kindness, goodness, grace--all with humble service. Pricilla, Lydia, (at least) 4 Mary’s, widow casting mites, 2 who poured oil in Him in worship,  Hierarchical society based on power, law, control. But in Christianity the last are first, first last, greatest serves most. We are slaves of gospel, Christ, the lost, church and of others. While they were based on 100% hierarchy, Paul and Jesus took forms of lowest slaves, washing feet, being imprisoned and whipped.  Justice grounded in retribution, the lex talionis, reciprocity cycles. An eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. There was no place in Roman culture or Jewish law for forgiveness. If you acted on principle of doing something kind to someone for sake of kindness, or even worse, doing kindness to someone in the face of their hostility toward you (praying for an enemy, giving them your coat if they take your shirt, turning cheeks to offensive attacks), you were mental basket case and threat to your culture, and a shame to your family.  Yet Christianity injected idea that truth is more important than your honor and shame, in fact truth acted on is sole basis for honor, and to reject truth vertically toward God and horizontally toward man is to bring worst and greatest and eternal shame.  The other aspect of Christianity radical was use of written word. Letters were very rare, expensive, in ancient culture--reserved mostly to kings & generals. Archeologists have collected about 13,000 letters from ancient times. The average letter is 500 words long. Letter to Romans is whopping 7000--longest letter preserved in all of ancient human history. By contrast the longest letter written by Cicero is 2000 words.  In Paul’s day 15% of people could read or write any language, and so it is extremely unusual and rare that the New Testament has 27 written texts. It speaks of his vast network he could pen and send dozens of letters in all directions, and have them circulate to other cities and regions and continents.  The idea is that Christianity is true, can be known, grown in, tested & shared, then transmitted to others. We can know it, and do it (doxos, praxis). Every other religion is static, you learn its secret truth, or you follow its dead human founder,. And yet there is evolving sense in Christianity of growth and development and expansion around the world.  Consider purpose of Romans: to convince conquering Romans they are equally under sin as the Jews, whom God seemed to be replacing with Gentiles. At same time Paul has to convince Jews that these wild, barbarian Gentiles are just as loved, forgiven, redeemed, and received as Jews themselves (even more so!).

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) What makes us crappy listeners? God gave us 2 ears & 1 mouth,, that we would listen 2X more than we talk. So what went wrong?  The thing we need the most of, we do the least.  Broadly speaking sociolinguists identify 3 broad barriers to effective listening:  Internal barriers—daydreaming, ignorance, hearing problems, tired, ADD, jumping to conclusions, personal attacks, listening to speak instead of listening to receive.  External barriers-noise to signal ratio,, context unclear, social pressures, language misunderstandings, Complexity of situation, Emotionalism, noises, TV blaring, time limits  Stereotyping & Bias. 52 to be specific. Most important—confirmation, anchor, Golden Boy, social conformism   So what causes ME to be a crappy listener for my mom? 1) Whack-a-Mole mentality of always solving problems 2) Assuming  3) Anger/Fear—Fear/Anger 4) Unresolved family conflict. Member tension 5) Lack of plan. So much of caregiving seems like planlessness  6) Performance anxiety/perfectionism  The beginning and end of caregiving is listening. So why don’t we? I’m sorry, what did you say??! 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Pouring your heart out as Caregiver Mt 26:6-13  An unknown woman enters a room of religious men. What she does inside is memorialized in the Bible. Not her name, but what she does--meaning we too can be memorialized by our actions.  Jesus’ teaching ministry is finished. His healings and miracles are done. He made clear he will die by crucifixion. The number of days he has left on earth is low single digits. His disciples still are unaware of this, for they have not been paying attention. Into the house of a despised and ostracized leper and into this room an unnamed lady enters, without invitation. She is unknown to everyone in the room, all men. She walks to Jesus, opens a box, then pours out its content upon his head, totally silent. No word is spoken by her. Then she leaves, as fast as she came, though Jesus comments upon her action.  She came and poured, THEY sat and said. She ACTS active tense, they complain in passive voice. She works, they words. She alone, they many. She a woman, they men. She serves,  they criticize. She worships, they whine. She is positive, they are negative.  A denarius = 1 day of labor. Here 300 days of gross pay, or $48K @$20/hr.  Spikenard—Amber-colored essential oil from India & China, like honeysuckle, used for perfume + medicine + religious rites. She worked, saved, searched for & preserved this for Jesus.  Alabaster box—soft, polished stone, typically white and translucent, used for carving, either a type of gypsum or calcite. Carved, filled, sealed—hence representation of Jesus’ burial.  Cost-less Christianity is worth-less Christianity. A Christianity without cost is a Christianity without value.  How many times we criticize people for doing what they want with their own things. Like you care? Like it matters to you? Like it impacts you in some way?  Their response to her worship: indignation, murmuring, rebuke & troubling her  Consider this:  Her wordless worship is compelling Her worship fills the world today, as it did that entire room.  Her sincerity was too much for Judas to bear, or disciples to swallow  The beauty of her act is it is purely and simply given to Jesus.  Hymn: “only one life,” CT Studd:  Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last. How important are “they” to you. Every woman has 5 voices in her head she is listening to-who torment her with guilt. As a result, she is held back. She freezes.  How many people DONT do something, attempt something,—because of ….. roles (she woman, they men), guilt (mine is not enough), shame (look dumb), fear (rebuked). If you want to do something, nothing can stop you. If you don’t want to do something, any excuse will suffice Example 2021 bought restaurant at worst time: Biden, Covid, logistics, inflation, supply chain, rural area, no prior experience, reliant on teen labor, in debt, prev owner horrible reputation, extreme bad quality food, 40 miles from my home, nocturnal industry & no weekends, with high standards where previously there were none. 100 things to worry about and deal with before even get to food. With my faith & politics very overt (not hidden). Result: we won Best of Region 2-yrs in row; TV 5-times; 4 food blogs; ; invented everything on menu; welcomed many families into NTX; hosted popular radio program on local station; did much good—1st Responders Meal; kids eat free pizza for reading 10 books at library; veterans get free beer as our way to say thanks; hosted homeschool groups for military history lesson & make own pizza; 100 free pizzas to teachers in 8 school districts.  Its not just this woman. Simon Leper opened his house and fed so many. Mary in Bethany did similar when she

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) "Though our bodies be taken from us through Parkinson's, or our minds removed by Alzheimer's, our soul is intact in Christ.” Please pray 3 things for Sabrina & her dad, Willam.  If you have prayer request, email me [email protected]  Pray! 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Jim Henson, on caregiving  Catch: it ain’t easy being a caregiver, and it ai t easy being green  Henson created modern puppetry. Every person over 40 can name 10 of his characters, each it is said reflects some attribute about Henson. In high school he joined a puppetry club. He met his wife in a puppetry class in college. He applied for a TV job in College but no one was hiring. He noticed job posting for a puppeteer. He went to library, read one book, came back and ended up with a twice – weekly puppet show on television. Like every “overnight success” it took him 10 years to strike on Sesame Street idea. His leadership style was marked by: fearless, hardworking, generous, and calm. Worth $100M at death. His companies 2-3x that amount.  1) We create our own reality. Bible: As a man thinks, so is he…Pro 23:7 2) Listening is the first & last step. The thing we need the most of, we do the least of—listening. Listening creates humility, builds relationship and better results.    3) Simple is good. Jim would say these words then set about to create and perfect the most complicated task possible-nearly wiping out all to do it.  4) The reason we’re here is to work our way through it—and come out wiser. We learn as we tackle each problem.  I cannot say why I am good at what I do, but I work very hard. I am not aware of making conscious career decisions. I do one thing, and it leads to another, in natural progression. I believe in what I do, and get great pleasure from it. I feel fortunate I do what I do and love it. When the path is steep and night is all around. When your heart is lost and your map cannot be found, face facts, act on your own. Preparation, perspiration, determination are keys. Pack snacks, and make tracks.  5) The places you’re going are never on the map. Show me what I can explore. Direct your energies on things you can affect.  This is the place, This is the time.  To clear your heart,  And open your mind. 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Acts 18:1-4  On Easter Sunday evening of 1523 a man drove his wagon full of fish barrels into the courtyard of a nunnery in Germany, where 12 nuns secretly were waiting to flee. Many of them had been sold as young girls into the convent by their parents, some through destitution, others by neglect and others for profit. And so these 12 brave young nuns hid themselves quietly inside fish barrels, hoping they could escape their convent prison. Only their clothes & faith, shoeless so as not to make a sound.  The next day they were met by a former German priest, now himself a protestant minister of the gospel of salvation by grace through faith, and not of works. He looked upon one of these freed young ladies. Most he married off to former priests, some went back to their families. But the one left began the first and most powerful dynamic duo for the gospel in the modern era. Martin Luther had met his young Catarina. He was 40, she 24. This was the first time in 500 years that anyone had seen a married pastor. Both hated: she divorced Christ to marry one who had divorced the church.  Today we talk about the first Dynamic Duo of Christianity. Their names are mentioned 6x in 4 books of NT. His name means “eagle, her’s “old fashioned.”  AP Journeys Rome to Corinth: stay 2 years  Corinth to Ephesus: stay 4 years Return to Rome 800 miles Rome to Corinth, Italy to Greece, 2 languages & cultures 2100 miles Corinth to Ephesus (by way of Syria)—otherwise just 400 miles, Europe to Asia, 2 continents  1200 miles Ephesus to Rome  3 continents / 3 big cities / 4000 miles / across 5 seas & oceans / 4 very distinct land masses / multiple languages & cultures / enormous cost & effort to themselves (as family) / self-funded / with family? in 6 years  Paul travels 50 miles from Athens to Corinth, while A 800 miles Rome to Corinth — for this divine appointment  Curious: both Paul and Aquila BORN in Asia Minor (modern day west turkey). Tarsus—Paul. Pontus-Aquila. Homies! Ironies: both Jews, now Christians, travelers, teachers, workers in gospel, tent makers, evangelistic, leavers of rural hometowns to become cosmopolitan, manly masculine men.  From Rome where there was a tent makers association. Then to Corinth due to expulsion because Jews. Met Paul. Later moved to Ephesus few years later, where confronted Apollos. Hosted Paul in home. They then move back to Rome. Prob killed by Nero after great fire in Rome in 64ad.  Jesus said, id “seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things [food, clothing and drink] shall be added to you” (Matt. 6:33). The Apostle Paul describes Aquila and Priscilla as “fellow workers in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 16:3). We have seen that this couple was missions minded, they opened their home so that the believers could gather to remember the Lord, pray, and have fellowship as they were instructed in the Word of God (cf. Acts 2:42). They also were engaged in “secular” employment so that they were not a financial burden on the churches. Yet God blessed them with a very successful business so they could show hospitality to the saints by inviting the church in their home.  There is no secular-sacred divide. Somebody has to pay for religious things. God can use every part of your work & home & family for His care of others. Your work is personal (Apollos) and corporate (fellow workers who risked lives for gospel) in 3 cities.  Aquila and Priscilla were a married couple who owned and operated a tentmaking business. All six New Testament references to Aquila and Priscilla mention them together.  They were known for their hospitality, hostin

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) WHEN to Lie to Mom Liar liar pants on fire, when is it right to lie to your mother. Or other care receiver?  We Lie all time: Like fletcher Reed in hilarious Jim Carrey movie liar liar. What would happen if we had to tell truth in every situation for 24 hrs!!!  We lie so often we call them white lies. Pure lies. Harmless lies. Since 1500s—pure lies oxymoron.  Dont lie, when phone rings, “tell them im not here.”  You look great in that outfit Don’t tell your mother!  Kids: I promise, we won’t… I swear to God… On my mother’s life  Cross my heart, hope to die…stick a needle in my eye!  No, granny, we love your meatloaf; its just that we ate before we got here. Im on my way. Well be there in 10 minutes Your kids not fat, just big boned. Im eating for 2. Laughing at joke that wasn't really funny Ill call you. Were praying for ya’ I didn't get your text  Everything coming out of wash dc!  Joke: how do you know when a politician is lying—their lips are moving.   Verses in Bible which make lying a sin: Lying lips are an abomination to God  God hates a lying tongue  Satan is father of liars; he was liar from beginning Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness Against Your Neighbor So when is right: When safety dictates. “The doctor said..”  When they cannot distinguish reality from fiction. When truth too much. It confuses. It’s too complex  When you know their limits but they do not. It preserves their sanity.  When it preserves your health and sanity  Its my business, and no one else’s business To protect someone else, their name, their face. Their good graces.  Many things too trivial & unimportant to Go into, explain, defend, justify  When challenges key belief stereotype bias she leans on. Even crazy things  When she will forget IF person emotionally fragile, near death, or would be confused by truth. Where in situation unable to control  (were going to die in plane crash; “everything’s okay.” Or you have bad information When cost of telling truth outweighs cost of lie (hiding a Jew example)  Tips on How to Lie: Speak truth in love  Love covers multitude of sins If can’t, say next best thing  Never in anger  Never to hurt  Be positive  Speak in active voice  Goal: best quality of life possible w-I larger context of rights & interests of others What say let be truth—even if incomplete  If real serious involve someone else in discussion 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) The Apostle Paul as Grandfam. Paul’s care for Tim & Titus Catch: What is a Grandfam. No, not a baseball homerun when the bases are loaded! Today on Helping Mom we look at the Apostle’s Paul’s great care for 2 young men & pastors. In America today 10% of children live with a grandparent (10M). This is due to drugs, addiction, alcholism, prison, abuse, neglect & death. Another 10% (10M more) are informally raised by grandparents. I know, this was me. According to statistics, 50% of children raised by grandparents are under 6yoa, most at or below poverty level. Many school districts today don’t even use the word “parent” but “guardian” when discussing students. For 1 year, I taught in a Title 1 public school where it seemed 1/3 of kids have no parental involvement.  The Apostle Paul was a spiritual grandfather. And just as GrandFams today face economic, emotional and financial stresses to raise a skipped generation, so, too, did Paul. Yet Paul fulfilled the Caregiver Creed--to set up those in his care to succeed. This is what it means to caregive--to set up our care receiver to enjoy the best quality of life we can at this time.  Paul’s caregiving was spiritual, not natural. He cared for a bastard Jew, born of scandalous mixed-marriage of Jewish mother and non-Jewish dad. And for a Roman gentle, about whom nothing is recorded until after he joins Paul in actual ministry.  These young men became of all things pastors, though in radically different places. They never appear together in scripture. There is no mention they ever met. Neither qualified for roles given.  Titus. Paul put Titus in worst place possible to be pastor. He was young. The best Paul could do was write him 1 letter. Before then Paul had been taking Titus’ measure (favorite quote here by Mardsden, “Make every occasion a great occasion, for you never know when God may be taking your measure for a larger place.” Jesus said, “To whom much is given, of the same much is expected.” And, “he who is faithful in little will be faithful in much.” Titus as faithful in everything Paul asked him to do. First, to carry a harsh letter Paul had written to a messed up church in city of Corinth. Then he used Titus to collect money from gentile Christians to take with him on journey to Jerusalem to help Jewish Christians suffering poverty. Then Paul took Titus to Jerusalem to attend very important leadership meeting on church doctrines. Finally, Paul gave Titus the worst job in world--to be a pastor and create a church that pleased God, on the awful, lying floating island rock of sin—called Crete. Titus was a task-oriented How-to…Type A Doer. He would have been a great soldier. AccompLish the Mission; Take care of your People.  Timothy on other hand, was a mamzer, whose mother and grandmother Paul knew, who were 2 biggest influences in Tim’s life growing up in painfully small town in middle of nowhere called Lystra. Timothy had no dad, was insecure, so Paul did a lot to build up the psyche of Timothy before putting him as most important, largest church in early Christianity--the church at Ephesus. Ephesus was huge, mostly Gentile, big-city folk, with international outreach, and many languages spoken inside.  Timothy is Greek name; Timothy is a Mamser. Could only marry slave or fellow mamser. Stigma passed on till 10th generation!   A Bastard. A mumzer was prohibited from being circumcised, entering temple, he could never worship with Jews, and absolutely he would never have any right to participate in any formal matter concerning religion. So consider here when Paul circumcises Timothy, he is violating the law. Mom was not allowed to be circumcised. It was from Lystra- a small town in plan in middle of nowhere. 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Dementia Dos & Donts Catch: I confess. I am guilty of believing ALL myths about D--that D is a disease, normal in old people. Everyone gets it. It means forgetfulness. There’s nothing you can do once you get it. It is a mild form of Alzheimers. There are meds you can take for it. You can take a test for it. It is clear, obvious, etc.  It’s name is horrible. Dementia comes from Latin demens, (de-without, mens-mind), lit. “out of one’s mind.” Name so awful, some med profs suggest changing it to “disorder” or “disease.”   Truths It is not common. 5%. It is not disease. It is collection of symptoms. There is no test for it. There are things you can do. It is not fatal. It is much more than just memory loss (judgment, decision making, physical movement). There are no meds for it. There is not even clear definition of what constitutes dementia. It is subjective by med professionals. It is not even clear what med prof should be the one to diagnose it. They look for a collection of symptoms caused by one or more underlying diseases. The most common is Alzheimers. Second stroke. Third Parkinsons. Fourth HBP or diabetes. Fifth TBI.  MDs could prescribe up to 15 diff meds, not for D itself but for underlying causes (e.g., Parkinsons, Alzeimers, Depression, HBP, Diabetes, etc). Same thing for testing, MD could order MRI of brain--not to see dementia, but maybe signs of strokes, or bleeding.  5.3M currently suffer D. By 2050 30M, at which time it will cost $1.2Trillion/yr.  Very expensive to treat, perhaps most expensive condition This and Alz most feared by elderly, plus trip and falls.  Dementia is a collection of symptoms, not a single disease. It is caused by various brain disorders, including Alzheimer's disease, vascular dementia, and frontotemporal dementia. Symptoms typically worsen over time. Common symptoms include memory loss, confusion, difficulty with language, changes in behavior, and problems with judgment and decision-making. Dementia can affect people of all ages, but it is more common in older adults. There is currently no cure for dementia, but treatments can help manage symptoms and slow down the decline.  Key Difference is when you don’t remember that you forget. Dont know you are different.  Generally diagnosed when Memory loss AND one of 4 other traits: can’t understand language; can’t make certain movements; don’t recognize objects or people; executive functions.  Alzheimer’s—a plaque that builds between synapses in brain. Not sure cause of A. Can live with A for up to decade, but 3-5 yrs most common.  Things that increase the risk of developing dementia include: age (more common in those 65 or older)  high blood pressure (hypertension) high blood sugar (diabetes) being overweight or obese smoking drinking too much alcohol being physically inactive being socially isolated Progression  First D takes away recent events memory. Then other areas of brain—judgment, movement. Executive functions. Mood changes. Some suffer intense hallucination—seeing large colorful animal for minutes and hours. Some start doing really risky things—shoplifting, stealing, taking money out of bank, driving reckless.  No cure. But can lessen symptoms if catch early enough. For some reason up to drink two drinks, a day of alcohol may stem the worsening of dementia. Coffee may help. Green tea also. BEWARE JUNK SCIENCE! (espec supplements by social media influencers)!!! Early signs and symptoms are: forgetting things or recent events losing or misplacing things

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) We can care give, because He care gave!   His past tense makes possible our present tense.  Because he said, “I have,” we can say, “I can.” Who was Daniel Webster Whittle?  Named after great Daniel Webster. Joined civil war, got married on eve of departing. Lost arm in major battle fighting with Sherman in Georgia. Became POW. There he found a NT put into his knapsack by mom. A nurse came to him one night, telling him another soldier lay dying. Needed someone to attend. Whittle went. While there on knees praying for wounded soldier, Whittle confessed his own sin. When opened his eyes, that soldier dead. 2 Tim 1:12 Lyrics I know not why God’s wondrous grace To me He hath made known, Nor why, unworthy, Christ in love Redeemed me for His own. Refrain: But “I know Whom I have believed, And am persuaded that He is able To keep that which I’ve committed Unto Him against that day.” I know not how this saving faith To me He did impart, Nor how believing in His Word Wrought peace within my heart. I know not how the Spirit moves, Convincing men of sin, Revealing Jesus through the Word, Creating faith in Him. I know not what of good or ill May be reserved for me, Of weary ways or golden days, Before His face I see. I know not when my Lord may come, At night or noonday fair, Nor if I walk the vale with Him, Or meet Him in the air. Whittle wrote 200 hymns, dedicated his life to serving God, even with DL Moody. His daughter married Moody’s son. Whittle often wrote in pseudonym.  John 17 is high priestly prayer by Jesus. John Knox had wife read this to him on death bed. Jesus prays for unity service purity and glory. He commends his followers to God’s care, for he is now leaving them.  Jesus was a caregiver, so we can be too. John 17. His past tense “I have” makes possible our “I can” as caregivers. Because of his “I have” we can say “I can…” as caregiver. I have glorified, finished, manifested, given, prayed for, kept, sent, I in them. These are the hallmarks of caregiving.   His past tense (served) empowers our present (serve). Why? Because, I know Whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able, to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day…

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) "Go to the ANT, thou sluggard!" Solomon declares in Proverbs, for it is diligent, works hard without being told what to do, and lays up for winter its over-production during warm days of Summer. The ant perfectly models the bee and beehive (also spoken of highly in Bible for industry). But, BEWARE walking onto a nest of ants. Ouch!  The field ant is half-inch long, 100K live in a typical colony, headed by 1 queen who lays 1000s eggs/day, all work is done by female worker bees, and men are useless save for mating then dying. It is interesting, the queen lives for 30 years, but secretes a pheromone that kills her subservient female worker bees in, say, 30-days. Not fair, no?  Field ants have an incredibly interesting mutually symbiotic relationship with aphids--which they care for and shepherd, protecting them from other, worse, predators--while also living off them, eating them, and so forth. I find field ant nests fascinating. I can look at them for hours (did you know there can be miles of tunnels dug deep inside them, in pitch black, which lead perfectly from important areas to important areas. Ants have been "preppers" for centuries! LOL But as fascinating as field ant nests can be to study, you dont want to step on them--just ask my adult dogs which do the Indiana Hot-Foot dance each time they come upon them. It is like this in caregiving--the nest has been there a long time, but below surface, where we do not see it. Or, more likely where we pretended to not see it, while living in our own state of denial. But when we are standing direct on top of it--THEN we see it.  So, what are the ant nests of caregiving? I sense 5: the initial triggering event that forces us to finally, finally see that mom needs help, or that someone has to do something to help dear ol dad. This triggering event has probably been coming for months or years, but now that we are standing right in middle of it, now we open our eyes to see it (tho many around us still dont).  Second triggering event is the fall of mom or dad, literally. See my podcasts on how to fall-proof your house. It is the NUMBER ONE thing you can do today to love your care receiver--remove trip hazards inside/outside their home.  Third, family fissures. Cracks hidden below makeup and fake smiles, which now cannot be hidden. You will be surprised how negatively powerful these eruptions can be. BOOM! The marriage is over; Siblings square off; parent-child dynamics degenerate.  Fourth, the cost to care for another quickly adds up. Upwards of $8K/yr to avg caregiver, tho actual cost much higher.  Take heart, while ant nests are real-and hurt-they are not ultimate. For just as ant nest can be as big as 4' across--this is nothing compared to my 20-acres that surround it. So while this ant nest is real you face, it is not ultimate. You will get across it, if you keep your head, and heart, and take the next step (albeit quickly).  Take heart, friends. Consider the Ant--just dont step on them!!     

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Program Note: Today I experimented with new microphone for podcast. I hate it, so will throw it in trash. Sorry for echo-sound in voice. It wont happen again. "New" is not always better.  Where were Jesus’ followers or Mary’s children? What is THE LAST act on Earth, by Jesus Christ? HOW did John's life change this day? What was its impact on Jesus' own family members?  Luke 22:44. “And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” blood falling to ground. Praying most Earnestly — in agonia. Hematodrosis—extreme stress. Severe anxiety activates sympathetic nervous system to invoke fight-or-flight response to such degree to cause hemorrhage of vessels. Blood comes out sweat glands.  John: puts Virgin Mary here, her sister (Jesus' aunt), wife of Cleopas, Mary Magdalene  Mark 15:40 identifies women as Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James the less and of Joses, and Salome; … and many other women Luke 22:49: And all his acquaintance, and the women that followed him from Galilee, stood afar off, beholding these things. Matthew 27:55- And many women were there beholding afar off, which followed Jesus from Galilee, Among which was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee’s children. CHALLENGE: Put together the above till you see who is the aunt of Jesus, and what this means to Jesus' charge to John...See also how curious wife of Cleopas is here with Jesus pre-crucifixion, while Cleopas is with Jesus post-resurrection at Emmaus.   3 Maras (Marys) & Salome in pain and bitterness. 1-2 widows. All believers. All courageous. All horrified.  One his mom. The other his aunt. Third the husband Cleopas on Emmaus—Jesus’ uncle?  Mary Magdalene--most lied about woman in Bible.   If this is Salome mother of James and Jude then Jesus is first cousin to John Baptist and these 2 disciples (see mark’s list of these 4 women). Third Mary is wife of cleopas and mother of James the less. Legend: Cleopas was brother of Joseph (Jesus’ dad)?   All 3 women here were mothers of Jesus and his followers Strange address. Not “mom,” but generic “you,” used 200 times in NT.  “Mother” used next means in place of mother. Like metaphor. Place woman to son. John. I am not your son now, WOMAN. John affection toward your new mom. Mother to son is between Mary to John. Catholics claim that Jesus here is submitting John to Mary’s care, when in fact, the opposite is very clear. The reason is because Catholics want to say that even Peter was submissive to Mary. Clearly Jesus is telling this woman that she is now the adopted mother of John and that he is her adoptive son. But it is John who’s clearly taking care of Mary the aged widow. By calling her woman, he is telling her that now our relationship is not son and mom, but Messiah and follower. Toward one another as humans between MARY and John, you are brothers and sisters, sons and mothers. She has been his blessed mother, she will now be become his blessed follower, she has no special access or relationship with Jesus that the rest of us cannot also possess and enjoy. His word accomplishes His work.  John taking Mary unto himself means all that which is personal and private. All is connoted.  This is exactly the same expression in chapter 1 versus 11 when it says Jesus went into his own, but his own did not will receive him for welcome. His last act on earth was taking care of his mother, and maybe extending John’s life & ministry also. John outlives all other disciples, the only one not martyred. This is key, when James his brotherw was first to be kill

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Disclaimer: following thoughts my own; names have been changed to protect the guilty  7 Funny (tho Helpful) things about Caregiving, based on book "Self-Care for Caregivers" by Susanne White Do best you can – – till you know better        LC is huge fast steep  Lower expectations and do bare minimum       You're already great—you’re here!  Self-care comes before long-term care        If you’re not here, they’re not here        Dr Luks podcast  Caregiving is like a resume        Approach like job description        P 180 of book  Make no decision in the dark        GO for walk. Sleep on it. Pray about it Eliminate everything        Org is everything        MT is disaster for CG       “balance” recognizes no perfect  Know when to lie      See my later podcast at least 7-times when you MUST lie to care receiver  

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Special Announcement. As of June 7, 2025 helping.mom podcast now has 1000+ downloads from 15 countries & 138 diff cities. Thanks to each of you! Also, I have made decision to NOT put advertisements inside my podcasts. I am sick of how many adverts are now cluttering podcasts that I (used to) listen to. I wont do this to you. IF you hear adverts, they are not coming from me. Please dont view me negative b/c of them. I promise to come to you with 100% original, fresh, real content. I am NOT trying to market you, sell you. But, still you can help--like, follow, share our podcasts with your friends, and link us to your social media. This is best, now only, way I can GROW the SHOW! 3 forgotten widows in Bible teach us great truths.  Catch: did you know Jesus almost got killed because of a little old widow woman! Luke 4:25 tells story of his first sermon in his hometown, and what quickly went wrong. It's a hilarious tale, and gives credence to his claim, "A prophet is not without honor--except in his own house, family and hometown."  The story he told was of a Gentile widow w/ dying son in decadent land of Phoenicians. In his first public speech Jesus uses this woman as proof text that God sent a great Jewish leader Elijah outside Israel to feed and care for and save this Gentile Widow, whose name is never told us.  She lived in famous land Phoenicia between 2 pagan awful cities—Tyre & Sidon in modern day Lebanon. We don’t like it when God blesses our enemies (see Jonah angry at repentance of Ninevah)!  Question: was her raised son Jonah?  God provides for her, in his mercy, when she acts on her faith. And what a step she did take-giving food out of mouth of her dearest possession, her ailing son, who would die this very night.  Widow & 2 Mites. Luke 21:2; Marrk 12:42. But what do you do when your act of faith does NOT result in God blessing you now, here? Do you still believe? Do you still act upon the faith you possess? This unnamed widow says yes. Jesus sees you, knows you. He w bless you, even if not now. You will never be a poor widow again, casting in the last two mites you own. God do not give her much oppty in this world, so that she would be boundless in next. Penury. She indicts both society & religion—neither of which sees her. Or regards as important anything she does. A nameless poor woman. Her life is metaphor for Jesus' life.  Mite is called a lepton, is smallest coin. 1/64 of denarius. A denarius was one day of pay for average worker like a soldier. Today she had about $2 in today's terms. When you act on your faith, and give what you have, you give much. No matter how much is that much. Lesson: intention, shown by effort, done in faith. Faith acted on. Some suggest she died this night, in parallel to Jesus-he sees her quiet humble sacrifice in Temple as his own on the Mount.  Anna, our 3rd widown, the prophetess in Temple greeting Jesus (Lk 2). Married 7 yrs (husband not named); a widow for 84yrs old (105yr old?). Point—make every occasion a great occasion, for you never know when someone may be taking your measure for a larger place. And God is always taking your measure. God will use you for His plan. Anna’s dad Phanual means “Face of God.” From tribe of Ashur known for happiness & prosperity. Asher on the Med Sea; the area of Galilee where is Nazareth, Jesus' hometown. Night & Day In Temple. Prayer & Fasting. Sharing gospel w all seekers.  Anna 1 of 5 prophetesses mentioned in NT. Philip in Acts 21:9 had 4 daughters who did prophesy. This would make Anna one of the last prophetess in Old Testament. For 84 yrs she prepared people for coming of Messiah, which she got to hold this very day!!! She was an evangelist like John Baptist, who got to baptize Jesus as she got to circumcise, bless Him.  Note to grandma’s: proba

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) I would argue caregiving is ALL ABOUT managing emotions. Which is why I was awful at it, when I first began.  Author Susanne White in book "Self-care for Caregivers," makes 3 interesting insights into managing emotions as caregiver.  Caregiving is an intense experience--with big feelings. Boy, is it!?!?!  We cannot make negative feelings (shock, denial, anger, depression, fear, etc) disappear, but by being aware of them they lose their power over us. The only way to get over our feelings is to get thru them, what she calls "to sit still--and feel" (which as you will hear in podcast is hard for me to say!!!).  But if we do above, our emotions can serve as guidelines for us, rather than as goads & gods warring about us and inside our brains as caregivers.   Please share your own thoughts on managing emotions as caregivers. How are you doing in this? 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) The Secret of Christianity: We walk behind Christ, who walked before God. Everywhere He said, "Come, follow me."  Letter of Ephesians is master opus of Paul. Key of letter is to distinguish Christians from syncretism idolatry sinfulness and hedonism of Ephesians (fertility goddess Diana). What Christians Look Like? is a great sermon topic for this letter.   C-ity is Belief + Behavior. Doctrine and Duty. Christ opens our relationship with God as Savior, Christ governs our relationships to others as Lord. The first half of letter to Christians in Ephesians is God working salvation into us. Second half is our working out of what that salvation looks like before others. Paul says “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.“ A boulder has fallen into the pond of your life; the ripple effect will reach every corner of your water surface.  C-ity is Blender in your Guts  We are not saved by good deeds. But we are saved for good deeds. By faith, we are saved, by works we are judged. To whom much is given, much is expected. The gospel good news of Jesus is both vertical in worship and horizontal in walk. Our behavior proves belief.  Kids walk behind their Dad. WE all have pics of kids standing in their dad shoes. My Fave Picture is my daughter Lauren doing so in my business shoes, shirt & tie. She looks great in them, I must say (tho pic taken 35 yrs ago). God's favorite "picture" of us is walking in unity as siblings, following the example of Christ, serving others. But we cant serve others just in love; we must do so in charity. Caregivers give love. Christians are walkers, not mere talkers.  We walk in humility  We walk in truth  We walk in completeness, soundness of mind  We walk in maturity  We walk in confidence  We walk in counter-cultured ness  Walk in practicality  We are relevant! Salt & Light Jesus said Christianity is the most powerful force on planet.  See the lyrics by Philips, Craig & Dean, to song "I want to be just like you."  Christians walk the talk..  We walk behind Jesus, who walked before God. “Come, follow me” he said to fishermen & tax collectors. Rich & poor. To Lazarus, “come down.” John’s disciples left John to follow Jesus Jesus does Matt 5:16--he does good works seen by everyone which glorify God He is not a king somewhere who cannot be reached by peasants  He is not an ideal sensed only by a bald head  philosopher He is not a mean and scouring judge who hates all who stand before him Christ is a Caregiver! He gives care--he loves and give. Say again: he loves and gives. THIS is what we do as caregivers--we love and give But we must do both.  1 Cor 13:1 Tho I speak w tongues of great men even angels--if i have not charity i am become a loud & obnoxious cymbal being smashed in your ear We love & give as he loved & gave  J127 vs j215 Without charity you are nothing. 1 Cor 15:1  “I am nothing.” Caregivers give care. Our charity is ongoing, pleasant, present tense. It pleases God. It helps CR. It models Christlikeness. It shows were in His path. We are his ultimately.  Paul says (2Co 2:15: “we are unto God a sweet savor of Christ."  Sacrifice is both a verb and noun. We sacrifice a sacrifice. It connotes cost, intentionality, rareness, In a moment. Ultimate. Final. Commitment to the end.  Sweet smell. What you do and how and why please the Lord like a flower in field  pleases you. One satisfies God—we reach end for which we are created. One pleases Him in process.  Caregiving also keeps us from many sins in verses following (v3)  So how was Christ our caregiver?  Intentional—I have come to seek & save the lost. Seeks others' best--came not to condemn—they are con

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Federal Jury in NYC finds CVS & subsidiary Omnicare guilty for filing 3M fraudulent Rx claims in 3000 nursing homes, against Medicare, Medicaid & Tricare, over several years. CVS slammed for $400M in damages to USA govt + whistleblower who first reported wrongdoing. Think about this: 3M false claims in 3K places.  Trump administration promises more Whistleblower Lawsuits to come.  Our Special Report identifies who is Omnicare, what is CVS, and how this FRAUD was inflicted on unwitting nursing home patients & their families, including many who are disabled.  This verdict is another reason why PBMs (CVS Caremark) must be eliminated in USA, and why vertical integration of the health care industry leads to MILLIONS of fraudulent acts like those found here by this Jury. Also, why US govt must apply DOGE-like AI tools to prosecute more Qui Tam / False Claims Act / Whistleblower lawsuits.  Case is United States of America v Omnicare, Inc; CVS Health Corp. No 1:15-cv-04179-CM. United States District Court Southern District of New York

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Hospital admission rates, severity, cost and duration is 4x higher for 65yoa than 25yoa.   20% of 65yoa will go to hospital this year; rate is 10x higher than for 20yoa.  AVG stay in hospital for 65yoa is 6 days, at $4k per day avg cost, or $24K total  The median age for patients in hospital today is 66yoa  THE HIGHEST % of patients in hospital today for drug and alcohol abuse is 65+ Top reasons for 65yoa hospitalizations are:        Falls are the leading cause of injury      Adverse Effects to Medications:  hard to keep track of the growing number of medicines take .      Congestive Heart Failure: Heart disease, the number one killer of men and women in the US, is often the underlying cause of chest pain, shortness of breath and heart failure.      Stroke: Although this is the third leading cause of death, symptoms of stroke are distinct enough for someone to recognize and get help in time, before long-term damage occurs. 10 Things to do when your Mom goes into hospital:  1) Take care of her pet. Get rid of that pet.  2) Take out trash.  3) Empty refrigerator.  4) Declutter like wanting to do for months. “Safety” Get rid of everything you’ve been wanting to get rid of. This will prove therapeutic. It will be something positive you can do.  5) Wash/Dry all bedding and sheets and towels and blankets and washcloths.  6) Plan what to eat. You need healthy things you can grab and go. Do not start eating fast food. You need protein and water, protein, and water, protein, and water.  7) Don’t stop praying and reading your Bible. Dont reach too many conclusions..don’t “mine” gods will. Fitness center. Don’t stop living.  8)  Get mail; dont hold mail 9)  Group text status 10). Coordinate meds. Hospital won’t know.  BONUS) Love your mom IAW her LL—gift, service, time, words, touch  —-pics of pup, yard, house  —visit by fam & friends & pastor  —donut or scone or cup coffee  —pray for her  —flowers  —updates on news events 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) How do we go from "pleasant" to "bitter" to "blessed" as caregiver. Sometimes it takes 12 years... Of the fears within and fightings without which beset us as caregivers, none is more strong than bitterness. Bitterness binds as it blinds. It banishes us from those we are trying to help, as from those who are trying to help us. It renders us ineffective--even as we sin while doing good.  Bitterness comes from many places, including resentment, injustice, unforgiveness, pain, anxiety and unmet expectations.  The 3-fold cure for bitterness is found in OT short story called "Ruth," which should be named "Naomi," as Naomi is the caregiver for Ruth, her ex-daughter-in-law pagan godless "Moabitess."  Listen today as we open the incredible story of Caregiver Naomi, and learn 3 things she did to overcome bitterness and change her name from "Mara" to "blessed." The secret is in "and it came to pass..."        PLEASE: Listen to this great song in Bluegrass style, “He’ll Make a Way” by NewFound Road. You’ll be dancing with Naomi! 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) National policy toward the aging must be to keep them in their homes as long as possible; and, where not, inside homes of family members who have direct interest in their health and wellbeing. To incentivize right behavior, keep families intact, offset enormous costs of caregiving, and provide for care of aged, our national government must pay full-time family member caregivers $50,000 per year, when providing care to 100% disabled loved one who is under active medical care, and court supervision in guardianship.