Can you see what I see?

There is no one size fits all for most situations...... but really getting the ENERGY of "Sorry"  is very empowering - and creative!  Coming from a place of vulnerability in our hearts when we say sorry, is actually putting us in a place of "the birthplace of creativity and change" (to quote Dr Brene Brown!)To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

What does it mean to be needy?  Anxiety and constant worrying can leave us feeling needy and insecure.What are some of the signs of being needy?Are we confident that we can find the words to express our own needs?  And then to make sure we have boundaries around them.How can we stop being insecure and build self-esteem?To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

We cannot do it in isolation - we have a basic need of interdependence, and that involves Respect and Trust.There are many "smaller projects" within our Project Life - but each of them have things in common:being clear on what our vision is, what it will look and feel like when we have achieved it, and understanding WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO US???take time to plan and prepare - being clear on what our goals, actions and milestones are going to be, who can empower or assist us, what might be some of the things that might stop me, and how can I overcome them?taking action - checking in, am I taking the daily actions I need to stay on track and achieve my goal, am I achieving my milestones, what challenges and breakthroughs am I having, do I need to look at any of my "beliefs" to see if they are still serving me?  Why is achieving my vision important to me?take time to celebrate ourself for achieving our goals and vision;  and others who empowered us to achieve them;  what worked well and what didn't work as well as I would have liked;  what am I going to do with the results I produced, and what do I want now?To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

How many times have you thought "I knew that didn't feel right when I did/said it!"What if we are all here for our own unique journeys, and they are not meant to look and sound and feel like someone else's?Does it feel "light" for you to pursue SUCCESS as we are currently encouraged to see it...... the pursuit of money, position, status, power, possessions, holidays, cars, caravans, boats....????"You are not your mother, your father, your history, or your cultural influences.  You are uniquely and originally You.  Be bold and daring and fearless and unconventional.  Be willing to use your voice in service to our Soul.  Go on.  Rock that damn boat.  The wave you create might just change the world!"To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

our different "personality" parts have a knack of showing up when we are under pressure, they all want to get into the driver's seat of our lives.  Christmas can be a time for all of them to show up together :( it is our thoughts, feelings and emotions that can indicate to us we are operating from a "personality" part.what if we aren't our "personality" parts, but a beautiful BEING that only knows peace and harmony and possibilities?and what about that "inner critic" that also shows up - it is different from a "personality" part.how stifling is judgment????  and how can "making a routine" actually cause us to feel like a failure...... WHAT ELSE IS POSSIBLE?To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

The opposite of abundance is scarcity.......  how do you feel when you come from the energy of "scarcity", and how would you be thinking mentally when you come from the energy of "abundance".Beliefs can influence whether we look at life through the eyes of Abundance vs Scarcity.Some ways to create an abundance mindset:     recognise the power of your thoughts;  practice gratitude, surround yourself with people who have an abundance mentality......."No Bad Parts" by Richard C. Schwartz, PhD.To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

Availability of Beck's book:https://www.amazon.com.au/Gotta-Tell-Ya-You-This-ebook/dp/B08CMZRR63 https://www.ebay.com/p/8039276145 Peter Levinehttps://traumahealing.org/ To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

There are many advantages of social learning - we all use it naturally every day, consciously and unconsciously.  But sometimes it can be used in ways that is not in the best interests of us or others.  "Social condition" has been defined as characteristics of both social and physical environments at the individual, household, and community levels that are potentially modifiable - so that includes homes, schools, workplaces, and neighborhoods that could be shaped by policies (at least in theory, but as we know, without political will it isn't going to happen).Media and marketing industry is probably responsible for one of the most common (and pervasive) examples of social learning situations are television commercials...... and probably now social media.But this is how Hitler and Goebbels, who was appointed Hitler's Minister for Public Enlightenment and Propaganda, were so effective in exploiting the German people's discontent after World War I..... Goebbels had complete jurisdiction over the content of German newspapers, magazines, books, music, films etc - his mission was to censor all opposition to Hitler and present the Nazi Party in the most positive light.... at the same time stirring up hatred for Jewish people.  We all know how that ended!Is it time to think about how we form our own opinions these days?  Are we influenced by media and marketing?  Are we making others wrong because we think they are responsible for us not feeling so good?Time to trust our own Awareness.....To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

Youtube Dr Gabor Mate "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts"   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07nOScAHnXIYoutube CPTSD Procrastination by Crappy Childhood Fairy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykZiTugimFU Book by Dr Gabor Mate:  When the Body Says NoTo connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

Dr Deepak Chopra on how to be more present, and not be overwhelmed with life...... Deepak is interviewed by Jay Shetty who has a Podcast "On Purpose"     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJoeh6itLUA Simon Sinek has very reasonable programs about "finding your Why".....      www.simonsinek.com The Good Life:  What Makes a Life Worth Living? (Hugh Mackay)Take Charge of Your Life:  how to get what you need with Choice Theory Psychology (William Glasser, MD)To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

Is it a value, or is it a belief?  Sometimes they are intertwined/confused.What if we just needed to work on our Awareness which would make us making conscious choices in every moment about what would create greater for us and others?The Good Life:  What Makes a life worth living (Hugh Mackay)Take Charge of Your Life:  how to get what you need with Choice Theory Psychology (William Glasser, MD)Dr Lynette Maguire  www.nowgeneration.com.au To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/termshttps://dfdx.us/core-values-quiz/

What Happened to You?  Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing (Dr Bruce D Perry and Oprah Winfrey)When The Body Says No:  The Cost of Hidden Stress (Dr Gabor Mate)The Divided Mind:  The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders (Dr John E Sarno)The Mind-Gut Connection:  How the Hidden Conversation Within Our Bodies Impacts Our Mood, Our Choices, and Our Overall Health (Dr Emeran MayerI Thought It Was Just Me (But It isn't) (Dr Brene Brown)To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomOther podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

True Kindness is being in a space of no judgment, offering assistance ONLY when it is requested or agreed, and delivered in a way that it can be received, rather than telling the other person your point of view.  Bastardised kindness is when there are hidden agendas, an intent to control, there is an ulterior motive, and particularly when it leaves the other person with a twisted feeling in their gut.  Gas lighting happens in everyday life, in the workplace, not just in a DV relationship.... when it causes us to question our own reality - what we know to be true.  It happens when when we are being one of "petals", not coming from the "centre of the flower".The Divided Mind:  The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders (Dr John Sarno)What Happened To You?  Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing (Dr Bruce D Perry and Oprah Winfrey)When The Body Says No:  The Cost of Hidden Stress (Dr Gabor Mate)To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomOther podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

If grandparents take this responsibility on from a place of conscious choice, there is a "cleanness" around it...... and this usually comes from an awareness that it really does take a village to raise a child.But if the choice is from a place of necessity.... "I have to do this, there is noone else"...... it is a form of martyrdom, and it limits other  possibilities.By getting into the centre of "your flower" (episode 1), and asking the question "would it generate and create greater for me to do this?" could have a very different impact on both the grandparent and the grandchild.When The Body Says No:  The Cost of Hidden Stress (Dr Gabor Mate)The Mind-Gut Connection:  How the hidden conversation within our bodies impacts our mood, our choices, and our overall health (Dr Emeran Mayer)What Happened To You?  Conversations on Trauma, Resilience and Healing (Dr Bruce D Perry and Oprah Winfrey)To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomOther podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

It has been encouraged and accepted as "natural" over lifetimes that we human beings are in competition with each other, or are being compared with others to make a judgment as to whether we are "successful" or "worthy".   We have all been indoctrinated to some extent by our parents, school, media, society, workplaces etc.   This has set up a polarity of good/bad and right/wrong...... which makes someone right and someone wrong.  As a result, separation occurs - within ourself, in relationships, workplaces, in all aspects of life.  It stops us from being ALL of the magic that we are.  And we can make a choice in every moment to be that.Trauma in childhood can cause us to not feel safe, secure and supported, so we are unable to have the tough conversations that are so important in creating meaningful relationships.......  Dr Gabor Mate believes that all human beings have experienced trauma to some degree. A base need we have as human beings, is connection - and we all need it to thrive.So how do we connect from a place where we feel safe, secure and supported to be the magic we are?Song:  I Am Light by India.ArieIn An Unspoken Voice (Peter A Levine)Complex PTSD:  From Surviving to Thriving (Pete Walker)What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience and Healing (Dr Bruce D Perry and Oprah Winfrey)TraumaTrails:  Recreating Song Lines  (Judy Atkinson)The Mind-Gut Connection:  How the Hiddenj Conversation Within Our Bodies Impacts Our Mood, Our Choices, and Our Overall Health (Dr Emeran Mayer)Dare To Lead:  brave work, tough conversations, whole hearts (Brene Brown)To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomOther podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

"Trauma is about loss of connection - to ourselves, to our bodies, to our families, to others, and to the world around us.  This loss of connection is often hard to recognise, because it doesn't happen all at once.  It can happen slowly, over time, and we adapt to these subtle changes sometimes without even noticing them."  (Peter Levine)We see that loss of connection as a separation from ourselves.Our choices become limited as we avoid certain feelings, people, situations and places.  The result of this gradual constriction of freedom is the loss of vitality and potential for the fulfilment of our dreams....... it stops us from being the Magic of Us (episode 4).While it is true that all traumatic events are stressful, all stressful events are not traumatic.Dr Gabor Mate believes trauma is not what happened to you, but what happened in your body as a result of what happened.   Peter Levine agrees with this assessment ...... he says the body is the container of all of our sensations and feelings.  It is also the boundary separating us from our environment and from others.  This boundary gets ruptured in trauma so that we often feel raw and unprotected.  Skin is our first line of defence.References:Youtube - Vagus Nerve Reset to Release Trauma Stored in the BodyHealing Trauma:  A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of your Body  (Peter A Levine PhD)In An Unspoken Voice (Peter A Levine)Complex PTSD:  From Surviving to Thriving (Pete Walker)When The Body Says No:  The Cost of Hidden Stress (Dr Gabor Mate)What Happened to You:  Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing (Dr Bruce D Perry and Oprah Winfrey)To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

Regardless of whether it is a myth that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, smiling makes us feel happier.  Smiling and laughter help to temporarily reduce cortisol and adrenaline levels and stress - which improves our mood and energy levels..  Laughter yoga has the same effect as Pranayama breathing.With the pandemic, it has become hard for people to laugh these days.  Fear can push us into exhaustion and into a dystopian world - where we imagine a place in which EVERYTHING is unpleasant and bad.  This is a drip-feed of trauma - and we know the impact of trauma on our physical, mental, and emotional states.Sometimes we feel we can't have happiness, joy, and laughter when something "not great" is happening.  Laughter can expand our thinking to open up greater possibilities......  it can be the antidote of having the laser vision of survival which limits our choices.If you want to have a laugh, here is a link to a short video about the difference between men's brains and women's brains..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ6mVumHY9I To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

Everyone should have healthy boundaries".... and Cloud & Townsend guide us on what that might look like in all areas of our life, including family, friends, spouse, children, work, the digital age, and even ourself.If we don't have those healthy boundaries in place, it can be for many reasons including a fear of guilt, not being liked, losing the love or connection or approval of someone we care about.Sometimes we confuse "boundaries" with a perception that someone or some experience has not met a need we have (even if we don't name it like that!), and we might put up a wall - which brings a disconnection with a person or experience - so we shrink the possibilities for us and our life, our world becomes smaller.   It is important to have an awareness of energetic boundaries - this is powerful in being able to be fully present in situations which we might otherwise avoid.  You will know in every moment whether it is right for you to engage or not.Becoming trauma aware will help you understand whether the matter is one of boundaries, or whether a person/situation has provided you with an opportunity to heal a past trauma you didn't even know you had, which means you are back to the centre of our flower, or reconnected with your true self.Dr Gabor Mate YouTube video called “Discover Your True Self”   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ybld6IG1KtA  Boundaries:  When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control Of Your Life (Cloud & Townsend)Boundaries With Kids:  How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children (Cloud & Townsend)The Body Keeps The Score:  Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma (Bessel Van Der Kolk)In An Unspoken Voice (Peter A Levine)Complex PTSD:  From Surviving to Thriving (Pete Walker)When The Body Says No:  The Cost of Hidden Stress (Dr Gabor Mate)www.thewisdomoftrauma.com To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms

Control is both a noun (the power to influence or direct people's behaviour or the course of events), and a verb (determine the behaviour or supervise the running of).....How "nice" people can control you..... sometimes without even consciously knowing that is what they are doing."I'm only raising this because I'm concerned about you".... which for teenagers it MAY be OK, but for adults it is not appropriate and is a form of shaming and trying to control someone else in doing what YOU think they should do....Then there is COERCIVE Control..... which causes trauma for individuals..... and our body holds the impact of a trauma by holding the energy of the trauma.....Control is not WHO decides, but who decides who decides!  Control the controllable in our lives - fear is all around us, but much of it is outside our control.  By plugging into the "uncontrollable", it puts us in a place of helplessness, and even hopelessness, which leads to more cortisol being drip fed into our bodies.... not good! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDNXKWvfCtY    Stop letting other people control your emotionsAccessing the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve:  self help exercises for anxiety, depression, trauma and autism (Stanley Rosenberg)Invisible Chains:  overcoming coercive control in your intimate relationship (Lisa Aronsen Fontes PhD.)See What you Made Me Do (Jess Hill)In An Unspoken Voice (Peter A Levine)Complex PTSD:  From Surviving to Thriving (Pete Walker)When The Body Says No:  The Cost of Hidden Stress (Dr Gabor Mate)To connect with Grace please visit choosinggreater.com To attend Grace’s Trauma Transformer weekly zooms please go to https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/online-zoomy-zoom-zoom-roomFor other podcasts with Grace please visithttps://www.theunseenadvantage.com/podcast-roomTo read our terms and conditions and disclaimers includes all interviews and podcasts by Grace - Vicki Scott and Choosing Greater. https://www.theunseenadvantage.com/terms