I Suck (at Smalltalk)

I confess.🫣I haven’t been sharing my articles with you lately. 😅 I’ve been feeling shy about popping into your inbox, worried my updates might be boring. 😆 What a drama queen!!! 😂I’ve been writing, though! A LOT. I’m officially a writer now. (NOW?! Yep. Now lang.) Honestly, it’s the first time I’m really seeing myself as a writer. Even though my CV has: copywriter, speechwriter, ghostwriter… Now’s the first time I have the nerve to call myself a writer. (Imposter Syndrome is my bestie.) I’ve always dreamed of starting a travel blog.✈️In facttt, I did once: https://findingmyjaninay.wordpress.com/But now, I probably never will…… Because I’m way too busy contributing awesome food and culture articles to Devour Tours! Woot woot! 🎉 It’s the same company I do these pintxos tours for. Here’s a taste of what I’ve been working on:* Semana Grande: The grand festival that we just celebrated last week.* Euskal Jaiak: The fiesta we’re celebrating next week. (It’s summer, ok? Give us a break! Haha!)* Spanish Piquillo Peppers: Everything you need to know.* Denominación de Origen Seal: This one isn’t posted yet!I’m an actual paid freelance travel writer now. WHAT?! 🙌 And while it does mean less time for my own travel articles, it’s a dream come true.A Freelance UX and SEO Writer 🤓I also have other UX and SEO website writing projects for tech brands. So if you know anyone needing a strategic writer, my hand is up! 🙋‍♀️Jumping into the freelance life was a reluctant leap. I started as a burnt out community cheerleader. Buttt, things are looking up! Projects are coming in from past colleagues, and I haven’t even started actively selling myself yet.😮‍💨 It feels good, even though I have my freak-out moments.Your Prize for Reading This FarThank you for sticking with me through this update. Here’s your reward: I’m heading to Manila! 🇵🇭 Are you readyyy (for karaokeee)?I’ll be there in October and might stick around until December. So let’s meet up! I’m planning to spend more time outside Manila, though, in quieter spots like Baguio and Taal. Big cities scare me now (lol), so if you’re up for a visit, I’d love to see you.♥️Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support Janine’s work.DayummmI’ve officially had this blog for over a year. Dayummm. Thanks for being here, still. It has been quite a year for me and this has been a healthy outlet. I appreciate you and your support.😘👀 Here’s one of the articles I wrote here in secret: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Writing about these life adventures on the eve of Mikel’s birthday. Fitting! He’s a big source of motivation to move my ass and make memories. We only live once. He turns 36 this Monday, July 22.💕My First Van AdventureEven before the surf-obsessed Basque stranger I met in Siargao invited me to go on a trip on his van, I was already eyeing the tiny house movement. My interest in small-space living began during a three-month stint in Tokyo, where I lived in a shoebox of about sixteen square meters. My bathroom was so tiny that I had one shared faucet—swing left to use it for the sink or right to fill the bathtub.😅The Japanese are masters at maximizing limited space, and I loved exploring stores (like the huge Muji in Ginza!) to amuse myself with adorable space-saving household items. Kawaii!Tiny Homes and DreamsEven after Japan, I would binge-watch shows like Tiny House Nation, where talented builders crafted small homes and dual-purpose furniture. I would also watch Marie Kondo’s Tidying Up, which inspired me to let go of anything that doesn’t spark joy and to defeat the hoarder within.👹So when Mikel sent me a video of him renovating an old vegetable delivery van and inviting me to go on a road trip through Northern Spain, I felt a mix of curiosity and WTF.😆Rollin’ into CantabriaAfter stuffing myself with amazing San Sebastian grub and going on a day trip along the French coast, Mikel (and his limited vacation days) decided it was time for our first “van life” adventure together.Our first stop was Cantabria, a province about an hour and a half away. Mikel has friends who own the cleanest, coziest hostel and surf school in Langre, who graciously allowed us to use their toilet and shower.😬 (Thank goodness!)Sleeping in the van turned out to be quite comfortable. I even got used to brushing my teeth without running water.🦷 We were constantly surrounded by fields, cows, and stunning sea views.Living in the van requires efficiency, even when you’re traveling for just a few days. Everything has its place. Cooking has to be quick and mess-free. And it’s a must to find a flat parking spot when it’s time to sleep. You’ll feel the discomfort even with the smallest incline!I discovered a brand new way to explore the world. And I liked it.😊Language Barriers and Alone TimeThe language barrier was a challenge. Mikel spoke some English, but not fluidly, and my Spanish was muy, muyyy poquito. I’d space out and get lost in my own thoughts when having lunch with friends.It might have been what I needed: alone time in an uncomplicated alien world to process my thoughts and recharge. I was still recovering from the heartbreaking loss of our political campaign for Bam Aquino. The solitude allowed me to disconnect and reflect on past, present, and future.Do I go back home and accept a great job offer? Or do I step out of my comfort zone and try to make it in the big, wide world? The decision can wait.I can chill and explore Asturias first.After a few days in Cantabria, Mikel decided to cut his surf time short and head to Asturias. He was thoughtful enough to realize that 5 days in a van + going back and forth the same surf spots + rainy weather ≠ the best way to spend my vacation…Off to explore Asturias! We visited the romantic city of Oviedo, which was featured in the movie "Vicky Cristina Barcelona".😜Driving down the Asturian highway, I kept seeing signs to Covadonga, a place I heard a whole lot about in my high school. (If you’re a Povedan like me, you know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!) I told Mikel about it and he immediately swerved to catch the exit. To this day, I appreciate how open he is to spontaneous travel stops that take us wayyy too far off our calculated route.🤣We miss van trips.We went on countless more van trips. We hiked up and rolled down Dune du Pilat. We sipped fancy wine by the forest and played cards with headlamps on. We escaped to beaches and prayed for the closest bar to open so we could go to the toilet…🤣Our longest van trip was 10 days, driving all the way to Portugal then dotting through the coast up to Galicia, where we dipped into hot springs and dined in one of the most affordable Michelin starred restaurants in Europe.The one I look back on with the most cariño was the Pyrenees.❤️ I think it’s ‘cause it was the trip with the most number of friends joining in the fun, the barbecues, the hikes, the views (and maybe even some shrooms).The Road AheadThe disconnection from modern comforts, sleeping in nature, and exploring off-the-beaten-path locations are just a few lines from the long list of things I love about escaping in a mobile home. I don’t at all regret swapping it for a car. But the sea breeze says it’s time for a change once again. Mikel has begun the search and shitload of YouTube research to find the perfect van for the next phase.I’m so excited!Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support Janine’s writing. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

So… After writing this article, I watched a documentary on child labor in Philippine gold mining. It put things in perspective and my problems now feel so puny. If you can, please take the time to watch it. 💕Public speaking has always been a gut-twisting source of cringe. Around strangers, self-consciousness and the pressure to sound articulate bubble up to a boil then leave me and my nerves in shambles.The aftereffects include a wealth of new “why’d I say that” memories that make me go “D’oh!” at random times—while washing dishes, crossing the street, drinking with friends…😖“D’oh! Why’d I say thaaat?!”It’s why I started the podcast I Suck at Smalltalk. It's also one of the darker reasons for turning to writing, which serves as a comfort zone because it allows me the time to find the perfect words.Strangely enough, I’m less self-conscious speaking broken Spanish than fluent English. Not being a native Spanish speaker is the perfect excuse for my lack of eloquence—a card I can’t pull in English. I'm a writer, for crying out loud!😩ICYDK, the two official languages of the Philippines are Filipino and English.Shutting Down My Inner Critic“Just shut up, Janine.”This ultra-annoying and mababaw (meaning shallow) rant about my long and winding public speaking struggle is brought to you by my recent new side hustle: being a legitimate tour guide in San Sebastian. (I've only completed 2.5 official tours for an agency and I’ve already spiraled into self-loathing. WTF?!)My first tour solo was a tough one. Everything seemed to go wrong, from bars closing at odd times to my brain short-circuiting. I regretted words as soon as they spilled out of my mouth. Geez!I’m getting flashbacks of the tour followed by awkward moments as a Myx VJ and events host.🤪 Time to whack myself with the cringe-stick!I also remember working in sales, interviewing and pitching to executives. And the time I had to take the microphone in a radio show with former senator Bam Aquino because his usual co-host was out… My goodness!There are too many embarrassing public speaking moments haunting me from my memory bank. 👻 Social anxiety is real. 😮‍💨I cling ever-so-tightly to the kind words of those who believe in me and see my potential. 🥰 Eskerrikasko to Tita Bettina and Tito Jojo, who cheered for my touring skills when they came to Donostia to get hitched. Gracias to former boss-man Bobby and his lively expat crew who braved the rain to pintxo-hop around the Old Town with me. Special thanks to Osane from Devour Tours for taking a chance on this wannabe-extrovert…I will also cling on to my day job as a content writer. Ha!😅So what kung barok?!Barok. It's a Filipino word that means "broken" or "unrefined" in the context of speaking. Basically, it's speaking with grammatical errors. 🙊 It doesn’t just describe a sentence, but a person.Not just: “You speak barok-ly.”But: “You are barok.”I've been guilty of judging people based on how they speak and write, which is probably why I punish myself for every grammatical error.But learning a new language has taught me that the manner and form in which someone speaks (grammar, accent, words chosen, etc.) should come a distant second to the ideas they're communicating.There have been companies, teams, and amazing people that have looked passed my lack of eloquence, even my barok-ness, to see the value of my ideas and stories. Why shouldn’t I do the same?Not to say that I’ll stop trying to perfectly shape a message for its audience. It’s what I do; and it’s important work!But in my day-to-day conversations, I hope to consciously look past the manner in which people speak and seek to understand what they are trying to relay. And if you ever think I'm not following through, I'd appreciate you kindly calling me out on it. 🤗 Keep me accountable!Embracing ImperfectionismI didn't realize how many thoughts I had about writing and the struggle to find the perfect words. 👈 That perfectionism has become a debilitating barrier to me putting myself out there. I tend to hide away when I feel like I’m not at my best.But perfectionism can hold us back from evolution. So it’s something I should work on. There are too many amazing stories that need to be told and smile-inducing ideas to share! So here I am kickstarting this blog again. Thanks for your patience, support, subscription, attention, and acceptance of my imperfections.❤️Whew! Developing a growth mindset is far easier said than done.🌻Other Random Updates* I’ve been freelancing since February this year. Currently working with a few clients and my agenda is full (Yay!), but if you know anyone needing a content writer, connect me puh-lease.🙏* Wrote two articles that I didn’t email to you ‘coz I’ve been in my lonesome cave for the past months (reach out with virtual hugs please kthxbye). Will leave a link below!* Recorded some new short eps for I Suck At Smalltalk, but I’ve no time to upload ‘em! If you haven’t seen or heard these ones yet, I’d appreciate your listen!👇👇👇Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support Janine’s work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

I was chatting with my mom and sister about memory loss and fears of dementia. The World Health Organization says there are over 55 million people worldwide with dementia. My heart goes out to families that witness their loved one suffer through it. I understand the concern to finding a cure or, at least, ways to mitigate its effects.As if the universe was eavesdropping (It was most likely just the internet?👻), a new podcast episode of The Diary of a CEO by Steven Bartlett featured a neuroscientist talking about BRAIN HEALTH!🧠Thanks for reading Janine Ramirez! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.Since my mom wouldn’t sit through 1.5 hours of brainy banter, I’m summing up the key points here. Haha!🤓Listen to This! 🎧Before I spill the beans, I recommend listening to the full podcast. The insights and stories shared by the Dr. Wendy Suzuki are life-changing.💛Dr. Wendy is a Professor of Neural Science and Psychology at New York University. With her father having suffered from dementia, her research is deeply personal. She’s known for her groundbreaking work on brain plasticity, studying how our brain forms and retains new memories. Recently, she’s been focusing on how aerobic exercise boosts learning, memory, and cognitive abilities.How to Keep Your Brain Healthy1. Go out and ‘Move It - Move It’! 🕺💃Dr. Wendy highlights a study showing that people over 65 who take three or more walks a week reduce their dementia risk by 30%. For the younger crowd, staying active now keeps your brain sharp for longer.I’ll admit it—I groannnnn at exercise 😓, but a sedentary life is a no-no for your brain. Every move you make is like “a bubble bath for your brain”, helping it (literally!) grow and thrive.So, let’s get moving—even if it’s just 3 walks a week. Mom, it’s time to find a dance class and dust off those dancing shoes!😍 Movement equals better decisions, attention, focus, and working memory.What’s the best exercise?Anything that gets your heart pumping, also called aerobic exercise.How often?As much as you can, but even 2-3 times a week will bring benefits.2. Snooze Your Way to Brain Health 🛌Another neuroscientist I listened to is obsessed with sleep. Why? Because quality sleep strengthens daily memories through a process called "consolidation."While we sleep is also when the garbage truck comes to clear our brain of the waste and gunk accumulated throughout the day!Sad news! 😞 Alcohol messes with your sleep, preventing deep rest. It ain’t good for us. Those studies saying alcohol in moderation—like wine!—can be healthy are outdated and wrong. 😢 DAMMIT!3. Eat Produce, Not Processed Junk 🥗Dr. Wendy recommends the Mediterranean diet: colorful, fresh produce is the way to go! Which reminds me, I have to make our salad for lunch! WAHMikel and I are lucky we both don’t mind eating this salad almost every day. I also feel lucky to have fresh (summer) fruits that I enjoy eating here like… peaches and cherries! 🍑🍒 I used to not like peaches and cherries ‘cause all I knew were canned peaches and maraschino cherries. 😢Real Friendships Matter 👫I feel like a broken record 🔂 because I try to mention this as often as I can in conversations… Real-life quality time with people is vital for brain health, longevity, and happiness. Social media isn’t enough! Don’t let it steal time from real-world interactions.📵It’s so hard, though!!! I still haven’t gone on my digital detox, and it looks like my screen time has increased these past months. 😢 I need a hug!Memory: Making Things StickHow's your memory? While listening to the conversation, I could so relate to Steven Bartlett's frustration about forgetting names. They seem to disappear right after introductions. 😳 I'm amazed by people who remember names, dates, events… Like my mom! 💕Dr. Wendy suggests that Steven's memory for stories might be stronger, and I hope that’s the case for me, too. 😆 While I may not be great with names and dates, I seem to have a knack for remembering stories and key points—after all, I’m able to recall this episode well enough to write it out for you here.😜Top 4 Memory Boosters* Repetition: Hello, propaganda and historical revisionism. 😩* Association: Have you heard of the Memory Palace technique?* Novelty: New experiences stick because evolution taught us new things could be dangerous.* Emotional Resonance: Intense feelings lock in memories.Our Frenemy named AnxietyDr. Wendy has also written a book about anxiety and they discuss the topic a bit toward the end of the conversation. Apparently, humanity is more anxious than ever. Big surprise!😝But anxiety had an evolutionary purpose, helping our ancestors stay vigilant and survive in a world full of dangers. A sudden rustle in the bushes could mean the difference between life and death. Those who were more alert and anxious were better at recognizing threats and reacting quickly to them.While we no longer have to worry about saber-toothed tigers, our brains still retain this ancient survival mechanism, manifesting as anxiety in today’s safer, but still challenging and taxing, world.Guess what helps? Taking deep breaths. Also, movement! Just 10 minutes of walking can reduce the anxiety you feel.🤯 (Winner pala talaga ‘tong si exercise… Hassle! 🤭)Time to do a bit of yoga. 😅Ok, that's it! I think I'll do some yoga now. I actually listened to this episode while walking in Mount Ulia, and it did make me feel better. 💙 At least until I had corned beef for lunch and suffered a terrible food coma. Tsk tsk! 😬 Hence today’s salad!!! 🤣In case you want to dive into the neuroscience blackhole…I’ll leave you with some more videos I like from Dr. Wendy and another neuroscientist—Dr. Tara Stewart.How to Calm Your Anxiety:The brain-changing benefits of exercise:Dr. Tara Stewart: Stress Leaks Through Skin, Is Contagious & Gives You Belly Fat!If you listened to any of these, let me know.❤️ We can geek out about neuroplasticity together!🤓 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Scroll to the end of the article for Tips to Support Someone in Grief.Aprovechar: to make the most of.That's the verb I'd use to describe my six-month unemployment phase. I dove into a whirlwind of courses, volunteered for various events and organizations, and met countless inspiring individuals. It was a period of intense learning and personal growth, and though it left me a bit spent, I'm incredibly grateful for the experience.I have a conversation with Esther for the podcast; recorded when I was in the throes of job interviews and copy tests. I'll post that soon so you get some insight into the new job I'm starting on Monday. But editing may have to wait!😮‍💨Pausing projects.Proud of the ten episodes of the podcast. Eleven if you count this quick roundup of me speaking solo. (Click here for Spotify!)TBH, I’m caught between the excitement of new beginnings and the weight of creative projects awaiting my attention. With 35 article ideas neatly penned on my Notion and countless more brewing in my brain, I feel the need to lock myself with my laptop in a cave—ideally with WIFI, sockets, and coffee.Balancing these aspirations with the demands of a full-time job will be a big challenge. Poco a poco, little by little, I'll learn to navigate this new chapter.I hoped this week would give me time to tackle everything I wanted to accomplish before diving into my new role. Also wanted to celebrate with the people I’ve met and everyone I ranted my worries to! But the universe had other plans.Sad newsA good friend of Mikel's tragically passed away this Sunday, and we are all shaken. If you have any rituals, prayers, or meditations, please keep him in your thoughts.His name is Jaime.♥️ He was one of the first people I ever met here. He always tried to make everyone feel comfortable and cared for. Always spreading good vibes.I can't imagine the pain his loved ones are going through. I'm just trying to be there for them without getting in the way. Know what I mean?I reached out to a friend and amazing human being who works with people, particularly kids, to develop emotional intelligence. I wanted to get expert advice on how to support people grieving. I’ll share Deiene’s tips in case you ever need them too.How to Support Someone in Grief* Be present and listen.* Loneliness can be tough. Some may need to talk, while others prefer silence. Respect each person's needs.* Acknowledge that you may not understand their pain fully. Let them know you're there to listen and support them, even if you're unsure how.* Offer practical help with tasks like groceries, paperwork, making meals.* If you reach out and they don't respond, assure them they don't need to reply, but continue to show your presence and support.Grief is a personal journey, and everyone experiences it differently. It's important to respect each person's process and offer support in whatever way they need.Avoid These Missteps When Supporting Someone in Grief* Don't impose expectations on their behavior.* Don't shy away from their tears or silence.* Avoid making the situation about yourself.* Refrain from imposing your own methods of coping with grief.* Avoid assuming their beliefs or religion.Gotta channel that empathy and kindness when we're comforting someone who's grieving. Gotta be comfortable being uncomfortable.I wonder… What's helped you through tough times?❤️ On the contrary, what words or actions have been a total flop?😤Hay buhay. (*Sigh* life.)After a period of worry and self-doubt, this tragedy was a wake-up call. It reminded me that the things we stress over aren't always as big as they seem.Give your special peeps an extra tight squeeze today. Sending love your way. There are folks I've been missing like crazy, and I'll be carving out more quality time with them. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Hello, lovely person! This is Janine Ramirez, reluctant creator of the 'I Suck at Smalltalk' podcast.Ten episodes in, and it's already been so fulfilling.The biggest lesson I've learned in this podcast journey is that… I don't actually suck at small talk. Or at least I don’t anymore! Haha!Seriously though, I am so grateful to the friends that agreed to be interviewed by me, who fought the cringe of listening to their own voice, and who trusted me to post our insightful conversations on the world wide web.I’m also so grateful to everyone that listened, that messaged me saying they enjoyed it or learned something. Being one that constantly doubts myself, every message is like a surge of motivation. THANK YOU!Top 3 Lessons from my first 10 EpisodesI wanted to take a bit of time to send you my thanks but to also digest and process my first 10.😊Since I’m all about learning and growth, I wanted to share my top 3 lessons from my first set of conversations!Lesson 1: We all suck at somethingWe all suck at something. And you know what? That's perfectly okay. Understanding our weaknesses is the first step to improving them.There’s all this talk about Imposter Syndrome being the start of your growth journey. Every time self-doubt or criticism pops us, I try to use it to my advantage. It ain’t easy but the idea is there and I’m working on it!Lesson 2: We're all in a process of growth. Always.I love the idea of the growth mindset!!! Shifting from “I’m not good at this.” to “I’m not good at this YET.” Plus, neuroscience says that our brains and our selves can continue growing and improving even in our old age so… No excuses! Have you heard of the champion swimmer Mighty Mo, Maurine Kornfeld, who started swimming at SIXTY-FIVE? No excuses, people! Let’s get growing!!!And finally, lesson three: Dig into your connections with curiosity.Real, genuine human connection, social connection is KEY to a happy and fulfilled life. So reconnect with friends and connect with not-so-strangers. LISTEN. Really listen. Ask them about their lives, their passions, and get into the beautiful details of their stories! You'll be amazed at the treasures you uncover.That’s it!Lesson 1: We all suck at somethingLesson 2: We’re all in a process of growth. Always.Lesson 3: Dig into your connections with curiosity.Celebration and ThanksAgain, a massive shoutout and gratitude to all the incredible guests who shared their stories and life lessons.Thank YOU for listening. I appreciate your time!!!If you haven't already, hit the subscribe button on Spotify or head over to my Substack where I write and speak about life and career lessons.Thank you for being part of this. Here's to more meaningful conversations. Until next time! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

"Te sientes como humano otra vez?" (Do you feel like a human again?)My friend's question echoed in my head after emerging from a much-needed shower. I had spent the past 24 hours shuffling from couch to toilet, courtesy of a vicious stomach flu.Worst of all, I wasn't at home; I was crashing at a friend's place in Barcelona for what was supposed to be a fun weekend getaway. Argh! Here I thought my pinoy-trained-tummy-of-steel would shield me from the creeping virus.Twenty-four hours, three bananas, and countless chugs of water later (Oh, and the hot shower!), I did feel human again. The bad juju was purged. Gaudi and ceramic painting brought in creative energy. And quality time with amazing, kind-hearted folks gave me the positivity I needed to get through a crammed agenda.January was jamfreakinpacked. (It was JAMMEDuary.😆 Tududugtug-tshhh!🤡)With the start of February, I find myself needing to trim down my agenda and focus on what truly adds value to my days:* Dedicating 5 hours a week in exchange for co-working privileges at ImpactHub* Volunteering for Alboan; helping improve their newsletter to donors* My Saturday psychology course on self-esteem and confidence* This blog* And the new job! Woot! I’m in the negotiation phase.🤞🏻 This coming week is critical.All of the above are keepers. My podcast is a question mark. And this new online marketing course with its abysmal UX design? I wish I could chuck it out the window.😩Let’s go, Universe! I’m ready to flow and make it work.There’s no time to waste, people. Let’s get living! Just wanted to say a quick hey.🤗Heyyy! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

I almost fell into the garbage container.🤪 I swung my big bag of basura, slipped on the sidewalk, and almost dove in. Funny. 'Coz I've been feeling like garbage lately.😬Ring the shame bell.I couldn't quite put my finger on what was dragging me down over the New Year celebration. I choked it up to being professionally lost.Then during my short psychology course on self-awareness and self-esteem, The word stared at me from the whiteboard: vergüenza. SHAME.I was ashamed of not finding a job yet.Woosah. I’m also ashamed of not getting enough exercise but that’s an ant bite compared to the shark attack of my unemployment!📹☝🏻️I already shared this video on Instagram but it’s worth repeating here. We watched it in class and was the reason for 2 out of 4 times I held back tears. I’m such a sap!😆There are things we do in life and for ourselves that we will never get paid for. That does not mean they do not have value. They are not distractions. They help you build you.Get out of your head.“¿Conoces el circulo de preocupaciones?” (Do you know the circle of concern?)My profesora, a lovely psychologist named Berta, showed us the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence. When stressed out or overwhelmed, focus on what’s within your control.Also, DO something. DON’T get stuck in your head. To create change, out in the world or even within ourselves, actions matter. Not to mention, they are easier to control.So, do something. Go for a walk, cook, bake, play a sport or a board game, go to an event, meet someone, watch a movie. Escape getting tangled in your thoughts. (I say this out loud because I need to hear it often. Analysis-Paralysis is a close friend of mine!)Connect forealzThe silver lining in my challenging moments has been the genuine connections with incredible people. Just thinking about the heart-warming moments warms my heart. Anudaw?!🤣Afaf gave me a small pasalubong from Egypt that I now wear almost daily. Martha (con H!) gave me an olive branch to show how she values our friendship and even lent me her crystals to manifest my vision to reality. Maddi keeps me motivated and productive as we tick off our to-do lists together in random cafes and co-working spots...Real connections and deep conversations can be lifelines during tough timesHelp. Share. Smile.Even if it’s just brightening up a stranger’s day!The day I almost fell into the garbage, I gleefully held the door open for a neighbor, small-talked with the lady at the panaderia, and tried to cheer people up with a big smile, compliments, and my kengkoy-ness. Guess who felt better after? Me.😅 (Heyyy I hope they did, too!😜)Did you know that giving compliments uplifts both the giver and the receiver? Take that to heart and sprinkle compliments like confetti!There is no shame in taking the time to figure things out, work on yourself, and grow.When I really think about it, I’ve made great use of my Q4. I’ve never written so much in my life! For me. KABOOM.💥There are things we do in life and for ourselves that we will never get paid for. That does not mean they do not have value. They are not distractions. They help you build you.I end this article with my head held high. And a big smile. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

🎶 Chestnuts roasting by the corner stand. The scent of churros & choco finds my nose.🎵 Yuletide carols and lights never tire. And folks non-stop shopping by the riooo…🎶 I'm rhyming it with the song.😅 Haha!I do enjoy Christmas feels! As long as it's without Manila traffic and all the rush.😜 Frosty Donostia, with the fiesta de Santo Tomas, lights, and Christmas market by the river, feels festive and joyful all December. Who can complain?Plus, Mikel's family tradition of noche buena followed by Christmas lunch the next day keeps the calendar full, leaving me with no time to sulk about missing my family. Roast beef. Croquetas. Lamb. And their version of halo-halo. Who can complain?Who can complain?A sick me.😆 During nochebuena, I was so uncomfortable not even the wine could cork my whines.Weak and feeling like all around crap this week, I’ve been stuffing my nostrils with tissue instead of blowing my nose every second. (How can they not have anything like Neozep forte here?! And why does getting sick turn me into such a baby?🐥)When I saw a posted family photo on Christmas morning, I couldn't help but cry. "What's wrong?" "I miss my family." Tears, coffee, a cookie intermission, then I was okay.♥️The 90-Second RevelationDid you know that, biologically, an emotion only lasts 90 seconds? Any longer, and that's our mind re-triggering, re-stimulating, lingering. Any longer, and that's on us.I didn't know this little trivia tidbit when I cried. I read about it shortly after and immediately recalled my moment at the breakfast table. It was true! It lasted for about 90 seconds: sadness rushing over me, tears falling, acknowledging, accepting, and breathing out the emotion.When the tears stopped, I blew my nose, popped my meds, then prepped for lunch. Oh, what a lunch!😋The Downside of this SeasonI hope you had a merry Christmas and are in for a gratifying New Year!🎄🎁⛄I’m sending extra hugs to those that are not feeling the merry vibe. Know that you don't have to be all cheery. While jolly folks bask in the festivities, those that are going through darkness find this season extra taxing because of the pressure to appear happy.If you’re in a rut, reach out to someone that gives you warmth! As long as you're not being a Grinch for Grinch's sake, I'm sure loved ones will be happy to provide some comfort. Remember that being around healthy people is a remedy to the blues, along with a bit of exercise and helping people. (The man who invented happiness psychology says so!👇🏻)Bright Side UpAs the Christmas lights dim and the festive tunes fade into the background, what truly shines through is the spirit of togetherness. Families decked out in their holiday best, whipping up feasts and sharing laughter. Friends, separated by miles and time, reunite over Mongolian barbecue and a spirited game of charades.Living away during this season is tough; FOMO hits hard. The longing to create memories with those you hold dear is strong. But it’s something you can do, even from a distance.This Christmas, my mom took me on a virtual tour of the nochebuena celebrations, introducing me to every person and every dish, including the perfectly crisped lechon. A call to my brother, who just hit the milestone of 35, followed. And after a long drive to the countryside, moments with Patty and Anton unfolded while Mikel surfed on an empty beach.The essence of Christmas, at least for me, lies in truly spending time and reconnecting with friends and family, a practice that should extend throughout the year.So whether 'tis the season or not, I hope to keep that spirit alive.♥️Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Tamad (Lazy) to read? I speak the article (and ramble 😜) on the audio version. Or click here to skip to the year-end reflection questions.Not feeling the ‘Life Design for New Year’ vibe? I have new podcast episodes you can check out instead!🙌🏻For the majority of my conscious life, my sense of direction came, not from specific objectives, but from an ideal self. What kind of person do I want to be? What values do I want to live by? From these ideals and values, I made decisions and lived my life.Tattoos as RemindersMy few tattoos serve as reminders of values and lessons learned.* An equal sign because I believe that we should work towards equality. Each human and each being should be equal in dignity.* A question mark reminds me to be curious and, should I live to be a wise abuela, that I should listen to other people’s stories and ideas because there's always something to learn or a new perspective to see through.* A tattoo with arrows that point towards me reminds me to focus on the only thing I can control: myself. Everything else should be breathed out and let go. Woosahhh.* A heart on my finger reminds me of important friendships and relationships that need care.* Bonus tat? That of my doggie: Guylian. Just because.♥️Entering the Chapter of Life DesignHaving my personal values as my north star has been a pretty good guide. In terms of personal life goals and my professional career, it gave me the freedom to be agile and roll with the opportunities that came my way; learning about my strengths and passions with every project and experience.But now, quite possibly for the first time in my life, I feel like I have more control in actively designing the life I want. Perhaps I've reached a point where I'm at peace with who I am? Is it because I’ve figured out what to live by? Maybe I’m more empowered now to act and take a leap? Or is it because I’ve found a home that’s right for me?I’m not quite sure of the whys but I sense it's time to extend outward and design the world around me as best I can; set goals and just go for it!Agur, 2023! Kaixo 2024.💪🏻My sister Patoots sent me these exercises of reflection that, I think, are quite helpful. It's been an insightful exercise and a much-needed one considering I’m feeling lost (professionally)!😅 Here are a few of my main reflections:* 2023 was the year... I ventured out of my comfort zone with enthusiasm. I let go of perfectionism and embraced the messiness of creation!* Evolution of my Life in 2023:* Shy No More: I now know I do not suck at small talk!🤣* Feeling at Home: I feel at home in Donosti and am actively building my support systems.* Amazing Connections: I have lovely friends, both old and new!* What I'm Most Thankful for in 2023: New friendships that push me forward.* My Theme for 2024: Purposeful Life DesignHave you taken a moment to check in with yourself and reflect on your 2023 highlights, achievements, and the lessons learned? What framework did you use? The self-help geek in me wants to know!😆 Share your process and thoughts pretty please.🥺In return, I’m sharing the guide questions I answered!👇🏻 (Below ze photo.)Year-end Reflection QuestionsBefore diving into the planning of the future, consider closing the year off with gratitude. Here are some guide questions and prompts taken from Lavendaire’s New Year Planning video.* 2023 was the year in which...* What is the highlight of this year? How would you describe it?* Achievements and Highlights of the Year* List them!* What Worked this Year* Describe your victories and successes.* What Didn't Work this Year* Recognize errors and failures. They are part of a successful life.* Lessons Learned this Year* What have you learned from the victories and failures?* Evolution of My Life in 2023* What has changed in your life this year?* What I'm Most Grateful for in 2023* Did you know that gratitude is one of the secrets to a happy life? ♥️New Year Prep: Questions and PromptsNow comes the more difficult part, setting our intentions for the next year. I find this particularly scary because… What if I fail? ARGH! What is it with failure!? I keep fearing it knowing full well that it’s the greatest teacher.Here are the guide questions from Lavendaire’s goal setting video.* My Theme for 2024* What do you want your year to be about? What gift do you want to give yourself in this new year? The example from the video was "NOURISH." It could be happiness, balance, courage—whatever you want!* How Can I Personify My Theme?* What can I do, what changes can I make to make this theme real? Turn it into concrete actions and changes!* How Do I Want to Evolve in 2023?* In what aspects of yourself do you want to grow this year?* What Do I Want to Let Go of in 2023?* What things do you want to leave behind and consign to the past? What isn't serving you? Is it thinking too much about what others think? Negative thoughts?* What Are My Main Goals and Why Do I Want These Goals?* You won't want to overwhelm yourself and disperse your energy. Focus on 3-5 and make sure the WHY is clear.* In What Area of My Life Do I Want to Focus on FIRST this Year?* Think about all the different aspects of your life. In which one (just one) do you want to focus on FIRST? Maybe it's what you want to develop, or perhaps it's something you haven't paid enough attention to and needs your love.* How Do I Want to Transform Myself in This Area?* How would you like this area of your life to be in 1 year?TLDR VersionNo time? Here’s a quick exercise to help you figure out your direction. It’s from Kax Uson, an advocate and coach for women in tech, and who I had the privilege of interviewing to gain insights about imposter syndrome for pinoys and minorities.* What do you want to do more of?* What do you want to do less of?* What do you want to learn?* What can you stop doing? Want to stop doing?I’m well-aware that these exercises won’t make my dreams a reality. I also know that new year is a sham and you can reset your life any day of the year… But I hope it brings me closer to figuring out what I wanttt.😵‍💫 If you’re lost (like me!😅) or if you think you have a way forward or if you just miss me 🤗, send me a messageee!💌 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Kax Uson, seasoned product manager in Barcelona, joins this episode to help process the FilipinA experience abroad, specific challenges to building a successful career, and the annoying imposter syndrome that pops up. Her face absolutely lights up when she starts talking about her mission to empower women in the tech industry!If you connected with Kax and her cause, subscribe to her newsletter and reach out.😊 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Craving meaning in your achievements? Contemplating a move to the UK? Meet the super Pinay thriving in her career in the UK healthcare industry: Marian Gureng. We're diving into the art of balancing confidence without arrogance, tackling accents, navigating motherhood, and her jaw-dropping experience managing a team for conjoined twin surgery. The Science geek in me turned giddy!I’m so glad I had this conversation with Marian. My image of her as an assertive cheerleader from high school was given so much more depth. I learned a lot from her story and am even more motivated to catch up with long lost friends and deepen relationships thanks to this conversation.😊 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

"Soy Janine y soy de Filipinas." Every introduction in this city brings forth the inevitable question, "So what brought you here?" My response is simple: Love. I cringe but it’s true!😆With this blog revealing how my life and self is unfolding abroad, I thought it fitting to share what brought me to my new home. So I'm embracing my cheesiness to share the love story that doubles as my Donosti origin tale.A Night: A Chance Encounter in SiargaoSwiping through Tinder after much prodding from my enthusiastic girlfriends, I matched with surfer Mikel Martija while on vacation in the beautiful island of Siargao. Though we couldn’t make time to meet, fate intervened on my last night out.“Are you Janine?“Yup! Mikel?”“Si!”“Shot?”“No no no…”“Half a shot? Go!”A chance meeting at a bar, a shared tequila shot, and the spark was lit.A Day: A Magical Layover in ManilaSurprise, surprise! The green-eyed Basque man had a full day layover in Manila and, true to his word despite my lack of faith, he spent it with me.From stuffing surfboards into my compact car to exploring Manila's traffic jams and dampa gems, we laughed, spoke broken English, shared music, and kindled a connection over roti and curry.It was fun. It was easy. It felt comfy.After giving each other piggy-back rides on MOA’s Baywalk, we watched the sunset while sharing a Razon’s Halo Halo and acknowledged the mixed feelings of joy, melancholy, and sayang. We may never see each other again.As I dropped Mikel off at the airport, my heart dropped… Then fired up like a kwitis! I didn’t think I’d ever feel this giddy again. How silly of me to think that I'd be less prone to kilig moments of infatuation in my 30s!Dampa: A seafood market where you pick your fresh catch, bring it to a restaurant next door, and choose how you want your feast cooked.Sayang: An expression of regret or disappointment over a missed opportunity or a loss, often used when something valuable is not fully utilized.Kwitis: A traditional Filipino firework rocket that shoots into the sky and explodes with the sound: Eeeeeeeew pak!Kilig: The exhilarating and giddy feeling associated with romantic excitement.Palengke: What we call our bustling markets.Libreng Kolehiyo: "“Free College” and the most popular law we passed during our term in the senate.A Break: Getting Kicked Out of TinderAs if to slow down my dating life, Tinder decided to give me the boot in the middle of a fierce political campaign.😂I went from apolitical to a-believer while working for Senator Bam Aquino for 4 years as his speechwriter and, later, communications director. Battling trolls, disinformation, and the odds, we chanted our Libreng Kolehiyo jingle through palengkes in every corner of the Philippines. My life revolved around the campaign and so did my Tinder profile."Swipe left or swipe right, it’s all good. I’ll be fine! Just vote Bam Aquino. Ibalik sa Senado!" 😜Not everyone appreciated my political fervor. I’m guessing the many supporters of rival candidates found my profile too bold. Whatever the reason, I was reported and promptly shown the exit door from the Tinder platform. The silver linings?* It’s a funny story I share with pride.😜* I’ve made the most of the platform.😆* I met Mikel.😉* There was Bumble.😂A Trip: San Sebastian and Van Life TogetherAfter the exhilarating campaign season and the heartbreaking loss after elections, I decided to escape and travel. Thankfully, Mikel was still available 😅, and even planned a van trip that shaped our understanding despite language barriers.I’m smiling right now remembering how he picked me up from the airport and how we laughed at the strange feeling. We were practically strangers!Tea in Hondarribi. Motorcycle ride to Igeldo. Pintxos en lo viejo. Txuleta dinner at a gastronomic society. A day trip to Biarritz and Saint Jean de Luz. Then off we went in his “newly furbished” van. Oh man! I’ve never slept outside the comforts of a room before.He surfed. I read. We ate. We explored. From Langre to Somo in Cantabria. From Oviedo to Covadonga in Asturias. You can only imagine how “living” in a metal cocoon together for a few days brought a new dimension to our connection.🤣I asked, “How do you see our relationship progressing?”He answered, “It would be great if you moved to Europe! We could see each other regularly and see where it goes.”I took note. I was weighing the option of accepting a great job offer in Manila against the opportunity to reside in Europe, leveraging my French citizenship—a privilege I have thanks to my French grandmother.A Pause: Solo TravelingAfter living in a van together for 4 days followed by mountain trail torture, meeting surf friends, and running into Mikel’s mom (Yikes!), I left for “me time”.Madrid, Valencia, and Barcelona. Then Budapest, where I was traumatized by a pervert, Vienna, Prague, Berlin, Hamburg, Amsterdam. Traveling solo has always been a passion of mine.“You have to come back,” said Mikel.“Ok. Should I look for an apartment?”“That doesn’t make much sense. You can come live with me.”A Lifetime?! 🤭… And they lived happily ever after! Or so they say in fairytales. In real life, it’s the beginning of even more adventures, like a global lockdown during a pandemic!?! Who saw that coming?🤯Can tequila bring true love? I won't deny that a bit of liquid courage does help. But there’s also openness, confidence, and self-love. There’s humility, honesty, and finding calm when together and when apart. There’s also a whole lot of fun and oh so so so many more things and learnings.♥️So whip out the poison of your choice and join me in a virtual cheers. Here’s to love, however it may find us!Thank you for reading. Felt the kilig? This post is public so feel free to share the butterflies! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

I made kwento a bit more in the audio ☝🏻️ so hit play there if you aren’t annoyed with my voice and don’t mind hearing me talk about the trip instead. Links and photos available throughout the post!Two personal revelations from my London escapade:* I’m a geeky, tireless, kuripot traveler. Geeky because I gotta know the history and trivia of the spot. Tireless because I can walk endlessly and hold in my pee forever, which I shouldn’t because UTI hurts. Lastly, I just don’t like spending on unnecessary shiz!* I’m grateful to have a life partner that goes along with my travel vibe.♥️Discovering My Traveler PersonaIn the wild world of Filipino lingo, "kuripot" means frugal.While I absolutely adore exploring new places, I’m averse to spending.😆 When out with friends, I don’t mind footing extra expenses or treating. But when flying solo, penny-pinching takes the lead. So much so that one of the pieces of advice I’d give to my younger self is: “Spend a little more, you’ll be ok!”Reminiscing about my first trip to Europe, I recall stashing airplane cheese, crackers, and fruits in my bag for a makeshift dinner in Venice’s Piazza San Marco, only to later indulge in a hot chocolate.😜 Save now, spend later. Haha! Even with more years under my belt and with a healthier savings account, I don’t mind a few nights of discomfort if that means a bigger budget for later.Enter Mikel, my kindred spirit in financial restraint. I guess that’s one of the reasons why the relationship works; we can let comfort take a backseat and we love searching for the balance of quality and a great price. Dapat sulit!So in a city of opulence, Mikel and I danced to a different tune. Our hotel was central but questionable. Yet another experience that bonds us and yet another fun story to tell! But I’d never stay there ever again.😅My Three Constant Big-City Travel ThemesMuch like our jaunt to Seoul earlier this year, London's narrative unfolded through three main themes: Culture, Food, and Thrift Store Shopping.London Culture and HistorySandeman Tours made our cultural exploration unforgettable. I’ve done their tours—both free and paid tours—in Berlin and Hamburg and I highly recommend you check their website everytime you go to a European city!London City Walking Tour provided historical context while the Darkside of London Tour transported me back to the late 1800s, offering vivid tales of Jack the Ripper's reign. Life was tough post-industrial revolution, and the tour connected seamlessly with my learnings from Sydney. I loved it!There are a bunch of free museums in London but we visited the Tate Modern Museum, which showcased an extensive collection featuring iconic artists like Warhol, Dali, and Picasso. Tip: Dive in with a plan to see your favorite artists and ask the staff if you get lost; the place is colossal!Food Tripping in LondonNo fish and chips for us! Coming from a city with no great Asian options, oriental cuisine took the spotlight.* Roti King* Authentic mutton curry, roti, and laksa in a queue-worthy spot. It’s a 15-minute walk from King’s Cross Station where you can catch the Hogwarts Express on Platform 9 3/4!* Joy King Lau* Impeccable fried noodles, dim sum, and clean flavors in Chinatown. (Mikel dared me to conquer my fear of smalltalk with the next table so I did—with a British Pinoy. And I did!)* Bao London* Bao London has loads of spots; it’s a franchise. Pretty good baos and the salted egg custard dessert bao held its own. Buttt… This bao spot I tried in Madrid still takes the cake.* Kanada-Ya Ramen* We were gonna go to another place but since they didn't accept credit cards, we opted for Kanada-Ya Ramen and it did not disappoint. Tasty and you can choose the firmness of the noodles. Solid, pare! We’d be a regular if we lived in London.* Dishoom* We didn’t get to try Dishoom for Indian Cuisine but this chain comes highly recommended by the amazing Pinay designer in London, Drea Lopa. (Thanks, Drey! So happy I got to see you and Nikko!!!) Pressed for time, Mikel and I grabbed Indian food in one of the many food markets instead.In a city not traditionally acclaimed for its culinary prowess, we ditched the meat pie but still made room for a wee bit of their local gems.* Regency Cafe* For a traditional English breakfast experience, Regency Cafe is the most popular joint. Even the friendly pub manager was surprised we knew the local spot! It’s pretty good and budget-friendly. BUT be ready for a queue and the occasional travel vlogger.😅 To be honest… It wasn’t that great (especially compared to the beans in Spain). But people have been lining up to have breakfast here for years so you may want to see what all the fuss is about!* Bagel Bake Brick Lane Bakery* On Brick Lane (the mecca for thrift shopping!), Bagel Bake Bakery beats its many rivals in its borough. Skip the rest and order here. Trust me. We made the rookie mistake of trying the bagel next door since it was the first one we passed! We enjoyed it, kept walking, then found the legit Bagel Bake Brick Lane Bakery with a line. So we ate another bagel! What else could we do? Gotta try the best one!* The must-try is the salted beef bagel with gherkin (Smaller, crunchier pickles) and mustard. Gooey, flavorful, and worth the wait! Are you a sweet tooth like me? Order a donut stuffed with jam while you’re at it.😉Thrift Store ShoppingHow do you feel about second-hand shopping? I’ve always enjoyed it, from Baguio to Tokyo and Seoul. When you find something that looks great, fits perfectly, and with a smile-inducing price tag—what a feeling! It’s like going on an Easter Egg Hunt or looking for mushrooms in the forest.🤩Camden TownA much hipper Greenhills Shopping Center?!😂 Seriously, though. Camden Market is a vibe on its own, with a canal running alongside it and a whole bunch of food stalls. Duck in and out of funky shops—not all are second-hand!—and escape to Primrose Hill for a free view of the city.Soho and Covent GardenHere you’ll find any brand and store you’re looking for. Even the second-hand stores here were a bit pricier! But an interesting concept that exists in the UK is paying by weight instead of by piece. Outside the city, they say there are warehouses full of clothes that you can sift through and pay per kilo. In Covent Garden, we found a Vintage Kilo Store that had some classy pieces. Right next to it is another vintage shop chain called Rokit.* PICKNWEIGHT Vintage Kilo Store Covent Garden* Rokit Covent GardenBrick LaneSaving the best for last! This is where we bought most of our treasures right before heading to the airport.😅 In our experience, it’s the best bang for your buck. The street is lined with vintage shops! The Blues Kitchen Shoreditch, bar with live music, is also nearby. Too bad we didn’t have time to grab a drink there. Next time!* Brick LaneWait. How do you usually plan a trip?I have special Google maps for: “Food” and “Want to go”. I save spots to each so they’re marked differently on my map. (I think I’ll make another one for shops hehe!) I head to a “Want to go” and when I get hungry check out dots for places to eat. Do you do the same?Iconic Sights and Double-Decker DelightsWhile the Parliament Building, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, The British Museum’s stolen artifacts, the Tower Bridge, etc. etc. etc. beckon, time constraints led us to prioritize. After 4 full days, we’re back home tired but full of stories! Too many to fit in a post. So I’ll end with random tips instead.😆* Save spots on your map. But prioritize!* Know your travel persona and be honest about it to help you narrow down your destinations and choose the right restos.* Ask tips from people you know or friends of friends that have lived in London! I got so many great tips from people.* Kickstart your adventure with a walking tour for insider tips from the guide.* Make the most of the metro but experience that red double-decker bus too.* Travel with a buddy that just gets you.♥️Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support Janine’s work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Nikki was the anchor of my teen years, tackling boy drama with Spice Girls magic.😂 Her blend of fun, likeability, organization, and responsibility was truly admirable. While I always knew she'd excel in any career, our recent conversation unveiled to me her incredible journey in architecture and design. Tune in as we chat about her Master's at Parsons School of Design in NYC, her lighting design focus, and her current role as the Dean of Architecture and Design. Join us as we try to figure out the secrets to adaptability and fearlessness with a load of laughs! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

I mustered the courage to attend an event about the Circular Economy all by lonesome.🙌🏻 Overcoming my fear of small talk (in Spanish!), I made at least four new connections with amazing people making a real societal impact. I was charged and inspired!I had the pleasure of connecting with an experienced environmental advisor who shared some incredible insights. Equally inspiring was a wonderful lady from Ecuador who founded an association, building a meaningful bridge between development projects back home and the Basque community.I learned of a community kitchen initiative working towards more sustainable food purchases. (I just signed up!) And it doesn't stop there—communities are teaming up to embrace renewable energy. My mind was blown by the wealth of both challenges and solutions in this corner of the world. I was completely unaware! Oh and a lovely social worker translated when one of the speakers decided to use Euskera; all thanks to a smile and a “Kaixo! Soy Janine.”The next day, though, I woke up frustrated with myself and my career. A wave of fears overwhelmed me. How can I be part of the good in the world? Will I ever find my sweet spot in the arena of social impact when I can’t even find a job in the for-profit sector? Was my job at the Philippine Senate the peak of my career and potential? Tough questions. The pressure turned to tears.Appreciation for Friends, Old and NewI reached out to friends. So thankful for Kars and Misha! And thank heavens Saira was free for a nerves-calming, ego-uplifting, laughter-inducing call. (Love you guys!)There's also this fantastic group I meet up with regularly—ladies I met through the courses I've been taking. I'm helping them with their projects and personal branding. A quick workshop on elevator pitches and LinkedIn profiles filled me up with purpose.Did you know that one of the secrets to happiness is getting out of your own mind and helping others? It's working. It really is. The tears from fears transformed into tears of appreciation.Welcome to your life. There’s no turning back…🎶 - Tears for Fears 😆Networking InsightsNetworking used to make me cringe, but now I see it in a totally different light. By focusing on people, their stories, and the wealth of knowledge they offer, networking becomes an enriching adventure. Why couldn’t I get over myself and my insecurities sooner?😩 (Janine, forget about you!😜)Here are some of my lessons learned from networking in Donosti:* A warm smile and a genuine compliment go a long way.* No one cares if your grammar sucks!* Always ask for contact details—number? LinkedIn? Instagram?* Follow up with a sincere message to nurture the connection.* Invite them for a coffee chat, learn about their projects, explore their career path, and seek advice!Here are some more networking tips from a new LinkedIn connection. Destiny sent me her post as I started my mission to build my local web.❤️What’s next?This weekend I take a quick break from it all. Heading over to London for a few days! Woot woot! Then… Who knows? I have loads of little projects and goals and ideas. Just gotta keep taking action, even if it’s just the little steps! Time flies. Life flies. Let’s make the most of it!Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

There are some people with whom you share such a strong bond that you can always pick up right where you left off. Claudine Liljedahl is one of those people for me. (Love you, Din!) Even after years of being out of touch, we can snap our fingers and discuss her life, career, and lessons from moving to Scandinavia. Close to the end of the convo, she introduced the term ‘microaggressions’, which led me to read up and be more conscious of my own biases. Cheers to growth! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

In the buzz of the digital age, the term "Attention Economy" has been making the rounds. Sound familiar?It's a game-changer. The concept that our attention is like a currency with real value in dollar signs wakes me up from my digital coma. Companies are making big bucks out of our clicks, reads, and reacts. (Our data, too! But that’s another post. Haha!)I’m conscious of it now every time I clean up my inbox or when an ad catches my eye enough to ‘swipe to learn more’. I think about it when I decide what ideas to learn about; which views to take in; who to spend time with; what experiences to collect…So I’m sharing this uncomfortable thought with you.😆Attention Economy 101Simply put, the attention economy recognizes that your focus is a hot commodity. From scrolling social media to captivating ads, everyone wants a piece.Browsing through the UN's files, I found this:Davenport and Beck (2001) first define the "economics of attention" as an approach to the management of information that treats human attention as a scarce commodity and applies economic theory to solve various information management problems. We are increasingly living in an “attention economy” rather than an “information economy”.We have algorithms that know what make us tick and click. Marketing folks like me study best practices to grab eyeballs with sticky headlines and content. (EEPS! Sorry!) Everything seems optimized to attract and constantly tug at our focus.Listening to the Let's Appreciate podcast on the topic, I came across this disturbing thought:“The Attention Economy has monetized distraction.” — kyla scanlonYikes! Content isn’t just competing for our attention but earning points for distracting us from what really matters. If we lose track of what that is, or if we never took the steps to discover what adds value to our lives, it’s easy to fall into the deep end. After all, our screens and our notifications are the newest, coolest, most socially acceptable drug of the 21st century.Planning My EscapeWhat’s our best defense? Awareness and intentionality.Decide where your attention goes and get back in the driver's seat. Easy, right? Nope. It takes a strong will, repetition, and probably some neuroplasticity tricks to master it. (Neuroplasticity is one of the other concepts I’ve been obsessed with lately!)I started this newsletter after reading the book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I was supposed to redesign my digital life by deciding the value I wish to gain from each app or tool and get rid of everything that does not serve me.I haven’t done that. I should start! It gave me steps that includes a 30-day detox from non-essential apps and gadgets.😳 Kaya ko kaya?! I’ll never know ‘til I try.🤔Confessions of an Attention SeekerIn the grand theater of the attention economy, I must confess my role as both victim and perpetrator. Having spent 15 years in the realm of marketing and communications, I've been a cog in the vast machinery competing for your focus. Guilty as charged.The itch to exit the social media game has been persistent, and now, even infiltrating your inbox leaves me with a tinge of guilt. Yet, amid my Descartes-inspired doubt-everything phase, two truths have emerged.Effective marketing wields power. Capturing your attention is not just a goal; it's a responsibility. Once achieved, the duty shifts to delivering content that enriches rather than distracts, a principle I will now carry into my professional journey.But most importantly, I am profoundly grateful for YOUR time and attention. In a world bombarded by digital noise, your decision to engage with my content is a choice I don't take lightly. Your attention is a precious gift.As we ride the waves of this new era where attention is a currency, I wish for all of us a life rich in meaningful connections and exhilarating, real-world experiences that triumph over mindless distractions.Thank you, thank you for being a part of this journey and entrusting me with your attention. It means the world.♥️Thank you for reading! This post is public so feel free to share it (if you think it’s not just another distraction!).Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support Janine’s work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Lately, I've been pondering womanhood, the unsung challenges, and the strengths that define us as a gender. Read on (or listen to the audio version!) and let me know your thoughts.Not Many People Know This Horror StoryIt happened on my first night in Budapest. I was traveling alone and I hopped on the nightly river cruise to see the city lights from their main water channel. Lovely! Another great solo travel memory for the books.I decided to walk back to my Airbnb. It was just 30 minutes by foot. How dangerous could it be?I was careful. Crossing to the more peaceful-looking sidewalk whenever I glimpse a group of partygoers ahead. I love walking and taking in a city bit by bit, statue by statue, building by building. Lovely!Until, on a dark and quiet street and between parked cars, a man appeared to indulging in an indecent solo act. “P*tangina,” I said aloud and in shock. He was masturbating. T*ngina lang talaga.I walked on, speeding up, scanning for people and escape routes. The pervert pursued me while continuing the deed. Motherf*cker! I turned around and shouted, “Get the f*ck away from me.” I sped up even more. So did he. WTF!Thankfully I turned the corner and there were people sitting on a bench. He disappeared and I was left with a mix of disgust, fury, and helplessness. I wish I could’ve smashed his face in or, better yet, sliced out his “manhood”.What a night. Lovely, just lovely.Can guys really get it?I spoke to a male friend that night to keep me company on the phone. But I don’t think he really understood the depth of my emotions, the frustration over my vulnerability and helplessness.There are just some things about the female experience that are difficult to empathize with unless you’ve gone through something similar. For example: getting your period for the first time. WAH!😩Biological Hassles of Being a WomanOh that monthly frenemy: menstru-frikkin-ation. It's an odyssey laden with physical and emotional discomfort and pain. Real pain. Headaches, cramps, and a sensation of feeling either like an inflating or a deflating balloon.😆 Not to mention the icky feeling of having to change a napkin or tampon. UGH. Thank you to whoever invented the menstrual cup because it changed my life!There are endless hassles linked to this periodic reminder that we're designed to bring life into the world.Now… For the women who do choose to embrace motherhood, the challenges are monumental. There's the physical pain of pregnancy and childbirth while not being able to drink alcohol or eat sushi. I mean, what?! There are sleepless nights and endless responsibilities of nurturing a life. Yes, yes, many say it’s all worth it. But that doesn’t erase the struggle—it is real.Sociological Shiz Women Deal WithAnd then there are the sociological hassles. The everyday experience of walking alone, only to be met with unsolicited advances and catcalls. The gnawing feeling of unease when we're not in a group or in the quiet of our own homes. The ever-present awareness that personal safety comes with an asterisk followed by the disclaimers of outfit, how much alcohol we drink, who we choose to go out with, how we present ourselves... Queue the dramatic eye-roll.🙄Conversations with Other WomenTalking to fellow women about these challenges feels like a lifeline. It's a way to connect, share experiences, and seek support. We understand the emotions, the nuances, and the triumphs because we've lived them.The empowering conversations I've had with women like Sinag Adviento, for example, who built a career in the culinary world despite having to overcome stereotypes and sexism in the kitchen, have been a source of comfort and, well, angst.Feminism in SpainIn Spain, the feminist movement seems robust. Though I haven’t been here long enough to truly understand it, feminism here seems like a powerful force that not only brings people to the streets in protest but also influences politics and social structures.Here, for example, women entrepreneurs and freelancers get extra financial support from the government. Men do, too, but women are given a little bit more. Does that seem fair to you?ICYMI, there’s a discrimination case in the U.S. against a VC that provides funding to black women entrepreneurs. Sharing Spotify link here in case you find it interesting! I had this conversation recently with a business consultant and he acknowledges that while women here are strong, independent, and have fairly equal opportunities, the statistics show that there are a lot less women entrepreneurs that achieve success. Until the scales tip in favor of equal support and opportunities, he believes these initiatives level the playing field.Might also be a good time to plug Imaginable Impact, an organization empowering filipina entrepreneurs!So maybe some guys do get it!The Flip SideI’m recalling my post-Barbie-movie conversation. We admitted that we wondered how different life might be if we were born men. I know I’ve thought about this a lot, maybe even prayed to be teleported to universe where Janine is James. Lol.The freedom, the lack of judgment, and the absence of constant apprehension. Freedom.Living in a place with fewer catcalling and the liberty to leave home without a bra is liberating! Might sound babaw but it’s true. There’s a lightness in letting go of what society expects women to be.On the podcast, Sinag shared the story of the first time she felt like “I was seen not as a woman but as a professional.” It gave me goosebumps.Moments when you feel like you are seen and appreciated for who you really are and not just the gender/race/age/label/box you’re associated with are magical moments. So lovely.Would love to hear your ideas on womanhood, feminism, gender and social equality! Diverse perspectives enrich the discussion. There’s a lot we can learn from each other’s experiences if we took the time to really listen.😊 Drop a comment or send me a message!Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support Janine’s work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Have you heard of Gallup's StrengthsFinder? It's one of those personality tests, like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (I'm an INJF) and the Enneagram (I'm a Type 1). StrengthsFinder, now called CliftonStrengths, focuses on identifying your top 5 strengths, which tend to remain consistent throughout your life. The idea is to cultivate these strengths instead of dwelling on frustrating weaknesses. To compensate for your Achilles heel, it suggests finding partners or team members that have them as their strengths, encouraging a volting in of superpowers that spell success.My top 5 strengths, according to StrengthsFinder, are Strategy, Ideation, Learner, Connectedness, and Analytical. Interestingly, four out of the five fall under the strategic theme. This means I thrive on sifting through various scenarios and possibilities to find the best way forward. I'm perfectly comfortable with a plethora of options to analyze.If you're not like me, the rest of this entry might not be your cup of tea. It's going to be full of options and links that could make your head spin. Heehee!New Podcast Episodes for "I Suck At Smalltalk"I've uploaded three new episodes, bringing my total up to six. Woot!I'm oh so happy to be catching up with lovely people and dipping our feet into something new and unfamiliar together. I mean, who records conversations with friends? I do.🤣 You can binge-watch them on Spotify or choose your happy pill from the list below.* Watch Ep 04: Chef Sinag Adviento's Insights on Machismo, Language Barriers, and Grit Abroad* Watch Ep 05: Mon Limcaoco's Journey from Manila to Sydney during the Pandemic* Watch Ep 06: Nicole Maas Tells the Story of Crossing the Pyrenees by Foot and Other Mountain AdventuresHelp! Check if “I Suck at Smalltalk” is on Apple PodcastsQuick favor to ask… When you click on the button, can you see my podcast on Apple? Can you let me know by replying to this or however way we chat with each other? Lol. I'm not sure if it's only accessible to me or if it's successfully published. UGH. Tech troubles!Building Work PortfolioI've been pretty occupied living my enthusiastic student life. (Why are studies so much more interesting as an adult?!) I’ll admit that my job search is taking a back seat.But to help me figure myself out, and share my personal journey to potential employers, I’ve added a new section on Substack called "Work Portfolio". Here are some of my articles that you might find interesting. Not a reader? I recorded audio for them too!* My Journey to Confidence* Takeaways from Preparing Country Reports for Japan, Qatar, and the Netherlands* Becoming a More Effective Writer and Content Strategist by Ranting (and Raving!) about SEOWars of the WorldThere's more than one, two, or a shitload of conflicts and disasters at the moment. How are you coping? Hindi ko pa napo-process lahat.😩“Today, Explained” Episodes on the Israel-Hamas ConflictSending out virtual hugs. Hayyy.Thanks for reading Janine Ramirez - I Suck at Smalltalk Podcast! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Mon is the karaoke-performing knight in shining armor that stole my sister Patty away from the clutches of Metro Manila. Ha! I’m so grateful for all the times they let me third wheel with them. And I’m lucky-AF to have Mon and Patty to swap “living abroad” stories with! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

I met Nicole over four years ago when we took Spanish classes in El Aula Azul. We would do random things together, from practicing Spanish to playing Bananagrams, and even attempting to kayak to Isla Santa Clara on a not-so-safe-for-kayaking day. I'm thrilled to catch up with Nicole and hear about her Pyrenees adventure and how she’s recovered from a recent fall. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Join this captivating conversation as we explore the real struggles faced by an Asian, Filipina woman in the fast-paced world of kitchens around France.Chef Sinag Adviento shares her firsthand experiences, tackling issues like machismo, language barriers, and the relentless determination that keeps her thriving abroad. Discover the importance of grit and resilience in this eye-opening and fun chat. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Do you search for recipes online like I do? Here’s the scenario: I’m looking for a simple recipe with the ingredients and instructions formatted in bullets, but recipe sites dish out endless tales before revealing the coveted content. They start with the origins of the entrée, cooking tips, alternative ingredients, health benefits, the author’s love for garlic, and more, all before they finally share the recipe. Just check out #2 on my Google search for Filipino Adobo!It's pure SEO strategy, prioritizing search engine optimization at the cost of user experience, which is a significant turnoff for me, both as a user and as a writer.While the rich and famous avoid repeating outfits, writers tend to steer clear of reusing words.Before I continue my SEO rant, allow me to provide context for those who aren’t familiar with the concept.SEO: Quick Definition and HistoryI like how MailChimp defines it: Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is the process used to optimize a website's technical configuration, content relevance and link popularity | so its pages can become easily findable, more relevant and popular towards user search queries, | and as a consequence, search engines rank them better.* Oversimplified Definition: SEO is building your website so that you appear first when someone searches for you or for something similar.The roots of SEO can be traced back to the early days of the internet. However, it gained prominence as the digital world evolved and as Google amassed global market share. It’s important to note, thought, that SEO also encompasses optimization of your page/content/product for other search engines such as YouTube, Amazon, or China’s Baidu. Then again, with over 80% of the world searching the web via Google, it’s simply smarter for most businesses to focus resources to appear on top of keyword searches in Google… at least for now.I enrolled in a free course provided by a local formation center to learn SEO in Spanish. Why I Would Cringe upon Seeing ‘SEO Writer’In 2008, I ventured into my career as a copywriter, specializing in traditional media such as TV commercials, print ads, and advertorials, with the occasional foray into digital banner ads. (Oh how the media landscape has evolved!) Subsequently, I found myself crafting country reports and advertorials for Foreign Affairs magazine and the Japan Times. This journey eventually led me to a fulfilling role as former Senator Bam Aquino’s speechwriter and head of communications.Throughout my diverse roles and myriad marketing and writing jobs in between, my primary focus always revolved around delivering clarity to the audience, offering them relevant information quickly, simply, and compellingly.So when I decided to explore the realm of SEO, I was taken aback by some of its fundamental principles. While the rich and famous avoid repeating outfits, writers tend to steer clear of reusing words—a practice in stark contrast to SEO's rule of thumb of ‘the more the merrier’. Cringe! The term ‘SEO Writer’ seemed like an oxymoron; a great writer wouldn’t allow their work to be dictated by an algorithm.Here comes the but… My strategic self demanded I play the SEO game, even though it seemed to make content less efficient with repetitive keywords. What value is there in your content if no one sees it? When building a brand or trying to sell a product or service, all the effort and resources invested in a website needs to show ROI in traffic and in sales.You have to learn the rules of the game if you’re playing to win, or if you’re looking to break them!What I Hate About SEO Recipe PagesSo what are the SEO rules, followed to a T by recipe webpages, that make my stomach growl and face scowl? These are the top three that annoy me almost as much as being hangry. Keyword Optimization vs. Time and Brain-space OptimizationBalancing keyword optimization often means repeatedly using a specific phrase like ‘easy chicken curry recipe with coconut milk’ throughout the article, with zero motivation to be concise.Rich Content vs. Simple InstructionsRecipe sites flood their pages with multimedia (photos and videos) for higher rankings. But honestly, how many pictures do you need? I’ll admit that videos may help and I wouldn’t mind all that media mumbo jumbo if not for…User Engagement vs. User-friendlinessThey tuck the actual recipe—what we're there for!—at the very bottom, forcing us to scroll through endless content. Why? Because scrolling past the entire page gives them points to boost search rankings.It's pure SEO strategy, prioritizing search engine optimization at the cost of user experience, which is a significant turnoff for me, both as a user and as a writer.Playing the SEO GameAfter a five-month job search and my marketing career hanging in the balance due to my move to a quaint Basque city, two job offers fell into my plate. Who would have guessed that one of them would be ‘SEO Writer’ for an established educational game company?I remember the CEO making their priorities clear: though they knew I had no SEO background, they chose me for my ability to write compelling, informative articles. They were confident that SEO rules and techniques could be taught quicker and much easier than the art of writing.My primary focus always revolved around delivering clarity to the audience, offering them relevant information quickly, simply, and compellingly.‘Janine of All Trades’ chose to be the Content Strategist for Erudit AI, which also had me juggle SEO writing alongside other responsibilities. I had the privilege of working with seasoned SEO consultants and, to be honest, the strategy behind SEO intrigued me in a way I hadn't anticipated.Fast forward to the present, amidst my current chapter of unemployment, I've decided to rekindle my relationship with SEO, albeit with a more challenging twist. I enrolled in a free course provided by a local formation center to learn SEO in Spanish. It's yet another chapter in my quest to balance the realms of SEO, user experience, and brand identity, while leveling up mi español. I can't wait to see where this new knowledge will take me, I’m already thinking of so many tweaks I need to make everywhere.😆At the very least, I’m working to improve the website of my suegra for her laser hair removal clinic! Oh, and making new friends and connections, claro.😉Do you know a small business owner in need of strategic and compelling content? Are you an entrepreneur struggling to turn your thoughts and ideas into a clear content strategy? Connect with me on LinkedIn and let’s untangle those ideas together! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

My dog’s name is pronounced gil-yan, like the seashell chocolates. He was from Tito Andy’s first dachshund litter. Thanks, Tito Ands, for giving me Guylian who may well be the greatest gift of my life. Also thankful to Yaya Leds, Mang Edgar, and my mom for being Guyli’s family and safe space as I explored the world.I may have cried all the tears saved up over the past years; tears I’ve held back whenever Guylian crossed my mind. My strong, stubborn but sweet, loyal canine passed away on October 16, 2023, with 15 wonderful years under his collar.My mom says he refused to eat and drink, preparing for his final journey. He vomited water. That’s what dogs do when they’re ready to die, says one of the books I read when I prepared for Guyli’s arrival back in 2008.It was a book on holistic practices for pets and taught me about natural remedies based on their evolution. No non-doggie milk for the pup; I mixed in yogurt instead. I cooked him balanced meals of 75% meat, 15% veggies, and 10% carbs. When I’d see a tick, I’d grate a bit of garlic in his food. I believe this healthy diet resulted in a soft, shiny, and garapata-free coat that caught a stranger’s attention in Tiendesitas. “How’d you get his coat to be so thick and shiny?”I’d like to believe it also led to his long, healthy life.Guylian was a handsome dog. Even when a belly started to form, people would stop him on the street, eager to buy one of his pups when he gives birth.😆 Umm.😬 "Lalaki po siya." ("He’s a dude.”)He was smart. Potty training wasn’t that difficult, though he did mark my bed a few times and often refused to pee outside when it was raining. He’d try to hide his pee under the couch or the corner table!He mastered "sit," "stay," "jump," "down," "turn around," "roll over," and even "bang!", which had him playing dead. "Lechon" was another trick in his repertoire. Can you guess what that looks like?My salchicha was also undeniably stubborn, particularly when he sprinted off to chase prey. He once buried himself in a mountain of wood branches in the farm and wouldn't come out, no matter how low and scary I made my voice. Must’ve been something scurrying around in there!His hunter's instinct was incredible. Guylian had a knack for catching mice and his imaginary trophy case held at least three big rats, a kitten, and even a bird. I’ll never forget prying a dying kitty from his mouth—twice! He just wouldn’t let go.Es mejor pedir perdón que pedir permiso. (It’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.)Guylian lived that. He’d go for what he wanted, knowing full well it was against my wishes, then come back with his soulful eyes and his undying devotion to following me wherever I went. It was impossible to stay mad at him for long.It was also impossible to feel alone with such a clingy companion.Cuddling was one of his talents. At the very least, he'd rest his head on your foot. Most times, he’d steal a pillow and burrow himself close to you. His affection helped me weather countless difficult times and heartbreaks. His existence gave me a reason to carry on even when I didn’t want to. Dramatic, but true.For almost half of my life, he was one of the greatest sources of joy, love, and support. He was my home.Guylian was also the source of my guilt. The mere thought of leaving him behind tied my heart in knots, and had my eyes well up. So, in 2019, I had him tattooed on my ankle. That way, I could take him with me wherever I went.I’ve left him for months at a time but he never cast a look of disdain. The only time he ever gave me that look was when I introduced him to a swimming pool. He'd never swum before, and he despised the water. He loathed taking showers too, hiding and scrunching down closer to the floor every time he heard "Ligo ka na, Gi!" (“Time for a bath, Gi!”)Guyli was the only reason strong enough to have kept me in the Philippines.If not for how well he was cared for at home, I never would have been able to pack up and leave for good without him. He was the señorito of the house, and with my mom's expanding plant collection and Mang Edgar's green thumb, he had a beautiful garden to explore every day.Guylian didn't like being carried. His long body made it difficult for most people to lift him comfortably. But not me. We had that trust; I knew precisely where to place my arms, and he'd let his weight fall onto me as I swept him off the floor. It was a seamless dance between the two of us, a connection we still shared the last time I saw him in February.I held him like a baby, for he truly was my baby until the very end, even as he went blind and walked more slowly with his arthritis. We grew up together.I wept like a child when I left, knowing it would be the last time I'd feel his soft fur, pat his big belly, or carry him. It would be the last time I’d hold him, kiss him, tell him how much I loved him.I wonder if he, too, knew it was our last goodbye?Guylian's final night fell during my day. The entire Sunday, my back hurt a lot and I had zero energy. The only other symptom was a sore throat, I had no fever. Still, I could barely walk around the house. Weird.The next day, the feeling was gone. And so was my Giwi.My last bit of superstition wants to believe that our connection was working its magic across continents. In some way, I was feeling his pain as he came to say goodbye. Maybe he was lying down beside me on the couch all day.I hope he noticed his photo and all the dachshund-themed memorabilia around the house.I wonder if he thought of me in the end?I hope not. I wasn't there to see him off; I was fast asleep.But if he did, I hope he knew how much I loved him and cherished his unconditional love and trust. How proud I was of his hunting skills, how I think fondly of our road trips, how he saved me from dark moments. And how he will forever hold a piece of my life and my heart, wherever he is.I imagine him now in a vast field running carefree, diving into the bushes, tracking scents, and enthusiastically digging through the earth, elegantly tossing dirt and leaves behind him with his teeny little legs.I’ll think of him whenever I’m in nature.I’ll think of him when I treat myself to my favorite chocolate, which I named him after. I’ll think of him when I see another pup.I’ll think of him randomly, daily for as long as I live.Be wild, be free, and be at peace, Guylian. You were and always will be one of the greatest and purest loves of my life.Thanks for reading Where I Roam Free! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

This is a hard post to write because it will reveal a part of myself that I really, really do not like: My inaction.I remember a moment of pure elation. After five months of moving to San Sebastian for good; and after coming to terms with potentially giving up my career in marketing and communications to live here, I finally got job offers—two on the same day! In a snap, my inbox full of rejection letters didn't bother me anymore.Thanks for reading Where I Roam Free! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.The icing on the cake was getting to meet my new team in Fuerteventura, one of the Canary Islands. I was on cloud nine! Then BOOM. Category five typhoon Odette struck the Philippines, leaving behind a trail of destruction—islands, homes, lives, and coconut trees lost. I shared posts and links to donation drives between pingpong matches with new colleagues.I honestly still don’t know how to manage such contrasting emotions all at once.How can I have so much fun while there’s war, poverty, earthquakes, hunger, flooding, oppression, suffering. There’s so much suffering in the world while I worry about non-consequential tonterias of life and sip on craft beer.I recall the onset of the Ukrainian conflict shaking me out of my comfort zone again. But my desire to make a difference fizzled into just one single donation.Today, the world grapples with yet another crisis. The conflict between Israel and Palestine has reached new heights. I find myself, yet again, with that push to know more and do something, anything with impact. Embrace the discomfort.An important step to effect any form of mindful change is acknowledgment. It's crucial to face the discomfort and accept the truth that I am, in many ways, too comfortable. Acknowledging my privilege and the world’s injustice, then sitting with that thought is my step one.Lucky me! #Blessed—It’s easy to get stuck in gratitude. But I don’t want to fall into that trap. While research shows that gratitude may lead to happiness, so does altruism.I want to make a conscious effort to push past myself: engage with the often discomfiting world news, delve into the complexities of global crises, and strive to grasp where I fit into this bigger picture. It's my teeny way of ensuring I don't remain confined within my safe bubble, particularly since I now reside in what appears to be an almost idyllic little circle in the Basque Country.Podcasts and resources I've turned to for information:* Pod Save the World for weekly news round-ups* Today, Explained for easy-to-understand explanations on current issues* They have a 4-part series called “Blame Capitalism” that was really interesting!How to make an impact?I don’t want to fall into the preachy know-it-all trap either!😝So the challenge remains. How can I make an impact? It's a question that haunts me, especially when crises hit. The world's problems feel insurmountable, and I'm just one individual.I'm reminded of my favoritest job ever, working for former senator Bam Aquino. It was a role that made me feel like I was part of a greater good. Having a front-row seat to roundtable discussions involving a spectrum of stakeholders, contributing to the meticulous shaping of laws that cater to their intricate needs and concerns, actively seeking and spreading uplifting tales of Filipinos validating a policy's efficacy. It's that sense of purpose that I crave.Being jobless carries a hidden blessing, one you find if you see past the pang of shame. I've embarked on a journey of personal growth by enrolling in courses to enhance my skillset. I've also established this blog and a podcast to nurture connections with individuals. However, this public post signifies my resolve to hold myself accountable for my yet-unrealized potential for making a more significant societal impact.Fingers crossed, I'll stumble upon a gig that's not just a job, but a heartfelt cause. (I say stumble, but I know I need to actively search for it!) Ojalá I find my new sense of purpose and the resolve to change that disappointing part of myself—or accept my limitations if I never get there.If you've got any leads or tips, please, send them my way. Your support is like a ray of sunshine on my now rainy days.Thanks for reading Where I Roam Free! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Today is Mental Health Day. I’ve been feeling BLEH. And that’s a-okay! It’s natural.But it’s harder to get me moving. It’s more difficult to write when you're not feeling great… Though perhaps that's when writing helps the most!With or without social media, it's difficult to share the darker, unhappier side of yourself. There's a fear of being disliked, of being the downer, the negastar. 😆 And I hate being the heavyweight—not the MMA kind but the kind that brings the mood down.I love cheering people up and making sure everyone is having a good time. But that gets tiring! At the end of the day, other people's joy and experiences are not our responsibility. Just like my happiness is no one else's responsibility but my own.Own your emotions. Own your reactions. Own your decisions.☝🏻️ Some of my favorite life lessons.Two-Wheel UpdatesInspired by Anna, my friend from Barcelona who brought me around on her scooter, I’m motivated to take more motorcycle trips of my own. Apart from having to Google how to open the seat so I could load gas (I couldn’t find the lock! 🤣), it’s been smooth sailing. I've had some dumb driver moments, but the image of an old man with his hands in the air will never let me make the same mistakes again. SHAME!Is this imposter syndrome?When asked about my podcast, I find that I downplay it. I even feel ashamed to promote it. Why?! One reason is: “Who the hell am I to publish a podcast?!” Hence my disclaimer that it's more for me than for anyone else.It might also be because I feel like I can do better. While I find the conversations fun and valuable for me, my performance as a host is subpar at best. I'm usually just out of bed, hungover, or in a wapakels mood, enjoying the moment; I don't feel like I steer the conversation well, and I find myself oh so ineloquent. Wah!Speaking of which, even my Spanish is stagnating. BOO. Hopefully, the classes help!I’m Janine and I’m unemployed.I've realized that though logically I know not to tie my worth to a job, being unemployed is making me all jittery and defensive. Like I have to justify why I'm without work, which sucks! Because I'm appreciative of this time to relax, reflect on what I really want from my career, take courses to improve skills I want to build, and go to aforementioned Spanish classes.We are more than our jobs! Life is more than work. Repeat 483x.Mindless Focus While Picking ApplesI feel so lucky to have been part of the cider-making process with Mikel’s friends last Saturday. I enjoyed the manual labor, hanging on branches, and lugging around sacks of apples while everyone spoke another language. I could be in my own little world, using my voice only when I was curious about the process. They let me use the juice pressing machine too, which was cool!Here's a quick rundown of the process: First, gather a ton of apples. Wash ‘em. Next, run them through a shredder. The shreds then go into a contraption that extracts the delicious apple juice. The freshly strained juice is then pumped into the fermentation tanks while the dried up bits are thrown into the river.😅 (I've made it this far in the process!) As for when it'll be ready for bottling, I'll ask them about that next time!While cider-making is fun (and tiring!) the highlight of the day was meeting our friends’ peppy mom named Pepi (and their neighbor who lent extra chairs and helped move tables around!). The first descriptor for me over here is that I’m Filipina so they latched onto that and started sharing trivia. I was reminded of Urdaneta’s contribution to navigation.😅 I’ve forgotten so many bits of our history!You alone are responsible for the person you become and the life you create. So own it!Feeling BLEHYes, I’ve been feeling bleh lately. I’ve been doubting myself, hating on me, and anxious about the future. But these days are when I’m so grateful for my go-to peeps. Without them, I’d be even crazier than I am now.Or. Wait.Without them, I might have been sad and sane instead of fun and crazy—I'd choose fun and crazy any day.😜 Joking aside, the people we choose to have in our lives play a crucial role in our sense of home and happiness. Thank goodness for the internet and its power to connect us across timezones!Before I say bye, just a reminder that’s it’s ok to not feel ok. Reach out to someone you love and who loves you, even when you’re not at your 100%.❤️ Byeee! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

I’m baaack! So… I do not want this to end up being a diary. But what can I do if my life treats me with lovely memories I want to conserve? (I've noticed that I select words now as if I were speaking in Spanish.)Conservar ~ Verb. Meaning to conserve or to preserve.Saucy Business, Haciendo ConservasWe have homemade tomato sauce for the winter! 8 kilos of ripe tomatoes, a giant pot bubbling away, 14 jars lined up like little soldiers, and hours of cooking, straining, and funneling. The result is our very own homemade stash of tomato goodness, ready to warm up those cold winter days. Want the recipe and process? Message me!Next weekend, Mikel's friends make their apple cider and I hope to lend a hand. Love, love, love how they’re so connected to their food sources here. They don’t just love food, they immerse themselves in the entire process and you learn how to taste the difference!Big City Excitement, de BCN a MADLast week, I jet-and-train-setted off to Barcelona and Madrid, two bustling Spanish urban jungles that get my taste buds all excited for Asian flavors! I. Miss. Asian. Food. OK?!The best part, apart from being driven around by Anna on her scooter, was catching up with work buddies post-layoffs. I'm incredibly lucky to be part of this fun, open-minded, and brilliant crew. They've fully embraced me, the lone non-native Spanish speaker.🥹 Also incredibly lucky that the club played some english pop tunes.😅Note to self: while a bit of alcohol can do wonders for my Spanish, it's not exactly a brain booster the next day! #resacaTipsy Talks with Terrific FilipinasWhat else? I had dranks with two extraordinary Filipinas that I’ve only met via social media—one in each city. We have no photographic evidence of our epic meet-ups (How very un-pinoy of us!) but we do have tipsy memories of boisterous laughter. Stay tuned for podcast convos with these amazing ladies on my personal podcast, "I Suck at Smalltalk".Podcasting PandemoniumSpeaking of which, the podcast is live and kicking! If you haven't already, check it out on Spotify and hit that follow button. The first episodes are up, and I'd love to hear your thoughts.The surprises just keep coming! I was tinkering around on Substack and discovered that all my audio recordings from my articles are available on Apple Music. Yep, my voice is out there in the digital cosmos (without me even knowing it!). 🎤Train TalesOh. And speaking of sucking at smalltalk… I’m actively working on overcoming the awkward jitters en español! In my train journey back home, I ended up having a long conversation with Luis Miguel, a 48-year-old truck driver from Toledo. We were both bored and starving, assuming there'd be onboard dining—only to discover there wasn't. It's funny how unexpected encounters can turn a mundane trip into an unforgettable one. We even shared a beer!Embracing the Zen LifeAs much as I appreciate the big city visit and the overdose of Asian (and Mexican!) flavor, I've come to realize that I'm not a big city aficionado anymore. Maybe it's a phase, or maybe I've just developed an appreciation for a more serene, laid-back lifestyle. Either way, I'm embracing the zen of home.I think that’s enough of the random stories for now! Thank you for indulging my musings. All these thoughts create webs of potential content that still overwhelm me. If only I could snap my finger and have everything written and ready!Paso a paso. Step by step.How have you been???Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support Janine’s writing (and audio recordingzzz!). This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

We may be a bit slow due to too much alcohol and too little sleep, so feel free to crank up the speed to 2x for some hilarious and heartwarming insights into our experiences abroad. I’m so, so glad we’ve found our new homes. But oh so sad we’re halfway around the world from each other.Podcast TranscriptI'm Janine Ramirez and this is I Suck at Small Talk.Today we skip the fluff and go straight into deep talk with my sister Patty.Hey Pat, welcome.Hey, hey, hey, hey.Thanks for having me, Ate.Okay, soFirst of all, I have a hangover-ish.I didn't drink that much but I slept super early in the morning because I attended a wedding yesterday and then there was a barrio fiesta called The Porronchos that we went to till past 4am.So that's, you know, disclaimer for this episode and Pat also.We went to Porronchos.Yeah.No, I have a hangover from a drink I had this afternoon with some friends.I had an Aperol Spritz, one lang, and then my head hurts now.So I think it's... Maybe it's the mix.You have to try other things.Yeah, I don't think it's my drink.Yeah, I, funnily, I also tried Aperol, like I ordered an Aperol Spritz for the first time, I think, ever yesterday.So we're like so connected.I know, I love Aperol.Even across the world.okay so um in my first batch of episodes i wanted to talk about moving away from our home country the philippines and i think it would be missing a big chunk of soul if i don't talk to my sister about it because as i mentioned we're in different sides of the world patty moved to australia about two years ago and just had herfairytale wedding that we all super had fun in this year and it looks great and perfect on paper but there's also a lot of complex emotions that you know come out and and just not necessarily all roses to deal with when you move abroad so I want to talk a little bit more about those things in this episodeAre you feeling good about that, Pat?Even with your family?Sounds good.Yeah, let's do it.Okay, so Pat's in Sydney, I'm in San Sebastian.We miss each other a lot.But funny, we also moved away for good around the same time, right, Pat?Yeah, when did you first move?Well, it was weird for us because maybe four years ago was when I first like stayed here for a few months.And then we went back to the Philippines and then there was like the pandemics, we got stuck there.And then we did like back and forth for two years.But like really deciding to stay here for good and setting up, you know, our home here was two years ago, which is same as you.Yeah, yeah.So poor mom.I know.We just said bye.Okay, first question, Pat.Can you share your expectations versus reality of living in Sydney?Were there any surprises?Were you well-prepared?Any challenges that stick out during your transition?Well, to be honest, I don't really think I had, like, expectations before moving here.Like, all I knew was that, okay, I'm moving to be with Mon, and I'm gonna be with Mon.And there wasn't really much else.But you've been there before, right?Before you really moved.Like, you would visit family there.Yeah, I had been here twice before.And, like, I knew it was gonna be, like, a good life here.Like,great public transport, just easier, like better quality of life, I guess.I knew that that was like a thing to expect.But thenLike the day-to-day and also like, I guess, the struggles or the challenging part of it.I had no idea.And I don't think you can fully really be ready to move away.I don't know.Maybe for some people, they're like, yes, I'm moving.But for me, especially, it happened during the pandemic.So it was like, I was stuck at home for two years, then suddenly, okay, bye, you're moving.So I didn't even get to say a proper goodbye to people.I didn't see my friends at all before I left.And so yeah, it was a little weird.But then, I guess like, overall, it was a good transition.But I think maybe the biggest surprise was how homesick I would be or like, I don't know, I think it was challenging in a way like it was still hard.And I didn't prepare for that.Is it the day-to-day or is it the people there that you didn't get to say goodbye to?What was the hardest part about leaving home for you?Yeah, the people, like, and just being in the comfort of home.And then, like, I was literally at home for two years.So I wasn't even going out of, like, the house.Yeah.And then I had to leave the country.No, mom was going out more than you.Yeah, she was the one going out.I wasn't talaga like really barely and if when I would it was super mask on and like running levels and then when big lang I moved here I had to travel take a plane and then here it was like you would just go out like it was normal.And I feel like it was such a big transition.COVID and the pandemic and being in quarantine did such a number on us, on so many people.It's like, I know, even without the moving away, the going from everything is a danger to you, right?Like, just the air that you breathe outside of your home, or even in your home, if someone got COVID in your house.is like a danger to your life.And then now we're so chill about it.I know.And I feel like we haven't even really, well, at least for me, processed the whole COVID thing and how much it actually impacted, like, me.Yeah.So I feel like there's some trauma there that hasn't been like,explore it i started reading victor frankl's what's the title like what is it meaning of life oh my gosh i swear my brain is not working but he survived like you know theWorld War II and being in a concentration camp and stuff like that and he's but he's like a psychiatrist psychologist so he would like he's sharing his his experience but also kind of psychoanalyzing it and going to like the core of what it is to be human and of course it's he mentions other studies of people that have been you know inone little environment without having to go out.And I'm not saying that we experienced, like, how bad it was for people that were, you know, in the concentration camps at the time or people that are, you know, locked in jail or in asylums and stuff like that.But parang, I guess, it was like a super tiny taste of it.Yeah.And I feel like itthat has a huge effect like I have a friend here na she's like a social worker and she works with like young not so young kids parang nearing adolescence and she was saying now even here there's a height a high in in like depression and their suicide attempts and stuff like that and I'm like holy crap and that's here like I feel likeYou know, in the Philippines, it was so much worse.And it was worse for people that were in like, condominiums.Oh, yeah.Like, in the group chats that we were all in, friends would be like, does anyone have a contact to like, a psychiatrist, like a friend is needing, like people were like, really needing to speak to someone.Yeah, and support.Yeah.It was hard.So yeah, this is the pandemic.We veer away from it.We're moving away from it.But it's still important.We can talk about it another time.Yeah.And I think because it happened around that time.So it was like a part of like my experience moving.It happened during COVID.Yeah.Like, for you, it was all at once.Right?Yeah.Like, you're...Oh my god, I swear my brain is super crap today.But I'm imagining like you were in a cage, right?Like you're an animal that's in a cage, and then transported somewhere and then set free in a totally different place.Like how would that feel?You're like, wait a minute, this is not my environment.So yeah, the transition is extra tough and strange.Plus, you're supposed to be super happy because it's Sydney.Exactly.Yeah, like it was mixed emotions.Like, okay, you're supposed to be living your best life here.But then there's it's you know, it wasn't as smooth as I thought.Like there was that part of like, getting homesick and then just being like, a bit lost and not sure about being here and questioning and all of that stuff.ButIt's a great tier though.Love it.But you know, yeah.Okay, I have a question.Because I also ask myself sometimes and the answer might be like, yes and no at the same time.But yeah, you feel like you belong in Sydney now that Sydney is your home?Yeah.I think but the belonging, what about like, feeling that you belong there?Hmm.Yeah.I mean,Like you said it's a yes and no kind of thing like there are moments where it's yeah like this is where I'm meant to be whatever and then there are days where it's like oh my god I'm still so um you know it's foreign things are foreign or I'm like a little bit can't relate to you know.like what the locals are talking about.Because parang when you so I think but I think in general, yes, like, and I'm slowly starting to accept that my experience here, like my immigrant experience moving here, it's like not going to be the same, obviously, as people who were like born and raised here.And so I'm like, as I amSo what are the momentsEarlier, we were super laughing.Anyway, what are the moments that made you or that make you feel like you belong?Is it when you're with Mon's family or at work?What are those moments that you're like, hey, I'm in Sydney and I belong here?For me, it's when I'm wandering by myself.Sorry, Mon.Obviously when I'm with Mon, I feel like I belong.It feels like home being with him here and Hopper.It's home.But then when I walk the streets, when I commute, when I interact with like, you know, when I go to a cafe and like have conversations with the people, you know, I feel like, yeah, small talk, which I'm getting a bit like better at.since having moved here but that's I'm still awkward but parang I feel like that I feel like I belong I can't explain how but like right it's like it's like you're feeling independent yeah yeah oh my gosh so so me also you know like in Manila you don't really greet peopleAnd I was like, I'm sorry if I, like, in school, in a tene or whatever, if you're like, oh my gosh, super suplada because she never said hi to you.But parang I don't feel comfortable saying hi to people that I'm not sure naman if they remember me or whatever.Yeah.And even, di ba, parang if you're in the elevator, let's say elevator at work, there are people that you see every day there.But you don't, you're not gonna be like, hey,Good morning, right?Yeah.Yeah.And I think it, it boils down to parang the trust that we have in society, in general, parang in Manila, I guess, because there's so many people, there's so many scammers, and stuff like that, you kind of keep to yourself and you're more defensive, even when driving, right?But here, there's so much parangtrust well now like sometimes i'm already there have been you know people like my my bike was robbed and stuff like that but in general there's more trust like with people that you can just be like hi good morning and they're like do small talk yeahI think also because Mikkel is so good at it and he gets pissed like even when we were living in Manila he would be like in the elevator with I don't know someone else that lives in the building and he'd be like hi and they don't respond.He gets mad.That's so rude.how can you not say like I said hi and like they didn't even say anything and I'm like it's just how it is here I'm so sorry oh back home back home in Manila ah yeah yeah yeah okay yeah for sure they'll greet you yeah but here also sometimes when parang we have a neighbor that's a little bit parang serious and just like like hi like that and then after like me saying what a weirdoeveryone else is like hi how are you like good oh the weather you know what i mean just there like elevator small talk or like haven't seen you in a while yeah i don't know also like for back home because you know how like manila's so small i don't know there's always like i feel like i felt it's weird that you say it's so small yes i mean yeah are we like more judgy we're so judgyRight?Yeah.Yeah, I'm not gonna pretend.I'm not.here it's like no one really cares just be you yeah i kind of like that no one really cares or like when i moved here i feel like no clean slate right no one knows me i can be whoever like i can be whoever i want to be and yeah there's no yeah like there's no one knows like how i normally am or whatever so like rightyou kind of are free to be whoever you want.Yeah, just likeIt's true.Parang, let's say there, in the Philippines, I already was kind of stuck in the mode of if I see someone that I know, like, I don't want to say hi.Like, I get, like, I try to, like, avoid or something.Literally walk the other direction sometime.Or like, I'll go na lang muna to this store.I need pala to buy something in Watson's.But here, there, it's like, why was I so like that?I don't know, parang now I wonder like, what, is it there parang super ultra insecurity?Or, I don't know.Or also just like, the judgment?I don't know, because people back home are also really judgy.I don't know what it is then.But like, the other week, here, I was so surprised at myself.I ran into like,someone of like a common friend.No, not a common friend, a friend's friend.So like, okay, a friend of mine had her like birthday, a few months back, and then invited me and then a bunch of her other friends.And that girl was also there.So I met her in that party.And then I saw her recently in a store.And I was like,As in, she didn't see me.I literally went up to her and was like, Hey, Nicole!Sorry, I just said her name.Oh my God, you remembered her name.Good thing.I hate names.And then she didn't remember me at first.So I was a little like, Oh my God, should I have done this?And then I was like, Oh, we met at so-and-so's birthday.Blah, blah, blah.And then we had a bit of a conversation.And then she was asking me,What do you have in your basket?Because I was shopping and then it was like nice and I was like It was like that's great that you can just do that.Yeah, and I guess once you do it, it's like it's not so bad You know, it's not so weird and like you're happy you did itI think I have the pressure, the opposite pressure now because Mikael is like, ugh, so rude, like don't say hi.I'm like, oh my gosh, that used to be me.That used to be me.Don't judge me.I'm gonna change, right?And he is like, I call him the alcalde because he knows everyone.Like we can'tgo to a place without bumping into at least one person that he knows so sometimes when he's like talking to someone and like we bump into that person regularly like I say hi to them na I have to probably say hi in the street and sometimes they don't remember me but they'll just be like Mikael's girl just name dropLike the time that I made Kwento, the motorcycle.The guy who was trying to help you?Yeah, so I don't think I posted it so I can make it Kwento again but I was practicing on the motorcycle because now I have my license.like the motorcycle it's not like the side stand like you have to put it on like a higher stand and then you have to put your weight on something and lift it up and for me I don'tI don't get it yet like I'm I struggle so I was driving at night just practicing while Mikkel was fishing in this place this other town and then there was like this guy right by the pedestrian crossing and I was like am I gonna like stop for this guy to cross and then he like whips out a bottle of beer and really like like pours it likebottoms up and I'm like okay he's not gonna cross yet so I went and then I parked and then while I was parking I was super struggling like trying to get the motorcycle up on its stand and then the guy comes walking by the same guy with a bottle and I'm like oh my god the pressure like he's like gonna see me struggling so I stopped firstAnd I saw him and I'm like, wait a minute, like, we ran into this guy before and Mikael has talked to him a lot and he would like, he said hi to me and you know, parang acknowledge my presence.So I'm like, hey, you're Mikael's friend, right?Like Martiha.And he was like, yes.Teamwork!Teamwork!Teamwork!I'm like, Mika was fishing there, like come say hi.So we're walking, parang buddy-buddy.And then Mika was like, what?Like, who is Janine talking to here in this place?Like, this is not even where we live.Like, what the hell?And then, like, I arrive with this friend.And he even made it quid with his mom because he was so proud na parang she's like a local now that she runs into people.Thanks to him, but those are the times that I feel like I belong.Although, there are times that I don't in terms of the language.When it's my first time talking to someone and they don't know that I'm not a Spanish speaker.So I feel like... Yeah, I feel like with you, it must even be more heightened because of the language barrier.Yeah, like if it's someone there like introduced to me and kinda knows that I'm not from here so they're more understanding of the fact that I don't, like it's not my first language and I'm still learning it.yeah but they're super nice about it like once they know like yesterday in in the wedding one of the the girlfriends that i only met once because she's like one of the new girlfriends um love it and when she later on in the night she asked me like so how long have you been here now i'm like oh like for good like two years and she's like oh my gosh only two years and then she goes like was i talking to you too fast like do you want me to talkI feel like she's so nice about it and so understanding.She's like, I thought you were here for like 10 years or something.I'm like, no, no, no, super new.And when it comes to grammar, they're not, they don't have, like us, the word barok, that you feel bad for having wrong grammar.Or like a grammar Nazi.Yeah, they're not grammar Nazis.They're so supportive of you speaking it and, you know, like,no like you speak so I'm like I know that I make my my grammatical mistakes but I guess like as long as you understand what I'm trying to say like that's the bottom line although like Mikaela has friends that will correct me but they'll be like I'm correcting you so you learn okay like don't worry so yeah it's nice but okay so we feel like we belong now are there moments that you feel like an outsider still like oh crap likeYeah, I mean, yeah, like when I'm hanging out with like my, like my office mates, they'll make cuenta stuff about their childhood or about school life.That's super different, obviously, like, I have zero idea about what they're talking about, like, in year ganyan, like,do you remember this thing and then all students six it's not like that yeah and like let's say intrams or whatever like they have their own things not all schools do it on the same year so they all kind of like know or even like we were talking about it the other day too like you know how like we used to wrap our books in like the plastic wrap yeah plastic they have their own thingAnd they were talking about this material, whatever they used to protect their books.And I was just like, oh my god, even like those things.I'm like, we use plastic, like wrapper anyways.So those little things, like I feel still like, oh my god, outsider, but then it's, it's minor.Yeah, I guess it's just a learning curve.Because it's like, okay, like, what does it mean when they say this?And when they talk about this?And the more that people make cuento to you, like, the more you get it, in a way.Yeah, and like, I've just sort of like,I'm leaning on it where if they talk about something, I'm like, oh, what's that?Can you explain it to me?Instead of just being awkward and sitting there.Yes, that's the key to cracking small talk, is be curious.Yes, you know, that's also the key to cracking social anxiety.Really?Which my therapist, yeah.Oh my gosh.Like, parang, curiosity.Yeah, you don't know it.Because usually, before— And that's okay.Yeah, when I didn't know something, it's like, oh, I feel bad.Like, I'm such an outsider.I like, I'm so OP here in the corner.I have no idea what anyone's talking about.I'll just be quiet.And like, I'll, I'll feel bad.Yeah, whereas like, yeah, own it.You don't know you're not from here.You're not supposed to know then just like, ask, and like, yeah, learn about it.And then you can even be like, Oh, back home.It's like this.And they learn something from you and they get to know you more.Oh, that's so good.Whoever's listening.I mean, anyone's listening.Curiosity.Yeah, that really helped me a lot.But it's still hard.It's still not like, parang there's effort parin that has to go into like, okay, I'm going to be curious now.Right.But anyways, but yeah.All in all, I feel like those little moments of feeling like I don't belong, they're minor.Yeah, parang the other side of the coin weighs heavier.Yeah, same.I feel the same.Oh, we found our new homes away from home.I know.I just like I'm still wanting to build like more relationships like more friendships also because that's another thing like when you're new to a place, of course it helps when you have like people that you can spend time with and all of that and that'sthat's hard also too that's hard it's hard to find when people that you really really wanna hang out with and spend time with right it's like going on dates but for friends kind of is there like a good vibe here am i feeling comfortable here because and it's okay if not and even if someone hangs out with me and they don't feel that feelingYou know, I won't take it so personally.It's just the way it is.Sometimes you're feeling the person and sometimes you're not.Is there something you want to share to the class, Ate?I feel like that's coming from somewhere.I was thinking about it there.Since Mikkel is such a popular person.And I love his barkada there.I love spending time with them.They're such great amazing people and the girlfriends and wives also sometimes will plan something together so it's great but I want my peeps that INo, not necessarily through him.I don't know why.I don't think it's being competitive or like, this is mine and that's yours.I guess it's like a personal challenge for myself.Like wanting to know that I can have amazing friends on my own and work is such a bigyou know way to do that and yeah i think i've met like really amazing people but what sucks is that we well i'm not in the company anymore but we worked remotely so no one is from here and i just oh i wish i always tried to convince like some of them to move to move like when they when someone like visits like even just for a bit becauseYeah.Yeah, I do get along with them.I'm gonna see them in the end of September.And I'm excited.I always tell them where do they live?You guys are my first like my first friends here.Um, a lot of them live in Madrid, and Barcelona.And then there's one there's some that live in like Sevilla and in Malaga, I think also so.Medj, like, scattered.There was one that was living in Bilbao that's just, like, an hour away from here.And I met up with her, like, a few times because she's, like, amazing.But she wasn't, like, originally from there.So parang she took, um, like, a doctorate course.So she lived in the Netherlands for a few months.And then now she's back in her hometown, like, closer to Madrid.So no one is near me.And it's sad.It's hard to make friends.My therapist.And to find that you're there, you're excited or someone to call to just have a drink.Yeah, yeah, exactly.My therapist gave me this exercise before.It was really hard for me to do and it felt really weird.But she was like, make a list of all of your friends, like from actual friends to like acquaintances or someone you like literally just had one passing conversation with.And then, parang, think about how you can take your relationship to the next level.I was like, whoa, isn't that like super creepy?Yeah, but it was like therapist approved.Let's say for this friend, this is the level we're at right now.We exchange hellos in the office or whatever.What's the next step?Maybe for her, I can ask her out for coffee.And that's my next step to build that relationship.And then this friend, oh, we've gone out one time.What's the next?Oh, maybe I can invite her to my birthday or whatever.Oh, that's like consciously improving your relationships.That's amazing.Yeah, yeah.And like, in that way, it's like, there's a, there's a goal.It's like little baby steps of like, okay, how and then yeah, you're analyzing the level you're at with each person and how you can take it or maybe Yeah, you can be like, oh, this person.I actually don't really like her so much.Yeah, so we can, we can leave her there.Like, she's fine there.Yeah, exactly.I love our hater side.So that's another tip guys, listeners.Yeah, that's another tip.And I'm going to also link some podcasts.When I first started listening to podcasts, I remember one that was about or that was like an interview with this psychologist that wrote a book called Platonic.And it was about the importance of all our relationships like we're so used to I don't know why if it's Disney or whatever to and I guess like naturally to put all ourI'mum maybe they're the life partner your go-to person yes is your romantic partner but maybe you have a friend that helps you improve in terms of I don't know like being active maybe you go with that person to the gym all the time and that's that person for that part of you that you want to improve or I don't know maybe you wanna maybe you're artsy and you love drawing and maybe you have like a friend that you go somewhere with the like sketch you know what I mean so it was likekind of it's so simple but I realized how how eww like cheesy cringy I've been in terms of you know how I looked at relationships and giving my all to just like the one relation it's so grossgross and that's why i want to like make sure i talk to you and you know like that's why i'm doing this yeah this whole experiment so that i can still maintain my although i've only been talking to you so much and no one else is messaging me so please okay like see you and have conversations with me but yeah and there another podcast wasabout the key to happiness or being content in life and having like a good life and relationships is one of those things like you have to have strong social bonds.And I think it comes out more or like the need for it comes out more when you move away.Like you realize, yeah, oh s**t.You take it for granted when it's just there.Yeah, a bit.It's so easy.Yeah, especially like, oh, these have been my friends from high school.Like, like, yeah, you have your barcada from high school, barcada from first job, barcada from college.Yeah.And then your family, like it'sYou know, you just have people.And then when you move away, it's like, oh my gosh, like, I have to start from scratch.And it's not as easy when you don't have like a school environment or a work environment.And you're not from the same, you didn't grow up there.Yeah.So yeah, it's true.Interesting.In Manila, it's so easy to be like, to find the connection.And then biglang, you're connected na.And that somehow makes it better and easier.Like, oh, you know, Ganyan, who's a really good friend of mine.you have like a base to build from but I also like that you know in a new place you're consciously looking for your like people that you get along with or something and yeah like it's not just that they're thereHangover Chat with My SisterI think that's also a barrier, I guess.The cultural, how you speak to each other, the jokes, it's different.Yeah, like the jokes, we're so witty.But I super realize how witty Filipinos are, na parang a conversation about something, there's just always some sort of hyrid or joke that's gonna pop out to make it lighter and more fun.and yeah very true here parang not as much but i'm like me the one that doesn't really speak the language i'm the one that will like make jokes about it or try to like word play things or whatever so yeah i miss i miss that and that's why yeah call me peopleOkay, Pat, I don't want this to be too long.So I'm gonna go straight to the question I want to ask everyone that, you know, agrees to be on an episode.Because this is called I Suck at Small Talk.So I want to ask like, what do you think?What's something that you think that you really suck at?And how are you working to overcome it?Well, I mean, I don't want to just say Smalltalk because that's yours, but Smalltalk is one of mine also.I mean, it's the name of the show.I was trying to think of something else, but then I think Smalltalk.That works perfectly.Hello, if every guest says at Smalltalk, then I'll have like gazillion million tips.Yup, because I'm gonna have gazillion million guests, but no, but go, go, go.Sorry.And then in line with that, I think, because I am really like anxious, like in social situations.And I think I have like imposter syndrome wherever I go.So like, I think how it comes out when I'm like talking to people, it's always like, Oh, I don't even have some anything interesting to say.I won't say it.Or like, I don't know.It's like, yeah, it's like, I did not know this about you, Pat.And I do not see you this way at all.It's like,Well, I still have the memories of you as a kid, like, you know, wanting to perform for people.You want me to cartwheel?I'll cartwheel.Seriously, sometimes I'm like, I need that girl to come out.I believe in the cartwheel singing dancer within.I need her back.She needs to make a comeback.But yeah, I don't know if it's after having moved here also where you sometimes feel a little smaller than everyone else.I don't know.Oh no, my camera's dying.I don't know.But yeah, there's something that I just feel like always second guessing myself when Imeet people and introduce myself.And I feel like I don't present myself in a way that's like confident and like, able to, I don't know.So basically, yeah, so I think basically, it's like, self confidence.And like the holes in the whole small talk space.And just in general, I would say.I'm so happy with our convo, Pat.This has to be a regular thing.So at first, I wanted two podcasts, like this one and one with Patty.We were thinking that we should have one.But Pat maybe doesn't really want a podcast so I can just have her over regularly in my podcast to talk and I think that's gonna happen a lot.yeah because I love our convos and you've given so many helpful tips and I want to thank you to my confidence yes thank you I know I really feel like yeah I feel like I need to build it again maybe it's because yeah I moved here and so I feel like I'm not I don't know how to explain it but before I thinkme like when I became a mixed VJ it really changed me cuz yeahlike and I still felt really awkward while being a VJ and had to get through that but it like pushed me that I have no choice I have to interview people I have to you know what I mean yeah I have to be like hosting an event with loads of people and it's like scary but constantly pushing myself out there and meeting people and I guess having friends that still love mein spite of all of these things and I realized na when I'm with family and when I'm with friends like you know that I already know and get along with or office mates like once I've warmed up and they get to know me like that's the me that's realRight?Like, okay, I can joke and I can be kengkoy and I can, you know, be weird and stuff like that.And you have that too.Like, your friends, I mean, your wedding is proof of how, I don't want to call it extroverted, but how comfortable and confident you can be.Right?Like, bust a move, rap away.I mean, you're freaking the best Eminem rapper ever, Pat.Don't ever forget it.Better than Eminem.Did you hear that, Eminem?So to end this episode, I will make kwento of when we were in San Francisco and Trey, Patty's cousin, took us to a karaoke joint.Now there, karaoke is freaking public.It's like a mini stage.You get on stage and everyone sees you sing.and Patty chose the song Love The Way You Lie and it had to be like the Rihanna the backup singing chorus but Pat rapped like oh my god like it was her coming out party you know what's Eminem has that movie na parang he has when he actually when he parang is so galing na and everyone's like whoa like that was your momentLike the people, I saw people like, people were so shocked.People's face were like, whoa, like mind blown.And then there was a guy cleaning in the back, like a black dude cleaning in the back like with a broom and came out with a broom just to see like, who is this amazing rapper?I just know, but so true.Like some guy with a broom came out and was like, what's happening here?Who is this amazing talent?Why wasn't I discovered?Where was the music producer in the room?We should've stayed and did rounds in different karaoke joints and for sure you'd be discovered.You're gonna be the next rapper.Who's the one singing Triangle?What's that?Pyramid?Teresa Mpenko?Discovered by Ellen DeGeneresOkay, exactly.45 minutes.We're going to end there and we're gonna have more of Patty in another episode because she is amazing.And I'm sure she's gonna conquer this confidence and imposter syndrome issue.Thank you everyone so many people maybe one or two people.Hi mom.Hey mom.Hey Tina Pam.Anna, Anna are you listening?Mon, Mon, your mic setup.Sponsored by Mon's mic setup, mic and video setup.Yeah.But thanks, Pat.That was so fun.I'm sure we're gonna make a story after that.But there to everyone that's listening, we've only scratched the surface today and I bet you have your own stories and experiences to share.So don't be shy.Reach out to us.Subscribe to our blogs.And let us know your thoughts, doubts, and questions and struggles about living abroad or wanting to live abroad.I totally went into DJ mode.But there.Thanks guys!Ba-bye! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

I vividly remember celebrating Issa’s first job abroad in Singapore, being her first visitor, and exploring Tokyo together. Issa is not only a dear friend but also one of the few who has ventured to visit me here in San Sebastian. Her career in marketing, coupled with the joys and challenges of motherhood, offers incredible insights and inspiration. Also insightful: our cringey memories of suffering through long distance relationships—WAH! Join us for a personal and heartwarming conversation about friendship, career, LDR, and the beautiful chaos of life across four countries.Podcast TranscriptWelcome to I Suck at Small Talk!I'm Janine Ramirez and today I have someone that I'm uber comfy with to ease myself into these interviews but that's also so weird interviewing people that you know so well.But I will introduce her to you.So the amazing, amazing Issa Abrillo Velete who has been my soul sister since freshman orientation at Ateneo.So I remember meeting her for the first time.And it was crazy.Like, I don't know, there was that game that we were like smashing into each other, which is so violent.I don't know why that was the game and the orientation.And then... Yeah, na parang chain.Like you're linked in a chain.Then you have to like break the chain or something.And it's just...From the start, intense na yung relationship na.And I remember her getting her job in Singapore and her telling me and me jumping on my bed like, oh my God.And I think like right after I booked tickets, my flights to go there na wala pa siya dun.I'm gonna visit you.And then from Singapore, she even went toTokyo also for work and then to Rotterdam in the Netherlands and now she's in Parma in Italy so all of this while juggling a successful career and her family life I'm so amazed at ease and that's why I'm having her on my podcast so thank you Issa for for joining me in ISOC at SmalltalkHow are you?I'm good.But also, I agree with Patty that you don't suck at small talk.Maybe I talk too much at small talk?Yeah.Like, this is not the right name for your podcast, but it's okay.I was telling her, it's like, I realized after my conversation with her that it's something more internal.Like, it's me.But of course, like with you guys, it's not na kasi small talk.No, it's not.Like, and maybe it was more beforehand and certain types of people that I really, like, I'm like frozen and I don't know what to say.Because I was like so plada, right?In college.You were, but I think over time, which I think a lot of people do, you sort of learned how to talk, to do small talk because it's more about asking questions.And every time I introduce you to somebody, that's what you do anyway.You like start talking to them and you start asking questions.Janine RamirezBut it's not your fault na, it's theirs.They suck at small talk.I'm going to call it they's.They suck at small talk.It's not your problem.Okay, game.I have questions and I want to know the answers.It's not just like sucking at small talk but there are a lot of insecurities and struggles that we have.And I've always admired your confidence because it's likeIt's like so natural and when you have a goal, like you go for it without a doubt, without hesitation and it's like, yeah, like fearlessly.Like let's say, Manila to Singapore, were you super sure na parang okay, I want this job, I'm gonna go for it?Like what was that like?Right there!How does that even come out?Natural?Natural.No, but it's like, I was thinking about it because di ba you were sharing with me some of the questions that you were gonna ask.But then I was really thinking about, was I ever scared moving to Singapore?And I cannot remember feeling scared with Singapore.It was just excited.I was just super, super excited.I really don't remember fearing any, like, oh, what if I get there and I'm not gonna enjoy it?Ibang nga all these questions.And I was thinking about why I wasn't scared.And I really think it's just because I'm lucky to have that sense of security at home.So parang if anything goes wrong, if I can't pack it, if it doesn't go the way I think it should go or the way I want it to go,I have my family at home who I know will not judge me.And I have you guys who I'm sure you guys will be my hype men.So I think it was that.It wasn't scary because even when I was younger, I've always wanted to be independent.And my family hated it so much because I was like, I want to live in a condo by myself.At 18, I'm like, how do you have money?How would you get a condo?Are you gonna pay for it?Who's gonna pay for your rent?Like, I remember my dad and mom laughing because I was like, I was like 18 and wanting to live on my own because everybody was in frickin' in Katipunan, what were the names of those condos?Ay, yung mga dorms and ano.Prince David's.Oh my God.Prince David's.So in my head, we're like, oh.Burgundy.Ay, Burgundy.Burgundy plus.I was like, how?How can people, why can other people live on their own?So I remember even in college, I was like that.But you lived so close.I know, I know.I lived 20 minutes away from Kapipunan.No, but then it was also cool because when the Singapore offer came, before that, siguro a year before, Marvs and I were talking about it.They were like, maybe at one point we should try living somewhere kasi when will you do it pa?Like when will we try?And then it came, so both of us were like thinking about it and we never really searched until the opportunity came.So for me, when things like that happen, parang you don't question it, diba?You need to sort of go forI think it's a cliche.Mentally, you were prepared because you've been thinking about it and you've been wanting it and then you have the support system naman na you know there parang no matter what happens, whether you succeed or fail, you're good anyway.But was it hard?Singapore.I don't know.Yeah, because there's like a really fun, I guess, and supportive also Filipino community there.So I guess no, but did you ever feel homesick despite all of that or no na?Singapore not so much because only when I miss you guys or when I miss family like events and stuff and you kind of want to be part of that.At one point, I think we had like aJanine RamirezNot so much because it was just so new to live alone, to have money of my own.Diba?Like Singapore for myself and even for Marvs, that was your first foray into just thinking about yourself.Not having somebody tell you what time you should go home, what... Diba?When you don't live with your parents.Yun yun eh.That was the first time.So... Honestly, I can't remember any fear with Singapore.And like you said, we had such a bigA journey with Filipina Mom Issa AbrilloAnd so we managed to go home every, nga nga siguro four times a year if I remember right.Three or four times a year.So it wasn't that scary because you could always go.And like people like you coming.Yeah, you were like a hostel, okay?Every week or something, you have to book in advance because there's always someone staying with you.But then you were the first visitor, right?And you came talaga before everybody else.And I didn't even know Singapore then.But it was really fun, diba?So no, Singapore was easy.It was an easy choice to make.I have to say though that I applaud that you were so confident even if you had a relationship.Because when I look back, and it's so gross, okay, I find myself so gross, that it was such a big deal for me when I'd have to leave Manila for work and leave a partner behind and parang the whole missing thing.Parang now that I'm older, I'm like, what?I had more fun!Ay nako!But was like LDR hard?Ours was fake LDR.We were apart for four months.And in that four months, he came.So super fast lang.But we made that decision because I knew that he could come.Because at that time, Singapore was still offering long-term passes for people to move.So we knew it was gonna be easy.So I remember I also had another long-distance relationship before.Yes!Are you sure you wanna mention?No.My point is...My point is, with Marvs, it wasn't really long distance.But it only works when you guys have a plan.Even with all my other friends who've done long distance, I only see it working when they know, okay, this is our timeline.This is when we're gonna see each other.Kasi without that, you're gonna get used to the fact that you're apart.And I don't really see the point unless you know you're gonna be together.But that's me.Other people can make it work.Me, I cannot.I don't know how.Without a deadline or a tension.Yeah, me too.I can't do it.But I think you have something to look forward to.At least you know you're going to see each other.Because I also had LDR and it was like, when are we even gonna see each other?It was so hard.It made it so hard.But if you have a date and the tickets and all of that ready, parang I think that makes it...Janine Ramirez titled Global Insights A Journey with Filipina Mom Issa Abrillosomebody physically around.Yeah, me also.I like hugs.So there, that's the advice, guys, for LDR.Make sure you have your timelines.Toto naman, di ba?Yeah, yeah.But I don't know now.Maybe that's our generation.We're old nais.Maybe, no.Maybe.I'm speaking lang for what I think I could do.But either way, I don't think I could do LDR.Kaya nga, four months lang eh.After that, wala na.Okay, ayoko na ng heart stuff because who knows what's going to happen.But you've had like, there, your corporate adventures are really scattered around the world.Do you have a favorite city that you lived in?That you'd consider living in again?I don't know if I'd consider living there again, but I really love Japan.Like, Tokyo was... And you know, right?Yeah!I think Japan is one of the countries that I've visited, like, a lot more times.Usually, I don't like going back to a country that I've already been to or the city.Parang, ah, I'll spend my money on something.But Japan is like, just... I love it also.It's so worth it.I'm so jealous that you got to live, that you got to, yeah, but it's like short lang.But anyway.Yeah, but you were the same.You did all of your, like, different, you lived almost in the same places that I did.I mean, you did Amsterdam, so you went to Netherlands, you did Tokyo, and then you did Dubai, was it?Yeah.Dubai?Yeah, Dubai and Doha.Oh, Doha.And what, what's there another one?No, I think that was it.Yeah.I just followed you.Thank you, you guys.Subscribe to my newsletters.Joke lang.But okay, so you've lived in all these.So what, okay, give me the lowdown of how long where?Like Singapore, how long were you there?Almost five years.So, 2011 to 2016.Tagalos.And then, Tokyo was 2016 to 2020.Our shortest so far was the Netherlands which was 2020 in the middle of the pandemic until 2022.Gulo.And then, now 22 to 23.One year na in Italy.Actually, we just celebrated our one year in Italy.Wow!Congratulations!I can't even say anything.But yeah, like what about Japan do you love?I mean, I'm sure you'll agree.One, the food is just so MG.Like, honestly, any kind of food.Yeah, but we're both living in places now that are also very, like, foodie.I know, that's true, except I prefer Japanese food, so that's maybe one.And then two, wala, parang Japan is just so cool.Like, the vibe and the culture.Parang you feel the culture so much, but then you also have, which is a bit traditional, but then you have like this super cool, hip, effortless vibe.I don't know, wheneverLike whenever I walk the streets of Tokyo or even in the mga small cities or towns around, somehow there's always that one or two streets and you're like, my God, the stores are so cool, the people are so cool, everyone just looks... It's not even about beautiful, parang it's just, I don't know, the craft, the way they think, the... I don't know, it's... Yeah, the whole package.I remember, Marvs, we were deciding at that time, diba?I had an option to leave the company and work for a different company in Paris.So we're like, okay.Two different cities, one European, one Asian, both with languages that you need to learn.You need to learn French to live in Paris.You need to learn Japanese to live in Japan.Where do you want to live?And I was arguing with him because I was like, but I want, in my head kasi, like, we want to go global.We were living in Asia already, so we need to go Europe.And then he was like, but babe, when have you ever met anybodyA journey with Filipina Mom Issa AbrilloCome on, Issa.Japan, Japan.Exception.But it's true.Even if we live in Asia, Japan is its own animal.It's so different.It's an alien world that I absolutely love.I wanna go back!We're trying to go visit next year.Because we haven't visited since we left.Because we left in the pandemic.Like March 2020.No, August 2020.So...Ang galing niyo talaga, Is.I swear.So purposeful all the time and then you make it happen.Because there, I think you guys were really thinking of living in Japan, right?Even before the opportunity presented itself.Whenever I have career problems, I like talking to Issa.But this is like new that I never really had to ask.But making friends in a new city.So when we were in college, like I was like super shy.You're super shy!And you had like so many friends.And it's just through Issa that I kind of like know who is who.Because if not, I'd just be in my cave.But what is your trickto making friends and especially, you know, outside of our country, like in a new city.I don't think there's any trick.I think, one, I think it helps when you really like talking to people.I mean, I'm super extroverted, so it's different, right?Like the comfort level when there's new people is different for different people.For me, it's like when there's new people, it's like, oh, somebody to talk to.So parang that in itself already removes all the barriers.Although the older I get, the harder it gets.The older we get, the harder it gets.But it's different.Like, new person, okay, yeah, sometimes it's exciting to get to know the person.But sometimes the connection, di ba parang... It's different, Jan.Like, to have someone to meet up with and talk to, but to have someone that you feel like is a friend for life.Was that hard for you to find also in the cities you've lived?Weirdly enough, there was always somebody that we found, that we could, that I found, like me personally, that I could talk to.But it's not, it got harder the older we got talaga.Like the, especially Netherlands and Italy, parang, kasi you also have the aspect of kids.So,It could help or not help.Because then you have more parents to speak to.But then, like you said, you don't have connections with everybody.So you don't really want to waste your time talking to someone you're not interested in talking to, right?So it's like, the first step is, okay, try to see if it's a connection.And if it's not, like, something that you'll be so comfortable with.I still say hi when I see them.I do small talk.Yowls.But...But hindi na yung parang, yeah.Especially if you don't have that much time, right?Exactly.Kasi when will you do it?Like, I really felt in Netherlands and here, the kid aspect really takes up so much of your time.So, it's either... And we don't have help, right?So you need to get a babysitter for you to be able to go out.So we've been trying to do that better.Para Marvs and I have a bit more adult time.But it's not easy.And you really need to...A Journey with Filipina Mom Issa AbrilloWhy are we so like philosophical and parang always talking about life?But I think we share, we have that in common that we don't like the parang random like light conversations and I think we're also the same in that we're just honestYeah, I'll tell you even if it's like a crappy part of my life.Yeah, what do you want to know about my exes?Is it like to the point of too much information?Yeah, like sometimes it's like ay, parang baka I should have said it.Baka they're like uncomfortable, right?Like sometimes I remember I always, now na, I always ask like if it's not too personal.Like I kinda add that as a disclaimer.Like if it's okay with you or you don't have to tell me but if you feel comfortable in telling me, you can tell me.Otherwise, sometimes it's right, di ba?We're so open.That maybe for other people, it's like, why is she so open?We're not like best friends.I know!With this parang blog and newsletter thing, parang I got messages na like, thank you for opening up.I'm like, it's not just me!Okay, so speaking of like deep talk, like deep s**t, I'm going to make you pull all your wisdom together and reflect on, out of all the, like your entire life experience, your career in like so many different countries and from each country, what is like the most valuable lesson that you learned like in each country?Ang hirap na.Ang hirap, no?Hello, I gave you this question beforehand.I know, I know, I know.Tingga ba?Hindi.I know I'm telling you that I had a hard time thinking about it.Like, kanina I was like, what did I learn?Where did I learn everything?No, but Singapore, I think.It's really funny because when I thought about it, I felt like everything I learned was always something that drove me towards the next.Feeling ko, I mean, that's how I thought about it.Kasi like, in Singapore, it was just about how big the world is and how much stuff there is to see and to do and to learn from.Parang that was really it.Okay, there's so many things out there that we never, that I at least, never really experienced or thought about when we were in Manila.Because I think maybe culturally my family wasn't so much into that.So it wasn't fed into me by family.It was just something I had to learn or to see.So I think Singapore for me was that.Like shucks, the world is so big.There's so much we can gain from it.And I just wanna get that experience.So it was that.And then Tokyo was interesting because that was the first time I became a mom.And then it's Tokyo.So it was a combination of all the mom stuff which is essentially beyond yourself and how do I learn how to raise my child in this environment sort of lesson.I can't think of a proper lesson but it was that learning that I was getting.But then also it was about maybe the big lesson there wasCulture is so strong in some countries and you need to learn how to adapt and how to... How do you effectively make an impact or how do you effectively drive change without disrespecting culture?I think for me that was a huge lesson at least from the professional piece but actually even personally kasi the culture was just so ingrained there so you cannot laugh at different cultures and you cannot say one is better than the other but if indeed you felt there was something you wanted to change for me it was thatHow do I do that without the disrespect?And with a proper level of... Like still honoring the culture that is, but parang pushing also for change and innovation.And not coming in as saying, I know better than you, right?Because that's the worst thing you can do.Oh, that's so annoying.Anyway, mayayami akong hugot with that.Kasi when you come in especially you're not from that country and then you come in and you say you think you're better, like why?Why would you even think that?So for me that was really in Tokyo.It was that combination of being a mom and then that piece.And then of course with my husband pa.So actually Tokyo for us was so pivotal because I think that's also where weI really understood what it meant to be partners.Me and Marvs.Kasi grabe the sacrifices both of us had to make eh.So it was, for me, that's why maybe to me Tokyo was so special.Because you learn so many things there.And Netherlands was the pandemic.So... What did any of us learn in the pandemic?So honestly, in the Netherlands... No, actually, in the Netherlands, one of the big... Because their culture is so direct, right?So I think for me, the biggest learning is if you don't ask, you don't get.So you need to say it.If you don't say it, you're not gonna get it.Because that's really how they are.They just say it.Not necessarily always in a rude way, sometimes in a rude way.But you need to ask.If there's something you want or if you don't ask, you're not even gonna know the answer.So you need to ask.And in Italy, we're still learning and figuring out.Because honestly, it's like Manila.Like the culture is like Manila's values.Like, that was the first thing both of us were thinking about.Kasi one, it's about family.Family is so big.It's about food.The same way that we talk about food, other food while we're eating, it's the same here.Like, we're eating yummy pasta and we're all like, oh, you know, the ragu pasta and that kind of stuff.And the salumi in this place is so good, you should go there next time.Like, it's so Filipino.And then all the inefficiency and the bureaucracy is the same.There's that here also.Government, same.And then also a little bit of the, I would say the patriarchal thinking is the same.Diba?Because Manila, no matter what you say, women are super strong, but no matter what you say, you still have that very patriarchal mindset.And I don't blame it.It's how Asians necessarily are usually raised.Yeah.I mean, we have to acknowledge it before it's changed.But yeah, so that is super different here.Here, the women are like, parang if you catcall or parang if a guy does something to a girl, it's like,Ano?Ano?Lesson, they'll really get pissed.Parang I was out with the parang girlfriends and wives of the barcada of Mikkel.And we... One was parang lasing na.And we were just in the street.And there was a guy that just goes like, Oh wow, you look really good, but not in a bastos way.Like, oh, so cute.Parang ganon.And she got pissed.As in, she was like, what are you saying?And then, parang he was like, whoa.I just want to give you a compliment but fine.I'm not gonna say anything anymore.You know what I mean?Because it wasn't like catcalling or parang objectifying.It was actually really nice but I guess they're so used to standing up for themselves.And when I watched Barbie with two of the girls here, and there's that scene in Barbie na they go into the real world and the guys are like, yeah.And then they're parang rollerblading, and then there are guys catcalling and all of that.They're like, that's so intense, ta-ta-ta.And I'm like, yeah, that's Manila.I was commuting in Manila all the time.I'd be in like baggy clothes because I don't want, you know, I don't want to call attention to myself.But here, parang they're matriarchal, I feel.More in the north than the rest of Spain.In the south.Yeah.But yeah, it's so interesting kasi, no?Like, just comparing.I mean, Italy and Spain are so close to each other.But in terms of geography, right?But then,I feel like Italy is a little bit more traditional than Spain is.And I would say, like I said, that patriarchy, that thinking is really still there.That expectation, oh, you need to have children, you need to get married, you need to... All of those things that we grew up with in Manila, it's the same.So that's why you're like, it's really like Manila.Even like the passion and the dancing and the singing and all of that, it's the same.So there's so many cool things.I mean, that's why we love Philippines so much, right?Because that piece of it is so fun.So it's the same here.Plus all the inefficiencies.Okay, we talked about Manila and then we talked about like Aki and Bas and you know, wanting to leave Japan to kind of give Aki a different point of view or worldview.What are like Pinoy things or values or whatever, something Pinoy that you want to make sure you instill in them even when you guys are living everywhere?No, but it's super important.But I think we're lucky because at least here now, where we live nga, it's so similar.So this whole thing on family and respect, I think is really one thing na so Filipino.Like spending time together, having dinner together.I think even if Aki now complains.No way!Because he's six years old.Yeah, he complains about like, why do you have to do this?He's starting to complain already.Parang ang patient mo ah.I'm the more patient one.I know it won't seem like it because Marvs is so chill but I'm the more patient one.Poker face ni Marvs pero deep inside asar na asar na siya.No, but it's really that.I think it's the family spending time.Kasi that's so Filipino.And the love for food, which Bas seems to have.Aki doesn't seem to have, so... Aki said the other day, Mama, when we're rich, or if we become rich, I think Bas will just want to pay all of the chefs.I'm like, why?No way!Yeah, he said that.I'm like, why?Because he likes to eat everything.He likes trying everything.Yeah, but Aki realized it because he knows he doesn't.Yeah, he saw the difference.He's not so much into food.Yeah, so it's funny.But yeah, food, family, and all of those things that we grew up with, with the respect and stuff, I think that's something you don't wanna... And plus the humor.Yeah.Filipino humor.Like, I know every nationality will say it.Well, with Marvs, I don't doubt that.Exactly.It's impossible that they won't.Kaya diba, like, I think every nationality has things their humor is so special, but it probably is.So I think for us, it's such a big deal that they get our... and laughing even when it's shitty.I think that's a Filipino thing.It is!Oh my gosh, like I was talking to Elisa.Every time I talk to Elisa, we talk about like really intense shitty stuff.We're always laughing.What's wrong with us?Are we crazy?Why are we laughing?Kasi what else will you do?If you can't do anything, then you laugh.There will be something funny about... Well, no, no, no.Not everything.No.But yeah, like a lot of things, like I'd rather laugh about it and be able to find the humor in it than be ultra defensive and you know, super serious about it.But I imagine that there are some things in history that, you know, we cannot joke about or laugh at.Filipino history, yes.Because Filipinos can laugh at anything.Anything.Okay!Let's come to an end, Ys, because we have so much chismis pa to talk about after.At I wanna ask everyone that I have on, because this is called I Suck, and because I think parang there, you're like this fearless person, but is there something that you felt like you genuinely struggled with, and how did you overcome that?I think it's finding the balance talaga.And it's probably the most typical one you're gonna hear with a lot of women.But me, it's really finding that balance.Still being a 100% great mom, being amazing at your job, and then also making sureYou take care of your partner.And then also, not forgetting your own identity.Parang, how the hell do you do that?Yeah, how do you do all of that?No, but I don't.That's my point.I don't.Because it's such a struggle.So, like, something will give, you know?Like, sometimes I feel so bad because I'm working so late.And so, when the kids see me, I'm so tired.They can't even speak to me because my brain is still on the job.And then similarly, when I'm at work, andI had spent time with the kids focusing on other things.Parang I don't feel naman I'm on top of work.And then you also have a partner.Parang how do you spend time?And then I want to work out.And then I want to properly learn Italian.I want to be able to read a book.Hang out with my friends.So parang... When do you do all of that?It's so hard to be excellent at all these things.Wala talaga.Kailangan average.And I really don't think...But I really don't know how other people do it and if they are actually able to do it.With a lot of help, I guess, right?Exactly.I was gonna say I'm lucky I have a partner that's super supportive, right?Parang I really feel like we're equals in the relationship.And I don't think everybody has that.But other people also have other things.Kasi kami, we live alone eh.So for us, it's the two of us need to really figure things out.For others, it's great when you have your family around you and help around you.So that somehow, not makes it easier, but it helps, right?But it's still difficult.I can't imagine for everybody na.I'm sure everybody's in the same situation.With or without kids.Yeah, there's always this, you know that there's something that you're not doing well.I don't know but is there some people thatIt seems, maybe no, and maybe that's why I wanna have these conversations with people.Like, I feel like you would've been one of the ones that just got everything, you know, and is doing everything great.And so I wanna have these conversations to find out if it's true, number one.And if it's not, like, parang how to get over that.That idea that we have to be amazing at all these things that we wanna achieve in our lives.No, it's really hard.And you really need to give yourself the grace, I would say.You don't have to be perfect at everything.And then in the end, it's really what your priorities are.Parang you'll have to prioritize.And there will be something that's more important.And to me, it's really family.But that's a struggle trying to put that in action.Kasi with a family, it feels like parang they're just there, right?They're waiting.The demand is different.When you're at work, the demand is so obvious because it's like you're so accountable.So with a family thing, you need to remember you're really... It's like you need to have your own accountability.Na parang, s**t, I'm not doing this enough with my kid.I'm not spending enough time with my husband.You're gonna give yourself KPIs for your family life, Is?Not KPIs, but at least... Because who's gonna hold me accountable?Isurvey natin si Aki and si Marvs.Did mama give you breakfast this morning?Was she there when you needed help with homework?Are you satisfied with your mama's love and affection?That's a joke.Does she hug you enough?Yeah.And then there's this whole gentle parenting and old school parenting.Nako, don't even get me started because that's even a completely different story.That's a different podcast that you and like Burns can...Together and Jella.But how interesting would it be to have the three of us talking about that?Because I feel like the girls are so different.It's true.It's true.Even just parang being with you and Jella in Paris, right?And just see you and Marvs, and then Jella and Ross, and it's like, just so different, but we all get along.Because there's respect, like you said.Yeah, it is.You can't judge people, really.Well, we can't judge other people.Yeah, but we always judge ourselves.Why?Okay.Let's end there and try to do some yoga and meditation and give ourselves the grace and appreciation after we end this.That we deserve.Yes.But thanks so much, Issa.It was super fun catching up and throwing out questions that made you reflect and think.You made me reflect so much.It's so annoying.Brain drain ba?But I loved your answers and I hope our listeners did too.So if you did, reach out to Issa and don't forget to subscribe.Thanks, Is!And thank you to whoever is listening.Bye! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Liz and I have been friends since our high school days, and even when I faced tough times during my one month work stint in Doha, Elisa was my source of happiness and support. Join us for a candid and personal conversation about the challenges of moving and living abroad while working as a flight attendant.Podcast TranscriptHello!Hello!Welcome to I Suck at Small Talk Podcast!I'm Janine and you have to forgive my konyo accent on this episode because it comes out when I talk to my guest today, my twin, Elisa Benitez!So I call Liz my twin because in high school we had a teacher that couldn't even tell us apart to the point that Elisa passed by outside our classroom and he saw her and then he looked inside the classroom and saw me and was like so shocked like how the hell did you did you do that and I was like what?And yeah, lots of like twin stories with Liz.But today, I wanna talk to her about the time that she moved to Doha.Doha!To be a flight attendant.And the reason why I really wanna get Liz's perspective on moving away from the Philippines is because unlike a lot of other people that just stay where they go, she chose to move back to Manila.And I remember her being so excited about it and I wanna know why.So thanks so much for doing this, Liz.To kick things off,Just like a background, kasi I don't know this story.Like what made you dream to be a flight attendant?And what was it that really pushed you to go for this dream?Because, I mean, you have to clean so many toilets in the process, right?Yes.A lot of people think that being a flight attendant is a glamorous job.And in a way it is because you get to stay in five-star hotels all over the world for free.But it is a customer service job and yes, you are always, the customer is always right.So whatever they want, you give it to them.If they decide to get drunk,And throw up, you have to clean up after them because you're taking care of them in the sky.But yeah, going back to the free travel.When I was younger, I played a lot of football and that opened the doors to free travel.And I always knew that, you know, once football is over, I want to continue traveling.For free, you know, it's expensive.And so, you know, my mom and my stepdad encouraged me to apply for the airlines, give it a shot.And so, yeah, one day after graduation, my stepdad gave me the card of Cebu Pacific.They were hiring flight attendants.And he said, go for it.The rest is history!Was it tough though?Sorry, was it tough to get the job?Because I know there are a lot of people that apply, right?Yeah, so when you apply for the flight attendant position, you're up against hundreds of girls and sometimes even thousands.But it'sYou know, just be yourself and if it's meant for you, you will get it.They do brief you on the usual questions and answers which is like, why do you want to be a flight attendant?Oh, because I love to travel and I like meeting new people.Shocks, Lizzie, you know?Oh my God, my voice.Because it's morning.But parang there was a time that I considered applying to be a flight attendant.Yeah!Yeah!I just realized now!Because, like, I also wanted to travel and my mom was like, like, why don't you just be a flight attendant?And my mom was always pushing me to, like, you know, do TV commercials and all that prim and proper.stuff so beautiful i thought thank you i thought about it and parang i don't know i think i tried once but i never even passed the applicationapplication process so if you try and you don't make it don't worry guys there are other jobs out there that let you travel and i found them stumbling on those but yeah like i'm thankful that i didn't because i think i would have like i don't know punched someone in the face insteadI have no patience okay so you did Cebu pack and then you made it to Doha Qatar Airways which is like one of the top airlines but then you had to like move to Doha and everything and it'sYes, it was my first time to live away from homeBut luckily, the company that I work for were very supportive and encouraging.They also made sure to educate us on what to expect, what to think, what the weather's gonna be like, what the people are gonna be like.They even educated us on the traditions, the culture, the rules to follow, you know, to sort of help us, you know, it's necessary to learn.So that we could be respectful.Again, it's a very conservative culture.They're Muslim.They're very prayerful.They separate the men and women a lot.Even the way that we dress, we always have to cover our shoulders, cover our knees.During Ramadan, we also have to respect the rules.Yeah, you can't eat in public, right?You have to eat in the bathroom or something.Well, yeah, bathroom if you're outdoors, but otherwise just at home, in the privacy of your home.So, yeah, it was a big adjustment and it was a bit scary, butThe company was very supportive and another good thing was the people that you meet, you know, you meet your colleagues for the first time and they're all moving away from home for the first time.So you have that instant connection that you're all coming from different backgrounds and you're living in this new foreign land.And so you encourage each other to get through it together.That's so good to have like a support system.And I guess parang if you're going through it with other people, there are these shared experiences that, you know, at least you have people to run to that are going through the same things.But before I go to my next question, I just want to thank you for being my lifesaver when I went to Doha.I don't know if people know this but I was in Doha for like a month for work and it was one of the toughest freaking experiences of my life like it's like a great it's very interesting you know modern city in the middle of the desert kind of like like Dubai but a little smaller andYeah.It was just, it was tough for me where I was.But anyway, that's another story and I wanted to thank you because if not for you, I swear, like that was the most depressed I probably was in my life.Of course, not counting the heartbreaks.Not counting the heartbreaks because that's different.okay so Doha great life you got to travel and you ticked so many of the countries that you wanted or all the countries were able to go to all the countries on your list not all i still have a few left that i'm saving for my future husbandfor the honeymoon.OMG!That's a totally different conversation.But related to that, you decided to move back to Manila where I don't know if you'll find your future husband there.But yeah, like,So, anong nagpapasok mo sa Manila?Alam ko ba mo ay nagpapasok sa pagpapasok?Ano ang pagpapasok ng pagpapasok ito?At ano ang mga masasabi ng pagpapasok ito?Yes.So, sa pagpapasok, maging as a flight attendant, hindi ko nalaman ito ay isang permanent na gawin, o hindi ko nalaman ito ay isang mga kareer sa panahon.Alam mo, ito ay mgaI just finished college.I don't know what I want to do except travel.You know, and this is the way to do it.And along the way, I was always had it at the back of my mind to start a different career or to maybe start a business.My family is very entrepreneurial and I wanted to go in that direction.And so the reason why I was excited about moving back home to Manilawas because my cousin presented me with an opportunity to start a real estate business and to, you know, build my own business alongside him.And, you know, it's kind of the same way that, you know, people who are living in Manila, they get jobs abroad that they'll never be able to get in Manila.And that's why they get excited and go for it.It works the other way around where I was living abroad and I was starting to think like, you know, I want to build like a solid foundation in my career.I want to start my own business.And this opportunity was presented in Manila.And, you know, for me, I thought, what better way to start that than to do it like right in the comfort of your own home whereYour family and friends are there and you have your support system.Because while I was living in Doha, my support system was on speed dial.It's always picking up the phone when I'm homesick.They're always reminding me why I moved abroad in the first place.After a while, the homesickness really gets to you.When I found the opportunity toI could also imagine how many Filipinos who are working abroad who would kill for an opportunity like this you know because during my time in the Middle East I made friends with a lot of Filipinos and a lot of their stories areHeartbreaking because it's like they don't actually want to be so far away from their families but because of the lack of opportunity in the Philippines, you know, it was sad like I remember since I did like a month in Dubai and then another month in Doha and you go toAll the stores, the restaurants, and it's Filipinos working there, right?And so, whenever, like, I'd see one, and I can tell that they're Pinoy, I'd be like, kabayan, right?And then they're like, oh my gosh, like, you're Filipino too, ta-ta-ta-ta!And, like, you get better service, maybe they'll give you a little extra whatever, and it's great, but they would ask me, like, so how long are you gonna be here?And I'm like, oh, for about a month.And every time, they would be like, you're so lucky.Because they're like, oh wow, short lang, you're so lucky that you get to go back home.Because they want to be home.It's just they have to provide.It's so heartbreaking.It's so heartbreaking.I would get a lot of passengers, especially on my flights to Manila.And you know, you have these dads who are like, I miss my kid's graduation, or I miss my kid's birthday, or haven't seen my family in two years, three years.And you have these mothers who are like, I just want to be with my kids, but I can't earn this kind of money back home.And it's heartbreaking.But it's also at the same time so amazing how Filipinos just continue to work hard, do what they need to do to keep their family supported.Yeah, the resilience.It's true.You talk about like, you know, having to, meeting other, like Filipinos in the flights.But you also had to deal with like loads of nationalities and races.And I remember talking to you about this in Dubai, like how, parang they're so annoying.I don't wanna stereotype, but it's parang it's true, you know?So like sometimes, they're like,Great people in every race and also annoying, not self-aware, just irritating people.So what are your thoughts on boxing people up or stereotyping people by race or nationality?Is it mean?Am I mean?No, you're not mean at all.I am though sometimes.No, but for you, because it was your job, right?Yeah, yeah.It's definitely important to sort of like box or stereotype certain cultures.But it's not because you're trying to be mean.It's more of like it's important to educate yourself so that you remain respectful.You know, like what could be offensiveFor a Filipino, could actually be a sign of appreciation from a different culture.And that's just the way the world works.uh irritating people but what i've come to realize and to learn is that actually irritating and annoying it's a universal language you know it's all different cultures they're all different walks of life there are annoying people and then there are the ones there are the pleasant ones andYeah, it's important.Of course, you want to know how to behave around certain cultures because you want to be the pleasant person.You don't want to be the ignorant, annoying, like, I'm better than you kind of person when it comes to cultural differences.But sometimes, yeah, I have a feeling, I'm not gonna say whichwhich race I'm pertaining to but sometimes you get that feeling from a lot of people from a certain country for example like it so it's like I understand if people think oh they're all like that no it's not true like but a lot of them are like that and if you understand a little more their culture their history you kind of understand whyYou know?Parang it's like, okay, there's a reason for this.And it's really, for me, very interesting to reflect on those differences.But more, parang understand more about Filipino culture also.Like, living abroad,You see these differences and distinctions and it makes you kind of appreciate certain things about Filipino culture and Filipinos.So what about Filipinos did you find, I don't know, like inspiring or what did you... Oh my gosh, my words.So what did you find about being a Filipino while you were abroad?Yeah, well, yeah, living abroad actually made me so much moreproud to be a Filipino because Filipinos are friendly.It goes without, you know, it's like, it's actually like universal knowledge.You meet so many different nationalities and they'll be like, Oh, you're Filipino.So you're friendly, and you're hardworking, and you're resilient.And it's like, wow.Thank you for that.Like, yeah, it's true.You know,So yeah, you are able to appreciate Filipinos more especially when you see them outside of their comfort zone and you see how much they're trying to adjust and trying to be respectful.And when you miss them.And still wanting a helping hand.Oh, you missed that.Exactly.Like now, because I don't really hang out with Pinoys here.Like, I don't really feel like I belong in that community.Although, I mean, there's a very small community here in San Sebastian, but I see them in like this bench one.There's a specific bench that I feel like they go to all the time, but anyway.But parang being with non-Filipinos, I enjoy myself.I love my friends here.But I miss the wittiness.Like there's like this wittiness that we have.It's like there's always a hirit to be said no matter how serious the conversation.Like we turn it, like we bring fun into it.And I really, I miss that anyway.It's a normal feeling missing that piece of home and that's also why like you'll notice when you're living abroad like nationalities become more cliquish with each other because it's like they're so homesick they don't do it intentionally it's just that they're missing home so much that they wanta piece of home as much as they can get yeah i realized i realized that okay so there are people here that i speak to in spanish in spanish there are people here that i speak to in english but it's like pure english right and i realized that my native language is taglishI can't really speak to anyone here in Taglish so I'm training Mikael a few Filipino words so I can speak to him in Taglish.But yeah, that's also one of the reasons why I started this podcast was so that I have an excuse to have more and more conversations with my friends like you!Speaking of, uy may connection.So I named this podcast like I Suck and then at small talk as in parenthesis because I mean there's this feeling na I suck at a lot of things and it's good to acknowledge it so that I can surpass it.So I want to ask like every guest, what do you think you suck at and what are you doing to overcome that?Yeah.Okay.Okay.It's hard to say sometimes.But it'll feel better.Knowing that you don't know who's gonna watch this.Yeah.But it might be zero-less.It might just be you and me when we're lolas.And I suck at hiding my facial expressions.So, I've been criticized a lot over the years for having a contingent phase.Oh my gosh!No way!Yeah!Like people tell you, like... Ah, yeah, okay, yeah.Suplada!People always ask me, like, are you okay?Do you have a problem?Is something wrong?Like, you know, and I'm just like, yeah, I'm fine.And, you know, a lot of peopleLike they get easily offended because I'm not, you know, very good at especially my eyes.My eyes are very expressive.So the moment I hear something I don't like or I hear something that I disagree with, like my eyes are just gonna say it right away.The windows to your soul is.You cannot hide.The windows to my soul.The windows to my resting b***h face.Yeah, I tried to prove that by like, you know, like usually like when I'm talking to someone or communicating, I try to take longer pauses before reacting or before responding or, you know, like justpracticing how to just keep a blank face or maybe keep a smile, like a semi-smile on.So while you're talking to someone, you're conscious.You're conscious of like, okay, my face is like this.But with your friends that know you, you're not, right?Like, you're comfy.No.What?But my friends know that I can judge them and we'll still be friends at the end of the day.Yeah, yeah.It's true.That's why.In a professional setting.Yeah, because you deal with a lot of clients.Yeah.Yeah, you know, like I moved back home to Manila and I now work in real estate.So I do deal, you know, I'm still in a way, I'm still involved in customer service.And I've actually read a bunch of books.My favorite one being How to Win Friends and Influence People.Wow!What's so helpful is by Dale Carnegie and it's very helpful practical tools that you can use to, you know, just be on the good side of people.Because yeah, like a simple like eyebrow raise or rolling your eyes or even just like sometimes if you yawn or you do something.There are people that study that, right?Like they study, okay, what does this mean?What would this mean?And so because there are studies on it, now you can control it and kind of use it nga to your advantage.When I was doing the mixed VJ search thing, one of the things they told me was I have to control my eyes.I get too big daw!Because when I'm saying stuff, they're too big daw.So I had to kind of watch myself and yeah, consciously be like, okay, don't make your eyes pop too much.But I think, I don't know if that stuck with me or if I don't care na lang now.So if ever, if it bothers you, if you're watching me and it bothers you, tell me my eyes still pop.okay oh my gosh Liz this was such a good convo and we're oh and we're like just in time i'm so excited would you be back like would you consider recording more conversations with meOkay, great.Because there are so many convos outside of the record button that are just so good, dude!Okay, to end, what would be like your top advice to someone that is moving away from home?Okay, my top advice would be two things.Number one, keep an open mind.Because no matter how prepared you think you are, there's always gonna be surprises here and there.And number two, keep your loved ones on speed dial, your family, your friends, you know, be open to asking them for help whenever you feel stuck.Ask them for sunshine when you're feeling homesick becauseYou know, the people that you keep in your life, the people that you let into your space, that's what's gonna make or break your experiences.You know, you could be in the worst country in the world but you have the best friends around you and you'll be good.Or you could be in the most beautiful country in the world but you're with the irritating, the universally irritating people.So yeah, it's a lot to do with the connections and yeah.I'm gonna keep those tips in mind.Thank you so much Liz thanks for sharing your moving away story it's been like weird recording it but also fun I think we're gonna get used to it as we keep doing this um but yeah to our listeners thank you also for joining us whoever you areThis is fam, my fam.Hello, how are you doing?Just message us.You have our numbers.But thanks for listening to an episode of I Suck at Small Talk.Stay tuned for more stories and life learnings that inspire us to break out of our shells and embrace the world.Yeah! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

After a quick nighttime jog, the universe rewarded me with a delightful surprise in my real-life mailbox: my Spanish driver’s license in its card form. ¡Por fin! 🎉I looked at my name by my address: Gipuzkoa 20001. It took me back to the first time I received mail at my new home.❤️ It's fascinating how seemingly small things can bring such excitement when they're fresh and new. The challenge is in keeping the enthusiasm alive.A few things kept me up last nightThe sound of the wind, Mikel’s snoring, and this article raging a storm in my head.*Unlocks phone and writes at 2am*I’m deleting everything I wrote yesterday, saving the intro, and starting again.Wheeling aroundI’ve been relearning to drive a stick shift, getting comfortable on a scooter, and giving myself missions on the bike.I’m not comfortable on two wheels. I was and still am a clumsy little girl and I have the scars on my knees to prove it. I think I never really built my jelly leg muscles. (Gotta do more squats!)Driving on these unfamiliar roads gives me anxiety. I grew up in a racing family; my grandfather Pocholo Ramirez was a legendary race car driver in the Philippines. The next generations also followed suit.“The one with the beard is the racer to be feared.”That meant we have to drive well—and fast! Road rage runs in my blood and hearing passionate debates about what other drivers do wrong behind the wheel adds pressure to not be the noob, the reason for a traffic jam, the one people honk at, the a$$h0le.😬It’s something I appreciate! Learning the rules and how to be courteous but quick on the road; being trained to think of others, respect people that we have to share a space with… This perspective translates to other public spaces, too.I’m mindful to signal before changing lanes; stay on the right lane when not going fast enough; walk quicker when a car is waiting on me to cross a pedestrian lane; not block an entry or escalator when I don’t know where I’m going; think of what I want to order so as not to hold up the line—one-piece chickenjoy with rice, please!I wish more people were aware of those around them and their power to affect.Growing in kindness and understandingBut oftentimes, we aren’t born that way. We aren't inherently equipped to embody the ideal qualities of a mindful and capable driver, pedestrian, athlete, citizen, employee, parent, daughter, or person we imagine in our minds.Rarely is someone just naturally excellent and great. (If you are, well, then lucky you!) For most of us, this is learned and earned through practice and by making mistakes. Research, study, and having the courage to ask questions and admit when I need improvement are often my first steps.I had the pleasure of interviewing the enlightening Dr. Sarah Glova about the Growth Mindset on the EX Experience podcast. Basically, it’s changing from saying: “I’m not good at it.” To: “I’m not good at it yet.”Because. Don’t we all have the capacity to grow? Improve? Get better?That’s something I now tell myself when fear brings paralysis, like when the engine dies on a tollgate. Woosah. It’s ok to suck in the beginning! It’s ok to make mistakes, to fail! Keep at it and you’ll get better.Now, though, I’m also seeing beyond me. Others are on their journey of growth and reaching their full potential, too. So when I find myself with road rage, I need to remind myself that other drivers also need encouragement and a trigger to flip from an “I suck” to an “I’ll work to get better” mindset.I mean. Not everyone had the privilege of learning how to drive a stick shift on a racetrack with Pocholo Ramirez telling them when to brake, downshift, and take the chicane.😉How did you learn how to drive? What was your most embarrassing booboo?😳 Let's swap stories and remind each other that it's all part of the ride. Reply to this email or send me a message with your anecdotes!😉Thank you for reading Janine’s Where I Roam Free blog and newsletter.🙏🏻 This post is public so feel free to share it!😊 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

For a long time, work was central to my identity. I obsessed about my job, making it the cornerstone of my life.😬 I've now learned the art of balance and appreciate other facets of my life; but I don't regret my workaholic streak. It drove me to demand more from myself and my employers. It taught me to question whether my job helps me become the person I aspire to be, both in terms of skills and values.No matter how uncomfortable and socially tortured you feel, the moment will pass and you’ll survive. It helps to prepare. It helps to practice.This led to a fair amount of job hopping, with at least 13 positions under my belt, all of which were swirled with immense learning and confidence building. The cherry on top? Meeting absolutely wonderful and inspiring people along the way.Out of the 13, I want to share the three jobs that scared me the most, yet have also been the most transformative in building my confidence. These three careers pushed me beyond my comfort zones, tested my limits, and ultimately made me a more resilient and self-assured professional (and human!).Career Challenge 1: Find the Confidence to Speak as a Myx VJI've always been hesitant to speak in front of crowds. In class, I'd think once, twice, five times before raising my hand to ask a question, let alone share my thoughts. When I’m surrounded by familiar faces, my outspoken persona makes an appearance; but among strangers, I retreat into my shell.How I came to be a video jock for Myx Music Channel, introducing music videos and hosting live concerts, is another story. (Curious? Ask me about it!😅) Today’s story is about my struggle with public speaking. I admit that I was comfortable in front of a camera. But live events were terrifying!One defining moment was during a massive concert with thousands in the crowd. Technical glitches called on my shaky hosting powers, demanding that I “stretch” my segment. The pressure was intense! I recall a wide-eyed kuya Miko with his headset on the frontlines mouthing, “Streeeetch,” while making those dreaded hand signals. This meant something was wrong and I had to keep talking up the crowd until they gave me a thumbs up.Oof! That will live in my traumatic memory vault forever. Right next to it, though, is the memory that I survived the longest 10 minutes of my life. Lesson learned! No matter how uncomfortable and socially tortured you feel, the moment will pass and you’ll survive. It helps to prepare. It helps to practice.Over time, I learned to manage my nerves and speak comfortably in front of crowds, even embracing the occasional blunder with humor—after I get over the cringe.😮‍💨 To this day, I feel insecurity seep in because of my lack of eloquence. But I’m pushing myself to the uncomfortable spotlight through my own personal project: I Suck (at Smalltalk).Interested in leadership and world of work topics? You might enjoy these conversations I had with amazing people leaders on the Employee Experience Experience podcast!Career Challenge 2: Communicate and Negotiate with Top Executives for Global MediaThis job redefined my belief in myself and what I could achieve. I’m forever grateful to mentors Franco Verona and Brian Banta. I would have shrivelled up in front of CEOs without their exceptional guidance and training. They remain invaluable sources of business advice and networking opportunities. (I appreciate you, senseis!)With Global Media, my responsibilities as project director included researching a country’s economy and top industries, creating prospect lists, arranging meetings with top executives (Cold calls still give me the chills!), flying to and finding suitable living arrangements, conducting interviews, meeting sales quotas, writing reports, and a lot of coordination. Rinse all that and more, then repeat!Our remote work setup—even before the term was coined!—was ahead of its time, utilizing Google Docs and weekly update meetings before it became commonplace. The reports I produced with the GMI team in Dubai, Doha, Japan (Former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe wrote the introduction!), the Netherlands (I interviewed then Foreign Minister Frans Timmermans who later became the Vice-President of the European Commission!), and more, all serve as lasting reminders of my ability to tackle daunting tasks in foreign soil. The secret sauce is a mix of great training, research, support, and sheer determination.In hindsight, a career in sales wasn't my calling, but with the guidance of mentors like Franco and Brian, I found invaluable lessons in resilience and adaptability. Those years taught me how to conquer my fears and the world!Explore some of the reports I produced and authored published in the Foreign Affairs magazine.Career Challenge 3: Lead a Team to Shape a Senator's Voice for Former Senator Bam AquinoBy this time, I was no longer daunted by addressing large audiences and engaging with influential individuals. My initial role in the Senate was as a speechwriter, and transitioning into this sphere didn't scare me; I was excited! It was the unexpected leap into the position of Communications Director that brought my fears to the surface. Leading a team for the first time felt daunting, and self-doubt crept in as I questioned my capabilities.What helped me overcome this was my commitment to honesty and clarity. I openly shared my concerns with the team while remaining steadfast in goals. Together we crafted both our values and objectives, even designing large stickers for our office so we’re constantly and subconsciously reminded of how we want to work. Together, we transformed words on the wall to reality.Equally helpful was a supportive team who truly believed in my potential to lead. Senator Bam and fellow directors who I looked up to and respected served as the best examples and guides. Thanks to them, I know to strive to lead by example, to empower my team rather than micromanage, and to recognize that allowing others to shine is the best reward.I may not have been the best manager, but I kept us aligned in a shared vision, message, and brand. More importantly, I empowered a collaborative work environment built on trust; one that we all loved. My time with this incredible team remains a source of pride—an experience I'll cherish forever. I look forward to sharing more stories from this journey in my future writing.Here’s a small pocketbook we put together with some of our favorite articles.Embrace Challenges, Ignite Confidence, and ThriveAs I reflect on my journey of confronting and conquering career challenges, I'm reminded that our professional paths are not just about what we achieve, but how we grow along the way. Embracing challenges isn't merely a necessity; it's an opportunity to ignite your inner confidence, fortify your resilience, and emerge as a stronger, more empowered professional and individual.From trembling in front of audiences to orchestrating international projects, each career hurdle has been a transformative step towards self-discovery. Through these experiences, I've learned that it's not the absence of fear that defines us but how we confront it head-on.So, if you find yourself standing at the precipice of a daunting career decision or facing a seemingly insurmountable challenge, remember that you have within you the capacity to overcome. Challenge by challenge, you'll not only develop the skills and knowledge you need but also the unwavering belief in your own abilities.As you navigate the twists and turns of your professional journey, consider this: Your career path is a canvas, and each challenge you encounter is an opportunity to paint a masterpiece of growth and achievement. So, embrace the unknown, lean into your discomfort, and watch as you transform self-doubt into unwavering confidence. You've got this!If you have your own stories of career challenges and triumphs or if you'd like to share your insights, please feel free to do so in a comment. Let's continue this empowering conversation together. Shy? Message me on LinkedIn! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

*Yawns* *Stretches* *Looks out the window*“WHAT?! It’s a rainbow! Mikel, mira un arcoiris!”*Springs out of bed*WHAAAT?! It’s a full, bright, colorful rainbow! An absolute delight to wake up to.😍I put the coffee pot on, turn back around, and it’s gone.🙈Constant Change and the GalernaLast night the galerna swept through Donostia. That's what they call the intense wind that whooshes from the sea, feeding beachgoers a swarm of sand 🤣, and clearing out the heat from concrete.It’s strong. Chairs from terrazas and flimsy bikers get blown away. Do you know how Mary Poppins rolls into town? Like that.It’s fun! You feel the change.“I wonder if I force these birthday traditions on myself so I don’t miss all of you as much.”The Big Three-EightI've hit the big 3-8. I feel no different than when I was 37. Ha! Time plays tricks. It’s quick when you look back, slow when you’re sitting and waiting.So stop sitting and waiting.I conquered my birthday mountain—Monte Adarra—again this year. Glad to know my knees are still up to it. Made it back to the city in time for lunch at a sushi bar where they surprised me with a song.Zorionak zuri! Zorionak beti! In the Basque version of Happy Birthday, they just say congratulations. They don’t even mention what for. I wonder why they don’t use the song for all occasions.🤔My birthday weekend was a symphony of flavors. Canneloni courtesy of Mikel's ama, Peruvian sushi and gourmet gyozas, my favorite burger, too much Mexican food, and cookies flown in from Manila (Thanks, Tito Bonny! They were so yummy.🍪).Oh. Plus beer and chips with a side of sunset and friends from this side of the world.I wonder if I force these birthday traditions on myself so I don’t miss all of you as much. Because I do. Especially when I want to celebrate my life, which is made rich thanks to our memories together. If only we could all teleport to a karaoke joint!Just before midnight of the 8th, my sister's call brought the only tears of my birthday. For now, filling my day with traditions will keep my eyes dry.Constant Change, Visitors, and RegatasLife here, I've noticed, unfolds in extremes. It's either a panorama of activities and gatherings to choose from, or a day of tranquil nothingness. My birthday season breeds the former.Last week brought an Asian invasion of Filipinos for the joyous wedding of Bettina and Jojo. Having a slice of Manila here was fun and, to be honest, comforting. But that's another story!Sunday marked the finals of the regata competition. We went out to the Bahia de la Concha in stand-up paddle. We could see the port and the side of Monte Urgul full of people sporting their team’s color. Clouds of yellow smoke were conjured into the air.“It’s like Harry Potter!”Yup, this city is just as magical.Just like that, it’s gone.Nails done with the girls on Saturday, chipped that same night. Summer’s peak in terms of sun and heat quickly chased away by the galerna, rainbow, lightning, and rain. Another year of my life tucked away and a personal podcast in the making (WAH!).Life is an exhilarating choose-your-own-adventure novel filled with, well, choices. And a lack of. There’s a delicate dance between going with the flow and forging your path. Will I ever master its rhythm? Who knows.This week, I'll enjoy the calm.Thanks for reading about my birthday shenanigans! Subscribe for free and soon I’ll have some helpful content and transform this into more than just a silly diary.😅 - Janinay This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

If you've ever felt the icy grip of awkwardness or battled imposter syndrome, you're not alone. In this introductory episode, Janine talks about why she's starting the 'I Suck at Smalltalk' podcast and what you can expect from these personal, heartfelt, unfiltered conversations and connections. Let's laugh, learn, and conquer self-doubt, one conversation at a time!Click here to listen (and watch!) on Spotify.🎧 Get to know Janine more by subscribing to the podcast and her newsletter! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

I ran into a friend on the street today. I haven’t seen him in a while! After sharing some good news, he turned the conversation to me, “¿Y tu, que tal?”"Me acaban de despedir del trabajo.” ↔️ “I just got laid off .”He assured me not to worry. With my profile, I'll find something soon.I also had a conversation with an ethics and compliance queen. We're collaborating on a Webinar about AI on Ethics Reporting and Employee Feedback. She praised my dedication and smarts, mentioning that she'd hire me if she could. She even called me fantastic!🥹I didn't realize how much I needed to hear these words—and from such remarkable people!🥹🥹🥹 I'm so grateful for all of you who have faith in me, even when I'm filled with doubt and worry.I’ve come to appreciate my worries though. They've taught me to prepare for the worst, which helps propel me forward! As long as I also hope for the best and let go of the doubts when they start pulling me down, I should be ok.😳Can you relate? Do you worry too much too?🥲Barbie and the Beauty of Language BarriersI watched the Barbie movie in Spanish recently. Visually, it was stunning. There were a few moments that made me chuckle. But I found some scenes and lines ridiculous and not particularly funny.🙊 It could be the nuances lost in translation—the delivery, tone, words... How did you find it?I watched the movie with two strong, independent, intelligent Basque women.🤩Here in the Basque Country, they speak Euskera, an entirely different language from Spanish. They are often (at least) bilingual and, while some don’t mind shifting between the two languages, others prefer speaking Euskera.This adds a barrier for newbies trying to connect with the community.When we’re with la cuadrilla or da barkada (That’s ‘group of friends’ in English!), there are moments when I can't quite follow their conversations. Should they all adjust to Spanish, I feel self-conscious for being the reason they switch to the dictator’s tongue.😬 Nakakahiya!While it does make things less convenient for me, I have a great appreciation for their staunch commitment to the Basque identity, with Euskera being an essential ingredient. Their language—not dialect!—is proof that they're not Spanish but Basque, and it symbolizes their relentless effort to preserve their traditions, way of life, and sense of being, even when the dictator Franco tried to suppress Euskera, making it illegal to teach and speak.The fact that each generation still uses the language in their day-to-day, despite the brutal crackdown, demonstrates the strength, pride, and beauty of the Basque culture.I do wish we would preserve all the wonderfully rich languages of the Philippine islands. But I’ve also developed an appreciation for the Filipino adaptability, flexibility, and creativity that shines through in the way we speak. I realized my native tongue isn't English or Filipino; it's Taglish.😂 The ability to weave words from both languages, picking the ones that best express my thoughts or even creating new expressions and words when needed has helped me become the communicator I am today…That is: a communicator that can make do with my broken Spanish to talk fluidly about the struggles of womanhood across different cultures and societies with two strong, independent, intelligent Basque women.😆 The real magic of the Barbie movie occurred afterward at a café over two pots of tea, a beer, and great conversation.Immersion and ConnectionIt’s important to me that, while I maintain my connection with you from afar, I also make lasting friendships in the society I now call home.My strategy is to build connections in bite-sized portions. Because in big groups, I gravitate to people I already know and am comfortable with. When I get to connect with someone new, I get that “Mission Accomplished” feels and I love it!It's uplifting to have these small yet meaningful victories, especially with my birthday just around the corner this Friday.👵🏻 Every year, I find myself cycling through the same phases of sadness-for-not-accomplishing-enough, self-reflection, appreciation, and, finally, celebration! The birthday blues grow shorter with each passing year. YAY!I've lived a rich life filled with experiences and I’m still making memories! Imma keep trucking on, surrounding myself with remarkable people who believe in my spark, just as I believe in theirs.Do you know someone that mind need to hear this? It’s public, share the link! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

“What’s your story?”Someone asked me that question recently and I think my response scared him off.😂I started from the very beginning: separated parents, impossible-to-draw family tree, fear of hellfire, appreciation, and liberation from the expectations of society…In retrospect, I concluded yet again that I can be so damn awkward.😆 I think he just wanted to know where I’m at in life and career. Oops!He should’ve been more specific.🙄 Because I’m countless stories!I was a Catholic schoolgirl with separated but loving parents; complex but wonderfully colorful families. I was a silent, can’t-speak-Filipino-well, couldn’t-make-friends-at-badminton-training kid. I was a totally unstylish, kengkoy teen. The wackiest Myx VJ ever. Traveling saleswoman. Team Bam fanatic. Filipina in Donostia. And all the stories, anecdotes, wins and loses, drunken nights, and pensive moments in between.Today? I’m a content strategist that just got laid off from an artificial intelligence start-up in her late 30s. Yup. That just happened.😳My Unemployment StoryI can’t say it was a shock; there have been waves in the past. I can’t say it was expected either; I felt like a highly valued member of the team—and still do.What I can say is that I was sort-of-kinda-hoping for it.Though I’m not gonna lie. It was tough to hear and I cried a bit. But it isn’t anything a lovely day at the beach and calls with comrades can’t fix! I’ve lost too many sunny mornings indoors for work and was lucky enough to have a clear, beautiful day as soon as I was out of a job. Hay buhay…Don’t worry! While I always appreciate hugs and “How are you?” messages, I’m genuinely feeling good. I do detest the legal and administrative paperwork. Boo. And I need to process my whole employee experience to learn and progress. (If you want to help me with that, let me know!)Financially, I’ll be on paro, which is the unemployment benefit allowance you earn (and contribute to) while employed. It will be the first time I’ll receive a monthly allowance for getting my life together, job hunting, and connecting with you.🤯 Not bad, Spain.😅Emotionally, I’m mas o menos filled with appreciation. This was the first team I joined since moving here and colleagues have turned to true friends. I’ve learned a ton about work systems (I love sprints and the Agile method!). And I even got to interview absolutely amazing People+Culture leaders for the company’s podcast.If I reach out to you to grab a convo for my budding podcast, I hope you say yes!It’s the red tape that’s really bogging me down.😩Perfect TimingWhat are the chances that I launch this newsletter and gear up for my personal podcast right before I join el club de desempleo? Writing is a form of therapy and having this to run to is a big help to flow through my thoughts and feels.Another source of comfort? Conversations with my peeps i.e. you. Time for a quick connection update!Got to talk to my sister again today but didn’t record it.😜 We will again soon. And if I reach out to you to grab a convo for my budding podcast, I hope you say yes!Tita Pam sent me a comment for my last post that touched my heart plus made me laugh. (Love you!) And I randomly called Norman for a quick catch-up.Lots of little connection wins incentivized by this little project of mine. Yay!Have you seen…Oppenheimer? Barbie? I want to know what you think!I don’t really get to watch movies in a theater anymore but these plans came up. Caught Oppenheimer in English and Barbie in Spanish. WAH! Were jokes lost in translation?🥴 Let’s talk!Thanks for reading!❤️ Do we have common friends or fam that might want to see this? It’s public so feel free to share. - Janine This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Walk with me y te cuento.It’s been rainy and windy the past few days at around 20°C. A stark contrast to the sunny sauna we had a few weeks back during semana grande, the week-long fiesta. The sun draws everyone out and together, painting smiles on even the crankiest faces. There were dinners and wine, concerts and beer, fireworks every night, and even costumes of the belle époque years.Mikel had a friend visiting. I had an ex-colleague around. Long-lost family came and went. All. At. Once.It was great! I had fun. But I was spent.I ended up with a tinge of either COVID or COVID-paranoia mixed with a hangover. I sulked a bit. Drank tea and Frenadol a lot. Cleaned up and organized the apartment…I feel much better now. And more balanced!Let’s duck into the library.When I went to Sydney for Patty’s wedding, one of my loveliest souvenirs was a taste of her new home and her new life. We had a barbecue in the park where they walk their dog Hopper, drinks at the taqueria where Mon hangs out with colleagues, and bought munchies in the closest store to their apartment that closes the latest (they shut so early there!).Patty, my only sister, is one of the most important people in my life. It was my first visit since she moved continents and I was so happy to sharpen my image of her day-to-day. When she tells me she’ll be home soon, I can trace her steps from the train station to her door.I not-so-secretly wish that for myself, too: that my favorite people experience my new world and my simple, fiesta-free days. I’d like you to imagine my sunsets from memory and not from IG story; or remember the feeling of drenching rain when I tell you I forgot to wear my chubasquero today.Quick beach check.Living away is bittersweet. There’s so much I appreciate but also so many people I miss. And the only way to connect is through a screen. I’m so tired of screens.Then why’d you start a freaking newsletter, Janine?!I know. Sounds dumb, right?Might sound less absurd to know that I hope to swap social media scrolling for writing these articles out. I could spend 30 minutes or more every day consuming random content. That’s at least 3 to 4 hours a week, which is more than enough to get this to you–and call you up too!--should the time difference and our schedules permit.So that’s the hope: to trade wasted digital consumption for meaningful conversations and content creation.Will it work? I don’t know. But it might! Since starting this…* I’m excited to write!* Patty and I made time to record our conversation.* Elisa messaged me and we got on a call.* Drea and Andrew commented on my first post.* I got 11 votes on my first poll.And YOU subscribed. I’ll take that as a sign to keep going.Almost home.Your turn. How are you? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com

Haloo! If you've already crossed paths with me, you know the deal and all my cray.😜 But if not… I'm Janine, Ninay, Nin, J9, etc., a not-so-athletic explorer with a zeal for learning and a knack for storytelling and strategic comms.🤹🏻Though I’m currently calling the enchanting Donostia my home, this lady’s roots are in Manila and I wear my unconventional Filipina identity proudly. I’ve also lived stints in Tokyo, Amsterdam, Dubai, and Doha; and gathered tales from 27 countries and counting. Intrigued? Meh. I’m not that fun. I can also be a boring couch potato munching on spicy nachos alone on a Friday night. (Need tips to convert FOMO to JOMO? DM.)Welcome to my Substack, a canvas to capture kaleidoscopic learnings & experiences!🍭Why this, why now?Good questions, my friends. While the sea breeze of San Sebastian is pure magic, there are moments when I miss the deep connections I have timezones away.Why not just post on social media? Let's just say it's time for a breakup. I'm on a mission to reclaim my time while keeping conversations and connections truly alive and buzzing. (SO CALL ME.)Also, aging – it's a thing. (I legit just pulled out a few white hairs 6 minutes ago.) Instead of investing in Botox, I'm investing in leaving a legacy through my stories and experiences. Wrinkles might show up, but my legacy will be flawless. HA! (That’s a joke ‘cause Botox is not completely out of the question...🤔)Join My TribeWho am I inviting into this digital carnival? You and your curious soul!If you're craving a slice of my life, a dash of inspiration, and a chunk of realness, you're home.❤️Are you like me, trying to decode yourself in spaces you don’t quite belong in so you can piece together the puzzle of life while keeping your wonder alive? Or maybe you’re just itching to soak up whiz-dom, laugh at misadventures, and ditch the virtual circus for the world outside. If any of this floats your boat, bite the bait and subscribe.You won’t see these funky moves on the 🚫TikTok👎🏻 dance floor so sign up for rainbows in your inbox instead.Why jump into the Nin Network?Because it’s free (Skip those paid options!) and because you love me.😘 Your passport to my inner world comes at no cost and grants you visa-free access to:* My Colorful Life: The whirlwind of moving to Spain, learning a new language and culture whilst leaving behind the people I feel most safe around (There’s a lot to unpack!); career wins and frustrations; love life updates; travel escapes; and whatever else I’m up to. (Mushroom foraging, anyone?)* Fresh Learnings: New self-discovery concepts (Apparently, I’m an HSP?!), life hacks, and language and culture barrier-breakers.* Kitchen Capers: My culinary escapades and easy-peasy kitchen experiments.Who knows what I’ll whip up next? Maybe nothing and I’ll opt to just read on the beach instead.🥴 But all this ☝🏻️ only costs a little bit of your time per… month/week. Depending on which wins the poll. ⬇️Alrighty then! If this rollercoaster ride has you giggling and craving more, hit subscribe, and together let’s find the sweet spot where learning, laughter, and a hard knock life intertwine.And if you ever feel like waving goodbye, just click unsubscribe. I swear I won’t hold it against you! You don’t know how many emails are left unopened in my Gmail.😆Big hugs and a virtual high-five to all of you who made it to the end of my inaugural Substack post!Special shoutout to my sister Patty Limcaoco for giving me the final nudge to get this show on the road. I love youuu!Thanks for reading! But I’d appreciate you even more for subscribing.🤣 - J9 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com