Beyond the basement

In this episode, I explore our relationship with uncertainty, not knowing, and what it really means to move through life like a grown-up when, underneath it all, we’re all still making it up as we go along.Starting with an important life lesson about bullsh*t, I reflect on the strange truth that confidence often isn’t about having the answers - it’s about how we carry ourselves while we look for them. I connect this to improvisation, embodied self-trust, and the difference between panicked overthinking and grounded forward movement.This is an episode about dignity, humility, confidence, and the practice of taking one step at a time - even when you have no idea where it’s all leading. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

On holiday in Austria, I found myself unexpectedly face-to-face with a familiar lesson: choosing self-trust over self-abandonment.In this episode, I share what happened while rock climbing a via ferrata route in the Alps - the moment when the fun stopped feeling fun and started feeling wrong, and why tuning in and turning back became a quiet but meaningful act of listening to oneself.I explore the difference between stretch and overwhelm, fear and misalignment, excitement and self-abandonment. I talk about group pressure, perfectionism, nervous system dysregulation, and the old habit of going along with things to look capable, good, or brave. And I reflect on what it means to give yourself a clean no, without shame or judgement.This is an episode about boundaries, attunement, and those small, brave moments where change really begins. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

In this episode, I’m exploring why certain kinds of conflict feel especially painful for perfectionists - especially when someone projects something onto you that doesn’t feel true.I look at what happens when another person’s fear, history or trauma gets laid at your door, and why that can hit so hard if you’re already wired to question yourself, defend yourself, and try to make everything fair, right and repairable. I talk about projection, conflict, inner authority, the urge to explain yourself, and the trap of taking responsibility for something that was never yours to carry.This is really an episode about being misunderstood, losing contact with yourself in the moment, and learning - however imperfectly - to choose dignity, boundaries and self-trust instead.If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a painful dynamic where you wanted desperately to fix things, prove your goodness, or stop someone seeing you through the wrong lens, this one might land. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

I’m back from my first men’s retreat in Sweden - a deep, embodied exploration of masculinity, sensitivity, self-leadership, and love.I share what struck me most: that healthy masculinity is about grounded presence and love. It’s steadiness in uncertainty. It’s the capacity to hold tension, to protect what matters, to stay open-hearted, and to bring clarity and care to yourself and others.I explore what it felt like to be in safe male company, what masculine play and strength awakened in me, how hope and self-trust showed up on a difficult journey home, and why the phrase “you’re going to be okay” is becoming such a powerful anchor in my life.This is an episode about re-fathering yourself, making room for sensitivity, and discovering that masculine presence can be loving, simple, honest and deeply healing. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

When I’m under pressure, I tend to contract. I want to get things right, map everything out, stay in control and avoid mistakes. I take things seriously.But improvisation keeps reminding me that life often feels lighter (or less costly) another way - through play, experimentation, small offers, and seeing what comes back.Fresh out of an improv intensive in London, join me for an exploration the difference between perfectionism and playfulness, between trying to force the “right” answer and letting something emerge through curiosity, responsiveness and trust. This lands especially strongly for me in my business right now, but it applies just as much to your relationships, career, creativity and life in general.If you’re someone who gets tight, serious or over-responsible when things matter, this episode might come as relief. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

After months of rebuilding structure and steadiness in my life, I find myself on a new exploration: what does it really mean to be with my experience, rather than fix it, analyse it, distract from it, or turn it into a story - now I feel safe enough to truly feel it?In this episode, I explore the feminine quality of “being with” - the soft, receptive, relational capacity to stay present with feelings as they move through us. Not becoming the grief, ecstasy, loneliness or fear. Not trying to solve it. Just being with it.I talk about the difference between containment and flow, masculine and feminine, structure and surrender - and how both seem necessary for healing. I share what I’m discovering about vulnerability, nervous system safety, self-leadership, and the subtle art of letting emotions move without getting swept away by them.This is a live exploration of softening towards yourself, unfinishedness, and the possibility that maybe nothing needs to be done with your feelings except to let them move through you and onwards. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

Come along for an improvised exploration of this strange, unexpected chapter of life: the grief of not being where I once expected to be, the freedom (and loneliness) of living outside the conventional script, and the quiet reality of building an unconventional life while many people around me are immersed in marriage, children, careers and family life.We’ll talk about the emotional texture of this experience - the sense that life is not supposed to look like this, the loss of structures I once assumed would hold me, and the way middle age seems to bring old wounds, deeper self-reflection and inner work to the surface. I also touch on friendship, solitude, self-reparenting, ageing, visibility, youthfulness, and the gifts that can come with knowing yourself more clearly. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

After months of building safety, structure and steadiness in my life, I’ve found myself in a new inquiry: what does it really mean to be with my experience, rather than fix it, analyse it, distract from it or turn it into a story?In this episode, I explore the feminine quality of “being with” - the soft, receptive, relational capacity to stay present with feelings as they move through us. Not becoming the grief, the loneliness or the fear. Not trying to solve it. Just being with it.I talk about the difference between containment and flow, masculine and feminine, structure and surrender - and how both seem necessary for healing. I share what I’m discovering about vulnerability, nervous system safety, self-leadership, and the subtle art of letting emotions move without getting swept away by them.This is a live exploration of softness, unfinishedness, and the possibility that maybe nothing needs to be done with our feelings except to let them be here.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your inner world, or sensed that there must be another way besides fixing, analysing or powering through, this one might land. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

After a turbulent season of life, I’ve found myself saying something surprising:Life is boring right now - and that’s a good thing.In this episode, I explore the connection between safety, trust, rhythm and the capacity to receive more of the good things in life. I share what I’m learning about nervous system healing, why unpredictability can keep us stuck in survival mode, and how a slower, steadier, more “boring” life can become the very thing that helps joy, creativity and opportunity return. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

In this episode, I explore a side of boundaries (what’s a yes or no in life) that doesn’t get talked about enough: the boundaries we set with ourselves.We often think of boundaries as something we use with other people - saying no, protecting our energy, asserting ourselves, eliminating toxicity or challenging behaviour. But what I’m discovering is that if I can’t hold a boundary with myself, it’s very hard to do it cleanly with anyone else.I’ll share what it feels like when you hit a solid no. For me that happened thiS morning, when I noticed how a business strategy I’d been using - cold outreach emailing - left me feeling drained, rejected, and quietly miserable. I’d been pushing through it with willpower, telling myself it was “good for me” and “necessary.”But my body said something very different.So I listened.And what emerged was a clear, grounded, self-respecting no. Which weirdly, led to a clear yes later. More trust and more alignment with your self, and by extension - othersI want more of that, perhaps you do too. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

Sometimes the very thing that brings you to life is the first thing to fall away when life gets challenging. In this episode, I explore why people drift away from the things they love - like improv, play, creativity, connection - just when they may need them most. I unpack the story that says you have to be in the ‘right mood’ before you’re allowed to show up, and why that might not be true. This is about resistance, aliveness, low-mood, being real, and the possibility that you don’t need to arrive cheerful, polished or ‘up for it’ to take part. You might just need to arrive as you are. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com