Decoded: The First Year

One of the most emotional experiences in early motherhood… is feeding.Because when feeding feels hard, many mothers quietly start questioning themselves.“Why does my baby only feed on one side?” “Why are they so unsettled?” “Why does feeding feel like a fight?”And the support we offer mother’s with breast feeding sucks. All too often, mothers are told: “Just keep trying.”But feeding is not simply about hunger. It’s coordination. Posture. Regulation. Comfort. Safety.And when we understand feeding through a nervous system lens… so many confusing pieces start making sense.

Overstimulation has become so common… it now looks normal.The constant movement. The emotional volatility. The inability to slow down. The dysregulation after busy days. The exhaustion disguised as hyperactivity.Today, I want to talk about why so many children are not “naughty” or “too much”… They’re neurologically overloaded.

Few things make parents question themselves faster than sleep. Or lack of it.And somewhere along the way, many parents quietly start believing: “If my baby isn’t sleeping well… I must be doing something wrong.” Let’s remove something immediately.Your baby is not “bad at sleep.” That idea doesn’t even make neurological sense. Sleep is not a personality trait. It is a nervous system function.Because babies do not learn sleep through pressure, through routines or through “training”. They learn sleep through safety.And when we understand sleep through a nervous system lens… we stop seeing wakefulness as failure. And start asking much better questions.

One of the hardest parts of parenting… and a moment many parents don’t talk about is trying to stay calm when your child’s behaviour feels big. The meltdowns. The screaming. The constant movement. The emotional explosions that seem to arrive out of nowhere. You’re trying to stay calm… You’re trying harder… yet things feel worse.And eventually, after much self doubt, a quiet thought starts to form: “What am I missing?” “Am I doing something wrong?”Now, this isn’t intended to be a parenting podcast. Rather, like always, this is a podcast of asking questions. Questions like - “what if behaviour at this age is less about discipline and more about communication from an overloaded nervous system?”Because children do not wake up each morning trying to manipulate their parents. They wake up trying to adapt to the world with the nervous system they currently have.And when we understand that… we stop seeing children as difficult. And start seeing them as dysregulated. And that changes everything.

If you’ve listened to this entire reflex series… first of all, good on you.
Because chances are, you didn’t come here looking for “perfect parenting.”
 You came here looking for understanding.
You wanted to know:
“What actually matters in my baby’s development?”
“What should I pay attention to?”
“And how do I know if my child is truly okay beneath all the noise online?”
And honestly?
 That question alone already tells me something important about you.
 You’re paying attention.
 Not from fear.
 From care.
Because the first year of life can feel incredibly loud.
Milestone charts.
Comparison.
Opinions.
Pressure.
Everyone asking if your baby is rolling, sitting, crawling, sleeping, feeding, self-settling, standing…
As though development is a performance review.
But through a nervous system lens, development has never been about speed.
 It’s about sequence.
 Organisation.
 Adaptation.
And primitive reflexes sit right in the middle of that story.
Not as “good” or “bad.”
Not as labels.
But as part of the neurological scaffolding that helps a baby build their relationship with gravity, movement, posture, regulation, coordination, and eventually… learning.
So in this final episode of the series, I want to zoom out.
 Away from the individual reflexes.
 Away from the milestone checklists.
 And back toward the bigger picture.
Because when parents understand the long view of development…
comparison softens,
pressure decreases,
and confidence starts to grow.
And honestly?
 That changes everything.

There’s a question sitting underneath almost every conversation I have with parents.
“How do I know if this is something we need to act on… or something my child will simply grow through?”
And honestly?
 That question makes sense.
 Because parents today are caught between two very loud messages.
One says:
 “Don’t worry about anything.”
The other says:
“If you don’t fix this immediately, you’re missing a critical window.”
So mums end up stuck in the middle…
watching every movement,
every milestone,
every behaviour,
trying to work out whether they should relax…
or panic.
But when we look through a nervous system lens, the answer is usually much more nuanced than that.
Not every retained reflex is a problem.
Not every delay is dysfunction.
And not every child needs intervention simply because they’re developing differently.
At the same time…
sometimes the nervous system is asking for support.
Not because your child is broken.
Not because you’ve missed something.
But because development works best when the body feels safe, adaptable, and organised.
So in this episode, I want to help you understand the difference between variation and vulnerability…
between observation and action…
and how to recognise when support is helpful — without falling into fear.
Because confidence doesn’t come from obsessing over every milestone.
It comes from understanding what the nervous system is actually communicating.


If you’ve ever found yourself late at night…Googling your baby’s movements…Wondering if something you’re seeing is “normal”…Or worrying that you might be missing something important…This episode is for you.Because somewhere along the way, conversations about primitive reflexes shifted. From something that should bring clarity…To something that creates pressure.Parents are being told to watch closely…Act quickly…And fix things early —before it becomes a problem. And without even realising it…That message starts to sit in the background like a quiet anxiety:“Am I doing enough?”“Am I catching this early enough?”“Could I be missing something that matters?”But here’s the truth.Primitive reflexes were never meant to feel like a countdown.They were never meant to turn you into a monitor of milestones.They are simply a way of understanding how your child’s nervous system is organising itself — in real time.So today, we’re going to clear the noise.We’re going to slow this right down…And unpack the biggest myths around primitive reflexes —So you can move from confusion…Back to clarity.

You’re doing all the things.The toys.The tummy time.The music.The contrast cards.The play mats.You’re engaging…You’re interacting…You’re trying to give your baby every possible advantage.And still… there’s this quiet thought in the background:“Is it enough?”“Should I be doing more?”“Am I missing something that other mums aren’t?”And here’s where I want to shift something — gently, but very clearly. Because when we look at early development through a nervous system lens…The question is rarely: “Am I doing enough?”It’s far more often:“Is my baby getting the chance to actually process what I’m already giving them?”Because more input…doesn’t automatically mean better development. And in many cases — it does the opposite.Today, we’re going to unpack why less input often leads to better integration…and why some of the most well-intentioned things we do as parentscan quietly interfere with how the nervous system learns to organise itself.Not because you’re doing anything wrong…but because no one’s explained how this actually works.

Hey Mum…Have you ever looked at your baby and thought…
“They’re just a bit more sensitive…”
“They’re strong-willed…”
“They’re just not as easy as other babies…”
And if you’re really honest —
there’s a tiny part of you wondering…
am I missing something here? 
Because one minute they’re calm…
the next, they’re overwhelmed.
One day they’re exploring…
the next, they’re clinging or unsettled.
It feels inconsistent.
 And no one’s really explaining why.
So we default to labels.
Temperament. Personality.
“That’s just who they are.”But what if I told you…
a lot of what you’re seeing right now
 isn’t personality at all?It’s neurology.
In this episode, we’re unpacking one of the most misunderstood concepts in early development —
the difference between trait and state.Because when you understand what’s actually driving your baby’s responses…
you stop questioning yourself…
and you start seeing your baby with a whole new level of clarity.

There’s a moment that catches almost every parent off guard…Your baby isn’t quite crawling yet — but they’re not quite still either.They’re rocking… shifting… almost like they’re trying to figure something out.And you start wondering:“Should they be crawling by now?”“Are they skipping something?”I want you to know — you’re not missing anything.Because what looks like “not quite there yet”…is often one of the most important neurological bridges in your baby’s entire first year.Today, we’re unpacking exactly what that bridge is —and why it matters more than the milestone itself.

If you’ve ever watched your baby turn their head… and noticed their whole body respond…An arm straightening… the opposite side curling in…And you’ve thought, “Is that just random movement?”I want to gently shift that for you.Because what looks random… is actually incredibly organised.And more than that — it’s meaningful.Last week, we talked about gravity, tone, and how your baby learns to organise their body against the world.This week, we’re layering something new on top of that.Rotation.Coordination.The very beginnings of your baby learning to connect their eyes, their hands, and their body… into one integrated system.

If you’ve ever looked at your baby during tummy time… and thought,“Why does this feel harder for them than it should?”Or maybe you’ve noticed moments where their body feels a little too stiff… or a little too floppy…And you’ve wondered — quietly —“Am I missing something?”Let me reassure you right from the start:You’re not missing anything.What you’re seeing… makes complete sense when we look through a nervous system lens.Today, we’re continuing this conversation around primitive reflexes — these hidden drivers of early development — and we’re focusing on one of the most important… and most overlooked.The reflex that teaches your baby how to work with gravity… not against it.Because before a baby can roll…before they can crawl…before they can sit…They have to learn how to organise their body in a world that is constantly pulling them down.

The Moro reflex.Not because it’s the most talked about — but because it’s the one that shapes how your baby experiences the world from the very beginning.It’s their first “alarm system.”Their first response to stress.Their first layer of protection.And when this reflex is working well, everything else has a stable foundation to build from.

One of the first questions parents are taught to ask is:“Is this normal?”And I understand why.Normal sounds safe.Normal sounds reassuring.But neurologically…normal is a very blunt tool.Because development doesn’t happen in neat categories.It happens in patterns.Two babies can look completely different —and both be developing appropriately.And two babies can look the same —while their nervous systems are doing very different things underneath.

Hi, Mum, it’s Dr SCL.Today we’re tackling one of the sneakiest little phrases in early development:“They’ll grow out of it.”It sounds reassuring, right? Like a soft promise that time will solve everything. But when we look through a nervous system lens, it’s not just incomplete — it’s misleading.Reflexes don’t simply fade away on a schedule. They integrate. Or they don’t.And understanding that difference? It can completely change the way yousupport your child’s movement, regulation, and growth — without guilt, without panic, and without trying to rush a process the nervous system isn’t ready for.So let’s break this down together.

If you’ve been listening to this podcast, you’ll have heard me say this a few times:Your baby isn’t random.Their movement isn’t accidental.And their behaviour isn’t a mystery.We need to talk about what comes before movement even looks like movement.Primitive reflexes.Don’t worry —you don’t need to memorise names.You don’t need to test your baby.And nothing I’m about to say means something is wrong.

Milestone culture has trained us to look at outcomes.Rolling. Sitting. Crawling. Walking.But almost no one explains what makes those things possible in the first place.And when primitive reflexes do get mentioned?It’s usually in the context of something being “retained” or “wrong.”Which is unfortunate.Because that’s not how the nervous system works.Today, we’re pulling back the curtain on the hidden layer underneath every milestone your baby will ever achieve.Not to make you hyper-aware.Not to give you something else to monitor.But so you can finally understand what’s actually happening beneath the surface.Because when you understand reflexes properly… You stop chasing skills. And you start respecting foundations.And that changes everything.

Hey Mum.Let me guess… you put your baby on the floor for tummy time… and within about 90 seconds you’re wondering if you’re doing it right.Are they meant to be rolling by now?Should they be pushing up higher?Why does someone else’s baby look stronger already?Here’s what I want you to know.When your baby is on the floor… they’re not “just” doing tummy time.They’re not just filling in minutes before a nap.They’re practising something far more important than a milestone.I’m Dr SCL, dad, chiropractor and baby development whisperer, and today, we’re going to unpack what your baby is really wiring, building, and organising every time they move against gravity — and why this stage matters more than any checklist ever could.And I promise… once you see it through a nervous system lens, the pressure lifts.

If you’ve ever found yourself staring at a milestone chartwondering “Are we behind?”or quietly panicking because your baby isn’t ticking boxesin the order the internet promised…This episode is for you.Because milestone charts were never designed to explain development.They were designed to record outcomes.And somewhere along the way, those outcomes started being treated like goals. Like skills your baby has to achieve —rather than expressions of what’s already organised underneath.In practice, this is where I see parents carry unnecessary pressure. And babies carry unnecessary compensation.Today, we’re going to reframe milestones completely — not to lower standards,but to bring clarity, accuracy,and a nervous-system lens back into the conversation. Because when you understand what milestones actually represent,you stop chasing timelines…and you start watching quality.Let’s DECODE it together.

Early walking gets celebrated.Photos.Applause.Comments like, “They’re so advanced.”And I understand the pride.But today, I want to gently dismantle a myth — without taking anything away from your child.Walking early is not the goal.A well-organised nervous system is.

Crawling has been deemed to be optional.Not in biology.Not in neurology.But on paper.And that should make us pause — not panic — but really pause.Because when something fundamental disappears from the conversation,it doesn’t mean it stopped being important.It usually means we stopped knowing how to explain it.Today, we’re going to decode crawling and “walk” through the bridge that connects being horizontal (ie crawling) to being vertical (ie walking) —what it actually builds in the nervous system within this bridge,why so many babies now skip the bridge,and what it really means if your baby does… or doesn’t.

I’m Dr SCL — chiropractor, dad, nervous system decoder — and today -we’re putting the motivation and emotion behind the super common question I get from parents of:“Is this normal?”“Should I be worried?”“Or am I just overthinking it?”And mixing it with the neurology which drives the function that they are really want to understand.In other words, this episode is all about - how to DECODE baby development with the Google spiral and why it is way more important to decode as opposed to diagnose!!

In the last episode, we talked about something most parents have never been told.That your baby communicates through movementlong before milestones ever show up on a chart.Today, I want to take that idea and make it real.Not theoretical.Not abstract.We’re going to look at a few very common milestones —the ones parents worry about the most —and I want to show you why timing tells you very little…and how your baby gets there tells you almost everything.

Dr SCL offers a fresh perspective on baby development, emphasizing the importance of understanding movement patterns over traditional milestone charts. He explains how a baby's movements communicate their neurological state and how parents can shift their focus from comparison to observation. The conversation aims to reduce anxiety and promote confidence in parenting by decoding the messages babies convey through their bodies.

Today, we’re diving into a big one: walking. The milestone everyone watches, but few truly understand. By the end of this episode, you’ll see walking not as a race, but as the final expression of a well-organised nervous system.Alright — let’s DECODE this.

Today, we’re exploring one of the most exciting — and often misunderstood — phases of your baby’s journey:9 to 12 months.It’s the leap phase.The moment everything starts to click… and then suddenly, nothing feels the same.Because this is where your baby moves from being a passenger in their world — to an explorer.But here’s the truth most people miss:The magic isn’t in the walking.It’s in everything that happens before that step.

And today, we’re diving into one of the most transformative stages of development: 6 to 8 months.It’s where everything your baby has been building — head control, midline stability, and reflex integration — starts coming together.This is the phase of integration.But — it’s also the phase where little imbalances or skipped steps start to show up.So if you’ve ever wondered, “Is my baby actually ready to sit?” or “Does skipping crawling really matter?” — this one’s for you.

Today we’re looking at one of my favourite stages: the 4–5 month phase.It’s when your baby starts waking up to the world — literally and neurologically.They’re starting to integrate reflexes, control movements, and explore how their body works.But here’s the catch: it’s also when a lot of parents start comparing.“This baby’s rolling already!”“Mine still can’t lift her head long enough!”So before you fall down the Google rabbit hole — let’s decode what’s really happening.

Today we’re diving into the 0–3 month window — what I like to call “the foundation phase.”Because this stage isn’t about “skills” or “achievements.”It’s about connection, regulation, and adaptation.This is the time your baby’s nervous system is learning the single most important lesson:🧠 The world is safe, and my body is mine.

I’m Dr SCL — chiropractor, dad, nervous system decoder — and this episode is for every parent who’s Googled “is this normal?” at 2am while bouncing a baby who should be asleep.So let’s just say it:Sleep in the first 6 months is wild.It’s unpredictable, it’s broken, and it often feels like your baby didn’t get the memo on all those “settling” techniques.But what if your baby’s sleep isn’t broken…What if it’s a clue?Today I want to reframe baby sleep as more than a routine or habit — and show you how it’s often a nervous system signal.

In today’s episode, we’re talking about one of the most stressful, emotional, and weirdly guilt-loaded parts of early parenting: feeding.Whether you’re breastfeeding, bottle feeding, expressing, combo-feeding, or gearing up for solids — this episode is for you.Because if your baby:Refuses one sidePops off constantlyFeeds forever (and still seems hungry)Chokes, gulps, or screams through burpsYou’ve probably asked yourself:“Is it my supply?”“Is it my technique?”“Is something wrong with my baby?”Let’s unpack that — and explain what’s really going on underneath.

If you’ve got a baby under 6 months — this episode’s especially for you.Because today we’re talking about:“Is my baby behind?”“That other baby’s already rolling…”“Everyone else seems to be hitting milestones — should I be worried?”Let me be real with you: the comparison trap is brutal.And worse? It’s normalised.Let’s break that cycle today.

If you’ve got a baby under 6 months who:Hates the car seatScreams the second visitors arriveCrashes hard… but only after hours of fighting sleepNeeds to be held, rocked, bounced, or driven just to settle…Let me tell you — it’s probably not “bad habits.”It’s probably a nervous system that’s overstimulated — and trying to tell you something.Today, I’m going to help you understand what overstimulation really is, what it’s not, and how you can support your baby without spiralling.

The Milestone Decoder - What to Look For (and What to Stop Worrying About)Today’s episode is a little different — because I want to walk you through one of the most useful tools I’ve created for parents:👉 The Baby Milestone Decoder — my free PDF guide to understanding development through a nervous system lens.So if you’ve ever asked:“Is this milestone normal?”“Why does my baby roll but hate tummy time?”“Why are we being told to wait, but something feels off?”This guide was made for you.

“Is this normal?”“Should I be worried?”“Or am I just overthinking it?”In other words, this episode is all about - how to DECODE baby development with the Google spiral.Whether it’s a movement, a habit, or something you just feel is off — this episode will help you trust your instincts without spiralling. Because most parents aren’t overreacting. They just need better tools or a better lens through which to interpret what they’re seeing.

Today we’re tackling one of the most common — and most casually dismissed— concerns I hear in practice:“My baby just skipped crawling. That’s okay, right?”And look, it might be okay.But it also might be a sign worth decoding.Let’s talk about what skipping crawling actually means — and why it’s not just“one less stage” in development.

Today’s question is probably the one I hear the most in practice:“Is my baby behind?”It usually comes with a hint of worry, a side of shame, and a little too much Googling.So in this episode, I want to help you zoom out — and look at your baby’s development through a lens that actually makes sense.Not age.Not checklists.But function.Let’s start here: milestone charts aren’t evil.They’re helpful as rough guides.But when they’re used as performance reviews? That’s when the panic sets in.Here’s the problem: Milestone charts tell you when things might happen — but not how well they’re happening, or why they’re not.And most of the charts floating around out there? They’re based on averages. Which means some babies will do the thing earlier… some later… and some in their own unique order.But that doesn’t tell us how their nervous system is actually integrating those movements.

This is the final part of our primitive reflex series — and today we’re talking about what happens when reflexes don’t integrate on time.A retained reflex is just a reflex that’s still running in the background past the age we expect it to fade.It doesn’t mean your baby is broken.And it is most definitely NOT a diagnosis. There is no one singular primitive reflex bone. There is no one singular solution.It’s simply a sign the nervous system might need a little help.

The Big Three — Rooting, Moro, ATNR🎯Dr SCL dives into 3 of the primitive reflexes commonly seen in new borns in order to help mums spot and understand the three reflexes they’re most likely to notice, without overcomplicating or pathologising them.

So — primitive reflexes. The name makes them sound ancient or outdated, but here’s the truth:They’re built-in, automatic movements your baby is born with. Think of them like your baby’s autopilot mode for survival and early learning.From the moment they arrive, these reflexes:Help them feedKeep them safeStart wiring their brain for all the big skills aheadAnd the amazing part? They’re supposed to show up, serve their purpose, and then fade away as the brain matures.

Today we’re digging into a topic that a lot of people avoid — or at best, misunderstand:Birth trauma.Not the kind that shows up in the delivery room as an emergency.I’m talking about the kind that shows up later —👉 in your baby’s body👉 in their movement👉 in their sleep👉 or in the way they settle (or don’t)So let’s talk about what birth trauma actually is — what it’s not — and how you can recognise the signs without spiralling.Now, before we move on, I want to acknowledge that there is one final and super important way that birth trauma shows up later👉 and that is in your body as the mumWe touched on this in episode 2 about the overloaded, overwhelmed and ultimately neurologically dysregulated mum….and I promise it will not be the last episode we do on that topic!

Today we’re talking about two of the most celebrated — and most misunderstood — milestones:🦶 Standing🚶 WalkingYou’ve probably heard: “They’ll walk when they’re ready.”Or: “The earlier the better!”The truth? Neither statement tells you the whole story.

Today we’re looking at two mid-year milestones that parents obsess over:🪑 Sitting🐾 CrawlingIf you’ve been told:“Don’t worry, some babies skip crawling.”Or you’ve heard:“They should be sitting on their own by now.”— this episode will give you the nervous system lens that changes everything.

Today we’re tackling two early milestones that get way more stress than they deserve:🛏 Tummy time🔄 RollingIf you’ve ever thought:“She screams the second I put her down.”“He rolled at 8 weeks — is that good?”“We’ve been told to just do more tummy time, but it’s a disaster…”— this one’s for you.

Milestones.Those developmental checklists that every parent (and many health professionals) obsesses over… and every baby seems to completely ignore the “rules” of.So if you’ve ever thought:“She’s not rolling yet — is that bad?”“Shouldn’t he be crawling by now?”“Everyone else’s baby is doing ____ and mine isn’t…”This episode is for you.

You’re not crazy.You’re not broken.You’re not failing.You’re just dysregulated.Let’s unpack what that means — and why it’s probably the most important concept nobody ever explained to you in the first year of parenting.

DR SCL introduces Episode 1 of Decoded: The First YearWhat is it?Why has it come about?What is it NOT?Make sure you subscribe for weekly "DECODING".