Beyond Your Number

Enneagram Types 5 through 9 each need a different way to journal. Damon and Kelly break down what actually works for each type.The 5 learns to journal like a researcher, connecting what they notice to how they actually feel. The 6 names fears, separates facts from anxiety, and builds evidence they can trust themselves. The 7 needs journaling to feel like an adventure instead of a chore, with quick prompts instead of a blank page. The 8 just needs permission to write the honest truth, no prompts required. The 9 uses journaling to finally hear their own voice above everyone else's opinion.Kelly shares her own daily journaling practice after almost 20 years, and Damon asks the questions you are probably thinking. Whether you journal every day or have not started yet, this episode gives you a starting point built for your number.This is Part 2 of a two part series. Catch up on Part 1 covering Types 1 through 4 in the previous episode.New episodes of Beyond Your Number drop every Wednesday.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Journaling isn't one-size-fits-all. Damon and Kelly break down how each Enneagram type can journal in a way that actually fits how they process life, not a blank page that feels intimidating.Type 1, the editor, often turns journaling into another place to self-critique. Kelly introduces The Appreciation Journal, built around gratitude and release instead of another list of self-improvement goals.Type 2, the relational journaler, tends to fill the page with everyone else. This episode introduces The Me Journal, a space built entirely around a 2's own feelings, needs, and wants.Type 3, the time traveler, is a natural list maker, even in a journal. Kelly shares why The Experience Journal, like a 5-year journal, helps 3s track feelings instead of accomplishments.Type 4, the poet, needs room to create, not a lined page and a prompt. This episode covers The Creative Journal, and why a 4's page might look more like art than words.Damon also shares a story about his wife's six years of daily journaling about their son, and why she stopped exactly when she did.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Type 7s avoid pain with positivity. Type 8s avoid vulnerability with anger. Type 9s avoid conflict by disappearing. Damon and Kelly wrap up the Feelings series by covering three types in one episode. Type 7s outrun grief and sadness by staying focused on the positive, but the difficult emotions catch up eventually. Type 8s use anger as a bodyguard for fear, hurt, and betrayal underneath. Type 9s go quiet on their own preferences and avoid conflict to keep the peace, even internally.For each type, they walk through what the avoidance sounds like day to day, questions to ask yourself, and healthy practices to start processing instead of pushing feelings aside. Kelly's line from this episode says it best: feelings are fast, they catch up.This closes out the four part Feelings series. Catch up on Types 1 and 2, 3 and 4, and 5 and 6 if you missed them.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Enneagram 5s and 6s share the same core fear, but it shows up in almost opposite ways. Damon and Kelly dig into what each type quietly avoids feeling and why.For 5s, the struggle is vulnerability and the fear of not knowing. Instead of processing emotions, 5s often retreat into their heads, gather more information, or withdraw and isolate. Damon and Kelly talk through what it actually looks like to notice emotion in the body instead of just thinking about it, and why sharing something before you have it all figured out is a growth step for this type.For 6s, the fear is less obvious. It is not trusting safety or calm when it shows up. Healthy 6s can feel unsettled by good news because their brain is scanning for what could go wrong next. Damon and Kelly unpack the difference between evidence based fear and imagined fear, and how celebrating past resilience helps 6s build real trust in themselves.Whether you are a 5, a 6, or you live or work with one, this episode gives practical language and questions to help both types move toward more emotional health.This episode is part of an ongoing series looking at the feelings each Enneagram type tends to avoid.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Threes and Fours process feelings in opposite directions: one moves fast to outrun them, the other gets pulled under by them. This episode breaks down both.For Type 3, failure is the feeling that's hardest to sit with, along with sadness, shame, and a quiet sense of emptiness. Kelly explains why "I'm fine" is rarely the whole story for a Three, and Damon and Kelly dig into questions like who am I without accomplishing something and what emotion did I push aside this week.Type 4 struggles in the opposite direction. Contentment and ordinary happiness are the hard feelings to access. Fours also tend to become their emotions ("I am sad") instead of experiencing them ("I feel sad"), which makes it harder to move through what they're feeling. Kelly offers a reframe that helps separate the emotion from identity.Both types get practical tools: journaling that tracks feelings instead of to-do lists, letting trusted people see the real version of you, and building in rest that doesn't have to be earned.If you're a Three or a Four, or you love one, this episode gives language for what's happening under the surface and a few questions worth asking yourself this week.Next week: Types 5 and 6.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Every person has feelings they would rather not feel. This new series starts with Ones and Twos and the emotions running quietly under the surface.For Type 1, anger usually shows up first, but it is a secondary emotion. Underneath it you will often find hurt, exhaustion, and disappointment. Kelly walks through the questions that help a One name what is really going on, like what am I actually angry about and where am I holding myself to an impossible standard.Type 2 tends to track everyone else's feelings while staying disconnected from their own. The tell is a quiet "I'm okay" after a night of pouring into everyone else. The key question for a Two is simple but hard: what do I actually need right now?Damon (a Nine who claims to have no feelings) and Kelly keep it honest and a little funny as they break down what processing an emotion actually looks like: pausing, naming it, noticing it in your body, and taking a next step.If you have a One or a Two in your life, or you are one, this is a practical look at the feelings that drive behavior and how to work with them instead of around them.Next week: Types 3 and 4.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Wrapping up the summer series with the final three types: 7, 8, and 9. Learn how Enneagram Sevens, Eights, and Nines each define an ideal summer, and where their growth edge shows up along the way.Sevens want freedom, variety, and adventure. Damon and Kelly talk through last-minute trips, festivals, boat days, and why FOMO hits hard for a Seven stuck in a routine. The growth edge: slow down, stay present, and finish what you start.Eights bring big energy and intensity to everything they do. Lake weekends, competitive games, and international travel are Eight favorites, along with a real need to let others take the lead sometimes. The growth edge: rest without guilt and make space for emotions.Nines crave comfort, ease, and simple pleasures. Think porches, easy road trips, and backyard barbecues. Damon shares a personal story about nearly opting out of a family vacation decision altogether. The growth edge: initiate plans, speak up for what you want, and stay engaged instead of drifting.Whether you're a 7, 8, 9, or just trying to understand the people around you this summer, this episode closes out the series with practical, relatable takeaways for every number.New episodes every Wednesday.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

What does a perfect summer look like for Enneagram Types 4, 5, and 6? Damon and Kelly break down how each type actually wants to spend the season, from road trips to rainy days.Type 4s want a summer with depth and beauty, not just another trip everyone else is taking. Kelly shares why Fours crave meaningful experiences over trendy ones, and how to find joy even when plans don't go perfectly.Type 5s need a low key summer with room to recharge. Hear why solo road trips, quiet lake mornings, and stargazing appeal to Fives, plus why connection still matters even for the most independent type.Type 6s want a summer that's planned, prepared, and safe. Damon and Kelly talk contingency plans, dependable traditions, and why a little planned spontaneity might be exactly what a Six needs.Whether you're a 4, 5, 6, or vacationing with one, this episode will help you understand what makes summer feel restful and good for each type.New episodes of Beyond Your Number every Wednesday.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Summer brings out a different side of every Enneagram type. In this episode, Damon and Kelly break down how Types 1, 2, and 3 approach summer break, vacations, and rest.Type 1s want a productive, well planned summer that still leaves room to relax. Type 2s crave connection through cookouts, lake days, and girls trips, but need to watch for burnout. Type 3s want a summer that looks as good as it feels, with bucket list trips and fitness goals, while learning to unplug from the need to perform.Damon and Kelly share real examples from their own friends, families, and trips, plus practical tips for each type to enjoy a more balanced summer. This is part one of a series. Types 4 through 9 are coming in future episodes.If you are new to the Enneagram or want help identifying which type fits you, this episode gives a clear picture of how personality shapes the way we rest, plan, and connect during the summer months.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Are you an Enneagram 2, 3, or 4? In this live episode, Damon and Kelly break down the heart triad and help you identify your type through a game of Enneagram bingo.Recorded in front of a live audience, this one covers the three heart types in depth. The Type 2 (the loving person), motivated by the need to be loved and to serve others. The Type 3 (the effective person), driven by achievement and the need to avoid failure. And the Type 4 (the original person), motivated by the need to be special and authentically understood.For each type you'll hear the superpower, the kryptonite, and the growth edge. Connection and overextension for 2s. Achievement and performance-based identity for 3s. Creativity and comparison for 4s.Plus practical ways to support each type at work, the difference between a Beaver 3 and a Peacock 3, why a 3's closet tells you they're not a 1, and a quick intro to wings for anyone whose bingo card came up half full.Whether you already know your number or you're still figuring it out, this episode gives you real language for understanding the people you live and work with.New episodes every Wednesday.DOWNLOAD THE HEART TRIAD BINGO CARD HEREFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Every person you work with has a different way of thinking, deciding, and reacting under stress. The Enneagram gives you a map for all of it.Damon and Kelly recorded this live at the Homebase Conference in Columbia, Missouri, speaking to real estate professionals. But the framework they teach applies anywhere people are making decisions under pressure, whether that's a sales conversation, a negotiation, a team meeting, or a difficult client interaction.Every type shows up differently when the stakes are high. The Type 1 needs things done right. The Type 2 is thinking about everyone else at the table. The Type 3 wants to win and move fast. The Type 6 is already asking what could go wrong.They walk through all 9 types, the 3 centers of intelligence, and a practical framework called DEAL to help you communicate better, build trust faster, and reduce the friction that derails decisions.If you work with people, this one is for you.Topics covered: all 9 Enneagram types, gut/heart/head triads, reading people under stress, communication styles, the DEAL framework, Enneagram motivations.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Why does the same disagreement feel completely different to a Type 8 versus a Type 9? Your Enneagram type shapes how you react.Damon and Kelly walk through the knee-jerk conflict response for all nine Enneagram types and what to do instead. Plus, the 20-minute rule for getting untriggered.Quick guide to each type's conflict response:Type 1: Criticizes others or themselves Type 2: Becomes overly helpful or manipulates Type 3: Spins the situation to avoid failure Type 4: Withdraws emotionally Type 5: Detaches and goes silent Type 6: Fires off endless questions Type 7: Escapes through distraction or humor Type 8: Intensifies and pushes harder Type 9: Avoids, numbs, or accommodatesWhat you will learn:The automatic conflict response baked into each type Why criticism, withdrawal, escape, or accommodation can damage relationships. How to pause and respond instead of react.Damon shares a moment where he told a room full of people "I am not where you all are" and why that one sentence worked better than silence or argument. Kelly explains how knowing your conflict response, and your team's, turns destructive arguments into constructive ones.Whether you are navigating a hard conversation at work, a disagreement with your spouse, or just trying to understand why your coworker shuts down while you want to push forward, this episode gives you a practical map.Mentioned in this episode: The Path Between Us by Suzanne StabileNew episodes every Wednesday.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

How do you communicate better through your Enneagram type? Each number has one habit to slow down. Here is the breakdown for Types 1 through 9.Kelly and Damon use James 1:19 (quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry) as the lens for this episode, walking through one specific slow-down practice for each Enneagram type.What each type should slow down:Type 1: criticism. Notice the judgment and ask what is underneath it.Type 2: their yeses. Every yes is a no to something else.Type 3: everything. Rest is not optional, even when work feels energizing.Type 4: comparison. The envy cycle starts here.Type 5: hesitation. Share the insight before you have all of it.Type 6: fear. Process feelings on the way to worst-case scenario, not after.Type 7: reactivity. Borrow the gear before you buy it.Type 8: intensity. Even when you are right, the volume can lose the room.Type 9: agreement. Sure is not the same as actually agreeing.Kelly also shares a real-time story about slowing her 8 intensity during a credit card dispute, plus a shoutout to friends from a recent Enneagram and Communication workshop at Morning Glory Christian Counseling in Moberly, Missouri.If you have ever felt like your communication style works against you, this episode gives you one practical lever to pull, tailored to your number.New episodes every Wednesday.Opus 4.7AdaptiveFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Which Friends character shares your Enneagram type?Damon and Kelly walk through all 9 Enneagram types using characters from two beloved shows: the classic Friends and the Taylor Sheridan drama Landman.Friends gets the full treatment first. Monica the perfectionist 1, Rachel the image-driven 3, Phoebe the unique 4, Ross the wise 5, Chandler the loyal 6-wing-7, and Joey the joyful 7. Then they head to West Texas for Landman: attorney Rebecca Falcone, Angela and Tommy Norris, Monty Miller, Cooper, Ainsley, and engineer Dale Bradley.Along the way: why most TV characters reflect the unhealthy side of their number, Kelly's recent mission trip to Jamaica, and Damon's switch from ChatGPT to Claude.A fun, accessible way to learn the Enneagram through stories you already know.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

What if your favorite TV characters can actually help you understand personality better? In this episode, Damon and Kelly have some fun using the Enneagram lens to type characters from The Office, Friends, Parks and Rec, and Landman. Along the way, they compare their own takes with AI’s guesses, debate a few tough calls, and talk about why certain casts feel so complete and memorable.You’ll hear how different Enneagram patterns show up on screen, why some characters are obvious and others are harder to pin down, and how wings, stress, and personality dynamics shape the way fictional people solve problems, create tension, and make us laugh.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Are you born your Enneagram type, or does life shape it? In this episode, we finally stop trying to pick a side and walk through what both nature and nurture could look like for all nine types.Damon and Kelly break down how each type might show up from birth, how life experiences reinforce it, and the underlying “strategy” each type develops to feel loved, safe, or secure. If you’ve ever wondered why you are the way you are, or how much control you actually have to change, this conversation will help you connect the dots between your wiring and your story. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Are you born with your Enneagram type, or is your personality shaped by family, environment, and early experiences? In this episode, Damon and Kelly dig into the nature vs nurture question through the lens of the Enneagram, childhood temperament, birth order, attachment, and growth. You’ll hear why this question matters, what psychology and lived experience suggest, and why your story still matters even if parts of your personality were set early.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

We’ve talked motivation, fear, and sabotage, and now Damon and Kelly bring the series in for a hopeful landing with real growth steps for every Enneagram type.You’ll hear what growth looks like for Types 1 through 9, from letting go of perfection, to asking directly for help, to resting without earning it, to staying present in discomfort, speaking up, and taking action. If you have ever wondered what real change actually looks like for your number, this episode gives you clear next steps you can start practicing right away.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Every Enneagram type has a strength that helps them shine, until it gets overused and starts causing damage. In this episode, Damon and Kelly unpack how each type’s greatest gift can quietly turn into a defense mechanism, and how to spot that shift before it hurts your relationships, leadership, or self-awareness.From Type 1’s integrity becoming criticism, to Type 9’s peace becoming disappearance, this episode walks through all nine types with practical examples and honest reflection. You’ll learn where each type’s strength crosses the line, what that feels like for the people around them, and how to notice when your “superpower” is starting to sabotage you.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Okay BYN friends, this one’s a little ominous, in a helpful way. Damon and Kelly walk through the core fear underneath each Enneagram type, and how fear becomes a “silent motivator” that can hijack your tone, your choices, and your relationships when you’re not paying attention.What you’ll learn in this episode:Why core fears often run the show subconsciously, especially under stressThe core fear for each type (1–9) and what it tends to look like in real lifeA simple awareness prompt to use this week: “Where am I noticing this fear driving me?”Core fears by type:Type 1: fear of being wrong (or corrupt)Type 2: fear of being unwanted (and abandoned)Type 3: fear of being worthless (or unseen)Type 4: fear of having no identity (being ordinary)Type 5: fear of depletion (energy, time, resources)Type 6: fear of being unsupported (leading to loyal-to-a-fault patterns)Type 7: fear of pain (leading to avoidance and distraction)Type 8: fear of being harmed (driving control and protective walls)Type 9: fear of conflict (driving self-forgetting and disconnection)Share this one with a friend, unless you’re a 9 and you’re afraid it’ll cause conflict. (Damon said it.)Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Motivation is the “why” underneath what we do, and it’s one of the easiest Enneagram concepts to misunderstand. In this episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly break down Enneagram motivation in a clear, practical way, starting with the three triads and then moving into how each type expresses its core driver.You’ll learn why the Heart Triad (2–4) is driven by approval/validation, the Head Triad (5–7) is driven by security, and the Gut Triad (8–1) is driven by control, agency, and autonomy, plus what each group tends to scan for in relationships and teams. They also share simple growth practices for each triad, including how to catch the negative bias that makes motivation sound “bad,” and how to notice the early signals (especially anger and fear) before they run the show.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

We start with lint (dryer fires and all), then realize we mean Lent, and we actually go there.If you’ve never practiced Lent, or you grew up doing it and still aren’t sure what to do with it, this episode makes it simple. Kelly connects Jesus’ three temptations to the Enneagram triads (gut, head, heart), then gives practical Lent invitations for every Enneagram type (1–9), including whether you should give something up or add something in for the next 40 days. Spoiler, 7s get a “Sunday loophole,” 8s have to talk about feelings, and 9s… have to get uncomfortable.In this episode:Lent vs lint (yes, we went there)The 40 days, Ash Wednesday, and why Lent is about making spaceJesus’ three temptations mapped to gut, head, and heartPractical Lent ideas for Types 1–9 (including a real plan for 9s)Why 7s need a “Sunday loophole,” why 8s must process feelings, and why 1s should practice imperfectionIf you’ve never practiced Lent, or you’ve done it forever, this is a simple way to approach it using the Enneagram without making it weird.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

We’re back after an unplanned missed week, and yes, we finally tell the rest of the Jamaica story, including flight chaos, reroutes, and the unwanted souvenir of Influenza A.Then we wrap up our Subtypes series with Enneagram Type 9 (the Peacemaker) and why “if you ignore it, it will go away” is both relatable and… not really true. We break down the three 9 subtypes and how each one pursues peace, avoids conflict, and sometimes loses themselves in the process.In this episode:Jamaica travel recap: storms, rerouting, and why switching airlines saved the tripA 9’s core tension: peacekeeping vs true peaceSelf-Preservation 9: comfort, routine, numbing, and inertiaSocial 9: group harmony, inclusion, resentment, and disappearing in the crowdOne-to-One 9: merging, idealizing relationships, and “peace at any price”Practical growth moves for 9s, plus how to speak up before it all builds up!Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

This week’s episode isn’t fully evergreen, because it’s recorded right as Kelly is leading a VU service trip to Jamaica and a major winter storm is about to hit the Midwest. That real-time pressure makes it the perfect setup for Enneagram Type 8 subtypes, because you hear “8 energy” in action: decision-making, urgency, leadership, control, and the tension of letting go when the outcome is out of your hands.Damon and Kelly break down the three Type 8 instinctual variants (self-preservation, social, one-to-one), how each one protects and leads, and how the same strengths can turn into blind spots when intensity takes over.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why Type 8 is “the challenger,” and how control and strength show up under stressSelf-Pres 8 “Survivalist,” crisis-ready, protective, resourceful, and hard to slow downSocial 8 “Protector/Leader,” justice-oriented leadership, leading for the whole group, and “leading up”How Social 8 can mistype as a 2 (care for others, group focus, but different motive and energy)One-to-One 8 “Intense Protector,” fierce loyalty, deep bond when trust forms, and why intensity can intimidateThe shadow sides: stubbornness, steamrolling, impatience, possessiveness, and anger in close relationshipsSubtype quick reference:Self-Preservation 8: SurvivalistSocial 8: Protector, LeaderOne-to-One (Sexual) 8: Intense ProtectorFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Enneagram Type 7 subtypes are all about how joy, possibility, and future-focused energy show up through different instincts, and the differences are bigger than most people expect. In this episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly break down the self-preservation, social, and one-to-one Type 7, including why some Sevens look surprisingly “responsible,” why others fill every open space on the calendar, and why the intense one-to-one Seven can idealize experiences and relationships.In this episode, you’ll learn:SP 7 “Keeper of the Castle,” practical optimism, better follow-through, comfort and security as a priorityHow SP 7 can mistype as a 6 (same safety language, different motivation)Social 7 “Entertainer,” group energy, planning experiences, inclusivity, and over-committing sociallyWhy Social 7 can derail seriousness (class clown energy), and struggle with follow-throughOne-to-One 7, intensity, imagination, “next high” restlessness, and idealizing partners or experiencesSubtype quick reference:Self-Preservation 7: Keeper of the CastleSocial 7: The Entertainer (planner of entertainment)One-to-One (Sexual) 7: The Intense EnthusiastFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Enneagram Type 6 subtypes are all about safety and security, and they look very different depending on the instinct. In this episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly break down the self-preservation, social, and one-to-one Type 6, including why Six often gets confused with other types and how motivation clarifies what is really going on.In this episode, you’ll learn:What drives Type 6 (safety and security), and how loyalty flows from thatSelf-Pres 6 at home, routines, stability, and when “checking” becomes anxiety managementSocial 6 in groups, values, systems, and how they relate to rules and authorityOne-to-One 6 as the intense protector (and why it can look like an 8)Why 6 can get mistaken for 2 or 8, and how to spot the difference by motivationSubtype quick reference:Self-Preservation 6: Defender of the HomeSocial 6: Guardian of the CommunityOne-to-One (Sexual) 6: The WarriorFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Season 4 is here, it is 2026, and we start exactly how you would expect: a little off the rails. Damon declares a “set the bar low” resolution, Kelly introduces the better idea (rhythms over resolutions), and together they officially “jump the shark” before re-centering on Enneagram subtype layers. This episode focuses entirely on Type 5, breaking down the self-preservation, social, and one-to-one (sexual) expressions. You will hear how each Five manages energy, boundaries, knowledge, and connection, from the “Defender of the Castle” to the “Professor” to the “Intense Observer.” If you are a Five, love a Five, or work with a Five, this one will help you see the strengths clearly and catch the drift toward isolation, over-intellectualizing, or disappearing into the cave when overwhelmed.Type 5, Self-Preservation: “Defender of the Castle”Type 5, Social: “The Professor”Type 5, One-to-One (Sexual): “The Intense Observer”Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

We are officially off the rails. Kelly is campaigning hard for “baby AI” versions of us. After we recover, we get back to what actually matters: subtype layers. In this episode we break down Enneagram Types 3 and 4 through the self-preservation, social, and one-to-one lenses, naming the strengths and watch-outs for each subtype. If you have ever wondered why some Threes feel like tireless workers while others feel like performers, or why some Fours seem quietly self-contained while others feel like intense romantics, this episode will help you spot the patterns with more clarity and less judgment.Type 3Self-Preservation: The WorkerSocial: The Politician (or The Performer, “Peacock”)One-to-One: The Charmer (“The Magnet”)Type 4Self-Preservation: The Comfortable Withdrawer (“Comfortable Individual”)Social: The OutsiderOne-to-One: The Intense RomanticFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

In this episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly head into the Enneagram “bakery” and build out the full three-layer cake of subtypes for Types 1 and 2. Using the playful “Is It Cake?” metaphor, they show how each subtype can look completely different on the outside, even when the core number underneath is the same.Kelly walks through the Self-Preservation, Social, and One-to-One (sexual) subtypes for Type 1 (the Organizer, the Good Citizen, and the Crusader) and Type 2 (the Caretaker, the Host, and the Intimate Helper). Along the way they talk boards and bylaws, life-coach energy, over-helping, intensity in close relationships, and why motivation is the key to telling “is it Type 1, Type 2, or something else?”If you are a 1 or 2 (or love one), this conversation will help you spot your dominant subtype, recognize your growth edges, and appreciate the people in your life who organize, host, and love so deeply.Type 1Self-preservation 1: The OrganizerSocial 1: The Good CitizenOne-to-one (sexual) 1: The CrusaderType 2Self-preservation 2: The Caretaker (also called The Nurturer)Social 2: The Host (also called The Community Builder)One-to-one (sexual) 2: The Intimate HelperFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Damon and Kelly wrap up the self preservation section of the subtype series with Types 7, 8, and 9. They break down core motives, how self preservation shows up day to day (gear, routines, safety, control), healthy vs unhealthy patterns, and simple practices to grow without losing your type’s strengths. SP-7Healthy signs: content with what they have, enthusiastic and inspiring, practical about safety, steady rhythms that stave off boredom.Early drift: chasing newest gadgets for security, getting reckless with money, overfilling time to avoid boredom.SP-8Healthy signs: direct and no-nonsense, protective of others, self-reliant, quietly strong, helps empower people’s strengths.Early drift: steamrolling to “get it done,” hiding to avoid vulnerability, workaholic streaks, chasing status symbols.SP-9Healthy signs: practical and patient, peaceful presence, steady routines that truly refuel, fun-loving with wry humor, unselfish.Early drift: autopilot comforts and favorite replays, present-only focus stalling bigger aims, apathy or emotional shut-down, stubbornness.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

This classic Beyond Your Number replay walks through all nine Enneagram types. For each number, we name what we’re grateful for, then give one practical gratitude assignment to help you move from stuck to healthier patterns. Highlights: • 1: Thank three specific people to quiet the inner critic • 2: List three things you’re grateful for about yourself, say them aloud • 3: Do one enjoyable thing for its own sake, tell no one • 4: Identify three unique gifts and create visible reminders • 5: List what’s abundant and self-replenishing in your life • 6: Name recent moments of courage where you chose more than fear • 7: Choose one self-sustaining rhythm you care about • 8: Sit with a vulnerable area, practice gentleness, give thanks for what is • 9: Write an ad for yourself highlighting strengths and winsFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Today we continue our Enneagram subtype series and unpack the Self-Preservation instinct for Types 4, 5, and 6. Kelly explains how SP Fours pursue uniqueness through carefully curated “special” things, why SP Fives conserve time, energy, and resources, and how SP Sixes seek safety through alliances and preparation, including the phobic vs counterphobic expressions. Damon pushes for plain-language summaries, mistype clues, and real-life tells. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I a One or a Three… or an SP Four?” this one will help you sort it out.What you’ll learn:SP Four: authenticity, endurance, and why they can look like Ones or ThreesSP Five: minimalism, boundaries, and guarding energySP Six: security strategies, alliances, and phobic vs counterphobicQuick motivation checks to avoid common mistypesFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Kelly and Damon wade into the deep end of subtypes starting with the self-preservation (SP) instinct for Types 1, 2, and 3. You’ll learn how SP shapes motivation (not just behavior):SP One: striving for goodness, future-proofing with order and control, and why it can look like a Six.SP Two: playful, guarded, seeking love and protection and how that can mistype as a Seven.SP Three: “be the best, look modest,” working tirelessly for security while hiding the need for admiration.They revisit the “three-layer cake” (dominant, secondary, repressed instincts), clear up common mistyping with Sixes, and preview next week’s episode covering SP Types 4–6. If you’ve ever wondered why you plan, protect, or perform the way you do, this 401-level walkthrough will click.— Rate, follow, and share if this helped you spot your subtype!Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Kelly and Damon kick off a brand-new series on Enneagram subtypes, the instinctual variants that turn 9 core types into 27 flavors. This is the deep end: self-preservation (sp), social (so), and one-to-one/sexual (sx), plus the “three-layer cake” of dominant, secondary, and repressed instincts.In this episode:What sp/so/sx really mean, and how they shape each number’s styleThe “cake” model: why your dominant instinct runs on autopilot (and what to do about the blind spot)How subtypes explain look-alikes (e.g., a social Eight that resembles a Two)What’s next in the series: Week 1, Self-Pres (Types 1-9), Week 2—Social, Week 3, One-to-OneA quick reflection homework to help you spot your stackIf this helped, tap ★★★★★ on Apple/Spotify and share it with your Enneagram group.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Kelly and Damon unpack how a Type 9 processes “Be assertive” and why it can feel like a threat to calm rather than an invitation to contribute. Together they map common misreads, offer gentler phrases that work, and give Nines a simple reframe to keep their voice in the room.What’s inside:How “be assertive” can land as “start conflict” (and what to say instead)Gentle prompts that invite a Nine’s perspective without pressureA self-check for Nines: “Are they attacking my calm or making space for my voice?”Workplace & family scripts you can use todayFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

When you tell an Eight “calm down,” they often hear “you’re too much,” “you’re out of control,” or “I’m censoring you.” In this episode Kelly and Damon unpack why protectors (8s) lead with intensity, why that phrase lands as a threat to autonomy, and how to keep connection without dousing their fire. Try better scripts like: “I can tell this matters, can you help me understand what’s driving it?”, “Can we slow the pace so I can track with you?”, and “I’m listening; I just need a second to catch up.” We close with a reframe for 8s: “Is this about calming me down, or slowing things down to create understanding?”Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

This week we unpack Enneagram Sevens, the joy-bringers who can feel shut down when they hear, “Can you just be serious?” Kelly explains how that lands as “You’re too much,” “Your joy isn’t welcome,” or “We can’t take you seriously,”.We’ll give you better language that invites focus without killing the vibe:“I love your energy, can we shift gears for a minute? There’s something important I want to share.”“This might feel heavy, but I’d really value your perspective.”“This conversation may not be fun, but it matters to me.”Plus: a simple reframe for Sevens, Is this taking away my freedom, or deepening connection?, so seriousness doesn’t equal punishment. Practical, kind communication that keeps both delight and depth in the room.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Damon & Kelly break down how well-meant reassurances land for Enneagram Sixes (The Loyalists). When you say “Don’t worry” or “It’s fine,” a 6 often hears “You’re on your own.” We cover why that triggers alarm (not trust), what it communicates beneath the surface, and the exact, better phrases that build safety, collaboration, and momentum. What not to say to a 6:“Don’t worry about it.” / “It’s fine.” / “No big deal.”“You’re overreacting.” / “That’ll never happen.”“Trust me.” (with no details)Silence or moving on when they raise a concernWhat to say to a 6:“Walk me through what you’re seeing -  I want to understand.”“Thanks for flagging this; your questions help us both.”“Here’s what we know so far and the options (A/B). What risks do you see?”“Let’s map the risks and next steps together.”“You can trust me with this - you’re not on your own. When’s a good time to talk it through?”“We’re okay right now because [facts]. What did I miss?”It works! : Sixes build security through transparency and partnership. Clear facts + shared problem-solving lowers threat and raises trust.Reframe for Sixes: Is this lack of detail a real threat - or just a different communication style? Do I need more info, or absolute certainty no one can provide?Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Type Fives value space, clarity, and time to think, so “We need to talk” can sound like “prepare to be emotionally mugged.” In this Lost in Translation episode, Damon and Kelly break down what Fives often hear versus what we mean, and offer practical language that preserves autonomy, protects energy, and gets you the thoughtful input you want.You’ll hear:Why drop-ins and vague invites drain a Five’s “battery”The core misreads: I’m about to be overwhelmed, put on the spot, and trappedExact phrases to use instead, giving topic, timing, and expectations up frontA reframe Fives can use to tell discomfort from avoidanceClarity is kindness, especially with Fives.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

In this episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly unpack how silence, quick responses, or even well-intentioned pauses can land painfully with a Type 4. For Fours, depth, authenticity, and connection are everything and when we don’t respond, they can misinterpret it as rejection, abandonment, or being “too much.”We’ll explore why this happens, share personal stories, and offer practical ways to communicate so Fours feel seen, valued, and understood. If you have a Type 4 in your life (or if you are one) you’ll walk away with simple but powerful tools to strengthen connection and reduce miscommunication.What Not to Say (or Do) to a Type 4Silence with no explanation: heard as “You’re not worth responding to.”Ignoring their message (text or in person): feels like abandonment or rejection.Moving on too quickly after they share communicates “Your feelings don’t matter.”No acknowledgment of their depth or creativity feels like invisibility.Silent treatment experienced as punishment.What to Say Instead“I heard what you shared, and I just need a moment to think about it. I’m here with you.”“This really matters to me. I want to slow down so I can respond thoughtfully.”“Even though I’m quiet, I want you to know I care.”“I value your authenticity and creativity, thank you for sharing this with me.”“Let’s circle back tomorrow so I can give this the attention it deserves.”Reframe for the 4: Ask yourself, “Is this silence rejection, or is it reflection?”Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Threes often hear praise like “you’ve got it all together” as “you’re a fraud.” In this episode, Damon and Kelly unpack how seemingly harmless comments can trigger imposter syndrome for Enneagram 3s, and what to say instead. Learn phrases that affirm a Three’s worth beyond performance, how to set/receive boundaries with care, and simple ways to show appreciation that actually lands. Plus, a few real-life stories (porch mums included) and a reminder that rest, not more doing, is the path to health for 3s.Things to say to a type 3:“I love the heart and integrity you bring to this.”“I value you for who you are, not just what you get done.”“You don’t have to impress me, you’re already enough.”“Thank you for all you did today, and even if nothing got checked off, you still matter to me.”Several more in this episode...Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

We’re back from break and digging into Type 2 (The Helper) in our Lost in Translation series. What you mean as a simple boundary,“Thanks, I’m good”,can land as rejection to a Two. Damon and Kelly unpack common misinterpretations, offer exact phrases that keep connection and clarity, and share a few “gut triad” confessions about learning to ask for help.What gets “Lost in Translation” for Type 2When you say “I don’t need your help,” a Two may hear:“You’re not valuable.”“You’re making this about you.”“You’re too much / smothering.”“We’re fine without you.”“You crossed a boundary.”Say It Better (Exact Scripts)Use/adjust these word-for-word:Affirm + Boundary“Thank you, that was really thoughtful. For this one, I need to handle it myself.”“I can tell you care. I’m okay for now, but I appreciate you checking.”Affirm + Future Invite“You’re great at spotting needs. I’m covered at the moment; if that changes, I’ll reach out.”“Could we hold off for now while I get my arms around it? If I need a hand later, I’ll let you know.”Normalize Support“I’m learning to ask for help better. If that comes up here, you’ll be the first I ask.”Why this worksType 2s link worth to being helpful. Appreciation + clarity keeps connection intact while honoring boundaries.Reframes & ReflectionFor Speakers (all types):“Am I rejecting the help or the person?”“Can I name their intention before I say no?”“Do I actually need help and pride is answering for me?”For Type 2s:“Is this a ‘no’ to the task or a ‘no’ to me?”Truth to practice: “I’m wanted for what I do, and loved for who I am.”One-week PracticePick one script above and use it once this week.If you’re a Two, allow yourself one clean no and receive one no without a story.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

We’re dipping back into the archive with a foundation episode on the Triads—Gut (8-9-1), Heart (2-3-4), and Head (5-6-7). Damon and Kelly break down what each triad prioritizes, the core emotion it wrestles with (anger, shame, fear), and how that shapes decision-making, relationships, and self-care.You’ll hear practical prompts (like “What was I angry about today?” for Gut types), why Heart types often read your feelings before their own, and how Head types can get stuck in analysis paralysis. It’s a clear, friendly primer you’ll want to revisit and share.Triads at a glanceGut (8, 9, 1): independence, visceral “felt-sense,” quick to act (ready–fire–aim).Growth prompts: “What was I angry about today?” Notice body cues (shoulders, stomach, jaw). Add a pause before acting; check head + heart.Heart (2, 3, 4): relationships, recognition, reading the room; often tuned to others’ feelings first.Growth prompts: Schedule solitude; name your feelings; practice “I’m worthy even when I’m not helping/performing/standing out.”Head (5, 6, 7): thinking, planning, safety; vulnerable to analysis paralysis.Growth prompts: Set decision deadlines; move the body (walks, workouts, nature); notice what fear is asking for—and act anyway.Decision-making tips by triadGut: Add thinking time + a quick feelings check.Heart: Ask, “What do I feel and need—apart from others’ reactions?”Head: Limit research; choose one next step; time-box the decision.Try this this weekJournal one line per day:Gut: “Today I felt anger when… and I felt it in my…”Heart: “Today my feeling was… not just others’.”Head: “Today I decided ___ by ___ o’clock and took the first step.”Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Today we’re revisiting a deep-dive conversation from our Enneagram U days, all about the Harmony Triads.Damon and Kelly unpack this advanced Enneagram teaching, showing how each triad (3-6-9, 2-5-8, and 1-4-7) holds a unique way of experiencing the world through head, heart, and gut. You’ll hear the humor, real-life tangents, and even Damon’s skepticism as Kelly explains why the triads matter, what each number has “lost,” and how these insights can become transformative rather than just prescriptive.If you’ve ever wondered how to move beyond surface-level Enneagram knowledge into richer growth and connection, this episode is for you.You’ll learn:What the three Harmony Triads are (3-6-9, 2-5-8, and 1-4-7).Why each number in the triads has “lost” something important and how that shapes their struggles.How Threes, Sixes, and Nines help us thrive in everyday life.Why Twos, Fives, and Eights wrestle with rejection and how they seek power in relationships.How Ones, Fours, and Sevens long for the ideal world, and how frustration shapes their journey.The difference between prescriptive Enneagram teachings and the more transformative work of the triads.Why embracing frustration and noticing what’s lost is part of real growth.Whether this is your first exposure to Harmony Triads or you’re an Enneagram 401 student, you’ll walk away with practical insights, a few laughs, and plenty to process.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

While we take a short break from our Lost in Translation series, we’re re-releasing one of our most loved episodes: Motivations.In this conversation, Damon and Kelly lay the foundation for understanding the Enneagram by exploring what truly motivates each type. It’s not just what you do that defines your number...it’s why you do it. From the One’s drive to do what’s right, to the Nine’s longing for peace, this episode helps you see what’s beneath the surface of your own personality and those around you.Whether you’re new to the Enneagram or just need a refresher, this replay will help you listen with fresh ears and new insight.In this episode of Beyond Your Number (recorded under our earlier name, Enneagram U), Damon and Kelly dig into the motivations behind each Enneagram type.You’ll learn:Why the Enneagram is more about why than what you do.How each number’s motivation shapes their choices, strengths, and struggles.The difference between healthy and unhealthy motivations.How to spot your own underlying drive by paying attention to time, energy, and patterns.Why awareness of your “dark side” motivation helps keep you balanced.This is a foundational conversation that still resonates, and it’s a perfect refresher as we continue forward with Lost in Translation in a few weeks.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

We’re kicking off our new Lost in Translation series, all about how what you say isn’t always what the other person hears. This week, we focus on Enneagram Type 1: what they hear, why it happens, and how to speak in a way that builds connection instead of frustration. Learn the hooks that trigger them, better ways to phrase your thoughts, and how curiosity can soften their inner critic.You’ll learn:The common “hooks” that trigger Type 1s (and why phrases like “It’s not a big deal” can be landmines).The deeper reasons Type 1s misinterpret certain messages.Practical phrases to use that validate their passion and preserve the relationship.How curiosity can help soften their inner critic and lead to better mutual understanding.Why both speakers and listeners share responsibility in keeping communication clear.Whether you’re a Type 1, live with one, or work alongside one, this conversation will help you avoid getting lost in translation.Next Week: We explore Type 2 in our Lost in Translation series.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Ever tried to resolve a conflict only to end up in a verbal boxing match? This week, Damon and Kelly wrap up their 4-part conflict series by exploring the critical roles of speaker and listener, and why most of us play both badly.You’ll learn how to:Take turns (like, really take turns)Use “I” statements without sounding cheesyAvoid emotional ambushes and “speaker-in-waiting” modeCreate safety and clarity when emotions are running highAsk better questions like “What are you feeling?” or “Tell me more”With humor, practical tools, and a little awkward role play (yes, Damon actually stayed quiet), this episode will give you real-world strategies to handle conflict constructively.Next week kicks off our brand new series Lost in Translation, where we dive into how each Enneagram type hears what you say, and what they think you meant.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

This episode is the third in our conflict mini-series, if you missed the last two, definitely go back and catch them! Two weeks ago, we walked through six steps for healthy conflict. Last week, we hit the self-sabotage pitfalls that derail it. And this week? We're laying out a step-by-step path for self-regulation, the actual work you can do before the conversation even begins.Whether it's naming that you're triggered, taking 20 minutes to calm your brain, or journaling out what you really feel (instead of reacting from anger), this episode gives you a clear, practical roadmap. Conflict doesn't have to be chaotic and knowing your number just helps you navigate it better.Oh, and yes... Scott’s Tots comes up. You’ve been warned.Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Last week, we laid out a six-step process for navigating conflict, but let’s be honest, sometimes the real struggle is what happens before the steps even start. In this follow-up episode, Damon and Kelly unpack the emotional landmines that often sabotage our best intentions in conflict.From blame to emotional avoidance, they explore five self-sabotage traps and how each Enneagram type might fall into them. Whether you're a Nine trying to keep the peace, a One trying to make it right, or a Four deep in your feelings, this episode will help you recognize what’s getting in the way, and why it matters.Stay tuned next week for the follow-up: how to move toward emotional self-regulation when conflict arises.The five emotional traps that sabotage healthy conflictHow your Enneagram number may fall into specific pitfallsWhy “blame” is emotionally satisfying — and what it costs youThe subtle ways we numb, bury, or get stuck in unhealthy patternsHow recognizing self-sabotage is the first step toward changeFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Conflict doesn’t have to mean shouting matches or broken relationships.This week on Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly dive into a topic that touches every relationship—conflict. They unpack how different Enneagram numbers experience disagreements, why some avoid it while others charge in, and how even small differences in opinion can feel like big battles for certain types.Kelly shares a practical six-step roadmap for moving from destructive arguments to healthy, constructive conflict—including tips on picking the right time and place (hint: maybe skip the bedroom), why driving or walking might help guys talk, and how simply being heard can sometimes be enough resolution.Whether you’re passive, aggressive, or somewhere in between, this episode is packed with tools to help you navigate disagreements without losing your voice—or blowing up bridges.Set a time and place for discussionName the issue (on your own)Explore possible solutions (on your own)Discuss perspectives and solutions togetherChoose a resolution togetherSet a time and place to evaluateFollow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997Follow us on Spotify and leave a review:https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa