The Skinne Bekke Podcast

Healing isn’t softening yourself for others.It’s returning to yourself. 🌿It’s choosing discomfort over self-betrayal.It’s saying no — even when your voice shakes.It’s being kind, but no longer available for everything. 🚪Integrity is quiet.Boundaries are firm.And truth… isn’t always polite. ⚖️Sit with us as we reflect, laugh (mostly at ourselves), and learn how to navigate the messy, uncomfortable, and necessary terrain of choosing yourself.

Discipline isn’t punishment… but why does it sometimes feel like you’re in the tronk? 😭🚔So here’s a little reminder — for you and us 🫶🏽:It’s not about being “better” ❌It’s about actually showing up for yourself… consistently 🎯Trusting yourself 🤝Keeping small promises to yourself 💬Building habits that don’t feel like a personality overhaul overnight 😮‍💨🌱Because honestly—why is our first instinct always:“why can’t I just be better?” 😭Instead of:“What would make this easier to come back to?” 👀💭Safe discipline looks like:gentle routines 🌿familiar rhythms 🔁doing the bare minimum… but doing it again 🔄✨Every time you show up for yourself, you build credibility with yourself 📈Like… you start believing your own chat again 😭😂Evidence that you matter to yourself 🧡A quiet form of self-love (even if it’s a bit ghetto some days 😭🤭)So be a dala rot for yourself 🐀🧡Soft… but you don’t fold 😌💪🏽Anyway — we’re back 🎙️✨Same us. Better habits (we’re trying 😭🤞🏽)

“Being activated doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means something needs your attention.” 🔊👂🏽In this episode, we unpack one of the biggest healing myths: that being triggered means you’re going backwards. It doesn’t. Healing isn’t about becoming unbothered — it’s about learning how to return to yourself without shame. 🏠❤️‍🩹Look, getting triggered does not mean you’re slip sliding back into old, harmful ways. 🛝It doesn’t mean that you are failing at life as a person. You are still allowed to feel a full spectrum of emotions like jealousy, fear and guilt. 🎭This episode reframes healing as regulation, repair, and self-trust — not perfection. A secure relationship isn’t one without triggers; it’s one where rupture can be followed by repair, communication, and safety. 👷🏽‍♀️🏗️We want you to have a regulated nervous system - but like, what does that even mean? Don’t worry. We got you covered. Shaheena shares lekker breathing exercises and mantras to help you get started. 💆🏽‍♀️🧘🏽‍♀️You are not broken because you felt something deeply.You are healing because you noticed it — and chose safety instead of shame. 🌱🌻Triggered doesn’t mean damaged. It means you’re learning a new way to come home to yourself.

Hey Skinnebekkies! The weekend is almost here 😝And if you’re anything like us, you need something to get you over the finish line.So we’re choosing softness this week. In this episode, we unpack what a real soft life actually looks like.Everyone wants a soft life…Until it requires a hard conversation. 🗣️🥊💬Soft life isn’t face masks and bath bombs, it’s truth bombs. 💆🏽‍♀️🛀🏽🧼It has nothing to do with aesthetics, filters, or disappearing to keep the peace. 🪷☮️Softness isn’t passive. It’s honest, regulated, and protected by boundaries. 😌🧘🏽‍♀️We talk about:Why rest without guilt is revolutionaryHow boundaries are the work behind peaceSaying no without a backstory, apology, or emotional cushioningThe difference between peacekeeping and actual peaceWhy feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrongHow firmness with others allows softness with yourselfIf you’ve ever:Explained yourself into exhaustionSaid yes while resenting itConfused people-pleasing with kindnessWanted peace but felt scared to enforce itThis episode is for you.So go make a cup of coffee or tea, sit down, and lock in. ☕🍵It’s all about no, no, no, no, no and not, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 🎵🎶

Season Four is HERE 🖤🌱We’re back, babes.New season. New look. Is it cute?This episode, we're defaulting back to our factory settings, like for your phone, except not, it's for you, and we are asking who we were before all the trauma?Who are you without survival mode?Without labels?Without other people’s expectations?Because softness doesn’t mean avoiding hard truths.Sometimes healing hurts before it heals.Sometimes growth is klom cringe.Sometimes it’s laughing through the discomfort.And yes — it is okay to care what people think of you.Stop lying to yourself if you’re pretending it’s not.This episode is honest.It’s tender.It’s funny.It’s uncomfortable in the way that leads to freedom.Eeeeeeeeeeeek.Sound good?Okay lekker 😌💫

🤔 Who are you when no one’s watching?📸 And who are you when everyone is?We talk about the gap between who we are and who we post.Why we only see the highlights.Why validation isn’t wrong — but pretending might be.Oversharing. Lying. Parasocial relationships.And the quiet pressure of living life according to social media timelines.This episode dives into the real self vs the online persona — validation, oversharing, curated lives, and the quiet pressure to live life by the feed.Messy. Honest. Necessary. 💥Aagh you know where the links are bestie x

Two VERY different things, but ag… life will mos teach you until you learn properly.We spoke about naming your boundaries, setting them, and actually keeping them — even when it feels kak uncomfortable 😅.Early detection is ALWAYS easier… for you and for the guilty parties 😂.Family, friends, romantic partners — nobody is exempt.Boundaries aren’t disrespect 🙅🏽‍♀️They’re clarity.They’re care.They’re the difference between connection and full-blown chaos 💥.And babes — watch for the vibes, but not whole time whole time 👀😂. LISTEN instead.That’s the important part.Because as usual… the technical grinch got us 😒😂Don’t vesuip in the boundaries. Hold them with softness, but HOLD THEM.

This took 7 years. Osss is MOEG.The technicals still have us in a chokehold and honestly… at this point? It is what it is, maaan. 😭🎙️But we made it. And we’re coming in HOT with something I legit never heard of before: Limerance.Wat is daai even? 👀All I’m saying is… once you know, you can’t un-know. And suddenly?HARD RELATE.Skat, we’ve ALL been there… maybe. 😅Come laugh with us, at us — ek care nie.Just listen, and maybe learn something new about yourself… or someone you smaak. 👀💛🎧 Linky links in the bio.

I wasn’t grieving him — I was grieving the version of my life I thought I finally deserved. 💔The loss wasn’t the person… it was the future I let myself believe in.Future faking doesn’t just break your heart — it breaks your imagination.I didn’t fall for him; I fell for the future he painted — and that’s what hurt.The betrayal wasn’t in the leaving, it was in the dreaming.Healing began when I realised I wasn’t naive — I was hopeful. ✨I had to forgive myself for loving a life that never existed.Rebuilding self-trust starts here: hope didn’t fail me — he did.The hardest goodbye is the one you say to the future you thought was yours.It wasn’t delusion. It was desire — and someone took advantage of that.🔥 Disclaimer: The video quality is ass, but the conversation is FIRE. Just be lekker and listen — you mos don’t need to see us. 😌

Netflix: “Here’s another serial killer series.”Us: “Lekker. Add spice and all the sauce — we’ll take a full Gatsby, cut in 4.” 😭💀From horror to habit, babes — the macabre’s got us in a chokehold.Netflix feeds, we consume, then act ‘so disturbed’ like we didn’t just binge the whole thing in one night 😭What the actual, babes?! Hoekom?We’re talking Monsters, specifically Ed Gein — and our sick craving for the dark side 👀But like… what does that actually say about us?Is OS okay? Or does this deeply disturbing content make the real world feel a bit more bearable?Thing is though — these stories are true! 💀🎧 New episode out now. Go listen there, man.

“Women are not the problem. Men are the problem for other men.”Zane spitting bars — like Eminem in the early noughties 😤🔥Yes, the sound quality is kak — blame me (Nabeelah) 🙋🏽‍♀️😅BUT… this conversation is way too important not to share.We’re talking masculinity, accountability, vulnerability —and how our mens treat each other… not just women.🎧 Join the conversation.💙 Tag a man who needs to hear this.#MensMentalHealth #Accountability #CapeColouredPodcast #SeenAndHeard #LetsTalkMensYou can follow Zane here: https://www.instagram.com/zane_udemans/https://www.youtube.com/@inthedogbox5391

Okay, we had some technical issues 😅But she’s finally here — Episode 2! 🎧Here you go…A whole train wreck of growth — realisations, learnings, and a few “maybe I was the problem” moments.We talk accountability, emotional maturity, and that uncomfortable part of healing no one really preps you for. 💭It’s messy, honest, and maybe a little too real — just how we like it. 💅🏽

What if love languages have been lost in translation all along? 👀What is this emotional dialect you speak of? 💬What if we don’t speak the same one? Are we doomed… or learning new languages at our ripe old age? 😏 Naaauuuurr… or maybe yes? 🤷🏽‍♀️❤️ Words of Affirmation as bait.🛠 Acts of Service as control.🎁 Gifts with strings.⏱ Quality Time as surveillance.🤝 Physical Touch as possessiveness.Love languages… or manipulation in disguise? 👀

From the first scribbles in a hidden journal to finding my voice in stories nobody ever told about us—writing became my safe space, my mirror, my medicine. 🖊️💭In this episode, we open up about:✍🏽 Writing the words you struggle to say out loud.✍🏽 The stories missing from books, but living in our communities.✍🏽 Facing pain on the page—and finding healing in the mess.✍🏽 How words have the ability to connect you to others, and not just yourself.Because sometimes, the page is the only place that listens without judgment. And sometimes, it’s where the healing begins.Join us for our last Skinne session of this Season.You can find Shaheena's book's here: https://www.amazon.com/author/shaheenalinks

From harmless white lies to compulsive deception, we’re digging into the truth behind dishonesty. Is radical honesty the answer—or a disaster waiting to happen? Join us for an honest conversation about lies, trust, and everything in between!But also don't be a liegbek man! It's really not lekker.

We’re back, and this week we’re diving headfirst into the icy waters ❄️ of the so-called friendzone. Spoiler alert: it’s not a magical land ✨, it’s just… friendship.Why do some of you insist on pitching a tent ⛺ there like it’s Rocking the Daisies? 🎪🙃 We’re breaking down why being “nice” 😇 doesn’t earn you romance 💘, why friendship is a blessing 🙌 (not a punishment 🚫), and how this whole trope is dripping in patriarchy 👑.Shaheena has a mini-meltdown 😵‍💫 (iconic ✨), Nabs is so done 🙄 with the nonsense, and we leave you with this:🔥 The friendzone does NOT exist. Either we’re friends 🤝, or you like me and I don’t like you 💁‍♀️. So… is friendship enough for you or nah?🎧 Tune in, hear us confess the mess 🫣, and maybe unlearn a few things along the way.

🌸 Motherhood, daughterhood, and everything in between 🌸 Fraught. Fragile. Worth fighting for. 💔✨Can love carry us through the things we inherited… and the things we’re still learning to let go of? 🕊️From fraught bonds to healing ones — this week we unpack the raw, complex, and oh-so beautiful journey of mother–daughter relationships: 💭 Are they destined for conflict? 💭 Do they ease with time or with motherhood? 💭 And what happens when generations — unhealed and healing — live under one roof?We share our own stories, the lessons we’re still learning, and the love that keeps pulling us back. 💕

Some stories don’t let you sleep at night — this is one of them.We’re diving deep into Netflix’s Adolescence, exploring gender-based violence, the manosphere, and a generation of boys lost in a world that feels more dangerous every day. A generation raised on the internet. Who’s to blame? How do we save our kids from the harsh, very real, and dangerous realities of this world? Can we? Wys me because honestly I am not sure {crying emoji}This episode is heavy, raw, and too important to ignore.How did Adolescence leave you feeling — angry, heartbroken, or something else? Drop your thoughts below – let’s talk. ⚠️ Trigger warning: gender-based violence.

🎙️ NEW EPISODE DROP 🎙️Chatting to men… but not looking for a relationship. Hoekom?!? Speks? Boontjies? Stop it!We’re talking:💭 The ego boost — are we just here for validation?😅 Lonely, bored or low-key insecure? Let’s unpack.🧪 A little social experiment — is it wrong to test your boundaries on someone else?We’re not saying we are the problem… but maybe, maybe we’re not not saying it either 👀

🎙️ NEW EPISODE DROP 🎙️Just when you’ve moved on, healed, and started thriving… POP! 👀 That one ex appears out of nowhere like it's their full-time job.Why do they always resurface? We’re unpacking:🧟‍♂️ What is dead may never die – why won’t they let go?🦈 Can they smell your happiness like sharks smell blood?📩 Sliding into DMs while they’re boo’d up – make it make sense.💭 Regret hits different when you fumble the dream woman.Grab your earphones and join us for laughs, rants, and some real talk about those unwanted comebacks.🎧 Listen now on

We’re back! Season 2 kicks off with us finding our feet, offering opinions no one asked for, and sounding like we’re in the bath sipping on non-alcoholic drinks.We're leading with honesty, exposing our desperation, and owning the roles we played — portraying the mother instead of the partner. Enablers? Maybe.But also... why are the manne like this?!We’re tired of being Barb the Builder.We can’t be your mom and your sex-kitten, bru. Be so for real.Links to Oona Arlo's books:https://www.amazon.com/Sabrina-September-Liar-steamy-romance-ebook/dp/B0BTYWXVK8?ref_=saga_ast_ss_dsk_dphttps://www.amazon.com/Stop-Running-Tori-Baker-romance-ebook/dp/B0C28HW15K?ref_=saga_ast_ss_dsk_dphttps://www.amazon.com/House-Wicked-romantic-suspense-novel-ebook/dp/B0D4FC9BVV?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Imagine going to a Coldplay concert for the vibes and hours later you are the meme. Caught on camera with your side piece. On 16 July in Boston, the kiss cam caught Andy Byron (billionaire tech CEO nogal) and Kristen Cabot (his HR lady nogal) looking rather cosy — except they’re both married… just not to each other. Yoh.Next thing, Andy's hiding behind glass?! like bru was caught outside the mosque during trawie. His wife drops his surname and disappears off socials. LinkedIn turns into IG. Memes everywhere.We chat about the skandaal, workplace boundaries, privacy for who?, and ask: why are we so obsessed with people we don’t know?Come for the scandal, stay for the side-eyes and satire.

Our last episode is going live today and it's a whole mess hahahaha!You sent us some of your problems and we reacted to them and then spoke a whole bunch of nonsense in-between.Thank you so much for joining us for our first season and for all the support. We are so grateful to each and every listener. Season two planning is underway and we're so excited to share more with you soon!To our Muslim listeners, good luck with the last few days of the fast. To everyone else, enjoy the long weekend! It's our last one for a while.✨️🌸💗 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode comes with a TRIGGER WARNING my Skinne Bekkies. If these are terms ignite memories of experiences you are working hard to heal from, leave you feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable, then please skip this episode:-Gaslighting-Mental illness-Suicide-Poverty and Mental Wellness-Childhood trauma As three women of colour with different experiences and struggles with mental health, we explore the complexities around how we firstly identify the problem and then seek treatment. As women of colour most of us do not have space for the exploration all versions of ourselves. Self-exploration is a luxury that usually, in South Africa, comes with a certain amount of affluence.Why are we as a community so stunted in terms of our education around mental illness? Is our current way of life contributing to the rising wave of people who are struggling? What does it really mean to be poor and struggling in South Africa? With tender hearts we touch on the very real reality that women and girls of colour face on the daily. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cheaters gonna cheat. Once a cheater always a cheater? Have you ever been cheated on or are you the one wearing the stripes? See what I did there? In this episode we're talking ALL things cheating. Emotional cheating vs physical cheating, is there a difference - which is worse? Betrayal, rejection and the breakdown of trust, can relationships survive it? What would you do?Your bff is being cheated on? Crickets or are you spilling? Nabs seems to think that everyone is capable of cheating. Do you agree? Shaheena's flirt is always on, is she just an innocent flirt or not so much? Nikki thinks cheating needs to be discussed up front, get those boundaries tight from the get go. Is that enough though? Listen and tell us what you think.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s time for introspection! Do you have friends that leave you feel drained, emotionally unsupported, envious, or just generally meh?  Today we’re talking about toxic friends. We explore how we, as women, develop toxic friendship traits from the playground, all the way though to high school and we never really leave those high school days behind. What role do we play in toxic friendships? Sometimes what feels like a problem is a result of something happening internally, within ourselves.  Join us and listen while we unpack: Isolation and exclusion Manipulation, unhealthy competition, and jealousy Love bombing your friends The pain of the friendship breakupHow to identify the behaviors that make us toxic to others and how to identify when they are being turned towards us Have we truly left the playground politics behind? Or is the catty, clique-y behaviour so entrenched in how we interact with other women that we’re doomed to always circle back to toxic behaviour? One thing is clear, in addition to dodging toxic men we also have to deal with toxic friendships.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to episode 4! We've got big things to talk about during this episode, specifically the treacherous dating landscape after a divorce for a Muslim woman. What's it really like in these Attar perfumed streets and how are we supposed to navigate it? Do I become a second wife? How do I manage having a blended family? But what we really wanna know - should we give up and become the cat lady with 10 dildos?  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to episode 3! We're covering a lot!Has being bis, or as it is known in colloquial terms, being nosy and curious become more acceptable?We are always looking for people to spill the tea and we love spilling the tea ourselves. I mean we're called Skinne Bekke for a reason. In the past being bis was hard, but now with us sharing so much of our lives it is easier to dish up the dirt on acquaintances, colleagues and our crushes that we are spying on. Let's dig in to find out when being bis is okay or when you must hou jou bek and keep it moving.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode we're talking about Hello Darlings, Tasneem Moosa and the role influencers have to play in the trust we, the consumers, place in brands.Tasneem 'Taz' Moosa and the uncle who took your CV 2 years ago to 'see what he can do', are very much in the same WhatsApp group.Just like we handed over our newly edited CV’s with our best selfie on the cover page, in faith and hope, some of us handed over the kroon, ‘Here, take my money Tazz’ we said. We waited in hope of a holiday, and instead, we got crickets. niks, fokall. Unless you are under a rock or maybe Eskom fucked up your router and you have had limited internet access this past week- by now you must have heard about The South African Holiday Swindler. Taz is now not only a skelm but also a reformed spoek - she literally vanished and then reappeared this weekend to tell us that she absolutely did not steal anyone's money, she just took it and used it to send influencers on holiday... Hmmm ok.The mense are bok. They are angry. In this episode we talk Taz, her darlings, the influencers who endorsed her... I mean, and how this happened? How man? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our #1 Episode is LIVE and in it we dissect the shit show that is online dating.We talk about The Tinder Swindler and how quickly people with no clue came with their judgeragge Judge Judy gedagtes,  unwarranted advice and opinions and seemed to miss the point entirely. We discuss Nice Guys who can be found waiting in the ‘friendzone’ - what is that even?-  waiting for you to have an epiphany and come to the realisation that he is The one for you. Also trades fake human decency as social currency with the expectation of sex in return. We see you. (eyes emoji)If you’re colour blind and are not seeing the red, the flags we mean, we can help.  We talk about setting healthy boundaries and when ghosting is actually acceptable. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to our chaos Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.