Honestly, Dear Listener

A lot of us didn’t get what we needed as kids, so we adapted—squeezed ourselves into shapes that kept us safe. As adults, our nervous systems still remember those shapes. This episode is about our inner child: the part that wants to play and create, but also freaks out when life feels unsafe.Carrie shares how ACA and parts work (IFS) helped her begin reparenting herself; Emily talks survival mode, productivity, and why singing felt like safety. We get into grief-in-autumn vibes, the self-soothing we never learned, and—because it’s us—a strangely perfect detour into inner ears and earwax: inner child, inner ear—chef’s kiss._____________________________________________________References:ACA - Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families - 12-Step Support & Recovery Group - for anyone who, because of people or circumstances in their childhoods, had to adapt in painful, unhelpful, or unhealthy ways to survive—whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spirituallyIFS - Internal Family Systems - also known as “parts work” - a psychotherapy tool developed by Richard C. Schwartz that views that the mind as a collection of relatively separate subpersonalities or parts, each with its own unique viewpoint and qualities“Ball of Wax” - english idiom meaning “everything” or “all of it”TIMECODES:0:00 - Intro0:49 - Grief3:24 - Inner Child work10:39 - Often, our parents didn’t have enough tools to give us what we needed12:35 - Hiding from healing in the church18:54 - We were trained that if we were okay, we were doing something wrong21:59 - We weren’t taught how to self-soothe24:32 - When the Inner Child calls bullshit/earning back our Inner Child’s trust27:14 - Getting healing for US is the best gift we could give our kids28:48 - Our Inner Child is the seat of our creativity34:39 - Trauma lands hard as a child35:28 - The Earwax Discussion

Carrie tried smoking grass at 14. It's not what you think. It didn't go well.Today, we’re doing something a little different: Carrie is sharing a finished thing—a non-fiction short story she wrote called “The Inside Girl.” It’s about growing up in a bubble, longing to be inside of culture, and the day teenage curiosity met cattail fluff and…fire. It’s a story she needed to write to make sense of her longing to belong._____________________________________________________________Where to find Carrie:Read “The Inside Girl” on SubstackSubstack: carriekingpresents.substack.comInstagram: @carriekingpresentsYouTube: @carriekingpresents

This week on the show, we talk about play and rest and how they’re kind of important parts to our creative practice. We talk about giving our minds a rest and letting our bodies take the wheel by choosing low-stakes experiments (waste the page) to loosen perfectionism. On the rest side, we talk about what it is (choice) and isn’t (doomscrolling).We’re getting a little rebellious with this one—and perhaps even a tad wasteful *gasp*!References:Utah Shakespeare Festival - annual summer/fall theatre festival in Cedar City, UTInto the Woods - 2014 Disney adaptation of the 1986 musical Into the Woods starring Meryl Streep and a bunch of other famous people“Stay with Me” - song from the 2014 Disney adaptation of the 1986 musical Into the Woods written by Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine Heartburn - novel by Nora Ephron, narrated by Meryl StreepTom Lake - novel by Ann Patchett, narrated by Meryl Streep“Aqueous Transmission” - song by Incubus“Get Ur Freak On” - song by Missy ElliottThe Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - novel by Douglas AdamsThe Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron TIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:04 - Get your “frisson”8:15 - Dance as play12:16 - Resistance to play18:13 - When did we stop playing?29:49 - Rest is radical

In this Rewind & Reset episode, we look back at Quarter 3—Carrie stepping into her writing and performance dreams, and Emily navigating grief while still creating music and finding her footing. We talk about what it means to stop playing small, to honor our own timing, and to carry those lessons forward into Quarter 4 with gentleness, courage, and creativity.References:Carrie’s Substack - Read & SUBSCRIBE hereCarrie’s “Girl on the Mountain” Substack post - (It’s actually called “The Audacity of Wanting”)TIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:13 - “Dead dad couture” 3:05 - “Drawers”5:10 - English is an asshole language7:04 - The world’s greatest joke7:54 - Clothing on animals…we die.13:45 - How Carrie’s Q3 goals went19:40 - What’s ahead for Carrie in Q423:19 - Emily’s Q3/Q4 goals

NOTE: This is part 2 of our two-part series talking with Singer/Songwriter Melissa V. Cartwright. If you haven’t already, go back and listen to part 1 and then come back here for part 2.In this follow-up conversation with Melissa V. Cartwright, we continue unpacking the process of spiritual deconstruction—especially how it reshapes the way we create. We talk about what happens when the certainty we once clung to dissolves, and how grief, disorientation, and memory show up in our art. From “cry nights” and purity culture to unexpected dreams and desert metaphors, we explore the tension between old beliefs and creative freedom. Ultimately, we ask: what if not knowing is a perfectly good reason to make something?Melissa’s Bio:Singer, Songwriter, and Bilingual Voice and Performance Coach Melissa V. Cartwright is the founder of MVC Performance and the host of Passionate Performer PODCAST (in fact, Emily was a guest on her show—and we’ve the episode below). With over 25 years of experience in TV, radio, studio work, and musical theatre, she helps artists step on stage with confidence—whether it’s their very first open mic or a headlining show. Where to find Melissa:Website: www.mvcperformance.comInstagram: @mvcperformanceTikTok: @mvcperformancePassionate Performer Podcast: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTubeReferences:Emily’s episode on the Passionate Performer Podcast, aired 6/25/25“Shiny, Happy People”, Season 2: A Teenage Holy War - TV series on Amazon PrimeFaith after Doubt: What Your Beliefs Stopped Working and What to Do about It - book by Brian D. McLarenTeen Mania Ministries - a now-defunct, Evangelical Christian youth organization spreading the Western evangelical, Christian faith with charismatic youth events (Acquire the Fire) and missions trips (Global Expeditions), founded and spearheaded by Ron Luce - the primary organization highlighted in Season 2 of the Amazon Prime documentary “Shiny, Happy People: A Teenage Holy War”Saved! - 2004 American independent satirical black comedy film directed by Brian Dannelly and starring Mandy MooreFocus on the Family - an American, Evangelical organization founded in 1977 by James Dobson that primarily lobbies against LGBT and pro-choice rightsEasy A - 2010 American teen romantic comedy film directed by Will Gluck and starring Emma Stone and Amanda BynesColumbine High School massacre - school shooting and attempted bombing in Columbine, CO on April 20, 1999 that killed 13 students (including Cassie Bernal) and 1 teacherThe Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron TIMECODES0:00 - Intro1:25 - As evangelicals, how do we enjoy making things now?3:53 - Allowing ourselves to grieve10:40 - Uncertainty and the unknown13:59 - “I don’t know” breeds humility17:17 - “Compassion led me away from the church.”19:46 - What made Carrie start questioning - the Teen Mania missions trip story24:34 - Christians are mean26:56 - Aquire the Fire29:49 - “Cry Night”33:44 - Cry Night - an explanation for those who didn’t grow up weird like we did37:32 - Expendable bodies in an evangelical war machine41:11 - Numbness42:36 - Brain versus body & artists44:05 - Artists need space and freedom to create

Have you ever felt guilty for enjoying the spotlight? This week we talk with singer, songwriter, and voice coach Melissa V. Cartwright about what it means to grow up evangelical, wrestle with performance, and deconstruct the old programming that told us our art could only be “for God’s glory.” Together, we explore perfectionism, fear, and how to reclaim joy, play, and the freedom to be fully seen.Melissa’s Bio:Singer, Songwriter, and Bilingual Voice and Performance Coach Melissa V. Cartwright is the founder of MVC Performance and the host of Passionate Performer PODCAST (in fact, Emily was a guest on her show—and we’ve the episode below). With over 25 years of experience in TV, radio, studio work, and musical theatre, she helps artists step on stage with confidence—whether it’s their very first open mic or a headlining show. __________________________________________________Where to find Melissa:Website: www.mvcperformance.comInstagram: @mvcperformanceTikTok: @mvcperformancePassionate Performer Podcast: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube__________________________________________________References:Emily’s episode on the Passionate Performer Podcast, aired 6/25/25“31: How to Start Over: New Beginnings and the Power of Resilience” with Amber Mogg Cathey 05.03.24 - Honestly, Dear Listener podcast episode“53: Can We Motivate Ourselves without Kicking Our Own Butts?” with Amber Mogg Cathey 10.04.24 - Honestly, Dear Listener podcast episodeMorning Pages - from The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron Shiny, Happy People, Season 2: A Teenage Holy War - TV series on Amazon PrimeTIMECODES0:00 - Intro5:11 - Growing up in fundamentalist Christianity as performers6:38 - Melissa’s history & deconstruction14:53 - Communication & overspiritualization19:17 - “I don’t have to hate God to not buy into the bullshit”19:33 - Worship leading & our bids for connection23:18 - The weight of overspiritualization & perfectionism25:26 - Performance: for God or for you? & FEAR32:00 - Do we need constant saving?32:48 - From saving the world to play

Hey, Dear Listener,A quick heads- up before we begin: Today's episode involves the death of a parent. If you're navigating any kind of loss--whether someone is truly gone or just no longer who they were before--take care of yourself as you listen. _______________________________________________________In this episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about what happens to all the expectations we carry once the person who placed them on us is no longer here. Emily shares about the recent passing of her dad—her childhood best friend and fiercest cheerleader—and how his absence has unexpectedly reshaped her relationship to music, identity, and pressure. We explore how parents pass down not just values, but scripts—and how, in their absence, we’re sometimes left wondering who we really are. Whether you’ve lost a parent or are simply renegotiating the story you’ve been handed, we hope this episode meets you where you are._______________________________________________________References:As I Lay Dying - novel by William FaulknerTIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:38 - Creatives & Overthinking4:39 - “My dad died.”10:48 - “I’m living his dream.”12:26 - Grieving someone while they’re still alive22:48 - Expectations- “Who am I if my parents are gone?”25:55 - What Emily’s noticing about expectations/her identity now that her dad is gone30:00 - An irreverent chat about cremation40:27 - Grief

What happens when the work that once gave you life starts to feel like a cage?In this episode, we talk with designer, teacher, entrepreneur, (and Carrie’s former sewing program director) Trishawna Quincy, who shares the story of how she left a stable job she loved—one she built from the ground up—to launch her own sewing business. We talk about discerning when it’s time to pivot, how to say no without guilt, and why building a creative life you actually enjoy is worth the risk (even if it means ironing a cocktail dress when you’re broke).We cover:Navigating career transitions with intention (and spreadsheets)How to know what kind of work lights you up vs. what drains youSetting boundaries around your time and talentsWhy following joy isn’t a luxury—it’s fuel for the hard partsThe unexpected power of making videos, honoring process, and letting your students into your creative practiceWhether you’re a multi-hyphenate creative, a burned-out teacher, or just someone who’s hearing the quiet call to “jump,” this one’s for you.Learn more about Trishawna’s private sewing lessons and creative work at tikivisionstylelab.com.____________________________________________________________Where to find Trishawna:Website: www.tikivisionstylelab.comInstagram: @tikivisonstylelabTikTok: @tikivisionstylelab____________________________________________________________References:Sewing Training Academy - workforce program in Nashville, TN offered by Catholic CharitiesTIMECODES0:00 - Intro3:57 - History of the Sewing Training Program8:44 - Trishawna’s childhood history with sewing16:52 - Feeling the need for change22:41 - Fears about jumping, fear, and uncertainty28:45 - On saying “no”38:14 - Advice for new entrepreneurs 

This week, we were supposed to record an episode about a totally different topic—but then real life (and a weed whacker) happened. So instead, Carrie and Emily get honest about what it looks like when your beautiful, color-coded goal list gets trampled by end-of-school chaos, family birthdays, two pages of unchecked boxes, and a spontaneous deep-dive into Christian denominational history. (Yes, really.)We talk about:The guilt spiral of not hitting one single weekly goalWhy setting “tiny dumb goals” might be the secret to successThe trauma residue of rigid goal systems (ahem Christian school “offices”)How soft goals and flexibility can actually get us furtherADHD, motherhood, and how hard it is to prioritize play when bills are loomingIf you’ve ever set ambitious intentions only to get steamrolled by life—or if your nervous system clutches its pearls when you try to have fun—this one’s for you.Spoiler: You’re not a failure. You’re a human. And you’re probably doing great.References:85: The Tender Artist’s Goal Toolkit: Building Habits without Crushing Your Soul with Allie Moss 06.27.25 - episode of Honestly, Dear Listener podcast - aired 6/27/25Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy - book by Aundi Kolber

If you’re an artist with big dreams and a limited amount of energy (hello, real life), this episode is for you. We’re joined by singer/songwriter, vocal coach, and goals-group-organizing wizard Allie Moss to talk about how to set meaningful creative goals without falling into hustle-culture burnout.We dig into:How to tell the difference between “I don’t want to do this” vs. “I’m scared to do this”Why your inner critic needs a nap while you’re making thingsThe beauty of quantity over perfectionGentle approaches to time management, including Allie’s streaks habit app and her color-coded calendar systemThe power of community and accountability (without the shame)Whether you’re writing songs, books, or to-do lists on the back of receipts, this one’s full of practical advice for showing up to your creative life with intention—and a little grace.Where to Find Allie:Website: www.alliemoss.comCoaching Website: www.alliemosscoaching.com/Instagram: @Allie MossApple Music: Allie MossSpotify: Allie Moss TikTok: Allie MossThinking Outside the Blocks:Website: www.thinkingoutsidetheblocks.comInstagram: @thinkingoutsidetheblocksReferences:Quarterly Quests from Ali Abdaal’s free workshop - see his work hereThe 12 Week Year - book by Brian P. Moran & Michael LenningtonAtomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones - book by James ClearThe Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron Streaks - habit-forming to-do list appTIMECODES0:00 - Intro1:20 - Meet Allie Moss10:52 - How to know what you actually want (vs. what you “should” do)16:51 - Why quarterly goals work better than yearly resolutions18:41 - How to chunk down25:45 - Becoming the kind of person who does the thing (identity-based goals)29:51 - How to hush your inner editor35:19 - Calendar blocking, creative energy, and realistic planning47:34 - Accountability that doesn’t suck (and the power of community)

Money—just the word can trigger a storm of guilt, shame, confusion, or scarcity. In this episode, we crack open our complicated histories with cash: growing up with little, being raised in churches that equated poverty with holiness, and internalizing a belief that joy and money should never mix.We cover:Growing up in financial lackChurch culture’s weird relationship with money, guilt, and perceived “worth”The deeply internalize message: If you love it, you shouldn’t charge for it.How money wounds show up in creative careersThe fear of being seen as “bad” or “greedy” for charging what you’re worthReframing money as energy—not evil—and leaning into circulation, not hoardingWhether you’re a freelancer, artist, teacher, or simply someone who’s ever hesitated to name a price—this episode is for you. There’s healing in honesty. And humor. And yes, maybe even in money.References:You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth - book by Jen SinceroRich as F*ck: More Money Than You Know What to Do With - book by Amanda FrancesTIMECODES0:00 - Intro1:20 - Emily’s money origin story7:55 - Effects of growing up the way Emily did10:18 - Carrie’s money origin story20:01 - Wrong beliefs about money29:03 - Do we think people with money are bad?

Have you ever felt like everyone around you seems to have a creative identity—but you’re just… a bunch of puzzle pieces that don’t fit into any one box? Maybe you’re multi-passionate, maybe you’ve been told to “pick a lane,” or maybe you’ve spent years trying to be a Tide Pod on a shelf—marketable, palatable, and definitely not too much.In this episode, we talk about what creative authenticity actually feels like in the body, how to recognize when you’re betraying yourself, and why saying “I’ll think about it” might be the ultimate boundary-setting magic trick. And we are joined by a guest who’s lived all of it.Lizzy McAvoy is an award-winning singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and producer who traded the cornfields of Central Ohio for the creative chaos of Nashville. Her songs have been recorded by Jo Dee Messina, Home Free, The Shires (certified silver), Sondr (certified gold), and Tenille Arts—whose album featuring their collaboration “Butterfly Effect” was nominated for CCMA Album of the Year.You’ve probably heard her work on FOX, Netflix, fashion campaigns, or even a car commercial without realizing it was her. She’s also taken home honors at the Production Music Awards and the Mark Awards two years in a row—including Best Folk Production Music Track and Country/Americana Track of the Year.Where to find Lizzy:Website: www.lizzymcavoy.comInstagram: @lizzymacattackApple Music: Lizzy McAvoySpotify: Lizzy McAvoy References:Behind the Act Podcast with Seth SchaefferRead Carrie’s Substack here!TIMECODES0:00 - Intro16:42 - Meet Lizzy!21:06 - Living outside of our identity30:59 - How do we know we’re living outside of who we are?40:40 - Lizzy’s secret phrase when you can’t say no43:51 - How do we know when something is a fit?

LISTEN TO PART 1 HERE (then come back and listen to part 2)You’re vibing at an art show. Then it hits you: someone else already made the thing you wish you’d made. Suddenly, your joy nose-dives into insecurity. Welcome to the complex emotional soup of envy and jealousy—especially for creatives. In this second half of this two-part series, Emily and Carrie continue with their discussion on envy and focus specifically on Brené Brown’s definitions of resentment, admiration, reverence, schadenfreude, and freudenfreude._____________________________________________A Note from CarrieHey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie.If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi!I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals.To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching.Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this._____________________________________________References:Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience - book by Brené BrownTIMECODES0:00 - Intro0:24 - What Carrie is envious about9:12 - Resentment definition19:38 - Admiration and reverence definitions25:37 - Schadenfreude & freudenfreude

You’re vibing at an art show. Then it hits you: someone else already made the thing you wish you’d made. Suddenly, your joy nose-dives into insecurity. Welcome to the complex emotional soup of envy and jealousy—especially for creatives. In this first half this two-part series, Emily and Carrie crack open Brené Brown’s definitions, explore how envy often hides under admiration, and share personal stories about classism on airplanes, body image in middle school, and the emotional chaos of someone seeming like a better version of you. (Spoiler: it’s never actually about them.)______________________________________A Note from CarrieHey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie.If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi!I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals.To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching.Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this.______________________________________References:Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience - book by Brené BrownTIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:39 - Premium Select10:16 - Jealousy & Envy10:47 - Atlas of the Heart11:46 - Envy definition12:24 - Comparison definition13:45 - Jealousy definition21:17 - What we’re usually envious about23:19 - What Emily is envious about28:51 - Envy as Dehumanization

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about bodies—how we ignore them, how they yell at us when we do, and what it actually means to be embodied (especially for those of us who grew up thinking our bodies were the enemy). From panic attacks to protein charts, poop habits to dance breaks, we’re getting real about the messy, beautiful, annoying work of coming home to ourselves—one hard-boiled egg at a time.____________________________________________________________A Note from CarrieHey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie.If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi!I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals.To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching.Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this.____________________________________________________________References:Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle - book by Emily Nagoski & Amelia NagoskiHoly Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing - book by Hillary L. McBrideThe Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma - book by Bessel van der KolkTIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:14 - Bodies & High Control Religion™️ 10:28 - Women Ignoring their Needs (Bodily Included)13:36 - How Panic Attacks are Helpful?28:39 - How Do We Heal?31:14 - Self-Trust: THE KEY40:54 - Things We Can Do to Strengthen Our Relationship with Our Bodies

📣 Big Fat Announcement! 📣Starting Friday, April 18, Honestly, Dear Listener will be moving to a bi-weekly release schedule—that’s every other Friday instead of every single one.Why? Because as much as we love creating this podcast, we’re also navigating real human schedules, creative projects, family life, grief, growth, and all the glorious mess in between. And we’re practicing what we preach: realistic expectations, nervous system kindness, and sustainable creativity.So don’t worry—we’re not going anywhere. We’re just giving ourselves (and you) a little more breathing room. Same vibes, same chaos, slightly more spacious pacing.Mark your calendars: New episodes every other Friday starting April 18. And in the meantime, hydrate, chase your side quests, and tell perfectionist pants-face to take a nap.With love and fewer deadlines,Carrie & Emily 🎙️💕 In this episode, we cover:💥 Our Q1 goals—what we smashed (and what smashed us)🎭 Emily’s dramatic arc from “first draft” to “I quit” to “wait… cabaret?”🧠 Carrie’s ADHD brain vs. perfectionism vs. moving boxes💌 Rediscovering old chapel notes and decoding middle school crushes (Jim Carrey?!)🧩 Embracing misery, perfectionist parts, and nervous system meltdowns🧘‍♀️ Shame spirals, grief, and asking your inner critic to please just shush for a minute🛠️ Setting doable, measurable Q2 goals using a “12-week year” approach🩰 Our goals for Q2 2025✨ Why surviving might be the bravest goal of allReferences: • Ep 72: We’re All Biased. Now What? • Ep 74: We’re All Out of Energy Coins • Ep 75: Love Yourself, Asshole, and Other MysteriesThe 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months - book by Brian P. Moran and Michael LenningtonInternal Family Systems (IFS) - aka parts workTeeline Shorthand Let’s Love Teeline Together - online Teeline shorthand resource Carrie usesPiano Marvel - music piano sight-reading app Carrie usesTIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:36 - Q1 Goals Rewind31:20 - Q2 Goals Reset40:19 - A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!

Today on Honestly, Dear Listener, we are unpacking what the heck “the patriarchy” even means, how it hurts artists, and what YOU can do to dismantle it. Joining us today is Carrie’s childhood friend Rachel Darden, a working actor known not only for her talent but also for her keen observations on the state of the arts.From storytelling shackled by skewed representation to the invisibility of aging women, the patriarchy has left its mark on creativity. Today, we'll explore the need for diverse stories and authentic female portrayals in an industry often blinded by gender biases. We also discuss how the patriarchy is hurtful for men and what all genders can do to recognize and counteract the patriarchy in their art and in their own lives.Prepare to rethink what it means to be a feminine creator in a world stubbornly molded for the masculine narrative. We're unpacking it all—aging, sexism, representation, and the resilience of womanhood.Where You Can Find Rachel:TikTok - @likely_nauseatedInstagram - @likely__nauseatedReferences:“Last F*ckable Day” - Inside Amy Schumer The Mary Tyler Moore Show streaming on HuluBeing Mary Tyler Moore Documentary on MAX

We’re diving into our vault and pulling out episodes we want to make sure you don’t miss! Here’s a gem from October 2024 talking with our friend, Amber Mogg Cathey of Evolve Vocal Studio, about how we can motivate ourselves with kindness.It’s our first episode of Season 4! This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we welcome vocalist, voice coach, friend, and frequent contributor to the show Amber Mogg Cathey back to the podcast. We discuss our strategies for how to positively motivate ourselves instead of what comes naturally to us: kicking our own butts into submission. We talk about positive versus negative motivations and how effective each is at motivating us. We also discuss what it’s like being the kid who stuck out and how we felt like, in order to escape the scrutiny of others, we took our own selves down a peg or two which only ended up hurting our self-esteem.Where to Find Amber:Website: evolvevocalstudio.comInstagram: @EvolveVocalStudioYouTube:  @EvolveVocalStudio  Facebook: @EvolveVocalStudioTikTok: @EvolveVocalStudioListen to our past episode with Amber HERE!We’re diving into our vault and pulling out episodes we want to make sure you don’t miss! Here’s a gem from October 2024 talking with our friend, Amber Mogg Cathey of Evolve Vocal Studio, about how we can motivate ourselves with kindness.It’s our first episode of Season 4! This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we welcome vocalist, voice coach, friend, and frequent contributor to the show Amber Mogg Cathey back to the podcast. We discuss our strategies for how to positively motivate ourselves instead of what comes naturally to us: kicking our own butts into submission. We talk about positive versus negative motivations and how effective each is at motivating us. We also discuss what it’s like being the kid who stuck out and how we felt like, in order to escape the scrutiny of others, we took our own selves down a peg or two which only ended up hurting our self-esteem.Where to Find Amber:Website: evolvevocalstudio.comInstagram: @EvolveVocalStudioYouTube:  @EvolveVocalStudio  Facebook: @EvolveVocalStudioTikTok: @EvolveVocalStudioListen to our past episode with Amber HERE!References:The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron “51: Finding Our Creative Identity with Gemma Sugrue 09.20.24” - Honestly, Dear Listener episode Season 3, Episode 51TIMECODES:0:00 - Intro1:04 - Amber intro & WE’RE NOW IN SEASON 4!2:34 - Motivating ourselves while not kicking our own butts11:17 - Filled up with ourselves/self-centering20:42 - Toward and away motivations27:57 - Steps to catching and changing negative motivations

Ever been stuck in a tiny cubicle, staring at a fluorescent light, memorizing alternative history while yearning for human connection? Welcome to our private Christian school experience. This week, we take you back to the rigid world of goal charts, scripture memorization, and cubicle learning, where asking for help required raising tiny American and Christian flags—and asking for more wasn’t an option. But what happens when you finally unlearn that conditioning?Emily shares how she accidentally manifested a band and a gig, sparking a deep dive into the fear of wanting, why women struggle to ask for more, and how creativity thrives when we allow ourselves to receive. We also explore a big question: What if the opportunities we want were always there, but we were taught to believe we didn’t deserve them? Plus, a teaser for next week: What if your body already knows what you want, even when your brain doesn’t?Tune in for laughs, existential revelations, and a little manifestation magic as we break out of Christian cubicles and into cosmic possibilities.References:Somebody Somewhere - TV show on HBOThe Secret - book by Rhonda ByrneTIMECODES0:00 Intro0:31 - Our fundamentalist private Christian school woes13:50 - About the last two weeks…15:34 - Let’s talk about manifestation20:05 - Getting out in the world28:27 - Manifestation: where do I start?33:12 - “It’s scary to want.”35:17 - Contentment vs. satisfaction39:12 - Next stepsCheck out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.2422: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.2459: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.2464: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.2465: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24

Ever feel like the world is on fire, your creative energy is on life support, and the certainty you once clung to—faith, government, the idea that adults know what they’re doing—was all an illusion? Yeah, us too. This week, we’re getting real about the existential free-fall of realizing certainty was never actually real, the shame spiral that comes with feeling too much, and the struggle to carve out small pockets of joy without guilt. Along the way, we unpack the absurdity of self-directed cruelty (love yourself, you asshole), the tension between being informed and completely overwhelmed, and why questioning everything doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re alive. Buckle up for brutal honesty, questionable metaphors, and maybe, just maybe, a little hope.References:“Thinking Out Loud” - song by Ed SheeranTIMECODES0:00 Intro0:33 - We’re the fun ones. So why don’t I feel fun?5:23 - Invalidating our own painful feelings/feeling shame for feelings12:16 - Fundamentalist upbringing contributing to feeling shame for feelings13:087 - Uncertainty vs. uncertainty22:34 - Finding balance between wallowing and purposefully ignorant24:52 - “Love yourself, asshole!”26:18 - Access to information is a double-edged swordCheck out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.2422: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.2459: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.2464: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.2465: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24

In this week’s episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we talk about showing up in the middle of neither of us being okay. We talk about how our creative energy—heck, our energy in general—is like a coin, an “energy coin” and how we spend it on mental and emotional resources, sometimes on creativity and connection, and other times on self-criticism and fear. We discuss the struggle of self-trust, the reality of creative burnout, and the challenge of accepting that some days, we simply don’t have the coins. Along the way, we acknowledge the privilege of rest, the cost of overextending, and the importance of grace in a world that demands constant output. If you’re feeling depleted, this episode is a reminder that self-compassion is an investment worth making.TIMECODES0:00 Intro2:00 - Collectively, we’re not okay3:25 - Let’s talk about creative energy coins!5:41 - We spend our coins positively and negatively9:04 - We believe we have (or SHOULD have) unlimited coins18:01 - Buying things on credit/overdrafting/mental health!Check out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism: 21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.24 22: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.24 59: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.24 64: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.24 65: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24

Who says artists have to pick one identity and stick to it forever? Creativity is about curiosity, exploration, and—let’s be honest—trying on new looks like an unhinged fashion season. In this episode, we’re talking about reinvention—not as a brand strategy, but as an artist’s natural evolution. Your creative identity isn’t a fixed logo—it’s a closet full of possibilities. Some seasons, you’re all about red bows and high-waisted belts; next season, maybe it’s neon crocs and mismatched socks. The point? You get to change. So, let’s embrace the freedom to evolve and celebrate the endless costume changes that come with making art.References:Beyonce Wins Best Country Album at the 2025 Grammys“Love Song” by Sara BareillesLizzo Declares a New EraFollow Us on Spotify!Please Consider Giving Us 5 Stars on Apple PodcastTIMECODES:0:00 - Intro0:36 - Artists as Brands6:03 - How do we know ourselves without having experimented with ourselves?7:40 - Artist’s have to have freedom8:02 - Reinvention as fashion seasons20:41 - Art is playing dress-upCheck out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.2422: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.2459: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.2464: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.2465: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24

In this episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we dive into the uncomfortable but necessary conversation about bias—the ones we know we have and the ones we don’t always notice. Carrie shares a personal story about confronting her own snap judgments in a dive bar, and we explore how biases show up in politics, social media, and everyday interactions. No matter what side of the aisle we’re on, at the core, most of us want the same things—we just disagree on how to get there. So how do we recognize when we’re dehumanizing others? How can we create space for grace, empathy, and self-awareness? Let’s talk about it.

In this episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we sit down with Olivia K of Olivia K & the Parkers of Brooklyn, NY, to explore the power of art as resistance. We discuss how artists can be activists by using their craft as an act of rebellion and inclusion, carving out their place in the movement toward equality. Olivia shares insights on balancing artistic passion with self-care, reminding us that burnout helps no one. True, sustainable activism starts with taking care of our mental and phy...

Today on Honestly, Dear Listener, we dive into a candid performance story from Emily’s gig at a renowned bar where she faced two stage disasters but managed to turn it around with a fresh mindset. Plus, Emily shares why you should always irrigate your sinuses with distilled water. Tune in for the this week's chat about performance, health, and the art of consistency—even when things don’t go as planned.References:GO SEE EMILY PERFORM LIVE! GET TICKETS HERE!The Bitter End - classic New York Ci...

In this episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we dive into the magic of creative collaboration and how making art with others can be an act of rebellion and resistance. With over 30 years of creating together, we share insights on what makes a great artistic partnership: trust, filling in each other’s gaps, and finding that creative flow. This week, we filmed a music video to Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic,” complete with middle school choreography—a joyful reclaiming of the secular music we wer...

In this episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about the magic of making time for ourselves and how vital it is to nurture that connection. From our evangelical days of “doing devotions” to discovering sacredness in meditation, mindfulness, and even tarot, we reflect on how these practices—though seemingly worlds apart—both invite us to pause and connect with something deeper. Carrie shares about a recent therapy mishap involving jammies, donuts, and an accidental business m...

This week on the podcast, we're getting specific about what we’re creating. Every quarter, we want to do update episodes like this to revisit what we’ve made in the past three months (what worked, what didn’t, and to celebrate our forward movement) and also to set goals for what we want to accomplish in the next quarter. So today, we’re talking about Quarter 4 of 2024 (the “rewind” part) and Quarter 1 of 2025 (the “reset” part). We hope you’ll follow along with and do your own Rewind and Rese...

Happy New Year, dearest and darlingest Listener!This week on the podcast, we're talking about the difference between New Year's resolutions versus intentions. We're also talking about Emily's intentions and how we can expect the resistance (aka: embracing the suckage). We're also talking about how we can set realistic expectations for ourselves, how to stop overthinking and start doing, and how we can afford to let ourselves get a little weirder in the coming new year. Let's let the magic int...

TW: This episode contains talk about mental health struggles, religious trauma, and sexual abuse. Also, we are not mental health professionals; everything in this series is OUR experiences and opinions. Please consult your doctor.Note: This is part one in a two-part series on mental health. If you haven’t listened to part 1, you can do that here.This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about a subject near and dear to our hearts, brains, and nervous systems: mental health. We dive ...

TW: This episode contains talk about mental health struggles, religious trauma, and sexual abuse. Note: This is part one in a two-part series on mental health.This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about a subject near and dear to our hearts, brains, and nervous systems: mental health. We dive into how growing up in a fundamentalist Christian environment often left us more confused than comforted, exacerbating anxiety and leaving little room for honest conversations about mental ...

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we once again welcome Denver-based Saxophonist, Artist, and Educator Sarah Mount of Sarah Mount and the Rushmores to the podcast. We discuss something people don’t talk about enough: perimenopause. Did you know perimenopause can start ten years before a woman’s body starts menopause? We’re talking mid-30s, people, or even earlier! And when the hormones start shifting, it can throw so many things off-kilter.We share a candid discussion with Sarah Mount abo...

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about the ways we put up barriers to our own creativity. We often have a creative idea but judge it too early, essentially killing it before it’s had time to marinate. We also discuss the difference between bragging and sharing our joys with others.References:Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience - book by Brené BrownThe Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Camero...

This is part 2 in our series on purity culture. If you listened to part 1, go back and listen to part 1 and then come back here! Trigger Warning! We’re talking about sexual trauma as a result of religious abuse and purity culture. If that sounds like too much, feel free to skip this episode. Take care of yourself, Dear Listener. This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re returning for the second and final part of our two-part series on purity culture. We’ll finally talk about Joshua Harris’ ...

Trigger Warning! We’re talking about sexual trauma as a result of religious abuse and purity culture. If that sounds like too much, feel free to skip this episode. Take care of yourself, Dear Listener. This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about how we grew up and, in particular, the real downer we’ve come to know as purity culture. As so many listeners were, we were raised in Evangelical Christian fundamentalism which valued a women’s sexual purity above all else. As a result, ...

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re circling back around to how the way we were raised (in fundamentalist, Evangelical, Pentecostal Christians) has influenced the way we create now. We also dive into how the beliefs we inherited when we were kids continues to contribute to our mental health struggles. On a lighter note, we also discuss the holes in our pop music upbringing, exploring what the rules were for what kind of music we were allowed and not allowed to listen to. We also ...

Note: We recorded this episode the day after Election Day 2024, and we gave it all we had--which wasn't much. We feel empathy and compassion didn't win this time, but we're not giving up hope. We talk about where we're going from here, what we plan on doing, and what we're going to be pushing into even more now. Please take care of yourselves and be kind. Hope is not lost, Dear Listener. Hosts: Emily Hatch and Carrie Schaeffer Instagram: @honestlydearlistener Youtube: youtube.com/@honestlyde...

🎃 This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we're getting scary. REAL scary. 🎃 We discuss what scares us most about the entire creative process and how we're actually more scared of success than of failure. We dive into the fears and insecurities that plague us and other artists, the daunting process of starting new personal projects, not resting on our laurels, and the long road to creative success. Carrie also reads her creepy new short story, "The Inheritance." Happy Halloween, Dear Listene...

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we discuss validation--what it is and whether we need it or not. We also compare and contrast validation with encouragement. All this and more after a discussion about how Emily should have been a hand model!References:The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron Opal appTIMECODES0:00 - Intro0:29 - Emily shoulda been a hand model4:06 - Discussing beautiful products6:18 - Validation - do we need it?7:23 - Definitions ...

Welcome back to Honestly, Dear Listener! In today’s episode, we discuss Week 7 of Julia Cameron’s classic The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity. We talk specifically about how accessing our creativity is like letting ourselves fall down the well to join the river of inspiration underneath our everyday lives. Often, creating can feel like we’re straining to make something happen. Instead, we posit it can actually be a lot easier than that: unleashing or letting ourselves get ...

Welcome back to Honestly, Dear Listener! In today's episode, we dive into the tantalizing prospect of sudden wealth, its complex implications, and how it would change our lives as creators. Emily shares her dream expenditures, from hiring personal trainers to collaborating with top-tier scenic designers, all while navigating the high costs of New York living. Carrie, on the other hand, advocates for a more conservative investment strategy following advice from a financial planner. But does mo...

It’s our first episode of Season 4! This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we welcome vocalist, voice coach, friend, and frequent contributor to the show Amber Mogg Cathey back to the podcast. We discuss our strategies for how to positively motivate ourselves instead of what comes naturally to us: kicking our own butts into submission. We talk about positive versus negative motivations and how effective each is at motivating us. We also discuss what it’s like being the kid who stuck out ...

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we face one of the hardest weeks for our creative practice: an entire week of NO NUMBING OUT. Inspired by Week 4 of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, we said no to reading (yes—reading), audiobooks and podcasts, social media, TV, and anything else that we do to fill the silence around us. In this episode, we relay how this silence has changed or hasn’t changed our artistic practice and what we’re taking with us as we transition back after this week. Ref...

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking to our friend Gemma Sugrue about how to find our creative identity. Gemma is a vocal coach and performer turned business coach. She has worked with the likes of Bon Iver and Damien Rice and has built several successful social media platforms including a Tiktok with a following of 450K and YouTube with 170K subscribers. Through our conversation, Gemma narrows down on what we need to know in order to figure out who we are creatively incl...

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re delving into the concept of Shadow Artists. In her bestselling book on creativity, The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron introduces the “Shadow Artist,” someone who is deeply connected to the arts but isn’t fully expressing their own creative potential. She goes on to describe Shadow Artists as individuals who are often attracted to creative fields but remain on the sidelines, assisting or supporting other artists rather than pursuing their own creative e...

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about time traveling back to parts of our wounded childhood selves. We talk about how behind every traumatic event in our lives, we form a belief about that thing, and often, these unhelpful beliefs keep us stuck. We discuss pulling up those (often unconscious) beliefs, examining them, and walking our childhood selves through the trauma, with the knowledge, wisdom, gentleness, and support of our older selves. While revisiting these memories,...

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re harkening back, back to when we were wee ones; what did we need back then but didn’t have? We discuss how Emily stumbled upon a quote: "I think we become whoever would have saved our younger self." We talk about how we are becoming who we needed and how we can re-parent our inner children with love and kindness. We also discuss idealism, Christian fundamentalism and how it still affects our creativity, and penises. References: Listen to Par...

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about living a centered life that is rooted in the present. Carrie shares how she feels she is constantly being pushed forward by the past (or the left side) of the frame AKA time of an autoscroll Mario video game, and Emily feels she is ever pushing forward wanting to go faster into the future (or the right side) of the frame. Both the past and future mindsets make us feel like we’re lazy, and this brings our self confidence and self concepts down. We talk about tips and tricks to help us live in the center—in the NOW. References:Listen to Part 1 and Part 2 of “How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create” (episodes 21 and 22) of the Honestly, Dear Listener podcast “Sleeping My Life Away or Mario on Autoscroll” - Substack essay by Carrie Schaeffer (Carrie’s Substack account here —>carrieschaeffer.substack.com)Next Level: Your Guide to Kicking Ass, Feeling Great, and Crushing Goals Through Menopause and Beyond - book by Stacy T. SimsThe War of Art - book by Steven PressfieldThe Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking to Sydney Parks Smith, Producing Artistic Director of OpenStage Theatre in Fort Collins, Colorado on how we know when it’s time to walk away. Sydney has always acted on stage, and in 2019, she stepped into her dream role as Producing Artistic Director of OpenStage. But when happens when your dream isn’t what you really wanted? Sydney shares her personal and professional challenges, including fears of aging out as an actor, her transiti...

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about trying new things even when we feel stupid or vulnerable. Just the thought of looking foolish makes most of us squirm. It’s easy to keep at doing the same things we know we’re good at and pass up all the things we fear we could be “bad” at. However, learning new things is good for us—and especially for our brains. Join us as we discuss recent times we’ve tried new things…and felt dumb—but REFUSED to let fear keep us from doing the thin...