The Break-up Whisperer

Today my guest is Kenna Williams, a renowned world traveler who hails from Oxnard, CA by way of Memphis, TN. She is a dynamic 40 year old professional woman who works as an Aerospace Engineer in the Defense industry and she is the creator of the famous hashtag #BookDatIsht which simply means to book flights immediately without questioning anything!Friends call her Pusha Kee for her incredible ability to gently encourage individuals to step out of their comfort zone and push life to the edge. She's known in travel circles for her infamous #DubaiBlackOut trips and her upcoming group trip to South Africa. She is constantly manifesting her dreams and uses the term #YearOfYesManifest to get what she wants out of life.Her manifesting life began in 2015 when she was tired of getting nothing in return until she learned how to hone in and become more focused on what she truly wanted. She faithfully lives, breathes, and eats the MANIFEST LIFE, as she calls it. One of her mottos in regards to her manifest is "It is so because I said so!"  I came to know Kenna via her Facebook page where she is creating a quiet yet powerful revolution in the way that her friends and followers find love. Listen as she explains what she means by living "The Manifest Life" and shares inspiring success stories that keep me coming back to her page. Stay tuned to her instagram for her upcoming website release!Contact info:Instagram: @JustMeKenna @BookDatIsht Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kenna.williams.52Our music comes to us from Purple Planet Music. www.http://purple-planet.com

Today I welcome two very special guests to the show: Verah Mthombeni and Jonathan Mthombeni. She is a retired nurse practitioner, he is a retired pediatrician, and they just happen to be my Mom and Dad. Dad is also an ordained minister and together he and my mom have counseled quite a number of couples about their relationships. Today is Fathers’ day and it also happens to be my mom’s birthday. I feel very fortunate that I can honor them both by inviting them onto the show to share their wisdom about breakups and to talk about a very special project that they have founded and manage in South Africa, where they go each year to escape the Southern California winter.Music by Purple Planet Music. http://www.purple-planet.com

Breaking up with someone else can be challenging enough but what happens when the unhealthy relationship is with yourself? Today my guest is Amoreena Wade, a talented actress, outspoken survivor of sexual violence, and a victim advocate. The violence of sexual assault does not end with the event itself. In the aftermath, survivors are often tormented by guilt, shame, blame, and fear, and find that they can be their own harshest critics and worst detractors. Join us to hear Amoreena's story and to learn how she has navigated the difficult journey of breaking up with the burdens of emotional trauma and nurturing a healthy relationship with herself.   

The convention about breakups is that they happen when communication and cooperation have broken down so much that being in the relationship is worse than not being in the relationship. There is blame, anger, acrimony, heartache, regret. In fact, the prospect of going through all that drives many people to remain in unhappy relationships. Can there be contentment, appreciation, understanding, even joy?Join me and my guest, Dr. Dian Killian as we explore how Non-Violent Communication can transform your breakup experience. Dian is a Trainer, Coach, and Consultant at Work Collaborativey, LLC, a certified trainer in Non Violent Communication, a certified life coach, and co-author of the books Connecting Across Differences: How to Connect with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere and Urban Empathy: True Life Adventures of Compassion on the Streets of New York.Music: http://www.purple-planet.com

Can changing where you live improve your breakup experience? Often breaking up means finding a new place to live and finding a good new home is usually about finding a location based on property values. But what about the values of your heart?Anderson St. James is an Atlanta-based lifestyle realtor who takes a mindful approach to helping his clients find their new homes. Listen in to find out how Anderson carefully matches his clients to their new neighborhoods. Learn what steps you can take to improve your breakup experience by choosing a neighborhood that meets your emotional needs. Join us as we explore what it means to move on from a breakup by changing your neighborhood - with intention. Music: http://www.purple-planet.com

Janiele Lewis was born into a family of strong Jamaican women who taught her to value her mind first and develop a rugged attitude in the face of adversities, especially adversities of the heart. She learned to expect betrayal and ignore emotional pain, even when her heart was breaking. Eventually, her body broke down, paralyzing her, and forcing her to face that pain. Through her experience, Janiele came to understand how connected her emotional experiences were to her physical wellbeing.Over time, Janiele has developed a more holistic attitude toward heartbreak and other emotional experiences. She has learned the benfits of releasing that which does not serve her. Join me as Janiele shares what she has discovered on her road to emotial well being along with the self-care practices that she has developed to detoxify the body and the soul. Music: http://www.purple-planet.com

Mom always did know best and we address healthy breakup culture as we celebrate mother wit with certified vegan lifestyle coach and certified plantbased chef, Christine Day. She is mother of four and grandmother of two and she knows a little something about breakups. Join us as we talk about Christine's experiences and what she has learned about breakups, co-parenting, and what she wants her own children to know about how to remain healthy and sane while navigating a breakup. Happy Mother's Day! Music: http://www.purple-planet.com

SANGOMA: The Break Up Whisperer is all about break ups. Not just this episode. The whole show! We'll talk about breaking up from nuts to bolts, from inside and outside, from up and down, we're going to dive into the social, cultural, political, economic, spiritual, and even biological significance of breaking up. During this episode we'll talk in general about why break ups are such a big deal for so many people. Break ups are really common life events that are likely to happen to pretty much everybody so why all the pearl clutching and hand wringing? Why do we talk about break ups in hushed, gossipy tones and judgmental whispers (ooooh, child, you know what he did). Why do celebrity break ups dominate the tabloids and bring in high ratings for reality shows? Why can the end of a private relationship become a public spectical that brings a community to its knees? Join me and my guest, the musician and actor Lex RocHart, as we kick off SANGOMA: The Break Up Whisperer and try to figure out what makes break ups such a big deal. Lex is also my musical guest for the show. Her new EP comes out on August 26, 2017 and you're going to get a sneak preview. Our intro music for this show is called Cool Struttin', brought to us by the folks over at Purple Planet Music. www.purple-planet.com.Join us LIVE on May 7th at 7pmEST. We can't wait to  talk with you!Music: http://www.purple-planet.com

Don't call Evelin Lindner homeless. Yes, she claims no physical address. The world is her home and, as a global citizen, she is forwarding the message that the key to our collective survival lays in equal dignity for all.  Please join us as as Evelin shares the story about how growing up as a displaced person has inspired her perspective on humiliation, equal dignity and being at home in the human collective.

My  guest today is family and divorce mediator Jennifer Safian, founder of Safian Mediation. As a child she felt herself adrift between multiple cultures and languages. She didn't quite fit in anywere. Her  multi-lingual, multi-cultural upbringing, originally a source of discomfort, has become a significant strength which she now shares with her clients. Please join us as we examine mediating in multiple languages and cultures and explore innovations that address the challenges of building a practice in mediation. 

Debra Oliver, founder of Common Ground Mediation Services, truly exemplifies what it means to be at the frontlines of mediation. She comes from a background that the rest of us read about in novels or see in the movies. Born in Hollywood, CA to her own version of Lucy and Ricky Ricardo, she studied at the Julliard School of the Performing Arts, Drama Division then spent time traveling, studying Eastern philosophy and having a family. She also lead a San Francisco theater company and hosted a weekly radio show about consciousness-raising.Debra discovered mediation in 1989 and knew she had found her calling. She handles complex and eventful cases many mediators only dream of - including situations like that portrayed in Robert Redford's film, The Milagro Bean Field War. From mediating with gang membes and police offices to handling explosive divorce cases, her's is an exciting and fulfilling practice.Listen for her story about how a pecan pie restored justice to a terrorized family. This show promises to surprise and inspire you. 

Amy Rebecca Marsico was a theater intern in London when she came to understand just what was going on in Sarajevo during the war.  Her work with refugees has fueled her passion for peace building.  Today she creates documentary theater in order to promote peace and understanding.  Listen to how this small town Ohioan is living her dream of making a difference in the world.

I'm truly delighted to welcome Glenn Dornfeld to SANGOMA.  I forgot his last name when I announced this broadcast on the last episode and I hope to make it up to him!  95 percent of Glenn's work is with divorcing couples, "people whose emotional, financial and family lives [are] fundamentally and radically about to change . . . " as he puts it.  I'm going to talk with Glenn about what brought him to mediation and talk about what it is like to stand with a couple on the brink of that change. Click the link for instructions about how to access the show.

The New York Peace Institute is turning one!  Brad Heckman, NYPI's Chief Executive Officer joins me on SANGOMA today to share the celebration and tell the story of his journey into mediation. It starts with him finagling his way into Poland (his words) and watching Eastern Europe's peaceful transition from Soviet domination after the fall of the Berlin Wall.  Join me as we celebrate the New York Peace Institute and listen to Brad's story.

I am happy to welcome Debra Hamilton to SANGOMA to talk about an area of mediation that is terribly important but often not considered: pet mediation.  Listen to Debra's story about her journey into the field of mediation and how she came to focus on making peace when our furry friends are at the heart of the matter.

Please join me in welcoming Lynne Kinnucan to SANGOMA.  We're going to talk about her journey to mediation and her special focus: Mediating and negotiating in crisis situations. 7:30pm EST.  Call (818) 532-9789 to listen on your phone.  Dial "1" if you would like to comment or ask a question.

Join me as I welcome Lisa Renee Pomerantz to SANGOMA. Her background is full of moves to different parts of the United States and she combines conventional law practice with ADR approaches.  We will  explore how Lisa maneurvers within the intersections in her life.

Join me as I welcome Dian Killian, Ph.D. to SANGOMA.  Dian is  a Certified Trainer with the international Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC), founder and director of The Center for Collaborative Communication and co-author of Connecting Across Differences: A Guide to Compassionate, Nonviolent Communication and author of the graphic novel Urban Empathy.

Listen in as I chat with the award-winning mediator and educator, Lela Love.  We're talking about Stories Mediators Tell, the brand new book she just co-edited, and about her own life story (which includes a stint hitchhiking around Mexico for college credit).  Enjoy!

This week I welcome La-Verna Fountain to SANGOMA. What a story she has! La-Verna learned about love and conflict against the backdrop of the 1960s Civil Rights struggle.  She marched on Washington as a little girl, after Dr. King’s assassination, muddy and courageous but confused and bewildered by the complicated things happening in her tiny Pennsylvania town. In her own home, love and violence twined her family together, and the strength of the women in her family, which contributed to the conflict she experienced, also inspired her passion for fighting injustice. We will talk about how La-Verna came to embrace non-violence and eventually adopted conflict resolution as a path to bringing peace in her own work. Join us at 7:30pm

Adrien Niyongabo is a founder and the coordinator of Healing and Rebuilding Our Communities in Burundi (HROC-Burundi). This Quaker-sponsored grassroots organization facilitates three day workshops for survivers of the civil war in Burundi and genocide in Rwanda.  Join us to hear about this work and about many truly remarkable examples of human dignity, love, and forgiveness that he has witnessed. 7:30pm(EDT).

I am so very excited to welcome Ken Neumann to SANGOMA this week.  Not only because he is such a well known figure in mediation but because I've had the privilege of being one of his students. I plan to talk with Ken about how Family Mediation all started, how the field developed and what he sees as the future of Family Mediation.  And, of course, we will talk about what brought him into the field and why he has stayed. Join us on Thursday night, May 24th at 7:30pm.

Mediators often fill a need that is a combination of legal educator, therapist and priest.  They help their clients address the material costs and emotional impact that their disputes bring. This often means trusting the mediator with the most intimate details of their hopes and dreams, hurts and desires. Eileen Rowley shares how she helps people in dispute to address their struggles, transform their perspectives and get to a better place.  7:30pm(EDT).

What a joy it is to be surprised by a child's wisdom.  Tara Fishler's work training children to be mediators certainly delivers this joy in abundance. I'll be talking with Tara about her life as a mediator and why she chose to work with our youngest dispute resolvers. Her stories will certainly delight your heart.

Mediator and Non-Violent Communication practitioner Marty Epstein shares how his childhood yearning for connection has inspired his practice.

I am so excited to begin my 2012 Season with Story Specialist, writer and performer Pamela Jackson.  She has developed a brilliant approach to reconciling relationships after years of hurt. She created the process out of a desire to reconcile with her own mother - which she and her mother acknowledged would be no easy feat considering the history between them. The process worked. Join us to hear Pamela's story and to learn how storytelling and mediation can be the way that brings healing and peace to your damaged relationships. Visit untangledresolutions.blogspot.com for her website and other contact information.

Selling is the life blood of any business.  Entrepreneurs are especially challenged by the rigors of selling. And yet, without sales, you are not in business. Regular guest Pankaj Amin joins me to talk about what every entrepreneur should know about selling. This is my last regular broadcast for the year.  Look out for a special broadcast from time to time.  I'll be back in January with a brand new format at a brand new time!  I"m so excited about what I've got planned and I'm sure you will love it, too.

Stress levels are at an all-time high. Drug and alcohol addiction levels evidence that harsh impact that economic woes have made on individuals and their families.  One result that often remains unremarked on is the number of divorces attributable to substance abuse and addiction.  What is a family to do? My guest is William Perkins, a Substance Abuse Treatment Professional and Substance Abuse Program Developer, with over 15 years of experience in the treatment and prevention of drug abuse.  He is the Executive Director of a new program which opened in May, 2010 called TARP, Inc., or Training Addiction and Recovery Professionals, located on Madison Avenue in mid-town Manhattan.  Mr. Perkins is certified by the New York State Office of Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Services (OASAS), as well as the National Association for Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Counselors (NAADAC), to provide the 350-hour certificate program needed in preparation to become a Credentialed Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor (CASAC).  He is also the Clinical Director of a successful multi-service, state licensed chemical dependence program in Harlem.

Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, blogging, your life could be consumed by keeping up with online networking.  What is an entrepreneur  to do?  How do you get the most value for the time you spend networking online?  Join me and Maisha Walker, a well-seasoned internet strategist and founder of messagemedium, a company dedicated to helping small and medium-sized businesses get the most from their presence online.

This week "The Problem is the Answer" goes on location to report from Occupy Wallstreet's headquarters in Zuccotti Park.  Listen in for live interviews with protesters and call in with questions.  It is time for a national conversation about the economy.  That conversation has started in Zuccotti Park.  Don't miss out!

Recently a stock trader interviewed by the BBC gave the most dire statement I have heard to date predicting a worldwide stock market implosion.  Sobering as his words were, I literally had no idea how to actually take the steps he suggested to protect my assets.  Thankfully, a Sean Hyde, my guest this Sunday, is better informed and will share the steps you should consider taking in order to weather the tough times to come.

Have you tried networking and come up with nothing?  Networking is an essential skill in these challenging times.  That's how job seekers find work and entrepreneurs find clients.  Without skill, networking can be a frustating and fruitless experience.  How do you make sure your networking efforts pay off? I have two guests today.  First, Pankaj Amin returns for his regular appearance on the show.  He provides tips that will turn you into a networking ninja who wastes no effort and accomplish goals with surgical precision. Then I chat with John Federico, author of Mob Seen: How To Use Social Media and Content Marketing to Create Awareness, Drive Traffic and Acquire Leads at Conferences, Expos and Your Own Branded Events. He introduces Qrious, an application he co-created that will revolutionize your networking experience, and he talks about other tools that will improve your success as a networker.

Life is about unforseen circumstances.  Today unforseen circumstances mean that I am re-broadcasting this very important conversation with Angela Conley, an expert on how to get in to the best college for you and pay for it. Today's economy has many people questioning whether incurring college debt, which is significant, is worth the investment.  Angela tells us why this question must not be taken lightly.

In the wake of the September 11th tragedy, help and comfort poured in to New York City from around the world.  Now New Yorkers are banding together to provide the same support and comfort to others who have experienced disasters in their communities. Listen in for how a very special song is set to help young people in Joplin Missouri, who survived an F5 torando earlier this year, put their lives and their band back together.

Our regular live broadcast will not be heard today for the Labor Day Holiday.  Look out for our special MAAFA broadcast later this week. Meanwhile enjoy this episode about how to establish your business so you can cash in on it later. Happy Labor Day to all in the United States.  Happy Spring to the Southern Hempisphere.  Have a great week everyone!Best,Bathabile

  Today I am happy to welcome Pankaj Amin back to the show.  He is our expert on the economy and how to thrive in these financially challenging times.  Today we talk about why this recession is different from any other and how to stand out in a tough economy.  This is not your grandmother’s recession and whether you are looking for regular employment or offering your services as a subcontractor, it is a buyer’s market and competition among sellers is stiff.  How do you make sure that your resume or proposal gets to the top of the pile? Listen to the show to hear what you need to know.

My guest is Suga Ray, a community activist who shares with us how he came from being the worst of the worst, as he put it, to dedicating every ounce of his passion and power to inspiring others to change their lives and serve their communities.  I asked Suga Ray to be on the show because I want to celebrate people who are pro-actors, not re-actors, people who do not wait for help and services to come from somewhere else, people who realize that the power to create the kind of community anyone would want to live in lays within the hands of the people who populate it.

My guest is Suga Ray, a community activist who shares with us how he came from being the worst of the worst, as he put it, to dedicating every ounce of his passion and power to inspiring others to change their lives and serve their communities.  I asked Suga Ray to be on the show because I want to celebrate people who are pro-actors, not re-actors, people who do not wait for help and services to come from somewhere else, people who realize that the power to create the kind of community anyone would want to live in lays within the hands of the people who populate it.

Our economy is undergoing a significant shift that brings with it a great deal of uncertainty.  With college-educated people deeply  impacted by the great recession some ask whether a college education is still worth the investment.  Join me and my guest Angela Conley, a Higher Education Access Consultant and the founder and Principal of VentureForth Consulting, as we discuss this issue and reveal her wisdom about making a college education accessible and affordable.

Listen in as I talk with well-known New York Community Activist Geoffrey Davis about the "Love Yourself Stop the Violence" campaign.

Today's regular programming will not be aired due to logistical and technical issues.  I have recorded a special message for you about what to expect for the rest of the month.  Please take a listen.  I'll miss you but I will be back again next week with Angela Conley who will talk with me about whether a college education is still worth the investment.

Join me and return guest Pankaj Amin as we discuss the state of the economy and what you should do to adapt to it.

Poet Brandon Lacy Campos has published his first book and boy does he have something to say.  Join us as we celebrate the book's publication and talk about life, loss, love and the truth.

Last week we talked about how to make change happen in government  Today we talk about how you can make change happen in your family.  Join me and my guest Mark Kleiman, mediator, as we talk about how to talk with your kids about anything. Mark is a former staff attorney for the Juvenile Rights Division of Legal Aid Society who left the court system to found and become executive director of Community Mediation Services, Inc. in Queens. From an initial mentoring program, CMS has developed court diversion programs across the city since 1983 in the areas of juvenile justice, community and family mediation, education, child welfare, youth development and homelessness. He is a founding board member of the New York City and State divorce mediation councils, a former board member of NYSDRA and of the National Association for Community Mediation. A NYS court certified mediation trainer in community, custody and parent-teen mediation, co-wrote the only Office of Court Administration funded custody/visitation mediation curriculum. He co-designed the conflict resolution curriculum for Americorps and a curriculum on program development for NAFCM as well as many other systemic applications including a definitive mediation model called Value Centered Mediation. If you have a teenager (or know someone who has one) you won't want miss this show.

Can you fight the law and win?  The Presidential race is ramping up in the United States and with it come the local, state, and national elections that give citizens the chance to impact politics in their communities in major ways. This broadcast of The Problem Is the Answer is about how to get the job done - no matter your political orientation. My guest is Cathy Marino-Thomas, Communications Director and President of the Board of Directors of Marriage Equality New York or MENY.  MENY lead the grassroots effort that succeeded in convincing a majority of the the New York State Legislature to pass a bill into law making same-sex marriage legal in the State of New York. Cathy, a now very seasoned veteran of grassroots organizing, will share the wisdom she gained from mounting a successful grassroots campaign. We will draw from her recent experiences to lay out a formula for how a grassroots effort can achieve social and political change.

What comes to your mind when you hear the word "Anarchy"? This Monday the United States remembers the the moment when this nation was formed. It is traditionally a national day of celebration. But it is also a chance to stop for a moment and think about what it means to be a nation. I invite you to take a pause from the pie and hot dog eating contests, the parades and the fireworks, take a moment to ask the provocative questions: do we really need a country? Could we be better off without the State? My guest this week is Gary Chartier, author of a new book titled "The Conscience of an Anarchist: Why it is Time to say Goodbye to the State and Build a Free Society".  In his book, Gary carefully lays out seven reasons why he is an anarchist and argues that the state is not only unnecessary but actually not good for society. He also sets out his vision for what a truly free society would be. I am looking forward to a truly fascinating conversation.  I guarantee that you will enjoy this chance to re-think what it really means to be a citizen of the state. Happy Independence Day!

The internet has opened doors for anyone with access to become a published author, photographer, international entrepreneur and more.  But who owns the stuff you post in the internet?  What are the rules about whether you can use or borrow pictures or articles or music that you come across on the internet?  Can other people use your stuff? My guest this week is Alozie Etufugh, J.D., an Intellectual Property (IP) attorney who will share the answers to those questions and more.

Too often the news about Dads is negative. According to a study by the Pew Research Centers titled "A Tale of Two Fathers", 27% of fathers in the United States who have children under age 18 live apart from at least one of their children. This situation does give rise to serious concerns.  It cannot go unaddressed.  However, this show is not about that.  This show is about the 73% of fathers who do live with their children and are a significant presence in their lives.   I am honored to welcome two guests.  The first is Keith Honeywell.  He is a founder of the  Real Dads Network, an organization dedicated to supporting men in their roles as fathers. My second guest is a real treat for me: my own dad has agreed to spend some time with me chatting about his own thoughts and experiences as a father.  Our conversation is unscripted and unrehearsed and Dad shares a ton of good wisdom about fatherhood and their importance to children.  Listen to hear the one best thing a father can do for his kids. I hope you will join me in this celebration of Fatherhood.

The wealthiest people in the United States largely share one thing in common: entrepreneurs. Most of today's wealthiest Americans are wealthy because somebody started a business and then, more often than not, sold it for a substantial profit.  If you are an entrpreneur or you are thinking about starting a business, this show is for you. My guest is Pankaj Amin, the Managing Director of SC Ventures, a consulting firm and investment fund that advises small to mid-sized companies and makes equity investments. Punkaj is also an entrepreneur who successfully purchased and managed a business that he sold 8 years later for a tidy profit. He will share his wisdom on how to establish a business that not only sustains your daily needs but becomes your source of true wealth. He will explain how an entrepreneur can set up and run a business so that it is attractive to investors down the line and reveal how those already in business can revive companies that seem to be losing momentum. 

The mortgage meltdown, the main reason for the United States' current financial crisis, happened largely on the backs of ordinary people who did not truly understand what happened when they signed their mortgages. I have invited housing and mortgage expert Rayman Mathoda, former Executive Vice President and Chief Administrative Officer at Indymac Bank, on the show to clear the air on the mortgage meltdown.  Ray founded and currently heads AssetPlanUSA, a company dedicated to educating its clients about the latest in housing market and regulation matters. She will give us the inside track on: What really happened to cause the mortgage crisis (it probably isn't what you think) The future of the housing market How to know if a mortgage is right for you The strategies you can use to get the best deal possible when foreclosure looms. Don't miss this show if you own a home or have any thought of purchasing one. Be sure to listen live so you can ask Ray questions over the air. Check my blog for more details about the show and about this week's topic. www.untangledresolutions.blogspot.com I look forward to chatting with you on Sunday afternoon! All my best, Bathabile