This Is Healing

How do you cope with a timeline you want no part of? It's the question everyone asks and nobody answers with any honesty. In this episode of This Is Healing, I go deep into what grief actually is — not a problem to be solved, not a stage to move through, but an ocean you learn to live beside. I talk about the difference between coping and building capacity, why the five stages of grief fail the moments that matter most, what the nervous system is still reaching for when the person is gone, and what it means to continue moving through life when the person you loved is not. This is not a recovery story. There is no resolution here. There is only the truth of where I am — in time and space — and an invitation to anyone carrying something to recognize themselves in it. If this episode finds you at the right moment, send it to one person who needs to hear it.

I went to turn on music before hitting record and it logged into Patrick's account. Not mine. His. And I just sat there — because that is exactly how grief works. Not in the dramatic moments. In the quiet ones that slip in without warning and take everything for a second.This episode is called Liminal Timeline because that is where I am. The in-between. Not who I was and not yet whoever comes next.This week I flew to Cincinnati for the second hearing of the Reagan Tokes Patrick Heringer Act — the legislation that carries Patrick's name — and then drove twelve and a half hours to Omaha with no space in between. By Friday I had nothing left. My nervous system was done. I couldn't show up for Rae the way I wanted to. I couldn't fake being okay. And I stopped trying.In this episode I talk about what it actually costs to be functional in rooms that require it. I talk about walking back into Cincinnati — a city that holds the version of my life that no longer exists — and not being able to cry there. I talk about the jaguar mask I got tattooed on my body in Omaha, what the shaman heals first, and why that mask has been living in my mind since Patrick and I went to Costa Rica together. I talk about how grief has changed my sacral authority in Human Design, why hotels will never feel the same, what MDMA opened on a Wednesday when I was looking for relief, and what came through when it did: love yourself the way that Patrick loved you.And I talk about spring arriving early in the Colorado mountains — the most beautiful spring I can remember — and how beauty doesn't soften grief. It sharpens it. Every beautiful thing is a reminder of what exists. And who isn't here to see it."Still being here isn't the same as being okay. It's just still being here. And sometimes that's enough."This Is Healing is my real-time account of navigating grief and loss. I am not the gold standard. I am not doing this right. I am learning the shape of it by impact. If you have been putting words to something you've been carrying for a long time — I think that thing might be grief. This episode is for you.Subscribe. Leave a comment. Send questions — I'm answering them in the descriptions.#grief #healing #thisishealing #liminalspace #grieving #widowsfire #humandesign #mentalhealthpodcast #loss #podcast

What grief does to the body and how we build the capacity to stay alive inside a life we never chose.Have you ever wondered what grief actually does to the body?Nine months ago my husband was murdered in our home. This morning I finished the CrossFit Open ranked in the top ninety four percent in the world.Which raises a strange question.How do you keep living after everything changes?In this episode I talk about trauma, grief, nervous system capacity, rage, recovery, and rebuilding a life after catastrophic loss. It is about learning how not to disappear.

Most of our culture talks about grief as if it lives on a calendar. People say things like “it’s been a year” or “time heals.” But when I heard a line in the film Hamnet, something in me recognized a deeper truth. Grief does not live in years. It lives in seconds. It lives in minutes. It lives in heartbeats. In this episode I talk about what it means to survive grief, and why surviving can sometimes feel more disorienting than the loss itself.I also explore the parts of grief people rarely admit out loud. The moments when you laugh and feel guilty. The moments when envy rises because you are witnessing the life you thought you would still be living. The anger when people say “you and Patrick had something most people never get.” And the quiet realization that sometimes what sounds like a compliment is actually someone else’s grief showing up sideways.Finally, I step into something larger. The ancient idea of samsara, the wheel of human experience, where love and loss are not mistakes but part of the same turning. Because grief eventually forces a question most of us spend our lives avoiding: Is the goal to avoid suffering, or is the point to love fully even though it will burn?

This episode might sound like it’s about sex, drugs, and rock and roll. In some ways, it is. But not in the way people expect.This is a ten-day window into what grief actually looks like inside a body. The watching. The wanting. The ego. The collapse. The seventy dollars of DoorDash. The prison sentence feeling. The nervous system spiral. The choice to interrupt it.I talk about being watched by men again and what that wakes up in me. I talk about widow sexuality without sanitizing it. I talk about oxytocin and PTSD and the reality that sometimes being touched is not indulgence — it’s regulation. walk you through the day I chose MDMA — not as escapism, not as performance, but as medicine. I talk about why Patrick and I used it in our marriage, how secure attachment is built and not won, and what happened in the shower when the grief reorganized instead of disappeared.I talk about the queen image that has followed me since my twenties. I talk about sovereignty. I talk about the moment the sentence shifted from “this is a prison” to “this is a conduit.”I talk about Shabbat at another widow’s table. About Jewish grief rituals and how communal mourning holds people differently than American resilience culture.And I talk about this:I am not done loving.There will be another king.There will be another love.And that does not erase the first.This is not a neat lesson episode.This is process.This is oscillation.This is what it looks like to stay.

It’s been eight months since my husband, Patrick, died.In this episode, I talk about what grief actually asks of me. Not emotionally. Socially. Physically. Relationally.Grief doesn’t just live in my heart.It lives in my body.It lives in my relationships.And it lives in how I move through the world with other people.I share what has helped, what hasn’t, how masking my grief shows up in my nervous system, and what I’m learning about telling the truth without managing other people’s comfort.This episode is about learning that grief isn’t something I get over.It’s something I learn how to carry.A poem by Mary Oliver became the interruption I didn’t know I needed and helped me see this week’s lesson more clearly.

I’m back for the first time since January 9th. This episode comes from my new home in Colorado and tells the full story of what these past weeks have actually been like. I talk about settling into a new house, building safety, finding unexpected joy, and what grief looks like when it no longer consumes every second but never fully leaves.I share what it was like to be pulled back into early grief by a song from The National, how endurance is not the same thing as purpose, and what it means to keep staying when the reason for living hasn’t fully revealed itself yet. This episode moves through glimmers, anger, sovereignty, capacity, disappointment, and the reality of starting over without the person I made decisions with.

This episode was recorded from my new family room in Colorado, sitting in front of an enormous stone fireplace, looking out at snow I can’t even quantify. Eight inches. Ten. Maybe three feet. Who’s to say. What matters is that it’s here. And that I am here.This is a fireside reflection on why I left Cincinnati when I did, and why it was never just about the cold. It was the gray. Grief already compromises the nervous system. Seasonal depression was already part of my pattern even when Patrick was alive. I was not going to stack suffering on top of suffering this year.I talk about the stress of moving inside grief, what it meant to pack one box at a time, and the quiet moment when I realized my memory was starting to come back. Not all at once. Just enough to notice. Enough to feel like progress.From there, the episode moves into a complete redefinition of strength. Not endurance. Not white knuckling. Not grit. Strength as slowing down. Listening before the body screams. Paying attention to insomnia, hunger, money, and the ways the nervous system tells the truth long before the mind catches up.I share the moment I had to write a thirty-one-thousand-dollar check to the biohazard company, and how money hits the body as safety when everything else has already fallen apart. Grief is not just emotional. It is cellular. It disorients time, memory, purpose, and identity.The story of Operation Hummingbird unfolds through the drive west with Matt and Rachel, a ridiculous game of Would You Rather, and the moment lunch turned into tears when my body finally had enough fuel to let the sadness arrive. “Well, I’ve eaten. So now I’m sad.”This episode weaves through coping, sobriety, nervous system capacity, and why grief cannot be met with toughness. I talk about softness, pliability, and why you can’t harden around loss without calcifying around what’s missing.There is space here for psilocybin, not as escape, but as widening the riverbanks so feeling can move again. For trust without clarity. For the hummingbird as symbol, flying without a map and believing the nectar will appear.I talk about hope as location, not optimism. Where it lives for me right now. Where it doesn’t. About not wanting to be with anyone and not wanting to be alone. About changing in order to survive, and the fear of not knowing who I am becoming.The episode closes with beauty that isn’t pretty, and the question grief keeps asking underneath everything. Can you love without an object. Can you stay open when there is no repair.This episode does not offer resolution.It offers honesty.

This episode was recorded on New Year’s Eve.Not as a celebration. Not as a resolution.Just a pause.I recorded this at seven o’clock, sitting among half-packed boxes, the year ending without ceremony. A threshold moment. Quiet. Undecorated. Honest.This episode is a fireside reflection on presence, grief, and identity. On what it means to live after an ending that doesn’t resolve. On the loss of a life, a future, a role, and the version of me who existed before June 4th. Not metaphorically. Literally.I talk about grief that dismantles more than a relationship. Grief that rearranges the self. The loss of being a wife. The loss of a shared narrative. The loss of certainty. And what it means to let an identity die without trying to resurrect it for comfort.From there, the conversation moves into presence. How connection, not productivity or performance, is what keeps me here. How sitting with people without managing the room has become the only thing that feels real.This episode weaves through existentialism, the year of the snake, and the work of shedding. Why I don’t believe freedom comes from erasing identity. Why impermanence is not the same as meaninglessness. Why not knowing what comes next does not mean something has gone wrong.There is space here for psilocybin, grief, and memory. For meeting the child who believed in happily ever after. For reliving a wedding day and grieving it not because it wasn’t real, but because it was.I also talk about tradition. The difference between ritual and routine. Why doing something just because you always have, without meaning, becomes its own kind of tyranny.This episode doesn’t offer resolution.It offers honesty.I am here.I am staying.I don’t know who I’m becoming yet.But I’m willing to find out.

This episode was recorded on a Friday afternoon when the wind cancelled my walk. A small disruption that opened a much larger conversation. About capacity. About loss. About what happens when the version of you who could always muscle through no longer exists.I talk about the kind of grief that takes more than a person. The grief that dismantles identity. The loss of high functioning. The loss of certainty. The loss of the self who could override exhaustion, fear, and pain with competence. This episode is about what it means to live inside that stripping, without turning it into a lesson or a performance.From there, the conversation moves through fear and how it disguises itself as wisdom. How fear narrows your world while calling itself logic. How spreadsheets, productivity, and “being smart” can become socially acceptable ways to avoid grief. The wind outside becomes a metaphor for the season I’m in. A season of release. Of things being pulled loose without my consent.I share what it was like to return, briefly, to an old identity while teaching my final early morning classes. The muscle memory. The preparation rituals. The ache that arrived without warning. And the realization that slipping back into an old role does not mean you are meant to stay there.This episode also weaves into relationships and intimacy. Why intensity is often mistaken for connection. Why chemistry can be an activated nervous system rather than love. Why real intimacy, especially for women, requires safety. Consistency. Reliability. And why those things can feel uncomfortable or boring when your body has been trained on instability.At its core, this episode is about authenticity. Not as a brand or a declaration, but as a lived practice. Authenticity as honoring your actual capacity. Authenticity as letting yourself be limited without turning that limitation into shame. Authenticity as allowing everything to feel like loss without rushing to redeem it.The episode closes with the image of a bare tree. Not dead. Just honest. And a recognition that not everything being removed is bad. Some of it is the end of a costume. Some of it is preparation.I am not offering resolution here. I am offering truth. I am in the dark. I am being stripped. And I am still here.

This episode was recorded after lunch with Jessica, another widow living inside the same weather. We talk about something grief teaches you fast: insight is not what settles it. Connection is.From there, the conversation widens into two things that quietly determine how grief shapes a person over time: your worldview and your capacity. If you believe this world is all there is, grief can become existential. If you hold even the possibility of “this world, other world,” grief still devastates you, but it has a container.We also talk about health, not as an aesthetic, but as resources. The basics that allow a nervous system to metabolize loss. And we talk about the algorithm, how online grief groups can both help and trap you, because the feed is not a village.Then I share the personal piece: waking up nauseous, the story that tried to form around it, and the moment I realized the nausea was not my grief. It was my trauma. I explain EMDR simply, and why I did it: not to become tougher, but to make sure trauma did not become me.This episode ends with Colorado as landing, the desert as initiation, the wisdom returning to the mountains, and a thank you to Cincinnati for holding me through the last six months. I’m not “over it.” I’m rooting. And I’m starting to notice glimmers.

This episode is not a lesson from the other side of grief. It’s a transmission from inside the season of it — winter, holidays, six months since Patrick’s murder, and the disorientation of living in a world that refuses to pause even when your life has split in two.I talk about the physical reality of grief, the shock of naming what happened, the first winter without him, and the moment I woke up and didn’t have to remember he was gone — because my body already knew.I talk about holidays, rituals without purpose, resisting performance, and why I refused to stand in the same traditions as if the only thing missing this year was a place card with his name. I share the story of spending Thanksgiving in pajamas, eating a charcuterie board, watching Dune and Seven, and white-knuckling my way through the day.This episode is about permission — permission to feel, permission to name the truth, permission to not tidy what is untidy. It’s about how grief rearranges you, how laughter and pain now sit in the same breath, and how human we become when we stop trying to make suffering palatable.It’s a conversation about presence, impermanence, the breadcrumb path, and why the only way forward is to stay awake in the moment you’re in — because the old future is gone, and the new one can only be sensed, not planned.This is an episode for anyone navigating their own first season “after.” Anyone who can feel the texture of their grief pressing beneath their rib cage. Anyone who is learning how to live inside a world that has remade itself without their consent.

This episode is not a lesson from the other side of healing. It’s a transmission from the middle of it. I talk about losing Patrick, the physical reality of grief, the instinct to escape, and the question that sits beneath every decision I make now: is this presence or is this running?I talk about the desert, the condo I almost bought, Phoenix, survival, spirit visitations, and what it means to choose the next breadcrumb instead of the whole map. This is an episode about love after loss, the body’s truth, the nervous system, and the spiritual presence that continues even when the physical world ends.It’s an invitation into the deeper work: learning to stay alive with the grief instead of trying to outrun it.

Five months in. I check in from the middle of it—no polish, no silver linings. This episode is a real-time download on grief, the pressure to “settle,” why healing isn’t a before/after story, and how I’m learning to trust myself in the dark. I talk about community, seasonal shifts, vision boards as an action practice, and the question that keeps circling: What is good?I close with a spoken piece by the same name.

I open This Is Healing on a trial-update day with that wired, manic energy grief can carry. I share why I skipped the last two hearings (on my therapist’s advice), where the criminal case actually is (still pre-trial), and why systems like healthcare, the justice machine, and corporate capitalism feel like constructs that don’t hold a soul like mine. I name what happened the night Patrick died, the reality of my agency, and why I’m pursuing a civil case for negligence.I move through the dreams where Patrick returns, my brain’s refusal to comprehend absence, and what “healing” means for me now: not fixing, but finding and staying with myself. I offer the six kinds of rest that help me, how I’m managing pain without “polishing a turd,” and I close with my Día de los Muertos story—an owl on the roadside, a despacho, and my prayer to be given vision, not outcomes.

There’s a point after someone dies when the mind begins to adapt but the body refuses.It keeps reaching for what it knew—his weight, his breath, the pattern of safety that lived in his skin.It’s not metaphor. It’s biology. The absence has chemistry.Since Patrick was killed, my nervous system has been running old code: the body hunting for touch, for regulation, for proof of existence. I wake up in the middle of the night crying and aroused, my body still mid-conversation with someone who isn’t here. This episode is about that—the collision of sex and grief, the way desire becomes the body’s language for loss.Patrick and I treated sex as craft. As prayer. A practice of nervous-system worship. We called it Saturday Things. Every exhale was a form of communication: I’m safe, you’re safe, the world can wait. Now the ritual is gone, but the circuitry remains. The brain remembers through chemistry—oxytocin, cortisol, dopamine—hormones that wire the body for connection. When the bond is broken, those same systems turn feral. The craving isn’t just for pleasure. It’s for regulation, for the familiar rhythm that kept the chaos quiet.No one warns you how physical grief is. How time becomes insulting. How the nervous system doesn’t care about calendars or condolences. This is what happens when the intellect understands loss but the body refuses to participate in forgetting.I talk about the biology of absence. About circular time, sleepless nights, the myth of healing, the lie of progress. About the way the trauma body resists stillness, the way scrolling offers counterfeit aliveness, the way desire and denial live side by side.It’s about Costa Rica—the fantasy of returning to where we were still alive, and the truth that wherever you go, the ache comes with you.It’s about the neuroscience of vision boards, why the brain needs images of a future to rewire belief.It’s about family and shared grief, the exhaustion of being mirrors to each other’s pain.And it’s about what helps: soup, breath work, movement, prayer.This isn’t a sermon. It’s field notes from the body.A study in what happens when regulation disappears and instinct takes over.A love story written in cortisol and memory.

One time at shaman camp, my teacher made it very clear: I am not a shaman.And I’m not supposed to do shaman things to other people. Everything I learned was for me—to practice, to embody, to remember how to heal myself first.This episode is a ritual. We start with a prayer—an invitation, not a command—then get honest about what shamanic work actually is: humility, reciprocity, perception.I’ll take you through Snake medicine, core wounds, and a simple morning ritual that pulls you out of fear and back into your life.No glitter. No spiritual cosplay. Just the work.What I learned at shaman camp wasn’t about channeling spirits or waving feathers—it was about getting real with my own shadow, seeing where I’ve been hiding, and learning how to make beauty from the mess.We’ll open the four directions, talk about the Mesa—the living altar that holds your story—and the despacho, the ceremony of giving. We’ll talk about what it means to heal without fixing, to let go without losing, and to remember that you are already luminous.This isn’t a sermon. It’s a remembering.It’s what happens when you go looking for answers and end up finding yourself barefoot in the dirt, covered in smoke and prayer, realizing the point was never to transcend being human—it was to become more deeply it.

There’s a shamanic belief I hold close: when someone dies, their wisdom returns to the mountains. Bone becomes stone, blood becomes river, breath becomes wind. The body goes back to the land, but the deep knowing — the essence of who they were — waits there, woven into the ridgelines. That’s where I feel Patrick most.In this episode, I talk about taking his ashes back to Colorado, the place where our story began, and how the land itself is teaching me to slow down. I share what it’s been like to sit in the thousand small losses after the unbearable one, to crawl through the dirt of grief, and to start piecing together who I might become now.I talk about what family dinners taught me about healing, how psychedelic medicine cracked me open to deeper truths, and why I changed my name as part of reclaiming my identity. I wrestle with performance, activism, and what it means to be seen — and how I’m learning to want life again after everything fell apart.This isn’t about rushing toward healing or pretending I’m okay. It’s about the slow, painful crawl through grief, the humility of walking alongside others, and the moments when the ache feels like it might swallow you but doesn’t. It’s about learning to carry Patrick’s love forward — and becoming someone new along the way.Key TakeawaysThe wisdom of those we love doesn’t vanish — it waits for us in stillness.Slowing down is essential. If I move too quickly, I risk showing up unchanged.Grief isn’t an idea; it’s something I feel in my body. And it needs space to move.Identity can be reclaimed. Changing my name was part of choosing a new banner to live under.Desire can return, even after devastation. I felt a spark of it in Colorado, and I’m holding onto that.ReflectionI used to think healing meant going back — to the life I had, the rhythms I knew. Now I understand that returning isn’t the same as coming home. The mountains remind me of that. They hold the wisdom of what was, but they also hold what’s possible. And if I stop trying to outrun the ache, I might just learn how to carry the love that remains.

There’s a moment between exhaustion and clarity when you realize the self you’ve been living inside doesn’t fit anymore. In this episode, I talk about leaving Cincinnati, what my nervous system taught me about safety, the difference between returning and coming home, and why I’m rebuilding as an act of devotion—not performance. Colorado gives me space to soften, grieve, and remember who I was before my life rearranged itself around loss.Key themesThe body knows before the mind (hypervigilance vs. safety)Returning ≠ coming homeLetting the old self go without disowning herGrief and love—two sides of the same truthNon-performative healing; rebuilding from devotionGratitude, impermanence, and choosing what to make of painInternal Family Systems (meeting the 26/27-year-old self)Medicines & integration (ketamine vs. psilocybin—high level, felt experience)Creating spaces of sanctuary and connection

October 1, 2025—my ninth wedding anniversary, and the first without Patrick in the room. I recorded this from Colorado Springs, in the house my friends bought so Patrick and I could live with them. I read a short story I published today and let you into the ritual I made for this morning: two cups of coffee, a Folgers can on the table, and the vow to keep my heart open.This episode isn’t about neat lessons. It’s about road trips and mountains, scattering ashes at Garden of the Gods, the honesty of saying “my old life is gone,” and still choosing love. I talk about the nervous system’s trembling edge, secure attachment, why there’s no U-turn in grief, and the questions I’m carrying into an upcoming ketamine session: How do I want to be witnessed? What’s next when there’s no roadmap? Can I live in the love, not only the wreckage?

I open with a meditation on grief as a remapping of the inner landscape—how it splits life into before/after and becomes a strange, faithful teacher. I share why I took last week off (rage, exhaustion, honesty over performance), what I’m learning about ritual vs. routine, and why “living in the questions” is my work right now. I talk about EMDR in plain language, how sound became a trigger, and what reprocessing is doing to my nights. I also share a dream of Patrick that met me exactly where I was, the fresh grief of letting go of the life we built, and the practice of gratitude in the middle of all of it. At the end, a small, honest request about paid subscriptions and what they make possible for this project.Content note: grief, trauma, panic/night terrors, medication/SSRIs, EMDR therapy, legal process mention.

This is not a self-help podcast. It is a documentary of grief — field notes from inside the aftermath. Ninety-nine days after my husband Patrick was murdered in our home, and nearly two weeks after a psilocybin journey, I speak about what it feels like to survive and still try to make language for it.I talk about sleep returning for the first time in ninety-nine nights, and why grief hijacks rest. About the guilt of getting further away from the last time I saw him, and the rebellion against “getting better.” About doomscrolling as a way of reaching for a ghost, and the shift into new rituals — Cleopatra baths with goat’s milk and oats, fiction returning in the tub, imagination opening again after trauma shut it down.I talk about Patrick as a warrior, and the eagle that keeps appearing — in paintings, in dreams, in the sky — carrying him, guiding me. I talk about the hawk’s first shaky flight, the snake shedding skin, my sister Rae in stillness, and what it costs to molt.This episode is not clean or linear. It moves between the body and the spirit, sleep and wake, grief and fight. It is about love as a vow even after death, and about what it means to free-fall without a net, trusting the wind to bring me home.

For those of you new here, this is my story. Since June 4th, when my husband Patrick was murdered, everything I say carries that date inside of it. This podcast is about grief — not as an idea, but as a body-experience, a descent, a work.In this episode, I take you inside a psilocybin journey at the three-month mark of loss. What unfolded wasn’t abstract “tripping.” It was a ritual. A witnessing. A confrontation with love and grief braided so tightly they could not be separated.We talk about:The difference between coping and capacity — and why grief demands more than survival.How psilocybin works on the brain: what happens when the default mode network goes quiet and your protectors step aside.The descent into the underworld: reunion with Patrick, meeting our daughter Elizabeth, the midwife who doula’d me through both birth and burial.The Four Chambers of grief: Mother, Child, Bride/Wife, Community — and what it means to “lay to rest” without erasing.The shamanic frame that holds this work: serpent, jaguar, hummingbird, eagle; stones as carriers of what the body cannot metabolize; the underworld as the place of exchange between the living and the dead.Witnessing Patrick’s brothers’ pain, and why their grief mattered to my own healing.Patrick’s legacy: the law of love, the Queen and the Warrior, and his gift of teaching people to believe in themselves.Trauma and the body: why awareness isn’t enough, and how EMDR becomes the bridge for release.Integration: the shift from Bride to Matriarch, from certainty to mystery.This is not a story of being “healed.” It’s the story of surviving the fire, of being witnessed, of realizing that grief is not exile but initiation.

This week’s episode begins with an update on Patrick’s case — discovery, sealed evidence, and the reality of waiting years for trial. I share why I pushed for the death penalty, why life in prison isn’t punishment for a man who has already lived most of his life incarcerated, and the fight ahead with the Patrick Heringer Act to bring real-time tracking to ankle monitors.From there, I move into the heart of this podcast: the sacred work of grief. I talk about the descent into the abyss floor — where shock has faded, grief presses heavier on the body, and the haunting question of “what’s the point?” lingers. You’ll hear how grief is subtraction, measured in the days that will never come, and why sadness itself is not “too much,” but sacred.I share how trauma shows up in the body, and what happened when I followed a spark into a jiu-jitsu class — only to be triggered back to the night Patrick died. Through grounding practices, EMDR, and somatic work, I learned to stay present, to trust the whispers of intuition, and to notice where the body says “yes” and “no.”We explore intrusive thoughts and nightmares of wolves as “soul prep,” Patrick’s own philosophy of sheep, sheepdogs, and wolves, and how his identity as a protector ran through his entire life — from nearly dying as a baby, to war, to his final moments.I reflect on the meaning of safety — not control, but refusing to let the wolves steal your peace. A haunting Holocaust photograph illustrates this truth, as do Patrick’s words on never fearing death. Even now, I believe he keeps me safe, guiding me toward the people and paths I need.Finally, I share why I feel called to a psilocybin journey: to seek clarity on my purpose now that the life I wanted has ended. And I close with the line Patrick borrowed from Lost’s Desmond — a line he said often, believing souls travel together across lifetimes: “See you in another life, brother.”For Patrick, I say it now: See you in another life, my love. We will journey again.

On June 4th, my husband Patrick was murdered in our home. He died protecting me. Patrick was a veteran, a war hero decorated with two Bronze Stars and a Combat Infantryman Badge. He came back from combat and built a community of health, resilience, and connection. To me, he was my partner, my best friend, my person.That night shattered everything. Since then, survival has meant swimming, drowning, and sometimes just staring at the waves.This episode is not self-help. It’s not tidy. It’s grief in its rawest form. Together we talk about:How grief lives in the body — the chest, the lungs, the stolen breath.Why we need emotional flood season, not the narrow prison of “fine.”The myth that grief should be ranked or measured.The Five Gates of Grief, a framework from Francis Weller’s The Wild Edge of Sorrow, that gives language to loss, neglect, ancestral burdens, broken futures, and the sorrows of the world.Why rituals and anchors matter — yoga, breath, candles, walking the dog — not to fix us, but to tether us.If you are lying in bed unable to move, if you are exhausted, undone, cracked wide open—I want you to hear this: you are not failing. You are grieving.And it is okay. It is truly okay, to not be okay.

In this episode, I answer one of the most personal questions you sent in: “How can we support you right now?”I speak openly about what it’s like to live inside this grief—feeling anger, jealousy, and sadness without forcing them away or judging them. I share why trying to “fix” me or my grief isn’t helpful, and what actually is: climbing down into the abyss, matching my temperature, and honoring where I am without rushing me through it.I talk about what’s been lost—my partner, my home, my career as I knew it, and the version of myself that existed before June 4th. And I share what’s been gained, even here in the dark: a greater capacity for holding pain, a sharpened sense of what matters, and a new level of discernment for how I spend my time and energy.Spiritually, I believe Patrick now exists with the ancestors, able to see what I can’t. Our connection is no longer in the physical, but I’m learning to live in relationship with him in this different form.I also speak to the practical reality: Patrick and I were both self-employed. My income from working 1:1 with clients is gone. The gym covers its expenses and pays its coaches, but it doesn’t have enough to take care of me. The GoFundMe exists so I can take the time I need to survive this loss without capitalism forcing me back to work before I’m ready. There are fees when someone dies, and day-to-day expenses don’t pause for grief. Every contribution helps remove that weight.If you’ve ever wondered how to truly support someone in the darkest chapter of their life, this is my answer.Go Fund Me Link

In this episode, I bring you inside my recent ketamine therapy session—what it is, how it works, and what it brought forward in me. talk about the science first: why ketamine is used to treat PTSD and depression, how it works in the brain, and what makes it different from psilocybin. But more than that, I talk about what it felt like.What showed up for me in that altered state wasn’t just memory. It was ancestry.It was Patrick.t was the part of me that finally remembered I was chosen.I talk about Internal Family Systems, exile parts, protectors, and how these medicines (when respected) allow us to access what talk therapy often can’t reach. I share my take on the power of integration, consent, and why not all “healing” requires being ripped open.This isn’t advice.This is a transmission.If you’ve ever wondered what ketamine therapy is like—or what it means to grieve at the level of the soul—this episode is for you.

I’m sharing what’s been real for me this week: returning to Colorado Springs, where Patrick and I met, fell in love, and got married. I didn’t go back to relive the past—I went to serve someone I love. And in doing that, I was cracked open in ways I didn’t expect.I talk about Bhakti Yoga—the path of devotion—and how it showed up in cooking for a friend, in grief that lives in the body, and in the moments where I could finally rest. I also share what happened in therapy this week, when I faced the memory I’ve been avoiding: the moment I knew Patrick wasn’t going to survive.I speak about what it means to make decisions from pure intuition, because logic doesn’t apply when the map is gone. And I end with something my therapist told me—an image that helped me understand what grief really is: a ball in a box, constantly hitting the pain button, until one day… it doesn’t.In this episode, I talk about:Cooking and caretaking as a form of loveTrauma stored in the body, not the mindWhy my nervous system finally settled in ColoradoThe truth about intuition-led decisions after lossEMDR, intrusive memories, and the release of the unsaidThe “grief ball in a box” metaphorAnd what I know, with certainty, Patrick would want for me nowThis isn’t clean or tied up. It’s raw and jagged. But it’s real.And if you’re navigating your own grief—or just trying to figure out how to stay in your body when everything feels too loud—then I hope this finds you where you are.Take care of yourself while listening.This episode talks about traumatic memory and loss.If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.We’re not meant to carry grief alone.

This episode is not a how-to. It’s a map. A voice memo from the middle of grief, trauma, and survival.I’m Sarah Heringer—a somatic practitioner, coach, and woman whose life changed in an instant when my husband was murdered protecting me. I’ve spent years studying the body. Now, I’m living inside the truth that healing doesn’t happen in your head—it happens in your tissues, your breath, your nervous system.In this episode, I share the raw reality of what healing is actually like:Why therapy isn’t for fixing—it’s for findingWhat it means to wake up in fight mode, and why it’s not a flawA real, usable breakdown of the nervous system (with the chart I live by)What EMDR brought up for me this weekHow massage and sound therapy broke open something sacredWhy the body crashes after it’s kept you aliveThis is about grief, yes.But it’s also about voice. About memory. About the things your body keeps quiet until it finally feels safe enough to speak.If you’ve ever felt like you’re “doing all the right things” and still can’t get back to center—this one’s for you.It’s not about fixing.It’s about finding the parts of you that never got to come home.

In this episode, I speak honestly about what it means to live through the aftermath of unimaginable trauma. I share the raw experience of surviving my husband’s murder and the unraveling that happens when life doesn’t go back to normal—but everyone else’s does.I explore what’s really beneath the surface of functioning: the rage, the disgust, the guilt, and the grief I’m learning to hold. We talk about the Change Triangle—what core emotions are, why we suppress them, and how our defense mechanisms keep us from feeling what’s true.This isn’t an episode about healing. It’s about building the capacity to stay in your body when everything in you wants to leave. It’s about being witnessed in real-time, without performing or pretending. And it’s about what happens when you let the rage move through—what waits behind it, and what finally gets to be felt.This is not easy listening. But if you’ve ever felt abandoned by the world in your darkest moment, this might be exactly what you need to hear.

In this deeply intimate podcast, I share my journey through complex grief following the devastating loss of my husband, Patrick. With raw honesty, therapeutic insights, and relentless advocacy, I explore the truths we often avoid: grief permanently reshapes us, healing is never linear, and true survival requires confronting the layers within ourselves. I’m here to bear witness to my story—and yours.

Welcome to Healthy Clickbait. I’m Sarah Heringer—somatic life coach, holistic health practitioner, and the creator of The Original Method. In this episode, I’m walking you through exactly what I mean by Skinny Girl Summer—and why I think it’s time we reclaim the word “skinny,” reframe what it means to be healthy, and dismantle the aesthetic culture that keeps women stuck.Let me be clear:This is not about starvation.This is not about shrinking to be liked.This is about metabolic freedom.About getting strong, stable, and hormonally sound.It’s about understanding your nervous system, your cycle, and your biofeedback—so you can actually get results without burning out.Whether you're dealing with inflammation, perimenopause, stubborn weight gain, fatigue, or just plain burnout from trying everything and still not feeling like yourself—this episode gives you the full framework I use with clients to reset the system.What I cover in this episode:Why “skinny” is back in the culture—and how we can reclaim it, not repeat itThe rise of GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic and what no one’s talking aboutThe 9 metabolic & hormonal non-negotiables for sustainable fat lossHow to fix your blood sugar (and why it’s step one for everything else)How to eat enough protein for real—without obsessing over macrosWalking as the most underrated fat loss and nervous system toolThe truth about snacking, cortisol, insulin, and energy crashesHow to sync your workouts to your menstrual cycle (and why it’s a game changer in your 30s, 40s, and beyond)Why you can't outwork a dysregulated nervous system—and what to do instead

WHAT IS STRATEGY & AUTHORITY? –Strategy = how your energy interacts with the world.(e.g., Generators respond, Projectors wait for invitation, Manifestors inform, etc.)Authority = how you make the right decision for yourself once life presents something.→ Not every opportunity is your opportunity.→ Strategy opens the door. Authority tells you whether to walk through it.Drop real-world examples:“Should I go on this trip?”“Should I say yes to this job?”“Do I text this person back?”→ Most people are answering from logic, fear, or pressure — not design.THE 7 AUTHORITIES1. EMOTIONAL AUTHORITY (Solar Plexus)Who has it: ~50% of population (Manifesting Generators, Generators, Projectors, Manifestors)Key truth: Clarity comes over time, not in the moment.Sign: If you're being asked to decide now, it's probably not a yes.Feels like: Emotional wave — high, low, clarity at neutral.Red flags: You say yes too early, then regret it.Personal examples:Saying yes to a podcast when you're amped... then canceling last-minute.Buying into a program at the peak of excitement and ghosting it.2. SACRAL AUTHORITY (Sacral only)Who has it: Pure GeneratorsKey truth: The body knows instantly.Sign: It’s either a full-body yes or it’s not.Feels like: Gut response — uhn-huh / uhn-uhRed flags: You “logic” your way into things.Examples:“I didn’t want to do it but I figured I should.”Coaching people to ask yes/no questions to Generator clients.3. SPLENIC AUTHORITY (Splenic only)Who has it: Some Projectors, ManifestorsKey truth: It’s quiet. It’s now. It won’t repeat itself.Sign: The whisper of “this feels right”Feels like: Intuitive hit, clear bodily signal, no logicRed flags: Waiting too long and missing the window.Examples:“I just knew to turn here.”The client who didn’t take the job and avoided total burnout.4. EGO/HEART AUTHORITYWho has it: Some Manifestors and ProjectorsKey truth: If it doesn’t serve you, it’s a no.Sign: Decision comes from the will — “Do I want it?”Feels like: A strong “yes I want this” from the chestRed flags: Getting trapped in proving or pleasing.Examples:Making decisions to be impressive, not alignedLearning to say, “I want this and that’s reason enough.”5. SELF-PROJECTED AUTHORITYWho has it: Some ProjectorsKey truth: You hear the truth when you speak it aloud.Sign: You need to talk it out.Feels like: Clarity in your voice when you say itRed flags: Isolating and spiraling without expressionExamples:“Once I said it out loud, I knew.”Voxer coaching magic.6. MENTAL/ENVIRONMENTAL AUTHORITYWho has it: Projectors with no inner authorityKey truth: The environment and sounding board matter more than gut or heart.Sign: Clarity comes from hearing yourself in the right spaceFeels like: “I knew when I was there” or “I felt it when I said it out loud.”Red flags: Rushing to decide in pressure or wrong environmentsExamples:Leaving your house and suddenly knowing the answerDecision clarity when in nature, not on Slack7. LUNAR AUTHORITYWho has it: ReflectorsKey truth: You need a full 28-day cycle for big claritySign: Time. Space. Cycles.Feels like: A layered unfolding — clarity through time, not speedRed flags: Making decisions based on who you're with, not what you feelExamples:“I felt clear in the moment but a week later, everything changed.”Why reflectors need more sleep, space, and moon ritualsHOW TO START TRUSTING YOUR OWN AUTHORITYTalk less about “understanding” and more about feeling itBody cues — what your yes feels like vs. a pressure yesJournal prompts:“When did I override my authority?”“When did I listen — and what happened?”Tips for deconditioning:Sacral → Stop saying yes when your body hesitatesEmotional → Sleep on it before you RSVPSplenic → Track your intuitive hits retroactivelyEgo → Ask yourself, “Do I want this?”Self-projected → Call a trusted friend and talkMental → Notice your environment. Is it peaceful or noisy?Lunar → Start tracking decisions with a calendar“If you heard yourself in this episode — if you felt it in your bones — share this with someone who’s struggling to make a decision.”Invite people to DM or email with their Authority type + a storyPlug your Human Design coaching or group offeringsLet them know: this isn’t just a system — it’s a return to your own inner authority

Welcome back. This one’s for every woman who’s trained hard, followed the rules, and still feels like the results don’t match the effort. You’re not alone—and you don’t need to do more. You need a better map. A map that’s actually made for your body.This episode is a full hour. We’re going deep into what physical training for women should actually look like—especially for those of us 35 and older, navigating stress, perimenopause, shifts in energy, and everything else that doesn’t fit into a generic fitness class or a trendy wellness plan.Let me take you to a morning coaching session at Findlay Movement. I still lead a couple of group classes a week, and I always open with a circle question. That day, I asked: “How do you know what weight to use for your squats?”The answers were interesting. A lot of women said they go by feel—based on how their body and energy are that day.Now here’s the part I couldn’t ignore: This—this—is the moment they choose to listen to their bodies? When squatting? Not when they’re hungry at 10am and ignoring it. Not when they need a break but push through a double shift. Not when they haven’t had a full night’s sleep in four days. No—it’s here, in the gym, where suddenly we put the brakes on.Let’s be clear: Listening to your body is essential. But so is knowing when you’re confusing intuition with conditioning.So in this episode, we’re going to break down the actual training protocol women need, where we’ve been misled, and how we build strength, energy, and health that actually supports our lives.Let’s start with a reality check on the fitness industry. From Burn Boot Camp to Orange Theory to Shred-This and Sweat-That, women have been sold high-intensity, calorie-burning, “lean out” programming designed for fast visual results—not longevity.And then there’s Pilates. I’ll say it: Pilates has a place—but it’s dessert. Not the meal. It’s not load-bearing. It’s not metabolically demanding. It doesn’t build the strength or resilience you actually need. And yes—it’s being rebranded as the chic, aesthetic practice of the Ozempic era. But don’t confuse elegance with effectiveness.Let’s break this all down into a simple framework.Picture your training like a pyramid.Base Layer: Heavy Strength TrainingThis is the non-negotiable.Four days a week, lifting real weight. Back squats, deadlifts, presses, rows. Movements that build bone, muscle, and metabolic resilience.Markers to aim for:• Back squat your bodyweight• Deadlift 1.5x your bodyweight• Push-ups and pull-ups without assistance• Pressing weight overhead that feels challengingIf you’re avoiding lifting because you’re tired, ask yourself: Is it exhaustion—or is it the fear of doing something that hasn’t been modeled for you?Next Layer: Moderate CardioThis is your jogs, your zone 2 rides, your breath-based movement.Great for heart health.But not a replacement for heavy strength or true interval work.Top Layer: Walking and Nervous System RegulationThis might be the most underrated tool in your arsenal.Short walks, four to five times a day.After meals. Between Zoom calls. To reset your body and brain.Why? Because prolonged sitting, hyperfixating on screens, and intense face-to-face conversations all agitate your nervous system. And walking calms it down. It’s boring. It’s simple. But it works. And it stacks over time.When to Train: MorningWomen generally do best training in the morning. Cortisol is naturally higher. It’s the perfect time to get in, train smart, and use your biology to your advantage.Evening training isn’t wrong—but morning gives you a metabolic advantage.The Hormonal Lens: What Phase Are You In?If you’re cycling:• Follicular phase = go hard, recover well• Luteal phase = shift into lighter loads, more regulationIf you’re perimenopausal:• You’re already under more internal stress. Training hard every day will only work against you.If you’re postmenopausal:• You need to lift heavy for the rest of your life. Period.Let’s Talk FuelingStarving yourself doesn’t lead to fat loss. It leads to muscle loss. You need consistent protein. You need enough food—not a cut, not a bulk—just what your body actually requires.Forget the bulk/cut mentality. Women don’t need cycles of extremes. They need consistent fuel that matches consistent effort.And for those over-indexing on protein? Good. You don’t need to overeat calories, but you do need to prioritize muscle-building foods.And Ozempic?Quick note. It’s causing massive muscle loss. Not just fat. It’s putting women into deeper metabolic debt long-term. That’s all I’ll say for now.Final ThoughtsYour workouts don’t need to be exhausting. They need to be effective.Your body isn’t here to be shrunk. It’s here to carry your life.Train like you respect that.Thanks for listening. I’ll catch you next time.

I’m recording this from my bedroom, the window is open, and you might hear some city noise—someone yelling at their dog, a rogue leaf blower, maybe a truck that desperately needs a new muffler. Welcome to Healthy Clickbait—we keep it real over here.I could close the window. I could try to make this sound “cleaner.” But that would be missing the point of this entire episode.Because most of us have spent our whole lives trying to clean things up, make it sound right, look right, be right—instead of honoring how things actually are.And that’s exactly what Human Design is about.You pull your chart, and it says you’re a Generator, or a Projector, or maybe something called a Reflector—which sounds like it should come with a cape—and you wonder…“Cool. Is this a personality type or a prescription?”Fair question.But here’s the truth:Your Type is not your personality. It’s not your job. It’s not your vibe.It’s the mechanics of how your energy wants to move through the world.And if you’ve spent most of your life trying to push, initiate, hustle, or “make it happen”—and you’re tired, bitter, or constantly wondering what you’re doing wrong?This might be why.Because here’s the big thing we don’t talk about:Almost all of us—especially women—have been conditioned to act like Manifestors.Start the thing.Drive the thing.Be the firestarter.Even though only 9% of us are actually designed to live that way.The rest of us? We’re built to respond. To wait. To guide. To reflect.And instead, we’ve been taught that if we don’t initiate, we’re lazy.If we don’t push, we’re falling behind.If we pause, we’re doing it wrong.That’s why this episode matters.Because once you understand how your Type actually works—what your energy is built to do and what it's not?You stop trying to “fix” yourself.You stop running on someone else’s fuel.And you start operating from the one thing that never lies—your design.So today, we’re walking through the 5 Human Design Types—what they are, what they’re not, what they’re gifted at, and how to know when you’ve been hijacked by conditioning.For those of you who’ve ever tried to find clarity in a planner, a diet, or a 6-week productivity funnel.Let’s get your energy back.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever thought, “I’m just tired,” “maybe I’m not wired for pleasure,” or “this pain must be normal.”It’s not. And deep down, you probably know that.In this week’s episode of Healthy Clickbait, I’m joined by Dr. Taylor Swintt—pelvic floor physical therapist, strength coach, and currently pregnant (which adds a whole new layer to this conversation). We talk about what no one tells you about your body—especially if you’ve been trained to clench, perform, or disappear altogether.You’ll learn:– What the pelvic floor actually does (and why Kegels aren’t it)– Why most women don’t have low libido—they have bodies that don’t feel safe– What painful sex is trying to tell you– How chronic bracing is linked to back pain, burnout, and disconnection– Why nervous system regulation matters more than any “fix”– And how to start reconnecting to your body in a way that actually feels goodThis episode isn’t preachy or heavy. It’s honest, practical, and needed.Whether you’re pregnant, perimenopausal, postpartum, never had kids, or just want to feel more at home in your body—this is for you.📲 Follow Dr. Taylor Swint on IG: @taswint📩 Forward this to a friend who needs to hear itYou weren’t meant to live disconnected.You just weren’t taught how to listen.

Let me ask you something.When’s the last time you looked in the mirror... and didn’t check for something wrong?Not to see how your outfit looks, or if there's something in your teeth—but really looked.Eyes locking with your own.And didn’t flinch.Didn’t scan.Didn’t brace yourself for the internal commentary.Most of us don’t realize... we’ve been trained—conditioned—to treat our reflection like a performance review.And every time you pass a mirror, whether you stop or not... a script begins.Mirror, mirror on the wall…You know the rest, don’t you?It’s not just a line from a children’s book. It’s a mantra you didn’t mean to memorize.One that has burrowed so deep into your body, your nervous system responds before your conscious brain does.That question—who is the fairest of them all?—has hijacked us.And not just in how we see ourselves.It’s in how we speak to ourselves.In how we treat others.In what we buy, how we move, and what we’ll do to be accepted.But here’s the part we don’t say out loud enough:It’s meant to hijack us.It’s meant to keep us busy.Insecure.Triggered.Too tired to rise.Too unsure to rest.Too distracted to notice our own power being drained by the hour.This is how the system works.You don’t question your worth when you’re chasing your waistline.You don’t challenge the room when you’re adjusting your shirt.You don’t invest in your ideas when you’ve been trained to invest in your appearance.And the cost?It’s not just money.It’s not just self-esteem.It’s our time.Our voice.Our energy.Our capacity to trust ourselves.It’s the job you didn’t apply for.The photo you didn’t post.The pleasure you didn’t pursue.The conversation you didn’t start.The space you didn’t take up.The dream you shrunk because you didn’t feel ready—or "right."Not because you weren’t capable.But because the mirror made you believe you weren’t enough.And maybe the most dangerous part?It feels like our idea.Today, we’re going there.Because this isn’t about confidence.This is about survival.It’s about the social nervous system—the part of you that will do anything to stay in the tribe, to avoid rejection, to belong.And if you’ve ever looked in the mirror and felt shame… or desperation… or silence… this episode is for you.Let’s talk about how our bodies were weaponized.Let’s talk about beauty standards, botox, and belonging.Let’s talk about how to see your reflection—and finally recognize yourself.Here’s the thing most people don’t understand.Your body isn’t just how you look.It’s your home.It’s your instrument.And it’s your threat detection system.See, your nervous system is designed to keep you safe. To scan for danger. Not just physical danger—but social danger. Rejection. Exile. Judgment.So when you grow up in a world where beauty is currency, where worth is measured in smoothness and symmetry… you learn—subconsciously—that to be lovable is to be beautiful. And to be beautiful is to be compliant with a standard that you didn’t set.You weren’t born hating your body. You were taught to.You were taught that cellulite is shameful. That soft bellies mean failure. That aging is something to fight.And I’m not here to preach at you from some enlightened pedestal—I’ve bought the creams. I’ve zoomed in on my thighs. I’ve literally rearranged my life around how I felt in a dressing room.You’re not shallow or broken for caring about how you look.You’re just wired like a human being. And that wiring has been hacked.Here’s how it works, neurologically.There’s a part of your nervous system called the social nervous system. It’s part of your autonomic system, and it’s responsible for scanning your environment for social cues.Is it safe to be here?Do they like me?Am I accepted?It’s why you feel shame before you even realize someone’s judging you. It’s why you compare yourself before you’ve finished scrolling. It’s not vanity. It’s biology.And when your social nervous system is constantly triggered by beauty standards that are unattainable, what happens?You stop listening to your body.You start fighting it.You believe if you can just fix the thing—tighten this, smooth that, inject this—you’ll finally feel at peace.But peace doesn’t come from control. Peace comes from safety.And safety doesn’t come from Botox.Or Spanx.Or the perfect lighting.It comes from being able to stay in your body, even when you don’t like what you see.Let’s make it real.You go to the beach, and before your feet even hit the sand, your brain is scanning:What are other women wearing?Do I look OK in this suit?Should I have skipped lunch?That’s not your intuition—that’s your programming.Or you see a photo of yourself at a party and instead of remembering the fun, your brain zooms in on your arms.Or your smile lines.Or the curve of your stomach.That’s not a personality flaw. That’s a nervous system in fight-or-flight mode, trying to protect you from judgment.And here’s the wildest part—no one else is even thinking about you that way. They’re too busy scanning their own reflection, wondering if they are enough.I want to be honest about something.For years, every time I looked in the mirror, I had one immediate thought:Be more restrictive.Work out harder.Fix this.It was automatic. Like a reflex. A loop I didn’t even realize I was caught in.So I didn’t have a full-length mirror for over seven years.It was easier that way. Less triggering. Less proof that I wasn’t enough.And then in January 2024, I went to Costa Rica.I packed bikinis—because that’s what you do—and I spiraled.Not because of what anyone said.But because my body existed in front of other people.And I didn’t feel safe in it.It cracked me open.And instead of numbing out or pushing through, I stayed.I did bodywork every single day I was there.I breathed.I moved.I cried.I listened.And when I got back, I bought a mirror.A full-length one.Not to check.To connect.Because the programming runs deep.And loving your body isn’t a moment—it’s a practice.So here’s what I do now.I don’t analyze it. I don’t scroll for affirmation. I don’t try to “fix” the feeling.I go to the mirror.Not to inspect.Not to critique.But to reconnect.Let me walk you through my own protocol.Step one—get a mirror. Big, small, doesn’t matter. Just make sure you can see you.Then—put on music. Something that moves you. Not curated calm. Not vibes. Just something you like.Stand in front of the mirror. Let your body be seen. Let your eyes meet your own.And just… breathe.Inhale.Exhale.Feel where the breath goes.Feel where it gets stuck.And then—start to move.Not to burn. Not to sculpt.To exist.Sway.Shake.Stretch.Let your arms get weird. Let your hips find their rhythm. Let your face emote.You are not here to be beautiful.You are here to be real.To show your nervous system:This is what safety feels like. This is my body. This is my truth.Some days, I can do this for 20 minutes and feel alive.Other days, I last five seconds before I shut down.That’s okay.This isn’t a performance. It’s a reclamation.You are retraining your nervous system—gently, consistently—to stop going into threat mode every time you're witnessed.Because when you feel safe in your body, you make different choices.You stop chasing trends that were never designed for you.You stop buying things that promise confidence but only deliver compliance.You stop outsourcing your worth to other people’s preferences.I’m not saying don’t wear makeup.I’m not saying don’t get botox or fillers.I’ve done it.I’ve had it.I get it.This isn’t about morality. It’s about awareness.Ask yourself:Am I doing this because it feels good to me?Or because I was trained to think it should?There’s a difference between choosing something and complying with something.And you deserve to know the difference.So next time you find yourself in front of the mirror, I want you to pause.Catch the script.Notice the programming.And ask yourself—not “Who is the fairest of them all?”But:Whose voice is this?Do I want to keep this software?Or is it time to upgrade?Because beauty doesn’t live in the mirror.It lives in how safe you feel being yourself.It lives in how deeply you’re willing to know yourself.It lives in the moment you stop asking for permission to be seen—and simply see yourself.Fully.Softly.Honestly.You’ve been listening to Healthy Clickbait.If this stirred something in you—good.Let it move. Let it settle. Let it start a conversation—with yourself, with your people.And if you’re ready to do the deeper work—subscribe. Share. Reach out.And if this conversation hit home in a way that makes you realize you’re done shrinking—My private women’s coaching container is open. It’s where we unravel the programming, learn how to live safely in our bodies, and step into a version of power that isn’t performative—it’s embodied.If you’re curious whether it’s the right space for you, book a consultation. There’s no pressure—just clarity.You don’t have to do this alone.https://calendly.com/sarahlheringer/coaching-consultationAnd the next time your reflection tries to write your story…Pick up a pen

Alright. So let’s start with the honest truth: Most of us are walking around with absolutely no idea how our energy actually works.We’re trying to follow someone else’s blueprint—whether it’s a productivity coach, a manifestation influencer, or that person you follow who drinks green juice and does breathwork at 5 AM like their life depends on it.And sometimes it works. But most of the time? You’re just sitting there wondering why your life still feels stuck. Or slow. Or like you’re doing adult life with someone else’s user manual.So today, I want to offer you something else. Something that actually changed how I see myself, how I work, and how I make decisions—in my business, in my relationships, and in my body.This is Human Design. And if you’re new to it—good. I’m going to give you the no-bullsh*t version. Straight from a Generator who’s burned out trying to do it every other way.Get your personalized chart hereSO WHAT IS HUMAN DESIGN?Human Design is your energetic operating system. It’s not a personality test. It’s not a spiritual identity. It’s literally the blueprint of how your body, energy, and frequency move through the world.It pulls from:AstrologyThe I ChingThe chakra systemKabbalahQuantum physics...and combines all that into a chart that looks like your printer glitched on a diagram of The Matrix.You need your birth date, time, and location. That’s it. From there, it shows you:How you make decisionsHow your energy worksWhat you’re here to expressWhat trips you upWhat’s conditioning vs. truthAnd when you start living in alignment with your chart? Life doesn’t get easier, but it gets way clearer. And that’s honestly better.WHO I AM IN HUMAN DESIGNI’m a Generator with Sacral Authority. That means I don’t make decisions from my head. I make them from my gut—which is a wildly inconvenient truth if you, like me, spent years trying to spreadsheet your way to clarity. My body speaks in full-body yeses and absolutely-not no’s. If I override it? Welcome to burnout, bitterness, and silently Googling “how to run away into the woods without ruining your credit score.”I have a Split Definition, which means I often feel like two separate people who both want snacks but can’t agree on what. It also means that the right people connect those parts of me. I don’t need to fix myself—I just need good connection and honest resonance.My Profile is 3/5, and let me tell you, I’ve never met a staircase I didn’t tumble down for the lesson. I don’t just make mistakes—I build condos in them. But I come back with the blueprint, and I teach the climb like a damn mountain goat in good boots. That’s the 5 line—I bring transformation, not because I planned to, but because I lived through it.I’ve got 10-57, 1-8, and 53-42 channels. Translation? I’m a self-trusting intuitive who doesn’t need your permission to create something bold, original, or slightly weird. I know what’s correct, even when I can’t tell you why. And I know how to build things that last. The 53-42 gives me the gift of starting what I can finish, of pacing transformation in a way that doesn’t burn out—mine or yours. I’m not here for quick wins. I’m here for sustainable expansion. Translation? I’m a self-trusting intuitive who doesn’t need your permission to create something bold, original, or slightly weird. I know what’s correct, even when I can’t tell you why. And when I follow it? Things just work.Human Design didn’t tell me who to become. It handed me a mirror and said, “You’ve been powerful this whole time—you just forgot to trust it.”WHY THIS MATTERS FOR YOUHere’s what I see all the time: People trying to manifest like someone else, heal like someone else, or build a business like someone else—only to feel like they’re failing.But you’re not failing. You’re just trying to live inside someone else’s design.There are Manifestors out here being told to wait for permission. Projectors burning out trying to keep up with hustle culture. Generators forcing themselves through tasks that make their soul feel like a soggy sock.You’re not broken. You’re just... not aligned.Human Design gives you the user manual you didn’t know you needed. It’s not about doing less work. It’s about doing the right work. For you.EXAMPLES FROM THE WILDLet’s say you’re a Projector, and you’ve been trying to hustle like a Generator. You’re gonna end up horizontal with adrenal fatigue and a vague resentment toward all of Instagram.Or maybe you’re a Manifesting Generator who keeps getting shamed for changing your mind every five minutes. That’s not flaky. That’s how you’re built. You’re not indecisive, you’re just a shape-shifter.It’s not your mindset.It’s your mechanics.SO WHAT’S NEXT?This is just part one. In part two, we’re going deeper into the five Types, the Authorities (how your body makes decisions), and the Profiles (what you’re here to model in the world).But for now, let me be the voice in your ear saying: Stop trying to optimize a system that isn’t yours. Stop doing morning routines that make you hate mornings. And stop chasing the version of you that looks good on Pinterest.Let’s start living like you.CALL TO ACTIONWanna know your chart? Wanna know if you’re actually designed to work the way you’ve been working?Go to the link in the show notes. There’s a free chart tool there, plus an option to get a full custom report.AND—because I’m a Generator, I need things to respond to. So ask me questions. DM me. Email me. Tell me what confuses you or what made you gasp or roll your eyes.This podcast becomes better when you talk to me.Also: this isn’t just for self-help junkies. Human Design is unreal for parenting and relationships.If you know your kid’s chart, you can literally avoid accidentally programming them with your own unresolved stuff. If you know your partner’s chart, you can stop trying to make them communicate like you and realize they actually can’t.We’re reparenting ourselves here. And this tool is a damn good flashlight.So go pull your chart. Follow along with the series. And maybe—just maybe—you’ll stop feeling like the problem and start recognizing you’ve been the solution all along.

It starts in the jaw.A slow clench, a tightening just below the ears. It moves down the throat, past the collarbone, and settles behind the ribs. It doesn’t announce itself. It doesn’t need to. It’s been here long enough to feel like part of the structure, something built into the body’s scaffolding.At first, it only flares when something directly sets it off—the news, a conversation, an email that makes your hands curl a little too hard around your phone. But then it starts to linger. A low hum under the surface, present even in the quiet moments. A steady, electric current of tension that never fully dissipates.Women are angry.And I don’t need to read a headline to know it. I see it in my practice, in my conversations, in the way the body braces before the mind even catches up.But what happens when anger has nowhere to go?There’s a reflex to say that something has gone wrong, that things are breaking down, that the system must be failing if this many people feel like this.But that’s not quite right.The system isn’t broken. The system is working exactly as designed.If the food industry can manufacture dependence on hyper-processed, nutrient-deficient food and call it convenience…If the pharmaceutical industry can keep people just well enough to stay dependent and call it healthcare…If the news cycle can turn collective dysregulation into a revenue stream and call it reporting…Why wouldn’t this extend beyond food and medicine?Why wouldn’t there be a system in place to keep people exhausted, on edge, just activated enough to argue, but too depleted to change anything?A woman in a constant state of activation is a woman who is predictable.Predictably distracted.Predictably reactive.Predictably locked in a cycle where she is too tired to fight but too angry to stop watching.And yet—she will be told that she is the problem.Too emotional.Too angry.Too dramatic.But women aren’t failing inside the system. They are being used by it.A woman burned out by the system is called hysterical.A system that burns out women is called functional.That tightening in the jaw, that bracing in the ribs, that edge in her voice when she says, It’s fine—none of it is random.Stress isn’t in the mind. It’s in the body.And when the body is under stress, it doesn’t ask for permission before responding. It doesn’t wait for you to process a situation logically before activating your nervous system.Heart rate spikes.Muscles contract.Breathing shallows.Cortisol floods the system.This isn’t worrying too much. This isn’t overreacting. This is the body doing exactly what it was designed to do—prepare for survival.And if that stress is never discharged, if the body never gets the signal that the threat has passed?It doesn’t go away. It lives in you.This is why women aren’t just feeling more stressed. They are physically unwell—because stress that isn’t processed turns into hormonal imbalances, inflammation, metabolic dysfunction, and disease.Chronic stress keeps cortisol high, disrupting estrogen and progesterone levels—worsening perimenopause, PCOS, and thyroid issues.It alters blood sugar regulation, making weight gain, insulin resistance, and energy crashes worse.It increases inflammation, raising the risk of autoimmune conditions, heart disease, and gut disorders.It weakens the digestive system, slowing motility and making women more prone to bloating, IBS, and food sensitivities.It keeps muscles locked in a state of tension, leading to chronic pain, headaches, and TMJ.Most women don’t need another diet, another supplement, another strategy to control their body. They need to get out of chronic stress states—because until their nervous system feels safe, nothing else will stick.And this is the part that women haven’t been taught.You can’t out think stress.You have to move it out of your body.For a long time, women were told they weren’t allowed to be angry.Anger was unladylike. It was disruptive. It made people uncomfortable. A woman’s anger had to be swallowed, softened, managed.But now, they are angry. Loudly. Publicly. Without apology.For many, this feels like power. Like taking something back. Like finally refusing to sit down and be quiet.But anger is not a primary emotion. It’s a reaction to something deeper. A survival instinct kicking in to say, Something is wrong—do something.The problem is, most women haven’t been shown what to do with it.Women have been conditioned to believe that the only thing they can do with anger is express it.Say it louder.Make people see.Keep explaining.Keep proving that they have a right to be furious.And they are. Over and over.But what happens after that?Because expression without action is just a loop.A nervous system stuck on high alert.A body that never fully resets.A mind that stays locked on the next thing, the next headline, the next reason to stay activated.And the more the body learns this cycle, the harder it is to break.So the question isn’t whether women are allowed to be angry. They are.The question is: What happens if they don’t do something with it?Because anger is not passive.If it has nowhere to go, it won’t disappear. It will live in the body as unfinished activation. It will shape how you see the world, how you react, how you carry yourself. It will keep your nervous system stuck in a loop—either hypervigilant or shutting down entirely.And if you don’t process it, it will become your baseline.Your body will memorize it.Your mind will scan for it.Your nervous system will anticipate more of it.This is where most women stop.They know they’re angry.They feel it every day.But knowing isn’t enough.Because anger will keep pulling them back. Stress will keep running the show. Their body will keep paying the price.Unless they learn how to break the cycle.Unless they learn how to get it out of their body.That’s the part no one is teaching.But that’s what I’m here to show you.Most people will stop here. They’ll nod, recognize themselves in this, and then go back to their day. But recognition isn’t the same as resolution. And if you’ve gotten this far, I don’t think you’re here just to nod along.You already know: Stress isn’t in your mind—it’s in your body.You already know: You can’t think your way out of it—you have to move it.So now the real question is: What do you do with all of this?If you don’t break the cycle, your nervous system will make the choice for you.It will default to what it knows:→ Hypervigilance or shutdown.→ Feeling wired and exhausted at the same time.→ Holding onto stress, even when the moment has passed.But stress doesn’t have to own you.Anger doesn’t have to keep you reactive.Exhaustion doesn’t have to be the cost of caring.And that’s where the next step comes in.

Episode Summary:Hey there, it’s Sarah, and today on Healthy Clickbait, I’m tackling one of the most common questions I get: “Is there any validity to the keto diet?” Spoiler alert: the short answer is yes, but you know me—I’m not stopping there. In this episode, I’m unpacking what keto really is, why it works for some people, and why so many headlines and government guidelines are still trashing it.We’ll dig into the science behind ketosis, look at how the food industry and media have shaped public perceptions, and explore who can benefit from keto (and who shouldn’t). Plus, I’ll share why I think it’s absurd that National Geographicis weighing in on diets. If you’ve ever felt confused by the endless noise around health and nutrition, this episode is for you.What I Talk About in This Episode:What Keto Is and Why It WorksI’ll break down the ketogenic diet: a low-carb, high-fat way of eating that shifts your body into ketosis. I’ll explain how ketones fuel your body more efficiently than glucose, reduce inflammation, and stabilize your blood sugar.Why Keto Works So Well for Some PeopleLearn how keto helps manage insulin resistance, balances hormones, and burns fat more effectively. Plus, I’ll talk about its therapeutic benefits for conditions like Type 2 diabetes, autoimmune diseases, and even epilepsy.Why the System is Rigged Against KetoLet’s get real: government dietary guidelines and media narratives don’t always serve your best interests. I’ll share how food companies influenced the carb-heavy recommendations we’ve been fed for decades and why US News & World Report ranks keto low—not because it doesn’t work, but because it’s “hard to follow.”Wait, Why is National Geographic Talking About Keto?Yep, you heard me right. National Geographic is weighing in on the keto diet, raising concerns about its potential impact on heart health and questioning its long-term safety. And here’s my question: why is a publication known for wildlife and geography suddenly diving into diet and nutrition? This isn’t their lane, and it shows. While they highlight some concerns, the article lacks the context and nuance you’d expect from experts in the field. Properly implemented, a keto diet prioritizes healthy fats and has been shown to improve metabolic and cardiovascular health in the right populations. Instead, this type of reporting often creates confusion, blending valid questions with incomplete narratives and leaving people more unsure about their choices than ever.Misinformation vs. DisinformationI’ll break down the difference between honest mistakes (misinformation) and intentional deception (disinformation). Spoiler: the food industry has been guilty of plenty of both.Who Should Try Keto?Keto isn’t for everyone, and I’ll explain how I help clients decide if it’s the right fit for them. If you’re struggling with belly fat, inflammation, or metabolic health issues, it might be worth exploring. But I’ll also talk about why it’s not a blanket solution—especially for women.Takeaways You Can Use:Fat loss isn’t just about calories; it’s about fixing your metabolism.The food industry and media don’t have your health in mind, so it’s up to you to think critically about what you’re being told.Keto isn’t the villain—it’s a therapeutic tool that works wonders for the right people.

Episode Description: In this episode of Healthy Clickbait Hotline, I dive into the topic of people-pleasing and why it’s more than just being “nice.” Joined by a question from listener Carrie, we explore what people-pleasing really is—a pattern of denying your own needs to keep others happy. We discuss how it’s rooted in our nervous system and often tied to fawning, which is the instinct to appease others to avoid conflict or disapproval.I break down Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, to explain how our bodies respond to perceived threats and what it means for people-pleasers. This episode introduces practical somatic self-regulation exercises to help you find safety in saying 'no' and reconnect with your sense of agency.I also share a client’s story, showing how soothing techniques can be misused and emphasize that these exercises aren’t just about calming down—they’re about building resilience in the face of pressure.Key Takeaways:People-pleasing is not about kindness, but about denying yourself to keep others comfortable.Fawning as a nervous system response and its connection to emotional safety.The importance of understanding Polyvagal Theory and the vagus nerve in regulating our sense of safety.Practical exercises like grounding, orienting, and vagal toning to shift out of people-pleasing patterns.Rebuilding trust with yourself and creating small wins to practice healthy boundaries.

In this episode of The Healthy Clickbait Podcast, I tackle a listener-submitted question about cannabis use and the shame many of us feel around it. We explore the science behind cannabis, focusing on its effects on the brain's dopamine system, and how societal perceptions compare cannabis to alcohol. I share personal insights on how shame can be deeply tied to societal stigma, using Brené Brown's definition of shame versus guilt.We also dig into practical steps for overcoming shame, including the power of vulnerability and self-compassion.ey Takeaways:Cannabis and Shame: How cannabis use is often stigmatized, despite its growing acceptance.Shame vs. Guilt: Shame is feeling bad for who we are, while guilt is about feeling bad for what we did.Overcoming Shame: Strategies like vulnerability, openness, and self-compassion can help dismantle shame.Resources:Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke: LinkBrené Brown on shame and vulnerability: LinkTune in next week as we explore the issue of people-pleasing and how to break free from its cycle!

You know the drill. When people around you are struggling—family, friends, co-workers—they come to you. And you? You step right in to help. But have you ever stopped to ask why? Why is it always your responsibility to jump in and fix things? Are you carrying the weight of everyone else’s problems?If you’re nodding along, then you might be a fixer. And trust me, I get it—because I’ve been there.How Does This Happen?Being a fixer isn’t something we actively choose. It often stems from early life experiences, especially if you were the one who had to grow up fast or were always praised for helping. In many cases, we develop this belief that we need to solve everyone’s problems because that’s how we got love, attention, or validation.For some, it’s more than just a personal pattern—it’s a societal expectation, especially for women. We’re often taught that it’s our job to nurture, to care, and to be available for everyone, all the time. But at what cost?Let me share a personal story. There was someone in my life—someone close to me—who I felt compelled to help. They had never really taken care of their health. They didn’t exercise, didn’t eat well, and seemed uninterested in changing their lifestyle. And as someone deeply invested in wellness, I thought I could help. I’d share advice, offer tools, suggest plans—everything I knew to make a difference.But here’s the thing—they never asked for my help. They listened, maybe out of politeness, but they didn’t follow through. And each time I found out they weren’t taking my advice, it made me angry and frustrated. I thought, “I know exactly how to fix this, why won’t you just let me help?” But eventually, I had to realize—it wasn’t my job to fix them. They weren’t ready to change, and pushing my solutions only drained me and strained the relationship.The Fixer TrapFixing others can feel like control. It gives us a false sense of safety. We think, "If I can just help them solve this, everything will be okay." But here’s the kicker—fixing doesn’t work. People have to change on their own, and if they’re not ready or don’t want to, no amount of effort from you will make it happen.I spent years thinking it was my job to "fix" my clients, my family, and my relationships. I’d offer advice, go out of my way to help, and when people didn’t take it or didn’t change, I felt frustrated, rejected, or even angry. And the truth is, the fixing was never really about them—it was about me.Signs You Might Be a FixerYou offer advice without being asked.You feel responsible for solving other people’s problems.When people don’t follow your advice, you feel resentful.You get caught up in others’ drama as a way to avoid your own issues.Sound familiar? It’s easy to slip into this role, especially if it’s how you’ve always found validation. But here’s the truth—fixing others doesn’t make you more worthy or valuable.How to Break FreeRecognize the Pattern: Start by noticing when the urge to fix shows up. Pause and ask yourself, "Am I offering help because they asked, or because I feel the need to?"Set Boundaries: Learn to say, "I trust you can handle this," or, "I’m here for support, but I can’t solve this for you."Focus on Yourself: Fixing others is often a way to avoid our own discomfort. Turn inward. What’s going on in your life that needs attention? Are you neglecting your own needs while prioritizing others?Let Go of Control: It’s not your job to control the outcome. People will make their own choices, and that’s okay.Support Without Solving: You can still be there for people without stepping into the fixer role. Ask questions that empower them to find their own solutions: "What do you think you should do next?" or "How can I best support you?"The Real ChallengeBeing a fixer is about control and validation. The real work is in letting go of both. You are not responsible for fixing other people’s lives, and your worth isn’t tied to whether or not they follow your advice. Your power lies in setting boundaries, taking care of yourself, and supporting others without taking on their burdens.It’s freeing, honestly. And it’s the only way to build truly healthy relationships—whether that’s with family, friends, clients, or even yourself.Take the Next StepWant more stories and insights? Listen to the full episode. There’s a lot more to unpack, and I dive into personal experiences and deeper strategies to help you move beyond the fixer mindset.