Not Your Old Uncle

33岁那年，你会做什么？对于凯（Kyle Neo）来说，那是他确诊癌症第3期的那一年。 嘉宾 Guest: Kyle Neo, RainBodhi 创办人、设计师、抗癌勇士 面对生命中突如其来的巨变，凯选择不带伤悲给人，而是用幽默和佛学智慧去应对。 从12年前的化疗到如今因后遗症导致9个月无法进食、必须依靠胃造瘘管（PEG tube）维持生命，他依然能笑着说：“化疗掉毛让我省下脱毛费！” 本集精彩重点： - 33岁确诊癌症第3期：从自我怜悯到“担心也无用”的转念过程。 - 9个月没吃饭的人生：解析胃造瘘管者的真实生活挑战。 - 亲情最大的遗憾：为什么他在父亲临终前整年不敢回家见面？ - 关心的混乱 (Concern-fusion)：为什么家属的“好意”有时会变成病人的负担。 - 死亡的意义：如果明天就是终点，如何活到问心无愧、没有牵挂？ ► 联络嘉宾 (CONNECT WITH KYLE) - Website: kyleneo.com - Books: dharmakueen.com/my-books/ - Email: [email protected] - Rainbodhi: rainbodhisg.com ► 资源与支持 (RESOURCES) - 新加坡癌症协会 (SCS): 6661 0500 | www.singaporecancersociety.org.sg - Oogachaga (LGBTQ+ Support): 6224 9377 | www.oogachaga.com ► 关注《不是老 UNCLE》 Telegram: @NotYourOldUncle Youtube: @NotYourOldUncle ►关于我们的播客 《不是老 Uncle》是一档专为新加坡及东南亚地区、富有好奇心的成年人（40岁以上）打造的播客。我们以现代见解探讨生活、职业和健康的新准则——而非传统的“Uncle”说教。 英文主持（不定期推出中文集数）。 提供中英文字幕。 / Subtitles available in English and Chinese. 🛑 免责声明: 《不是老Uncle》播客嘉宾所发表的观点、意见及陈述仅代表其个人立场，并不一定代表 Authentic Legacy Media 的官方立场或政策。本节目内容仅供参考，不应视为替代专业医疗建议、诊断或治疗。 *特别提示：嘉宾关于胃造瘘管进食和抗癌康复的经验属个人经历。如有任何医疗状况或饮食调整的疑问，请务必咨询您的医生或其他合格健康服务提供者。* 📌 Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction 00:12 - 身体近况 & 肌肉退化挑战 01:48 - 揭秘胃造瘘管者的真实生活 03:18 - 33岁确诊：我如何保持冷静 05:51 - 转念：担心也无法解决问题 07:01 - 亲情遗憾：不敢回家的内疚 08:24 - 幽默抗癌：化疗省下脱毛费 08:43 - 患癌后的事业：保险与自雇 10:58 - 创作初衷：与肿瘤对话的博客 12:31 - 转移注意力：工作也是种抒发 13:51 - 关心的混乱：别让好意添乱 15:53 - 陪伴 & 给病患日常的空间 16:29 - 佛学智慧：如何活得不后悔 19:35 - 写作修行：领悟人生的过程 22:30 - 未来展望：留给世界的文字 23:34 - 每日使命：让世界多一点微笑 #NotYourOldUncle #抗癌勇士 #生命教育 #新加坡播客 #CancerSurvivor #生命韧性 -- Hosting provided by SoundOn

佛教真的排斥 LGBTQ+ 群体吗？还是这只是传统文化的误解？在本期节目中，我们邀请了 RainBodhi 创办人 Kyle Neo，分享他如何从一名迷茫的少年，经历好友背叛、短期出家，最终在佛法中找到与自己身份和解的答案。 嘉宾：Kyle Neo, RainBodhi 创办人 | 作家 本集精彩重点： - 走出背叛：当好友伤害你时，如何运用佛法转念？ - 达赖喇嘛的启发：一段奇妙的印度之旅如何改变人生。 - 区分文化与信仰：佛教经典里真的有其实同性恋吗？ - 什么是 RainBodhi？为 LGBTQ+ 佛教徒建立的安全空间。 - 万物连接：为什么你的性取向不影响你的“佛性”？ 如果您或您身边的人在心理健康或身份认同方面需要支持，请参考下方的求助资源。 ► 关于《Good Questions, Good Answers》(节目提及) https://www.goodquestiongoodanswer.net/ ► 关注《不是老 UNCLE》 Telegram: @NotYourOldUncle Youtube: @NotYourOldUncle ►关于我们的播客 《不是老 Uncle》是一档专为新加坡及东南亚地区、富有好奇心的成年人（40岁以上）打造的播客。我们以现代见解探讨生活、职业和健康的新准则——而非传统的“Uncle”说教。 英文主持（不定期推出中文集数）。 提供中英文字幕。 / Subtitles available in English and Chinese. 🛑 免责声明: 《不是老Uncle》播客嘉宾所发表的观点、意见及陈述仅代表其个人立场，并不一定代表 Authentic Legacy Media 的官方立场或政策。本节目内容仅供参考，不应视为替代专业建议。如有个人具体问题，请寻求专业协助。 ► 新加坡求助热线 (HELPLINES) Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1-767 (24小时热线) Oogachaga (LGBTQ+ 辅导与支持): 6224 9377 | www.oogachaga.com The T Project (跨性别者支持): www.thetprojectsg.org 📌 时间轴 00:00 - 开场介绍 00:46 - 15岁初次接触佛学：《好问题 好答案》 02:50 - 遭遇好友背叛与心理转折 04:45 - 泰国短期出家：为父亲积功德 07:25 - 印度奇遇：与达赖喇嘛的缘分 10:50 - 为什么创立 RainBodhi？ 11:45 - 佛教是否排斥同性恋？(文化 vs 信仰) 13:10 - 佛法中的“连接性”与平等心 16:20 - RainBodhi 的活动与跨宗教交流 20:40 - 下集预告：癌症康复与其带来的启示 #NotYourOldUncle #不是老Uncle #新加坡播客 #KyleNeo #RainBodhi #佛教与同志 #心理韧性 #自我接纳 #LGBTQsg -- Hosting provided by SoundOn

这是一集关于接纳、和解与勇气的深度对话。 身为新加坡 LGBTQ 佛教组织 Rainbodhi 的创办人，Kyle Neo (凯尔) 的人生剧本并不容易。从小因为气质阴柔在学校遭受霸凌，到成年后在寻求宗教出版时被指责“同性恋是前世因果不好”，他一路走来面对了无数的误解与歧视。 现年 45 岁且从未谈过恋爱的他，是如何在孤独中找到内心的平静？当宗教教义被用来作为攻击的武器时，他又是如何用“佛性”来化解对立？本集《Not Your Old Uncle》，我们不谈大道理，只听一个真实的新加坡故事。 嘉宾：Kyle Neo (凯尔)，Rainbodhi 新加坡创办人 本集精彩看点 (Key Takeaways)： - 45岁“母胎单身”的真实心声：是选择还是无奈？ - 面对“你现在是 Gay 是因为前世因果不好”的指责，该如何智慧回击？ - 校园霸凌的回忆：当被嘲笑“娘”时，如何用才华（唱歌）赢回尊严。 - 佛学视角：为什么说同志也有“佛性”？打破宗教刻板印象。 - 母亲的智慧：学会“忍”不是懦弱，而是为了让自己睡得安稳。 ► LGBTQ+ 资源与支援 (LGBTQ+ SUPPORT) Rainbodhi (LGBTQ Buddhist Social Group): www.instagram.com/rainbodhisg Oogachaga (Counselling & Support): 6224 9377 | www.oogachaga.com The T Project (Transgender Support): www.thetprojectsg.org 🛑 免责声明: 《不是老Uncle》播客嘉宾所发表的观点、意见及陈述仅代表其个人立场，并不一定代表 Authentic Legacy Media 的官方立场或政策。本节目内容仅供参考，不应视为替代专业建议。如有个人具体问题，请寻求专业协助。 ► 联系《不是老Uncle》 Telegram　群组：@NotYourOldUncle Youtube: @NotYourOldUncle 📌 Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction 03:31 - 直觉一直都在：从小就知道自己不一样？ 06:30 - 母亲的智慧：学会“忍”是为了睡得安稳 07:45 - 传统父亲的距离感与无言的的排斥 09:27 - 那些年没有手机的暧昧与心碎 (Joseph 的故事) 13:20 - 45岁从未谈过恋爱：心结还是缘分未到？ 13:50 - 第一次向家人出柜：妹妹的反应 15:35 - 校园生存法则：用唱歌才华盖过“娘”的标签 19:50 - 遭遇宗教歧视：被指责“前世因果不好” 21:40 - 佛性与性取向：同志也能成佛吗？ 23:00 - 面对霸凌：与其报复，不如爱自己 #NotYourOldUncle #不是老Uncle #KyleNeo #LGBTQSingapore #新加坡播客 #同性恋与佛教 -- Hosting provided by SoundOn

Sexual grooming is often an ambiguous space that starts with attention, "love-like" relationships, or even a professional massage that feels just a little "off". But for parents, spotting the difference between a caring coach and a predator is incredibly difficult. In this episode, we are joined by Bernard Mackenzie, Manager at the NIE Wellness Centre, to discuss the uncomfortable realities of child abuse, sexual grooming, and the hidden psychology behind teenage self-harm. We move beyond the headlines (like the Ian Fang case) to understand what actually constitutes abuse and why traditional "tough love" might be masking a bigger problem. Guest: Bernard Mackenzie, Manager, NIE Wellness Centre KEY TOPICS: - What is sexual grooming? Understanding the "ambiguous space" in student-coach relationships. - The "Ian Fang" case: How grooming often begins with attention and digital communication. - The Red Flags: Why a sudden change in dressing (covering up OR revealing more) can be a sign of abuse. - Understanding Self-Harm: Why cutting is often "cathartic" for teens rather than just attention-seeking. - The Protocol: Steps to take if you suspect your child is being groomed or abused. ► NIE WELLNESS CENTRE RESOURCES If you need support or wish to connect with the centre: www.ntu.edu.sg/nie/about-us/campus-facilities/nie-wellness-centre 6790 3318 | [email protected] ► GET HELP IN SINGAPORE (ABUSE & FAMILY VIOLENCE) National Anti-Violence Hotline (NAVH): 1800-777-0000 (24/7) NAVH Reporting: www.msf.gov.sg/what-we-do/break-the-silence Find your nearest Family Service Centre (FSC): www.msf.gov.sg/our-services/directories ► GET HELP IN SINGAPORE (MENTAL HEALTH) Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1-767 (Hotline) | 9151 1767 (WhatsApp) | www.sos.org.sg Institute of Mental Health (IMH): 6389 2222 | www.imh.com.sg ► CONNECT WITH NOT YOUR OLD UNCLE Telegram: @NotYourOldUncle Youtube: @NotYourOldUncle ► ABOUT OUR PODCAST 'Not Your Old Uncle' is a podcast for curious adults (40+) in Singapore and Southeast Asia. We tackle the new rules of life, career, finance, and health with modern insights—not outdated "uncle" wisdom. Hosted in English (with occasional Chinese episodes). Subtitles available in English and Chinese. / 提供中英文字幕. 🛑 DISCLAIMER: The views, opinions, and statements expressed by guests on 'Not Your Old Uncle' Podcast are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Authentic Legacy Media. This discussion is for general information only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek professional help for individual concerns. 📌 Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction 00:00:51 - Ian Fang & Sexual Grooming 00:02:10 - The "Ambiguous Space" in Coaching 00:04:47 - Story: The "Nice Coach" Predator 00:06:42 - Reporting Abuse to Schools 00:08:22 - Behavioral Signs of Abuse 00:10:15 - Sudden Changes in Dressing 00:11:22 - Understanding Self-Harm & Parasuicide 00:12:45 - Why Teens Actually Cut Themselves 00:14:25 - Dangerous Cutting Patterns 00:15:50 - Vaping as an Emotional Escape 00:17:16 - Case Study: Preventing Abuse at Home #NotYourOldUncle #ChildAbuseAwareness #MentalHealthSG #Parenting #Singapore -- Hosting provided by SoundOn

In this critical episode of Not Your Old Uncle, we tackle the difficult subject of child abuse in Singapore. When you suspect a child is a victim, it's hard to know what to do. As a neighbour, friend, or community member, what is your role? And who can you call for help? 🎙️ Guest: Bernard Mackenzie, Manager at NIE Wellness Centre Singapore, joins Alvin for a clear and vital conversation on: - The different forms of abuse beyond physical: verbal, sexual, and neglect. - Why "old school discipline" (like caning in the 70s) is now understood as abuse. - How to spot the hidden signs that a child may be a victim (e.g., fear, physical marks). - Why the community and neighbours often stay silent (and why they shouldn't). - Practical, actionable steps on what to do and who to call for help in Singapore. If you are a parent, educator, or concerned member of the community in Singapore, this episode provides crucial, clear-headed suggestions on a topic that is too often misunderstood. 🔔 Subscribe for more midlife conversations on parenting, relationships, wellness, and personal growth. --- 🛑 DISCLAIMER: The views, opinions, and statements expressed by guests on 'Not Your Old Uncle' Podcast are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Authentic Legacy Media. 🧠 Special Note: This episode was recorded on 29 May 2025 before the Megan Khung Independent Review. This discussion is for general information only and is not a substitute for personal counselling or mental health advice. Please seek professional help for individual concerns. --- ► GET HELP IN SINGAPORE If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or needs support, please reach out. 📞 National Anti-Violence Hotline (NAVH): 1800-777-0000 (24/7) 💻 NAVH Website: www.msf.gov.sg/what-we-do/break-the-silence/ 🌐 Find your nearest Family Service Centre (FSC): www.msf.gov.sg/our-services/directories ► GUEST & HOST 📩 Learn more about NIE Wellness Centre counselling support: https://www.ntu.edu.sg/nie/about-us/campus-facilities/nie-wellness-centre ► ABOUT NOT YOUR OLD UNCLE 'Not Your Old Uncle' is a podcast for curious adults (40+) in Singapore and Southeast Asia. We tackle the new rules of life, career, and health with modern insights—not outdated "uncle" advice. Hosted in English (with occasional Chinese episodes). Subtitles available in English and Chinese. / 提供中英文字幕。 📌 Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction 00:36 - What Is Child Abuse? 05:00 - The Bystander Problem 06:04 - Spotting the Signs of Abuse 08:46 - "Old School Discipline" vs. Abuse 11:48 - Why Victims Stay Silent 12:38 - Educating Parents 17:47 - What is Neglect? 19:24 - "Return on Investment" Parents 20:51 - How to Help a Victim 23:48 - Who to Call: MSF & Anti-Violence Hotline #NotYourOldUncle #ChildAbuseAwareness #Singapore #ParentingAdvice #MSF -- Hosting provided by SoundOn

In this follow-up episode of Not Your Old Uncle, we turn the spotlight on parents of bullying victims — exploring the emotional impact, long-term consequences, and how to guide your child toward healing. 🎙️ Guest: Bernard Mackenzie, Manager at NIE Wellness Centre Singapore, joins Alvin for an open and practical conversation on: - How to spot hidden signs your child is being bullied - Building trust so your child feels safe to share - Why some bullies were once victims themselves - Restorative justice — what it is and when it works - The role of schools, parents, and the community in prevention If you’re a parent, educator, or simply want to understand the realities of bullying in Singapore, this episode is filled with strategies, empathy, and relatable stories. 🔔 Subscribe for more midlife conversations on parenting, relationships, wellness, and personal growth. 🧠 Note: This podcast episode is not sponsored by NIE Wellness Centre. Opinions are solely those of the speakers. This discussion is for general information only and is not a substitute for personal counselling or mental health advice. Please seek professional help for individual concerns. 📩 Learn more about NIE Wellness Centre counselling support: https://www.ntu.edu.sg/nie/about-us/campus-facilities/nie-wellness-centre 📌 Timestamps 00:00 – Introduction & episode setup 00:30 – Why this episode matters for parents of victims 00:42 – Bernard’s school-bus bullying story 02:17 – The “just ignore it” myth & bystander problem 03:26 – Parents reinforcing long-term victim mentality 06:36 – Parents’ WhatsApp group conflicts 08:40 – Restorative justice explained 12:27 – Who should parents approach for help 15:05 – Telltale signs of bullying 16:14 - Know your child more holistically 18:09 - What to do if your child doesn't talk to you 21:28 – Other signs of bullying: Eating 22:11 - Anger: The secondary emotion -- Hosting provided by SoundOn

Welcome to the "Not Your Old Uncle!" podcast, where we redefine what it means to be an adult after 40. In this debut episode, we dive into a tough but necessary conversation: bullying. 🎙️ Guest: Bernard Mackenzie, Manager at NIE Wellness Centre Singapore, joins your host Alvin for an honest discussion on: Why bullying was once seen as a “rite of passage” The psychological toll on victims How bullies are often former victims themselves The silent but powerful role of bystanders Practical strategies for parents to build trust and open communication The “Inverted Triangle” model of parenting teens Whether you’re a parent, educator, or reflecting on your own experiences, this episode offers insight, empathy, and just the right amount of humor. Disclaimer: All opinions expressed are those of the speakers. This discussion is intended for general information only and should not be taken as personal counseling or mental health advice. Please consult a qualified professional for support specific to your situation. Learn more about NIE Wellness Centre counselling support: https://www.ntu.edu.sg/nie/about-us/campus-facilities/nie-wellness-centre Remember to subscribe to our podcast and leave a review to help us reach more people! -- Hosting provided by SoundOn