The Next Podcast: Moving Forward with Grief and Loss

One of the quieter challenges of grief is learning how to walk through it as a family — especially when everyone is grieving the same loss differently.In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham shares honestly about helping his seven adult children grieve the loss of their mother while continuing to navigate his own grief as a widower.How do you support your children without pushing them?How do you make room for different grief styles, timelines, and emotions?And what does it look like to stay present for one another when no one really knows what to say?Jay reflects on:• Why “gentle modeling” often helps more than advice• The sacred value of stories, memories, and family history• Learning to listen without trying to fix grief• Giving both yourself and your children graceThrough Scripture, personal reflection, and practical wisdom, this episode reminds us that grief is not something families “solve” together — it’s something we learn to carry together with compassion, patience, and God’s help.“Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stop trying to hurry each other through grief and simply stay present with one another inside it.”If you are grieving alongside your children — whether they are young or grown — this conversation will encourage you to lead with presence instead of pressure.Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56tMusic by Paul Grimsland

What does it look like to face the future after loss—especially when that future feels smaller, uncertain, or even lonely?In this episode, Jay shares honestly from his own journey as a widower, reflecting on the unique challenges of moving forward without the one you shared life with. From the quiet weight of loneliness to the loss of identity and daily rhythms, this conversation names the reality many feel but struggle to express.But this episode isn’t just about what’s hard, it’s about what’s still possible.Jay explores what it means to take small, faithful steps forward… to care for what’s been entrusted to you… and to give yourself permission to dream again. He shares how choosing to live again isn’t a betrayal of love, but an act of trust in God’s ongoing goodness.You’ll also hear practical and heartfelt thoughts on preparing your loved ones for the future with wisdom, gentleness, and love—without fear or heaviness.If you’ve ever wondered:• Can I trust God with what’s left of my life?• Is it okay to hope, laugh, or dream again?• How do I move forward without feeling like I’m leaving them behind?This episode will meet you there.Find out more about Jay here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Podcast music by Paul Grimsland

Grief doesn’t just change your life—it reshapes your family.In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham reflects on how loss impacts the rhythms, roles, and relationships within a family, especially as a widower with adult children.After losing his wife, Jay found that grief didn’t just take away his partner… it disrupted the shared timeline of raising a family together. What once felt steady now feels, at times, uncertain, fuzzy, and emotionally complex.From co-parenting to navigating life as the only remaining parent, this episode explores:• The emotional weight of parenting adult children through grief• The “relational confusion” that follows loss• Letting go of control while staying connected• Learning new ways to love without overstepping• Trusting God with your children’s journey—and your ownIf you’ve ever felt the tension of wanting to help but not knowing how…or the ache of missing the way your family used to be…You’re not alone.Grief changes the dance.But with God, you can learn new steps.Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56tThe NEXT Podcast music "Song for Christine" is by Paul Grimsland.

“There is a lot to mourn.”In this deeply personal episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham shares from a recent journal entry—an honest look at what grief continues to uncover over time.Grief isn’t just about the initial loss. It’s also about the secondary losses that follow—changing memories, shifting relationships, and even the evolving relationship you have with yourself.Memories don’t always stay the same.They change shape… and sometimes bring new forms of sadness.Relationships shift.Even your sense of identity can feel unsettled.And in the middle of it all, grief becomes something like a dance—learning new steps without ever fully mastering the old ones.This episode is a gentle reminder that:• There is more to grieve than we often expect• Ongoing grief is not failure, it’s reality• And you don’t have to fight every emotion that comesIf you’ve ever felt surprised by grief showing up in new ways…or wondered why it still feels so present…You’re not doing it wrong. There is just… a lot to mourn.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

What if grief is shaping you… but not defining you?In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham reflects on a tension he’s been wrestling with even after years of walking through loss, hosting a grief podcast, and helping others navigate sorrow—he doesn’t want to be known as “the grief guy.”Because grief may be part of his story… but it is not his identity.Jay shares honestly about what it means to be refined by grief rather than defined by it. He explores the difference between labels and transformation, the sacred role of lament, and the ongoing process of letting go—not of love, but of what holds us back from moving forward.This episode is a reminder that:• You are more than what you’ve lost• Grief is real, necessary, and deeply personal• And God alone gets to define who you areIf you’ve ever felt like your pain is becoming your identity… this conversation will meet you there—with honesty, hope, and truth.

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, I share honestly about where I am now — not as a pastor or teacher, but as a man still walking forward after loss.Grief has reshaped me. It has changed how I see myself, my future, and even my voice. As a widower who loved being married, I wrestle with what it means to still speak about marriage. I grieve not only the loss of my bride, but for the person I might have become with her by my side.In this episode, I talk about:• Loss does not disqualify you from having a voice• Grieving the version of yourself that might have been• Beauty as God’s invitation back to life.• Why grief feels like “the fast you never break”• Why ordinary memories — bananas, coffee, tea — carry sacred weight• Trusting God’s goodness without requiring something “good” to come from your painIf you are grieving more than just a person — if you’re grieving identity, future, or the ordinary rhythms of life — I hope this conversation reminds you:You’re not strange.You’re not behind.You’re not doing this wrong.You are heard.God is good. He is always good. And He answers out of His goodness.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

Grief doesn’t just take what you love. It changes who you are.In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham continues the conversation about grief as a rite of passage by stepping into what may be the hardest part of the journey—the middle space. That in-between place where you are no longer who you were, but not yet who you are becoming.Jay shares honestly about disorientation, about learning to function in a life he didn’t choose after the loss of his bride, Christine, and about the quietness of God in seasons where clarity doesn’t come quickly. He speaks to the tension of wanting a map while discovering that what we truly need is proximity to the Father.If you’ve felt lost, numb, behind, or unsure of who you are anymore, this episode offers language for that experience. The middle is not wasted space. It is sacred ground where identity is refined, dependence grows deeper, and God meets us daily with just enough grace.You are not behind. You are in between. And God is still good there.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

If grief is a rite of passage, then stripping is part of the journey.In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham continues the conversation from Episode 53, exploring what grief takes from us—and why that painful undoing is not a sign of failure, but a necessary part of transformation.Jay speaks candidly about the roles, rhythms, language, and assumptions that grief dismantles after the loss of his bride, Christine. He reflects on the feeling of being “undone,” not as something broken beyond repair, but as evidence that the work is not finished yet.This episode invites listeners to slow down, resist the urge to rebuild too quickly, and allow God to meet them in the rubble. Grief strips away much, but it cannot strip away God’s presence, love, or redemptive work in our lives.If you feel disoriented, unfinished, or unsure who you are anymore, this conversation offers permission to engage the process honestly—one step at a time, with God.

Grief is not a problem to fix, a disease to cure, or a sentence to serve. It is a passage to walk through.In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham reflects on grief as a rite of passage—one that is entered, not chosen, and one that changes us whether we’re ready or not. Drawing from his own six-year journey after the loss of his bride, Christine, Jay shares how grief dismantles what was familiar and invites us into a deeper, more honest walk with God.This conversation explores grief not as something to conquer, but as sacred ground where lament, worship, endurance, and intimacy with God are formed. Jay speaks candidly about what hasn’t worked, what still hurts, and how redemption doesn’t come through answers or explanations—but through the presence of God Himself.If you feel stuck, behind, exhausted, or unsure why this journey is taking so long, this episode offers a reframing that may bring freedom: you are not failing—you are in passage.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me acoffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping megrow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham gently reframes the idea of “goals” through the lens of grief, loss, and faith. These are not resolutions meant to fix pain or rush healing. They are sacred goals for widowers—and for anyone walking with grief—who are learning how to live faithfully with loss.Jay walks through seven intentional goals, including honesty, stewardship, endurance, remembrance without drowning, worship through lament, community, and trusting God’s definition of good. Each goal offers space for breath, truth, and surrender rather than pressure or performance.Rooted in Scripture and personal experience, this episode reminds us that grief doesn’t reset with the calendar, but God remains present and faithful in every season. As the year unfolds, listeners are invited to walk forward slowly, honestly, and imperfectly, trusting a God who crowns our year with His goodness and surrounds us with His presence.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

A new year always invites reflection—but when grief is part of your story, reflection becomes sacred work.In this episode, Jay Cookingham talks honestly about what it means to carry both sorrow and hope into a new season. Six years into life as a widower, Jay reflects on the tension between “praise reports” and the parts of grief that are harder to share—the wounds, the exhaustion, the stories behind the tears.This episode is about telling the whole story. Not just the victories, but the battles. Not just the fruit, but the pain that produced it. Jay explores biblical lament, the courage of honesty, and the truth that mourning and celebration can exist side by side.If you’re navigating grief, supporting someone who is, or wondering how God’s goodness fits into ongoing pain, this conversation creates space for honesty, worship, and hope.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56tRemember: God is good. He is always good. And He always answers out of His goodness.

Episode 50 marks an important milestone on The NEXT Podcast, and Jay reflects with gratitude on the journey so far—fifty honest conversations shaped by loss, faith, and the steady presence of God.As the calendar turns to a new year, this episode gently acknowledges a truth many grieving hearts know well: while the date may change, grief often remains. The New Year doesn’t automatically feel fresh or hopeful when loss still walks beside us.Drawing from C.S. Lewis, Scripture, and his own experience of entering another year without Christine, Jay explores grief not as a destination, but as a process—one God meets us in daily. He reminds listeners that God’s mercies are not reserved for New Year’s Day, but are new every single morning, even in the wilderness of sorrow.This episode is an invitation to release the pressure of forced resolutions, to honor the reality of ongoing grief, and to lean into God’s faithfulness one day at a time. If you’re stepping into a new year carrying old heartache, this conversation offers hope, honesty, and the reassurance that God is still making a way forward.

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year” … or is it?For many walking through grief, Christmas doesn’t feel wonderful at all. In this deeply honest episode, Jay reflects on another Christmas without his bride and the complicated, messy reality of holding grief and celebration at the same time.Drawing from Scripture, personal experience, and the truth of the gospel, Jay explores the difference between seasonal cheer and lasting joy. He reminds us that joy is not the absence of sorrow, but the presence of hope — rooted in belonging to Jesus, the Light of the world.This episode offers comfort for those who feel lonely, weary, or out of sync with the holiday season, while gently pointing listeners back to Emmanuel — God with us and God for us — even in seasons that don’t feel merry or bright.If Christmas feels “not so wonderful” this year, you’re not alone. This conversation invites you to choose worship, receive God’s indescribable gift, and trust His goodness as you move forward.

Christmas comes wrapped in lights, music, and cheer, but for those walking through grief, the season can feel completely out of sync with the heart. In this episode, Jay speaks honestly about the tension between cultural “holly jolly” expectations and the real weight of loss, especially when facing Christmas without the one who helped make it meaningful.Drawing from a personal Christmas Eve journal entry, Jay reflects on how traditions shift, memories surface, and grief deepens during the holidays. Yet he also shares the deeper truth that anchors his heart: Christmas isn’t built on mood, but on Emmanuel—God with us. Even in seasons of grief, God continues to give strength, presence, peace, and hope.If this Christmas feels different or difficult, this conversation will meet you with honesty, comfort, and the reminder that you don’t have to manufacture joy.You simply must make room for the One who enters broken places with love.

In this vulnerable and hope-filled episode, Jay shares what it means to steward singleness during the holiday season, a season that carries both beauty and deep complexity for those grieving.Jay speaks honestly about his own journey as a widower, acknowledging that singleness isn’t something he prefers or celebrates, but a season God has asked him to steward with purpose. With warmth and clarity, he explores how the holidays amplify grief, memories, expectations, and loneliness, yet can still become sacred opportunities to trust God in new ways.Jay outlines how he is learning to steward his time, emotions, and expectations wisely, while offering practical insight for anyone navigating “different” holidays. He also shares a heartfelt reflection on Christmas without his wife, and how even in broken traditions, the truth of Emmanuel — God with us — remains unshaken.If you're entering this season with a tender heart, this episode will help you find grace, perspective, and the courage to make room for God in your journey.Tune in to Episode 47: “Stewarding Singleness During the Holidays.”Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In this heartfelt Thanksgiving episode, Jay shares why gratitude becomes even more meaningful — and more challenging — in seasons of grief. Drawing from Psalm 9:1 and Psalm 28:7, he reflects on the last Thanksgiving his wife spent at home, the pieces of his heart still scattered by loss, and how choosing thankfulness has become a courageous act of trust.Jay reminds us that gratitude doesn’t erase sorrow; it reframes it. It’s quieter, more tender, and often found in the small, honest moments: the warmth of a coffee cup, the quiet of morning, the unexpected strength to face another day.Through personal reflection and Scripture, Jay explores how remembering God’s goodness helps us gather the pieces of our hearts again, and how God faithfully meets us in that gathering.If this Thanksgiving feels heavy or complicated, this episode will help you find one simple, honest thing to thank Him for — and rediscover hope in the middle of brokenness.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In this episode, Jay dives into a phrase almost every grieving heart knows too well: “Here we go again.”That moment when a fresh wave of grief hits, when old wounds reopen, or when the weight of loss resurfaces just when you thought you were finally steady.Jay explores why grief often repeats itself, why the waves keep coming, and how exhausting it can feel to relive the same emotional ground. He shares candidly about his own struggle with these moments—and the subtle anxiety, self-doubt, and restlessness they bring.But this episode doesn’t stay in the heaviness.Jay offers a new perspective: not fighting the wave but learning to ride it back toward God’s presence. He shares a deeply personal prayer that came from a quiet moment with ABBA—an invitation into stillness, surrender, and restoration.If you’re walking through a season of repetitive waves, this episode will remind you that God meets us in the quiet places we cannot create on our own… and that His goodness remains true even when grief circles back.Tune in to Episode 45: “Here We Go Again.”Here’s the prayer I mentioned:Father,I give myself over to your quiet.My quiet isn’t still enough. It’s too loud, too noisy, too busy.Too much about me.In your quiet there is peace.Rescue… rest… restoration.So, I consecrate my thoughts, emotions, ideas, plans, all thatmy mind, heart and soul are consumed with. I surrender all my agendas, strategies, motivations, attitudes and my will to you.I give you all my concerns, worries, doubts, fears and disappointments.I hold nothing back.I will be still my King, and I enter your quiet with gratitude.Thank you for the invitation!AmenFind out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

What happens when the foundation you’ve built your life on suddenly shifts? In this heartfelt episode, Jay Cookingham opens up about life after loss—about feeling “out of sync,” rebuilding identity, and finding new rhythms when the old anchors are gone.Jay shares his personal journey through grief, the struggle of comparison, and the healing power of creativity and faith. It’s an honest conversation about re-learning how to live, love, and trust in God’s goodness even in deep sorrow.If you’re navigating a season of loss or transition, this episode will remind you that hope, grace, and new beginnings are still possible.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

This episode explores what it really means to rediscover joy while still honoring loss. Jay shares about a recent men’s conference that reminded him of how universal grief is and how powerful it can be to talk about it honestly. As he reflects on nearly six years since Christine’s passing, Jay wrestles with tension, the sacred space where sorrow and joy coexist. Through scripture, stories, and honest confession, he invites listeners to see that grief and joy aren’t opposites, they’re companions. This episode is about learning to live again, to trust that joy can coexist with sorrow, and to find the courage to keep choosing life, gratitude, and God’s presence, one step at a time.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

After 41 episodes of walking through the valleys of grief and glimpses of grace, Jay takes a pause to look back.In this reflective episode, he unpacks the five recurring themes that have shaped his journey so far: love, God’s relentless goodness, lament, the companionship of joy and sorrow, and trust.Grief doesn’t stand still, it changes us. It refines, reshapes, and reminds us that even in loss, God continues to give. Through tears and truth, Jay shares what it means to keep moving forward, not away from grief, but deeper into grace.If you’ve ever wondered whether things can truly change after loss, this episode offers a quiet but powerful yes.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In Episode 41 of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham explores the question every grieving heart eventually faces: What’s next? Nearly six years after the loss of his bride, Jay reflects on how grief reshapes our story, challenges our faith, and invites us to keep moving forward with courage and trust. “What’s next” isn’t about getting over loss—it’s about integrating it into our lives, rediscovering purpose, and embracing the sacred act of releasing. With honesty, scripture, and practical insight, Jay shares how trust becomes the destination of grief and how God faithfully leads us into the next chapter of life.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In Episode 40 of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookinghamreflects on a surprising truth—grief doesn’t just take, it can also give back. While loss strips us down and reshapes our lives in ways we never asked for,grief can also become a strange kind of teacher, offering gifts of perspective, compassion, and a deeper awareness of God’s presence. Through the layers of pain, Jay shares how grief has confirmed God’s promises, reminded him of His goodness, and even restored a sense of self. This episode is about learning to see grief not only as a thief but also as a giver—pointing us toward hope, transformation, and trust in God’s faithfulness.Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.comI’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and help me grow the podcast. Thank you!Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay wraps up the Four R’s of grief with the last rhythm: Rigorous – The Holy Work of Not Giving Up.Grief is relentless and often harsh but being rigorous doesn’t mean being harsh with yourself—it means being honest, consistent, and faithful in the hardest seasons. Jay shares how “holy persistence” has carried him through loss, what rigorous faith looks like in practice, and why worship is hope in action. This is the hard and holy work of staying connected to God, to life, and to love—even when nothing feels stable.

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay shares openly about navigating a difficult day of grief while leaning into the spiritual practice of repetition. He unpacks the power of “Truth Bombs”—statements of faith and identity that help reshape his perspective during loss. Jay shares his top three truths:• I am God’s son• I am not being punished• I can learn to love life againThese affirmations are more than words; they are lifelines that anchor him in God’s goodness and remind him that grief does not define him. With transparency and honesty, Jay invites listeners to discover their own “truth bombs” and experience the resilience that comes from speaking truth in love to themselves.

Grief can feel like an endless, exhausting dance you never signed up for. In this episode, Jay shares how “repeatable rhythms” have been his lifeline—small, intentional choices that keep hope alive, faith anchored, and joy within reach. From raw prayer and honest journaling to speaking truth, worship, and finding beauty, these rhythms don’t just fill the day—they shape the soul. Discover how one faithful step at a time can keep you moving forward, even when the weight of loss tries to pull you under.

In this second part of our Four R’s series, Jay Cookingham explores the often-misunderstood nature of resilience. This episode dives deep into what it really means to be resilient—not as a badge of toughness, but as a testimony to God’s sustaining presence in the middle of grief, loss, and transformation.Resilience isn’t about bouncing back or pretending everything is okay. It’s about showing up when it’s hard, standing when you’d rather disappear, and letting God meet you in the cracks. Jay shares personal stories, spiritual insights, and biblical truths that have helped him walk forward after loss. You’ll hear how restoration leads to transformation and why breaking isn’t the end—it’s the beginning of becoming someone new.If you’ve ever asked, “Can anything beautiful come from this pain?”—this episode is for you.

Grief doesn’t take days off—and neither can we when it comes to healing. In this raw and honest episode, Jay Cookingham begins a four-part series on the “Four R’s” that have helped him walk through grief with courage and faith: Relentless, Resilient, Repeatable, and Rigorous.Today, he starts with the one that’s anchored him from day one: Relentless.With vulnerable reflections, Scripture, and practical steps, Jay shares what it means to keep showing up when the pain won’t let up—and how relentless faith invites us to meet a relentlessly faithful God.This episode is for anyone who’s tired, worn out, or still carrying a grief that feels invisible to the world. You’re not alone… and you don’t have to walk this road alone.“Maybe the most relentless thing we can do is keep choosing life—one quiet, sacred breath at a time.” – Jay Cookingham

In this deeply personal episode of the NEXT Podcast, Jay reflects on the complex emotions that surround his five-and-a-half-year mark of grief. With raw honesty and spiritual depth, he explores what it means to live in the tension between sorrow and joy, faith and frustration, longing and resilience.Jay shares how he's learning to move forward—not by erasing the pain, but by integrating it into his journey. Through what he calls the “Four Rs of Grief Work”—Relentless, Resilient, Repeatable, and Rigorous—Jay offers a framework that gives grief meaning and space to shape us without defining us.This is an episode for anyone walking through grief, wondering if it’s okay to say, “I still hurt, but I still believe.”

In Episode 33 of the NEXT Podcast, Jay reflects on the 5.5-year mark since the passing of his beloved wife, Christine. What does grief feel like when the calendar keeps moving, but the ache remains? What happens when the expected emotions don’t arrive on cue—or when numbness sets in instead?Through raw honesty, scriptural reflection, and deeply personal insight, Jay shares how grief continues to reshape his life—and how God is still doing something good in the middle of the sorrow. Because as Jay says:“The heart doesn’t get better by avoiding pain… it gets better when we let God lead us through it.”If you’ve ever wondered how to keep believing when you are still hurting, this episode is for you.

Calendar Grief: When the Numbers Don’t Add UpIn Episode 32 of the NEXT Podcast, host Jay Cookingham opens up about “calendar grief”—those dates on the calendar that carry deep emotional weight. Whether it’s an anniversary, a birthday, or a day of loss, these numbers don’t just track time… they hold stories, and sometimes, sorrow.As Jay reflects on what would have been his 43rd wedding anniversary, he explores how grief messes with our math—and how God meets us in the moments that no longer add up. Through a powerful personal story, practical ways to navigate hard dates, and a reminder of our identity in Christ, this episode invites listeners to embrace their grief with honesty, purpose, and hope.Because even when the dates hurt... God never misses a moment to draw near.

In this honest and deeply reflective episode, Jay explores how grief doesn’t just take—it reshapes. After the loss of his wife Christine, Jay found himself facing a deep question: “Who am I now?”Grief may feel like it’s stealing everything familiar—purpose, peace, even identity—but it can also become a teacher. Jay unpacks how sorrow can actually refine us, drawing us back to the truth of who we are in Christ.This episode digs into the pain and purpose of lament, the redemptive power of God’s compassion, and the unshakable foundation of sonship in the middle of identity-shifting loss. Whether you're grieving or walking with someone who is, you’ll find encouragement, truth, and grace here.

In this honest and deeply personal episode, Jay shares about one of the least-discussed aspects of grief: sexual bereavement and Widower’s Fire—the overwhelming longing for intimacy after the death of a spouse.This episode opens the door to a conversation many avoid—especially in the church—and offers encouragement, grace, and practical steps for Christian men navigating this form of loss. Jay speaks vulnerably about the loneliness that comes with losing not just a partner, but the physical, emotional, and spiritual connection that intimacy brought to marriage.Whether you’re a widower, a friend, a pastor, or someone trying to better support those in grief, this episode offers something vital: permission to name what hurts, space to be seen, and hope that God meets us even in the most uncomfortable places.

Giving Space to Grieve HonestlyIn this heartfelt episode, Jay shares a vulnerable and honest conversation around the well-meaning but often painful things people say to those who are grieving. Drawing from personal experience, he offers real-life examples, simple responses, and a call to compassion.More than a list of what not to say, this episode is an invitation—to walk gently with the grieving, to give them space to feel, and to resist the urge to “fix” what can’t be fixed. Jay also speaks candidly about what it means to move forward in grief while still deeply feeling the weight of loss—and how sadness and faith can live side by side.Whether you’re grieving or supporting someone who is, this episode offers grace, understanding, and practical insight for the journey.

In this deeply personal episode, Jay explores the often-overlooked emotional terrain of grief—especially for men. Through raw honesty and spiritual reflection, he unpacks how emotions aren’t enemies to conquer, but messengers to learn from. Jay shares how he uses his pain as fuel for healing, creativity, and worship, offering practical ways to process sorrow without shame. From quiet tears to riverbank outbursts, this episode is a powerful reminder that regulating emotions is not weakness—it’s worship.Whether you’re grieving or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers hope, direction, and space to feel.

In this special post-Easter edition of the NEXT Podcast, Jay shares raw, honest reflections recorded the day after Resurrection Sunday. After taking time away to intentionally reflect on Holy Week, Jay opens up about where he is in his grief journey—five years, four months, and six days after Christine’s passing.This “Current Mood” episode explores themes of resilience over recovery, how love—not just faith—has carried him through the darkest seasons, and why choosing life each day is an act of worship.Jay also shares a deeply personal story about Christine’s childhood dream of becoming a ballerina, how she lived out that dream in grace and spirit, and what that means for those of us learning to dance with grief.If you’ve ever wondered how to hold both sorrow and joy, how to walk in resurrection power even when your heart is breaking—this episode is for you.https://jaycookingham.com

In this episode of the NEXT Podcast, we continue exploring the myths surrounding grief—especially the pressure to “move on,” or “find closure,” and the belief that time alone brings healing.I share honestly about what it means to live with loss beyond the first year, the unexpected ways pain deepens over time and how embracing that pain with God’s presence can actually grow your capacity for joy.This episode is raw, reflective, and rooted in hope. If you’ve ever felt like your grief doesn’t fit a timeline, this conversation is for you.

Grief doesn’t follow the rulebook. In this episode of the NEXT podcast, host Jay Cookingham unpacks one of the biggest myths about grief—the idea that it moves in predictable stages. Society tells us we should process loss in a neat, orderly way, but real grief is messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal. Jay shares his own journey, challenging the common misconceptions that hold us back from healing and offering a perspective rooted in faith and hope. If you’ve ever felt like you’re “grieving wrong,” this episode is for you.

Grief isn’t just about losing a spouse—it’s about losing all the roles they filled in your life. One of the deepest losses I’ve faced is losing Christine not only as my wife, but as my sister in Christ—the one who prayed with me, encouraged me, and challenged me in my faith.In this episode, I reflect on:• How Christine’s faith and friendship shaped our marriage• Why losing a spouse changes every other relationship in your life• The struggle of missing spiritual intimacy and deep conversations• How grief unravels us—but how God is knitting something new together• What it means to bring this kind of loss to Jesus and worship Him thereFor those who have lost a spouse, a best friend, or a spiritual companion, I see you. You don’t have to carry this grief alone. Join me as I process this layer of loss and seek hope in the presence of God.Listen now and take the next step forward in your grief journey.

Grief is layered. It’s not just about losing a spouse—it’s about losing all the roles they filled in your life. And one of the deepest losses for a widower is the loss of intimacy.But intimacy isn’t just physical. It’s conversational, relational, and spiritual. It’s the connection that makes you feel known, chosen, and truly at home. And when that’s suddenly gone, the silence it leaves behind is overwhelming.In this episode, I share:• What intimacy looks like and why its absence is so painful• How losing a spouse affects a widower’s identity, confidence, and sense of belonging• Why some grieve not just the love they had, but the love they never fully experienced• Why practical steps don’t always work—and what we truly need instead• How God meets us in the loneliness and grief, even when answers don’t come easilyGrief isn’t something we move past—it’s something we learn to carry. But we don’t have to carry it alone.Listen now and take the next step forward in your journey.

Grief is layered. When we lose someone we love, especially a spouse, we’re not just mourning one loss, but many. There are different levels of grief that unfold over time, and each one requires space to process.In this episode, I reflect on my own grief journey, the stories of widowers I met at a recent men’s conference, and the deep impact of losing not just a spouse, but a best friend. Christine was my greatest encourager, my safe place, my confidant—and losing that level of friendship left a void I never could have prepared for.I’ll share:• The layers of grief we experience after losing a spouse• Why friendship is the fuel of marriage and what happens when that’s gone• How grief, loneliness, and faith intersect—and how God meets us in the ache• Why pressing into God is the first step to healing and moving forward• How to honor your loved one by keeping their story aliveGrief is not something we "get over"—it's something we learn to carry. But in that journey, we are never alone.Listen now and take the next step forward in your grief journey.

Pain changes us. Grief marks us. But it doesn’t have to destroy us.In this episode of the NEXT Podcast, I share more of the story of my wife Christine’s battle with cancer—the heartbreak, the questions, the moments of worship, and the growth that came through pain. Grief gave me a limp, but it also led me deeper into trust, faith, and dependence on God.Join me as I talk about:• The moment Christine and I chose worship over fear• How grief challenges our faith—but can also deepen it• The spiritual struggles that come with loss and the questions I wrestled with• Why God invites us to press in, even when we don’t understand His plan• How pain and growth are intertwined—and what that means for our faithLosing Christine broke me, but it didn’t destroy me. And in this journey, I’m learning how to walk forward—yes, with a limp, but with a faith that is stronger than before.Listen now and take the next step in your journey through grief.

Grief has a way of making us question everything—our purpose, our future, even God Himself. But trust is the destination of grief. It’s not about having all the answers, but about believing in the One who does.In this episode of the NEXT Podcast, we reach the final step in the NEXT framework: TRUST. Trust is both the destination and the road we walk to get there. It’s a journey of surrender, of choosing to believe that even in our sorrow, God is still faithful.Join me as I share:• Why trust is a choice, not a feeling.• How grief can feel like a blank canvas we never wanted—but God is still the artist.• Why worship is an act of trust, even when we don’t understand the picture God is painting.• The connection between trust and resilience—and how it strengthens us instead of crushing us.• How to build trust in grief through surrender, refocusing, and remembering God’s faithfulness.Trusting God doesn’t mean our grief disappears—but it does mean we don’t have to carry it alone. Listen now and take the next step forward.

Grief doesn’t just sit quietly, it demands to be felt, wrestled with, and understood. But what happens when grief makes you question everything?In this episode of the NEXT Podcast, we continue through the NEXT framework, diving into the third step: EXPLORE—the process of asking tough questions, seeking meaning, and discovering how God meets us in our doubts.If Embracing grief is about expressing what we feel, Exploring grief is about understanding why we feel it. It’s about digging deeper into the emotions beneath the surface—anger, sadness, regret—and finding the courage to bring those raw emotions before God.This episode is for anyone who’s ever asked: Where is God in my pain? Why did this happen? Who am I now? If you’re wrestling with those questions, you are not alone—and God is not afraid of them.Tune in now and take your NEXT step forward.

Grief is real. It’s raw. It changes us. But it doesn’t have to define us. In this episode of the NEXT Podcast, we continue our journey through the NEXT acronym by exploring what it means to embrace grief—fully acknowledging the pain of loss while refusing to let it consume us. I share my personal journey of wrestling with God in grief, the moment my pain turned to surrender, and how worship became my way forward. If I was loud in my pain, I knew I needed to be loud in my praise. Together, we’ll talk about: • How grief can shape us but not imprison us • Using pain as fuel for purpose and healing • Why worship challenges us to grieve better • Five practical steps to embracing grief with faith and resilience Grief is a sacred journey, but we don’t walk it alone. Jesus meets us in the sorrow and leads us toward hope. Listen now and take your NEXT step forward.

Grief often leaves us feeling stuck or adrift, unsure of how to move forward. In this episode of the NEXT podcast, Jay Cookingham explores what it means to navigate grief intentionally. It’s not about knowing the entire plan—it’s about trusting God to guide the next step. Join Jay as he shares practical steps to navigate your journey, from setting daily targets to creating a “grief compass” that keeps you focused. Discover how even small, faithful steps can lead to healing and hope.

Grief doesn’t just take—it gives. In this episode of the NEXT podcast, Jay Cookingham shares how the pain of loss can shape and refine us, offering gifts we never expected. From discovering the strength to face loneliness to embracing sorrow as a companion to joy, this episode explores the transformative power of grief when seen through the truth of who God is and who we are in Christ. Join Jay as he reflects on the lessons his journey with grief has taught him and the ways God’s promises sustain him through every step of the journey.

Loneliness, grief, and faith often collide in ways that feel overwhelming. In this episode of the NEXT podcast, Jay Cookingham reflects on five years of navigating grief after the loss of his bride, Christine. He shares how lament meets loneliness with worship, why pacing yourself through sorrow is essential, and how God’s unstoppable love anchors him through it all. This raw and passionate conversation offers practical steps for anyone struggling with the fallout of grief and longing for hope.

In this episode of The Next Podcast: Moving Forward with Grief and Loss podcast, Jay Cookingham dives into the complexities of navigating grief as a leader. Sharing raw, personal experiences and timeless biblical truths, he explores the tension between vulnerability and strength, the transformative power of pain, and how faith sustains us in seasons of loss. Whether you’re leading a church, a ministry, or simply your family, this episode offers encouragement, practical wisdom, and hope for those walking through the valley of grief. Join Jay as he unpacks what it means to lead with authenticity and courage, even during brokenness.

In this episode of the NEXT podcast, host Jay Cookingham explores the complexities of starting a new year while navigating grief and loss. The world often tells us that the new year is a time to "move on," but what if your grief hasn’t caught up with the calendar? Jay offers honest reflections on the challenges of guilt, acceptance, and the messy expectations placed on those who are grieving. Drawing on personal experience and biblical encouragement, he shares how grief doesn't have to be a tyrant but can be a teacher, guiding us toward transformation and growth. This episode is a reminder that while grief changes us, it doesn't diminish the love we hold – and there is hope in moving forward without letting go of what matters most.

What happens when the festivities are over, and you’re left with the emotional and mental exhaustion of navigating Christmas during grief? I’ll share personal reflections on what it’s like facing the holidays without my bride, Christine. Together, we’ll explore how the encouraging words of loved ones, even after they’re gone, can become a source of strength to carry us through the heaviness of special days. We’ll also revisit the beautiful Christmas story and the hope it offers to all of us. This episode is about finding light in the darkness, remembering love that endures, and leaning into the grand story of redemption that we’re all invited into. If you’re feeling the weight of grief this holiday season, this episode is for you. Let’s journey through the “hangover” and discover how God’s goodness can carry us forward. Tune in now and let hope guide your heart this season.