The Upside of Oversharing, and the Surprising Downside of Restraint | Leslie John episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 2, 2026 · 46 MIN

The Upside of Oversharing, and the Surprising Downside of Restraint | Leslie John

from Good Life Project · host Poncho

Most of us think oversharing is the problem. It's not. New research from Harvard reveals that the bigger threat to your relationships, your health, and your sense of belonging may be all the things you're choosing not to say.How many times today did something cross your mind that you chose to keep to yourself, a feeling you swallowed, a compliment you almost gave, a truth you pulled away from? That habit of holding back is doing far more damage than you realize, to your closest relationships, your wellbeing, and even your body.Leslie John is the James E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School, whose award-winning research on self-disclosure has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and The Economist. In her new book, Revealing, she makes a compelling, science-backed case that most of us are dramatically undersharing, and it's costing us the very connection, trust, and intimacy we crave.In this conversation, you'll discover...A simple daily audit that reveals how much you're silently holding back, and why becoming aware of it alone can transform your closest relationshipsThe surprising research behind why revealing uncomfortable truths makes people trust and respect you more than staying silentA critical distinction between two types of openness that determines whether sharing at work builds your influence or puts you at riskOne easy, low-risk form of sharing that almost always deepens connection and takes just a few secondsWhy feeling confident that you truly "know" your partner might be the very thing keeping you from real intimacyIf you've been sensing a quiet distance in your relationships, or wondering why your closest bonds don't feel as deep as you'd like, this conversation will reshape how you think about everything you've been holding back. Hit play now.You can find Leslie at: Website | Instagram | Episode TranscriptNext week, we're sharing a really meaningful conversation with Valarie Kaur about why the darkness we feel in the world today might not be the darkness of a tomb, but actually the darkness of a womb. It’s a powerful new way to look at fear and find your breath again.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most of us think oversharing is the problem. It's not. New research from Harvard reveals that the bigger threat to your relationships, your health, and your sense of belonging may be all the things you're choosing not to say.How many times today did something cross your mind that you chose to keep to yourself, a feeling you swallowed, a compliment you almost gave, a truth you pulled away from? That habit of holding back is doing far more damage than you realize, to your closest relationships, your wellbeing, and even your body.Leslie John is the James E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School, whose award-winning research on self-disclosure has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and The Economist. In her new book, Revealing, she makes a compelling, science-backed case that most of us are dramatically undersharing, and it's costing us the very connection, trust, and intimacy we crave.In this conversation, you'll discover...A simple daily audit that reveals how much you're silently holding back, and why becoming aware of it alone can transform your closest relationshipsThe surprising research behind why revealing uncomfortable truths makes people trust and respect you more than staying silentA critical distinction between two types of openness that determines whether sharing at work builds your influence or puts you at riskOne easy, low-risk form of sharing that almost always deepens connection and takes just a few secondsWhy feeling confident that you truly "know" your partner might be the very thing keeping you from real intimacyIf you've been sensing a quiet distance in your relationships, or wondering why your closest bonds don't feel as deep as you'd like, this conversation will reshape how you think about everything you've been holding back. Hit play now.You can find Leslie at: Website | Instagram | Episode TranscriptNext week, we're sharing a really meaningful conversation with Valarie Kaur about why the darkness we feel in the world today might not be the darkness of a tomb, but actually the darkness of a womb. It’s a powerful new way to look at fear and find your breath again.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The Upside of Oversharing, and the Surprising Downside of Restraint | Leslie John

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Most of us think oversharing is the problem. It's not. New research from Harvard reveals that the bigger threat to your relationships, your health, and your sense of belonging may be all the things you're choosing not to say.How many times today did...

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