You Keep Me Sane

Episode OverviewWhy does joy feel harder to access in midlife - even when nothing is technically “wrong”? In this episode, we unpack that quiet heaviness so many of us carry and explore why joy can feel distant during this stage of life.What We Talk AboutWhy joy doesn’t disappear-it just gets buried under responsibility and mental loadHow modern life (and being “always on”) keeps us stuck in stress modeThe guilt that can come with letting ourselves feel goodFinding joy again in small, everyday momentsListener TakeawaysYou’re not broken if you don’t feel joyful - you’re likely just carrying a lotJoy isn’t something you wait for; it’s something you allow in small waysIt might look different now - quieter, simpler, but still meaningfulEven a few minutes of something that feels like you can shift everythingJoin the ConversationHave you felt this quiet loss of joy? Or found something small that brings it back? We’d love to hear from you - send us a message or voice note and be part of the conversation.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewThis week, we’re returning to something we haven’t done in a while - reading a listener letter. And this one stopped us in our tracks.Elsa writes about something so many of us quietly carry: doing well on paper, yet feeling like we’re one step away from being found out. The overthinking, the over-preparing, the constant questioning - it’s exhausting.In this conversation, we unpack imposter syndrome through a self-worth lens. Why it often shows up in capable, high-achieving women. Why confidence doesn’t always follow experience. And why this might be less about competence - and more about self-trust.Key Discussion PointsWhy imposter syndrome often shows up in high achieversThe gap between how life looks externally and how it feels internallyOverthinking, over-preparing, and the mental exhaustion that followsComparing ourselves to others who seem more confidentThe difference between a competence gap and a self-trust gapWhy confidence isn’t a prerequisite for showing upListener TakeawaysYou’re not the only one - imposter syndrome is far more common than we thinkFeeling like you’ll be “found out” doesn’t mean it’s trueConfidence doesn’t automatically come with experience or successAwareness is the first step—notice the pattern, don’t immediately believe itYou don’t need to feel fully ready or certain to take your placeSelf-worth isn’t built on getting everything right—it’s built on trusting yourself  If this episode resonated, you can start rebuilding your self-worth with our guide  ENOUGHLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewIn this episode, we explore something that’s been sitting underneath so many of our conversations lately… cortisol.What started as disrupted sleep and feeling constantly “on” quickly became something deeper. Because when you really look at cortisol, it’s not just about stress - it’s about how we live, what we carry, and what we believe about our own worth.This conversation moves beyond quick fixes and into a more honest question: Why is it so hard to slow down… even when we know we need to?💬 Key Discussion Points Why waking at 1–3am might be more than just “bad sleep”  Why stress hits differently in midlife  The link between cortisol and self-worth 🌿 Listener Takeaways If you’re feeling exhausted, wired, inflamed or foggy… there’s nothing wrong with you  Cortisol isn’t just about stress  it’s about what you haven’t allowed yourself to stop  Slowing down can feel uncomfortable when your worth is tied to doing If this sounds familiar - waking at 3am, feeling wired but tired, or noticing that constant “on” feeling in your body -  you don't need more pressure. We've been using a 15-minute cortisol reset guide that's a really good place to start.Get it here:👉 GUIDE🤍 Join the ConversationThis one felt personal for us… and we have a feeling it might for you too.Have you noticed these shifts in your own body?Do you find it hard to slow down, even when you know you need to?We’d really love to hear your experience.Send us a DM or email us at [email protected] if this episode resonated, share it with someone who might need to hear it.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewThis week, we explore the need to be chosen — at work, in friendships, in love, and in family roles. For years, being picked can feel like proof of worth… and not being picked can quietly unravel us. We unpack how midlife starts to loosen that wiring, and how the shift from “please choose me” to “I choose me” changes everything.Key Discussion PointsAileen notices she no longer needs praise or an invitation to feel valuableJulie reflects on how fear of rejection shaped her choices for yearsHow “shape-shifting” shows up in friendships, family roles and people-pleasingThe romantic reframe: not “Do they want me?” but “Do I choose them?”How to spot when you’re still living in “please choose me” modeListener TakeawaysBeing chosen isn’t proof of worth - and not being chosen isn’t proof you’re lackingFear of judgement can be just as exhausting as chasing validationMidlife often brings clarity: you stop auditioning and start choosingYou can care deeply without over-explaining, over-giving, or over-performingSelf-worth grows when you trust your own choice, not someone else’s approvalLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewThis week, we explore a quiet but powerful shift happening in midlife: the move from chasing traditional success to craving something far less flashy - peace.For years, achievement meant striving. Building. Proving. Being impressive. We grew up in a culture that celebrated ambition, hustle and visible markers of success. And in many ways, we embodied that - high achievers, big thinkers, always “on.”But midlife changes the lens.With shifting hormones, teenage children, ageing parents, business pressures and the constant hum of modern life, the nervous system starts to demand honesty. What once felt energising now feels depleting. What once looked impressive now looks exhausting.In this conversation, we unpack what happens when the real wealth we crave is calm. A regulated nervous system. Honest relationships. A home that feels steady. A life that feels sustainable.Because maybe the bravest thing we can do in midlife isn’t scale up - it’s refine.Key Discussion PointsSwapping coffee for cacao - and the unexpected lesson about cortisol, stimulation and going to extremes.Why midlife women report some of the highest global stress levels - and what that says about modern success.The shift from chasing “impressive” to choosing “peaceful.”The guilt women feel when pulling back - and why peace is actually responsible, not selfish.What “quiet wealth” looks like in real life: subtraction, depth, calm mornings and fewer but deeper relationships.Insights from the long-running Harvard University adult development study, showing that close relationships - not fame or fortune - predict long-term happiness and health.Listener TakeawaysNotice where you’re still chasing impressive instead of peaceful.Ask yourself what your current version of “success” is costing your nervous system.Consider subtracting one commitment this month.Reduce exposure to comparison triggers — both online and in conversation.Invest more deeply in one relationship that feels regulating rather than draining.Define success privately, not publicly.Quiet wealth doesn’t shout.It doesn’t need applause.But it feels rich.If this season of your life is asking for less noise and more depth, you’re not behind. You’re not unambitious.You might just be redefining what wealth truly means.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

This episode grew from a simple image we shared in a recent Sanity Check: two jars.One jar is full — kind words, encouragement, praise, moments where someone saw you and appreciated you.The other jar holds just one negative comment.And yet… it’s the second jar most of us carry.We explore why one raised eyebrow, one piece of criticism, one offhand remark can eclipse a hundred positive moments. Why it lingers. Why it replays. Why it feels like proof.We talk about negativity bias, self-worth, shrinking, second-guessing and the quiet exhaustion that comes from gripping that mostly empty jar.And most importantly — how we begin to put it down.Key Discussion PointsThe “two jars” metaphor and why so many women instantly recognised themselves in itWhy one negative comment can occupy our minds all day — even if it lasted only 30 secondsThe concept of negativity bias and how our brains process negative experiences more quickly than positive onesHow social conditioning (especially for women) amplifies the need to be liked, agreeable and “get it right”Why praise often doesn’t land — and why criticism feels familiarThe connection between negative comments and pre-existing beliefs like “I’m not enough” or “I get it wrong”How self-worth changes the proportion of impact — it’s not about becoming bulletproof, it’s about balanceThe exhaustion of carrying self-doubt: over-explaining, shrinking, working harder than necessaryWhy tiredness isn’t always about what you’re doing — sometimes it’s about what you’re carryingPractical shifts: noticing which jar you’re holding, questioning why something landed so hard, and consciously allowing praise to sitListener TakeawaysYou’re not dramatic for holding onto one comment — you’re humanNegative feedback often hurts because it echoes something you already believePraise doesn’t land if it doesn’t match your internal storyGrowth isn’t about never being affected — it’s about not letting one comment define youYou don’t have to deny a negative experience — you just don’t have to build your identity around itSelf-worth strengthens when we become conscious of what gets to stay with usThe jar feels heavy because it is heavy — and you are allowed to put it downJoin the ConversationAs you listen, ask yourself:Which jar am I carrying right now?And more importantly —Why am I still holding onto it?We’d love to hear your reflections.Come and tell us what resonated.DM us on social media or email us at [email protected]’re not broken.You’re learning what gets to stay.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewThere’s a moment many women reach - often in midlife - where we stop and quietly think, Who am I actually?It doesn’t arrive with drama. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s usually the result of years spent being reliable, capable, needed. Years of making decisions for the family, the partnership, the household unit. Years of choosing what works.And then one day, something pauses us.Maybe it’s exhaustion.Maybe it’s hormones shifting.Maybe it’s the kids growing up.Maybe it’s a relationship changing.Or maybe it’s just the slow realisation that we don’t quite recognise ourselves anymore.In this episode, we explore what it really means to “lose your voice” - not literally, but emotionally and identity-wise - and why that question in midlife isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong.It might actually be a sign that something more honest is trying to emerge.Key Discussion PointsWhat “losing your voice” actually means in adulthoodOperating as a family unit and how decisions slowly stop being about usThe invisible praise of being dependable, strong and capableHow self-worth becomes tied to being neededWhy midlife hormones, burnout and emotional shifts make the cracks visibleThe body saying “no” after years of holding it all togetherReclaiming your voice quietly, not dramaticallyListener TakeawaysLosing your voice rarely happens suddenly - it’s usually the result of years of being dependable, capable and needed.Living as part of a family unit can slowly shift decisions away from what you want towards what works for everyone.Midlife often acts as a pause point, where exhaustion, hormones or emotional shifts make it harder to keep pretending everything is fine.Feeling lost or disconnected isn’t a failure — it can be a signal that something more authentic is trying to surface.Self-worth can quietly become tied to what we provide rather than who we are.Reclaiming your voice doesn’t require dramatic reinvention — it can begin with small, honest noticing.You don’t need to have all the answers. Awareness is a powerful first step.Join the ConversationHave you ever had that moment where you realised you didn’t quite recognise yourself anymore?What brought it on - exhaustion, midlife, shifting roles, something else?We’d genuinely love to hear from you.Send us a DM or email us at [email protected]’re not alone in this.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode overviewIn this episode, we explore what it really means to live in an always-on world — and how that constant state of availability quietly keeps our stress response switched on.Cortisol has become a bit of a villain in wellness conversations, but we unpack why it’s not the problem in itself. Cortisol is essential. The issue is that modern life rarely gives our bodies the chance to switch it off.From 3am wake-ups and belly changes to mental load, boundaries, and self-worth, this is an honest conversation about why so many of us feel exhausted even when we don’t feel “stressed” - and what our bodies might be trying to tell us.Key discussion pointThe impact of living in an always-on culture: emails, messages, notifications, and mental loadWhy our bodies can’t tell the difference between a real threat and constant pressureThe link between being busy, always available, and self-worthMidlife, menopause, and why our bodies become less tolerant of sustained stressPhysical signs of chronically high cortisol: disrupted sleep, puffiness, belly fat, anxiety, digestive issues, and fatigueReframing cortisol as an alarm rather than the enemyListener takeawaysYou don’t have to feel anxious or overwhelmed for cortisol to be highBeing busy and constantly “on” is still stress - even if it feels normalYour body isn’t weak or broken; it’s responding to chronic pressureBoundaries aren’t selfish - they’re self-preservationYou can’t regulate your way out of a life where your worth feels constantly on the lineSmall changes matter: one pause, one boundary, one moment of choosing enoughJoin the conversationIf you recognised yourself in this episode - the constant doing, the exhaustion, the feeling of being “on” all the time - you’re not alone.We’d love to hear your thoughts.Send us a DM on socials or email us at [email protected] if you’d like more from us, head over to Patreon for bonus episodes and deeper conversations.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewIn this episode, we explore the idea of wintering - not as a trend or aesthetic, but as a very real biological and emotional experience.Recording from opposite sides of the world - one of us in a UK winter, the other in an Australian summer - we reflect on how seasons, light, energy, and life demands shape the way we feel, move, and cope. We talk about slowing down without guilt, listening to the body instead of forcing productivity, and what happens when winter stops being something to “survive” and becomes something we learn to work with.This conversation is about acceptance, recalibration, and honouring capacity - wherever you are and whatever season you’re in.Key Discussion PointsWhat wintering actually means beyond social media and wellness trendsHow energy naturally shifts with seasons, light, and life stagesThe contrast between winter in the UK and summer in Australia — and how both come with different challengesWhy pushing through tiredness often creates more resistance and burnoutSeasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) vs. milder winter mood shiftsThe pressure to stay productive year-round — and why it doesn’t workListener TakeawaysYour energy isn’t meant to be flat or consistent all year roundFeeling slower in winter isn’t laziness - it’s biologyWintering isn’t about stopping or opting out of lifeRest, slower mornings, and lowered expectations can restore energy for what actually mattersDifferent seasons place different demands on us - and that’s okayGrowth sometimes looks like acceptance, not effortJoin the ConversationWhat season are you in right now - physically, emotionally, or energetically?What might shift if you stopped forcing yourself to keep the same pace and listened more closely to what your body is asking for?We’d love to hear from you.You can email us at [email protected] or send us a DMLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewWhen a relationship ends, it can feel completely disorientating - like the ground has shifted beneath you and nothing quite makes sense anymore. In this episode, we talk honestly about heartbreak, obsession, rejection, and the deep vulnerability that comes with losing not just a partner, but a version of yourself.Drawing on our own experiences of breakups across different stages of life, we explore why the pain feels so consuming, how self-worth often gets tangled up in rejection, and why healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. This is a conversation for anyone in the thick of it - or anyone who still carries echoes of past heartbreak.Key Discussion PointsThe obsession phase: rumination, analysing everything, and chasing connectionHow low self-worth amplifies the pain of rejectionThe three-month mark: noticing when the fog starts to liftWhy laughing again can feel wrong - and why it’s actually a sign of healingThe pull to reach out for dopamine and familiarity (even when you know better)Why heartbreak isn’t weakness - it’s proof you can love deeplyListener TakeawaysFeeling broken after a breakup doesn’t mean you’re weak - it means you caredThe pain won’t last forever, even if it feels endless right nowA relationship ending doesn’t take your worth away - it asks you to find it within yourselfHealing happens quietly, often without you noticing at firstAwareness, not regret, is what allows real growthOne day you’ll wake up and realise they weren’t the first thought in your mind — and that’s the beginning of coming back to yourselfJoin the ConversationIf you've been through a break up or know someone who has, please feel free to get in touch and let us know your thoughts. Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon, available for the price of a coffee each month. We’d love to see you there.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode overviewA line from Jon Bon Jovi that genuinely stopped Aileen in her tracks: “We’re all just here trying to figure it out.” Coming from someone who looks like he’s “made it”, it lands differently - like an equaliser and a hand on your shoulder.This one is about humility, rebuilding, and the midlife unravel - the kind that can feel frightening… but might actually be the start of coming home to yourself.Key discussion pointsThe line that hit hard: “We’re all just here trying to figure it out” - why it feels more powerful coming from someone we assume has it all sorted.Identity vs performance: the idea that what you do isn’t who you are - and why that’s a self-worth conversation, not just a career one.Why we all panic when something shifts: kids growing up, relationships changing, careers wobbling, hormones doing their thing — and suddenly asking: If I’m not doing that… who am I?Losing your voice as a metaphor: not physically - emotionally. Years of being silenced, managing everyone else’s emotions, walking on eggshells, and having to rebuild your voice “brick by brick”.A softer, truer kind of success: chasing dreams from alignment, not pressure - and remembering it’s never “too late” to change direction.Listener takeawaysYou are not your role. Not your job title. Not your productivity. Not your “usefulness”.Losing your voice doesn’t mean you’re lost. It might be the start of finding the real one.Humility is strength. Real confidence isn’t loud - it’s honest.Dreams don’t expire. There’s always a new phase, and you can still begin again at 40, 50, 60 - but from alignment, not pressure.You don’t need a five-year plan to be okay. You don’t need to be polished to be worthy.Join the conversationIf you’re in a season where things feel uncertain - where you’re rethinking who you are, or what your life is becoming - you’re not alone.A question to sit with: When you strip away what you do… what’s still true about who you are?And if this episode made you exhale a little, share it with someone who might need that same hand-on-the-shoulder feeling.One more thing, our Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon (for the price of a cup of coffee each month). If you want a little extra support in your ears, come and join us there.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewIn this episode, we explore a tension many of us feel deeply — the pull between wanting space and craving connection. When does protecting our peace start to feel like shutting people out? And why can setting boundaries trigger so much guilt, fear, or worry about losing belonging?We reflect on how our early conditioning shapes the way we relate, why many of us learned that belonging meant being agreeable, and how self-worth plays a crucial role in whether boundaries feel safe or threatening. This is a conversation about unlearning, reclaiming energy, and redefining what real belonging actually looks like in this season of life.Key Discussion PointsWhy the desire to belong is deeply human - even for those who value independenceHow many of us were taught that belonging meant being easy, polite, and agreeableThe link between self-worth and boundary-settingHow carrying emotional labour can look like strength but quietly erodes self-worthThe difference between fitting in and true belonging, inspired by Brené BrownListener TakeawaysBoundaries aren’t rejection - they’re redirectionSaying no is not unkind; it’s a way of valuing yourselfBelonging that requires self-abandonment isn’t belonging at allWhen self-worth dips, boundaries often soften — noticing this is powerfulYou don’t need to earn your place; you already belongJoin the ConversationWe love hearing from you. Do you struggle more with setting boundaries, or with the fear of losing belonging when you do? Leave us a voicemail or send us a DM - your reflections may be shared in a future episode.And if this conversation resonated, consider sharing it with someone who needs the reminder that protecting their peace doesn’t make them selfish - it makes them grounded.Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon, available for the price of a coffee each month. We’d love to see you there.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode overviewIn this episode, we unpack why so many of us learn to play it small — not because we lack confidence or ambition, but because at some point it felt safer to do so. Following the huge response to our Don’t Hide Your Shine sanity check, we explore how hiding your shine shows up in everyday life, where it comes from, and why it’s so closely tied to self-worth. We talk about school, family systems, culture, gendered expectations, and nervous-system protection — and how, over time, shrinking ourselves can leave us feeling muted, disconnected, and far from who we really are. We also share how to begin reclaiming those hidden parts of yourself in small, human ways, without feeling like you’re showing off or abandoning the people around you.Key discussion pointsWhat we really mean by “shine” - and why it’s not about ego or attentionThe subtle ways we reduce ourselves: downplaying achievements, staying quiet, deflecting praise, shrinking joyTall poppy syndrome, school dynamics, and early lessons about standing outFamily systems and why keeping the peace can mean keeping yourself smallHow women are given constant mixed messages: confident but not too confident, ambitious but not selfishWhy dimming yourself becomes automatic - and how it disconnects you from who you areThe discomfort (and grief) that can come with letting yourself be seen againListener takeawaysPlaying it small is rarely a choice - it’s usually learned protectionYour shine isn’t arrogance; it’s alivenessHumility and self-worth can exist togetherStart with noticing when you automatically shrink or brush yourself offPractise receiving - even two seconds can make a differenceLet yourself take up a little more space than you did yesterdayYou don’t need to be palatable to everyone to be worthyIf this episode resonated and you recognised a place where you’ve been dimming yourself, we’d love to hear from you. Send us a DM or leave us a voicemail - your stories matter. And for more on this theme, head over to Patreon for this week’s sanity check (link in the show notes).Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewNew Year’s Eve often sits in a strange in-between space - part reflection, part expectation. In this conversation, we gently unpack why this moment can feel heavy with pressure, and how New Year’s resolutions so often become another way we tell ourselves we’re not enough yet.We talk honestly about where resolutions really come from, how self-worth gets tangled up in performance and productivity, and why so many of us end up feeling guilty by February. From bin-bag workouts in Glasgow to chilli powder water confessions, we share the ridiculous (and revealing) things we’ve done in the name of “self-improvement”.This episode is an invitation to pause, soften, and question the story underneath the goal - and to consider a different way of entering a new year that’s rooted in compassion rather than self-rejection.Key Discussion PointsWhy New Year’s Eve holds both hope and pressure - and why that collective expectation can feel so heavyThe hidden message behind most resolutions: be thinner, richer, better, more disciplinedHow self-improvement often masks self-rejectionThe role of comparison, social media, vision boards and five-year plansThe link between habits, emotion, and soothing unmet needsWhy change takes repetition, not revolution (and what the research really shows)Shifting from striving to self-acceptanceListener TakeawaysYou can’t hate yourself into lasting changeMost resolutions fail because they’re rooted in lack, not loveReal change happens when behaviour shifts after the story underneath is understoodSmall, kind habits are more powerful than dramatic overhaulsProgress isn’t linear - and it doesn’t need a January start dateYou don’t need a new version of yourself to begin againThe version of you here right now is already resilient, capable, and enoughJoin the ConversationAs this year turns over, we’d love to know:What are you ready to stop postponing?What would it look like to enter this year with curiosity instead of pressure?You can share your thoughts with us over on Instagram or send us a message - we read them all, and this community guides every conversation we have.However you’re spending New Year’s Eve, we’re glad you’re here.Here’s to soft changes, small beginnings, and remembering who you already are.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewIt’s Christmas Eve, and today we’re sitting with one word that has shown up again and again this year: connection.Not the glossy, picture-perfect kind we see in adverts, but the quiet, truthful kind that grounds us - especially when the season feels full, loud, or lonely.In this short episode, we explore why connection becomes harder to access at the very moment we need it most, and how presence - with ourselves and with others - can bring us back to what matters.Key Discussion PointsThe gap between expectation and reality at Christmas — and why it can feel so emotional.Loneliness statistics in Australia and the UK that reveal how many people struggle at this time of year.Why real connection starts with being present with yourself, even when your feelings are uncomfortable.The role of vulnerability in meaningful relationships - and how dropping the performance opens the door to genuine closeness.How to feel connected even if you’re spending Christmas alone.Listener TakeawaysConnection isn’t about the size of your table - it’s about the honesty you bring to it.You’re allowed to acknowledge sadness, overwhelm, or loneliness at Christmas. Naming it is part of connection too.Presence is the most meaningful gift you can offer, whether to yourself or someone you love.You are worthy of connection exactly as you are - no performance required.The small, human moments often matter far more than the carefully orchestrated ones.Join the ConversationHow are you feeling heading into Christmas this year?Is there someone you want to reconnect with - including yourself?Send us a DM or voicemail. We’d love to hear what this season brings up for you.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode overviewIn this episode, we pause on one simple line that stopped us in our tracks:“We’ll know our children as adults far longer than we’ll know them as children.”We take a trip down memory lane talk about how quickly the “little years” pass, why those toddler days feel so vivid, and what it’s like to suddenly realise we’re parenting almost-adults. From Peppa Pig pyjamas and Iggle Piggle shows to mascara, moods and slammed doors, we look at how our kids have changed – and how we have too.If you’re feeling that quiet ache of “when did they grow up?”, this one is for you.Key discussion pointsThe moment that quote landed and why it brought up such a wave of emotion.Remembering the early years: buggies, board-on-the-pram days, Lapland trips, tiny hands and mispronounced words.How phones, constant entertainment and “never being bored” might be changing our kids’ sense of time.The identity shift for mums when we’re no longer needed every second and the house gets quieter.Grief and gratitude in the same breath – noticing that every stage feels like the hardest and the best, and every stage ends.Listener takeawaysYou’re not imagining it – childhood really is a tiny window of time, and it’s normal to feel emotional when you notice it closing.It’s okay to miss the toddler years and still be utterly exhausted by them while you were in them.Presence matters more than perfection: your kids will remember how it felt to be with you more than the schedule, the craft, or the trip.This in-between age is confusing for them and for us – they want independence and reassurance at the same time, and so do we.One simple practice: notice one everyday moment today – the eye roll, the shared joke, the “mum, what’s for dinner?” – and mentally bookmark it as a memory you’ll miss one day.Join the conversationIf this episode touched that tender place of “they’re growing up so fast”, we’d love to hear from you.Come and share a favourite toddler memory, or what this teenage season feels like for you right now. Send us a DM or voice note on Instagram @youkeepmesane.podJoin us over on Patreon for this week’s Sanity Check and more honest chats about motherhood, identity and this season of life shifts.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode overviewIn this episode, we explore a sneaky belief many of us absorbed young: that the loudest person in the room is the strongest one - and that being quieter, reflective or sensitive somehow makes you weaker.We talk about loudness as a shield, teenage friendship dynamics, being labelled “weak” for not being the loud one, and how that seeps into adult life - careers, friendships, parenting and the way we judge women who live differently. Quiet strength, we’ve realised, often doesn’t get the spotlight… but it might be the most powerful kind.Key discussion pointsJamie Kern Lima’s story: building IT Cosmetics, selling to L’Oréal, and still feeling unworthy inside.The crucial difference between self-confidence (what you can do) and self-worth (who you believe you are).The teenage playground dynamic: loud, attention-grabbing girls seen as “strong” and quieter ones labelled “weak”.How these teen patterns spill into adulthood: friendship politics, social dominance, and how others read our strength.“You fall to what you believe you’re worthy of”: how low worth can lead to unhealthy relationships and choices.Why quieter personalities often have higher emotional intelligence, empathy and self-awareness - and why that is strength.Listener takeawaysQuiet doesn’t equal weak. Loud doesn’t automatically equal strong. Self-confidence and self-worth are different. You can be brilliant, capable and “together” on the outside and still feel not enough inside. If your identity rises and falls with achievements, income, roles or how “busy” you are, it might be a sign your self-worth is asking for attention.Gentleness can be powerful. You don’t have to shout to be heard. Presence, consistency, kindness and reflection are all forms of quiet strengthAs parents and caregivers, we’re modelling what strength looks like. Showing boundaries, self-respect and calm courage gives our kids a very different map than “loudest wins”.The small, unseen choices - saying no, changing direction, choosing rest, ending a draining friendship - are often the truest expressions of self-worth.Join the conversationIf you can relate to this, share your story with us - leave a voice note or send us a message on Instagram at @youkeepmesane.pod. If this episode resonated, please pass it on to someone who might need the reminder that quiet isn’t weak and loud isn’t always strong.And if you’d like extra support, reflections and mini deep-dives each week, join us over on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - all for about the price of a coffee a month. Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewThis week we’re joined by Monica Maldonado - the voice behind @thepowerofgoodenough - for a raw, hopeful conversation about how low self-worth can quietly shape our lives even when we’ve had a “stable” upbringing. Monica shares how being the youngest of four, people-pleasing, and staying “small” became an identity she had to unlearn in adulthood. We talk about awakening moments, inner-child work, nervous-system safety, micro-actions, and the difference between healing and transformation. If you’ve ever felt “average,” invisible, or only worthy when you perform — this one’s for you.Key Discussion Points“Stable” childhoods & invisible wounds: Why invalidation and family roles (youngest/eldest, capable/quiet) can wire worth externally.Not-enoughness as identity: How staying small becomes comfortable - and why leaving it feels terrifying (and courageous).Awakening → healing → transformation: The stages Monica noticed, and why many of us get stuck healing but never acting.Inner-child work that actually helps: Re-parenting with compassion, giving yourself the words you never heard.Boundaries as self-respect (not punishment): Standards you set for you, not rules to control others.Generation-breaking: Modeling unconditional worth for our kids while we’re still rewriting our own scripts.Why Monica’s message resonates now: Women naming burnout, rejecting perfection, and refusing to shrink anymore.Listener TakeawaysYour worth is inherent. Move from “I’m worthy only when…” to “I’m worthy even when…”.Name the pattern. Ask: Where am I still performing small to stay safe/liked?Regulate, then act. A regulated body makes brave conversations possible.Practice micro-courage daily. One tiny ask, no apology attached. Repeat.Boundaries raise your life’s ceiling. Your standards reflect your self-worth.Reframe for your inner teen. “You failed” → “You’re learning.” Experience ≠ identity.Don’t linger in healing. Turn insights into action so transformation can stick.Join the ConversationFind Monica on Instagram: @thepowerofgoodenough. Tell us your micro-action this week - what tiny boundary or brave ask did you try? Share the episode with a friend who needs the reminder: you’re enough, even when. Come hang out with us for weekly deep dives & Sanity Checks.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first monthIf you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewWe talk about the “always on” culture - phones, pings, and pressure to reply instantly - and how it hijacks presence, deep focus, and self-worth. From family group chats and school apps to work Slack and late-night DMs, we explore why constant accessibility feels normal (and even “kind”), how it fuels anxiety and perfectionism, and simple, compassionate boundaries that let you choose when you’re available. The goal isn’t a digital detox; it’s digital boundaries - so you can be in your life, not just in your inbox.Key Discussion PointsThe speed of living: Instant everything (messages, info, shopping, streaming) creates a false “high capacity” expectation - and a nervous system on edgeResponsiveness ≠ reliability: We unpack why replying fast has been confused with being caring, competent, or “on it.”Home + work spillover: From school apps to after-hours Slack—why the lack of pause multiplies the mental load.Kids, teens, and phones: Read receipts, comparison, and the pressure to respond—how we’re coaching our kids (and ourselves).Addiction loops: The comfort of holding the phone, the “just one more app” cycle, and how partial attention keeps us revved.Research we reference: Constant interruptions erode focus and increase anxiety; it takes real time to refocus after a ping.Listener TakeawaysYou don’t owe anyone constant access. Your worth isn’t measured in response times.Pause beats panic. Waiting to reply often leads to calmer, kinder, clearer responses.Make one small boundary today: 10–15 phone-free minutes (or an hour if you can). Notice the twitch, boredom, or urge—beneath it is calm.Say it out loud: “No rush to reply.” Model it and people mirror it.Choose your pockets of presence: After breakfast before checking, or phone charging in the kitchen at night.Remember: Reliability is showing up when it matters, not being instantly available.Join the ConversationTell us your favourite digital boundary. Do you have phone-free time? Do read receipts stress you out? Feel free DM us on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod, or leave us a voicemail - we may feature your thoughts in a future episode.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewWe dive into that sticky space between empathy and exhaustion—the moment a caring friend becomes the “emotional sponge” (hello, emotional vampires 👀). We talk about invisible emotional labour, midlife capacity, Catholic/learned guilt, and why stepping back isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect. We share how chronic one-way “offloading” keeps both people stuck, and how gentle, clear boundaries help everyone grow.Key Discussion PointsMonologue vs. conversation: the red flag of constant offloading with no pause, curiosity, or reciprocityInvisible labour is real: the listener/soother role is invaluable - and often unseen.Self-worth & caregiving: when your value is tied to being “the strong one,” pulling back can trigger guiltOutsourcing processing: how repeated dumping keeps others in a holding pattern (and drains you)Quiet boundaries: reply when you have capacity, slow the response loop, name your limits kindly.Love ≠ carrying it all: you can care deeply without being the emotional crutch.Listener TakeawaysNotice your body’s cues: if you dread the message or feel depleted after chats, a boundary is needed.Ask the reciprocity question: do they ever ask how you are—and stay to hear the answer?Try a gentle reset: “I want to support you, but I don’t always have the emotional energy to take everything on.”Delay is a boundary: respond when you have capacity, not on read-receipt guilt.Guilt ≠ wrongdoing: it often shows up when you’re doing something new and healthier.Protect your peace: empathy with boundaries prevents burnout—and keeps relationships honest.Join the ConversationTell us your story on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod or leave us a voice note -we’d love to hear how you navigate this. Share this episode with the friend who’s always “the strong one.”Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewFeeling stretched thin, foggy, or quietly burning out? You’re not alone. In this episode, we get honest about that midlife feeling of running on empty - when hormones, deadlines, and daily demands leave you wondering how it’s all sustainable.Inspired by Dame Patricia Routledge’s beautiful reflection before her 95th birthday, we talk about what it really means to bloom again. From her role as Hyacinth “Bouquet” to her later-life creativity and peace, her words remind us that it’s never too late to come home to ourselves.We explore how midlife isn’t a decline but a recalibration - a shedding, softening, and rediscovering of what truly matters. Whether you’re exhausted, in transition, or simply questioning who you are without the noise, this conversation is a reminder that growth doesn’t stop. It just changes form.Key Discussion PointsThe emotional exhaustion that sits “behind your eyes” - and why so many of us feel it.Dame Patricia Routledge’s wisdom on fear, timelines, and finding peace later in life.Landing Hyacinth Bucket at 50 - how the role healed something in her.Learning Italian at 60 and painting at 80 - the joy of growth without goals.The freedom of “nothing to prove” and why midlife can be the age of authenticity.Shifting from “How do I get back to who I was?” to “Who am I becoming?” Listener TakeawaysMidlife isn’t the end - it’s a reset. A time to recalibrate, soften, and listen to your own rhythm.Growth doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes it’s found in stillness, in joy, in doing things just for you.You’re never too late. There’s no timeline for blooming — it can happen at 40, 60, or 95.Start small. Learn something new for fun, say no without guilt, or simply sit in quiet presence.There’s no race to become who you’re meant to be. The timeline you were taught to follow isn’t real - you’re allowed to bloom later, slower, and differently than you expected.Peace isn’t found in perfection. It begins the moment you stop performing and start listening to who you are underneath the noise.Join the ConversationWhat does blooming again look like for you right now? Is it softening, starting over, or rediscovering joy in the ordinary? Send us a DM or voice note - we’d love to hear your reflections.If this episode gave you hope or made you pause, share it with a friend who might need the reminder that it’s never too late to bloom again. Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewIn this episode we sit down with Kate Daly, co-founder of Amicable, to explore how self-worth, identity, and personal growth are intertwined with relationships - and what happens when those relationships end.Kate shares her wisdom from years of supporting couples through separation and co-parenting, offering a compassionate reframe: divorce isn’t a failure - it’s a change in how a family operates so everyone can thrive.Together, we talk about how easily self-worth becomes tied to roles - wife, mother, partner, provider - and what it means to reclaim a sense of identity beyond them. From people-pleasing and invisible labour to fear, shame, and rebuilding from the ground up, this is a deeply human, empowering look at what it means to rediscover yourself after loss.Key Discussion PointsHow self-worth gets tied to our roles — and what happens when those roles change.The invisible load women carry and why it’s still undervalued.Reframing divorce as courage, not failure.Listener TakeawaysDivorce doesn’t erase your worth — it reveals it.You’re more than your role or relationship.Pause, breathe, and ground before you react.AMICABLE LINKS (2) Instagram  (25) amicable: Overview | LinkedIn  (1256) amicable divorce - YouTube Join the Conversation Have you experienced a time when your sense of worth was tied to your role in a relationship? Or found strength in rebuilding after a separation? Message us via the links below!Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first monthIf you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewIn a world that feels louder and busier than ever, finding peace can feel impossible - especially for introverts who need quiet to recharge.In this episode, we sit down with Vanessa Marie Dewsbury,  best selling author and podcaster, who opens up about how she embraced a slower, softer way of living after years of tying her self-worth to busyness. We talk about why stillness is essential for our mental and emotional health, how introverts can protect their energy in an extroverted world, and why learning to say no (without guilt!) is one of the greatest acts of self-care.This conversation is a permission slip to pause, breathe, and reconnect with yourself - even if it’s just for 10 minutes a day.More About Vanessa:As well as being a best selling author, podcaster, and advocate for those wanting to embrace their quiet nature. She follows the path true to her heart rather than conforming to societal expectations. Through her journey of healing and growth, she has discovered the profound importance of trusting her voice and living in alignment with her deepest beliefs and values. Through her work, Vanessa encourages others to honor their authentic selves and cultivate confidence in their unique way of being. You can connect with Vanessa on Instagram @soulalivebarrie or on Facebook at Vanessa Marie Dewsbury.You can grab Vanessa’s book, Living A Quiet Life: Daily Reflections for Peace, Purpose and Personal Growth.Books Links:US:https://a.co/d/aOr4bvFCA: https://a.co/d/bWSKpSPUK:https://amzn.eu/d/9SKPMJLAU:https://amzn.asia/d/dFVCzMJoin the ConversationHave you tried slowing down and living more intentionally? What helps you recharge when life feels overwhelming? We’d love to hear your thoughts - drop us a DM or a voicenote @youkeepmesane.podJoin Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewWe’re revisiting connection - and layering in self-worth. We talk about why these two are inseparable, how midlife logistics (kids, caregiving, energy, perimenopause) change how we connect, and what to do when loneliness starts to chip at your worth. We share real stories of moving “home” and still feeling out of place, rebuilding identity, and redefining what counts as connection so it nourishes (not drains) you.Key Discussion PointsThe loop between worth and connection: shaky worth makes us hide; disconnection then lowers worth further.Loneliness ≠ unworthiness: it’s a signal, not a verdict - and why vulnerability (admitting “I feel lonely”) often unlocks support.Redefining connection: letting small touchpoints (a meme, a voice note, a 15-minute coffee) count.Letting go to make room: grieving old forms of connection so new, right-sized ones can grow.Self-connection first: anchoring in “who I am now” to choose connections that affirm your worth.Listener TakeawaysName it: “I feel lonely” is not a flaw.Start small: one message, one invite, one walk-and-talk - it all counts.Stop pegging your worth to a social calendar.Choose people and formats that leave you feeling more you.Vulnerability (“this is where I’m at”) often brings people closer.Join the ConversationDid this resonate? Share the episode with a friend who might need a nudge to reach out. DM us on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod or leave us a voice note. Tell us: What’s one small way you’ll connect this week - with yourself or someone else?Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewBeing honest with yourself sounds simple - but it’s one of the hardest things to do. Because when we drop the excuses and really look at our patterns, it often means admitting we’re the problem. And that truth stings.In this Sanity Check, we explore the discomfort of self-honesty, why we avoid it, and how facing it can shift everything-from relationships to careers to daily habits.Key Discussion PointsWhy being honest with yourself feels so uncomfortable.How excuses protect us from change.Everyday examples of self-deception (lateness, relationships, careers, friendships).The role of self-worth in facing the gap between who we think we are and how we actually show up.Why honesty isn’t failure - it’s awareness and the key to growth.Listener TakeawaysExcuses may protect you from discomfort, but they also keep you stuck.Self-honesty shines a light on patterns you can actually change.Facing uncomfortable truths is what creates real growth and freedom.Join the ConversationWhat truth are you avoiding right now? Where might you be telling yourself a story because the real answer feels uncomfortable?We’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to DM us or send us a voice note. We love hearing from you.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode overviewThis week we get honest about “the grass is greener” mindset - why we pin our happiness on a new place, job, or relationship, and what changes when we stop outsourcing contentment. We share our own stories of chasing locations (Spain, Europe, Australia), the let-down that followed, and the shift to building an inner baseline of self-worth, gratitude, and presence. The takeaway: greener grass isn’t a postcode - it’s a perspective you carry with you.Key discussion pointsLocation as identity: How tying worth to a city/country kept us restless - and what happened when the shine wore off.Hedonic adaptation: Why the high of “new” fades and we start craving the next thing.Comparison traps: Social media and “other people’s lives” that subtly drive our desires.The big confrontation: Realising “wherever you go, you take you” (and all your patterns) with you.Gratitude as an anchor: Practising daily appreciation to feel fuller where you are.Choosing from fullness: Dreaming and moving are still allowed - just not to fix you.Listener takeawaysName the feeling you’re chasing. Is it freedom, belonging, purpose, adventure, peace? Explore ways to create that feeling here (e.g., new routine, community, hobby, micro-adventures).Do the “under-my-feet” audit. List 5 things that are working right now - people, habits, places, tiny joys.Gratitude rep: 3 items, daily. Keep it simple and specific (today’s sky, a text from a friend, a warm cup of tea).Comparison check: Limit the scroll that triggers “move/flee” urges; follow accounts that ground you.Self-worth prompt: “If I believed I was enough as I am, would I still need this change to feel okay?”If you still want the move: Great - plan it from stability, not scarcity. Make a values-based list of what the change must support.Join the conversationWhat’s the “greener grass” you’ve been eyeing—and what feeling is underneath it? Tell us in a DM or voice note. If this episode helped, please follow, rate, and share it with a friend who needs a reframe today.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewIn this Sanity Check, we get real about the adventures we used to have in our 20s and 30s - the flights booked on a whim, the countries we moved to, the people we met in transit, and the sheer freedom of saying yes without worrying about logistics. Somewhere along the way, life shifted. School runs, work deadlines, and financial commitments have made spontaneity harder to come by, and the adventurous parts of ourselves feel tucked away under layers of routine.But here’s the thing: that spirit of adventure isn’t gone. She’s still in there. Maybe adventure now doesn’t mean moving countries or taking six holidays in a year - maybe it means breaking your routine, dancing in your kitchen, saying yes to something that scares you, or allowing yourself to dream again.This conversation is your reminder that you’re not too old, too busy, or too fixed to shake things up. Adventure is not just in the past - it’s something we can redefine at every stage of life.Key Discussion PointsThe freedom and chaos of spontaneous adventures in our 20s and 30s.How midlife responsibilities shift the way we experience adventure.The loss of spontaneity and why it leaves us feeling stagnant.The importance of curiosity, dreaming, and finding small ways to bring back colour and wildness.Redefining adventure for this season of life - and giving ourselves permission to embrace it.Listener TakeawaysAdventure doesn’t have to look the way it used to — it can be found in small, everyday shifts.Curiosity is the spark that leads us back to adventure.You’re never too old or too busy to feel lit up again.Sometimes, it’s about breaking routine and giving yourself permission to dream.Join the ConversationWhen was the last time you felt adventurous? What would it take for you to feel that way again? We’d love to hear your version of adventure — drop us a DM or message and share what lights you up.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview“Sorry.” “Please.” “Thank you.” On the surface, these are the pillars of good manners. But how often do we use them as more than politeness? In this episode, we dive into how these everyday words can quietly reveal- and even chip away at- our self-worth. From over-apologising to over-thanking, we explore how habits that look like kindness can actually be signs of shrinking ourselves.Together, we share personal stories of catching ourselves saying sorry for simply existing, layering too many pleases into requests, or thanking so much it borders on guilt. We also reflect on where these patterns come from - family, culture, childhood conditioning - and how they shape the way we model self-worth to our children.This isn’t about never saying sorry, please, or thank you again. It’s about learning to use them authentically - because when these words come from self-worth, not insecurity, they hold their true power.Key Discussion PointsWhy over-apologising often signals low self-worth rather than good manners.The hidden meaning behind excessive pleases and thank yous.How cultural upbringing and childhood conditioning shape our language habits.The fine line between being considerate and shrinking yourself.Modeling healthier language (and worth) for the next generation.Listener TakeawaysNotice when you’re saying sorry, please, or thank you - is it genuine, or a way of softening yourself?Practice swaps like “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late.”Remember: you’re allowed to take up space, ask for what you need, and exist without apologising.Words matter - let them reflect your worth, not your insecurity.Join the ConversationWe’d love to hear from you: which word do you catch yourself overusing—sorry, please, or thank you? And what swap will you try this week? Message us or send a voice note- we love hearing your reflections.And if you know someone who apologises for breathing, share this episode with them - it might be the reminder they need that they’re already enough.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewWe all have our dream locations - the sea breeze, the mountain air, or the buzz of the city. But what happens when you finally get there and still don’t feel the way you thought you would? In this episode, we share our own stories of longing for the “perfect” place and what we discovered along the way.From Aileen’s dream of the Spanish coastline to Julie’s years of hopping between major cities, we explore how easy it is to pin our happiness and self-worth on external things - and how that rarely delivers what we’re really looking for. Because the truth is, no postcode, no view, and no lifestyle will ever fill the gap if we don’t feel enough as we are.Key Discussion PointsWhy we often attach our dreams to a location - and why it doesn’t work.The hidden fear behind Aileen’s love of the sea.Julie’s restlessness across cities like LA, London, and New York.How external “backdrops” can distract us from doing the inner work.The real question: What feeling do we think the place will give us?Why building self-worth from the inside out changes everything.Listener TakeawaysHappiness isn’t in a postcode. The sea, mountains, or city can’t fix how you feel inside.The backdrop is never the main character. You bring yourself - and your unresolved issues - wherever you go.Start now. Instead of waiting for the perfect move, ask yourself what feeling you’re really chasing and find ways to create it today.Join the ConversationHave you ever dreamed of a move, a lifestyle change, or a new location, only to discover you still felt the same once you got there? We’d love to hear your story. Share your thoughts and DM us or drop us a voice note. Your experiences help others feel less alone.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewIn this episode we sit down with Nitika, founder of Aila Money, to explore the deep and complicated ties between money and self-worth. From growing up with scarcity to chasing salaries as proof of success, Nitika shares her journey of redefining what financial security really means. We also unpack why the gender wealth gap persists, how confidence and representation shape women’s financial choices, and what it takes to separate your paycheck from your value.Key Discussion PointsHow early messages linked money to security and self-worth.Choosing impact and joy over maximising income.Why the gender wealth gap still exists - and the role of self-worth in it.The “motherhood tax” and how it ties worth to income.Why women actually outperform men when they invest.Listener TakeawaysSelf-worth and salary are not the same thing - your value isn’t measured in paychecks.Confidence and representation matter: if you don’t see it, it’s harder to believe you can be it.Money is a tool, not an identity. It gives you choices, freedom, and the ability to design your life.Women who invest often outperform men - the challenge is building the confidence to begin.Links to Aila Money https://www.instagram.com/ailamoneyhttps://www.instagram.com/nitika_moneyptAila Money’s 75-Day Financial Fitness Challengehttps://luma.com/4zrg3jiu?locale=en-GBJoin the ConversationWe’d love to hear your reflections. Have you ever tied your self-worth to your salary? What helped you step back and see money differently? Share your thoughts with us, send us a DM or a voice-note. Your stories always mean so much.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first monthIf you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewIn this episode, we get real about comparison - that sneaky reflex that leaves us feeling behind, not enough, or smaller than we really are. It started with a conversation about a new podcast soaring to a million downloads in just weeks, and led us to reflect on how quickly we can slip into the comparison trap.We talk about why it’s so easy to measure ourselves against others, how social media turbocharges the urge to compare, and the danger it poses to our self-worth and confidence. Most importantly, we share how to shift the focus back to our own journey - to celebrate the resilience, growth, and wins that can’t be measured in numbers.Key Discussion PointsThe Digit podcast milestone and why it triggered thoughts about comparison.The deep roots of comparison - from survival instincts to modern highlight reels.How social media amplifies comparison and skews perspective. What happens when comparison chips away at confidence and freezes momentum.The powerful reframe: measuring your progress against your own journey instead of someone else’s.Listener TakeawaysComparison is natural — but what you do with it is what counts. Don’t measure your starting line against someone else’s decade of work.Social media is a highlight reel — not the whole story.Focus on your own progress: resilience, growth, brick-by-brick wins. The only lane that matters is your own.Join the ConversationDo you struggle with comparison? We’d love to hear how it shows up for you and how you handle it. Send us a DM or share this episode with someone who needs the reminder to stay in their own lane.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode overviewWe dig into our complicated relationship with mistakes - why being wrong can feel threatening, how that ties to self-worth, and what changes when we choose honesty over image. From tween apologies to boardroom dread, to the ways we over-apologise without really owning it, we explore how admitting fault builds trust, lightens the emotional load, and strengthens relationships (including with ourselves).Key discussion pointsWhy it’s hard to be wrong: perfection messages at school, and fear of judgment make mistakes feel like a threat to identity.Self-worth traps: When your worth is pegged to “being capable/strong/reliable,” being wrong can feel like you are wrong.Surface vs. sincere apologies: The difference between smoothing things over (“sorry, but…”) and true accountability (“I was wrong - no excuses”).Parenting & modelling: Cheering mistakes, apologising to our kids, and how that normalises repair.Trauma & perspective shifts: How big losses recalibrate what matters - and make letting go of “being right” easier.Listener takeawaysTry this reframe: “Being wrong doesn’t make me unworthy - it makes me human.”Micro-reps for honesty: Practice small admissions -“You’re right, I forgot” - without scrambling for excuses.Notice & name it: When defensiveness rises, ask: Am I defending my point - or my worth?Model what you want: Apologise to your kids/partner/friends; show that repair is normal and safe.Release the armor: Honesty reduces shame, restores energy, and deepens trust.Join the conversationWe’d love to hear from you: when was the last time you admitted you were wrong? Did it make you feel weaker, or did it actually make you feel stronger? Share your experience with us-send us a DM or a voice note. These are the kinds of stories that remind us we’re not alone, and the more we talk about them, the easier it gets.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewIn this week’s Sanity Check, we’re diving into a word that was a complete revelation to us - ambivert. For years we’ve thought in terms of introverts and extroverts, but what if you’re a mix of both? We talk about how our social energy has shifted with age, why surface-level chat feels so draining, and how self-worth helps us choose the connections that truly matter.Key Discussion PointsWhy saying yes to every coffee date or catch-up can leave you drained.The role of self-worth in choosing where you spend your time.What it really means to be an ambivert.How age, self-growth, and experience change our tolerance for surface-level conversations.Lessons we’re passing on to our daughters.Listener TakeawaysYou don’t need to feel guilty for saying no.A smaller, more authentic circle of friends can often bring more fulfilment than a big social network.Being an ambivert means you can love connecting with people and still need quiet time to recharge.Popularity and numbers (friends, followers, likes) don’t define your worth.Choosing consciously where to put your energy helps you show up as your best self.Join the ConversationDo you see yourself as an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert? How do you protect your energy when it comes to social life and friendships?We’d love to hear your thoughts - drop us a DM, or share this episode with someone who needs a reminder that a smaller, truer circle is worth so much more.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewIn this episode, we dive into imposter syndrome — that all-too-familiar sense of doubting yourself despite clear evidence you’ve earned your place. We talk about how it has shown up in our own lives, why it’s especially common among high achievers, and how it quietly chips away at self-worth. From the root causes we pick up as kids to the way adult pressures amplify it, we explore why so many of us carry this fear of being “found out.” Most importantly, we share the practical ways we’ve learned to turn the volume down — reframing success, tracking wins, and remembering that feelings aren’t facts.Key Discussion PointsWhat imposter syndrome really is and why it’s so commonEarly roots: praise, comparison, and perfectionismWhy high achievers often feel it mostHow workplaces and life transitions amplify self-doubtThe nervous system’s role in treating visibility as dangerPractical shifts that help: naming it, tracking wins, reframing successWhy self-worth — not achievement — is the real antidoteListener TakeawaysFeeling like a fraud doesn’t mean you are one — feelings aren’t facts.Reframe success as effort and growth, not just flawless results.Keep your wins close and stop “comparing up.”Mistakes are proof you’re learning, not proof you don’t belong.Your worth isn’t tied to achievements or approval — you’re already enough.Join the ConversationIf imposter syndrome has shown up in your life, you’re in good company. We’d love to hear your story — DM us or send a voice note. And if you know someone who needs this reminder, please share the episode with them. You keep us sane too. 🤍Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewHave you ever finally sat down to rest, only to find yourself fidgeting, scrolling, or looking for something to tidy? You’re not alone. There’s a name for this: relaxation anxiety.In this week’s Sanity Check, we dive into why slowing down feels so uncomfortable when your life is full of constant momentum, and how our culture ties worth to productivity.Key Discussion Points:What “relaxation anxiety” is and why it shows up.The pressure we put on ourselves to earn rest.Why busyness can become our default identity.The cultural link between productivity and self-worth.How to approach rest as something we learn, not something we feel guilty about.Listener Takeaways:If you feel restless when you stop, it’s not failure, it’s your body unwinding.Rest isn’t a luxury or something you have to deserve, it’s essential.Give yourself patience and grace: momentum takes time to slow down.Try building in smaller, frequent moments of rest instead of waiting for the perfect time.Join the ConversationHave you experienced relaxation anxiety? How do you give yourself permission to stop without guilt? Send us a DM or leave a comment, we’d love to hear your thoughts.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:In this week’s episode of You Keep Me Sane, we dive into what it really means to be Gen X - caught between silence and strength, invisibility and overachievement. We explore how growing up in a culture that told us to “just get on with it” shaped our self-worth, and how the infamous “Wonder Woman cape” became both our badge of honour and our heaviest burden.From latchkey kids to midlife jugglers, we unpack the generational weight we carry. We talk about why it shows up in our health, our relationships, and our sense of identity and what it means to finally name it, put it down, and choose something lighter.Key Discussion Points:Why Gen X was taught to suppress emotions and “just cope” without supportThe Wonder Woman cape: how being endlessly capable became tied to our worthMidlife as a reckoning point - when silence and strain finally catch upThe impact of suppressed emotions on health (autoimmune conditions, stress, burnout)Practical reflections on setting down the cape and redefining worthListener Takeaways:You are not weak for feeling the weight, you’ve been carrying decades of conditioning.Self-worth doesn’t come from how much you can juggle, it comes from who you are.Setting down the cape, even for an hour, can be a radical act of self-care.Naming what our generation carries isn’t complaining, it’s the first step to healing.We can choose to raise our children differently, with openness and emotional language that we never had.Join the Conversation:Where are you still wearing the Wonder Woman cape? And what would it feel like to set it down - just for an hour?We’d love to hear your reflections. DM us or leave a voice note to share your story.And if this episode resonated, don’t forget to follow, rate, and share the podcast so more of us can feel seen, heard, and a little less alone.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:We’re not here to talk about dieting, detoxes, or food fads. This week’s Sanity Check is about the small, doable changes we’ve each made to what we eat - and the unexpected shifts we’ve noticed in mood, energy, and clarity as a result.From quitting sugar to ditching oat milk, increasing hydration, and bringing back big bowls of salad, we’re getting honest about the habits that crept in (and the ones we let slide) during perimenopause, busy life seasons, and the cold, snacky winter months. If you’ve been feeling a bit off - fuzzy-headed, bloated, fatigued - this episode is your gentle nudge to get curious, not critical, about your food.Key Discussion Points:Why Aileen finally decided to give up sugar (again) and what happened in just a few days.How Julie's small tweaks (hello veggies, goodbye oat milk) made a surprisingly big difference.The emotional side of food: comfort eating, energy dips, winter cravings, and breaking old habits.What we’ve learned about food and brain fog, bloating, and midlife fatigue.Listener Takeaways:Sometimes you don’t need a major overhaul, tiny changes can create real results.Feeling “off” isn’t always just hormones or stress - sometimes, it’s what’s on your plate.When you eat from self-care instead of self-punishment, your whole mindset shifts.Start with curiosity. Even a 10% shift in how you feel can ripple into everything.Join the Conversation:Have you made any small changes lately that helped your energy, mood or health? We’d love to hear what’s working for you! Drop us a DM, leave a comment, or send a voice note - we’re all in this together.And if you found this helpful, please forward it to a friend who might need a reminder that it’s never too late to listen to your body.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode SummaryThis week we sit down with Johnny Starr – entrepreneur, fitness coach, and founder of Never Home. Johnny’s story is one of resilience, reinvention, and radical honesty about men’s mental health. From hitting rock bottom and multiple stays in a psychiatric ward to building a thriving brand with a powerful mindset message, Johnny shares how he’s learned to manage criticism, protect his self-worth, and turn personal battles into fuel for helping others.We dive into the stigma men still face when opening up, the mental toll of tall poppy syndrome, the pressures of social media, and why fitness became Johnny’s lifeline. This is an unfiltered conversation about courage, growth, and using your platform to lead with integrity.Key Discussion PointsJohnny’s mental health journey – from online hate and drug use to suicidal lows and recovery.The impact of tall poppy syndrome – why success and positivity can trigger criticism, and how Johnny reframed it.Men and vulnerability – breaking the silence, seeking help, and the role of therapy.Fitness as a mental health tool – how routine, discipline, and physical wellbeing transformed Johnny’s life.Building Never Home – creating a brand rooted in mindset, resilience, and purpose.Social media pressures – separating self-worth from material status and external validation.Listener TakeawaysSeeking professional help can be life-changing – therapy isn’t just for crisis, it’s for maintenance and growth.Your self-worth can’t be tied to material possessions or public perception.Criticism often says more about the other person’s insecurities than about you.Fitness, routine, and self-care aren’t just physical – they’re powerful mental health strategies.Vulnerability is strength, and sharing your story can give others permission to speak up.Links to Johnny:https://www.instagram.com/johnny_starr/https://www.instagram.com/teamneverhome/Join the ConversationHow do you protect your self-worth when criticism or comparison hits?We’d love to hear your thoughts – send us a DM, an email or leave us a voicemail.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewWhy is it that when a woman shows depth, honesty, and emotional range, she’s so often called “complicated”? And why does it rarely sound like a compliment?In this Sanity Check, we unpack the difference between being complicated and being complex. One implies chaos that needs fixing; the other speaks to richness, nuance, and a life deeply lived. We share personal stories of times we’ve been given the label, explore why it’s often used as a deflection (especially in dating and relationships), and talk about the quiet power of refusing to water yourself down.This is a conversation for anyone who’s ever felt “too much”.Key Discussion PointsComplicated vs. Complex – why the two words feel so different, and how switching them can shift your perspective.How the “complicated” label is often used to avoid emotional intimacy or vulnerability.The link between emotional depth, lived experience, and midlife complexity.Why some people retreat from deep connection and why that’s not about you.How to stop shrinking yourself to be more “digestible” in relationships.Listener TakeawaysYour emotional depth is not a flaw - it’s your richness.If someone calls you “complicated,” it often says more about their limitations than your worth.You cannot make the wrong move with the right person.Check in with yourself: am I being complicated, or am I being complex? There's a difference.The right people will meet you where you’re at; you don’t need to twist yourself to fit.Join the ConversationHave you ever been told you’re “complicated”? How did it make you feel? We’d love to hear your thoughts. Send us a DM or join the discussion in our community spaces. And don’t forget to share this episode with someone who needs to hear it!Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewThis week, we’re lifting the lid on one of life’s everyday divides: the messy vs tidy debate. But we’re not here to hand out gold stars for perfect homes or shame anyone for clutter. Instead, we’re exploring what lies beneath our habits: how our upbringing, nervous systems, and life stages shape the way we live in our spaces.From coat hanger standoffs to emotional wiring, we share our completely opposite approaches to order (and chaos), the judgments we’ve faced, and the surprising science behind mess and creativity. Whether you’re the “everything in its place” type or someone who can happily ignore a pile on the stairs, this episode is all about understanding (and accepting) the way you’re built.Key Discussion PointsOpposite ends of the spectrum: Aileen’s comfort with chaos vs Julie’s need for order.Nervous system clues: Why some of us find calm in clutter and others feel anxious until everything is put away.Childhood influence: How emotional temperature at home can shape our relationship with tidiness.The science bit: Studies linking clutter to creativity, risk-taking, and even cortisol levels.Listener TakeawaysBeing tidy doesn’t make you “better,” and being messy doesn’t mean you don’t care - it’s often about how you regulate and what feels safe.Your space can reflect your internal state, but it can also influence it.Talk openly if you live with your opposite - it’s about understanding, not winning.Give yourself permission to keep your home in a way that works for your stage of life and nervous system.LinksWe refer again to Lauren from Perfect Home Organisation - Aileen got her in to her home and Lauren was amazing! 👉Follow Lauren at @perfectspacehomeorganisation👉Check out her Amazon shop + WhatsApp community  via her website:https://www.perfectspacehomeorganisation.com/Join the ConversationWhere do you sit on the messy–tidy spectrum? Do you thrive in chaos or only relax in order? We’d love to hear how you navigate differences in your household. Drop us a DM or voice note and let us know.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewEver had someone offer you a “favour” that felt more like a clever way to get what they wanted? In this week’s Sanity Check, we unpack those interactions that seem generous on the surface but leave you feeling off - and possibly manipulated.We get honest about how people sometimes frame their own needs as if they’re doing you a kindness… and how easy it is to fall into the habit of saying thank you, even when you’re the one doing the heavy lifting.This episode is a little slice of catharsis if you’ve ever:– Felt guilted into saying yes– Gone along with someone’s plan out of politeness– Swallowed your frustration to “keep the peace”We're naming the pattern, ditching the people-pleasing, and reminding you: It’s okay to say no. You’re not mean. You’re not selfish. You’re just finally setting the record straight.Listener Takeaway:If you’ve ever walked away from a situation thinking, Hang on, I didn’t even want to do that, you’re not alone. This is your permission slip to stop over-apologising, stop over-thanking, and stop twisting yourself into a pretzel to accommodate someone else’s plan. You’re allowed to pause, say no, and name what’s really going on. Join the Conversation:We love hearing from you. Drop us a DM or a voice note with your story—have you had one of these “favour that wasn’t a favour” moments? What did you do?And please share this episode with someone who might need to hear they’re not alone.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:In this episode, we sit down with the unstoppable Jen Hardy - host of The Fabulous Over 50 Podcast, The Jen Hardy Show on YouTube, and creator of the 50 Over 50 Podcaster Awards. We first met Jen at The Podcast Show in London, and were immediately drawn to her energy, her sparkle (literally), and her mission to celebrate midlife women who are finding their voice - and using it.Jen shares her powerful journey: from raising seven children across four decades and battling chronic illness, to reinventing herself through podcasting and embracing a new, more unapologetic version of herself. We explore how midlife can be a portal to confidence, bold boundaries, and self-acceptance - and why women over 50 are no longer asking for permission.Key Discussion Points:Why Jen left behind her chronic illness-focused podcast to start Fabulous Over 50What really changes for women after 50 and why it’s not all badHow hormones like oxytocin shape our identity and priorities through life stagesThe rising power of midlife women (and why so many are divorcing in their 50s)How appearance still shapes visibility - and what Jen discovered after changing hersThe strength in boundaries, self-preservation, and finally saying “no”Listener Takeaways:Midlife isn’t a decline, it’s an awakeningYou’re allowed to change your story (and your outfit) at any ageBoundaries aren’t selfish, they’re sacredConfidence doesn’t always arrive on time, but it always shows up if you let itSometimes, glitter is a power move 💫Where to find Jen Hardy:https://jenhardy.net/https://www.youtube.com/@thejenhardyhttps://www.instagram.com/thejenhardy/ Join the Conversation:What did this episode spark for you?We’d love to hear your story—your midlife moment, your boundary breakthrough, or just how you’re learning to embrace this chapter.Drop us a DM, leave a voice note, or share this with someone who needs to hear it.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Fabulous Over 50? What If You’re Not Feeling It Yet?In this week’s Sanity Check, we’re talking about something that doesn’t get said enough: what if midlife isn’t fabulous just yet?We dive into the glossy headlines about women thriving over 50 and unpack what it really feels like behind the scenes - from underactive thyroids and solo parenting to post-brain-fog clarity and Red Bull confessions.Aileen shares how she’s doing everything “in reverse” - thriving in her 40s, now dealing with inflammation, fatigue, and the reality of perimenopause in her 50s. Julie reflects on finding energy and confidence again (finally!) after a decade-long fog lifted in her late 40s.Together, we explore:Why “fabulous” looks different for every womanThe invisible timeline pressure of ageingHow our life stage, health, hormones, and circumstances shape how we feelAnd why your best decade might still be ahead of you (hello, sensational 60s!)Takeaway: There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to ageing well. You’re not failing if you’re not feeling it right now. Your chapter might be different — and that’s more than okay. Join the conversation:Have you hit your stride yet, or are you still waiting for your fabulous to arrive? Drop us a DM or voice note — we’d love to hear your story.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:In this episode, we speak with broadcast journalist Ania Lichtarowicz - Managing Director of Somewhere on Earth Productions and former producer of BBC’s Digital Planet. Ania breaks down the alarming rise of AI-generated deepfake pornography - how it works, who’s being targeted, and what we all need to understand to protect ourselves and our children in an increasingly digital world.This isn't just about celebrities. People with under 10,000 followers are being exploited through these technologies. As mums of teenagers ourselves, this hit close to home.Key Discussion Points:What exactly is a deepfake? Why women are disproportionately targeted, and how social media makes us vulnerable.The risks for kids and teens.Steps parents and teens can take today to stay safer onlineListener Takeaways:You don’t need to be famous to be affected. Talk to your kids about digital consent and teach them to be cautious about what they post.There are tools that can help - see the below e-book link.Being digitally savvy is part of being safe - that starts with awareness, not fear.Download our E-Book for Parents, The Deep Fake Survival Guide: https://stan.store/YouKeepMeSane/YouKeepMeSane_store/page/3381269 Links To Ania and her work at Somewhere On Earth Productions:https://www.linkedin.com/in/anialichtarowicz/https://www.instagram.com/soeptech/Join the Conversation:We’d love to hear your thoughts, questions, or personal experiences around AI, digital safety, or parenting in the age of tech. Send us a DM or a voice note!Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:In this week’s Sanity Check, Julie shares a hilarious (and maddeningly relatable) story about a coat hanger left in the hallway - for four days. No one else in the house noticed it. Or did they?From coat hangers to mugs, to stairs stacked with “to-be-taken-up” items, we unpack the domestic phenomenon where women seem to carry the invisible job of noticing and picking things up. Is it biology? Conditioning? Or just... the dreaded mental load?We reflect on how women often scan the home for what needs doing, while others just walk past it. If you’ve ever run your own coat hanger experiment or feel like the only one holding the household together - this one’s for you.Key Discussion Points:Julie’s hallway “coat hanger test” and what it revealedWhy so many women carry a hyper-awareness of household messThe role of mental load and who’s been conditioned to carry itIs it that they really can’t see it… or that they just don’t care?Why kids and partners might not be scanning like we doAileen’s theory on how we’ve trained others not to noticeListener Takeaways:You’re not imagining it - many women are the default “noticers” of domestic clutter.Mental load isn’t just about doing the tasks - it starts with seeing what needs doing.We often train the people around us (without meaning to) to expect us to clean up.If you feel like the only one seeing the mess, you’re not alone and it’s okay to change the pattern.Join the Conversation:Does this happen in your house too?Do you think they genuinely don’t see it or just don’t care?Drop us a message or DM - we want to know we’re not losing it (or at least, we’re all losing it together!).Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:If you're parenting a 12-year-old (or about to), this one’s for you.We talk about the moment your sweet kid suddenly starts rolling their eyes, refusing hugs, demanding independence - and testing every nerve you have. We share real stories from our own homes, laugh through the chaos, and get honest about how hard this transition can feel.But underneath the attitude and inconsistency is a powerful truth: your child’s brain is under construction, their emotions are big, and you are still their safe place - even when they act like they can’t stand you.This episode is a mix of neuroscience, nostalgia, and no-filter parenting. You’re not imagining the shift and you’re not alone in finding it hard.Key Discussion Points:What’s really going on in a 12-year-old’s brain and why their behaviour feels so inconsistentHow pushback is actually a (messy) form of connection and growthThe importance of small connection moments over forced big talksHow to model emotional regulation (even when you want to scream)Why grief is a real part of watching your child pull away and how to process itListener Takeaways:You’re not failing, your child is becoming.Connection doesn’t always look like closeness.The tone might sting, but it’s not personal, it’s developmental.Let them push, but you don’t need to push back.Laugh, pause, model calm, and remember: this is a season.📣 Join the Conversation:Are you in the thick of the tween phase too?What’s been the most surprising thing about parenting a 12-year-old?Leave us a voice note or drop us a DM - we’d love to share this journey with you.And if you found this helpful, please send it to a fellow parent who might need the reminder: you’re not alone.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/joinLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:In this Sanity Check, we get real about our lifelong struggles with body image - and how they’ve evolved (or stayed stuck) as we've entered midlife. From tying jumpers around our waists in our 20s to feeling unrecognisable in our 40s, we share the quiet grief, relentless inner voice, and conditioning so many women carry.But this isn't just about venting. It's about shifting.We talk through the small but powerful mindset resets we’ve started using to build a kinder relationship with our bodies - ones that focus less on “fixing” and more on tending. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve spent your whole life at war with your body, this one’s for you.Key Discussion Points:Why we never felt good in our bodies - even when we “looked good”The disorienting shift that comes with midlife body changesHow cultural conditioning trains us to feel like we’re never enoughWhat we’re learning from our body confidence resetNoticing the inner critic - especially when it’s subtle or subconsciousWhy confidence doesn’t come after weight loss or changeWhat it really means to be in relationship with your bodyListener Takeaways:Your body is not a problem to be fixed, it’s a home to care for.Confidence comes from how you show up for yourself, not from your reflection.You don’t have to love every inch to stop the war, just stop the criticism.Feeling “uncomfortable in your own skin” isn’t a flaw - it’s a byproduct of years of pressure and programming.You’re not broken. You’re just tired from trying to meet a standard that was never made for you.Join the Conversation:If this episode stirred something in you, we'd love to hear about it.Leave us a DM or share this episode with someone who needs to feel less alone in their body journey.And if today, all you do is soften your inner voice or pick an outfit that feels good, that’s a win. We’re walking this with you.Download our FREE e-Book for a Body Image Reset: https://stan.store/YouKeepMeSane/p/download-the-midlife-body-confidence-ebook-nowLinks:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewWhat begins as a chat about fitness quickly turns into something deeper. In this episode, we sit down with Cara Metz, founder of Cara Fitness, to explore not just the shifting demands of midlife bodies, but also the invisible weight of grief, the power of real community, and what it takes to stay connected to yourself when life feels hard.Cara opens up about losing her beloved cat Missy, recovering from spinal surgery, and navigating perimenopause in a culture that still doesn't talk about it enough. She also shares her personal journey with body image, diet culture, and how she finally gave herself permission to rest (even though she’s still not very good at it!).If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your body - or from yourself - this conversation is a reminder that healing is possible, and connection changes everything.Key Discussion PointsWhat Cara had to unlearn about food, fitness, and rest in her 40sCara’s spinal surgery recovery and the mental strength it requiredWhy real community made all the difference through her hardest timesHow body image issues linger even after growth - and how she reframes themThe role of vulnerability and being “makeup-free” in her online presenceWhy meditation, breathwork and self-talk have changed her inner worldListener TakeawaysYou don’t have to be perfect to be powerful - being real is enoughStrength isn’t just physical; it’s emotional, mental, and communalMidlife is not a crisis, it’s a recalibrationRest might not come naturally, but it’s essential (and brave)Body image isn’t a one-time fix - it’s a daily practice in self-compassionConnection, especially online, can be life-savingConnect with Cara Metz:On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carametz_/ Via her Cara Fitness App: https://carafitness.co.uk/pages/cara-fitness-appCara's Other Links and Courses: https://linktr.ee/carafitness?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=0e5079cb-fd47-4ce2-901c-087bd9768454Join the ConversationHas your relationship with your body or health changed in midlife? What helps you feel connected to yourself when things get hard?We’d love to hear your story—send us a DM or leave us a voice message.Join Us for More on Patreon!Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!Join Us via this link:https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first monthIf you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview:This week, we hit that point where the mental tabs were maxed out - and it wasn’t about the big stuff. It was the what’s for dinner, the laundry, what vitamins to give the kids, the endless little choices that chip away at your sanity. We talk about decision fatigue and how it creeps in when your brain just can’t carry any more. From turtles to t-shirts, it’s not always the weight of the decision, it’s the volume.Key Discussion Points:What decision fatigue really looks and feels likeWhy the small, daily decisions are sometimes the hardestHow perimenopause, parenting and running a household or business add to the mental loadLetting go of guilt when your brain says “enough”How to pause, hand over decisions, or just leave them for tomorrowListener Takeaways:You’re not broken if you can’t face the laundry pile or another meal planIt’s okay to not decide - sometimes that is the decisionMental rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessityJoin the Conversation:Have you felt this kind of decision fatigue lately? Tell us what tipped you over - was it the washing, the vitamins, the inbox? Drop us a DM or voice message. We love hearing your stories and sharing this space with you.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode OverviewThis week’s episode was sparked by a thoughtful voice note from a listener who asked a powerful question: Where does ambition fit into self-worth?In a culture that often ties success to external achievements, it’s easy to get caught in the trap of proving your value through accolades, productivity, or recognition. But can ambition and self-worth actually coexist in a healthy way? We believe they can and should.In this conversation, we unpack what healthy ambition looks like, why striving isn’t the enemy of self-worth, and how our relationship with aspiration changes in midlife. From personal stories of burnout and people-pleasing to parenting conversations and redefining success, this episode is a warm reminder that it’s okay to want more - as long as it comes from the right place.Key Discussion PointsThe difference between striving for growth and chasing validation.How societal expectations shaped our early views on success.The role of internal vs external drivers: joy, shame, survival, recognition.Why it’s okay to not know what you want yet and how curiosity can be a guide.Midlife aspirations, evolving ambitions, and creating your own blueprint.Listener TakeawaysAmbition isn’t the enemy of self-worth - but when it’s rooted in fear, shame, or comparison, it can derail your wellbeing.Ask yourself: Are your goals coming from expansion or escape?Striving is natural - but when it’s value-led and purpose-driven, it adds vitality to your life, not burnout.Success isn’t what you have, it’s how it feels.Are you living by your own blueprint or someone else's?Join the ConversationTell us how your relationship with ambition has changed over time.💬 DM us🎤 Leave a voice note📣 Share this with a friend who might be doubting their dreams.Let’s keep the conversation going, because ambition, rest, and self-worth can all coexist. You’re allowed to want more and still be enough, right now.Links:Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod  Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePodEmail us at  [email protected] to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie FahySee https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy informationDisclaimer: Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.