Divorce Happens

There is a particular kind of gaslighting that is almost impossible to name while you’re inside it — the kind where someone spends years convincing you that you can’t survive without them, and you believe it so completely that leaving feels less like freedom and more like stepping off a ledge. That was Kelly Sundberg’s reality before her divorce. Her ex-husband had her convinced she was incompetent — that she couldn’t parent alone, that she couldn’t care for herself, that without him, she would fall apart. What happened instead was that she left, earned a PhD, raised her son to 80% custody with extraordinary closeness, wrote two celebrated books about surviving domestic violence and healing after trauma, got remarried to someone who met her as a whole person and loved her that way, and became one of the most important voices in the conversation about why women stay in abusive marriages. In this warm, luminous episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Kelly for a conversation that is equal parts literary and deeply, disarmingly human.Kelly’s first book, Goodbye, Sweet Girl, told the story of her marriage and why she stayed as long as she did. Her second, The Answer Is in the Wound — published through Roxane Gay Books — is a hybrid essay collection and memoir about what comes after: surviving PTSD, reclaiming identity after coercive control, learning to be alone, single parenting, and slowly, improbably, learning to love again. She talks in this episode about what surprised her most after leaving: not how hard it was to be a single mother, but how much easier it was than being married to someone whose presence was itself a burden. She had been carrying his emotional weight, managing his moods, parenting him alongside their son — and she hadn’t even known it. The relief of her own home, her own decisions, her own mess, her own peace, was something she genuinely hadn’t anticipated. Her time as a single parent, she says, was her favorite season of motherhood.But the moment that might stop listeners in their tracks comes when Kelly talks about codependency — and offers one of the most quietly stunning reframes in recent Divorce Happens memory. She describes how those old codependent impulses surfaced when she started dating the man she would eventually marry. And then she says this: they had nowhere to go. Her partner, eight years younger and emotionally grounded, had no interest in being managed, fixed, or rescued. Her need to caretake had no foothold. And so it faded. For anyone who has ever feared that their patterns will follow them into their next relationship, Kelly’s story is both a warning and a profound piece of hope: the right person isn’t someone who accommodates your old wounds. They’re someone whose presence simply doesn’t feed them. This episode is a gift for anyone surviving domestic violence, healing after an abusive relationship, or trying to believe that a full, joyful, loving life is still waiting on the other side of the hardest thing they’ve ever done.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

What questions should you actually ask at your first divorce attorney consultation? In this solo episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia answers a listener letter from someone terrified she'll sit through her first consult, nod along, and walk out without asking a single thing that mattered — then spend three days replaying everything she wishes she'd said.If that fear sounds familiar, you're not failing. That blank-brain overwhelm is what shock does to all of us in that room. So Olivia hands you the cheat sheet: the exact questions to ask a divorce lawyer, the ones too many people only think of afterward, and the single most important thing to pay attention to that has nothing to do with the law. This is the divorce consultation prep you wish someone had handed you before you walked in, so you leave with real information instead of regret.THE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR DIVORCE ATTORNEY (COVERED IN THIS EPISODE):What's your experience with cases like mine, specifically? How to tell whether an attorney has handled your kind of divorce, whether that's high-conflict custody, hidden or controlled finances, business and self-employment assets, or interstate situations.What is your communication style, and who will actually work on my case? How to avoid hiring an attorney and then hearing only from a paralegal for six months.How exactly do you charge, and what burns through a retainer faster than people expect? Understanding divorce attorney fees, retainers, and hourly rates before you're emotionally deep in the process.What's your approach, and does it match what I need? How to tell whether an attorney is litigation-minded, negotiation-first, or mediation-focused, and which is right for your situation.What are the biggest mistakes people make early in a divorce? The proactive warnings a good attorney gives you up front, about money, documentation, and social media.What does a good outcome actually look like for someone in my situation? Why their answer reveals whether they truly listened, and whether your expectations are aligned.The gut-check that matters most: how does this attorney make you feel in the room? Why trusting your instinct about a divorce lawyer is data, not emotion.Plus: why shopping around for two or three attorneys before you commit isn't indecisive, it's smart.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

What do you do in the first 24 hours after your spouse says they're leaving? In this solo "Hey Olivia" episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell answers a letter from a woman who was standing at the stove making dinner when her husband walked in, told her he wants "a new life," and said she could keep the kids and the house. She hasn't cried yet. She thinks she's in shock. And she just needs someone to tell her what to do first. If you've been blindsided by divorce and can't think straight, this episode is for you.Olivia walks through exactly what matters in the first 24 to 48 hours after being blindsided — starting with the most important truth: nothing your spouse said in that moment is legally decided, final, or binding. She covers why shock is your nervous system protecting you (not weakness), why tonight's only job is getting through tonight, and the concrete first steps that protect you: tell one safe person, don't agree to or sign anything, start documenting what was said, and keep things simple and loving with the kids. And she offers a reframe for the hardest part — the words "a new life" — reminding you that a spouse's choice to leave is information about him, not a verdict on your worth.IN THIS EPISODE:Why that strange, blank "calm" after a blindside is shock — and exactly what your nervous system is doingWhy nothing your spouse said in the moment ("you can have the kids and the house") is a legal agreement or final decisionThe single most important rule tonight: make no decisions and sign nothingTelling one safe person and why you need a witness right nowHow to start documenting what was said — simply, in a notes app, datedWhat to say to your kids in hour one when you don't have answers yetThe reframe for "he wants a new life": his restlessness lives with him, not with youWhy the 2am spiral isn't the full truth — and who to lean on (a divorce coach, therapist, and attorney) insteadABOUT DIVORCE HAPPENS:Divorce Happens is a podcast supporting people before, during, and after divorce, hosted by Olivia Howell. The show runs on one belief: divorce is not a failure, and it carries no shame. Through honest guest conversations and solo "Hey Olivia" episodes answering listener questions, Olivia offers real tools, real comfort, and the reminder that you're so much further along than you think.SUPPORT & RESOURCES:In the first days after a blindside, you don't have to sort anything out alone. A trusted friend or family member can be a witness while you find your footing. When you're ready for the practical pieces, a divorce coach can help you prepare and stay steady, a therapist can hold space for the grief and shock, and a family law attorney can tell you where you actually stand legally — so the big decisions get made with good information, not in the middle of hour one.LISTEN & FOLLOW:If this episode helped you, follow Divorce Happens on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, leave a rating or review, and share it with someone who's in the very first hours of this right now. You are seen, and you are doing an incredible job. 💙🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

How do you heal from a divorce when there's no villain — when you both still love each other and simply grew apart? In this solo "Hey Olivia" episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell answers a letter from a listener ending a marriage with no betrayal, no blowup, and real care still between them. They share a child, they can still show up for each other, and she wants to know: how do you stay connected as co-parents while creating enough distance to actually heal? If you're grieving an amicable divorce that looks "good" on paper but still aches, this episode is for you.Olivia names what so few people say out loud: an amicable divorce can be one of the hardest versions there is, because the grief is quieter and lonelier when there's no anger to propel you forward. She offers a reframe that changes everything — you're not ending the relationship, you're changing its form — and walks through what healthy distance really means: not coldness, but structure. From "business-warm" co-parenting communication to protecting breathing room around the parts of life that aren't about your child, this is a tender, practical guide to mourning the marriage while building the new relationship that comes next.IN THIS EPISODE:Why an amicable divorce with love still in it can be harder, not easier, to grieveGiving yourself permission to mourn a "good" divorce no one else fully understandsWhat's happening in your nervous system when closeness feels natural and also keeps the wound openThe central reframe: you're not ending the relationship, you're changing its formWhy grief and rightness can coexist — it's allowed to be sad even when it's the right callWhat healing distance actually means: structure, not coldness"Business-warm" co-parenting and using a shared calendar or co-parenting app so every message isn't an emotional doorwayThe question to ask on the hard nights instead of "did we make a mistake?"ABOUT DIVORCE HAPPENS:Divorce Happens is a podcast supporting people before, during, and after divorce, hosted by Olivia Howell. The show runs on one belief: divorce is not a failure, and it carries no shame. Through honest guest conversations and solo "Hey Olivia" episodes answering listener questions, Olivia offers real tools, real comfort, and the reminder that you're so much further along than you think.SUPPORT & RESOURCES:Grieving a relationship you still care about is its own kind of work, and you don't have to do it alone. A therapist can hold space for the quieter grief that comes with an amicable split, and a divorce coach can help you build "business-warm" co-parenting structures and the healthy distance you need to move forward. A shared calendar or co-parenting app can keep logistics in one place, so day-to-day messages stay focused and don't reopen the wound.LISTEN & FOLLOW:If this episode helped you, follow Divorce Happens on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, leave a rating or review, and share it with someone navigating a loving, amicable split right now. You are seen, and you are doing an incredible job. 💙🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Nobody warns you that the divorce itself might be the easy part. For Courtney Gilmartin, a New Jersey mom who started her divorce journey nearly a decade ago, the 13-month dissolution of her marriage was just the opening chapter of a much longer, harder story — one that wound through post-judgment litigation, forensic custody evaluations, parenting coordinators, and years of fighting a family court system that moves nothing like the urgent, life-disrupting pace of the people trapped inside it. In this raw and remarkably practical episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Courtney to talk about what high-conflict divorce really looks like from the inside: the emotional toll, the strategic survival, and the hard-won wisdom that comes from living it. Courtney is now the founder of NJ Protective Moms, a grassroots nonprofit focused on family court advocacy and coercive control legislation, and runs Monarch Consulting Group, where she helps women prepare for custody evaluations and complex litigation. She is living proof that the mess can become a mission.What makes this conversation so valuable is the way Courtney refuses to let the emotional and the strategic stay separate — because in high-conflict divorce, they can't be. She talks honestly about how she survived years of post-settlement chaos: the near fifty-fifty custody schedule that left her with empty weekends that felt more like exile than freedom, the way exercise — walking, Pilates, lifting weights, hot yoga — became less a wellness habit and more a lifeline. She shares one of the most useful reframes in the episode: that every professional in your case, even the ones who seem unhelpful or frustrating, can serve a strategic purpose if you approach them with the right lens. A co-parenting therapist who can’t move the needle with your ex isn’t a failure — they’re evidence. A parenting coordinator whose recommendations aren’t being followed isn’t useless — they’re documentation. In high-conflict co-parenting situations, Courtney argues, the question is never just “is this helping me emotionally?” but “how does this build my case?”The episode closes on something that feels both practical and deeply human: the power of documentation in family court proceedings. Courtney is emphatic — your case is only as strong as your evidence. Keep records. Organize everything. Not because someone will necessarily look at it tomorrow, but because when they do, you want to walk in with credibility rather than chaos. And then she offers something softer: a reminder that you are not on anyone’s timeline but your own. Whether you’re just beginning to consider leaving, waiting until the kids are older, or trying to find your footing after years of post-divorce litigation, the pressure to move faster than you’re ready to is one more thing you don’t owe anyone. Courtney’s story is a testament to what women can build out of their hardest seasons — not in spite of them, but because of them.

How do you answer your kids' questions about divorce when you're barely holding yourself together? In this solo "Hey Olivia" episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell answers a letter from a parent whose kids seemed "fine" when they first heard about the divorce — and are now flooding her with questions. Where will I sleep? Will I still see my friends? Do you still love each other? Is it my fault? If you've already told your kids about the divorce and the questions won't stop, this episode is the steadying guide you've been looking for.Olivia explains why that "fine in the moment" reaction is textbook child psychology, why the wave of questions is actually a sign of trust, and the three things your kids truly need to hear — repeated as often as they need them. She shares a skill that changes how these conversations feel: listening for the question underneath the question, and answering the fear instead of the surface. And she talks honestly about you — how to stay emotionally present for your children while you're grieving too, without having to be perfect or have a script ready for every hard moment.IN THIS EPISODE:Why kids often seem "too okay" at first — and why the questions come laterHow the flood of questions is a sign of trust and attachment, not a sign you got it wrongThe three anchors every child needs to hear: this is not your fault, you'll be loved and cared for by both of us, you'll always have a homeWhy "I don't know yet, but we're working on it" is an honest, appropriate answerThe skill of listening for the question underneath the question — and answering the fear beneath itHow to directly and completely address "Is this my fault?" — even before they ask it out loudGiving yourself permission to say "Let me think about that and come back to you"Modeling emotional honesty without oversharing — and why a little realness helpsPractical anchors for this season: routines, timing, and when a child therapist can helpABOUT DIVORCE HAPPENS:Divorce Happens is a podcast supporting people before, during, and after divorce, hosted by Olivia Howell. The show runs on one belief: divorce is not a failure, and it carries no shame. Through honest guest conversations and solo "Hey Olivia" episodes answering listener questions, Olivia offers real tools, real comfort, and the reminder that you're so much further along than you think.SUPPORT & RESOURCES:If your kids are working through a lot right now, a few sessions with a child therapist can give them one warm, neutral adult who is entirely in their corner — not because anything is wrong, but because support helps. And give yourself somewhere to put your own grief too: a therapist, a divorce coach, or a trusted friend can hold space for you while you hold space for them.LISTEN & FOLLOW:If this episode helped you, follow Divorce Happens on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, leave a rating or review, and share it with a parent who's fielding the same hard questions right now. You are seen, and you are doing an incredible job. 💙🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

How do you tell your kids you're getting divorced when your co-parent wants to blame you for it? In this solo "Hey Olivia" episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell answers a letter from a mom whose ex plans to tell their five- and seven-year-old that Mommy broke up the family — and who yells every time she tries to talk about doing it differently. If you're terrified of how the other parent might frame your divorce in front of the kids, this one is for you.Olivia explains why telling young children that one parent "broke up the family" is genuinely harmful, then walks through a calm, doable plan for telling kids about divorce in a high-conflict co-parenting situation: how to ask for a neutral third party in the room, the non-accusatory request to put in writing first, the simple and united words to say to your kids, and what to do if your co-parent says something hurtful anyway. The heart of it: you may not be able to control what your ex says, but you are never powerless — and being the steady, safe parent is more powerful than winning any single moment.IN THIS EPISODE:Why "breaking up the family" language harms kids — the developmental reason it sticksThe simple, united story children actually need when parents divorceHow to ask for a family therapist, co-parenting counselor, or mediator to be presentThe short, non-accusatory message to send in writing before the conversation (and why a record matters)Exactly what to say to your kids — clear, age-appropriate language you can use todayHow to respond in the moment if your co-parent assigns blame, without escalating in front of the kidsWhen to bring in a co-parenting therapist, divorce child specialist, or divorce coachABOUT DIVORCE HAPPENS:Divorce Happens is a podcast supporting people before, during, and after divorce, hosted by Olivia Howell. The show runs on one belief: divorce is not a failure, and it carries no shame. Through honest guest conversations and solo "Hey Olivia" episodes answering listener questions, Olivia offers real tools, real comfort, and the reminder that you're so much further along than you think.LISTEN & FOLLOW:If this episode helped you, follow Divorce Happens on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, leave a rating or review, and share it with a parent who needs it before they sit their kids down. You are seen, and you are doing an incredible job. 💙🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

What happens when you get married at 22, divorced by 27, and have to figure out who you actually are for the very first time — as a fully formed adult? That’s the question at the heart of this week’s episode of Divorce Happens, and it’s one that Sarah Vacchiano has spent the last decade not just living, but writing. Sarah is a Los Angeles-based entertainment lawyer, a first-time author, and the mother of a four-year-old — and her debut novel, Soft Launch: A Coming of Adulthood Story, is the kind of book the divorce recovery space has been quietly waiting for. Part roman à clef, part fresh start manifesto, Soft Launch follows a young woman navigating her first year after divorce in New York City, and the story is drawn unmistakably from Sarah’s own life. In this conversation with host Olivia Howell, Sarah opens up about why she wrote it, what she learned from her early divorce, and why “coming of adulthood” — not “coming of age” — was the only framework that fit.This episode is for anyone who has ever felt too young to be divorced, too old to be starting over, or too ashamed of a decision that was actually the bravest thing they ever did. Sarah and Olivia talk about the importance of representation in divorce media, the way childhood experiences shape the relationships we choose, and what it means to “live your way into the answer” — a Rainer Maria Rilke quote that Sarah has carried through her entire post-divorce journey. And for listeners who love a great beach read with emotional depth, Soft Launch is exactly the kind of divorce novel that makes you feel seen and hopeful at the same time. The takeaway isn’t just about surviving divorce in your 20s or starting fresh after marriage — it’s about giving yourself permission to become someone new, even if it’s uncomfortable, even if it’s messy, even if it takes ten years to write the book.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Nobody warns you, when you're in the thick of a divorce, that the financial fallout doesn't end with the settlement. There are tuition bills on the horizon, FAFSA forms with your ex's name on them, and a whole new layer of negotiation you never saw coming. In this episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Vicki Vollweiler — founder of College Financial Prep, divorced mom, and former divorce coach turned college financial strategist — to talk about the conversation no one is having in the mediator's office: how to plan for your child's college education when you're navigating co-parenting, conflict, and completely separate households. Vicki brings a rare combination of personal lived experience and professional expertise to a topic that sits squarely at the intersection of divorce recovery and long-term financial planning for single parents.What makes this episode so essential is the specificity Vicki brings to a subject that most divorcing parents simply don't know to ask about. She explains why including college planning language in your divorce agreement — even when your kids are toddlers — could save you years of legal headaches and thousands of dollars down the road. She walks through the FAFSA process and why the custody arrangement in your divorce decree can significantly impact how much financial aid your child qualifies for. She shares real client stories: a parent escaping a domestic violence situation whose child ended up attending an Ivy League school for free, and co-parents who couldn't stand to be in the same Zoom room but still managed to save tens of thousands on tuition for their twins. Vicki is also refreshingly honest about the emotional labor involved — sometimes her work is less about spreadsheets and more about helping one parent understand why the other is digging their heels in.The takeaway listeners will carry out of this episode is both practical and genuinely hopeful: you don't have to figure this out alone, and you don't have to wait until your kids are in high school to start. Whether you're newly separated, mid-mediation, or years into co-parenting and wondering how you're going to handle the college conversation with your ex, Vicki's framework offers a clear path forward. She works with families across the country — from Medicaid households to high-net-worth clients — and her message is consistent: with the right strategy, college financial planning after divorce doesn't have to be a battleground. It can actually be a rare win-win for both parents. And after everything divorce puts families through, that kind of win is worth paying attention to.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

She was lying on the ground in Thailand, her husband having just shoved her in public, not knowing if her neck was broken, her arm was broken — knowing only that her heart was. In that moment, journalist, traveler, and diver Lisa Niver could not have imagined that the next chapter of her life would take her skydiving, mountain biking down a ski run in Lake Tahoe, and scuba diving with bull sharks in Mexico. She could not have imagined that she would turn 50 on the other side of all that pain — freer, braver, and more herself than she had ever been. But that is exactly what happened.Lisa is the author of Brave-ish: One Breakup, Six Continents, and Feeling Fearless After 50 — a memoir that begins on the worst day of her life and traces the extraordinary journey that followed. After returning to Los Angeles alone from Asia, Lisa threw herself into the unknown: therapy, a gym with pole dancing and burlesque classes, an undiagnosed eye condition finally identified and corrected, and eventually, 50 challenges she set for herself before turning 50. Along the way, she discovered something that quietly changed everything — that bravery isn't a trait you're born with or without. It's not a light switch that's either on or off. It's exposure. It's support. It's showing up to shark school in the morning so you can go into the water in the afternoon. Lisa had spent years believing she was the kind of person who wasn't brave. Divorce, and everything that came after it, proved her wrong.This episode is for anyone who has ever stood at the wreckage of something they thought would last forever and wondered if they would ever laugh again, travel again, feel like themselves again. Lisa's answer — generous, funny, and hard-won — is yes. It gets better. And sometimes the path through is not the one you planned, but the one that asks you to try something you never thought you could do. You don't have to write the next chapter. You just have to turn the page.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

There is a moment — quiet, uncomfortable, impossible to unhear — when you realize the marriage you’re in isn’t the marriage you thought you were building. For D’Ionna Washington, that moment came just one year into her first marriage. Instead of suppressing it, she eventually did what so few women feel permitted to do: she left. And then she wrote the book about it. In this candid, fire-lit conversation on Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with D’Ionna — relationship coach, author, and the woman behind the powerfully named brand The Kept Wife Strategist — to talk about her debut book Break Up Now: Releasing the Shame of Divorce and Finding the Peace in Letting Go. D’Ionna brings over a decade of coaching experience, a faith deconstruction journey, and a deeply personal story of divorce and remarriage to a conversation about one of the most taboo questions in relationships: what if you knew early and stayed anyway?The emotional core of this episode lives in a story D’Ionna shares about her mother — a woman who stayed married for 23 years after knowing, within the first year, that it wasn’t working. That revelation cracked D’Ionna open. Suddenly she saw the pattern everywhere: women who knew, stayed silent, and spent decades managing a life that was slowly wearing them down. Her book is the answer to that pattern — a clear-eyed, shame-free argument that leaving sooner is not a failure but an act of radical self-respect. She and Olivia dig into the real reasons women stay: kids, sunk costs, religious conditioning, the fear of starting over after divorce. And D’Ionna doesn’t just validate those reasons — she dismantles them with the kind of direct, loving honesty that can only come from someone who’s lived it. Her most powerful reframe? Every year you don’t leave, it gets harder. The investment grows. The exit shrinks. If the writing is on the wall, break up now.But this episode isn’t just about leaving — it’s about what happens after you do. D’Ionna is four years out from her divorce and three years into a remarriage she describes as full of ease, peace, and genuine elevation. Her path there wasn’t through bitterness or blame — it was through radical accountability. Not the kind that absolves the other person of their wrongs, but the kind that asks: how did I get here, what was I ignoring, and what do I need to change about myself before I let someone new into my life? For listeners navigating divorce recovery, healing after a bad marriage, or wondering whether they have what it takes to start over, this episode is both permission and roadmap. D’Ionna’s message is clear: you don’t leave one hard situation to settle for a little relief. You rebuild yourself so completely that the next person has to add to an already beautiful life — not rescue you from a broken one.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

If you’ve ever sat with the thought of leaving an emotionally abusive relationship and felt, instead of relief, a wave of guilt — this episode is for you. Not the guilt of someone who is doing something wrong. The guilt of someone who has been so thoroughly conditioned to put themselves last that the simple act of imagining their own freedom feels like a betrayal. In this deeply compassionate and psychologically grounded solo episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell names that specific, gut-wrenching feeling and does something more valuable than tell you to push past it: she explains exactly where it comes from. Because understanding the source of the guilt — really understanding it — is what begins to loosen its grip.Olivia walks through two of the most important and most misunderstood psychological realities of emotionally abusive relationships. The first: that the guilt survivors feel when they consider leaving is not their conscience speaking. It is the abuse speaking. Emotional abuse works, in part, by systematically training its target to feel responsible for the abuser’s feelings, reactions, and pain — so that any act of self-prioritization triggers shame. The second: trauma bonding. Olivia explains in clear, accessible terms why the brain forms a powerful attachment to an abusive partner through cycles of tension, cruelty, and relief — and why knowing a relationship is harmful is entirely compatible with feeling an overwhelming pull to stay. Both of these frameworks offer the same thing: not an excuse, but an explanation. And explanations, offered with warmth and without judgment, have the power to change everything.The episode closes with the section that will hit hardest for parents: the guilt about the children. Olivia speaks directly and without hedging to the mothers who are staying, or hesitating, because of their kids — and offers the clearest possible reframe: children do not need their parents to stay together. They need their parents to be safe and present. And a parent being worn down by emotional abuse cannot be fully present, no matter how hard they try. This is not a comfortable thing to hear. It is a true thing. And the women who need to hear it most are the ones this episode is for. If you are anywhere on the spectrum of considering leaving an emotionally abusive marriage — the questioning stage, the terrified stage, the almost-ready stage — this episode will make you feel less alone, more understood, and a little more certain that what you are feeling is not proof that you are wrong.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

What if the end of your marriage deserved a party? Not in spite of how hard it was — but because of it. In this joyful, irreverent, and unexpectedly moving solo episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell makes the full-throated, unapologetic case for divorce parties — and why throwing one might be one of the most psychologically meaningful things you can do for yourself after divorce. This is the episode that will make you laugh, maybe tear up a little, and then immediately start texting your best friend about a date. It’s fun. It’s real. And it makes a genuinely compelling argument that the way we treat the end of a marriage says everything about how we value the people inside it.Olivia opens by dismantling the cultural shame that tells us divorce is something to be gotten through quietly — moved past quickly, spoken about in hushed tones, survived rather than celebrated. She reframes divorce as what it actually is: a decision. Often one of the bravest, most self-aware decisions a person will ever make. And she draws a sharp, clarifying parallel: we throw parties for graduations, new jobs, babies, retirements — every major life transition where one chapter closes and another begins. Divorce is all of that. It is frequently the most significant transition of a person’s adult life. So why, she asks, would we not mark it? From there, she gets into the real psychology of ritual — why ceremony matters, what it does for your nervous system and your sense of self, and why skipping the ritual often means skipping the processing. A divorce party, in whatever form it takes, is a way of planting a flag: I made it through that. I’m still here.The episode closes with something that hits harder than you might expect from a conversation about parties: an invitation to stop waiting until you’ve fully healed, until everything is figured out, until the new life is all lined up perfectly. Olivia’s argument is that you deserve to be celebrated now — in the middle of the rebuilding, on the other side of the hardest part, exactly as you are. From a low-key dinner with the three people who held you together, to a weekend trip somewhere you always wanted to go, to a full-on night out in a dress you feel incredible in — every version counts. Every version is right. This episode is a permission slip, a toast, and a love letter to everyone who made it through.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

There is a particular kind of loneliness that lives inside a marriage that has gone quiet — where you’ve been having the conversation about separating entirely in your own head for weeks or months, but haven’t said a single word of it out loud. Not because you don’t know what you feel. But because you genuinely don’t know how to start — especially when real communication between you and your spouse has all but disappeared. In this solo episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits with that exact moment and offers something rare: not a to-do list, but a deeply compassionate and practically useful framework for what it actually takes to crack open that silence.Olivia begins with the reframe that changes everything: when communication breaks down in a marriage, it isn’t laziness or weakness that keeps the hard conversations from happening. It’s a nervous system doing its job — protecting you from a pattern that has taught you, over and over, that bringing things up leads somewhere painful. Understanding that is the first step toward finding the conditions that make the conversation possible rather than impossible. From there, she walks through how to start small — not with the full weight of the word “divorce,” but with a single honest sentence that opens a door rather than detonates a bomb. She covers when and where to have this conversation, why writing it down first is an act of self-advocacy rather than weakness, and what it means to give yourself permission to need support before you say a single word to your spouse.What makes this episode so quietly powerful is what it gives listeners permission to feel: that the silence in their marriage is not a personal failure, that they are not obligated to have a conversation they aren’t ready for, and that the beginning of this process doesn’t have to be perfect — it just has to be honest. For anyone sitting in the in-between space of a marriage that feels over but hasn’t been named yet, this episode is a hand reaching through the silence. It’s the step before the step — and it’s exactly where so many people need to start.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

There is a question that lives in the bodies of thousands of people right now — not just in their minds, but in the tightness of their chests and the sleepless hours of 3 a.m. It’s not “should I get divorced.” It’s the harder, more specific thing: how do I actually say the words? In this intimate solo episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell steps into that question with the steady, grounded warmth of someone who has been there — and who has spent years sitting with women who have been there too. Whether you’ve been rehearsing this conversation in your head for months or you’re just beginning to let yourself admit what you know, this episode meets you exactly where you are.Olivia walks through four practical, compassionate frameworks for approaching the conversation: how to get grounded in yourself before you say a single word to him; why your safety — physical, emotional, and financial — is the non-negotiable first filter; how to choose the right moment and setting; and what to actually say when you sit down to do it. She offers three real opening scripts — calm, clear, and human — that you can adapt in your own voice. And she makes one of the most important distinctions in the episode plainly clear: you are not asking for his permission. You are communicating a decision. That shift alone can change everything about how you walk into the room.The episode closes with something equally important: what comes after. Because however he responds — with silence, with rage, with grief, with relief — his reaction is not yours to manage, solve, or take back. Olivia reminds listeners that this conversation doesn’t have to be finished in one sitting, that they are allowed to hold a boundary in how it unfolds, and that the bravery it takes to say these words out loud deserves to be honored — even if the only person honoring it in the moment is you. If you’re not quite ready for this conversation yet, she points you to the episode before this one. And if you are ready — this episode will help you get there.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

There’s a question that sits quietly in the minds of thousands of people every single day — and this week, one woman had the courage to send it to Olivia’s Instagram DMs: “How do I push past the fear and file against my narcissistic ex? We have a two-year-old.” In this intimate solo episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell speaks directly to that listener — and to every person navigating the terrifying intersection of narcissistic abuse, co-parenting fears, and the decision to finally leave. This is the episode for anyone who has sat with a racing heart and asked: am I safe to do this?Olivia unpacks one of the most misunderstood dynamics in high-conflict divorce: that the fear you feel before you file isn’t a sign that you’re weak — it’s evidence that your nervous system has been conditioned by someone who weaponized fear to keep you in place. She addresses the most common concern that holds parents back — the children — and offers a clarifying, research-backed reframe: staying in a toxic dynamic doesn’t protect your kids. It shapes them. A two-year-old’s nervous system is learning what love and conflict look like right now, from the environment you’re living in. Filing for divorce isn’t abandoning your child. In many cases, it’s the most protective thing you can do.This episode closes with a powerful reminder: you do not have to white-knuckle your way through a narcissistic divorce alone. Building your team — a family law attorney experienced in high-conflict cases, a therapist or divorce coach who understands narcissistic abuse dynamics, and a circle of people who know the truth — is not a luxury. It’s a survival strategy. If you’re in this season right now, this episode will give you something more valuable than advice: it will give you permission to take the first step.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

What if divorce didn't have to destroy your family — what if it could actually make it better? That's the radical, deeply human premise at the heart of this week's episode of Divorce Happens, and it's brought to life by someone who's lived it, studied it, and built an entire career helping others do it well. Karen McNenny is a 15-year divorce survivor, certified divorce coach, co-parent specialist, parent team expert, and Crucial Conversations trainer. As founder of the Good Divorce Academy, she helps couples navigate the end of their marriage not as adversaries but as partners in protecting their children's future. And now, fresh off the press in May 2026, she's the author of The Good Divorce: How to End Your Marriage Without Ending Your Family — a book Olivia describes as the one she would have handed her own parents when she was ten years old, watching her own family come apart.The conversation goes deep, fast. Karen reframes divorce not as a failure or a weapon, but as a tool of transformation — a life transition that, when navigated with intention and education, can reduce conflict, protect children, and even leave families with more grace, kindness, and love than they had before.What lingers long after the episode ends is the quiet power of Karen's closing wisdom: don't stay too long, and find your way to an elegant exit. She reminds listeners navigating divorce recovery that healing is ultimately an inside job — it has nothing to do with whether your co-parent cooperates, and everything to do with the story you choose to keep telling yourself. Her framework for the two-home family, her concept of the compost pile (turning what's gone sour into fertilizer for something new), and her reminder that everything will be okay in the end — and if it's not okay, it's not the end — offer both a roadmap and a lifeline for anyone who thought a good divorce was impossible.This episode is essential listening for every divorcing parent, divorce-adjacent family member, or professional working with families in transition.Website - https://www.karenmcnenny.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/karenmcnenny/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/gooddivorcecoachYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@karenmcnenny1344/videosLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/gooddivorcecoach/Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/241964095-the-good-divorceAmazon - https://www.amazon.com/Good-Divorce-Marriage-Without-Ending/dp/1394374267Bookshop - https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-good-divorce-how-to-end-your-marriage-without-ending-your-family-karen-mcnenny/b6ad733ab25c13b2

There's an emotion that lives in a quiet corner of a lot of divorced women — one they haven't said out loud to their therapist, their best friend, or maybe even themselves. And in this solo episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia is naming it directly: relief.Relief after divorce — or even during it — is one of the most common and least talked-about emotional experiences of divorce recovery. The exhale that finally comes. The shoulders that finally drop. The quiet that feels like peace instead of loneliness. And then, almost in the same breath, the guilt that crashes in right behind it. Because what kind of person feels relieved that their marriage is over? What does that say about you?Olivia's answer is clear and compassionate: it says you were carrying something very heavy for a very long time. That's it. That's the whole answer.In this episode, Olivia unpacks why relief is not a confession — not proof that you never loved him, that your marriage meant nothing, or that you're grieving wrong. It's a physiological response. It's your nervous system finally exhaling after years of being on high alert. She also speaks directly to the women who felt relieved and then immediately wondered if that relief meant they should have left sooner — and why that line of thinking deserves a really careful second look.The most powerful takeaway of this episode might be this: relief and grief are not opposites. They can exist in the exact same moment. You are allowed to exhale and also cry. To feel lighter and also feel the loss. To be glad it's over and still mourn the version of it you always hoped it could be. These are not contradictions. They are the completely human, completely valid emotional reality of ending a marriage.This one is for every woman who has felt relieved and then felt ashamed of it. You don't have to whisper about this anymore.In this episode:Why relief after divorce is one of the most common — and most shamed — emotions in divorce recoveryWhat relief actually tells you about how much you were carryingWhy feeling relieved doesn't mean you were wrong to stay as long as you didHow relief and grief can exist at the exact same time — and why that's not a contradictionA direct, loving message to the women who feel guilty for finally being able to breathe🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

If you're a divorced mom, chances are you're carrying a fear that doesn't have a name but feels like this: Am I ruining my kids?In this solo episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia gets honest about one of the most universal — and most exhausting — emotional experiences of divorce recovery: mom guilt. Not the logistical kind, but the deep kind. The one that whispers at 2am that your kids are going to end up in therapy because of you. The one that makes you second-guess the hardest decision you've ever made.Olivia unpacks what the research actually tells us about kids and divorce (spoiler: it's not the divorce that causes lasting harm — it's the conflict), why the way you're handling this matters more than the fact that it happened, and why choosing something real and healthier for yourself and your children is not the decision of a bad mother. It's the decision of a really, really good one.This episode is a direct, warm, and lovingly honest conversation with every divorced mom who is doing the work, feeling the guilt, and wondering if it's ever going to be enough. It is. You are.In this episode:Why mom guilt after divorce is almost universal — and why it's not telling you the whole truthWhat the research says about kids and divorce vs. kids and conflictWhat your children are actually watching and learning from how you navigate thisA compassionate reframe for the moms who can't shake the guilt no matter what they doWhy the decision to leave — as hard and messy as it was — came from love🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Most people walking into a divorce do the same thing: they call a lawyer. It feels like the obvious first move — the responsible one. But according to Jill Kaufman, a licensed therapist, certified divorce coach, certified mediator, and parent educator with decades of experience, hiring an attorney first is one of the most common — and costly — mistakes divorcing people make. Jill is also the founder of Divorce Network Pro; a curated online directory connecting divorcing individuals and the professionals who support them with mission-aligned experts across every discipline: financial specialists, parent educators, mediators, divorce coaches, and more. Every professional in her network shares a common commitment: lower conflict, keep families out of court, and protect children through the process.In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with Jill for an honest, practical, and deeply compassionate conversation about what divorce support actually looks like when you build the right team around you. Because the emotional piece of divorce? It's 80 percent of the journey.Jill brings something rare to the divorce conversation: she's not just a professional who helps others through it — she's been through it herself. She knows what it feels like to sit across from your attorney venting about your pain and watching the billable hours tick by. She knows the specific terror of wondering if this will ever end. And she knows that nine months of divorce proceedings can feel like nine years when you're in the middle of it.What you'll walk away with from this episode is a genuine mindset shift about what divorce support can and should look like — and permission to build a team that matches the full complexity of what you're going through. Jill breaks down exactly why knowing how to use your attorney (rather than leaning on them for everything) will actually save you money, why going into mediation prepared is one of the most powerful things you can do, and why the emotional tools you build early make every step after easier. Whether you're just starting to think about divorce, in the thick of it, or supporting someone you love who is, this conversation is a clear-eyed, warm-hearted reminder: you are stronger than you realize, you don't have to figure this out alone, and there are people — the right people — who are ready to walk this road with you.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

If the first thing you did when your marriage started falling apart was Google the most aggressive divorce attorney in town, you are not alone — and you are not wrong for it. But what if there was a smarter, calmer, more strategic way to get through one of the hardest chapters of your life? In this episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Melissa Murphy Pavone, a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®) and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), and author of the newly released book Divorce by Design: How Building a Divorce Team Can Help You Get Divorced Efficiently Without Going Broke in Less Than a Year. Melissa brings both professional expertise and deeply personal motivation to this conversation — as a child of divorce herself, she watched her own mother make emotionally-driven financial decisions without the right support system in place. That experience became her why, and it's the engine behind everything she does to help others navigate divorce recovery with clarity, strategy, and confidence.What makes this episode genuinely essential listening for anyone starting over after divorce — or contemplating it — is the framework Melissa lays out so clearly: you don't just need an attorney. You need a team. Emotional support comes first, then financial guidance, then legal counsel. That sequence, Melissa explains, is everything. When people are in heightened emotional states, they cannot make sound long-term decisions — and that's exactly when the wrong professionals or the wrong advice can cause the most damage. Her financial clarity package, designed for people quietly considering divorce, helps replace fear with facts and replace overwhelm with a realistic, eyes-wide-open view of what life after divorce can actually look like. It's the kind of grounded, practical support that makes single mom life — and co-parenting after divorce — a little less terrifying.Divorce by Design is for everyone — not just people in the middle of a split. Melissa makes the case that this book belongs in the hands of happily married people, friends of those going through divorce, family members, coworkers, and neighbors, because divorce does not discriminate. And in a world where vulnerability too often becomes an invitation for exploitation, knowledge is the most powerful form of protection. Whether you're newly separated, years into parenting after divorce, or simply someone who loves a person in crisis, this conversation will leave you with clarity, a sense of direction, and the reassurance that you don't have to do this alone. Build your team. Design your divorce. And trust that starting over after divorce — on your own terms — is absolutely possible.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

There is a quiet pressure that follows divorce like a shadow — the pressure to be fine. To be strong. To show everyone, and maybe especially yourself, that you are thriving and not broken and absolutely, definitely over it. In this intimate and deeply moving solo episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits with that pressure and names it for what it is: a lie that is costing women their healing. Because the truth — the one Olivia speaks directly and without flinching — is that grieving your marriage does not mean you made the wrong decision. Those two things can live in the same body at the same time. And learning to let them is one of the most important things you can do in divorce recovery.Olivia unpacks the shape of divorce grief with the kind of clarity that only comes from having lived it: the grief for the person you thought you were marrying, the holidays that looked a certain way, the version of the future you had to let go of. She names the dangerous pattern of performing okayness for an audience that isn’t even watching anymore — and what happens when grief doesn’t get to come out. It goes underground, she says. It shows up later in your body, your relationships, those two-in-the-morning hours when you can’t outrun it. Grief is not your enemy. It is, as Olivia puts it, just love with nowhere left to go. And that reframe alone is worth the listen.The episode closes with three gentle, concrete things to actually do with your grief: name it when it arrives instead of pushing it underground, stop putting a deadline on it because there is no expiration date on grieving a marriage, and let it mean something. Your grief, Olivia reminds us, is not a referendum on your decision. It is not proof of weakness or failure. It is evidence that you were present in your own life, that you loved, that you showed up. And that same capacity — that bigness that loved deeply enough to grieve — is exactly what will carry you into whatever comes next. This is the episode for every woman in the middle of healing after divorce who needs permission to feel it all the way through.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

There is a version of this story that gets told over and over again in our culture — the one where leaving a marriage is the failure, and staying is the strength. Where the person who files the papers is the one who gave up. Where divorce is a tragedy, and the one who initiates it is somehow the villain. In this deeply personal solo episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell takes that narrative apart, piece by piece, with the kind of directness and compassion only someone who’s lived it can offer. This isn’t a conversation about whether you made the right choice. This is a conversation about what it actually took to make it — and why that matters more than anyone gives you credit for.Olivia names the invisible weight that divorced women carry into every difficult decision: the sleepless nights, the second-guessing, the rehearsed conversations, the fear of starting over when rebuilding feels impossibly large. She speaks directly to the single moms in the thick of divorce recovery, the ones still wondering if their hard days mean they were wrong — and she offers one of the most important mindset shifts in the divorce healing journey: hard and wrong are not the same thing. Choosing to leave, she argues, is not an act of selfishness. For so many women navigating life after divorce and parenting after divorce, it is the most generous, honest, and courageous thing they have ever done — not just for themselves, but for their kids, who need to watch their mothers choose themselves.Perhaps the most powerful moment of this episode is Olivia’s message to the people still sitting in the in-between, not yet out, not yet sure, paralyzed by the size of the decision ahead. Her reframe is simple and quietly radical: courage doesn’t come before the act. It lives inside the doing. You don’t have to feel brave first. You just have to take the next step. And for everyone already on the other side of that decision — still raw, still second-guessing on the hard days — Olivia ends with something worth hearing as many times as it takes: you didn’t give up on your marriage. You refused to give up on yourself. This is the episode for anyone who needs to be reminded, with love and without equivocation, that leaving took guts — and that guts deserve to be celebrated.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Nobody warns you about this part. The divorce attorneys explain the paperwork. The therapists help you process the grief of your marriage. Your family tells you it’s going to be okay. But almost no one prepares you for the moment you realize that some of the friendships you built your entire social world around — the dinner couples, the group text, the women who knew everything about your life — have quietly, without explanation, disappeared. In this tender and deeply honest solo episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell names one of the most overlooked losses in the divorce recovery experience: the grief of the friends who couldn’t follow you through.Olivia speaks directly to the disorienting sting of social loss after divorce — the way it compounds the grief you’re already carrying, the story your brain tells about what it means, and why that story is almost always wrong. She untangles the real reasons friends disappear (it’s about their own marriage, their own fears, their own discomfort with what your courage made them face) from the ones we blame ourselves for, and she makes an important distinction between friendships that had genuine roots and those that were always built on circumstance and shared social structure. Understanding the difference, she says, is not a wound — it’s a map. Because now you know exactly who and what to build toward in your life after divorce.The episode closes with something that sits like a hand on your shoulder: the friends who are still standing — even if there are only one or two of them — are showing you what real friendship looks like. And the new ones coming, the ones who will meet this rebuilt and more-honest version of you, are going to be some of the best relationships of your life. The ones who disappeared made room for them. And for every woman who is still in the in-between, still in the lonely reshuffling of her social circle, Olivia ends with a reminder that lands softly and stays: you are not as alone as it feels right now. This community is full of women who lost the same friends, felt the same sting, and are healing after divorce the same way you are. You belong here.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Spring has a way of being quietly cruel when you're in the middle of a divorce. The world turns bright and blooming and annoyingly beautiful, and you're still just trying to get through the week — maybe the day, maybe the hour. The flowers don't know your timeline. The Instagram farmers market hauls don't know you're rebuilding from the ground up. And somewhere in that gap between what the season looks like and what your life feels like, there's a pressure that settles in: the sense that you're supposed to feel renewed because the calendar says so, and if you don't, that's one more thing you're failing at. In this tender, honest solo episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell is here to say, loudly and clearly: you are not failing at spring. You are not failing at anything.Unlike the show's expert-driven episodes, this one is something different — a direct, from-the-heart check-in from Olivia herself, without a clinical framework or a listicle in sight. Just one woman who has been through it, speaking directly to another. Olivia opens with a truth that doesn't get said enough in the divorce recovery space: grief and transition don't bloom on schedule. The emotional weight of divorce — whether you're in it, coming out of it, or standing at the edge trying to decide — doesn't take a season off just because the days are longer now. And that moment of noticing the contrast between the world outside and how frozen you feel inside? Olivia reframes it entirely. That's not you being broken. That's you being honest. And honesty with yourself, she says, is the first thing that has to bloom before everything else can. It's a mindset shift that is simple, grounding, and quietly powerful for anyone in the thick of starting over after divorce.The episode closes with three gentle, specific encouragements that feel less like advice and more like a hand on the shoulder. First: you don't have to be further along than you are. There is no finish line you're behind on. Second: give yourself actual credit for what you're doing every single day — the getting up, the showing up, the holding it together on willpower and a good playlist. It counts. All of it counts. And third: spring really is for you. Not the Instagram version of new beginnings, but the real one — slow and muddy and mostly invisible until one day something quietly blooms and you realize it was happening all along. If you know someone navigating divorce this season, this episode is the thing to send them. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do for each other is just say: I'm thinking about you. You're not alone. And you're going to be okay.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Nobody warns you that your first Mother's Day after divorce might be the hardest Sunday of your year. You might have your kids — and still feel completely alone. You might be kid-free for the holiday and have absolutely no idea what to do with yourself. You might scroll through social media, watch the flower deliveries and the brunches and the gratitude posts, and feel something you can't quite name — something between grief and relief and guilt all braided together. In this warm, honest, and genuinely helpful episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell opens the conversation with a confession of her own: on her first Mother's Day as a newly divorced woman, her girlfriend sent her flowers. And it was sweet, and she was grateful — and it was also one of the most emotionally awkward days she'd ever had. If you've been there, or you're about to be there, this episode is your company for that day.To help make sense of it all, Olivia sits down with Dr. Elana Hoffman, a licensed clinical psychologist and divorce coach based in Washington, D.C. Dr. Hoffman runs a fully telehealth practice, working with clients in PSYPACT states across the country, and specializes in the emotional and psychological dimensions of divorce — from contemplating the decision all the way through to rebuilding life on the other side. With the kind of clinical clarity and human warmth that makes hard conversations feel manageable, Dr. Hoffman walks through what makes Mother's Day so uniquely tender for divorced moms: the visibility of other people's families, the absence of a partner to plan the day, the strange loneliness of being the only witness to your own extraordinary effort. She validates that it can feel like grief and like freedom at the same time — and gently reminds listeners that you are allowed to feel exactly what you feel, without performing anything for anyone. Single parent mental health, she reminds us, starts with giving yourself permission.But this episode doesn't stop at validation — it offers a real mindset shift for divorce recovery and single mom life. Dr. Hoffman's most powerful message is both simple and quietly radical: you don't have to wait for someone else to celebrate you. You can ask your kids what they're grateful for. You can decide the day is just another Sunday — and that's fine. You can build community with friends and family who show up for you, and you can let them. And if this is your first Mother's Day after divorce and it feels impossibly heavy, Dr. Hoffman has three words for you: you are doing great. Single parents hold more than they're ever recognized for. The work they do — the dinners made, the tantrums absorbed, the bedtimes held — happens largely in invisibility. This episode is a reminder that you are seen, you are enough, and the hard days do eventually pass. Monday will come. And you'll still be standing.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Nobody tells you that divorce can feel like a second puberty. Suddenly, after years of being someone's partner — someone's spouse — you're standing in your own skin again, sometimes for the first time in decades, asking a question you were never really taught to answer: What actually brings me pleasure? In this illuminating, permission-giving episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Myisha Battle, clinical sexologist, certified dating coach, and author of the brand-new book Sexual Pleasure for Dummies. This isn't just a conversation about sex — it's a conversation about reclamation. About what it means to rediscover your own body, your own desires, and your own standards after divorce. Myisha brings equal parts clinical expertise and radical warmth to a topic that most divorce support spaces completely ignore: the connection between sexual self-knowledge and your ability to build a new, fully embodied life after a marriage ends.What makes Myisha such a revelatory voice in the divorce recovery and dating-after-divorce space is the way she reframes experiences we've been taught to see as losses. She introduces the concept — shared by Olivia's network of divorce professionals — of "cougar puberty": the phase many women in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond enter after a major relationship ends, where hormonal shifts, hard-won self-knowledge, and freedom from the pressure of family planning converge into something unexpected and powerful. Where perimenopause is often framed as decline, Myisha insists it can be the beginning of a woman's most liberated, most pleasurable chapter yet. She talks about the women she works with who are energized, curious, and finally ready to explore — women who look back at their earlier selves with compassion and look forward with genuine excitement. Myisha also digs into why so many people — especially women — feel like they're "dummies" about their own pleasure, tracing it back to the shame-based, biology-only sex education most of us received, and the gendered expectations that have quietly shaped our experiences (and our orgasm gaps) ever since.The conversation closes with something both practical and profound: a roadmap for anyone who wants to start, or restart, their sexual self-education — whether they're newly single, years into co-parenting, or simply ready to stop putting their own pleasure last. Myisha walks listeners through what to expect from her book, from anatomy chapters that treat pleasure as a birthright rather than a bonus, to sections on pain during sex that so many women have silently normalized, to chapters on how to communicate about desire in any relationship, including the one you have with yourself. For divorced women navigating starting over after divorce, dating after divorce, or simply the deeply personal work of figuring out who they are outside of a marriage, this episode is both a permission slip and a practical guide. You are allowed to want more. You are allowed to feel good. And you are absolutely allowed to start right now.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

There is a dimension of divorce that nobody warned you about — one that has nothing to do with lawyers or custody schedules or dividing furniture. It goes much deeper than any of that. Divorce goes to the heart of your identity. And when the role you built your life around — wife, partner, the person in that marriage — is suddenly gone, the question that surfaces isn't just "what do I do now?" It's "who am I without this?" In one of the most soulful and quietly transformative episodes of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Lisa Lisser — divorce and life transition coach, former litigator, nonprofit leader, spiritual counselor, and holder of two master's degrees — to explore the spiritual dimension of divorce that most people only recognize in hindsight. Lisa has lived it herself, rebuilt herself from it, and now dedicates her practice to helping others do the same: move through divorce while holding onto their soul.At the center of this conversation is one of the most powerful reframes you will hear on this show: the shift from "role model" to "soul model." Lisa explains that when we define ourselves by our roles — wife, mother, career woman — and one of those roles collapses, we collapse with it. But the soul model is different. It's the thread beneath all the roles, the one anchored in your values rather than your titles. And it is that thread, Lisa argues, that becomes your compass through divorce. She walks through how this plays out in the messiest, most emotionally volatile moments — the impulse to blast your ex on social media, the urge to say the second half of that sentence, the moment you feel like you have to choose between being fierce and being strategic. Her answer is "strategic empathy": the practice of stepping just far enough into your ex's perspective to remove yourself from the fight and redirect your energy toward the outcome you actually want. She also shares a deeply personal story — the time she donated her ex's clothes the night before his ski trip, and the lawyer meeting the next day that did not go her way — as honest, hard evidence that feeling righteous in the moment and serving your long-term interests are not always the same thing.The most immediately usable tool Lisa offers in this episode is something borrowed from Brené Brown: the SFD, or Shitty First Draft. Write everything you want to say — every angry, hurt, furious word. Get it out. Then don't send it. The energy is released into the universe, the feelings are real and witnessed, and you haven't handed your ex a weapon. Lisa invites her own clients to send those drafts to her — because the goal is always the same: make sure you stay in control of yourself, even when nothing else feels in control. She closes with a reminder that will stay with you long after the episode ends: "If you see it, you can be it." You are not broken. You are searching for purpose and meaning — and that search, she says, is the most spiritual thing a human being can do. This episode is a hand extended across the dark. Take it.Learn more about Lisa Lisser: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/lzl-coaching🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

You've made the decision. Maybe it took months — maybe it took years. But you've finally arrived at it, and now your brain is telling you: move fast, do something, protect yourself. And that instinct, as understandable as it is, might be the very thing that costs you the most. In this indispensable episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Lyerly Spongberg — certified ADR divorce coach, pre-mediation coach, and co-parenting specialist — to walk through the most common and costly mistakes people make in the early stages of the divorce process. Lyerly brings years of front-line coaching experience to a conversation that is equal parts educational and deeply compassionate, pulling back the curtain on why even intelligent, capable people get derailed right at the start — and exactly what to do instead.The first thing Lyerly wants you to understand is that when the divorce decision finally lands, your nervous system is not your friend. What looks like urgency is often dysregulation — a survival-mode brain that is neurologically incapable of making clear, future-focused decisions. From that dysregulated state, people make the same predictable mistakes: they call the most aggressive attorney they can find, they ask their hairdresser and their college roommate and their coworker what they're "entitled to," and they latch onto other people's divorce settlements as a blueprint for their own. Lyerly dismantles all of it with precision. Every divorce is different, she explains. The laws vary by state. The finances vary by marriage. And perhaps most crucially, the person across from you is not your aunt's ex-husband. What worked — or didn't — in someone else's divorce has almost no bearing on yours. The second major pitfall she unpacks is what she calls the four-letter word of divorce: "fair." Few things derail the early divorce process more reliably than the obsession with getting a fair outcome — and Lyerly reframes it beautifully, shifting the question from "what's fair?" to "what do I actually need, and who do I want to be when this is over?"What makes this episode truly standout is the humanity Lyerly brings to the hard stuff. She talks about working with women who can't imagine not being a mom 24/7, who have built their entire identity around being the primary caregiver, and who face the co-parenting schedule as one of the most disorienting losses in their entire divorce. She is both honest and hopeful: she has seen enough to know that many of those same women, once the dust settles, find that those solo days look a lot different than they feared. Her practical tools — journaling, exercise, naming your fears so you can find the right expert to address them, breathing exercises before high-stakes meetings, setting firm boundaries with well-meaning friends who make things worse — are immediately usable and grounded in real coaching experience. If you are standing at the very beginning of your divorce and you feel the panic rising, this episode is the steady hand on your shoulder you didn't know you needed. Lyerly's parting message says it all: take one baby step today. That's enough.Learn more about Lyerly Spongberg: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/step-up-with-lyerly🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

You were so close. The kids were finally sleeping through the night. You'd found a rhythm at work. You were starting to feel like yourself again — like balance was actually possible. And then divorce happened. And the scales didn't just tip — they crashed. If that sentence made you exhale, this episode is for you. In this conversation on Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Amy Pierre-Russo, a work-life harmony coach who has built her entire practice around one radical reframe: stop chasing balance, and start designing for harmony. Because balance, Amy argues, is a trap — a pressure-cooker concept that sets us up to feel like we're always failing. Harmony, on the other hand, is a flow state. It's abundance instead of scarcity. And it's something you can begin to cultivate even in the middle of the most destabilizing season of your life.What Amy brings to this conversation is both clarity and compassion for what divorce actually does to a person's sense of self and direction. She talks about what happens when an unexpected life event — divorce, job loss, a new baby — strips away the systems you had built and leaves you scrambling to figure out what you even want anymore. Her answer is not to grind harder. It's to get small and get clear. She guides her clients to start with just 10% — 10% closer to the version of their life when they felt most supported, most connected, most themselves. She also opens up an often-overlooked dimension of divorce recovery: the community loss. When a marriage ends, it's not just a partner you lose. It's friendships. Social circles. Decade-long relationships. And rebuilding that web of connection — intentionally, even with limited time and energy — is one of the most essential and underrated parts of starting over after divorce.The most quietly powerful moment of this episode is when Amy names something that so many women navigating divorce quietly feel but rarely say out loud: the fear of getting swept up in somebody else's plan for you. Her tools — breathwork between hard meetings, reflective journaling, visioning the future life you actually want — are all oriented around the same north star: making sure you stay the author of your own story, even when the plot has gone completely off-script. She closes with five words that land like a hand on the shoulder: "You are worthy of this." Worthy of the harmony. Worthy of the life you're designing. Worthy of support. If you are in the middle of divorce chaos and can't see the other side, this episode is a reminder that harmony isn't something you achieve once the dust settles. It's something you can begin — right now, in small steps — from exactly where you are.Learn more about Amy: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/amy-pierre-russo-coaching🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Nobody tells you that pregnancy can be the moment everything becomes clear. Not the nursery colors or the baby name — but something far bigger, far more quietly devastating: the realization that the relationship you're in is not the one you want to raise a child inside of. In this profound episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Dr. Gertrude Lyons — author, life coach, podcast host, retreat facilitator, and the powerhouse behind the book Rewrite the Mother Code: From Sacrifice to Stardust — to explore one of the most taboo intersections in modern womanhood: divorce during pregnancy or in the postpartum period. Dr. Lyons has worked with women at every stage of this threshold and brings both clinical depth and soulful clarity to a conversation that has the potential to crack your heart open and set it free at the same time.What makes this episode so extraordinary is the reframe Dr. Lyons offers around what she calls "the double threshold" — the understanding that when you become a mother, you don't just birth a child. You birth a new version of yourself. Add divorce to that equation, and yes, the weight is immense. But Dr. Lyons makes a radical and deeply compassionate case: this is actually the ripest moment for transformation. When we are raw, open, hormonally and emotionally stripped to our foundations, we are also the most available we will ever be to do the real work of becoming. She speaks directly to the thousands of years of patriarchal wiring that makes a pregnant woman leaving her partner feel shocking — when in reality, Dr. Lyons argues, the more evolved response is: thank god she figured that out now. Let's rally behind her. Her framework, the "PACT" — Patience, Affirmation, Compassion, and Trust — offers something every woman navigating divorce, single motherhood, or major life transition can carry with her like a compass.Dr. Lyons also introduces one of the most quietly revolutionary ideas in Rewrite the Mother Code: that we are always rewriting our mother code. Whether you are navigating postpartum divorce, newly separated, rebuilding as a single mom, or simply stepping into a new chapter of yourself, the invitation is the same — go inside, get clear on what you value and what you desire, and let that be your rudder. Olivia shares her own emotional aha moment: that becoming a single mother required her to rewrite her mother code entirely, a realization she describes as "spiritual." If you have ever wondered whether you are allowed to want something different for yourself during one of the most vulnerable seasons of your life — this episode is the answer. You are not falling apart. You are in the middle of becoming. And Dr. Gertrude Lyons is here to hold you through it.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

When you're going through a divorce, the world doesn't stop spinning — but it can feel like everyone else's resources did. Therapy is expensive. Childcare is exhausting and often unaffordable. And the practical realities of building a new life on one income, while co-parenting, grieving, and showing up for your kids, can feel completely overwhelming. In this episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Joy Read, co-founder of the National Association for Single and Divorced Families (NASDF) — a nonprofit membership organization built from the ground up to close the resource gap for families navigating divorce and single parenthood. Joy and her co-founder Ron modeled NASDF after AARP: a bundled benefits platform that gives members access to real, practical support — mental health care, child education discounts, financial advisors, mediators, and more — all for just $19 a month.What Joy brings to this conversation is more than organizational expertise — it's personal conviction rooted in watching women she knows leave jobs because daycare was too expensive, then find themselves suddenly divorced with no financial runway. The mental health benefit alone is a game-changer: NASDF members can access free therapy sessions through Rikiro, a national telehealth platform, and Joy's vision is to expand that to up to eight free sessions per presenting condition — meaning a member struggling with both anxiety and depression could access sixteen free sessions for themselves, and more for their children. In a world where therapy routinely falls off the self-care list because it's simply unaffordable, NASDF is quietly building infrastructure to make it non-negotiable. Other benefits include 10% off tuition and priority registration through Learning Care Group, discounts on technology, school supplies, and even a mechanic hotline — everything a single parent scrambling to keep the household running actually needs.At its heart, this episode is about one radical idea: that single and divorced families deserve a seat at the advocacy table. Joy talks about NASDF's 501(c) nonprofit arm and their long-term mission to combat intergenerational poverty through two-generation programming — addressing the needs of both parent and child simultaneously. She closes with words that feel like a gift: "Grief comes in waves. When one knocks you down, just wait. When it recedes, stand up, gather your breath, and know that none of it is going to drown you." If you are in the thick of divorce recovery, overwhelmed by single parenting, and wondering how other people are affording their lives right now — this episode is the answer you've been looking for. And the best part? It only costs $19 a month to get started at nasdf.org.Lean more and sign up here: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/national-association-for-single-and-divorced-families-nasdforg🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Nobody hands you a rulebook when your marriage ends and you suddenly have to figure out how to parent from two separate addresses. The paperwork gets signed, the boxes get packed, the kids start splitting their weeks between two homes — and then it's Tuesday night and someone's crying over forgotten homework, and you realize the hardest part was never the divorce itself. It was everything that comes after. In this episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Nora Marcus, a licensed social worker, co-parenting specialist, and divorce mediator who works with families across all 50 states — a professional, as she puts it, "who is holding your hand all the way." Nora brings a rare combination of clinical grounding and radical honesty to the conversation, refusing to sugarcoat what the post-divorce parenting journey actually looks like — because, as she reminds us, it's always dinner time. Someone is always hungry, there's always a school project, and your nervous system doesn't get a day off just because the papers are filed.At the heart of this conversation is a reframe that every co-parenting parent needs to hear: your children are 50% their other parent. Which means every time you speak badly about your ex — even to your most well-meaning friends — your kids internalize that as something broken inside themselves. Nora doesn't just tell us to stop the trash talk; she invites us to go further, to actively build up our co-parent in front of our children, not as a favor to an ex we may still be angry with, but as an act of love for our kids' developing identity and self-worth. She also speaks candidly about the strange emotional terrain of showing up at a soccer game with someone you used to share a bed with, validating that the awkwardness isn't a problem to be solved — it's just part of the messy, human reality of divorce. And she offers a crucial reminder: pay attention to who you're calling when you need to vent. The people who love you most are sometimes the ones most likely to activate you, and activation is the last thing a co-parenting parent needs in a vulnerable moment.What listeners will walk away with from this episode isn't a tidy five-step plan — it's something more honest and more useful than that. It's the permission to move slowly, to take small steps, to celebrate the fact that you made it through your first holiday without your kids or that you kept showing up even on the days you had nothing left. Nora's framework for post-divorce recovery centers on awareness, acceptance, and building the right team around you — whether that's a co-parenting mediator, a therapist, or simply a friend who knows when to cheer you on instead of pour fuel on the fire. She works with clients during divorce, through mediation and parenting plan development, and long after — because divorce isn't a singular event when children are involved; it's a lifelong relationship that evolves through graduations, college drop-offs, and co-grandparenting. For anyone navigating co-parenting after divorce, managing single parent mental health, or simply trying to figure out how to live a full life while raising children across two households — this episode is the steady, grounded voice you didn't know you needed.Learn more about Nora Marcus: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/nora-marcus-consulting🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

What if you didn’t have to figure out divorce alone?In this episode of Divorce Happens, we’re talking about one of the most supportive (and most underutilized) resources available to you: a free 15-minute Divorce Resource Consult with Olivia Howell, co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry.Whether you’re quietly wondering if divorce might be the right next step, actively navigating the process, or rebuilding your life on the other side, this consult is designed to meet you exactly where you are. No pressure. No expectations. Just real support.During your session, Olivia will listen, help you get clear on what you need, and connect you with trusted, vetted experts—from therapists and lawyers to financial professionals, coaches, and more. Think of it as a starting point when you don’t know where to start.This is not about being told what to do. It’s about being supported as you figure out what’s right for you.What We Cover in This Episode:What a Divorce Resource Consult actually is (and what it’s not)How Olivia helps you identify the right experts and resources for your situationThe different phases of divorce support: pre-consideration, considering, in-process, and post-divorceWhy having a “starting point” can make all the differenceWhat makes this consult safe, confidential, and judgment-freeHow It Works:15-minute one-on-one consult with Olivia HowellHeld via Zoom (camera optional)Completely free, with no strings attachedFocused on support, clarity, and connectionOlivia Howell is a certified life and divorce coach, co-founder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry, and a leading voice in redefining how we support people through divorce. Her work centers on making the process more humane, accessible, and connected—so no one has to navigate it alone.Divorce can feel overwhelming because there are so many decisions, so many unknowns, and often no clear roadmap. This consult exists to change that—to give you a moment to pause, ask questions, and get connected to the support you deserve.Ready to Take the First Step? You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to start.👉 Book your free consult here: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/consultIf this episode helped you feel even a little more supported, we’d love for you to subscribe, share it with someone who might need it, and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more people who need to hear this.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In this final episode of Divorce 101 A to Z from the Divorce Happens podcast, Olivia Howell explores zero-sum thinking, a mindset that frames divorce as a win-lose battle instead of a restructuring of life and family systems. Brought to you by the letter Z and the number 0, this episode explains why divorce does not need a scoreboard — and how releasing zero-sum beliefs can reduce conflict, guilt, and emotional exhaustion.Listeners learn how zero-sum thinking shows up in negotiations, parenting decisions, and financial discussions, and how shifting away from this mindset supports healthier outcomes for adults and children alike. Olivia also offers a grounding reflection to help listeners identify and release one belief that keeps them stuck in a win-lose framework.This episode is ideal for anyone navigating divorce, co-parenting, mediation, or emotional healing after separation.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In this Divorce 101 A to Z episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell explains your best interest standard, the legal principle courts use when making custody and parenting decisions in divorce cases. Brought to you by the letter Y and the number 3, this episode breaks down the three core areas judges evaluate: a child’s needs, safety, and stability.Listeners learn what the best interest standard means, what it does not mean, and how aligning decisions with a child’s wellbeing supports stronger outcomes in custody and parenting plans. Olivia also offers a grounding reflection to help parents identify the three most important needs their child has right now.This episode is ideal for divorcing parents, co-parents, family law professionals, and anyone supporting children through divorce.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In this Divorce 101 A to Z episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell explains the meaning of ex parte, a critical legal concept used in emergency or safety-related situations during divorce or custody cases. Brought to you by the letter X and the number 1, this episode explores how ex parte requests work, why they are used when immediate protection is required, and what happens after an ex parte order is granted.Listeners learn the difference between temporary and long-term orders, the types of situations where ex parte actions are appropriate, and the emotional experience of navigating an emergency legal process. Olivia also shares a grounding reflection to help listeners identify one safety-related question they may need clarity on.This episode is ideal for anyone navigating domestic violence, emergency custody concerns, or sudden financial risks — as well as anyone who wants to understand how courts handle urgent matters in divorce.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In this Divorce 101 A to Z episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell explores the emotional side of divorce that most people never talk about: the withdrawal of emotion. Brought to you by the letter W and the number 2, this episode explains why most divorces have two endings — the emotional ending and the legal ending — and how those timelines often unfold at different speeds for each partner.Listeners learn the subtle signs of emotional withdrawal, why it happens, and how this internal shift impacts the divorce process. Olivia also offers a grounding exercise to help listeners identify the two emotional truths they’re holding right now, creating space for clarity and self-compassion.This episode is ideal for anyone experiencing emotional disconnection in their marriage, preparing for divorce, or trying to understand a partner who appears distant or “already done.”🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In this Divorce 101 A to Z episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell explains the meaning of visitation — a traditional legal term that describes when and how a child spends time with each parent after separation or divorce. Brought to you by the letter V and the number 7, this episode highlights why most parenting schedules center around a seven-day structure and explores the most common visitation arrangements, including 2-2-5-5, 3-4-4-3, alternating weekends, supervised visitation, and long-distance parenting plans.Listeners learn the emotional impact of visitation for both parents and children and receive a grounding action step to help them identify the weekly routines that matter most to their child’s wellbeing. Olivia also reframes visitation in modern, child-centered language, emphasizing that the number of overnights does not define a parent’s worth.This episode is ideal for anyone building a parenting plan, navigating co-parenting, or trying to understand family law terminology.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In today’s Divorce 101 A to Z episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell breaks down one of the most essential pillars of divorce education: understanding your rights. Brought to you by the letter U and the number 5, this episode outlines the five fundamental rights every person should know when entering the divorce process, including the right to safety, financial transparency, marital assets, parenting involvement, and professional support.Listeners learn why understanding their rights protects them from pressure, misinformation, or fear-based decision-making — and how clarity creates stability during an emotionally turbulent time. Olivia also offers a grounding reflection to help listeners identify the five questions they need answered to feel more confident.This episode is ideal for anyone preparing for divorce, considering divorce, or supporting someone through the process.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In today’s Divorce 101 A to Z episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell breaks down the concept of a divorce timeline — one of the most grounding and helpful tools in the divorce process. Brought to you by the letter T and the number 6, this episode walks listeners through the six common stages of divorce: consideration, preparation, filing, negotiation, resolution, and implementation.Listeners learn why timelines matter, how they reduce overwhelm, and how emotional timelines often unfold differently from legal ones. Olivia also provides a simple reflection exercise to help listeners identify the six steps they anticipate in their own journey.This episode is ideal for anyone beginning the divorce process, planning ahead, or needing clarity about what comes next.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In this Divorce 101 A to Z episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell breaks down what a divorce settlement is and why it is the foundation of every finalized divorce. Brought to you by the letter S and the number 4, this episode walks listeners through the four key components of a settlement: parenting arrangements, support obligations, asset division, and debt division.Listeners learn how settlements are created, why most divorces end in settlement rather than trial, and how settlement acts as both a legal roadmap and an emotional milestone. Olivia also discusses the emotional experience of reaching settlement and offers a grounding action step to help listeners identify their core priorities.This episode is ideal for anyone negotiating their divorce, preparing for mediation, or trying to understand what a settlement actually includes.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In today’s Divorce 101 A to Z episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell breaks down one of the most important concepts in any divorce: resolution. Brought to you by the letter R and the number 3, this episode explains the three primary paths to resolution — agreement, mediation, and litigation — and helps listeners understand how their divorce might reach its final outcome.Listeners learn what resolution actually includes, from parenting plans to financial agreements, and why reaching resolution is as much an emotional milestone as a legal one. Olivia also offers a grounding reflection to help listeners identify the three outcomes they most want from their divorce process.This episode is ideal for anyone in the middle of divorce, preparing for negotiations, or trying to understand the roadmap to a finalized divorce.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In this Divorce 101 A to Z episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell explains what a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) is and why it’s essential for dividing certain retirement accounts during divorce. Brought to you by the letter Q and the number 1, this episode highlights the one category of assets that require a QDRO — qualified employer-sponsored retirement plans.Listeners learn how QDROs work, which accounts require them, common mistakes people make, and why these documents are crucial for protecting financial security and avoiding tax penalties. Olivia also explores the emotional side of dividing retirement funds and offers a grounding action step to help listeners begin the process with clarity.This episode is ideal for anyone dividing retirement assets, preparing for mediation, or navigating financial decisions in divorce.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Nobody walks into their marriage imagining they’ll one day be parsing text messages from a couch, wondering why their ex won’t respond, trying to figure out how to get through a conversation without it escalating into the same exhausting fight they’ve had a hundred times before. But here you are. And if you’ve ever told yourself “I don’t want this to be a high-conflict divorce” while feeling completely helpless to stop it from becoming one, this episode of Divorce Happens was made for you. Host Olivia Howell sits down with Tamar Barbash, a DCA certified ADR divorce coach and founder of NB Divorce Coaching, for an honest, grounded, and genuinely practical conversation about what it actually takes to reduce conflict in divorce — and why the answer is almost always closer than we think.Tamar’s approach to divorce coaching centers on a truth that is both simple and surprisingly hard to sit with: the only behavior we can change in a divorce is our own. She shares a story about a client who was frustrated that her ex wasn’t responding to her texts about an upcoming weekend schedule change. What looked like stonewalling, Tamar gently helped her see, was actually a bid for control from someone who had watched his entire life be reorganized without his input. The fix wasn’t to send better texts. It was to shift the question from “here’s what I need” to “what do you need from me to make this work?” — a small pivot with an enormous downstream effect. This is the kind of insight Tamar brings to every client conversation: not a judgment about who is right, but a clear-eyed examination of what is actually working and what small shift might change everything. She also speaks candidly about nervous system regulation — the underrated skill of knowing when you are too activated to respond well, and giving yourself permission to wait until you’re not.What makes this episode stand out is how much hope it holds without being naive about how hard any of this is. Tamar doesn’t promise easy. She talks about the moments when you genuinely have to hold your nose and take the high road with someone who, frankly, doesn’t deserve your generosity — and she reframes why doing it anyway is actually in your own interest. For anyone in the middle of a contentious divorce, the takeaway is quietly revolutionary: the goal isn’t to win. It’s to get to the other side with your values intact, your co-parenting relationship functional, and your energy preserved for the life you’re building. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

Some divorces end with two people who simply grew apart. And then there are divorces that come wrapped in chaos, denial, danger, and a particular kind of loneliness that is almost impossible to explain to anyone who hasn't lived it — the loneliness of loving someone whose addiction has made them a stranger. In this raw and deeply important episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Meredith Beardmore, a licensed therapist, author, and creator of the YouTube channel Men with Mare, to explore one of the least-talked-about intersections in the divorce space: what it actually means to divorce an addict. With both clinical expertise and hard-won personal experience, Meredith brings an honesty to this conversation that is rare, grounding, and long overdue.Meredith doesn't sugarcoat what divorcing someone with an alcohol or drug addiction — or a porn or gambling addiction — actually looks like. She explains that when addiction is present, you are not simply ending a marriage. You are competing with a disease. You are negotiating with someone who is not operating from the same reality, someone whose addiction shapes what they see, what they admit to, and what they're willing to confront. She draws a striking parallel between addiction patterns and narcissistic abuse, noting that the tactics — shifting stories, rewriting history, blaming the sober spouse — can look nearly identical, even when a formal diagnosis doesn't exist. Her own story is woven throughout: the moment she had to call the police to protect her son from an intoxicated ex who showed up uninvited; the agonizing legal battles to have addiction taken seriously as a safety concern; the request for a year of documented sobriety before unsupervised visitation — and the reaction that told her everything. "If someone's serious about recovery," she says quietly, "they will say yes to whatever you need."What listeners will leave with is not just a clearer picture of how dangerous and disorienting this kind of divorce can be — it's also a map toward survival. Meredith's core message is one of freedom: you do not have to walk on eggshells for the rest of your life. You do not have to center your entire existence around someone else's addiction. Life after divorcing an addict can be genuinely, measurably better — for you, and for your children. Her practical guidance is concrete: find a therapist first, then a trusted friend, and start breaking the isolation the addiction counted on to keep you trapped. For anyone in the thick of it right now, this episode is a lifeline. And for anyone on the other side trying to make sense of what they survived, it is a powerful reminder that they were never alone — and that what they did took extraordinary courage.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

If you've ever sat in your driveway and just... not been able to go inside, if you've spent years managing someone else's emotions just to keep the peace, if you've wondered whether you were losing your mind — this episode was made for you. In this raw, practical, and deeply validating conversation on Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Lisa Happ: former therapist, certified divorce coach, narcissistic abuse recovery coach, grief coach, and survivor of a coercive control relationship who lost her son while she was in the process of leaving it. Lisa is the kind of expert who has lived every inch of what she teaches, and that lived experience radiates through every word of this conversation. She works alongside her clients' legal teams, travels the world to appear in court with them, and is available by text at any hour — because she knows that a high-conflict divorce with a coercive or narcissistic partner is not something you can navigate with a once-a-week appointment. It's something you survive, day by day, breath by breath, with the right people in your corner.The centerpiece of this episode is Lisa's foundational truth: you cannot out-strategize your nervous system. You cannot out-logic it. You cannot outrun it. And if you try, it will take you down. From there, she offers a cascade of genuinely actionable tools for anyone in the middle of a high-conflict divorce or narcissistic abuse recovery — tools grounded in nervous system regulation, trauma-informed coaching, and the hard-won wisdom of someone who's been exactly where her clients are. She talks about the danger of over-venting: why telling your story over and over to anyone who will listen actually keeps your nervous system locked in the cycle of abuse, and why there's a crucial difference between venting and processing. She offers a brilliant, boundary-setting phrase — "Thank you for asking. I'm not open to talking about that right now. If anything changes, I'll let you know" — that shuts down intrusive questions without explanation or apology. And she delivers some of the most memorable nervous system hacks in Divorce Happens history: a specific five-to-eight breathing pattern that signals safety to your brain, screaming into a half-empty water bottle until there's nothing left, holding ice cubes, and naming the spiral voice in your head something that makes you laugh — or something ruder than that.What makes this episode truly special is the way Lisa holds two things at once: unflinching honesty about how hard this is, and absolute certainty that you will get through it. She is not here to sugarcoat coercive control or minimize what it costs to leave a relationship built on gaslighting, manipulation, financial abuse, and isolation. But she is also here to tell you, clearly and without reservation: you can build a whole new life on the other side of this. She did. Her clients do. The only way through is to stop trying to think your way out, find the team that actually understands what you're dealing with, and start learning to regulate the nervous system that has been running on crisis mode for years. If you're in a high-conflict divorce, recovering from narcissistic abuse, or just trying to figure out how to take the very first step toward getting support — Lisa's closing advice is for you: you don't have to commit to anything. Just make one call. Take one step. And see how it feels to finally choose yourself.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

You know that feeling — the text comes in from your ex, your stomach drops, and before you've even finished reading it your fingers are flying. You're typing something you'll probably regret, something that's going to make everything worse, and you know it even as you're doing it. If that sounds familiar, this episode of Divorce Happens was made for you. Host Olivia Howell sits down with Lyerly Spongberg — a certified ADR divorce coach, pre-mediation coach, co-parenting specialist, trauma-informed and coercive control-informed coach, and divorce survivor — to unpack one of the most quietly powerful communication tools available to anyone navigating a difficult divorce or high-conflict co-parenting relationship: strategic empathy. It's not a concept you'll find in most divorce advice columns, and it's not about being nice for the sake of being nice. It's about being strategic — and that distinction changes everything.Strategic empathy, sometimes called cognitive empathy, is the conscious act of putting yourself in your co-parent's or ex's shoes — not because you agree with them, not because they deserve it, but because doing so creates a pause between your reaction and your response, opens space for actual conversation, and quietly, powerfully, changes the dynamic of the conflict. Lyerly breaks it down with real-world examples that will sound immediately recognizable to anyone mid-divorce: the last-minute custody schedule change, the heated mediation table, the text that arrives out of nowhere and ruins your entire afternoon. She offers specific phrases — "I can understand how you might feel that way," "it sounds like this really matters to you" — that aren't about capitulation or people-pleasing. They're about buying yourself the one thing you desperately need in a triggered moment: a beat. A breath. A chance to respond instead of react. Olivia and Lyerly also tackle the hardest objection head-on: what do you do when you genuinely don't want to be empathetic, when this person has hurt you deeply and you feel like extending any grace at all is a betrayal of yourself? Lyerly's answer is both clear-eyed and compassionate: this isn't about them. It's about how YOU walk away feeling.The mindset shift at the heart of this episode is deceptively simple and genuinely transformative: you cannot control what your ex says or does, but you can control your behavior — and changing your behavior is the one lever you actually have. Strategic empathy is that lever. It's a muscle, Lyerly explains, one that gets stronger every time you use it, one that slowly reduces your reactivity to the triggers that have been hijacking your nervous system for years. Whether you're at the mediation table, in the middle of a custody dispute, navigating a high-conflict co-parenting relationship, or just trying to get through a difficult text exchange without blowing up your day — this episode will give you a new tool, a new framework, and a new question to ask yourself every time things get heated: how do I want to feel when this conversation is over?🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

If you've ever stared at a text from your abusive ex — cortisol flooding your body, hands shaking, entire day derailed before it even started — then this episode was made for you. In this powerful conversation on Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Rina Groeneveld, a certified high conflict divorce coach, mother of four, professional translator, and author of the forthcoming book AI Armor. Rina brings a rare and deeply personal expertise to the intersection of technology and trauma: she is not just a coach who helps domestic violence survivors navigate custody battles and high conflict divorces — she is someone who has lived it. And now, she has found a way to use one of the most powerful tools of our time to protect the people who need it most: AI.Rina's book, AI Armor, grew out of something she noticed in her own Facebook support group for women navigating high conflict separations — the exhausting, triggering, mentally consuming experience of having to read, decode, and respond to messages from an abusive ex. What started as a workshop experiment — using AI prompts to "decode" a narcissistic ex's texts, similar to the beloved NARC Decoder concept — quickly evolved into a full system. In this episode, Rina walks us through exactly how AI can act as a buffer between a survivor and their abuser: allowing them to process messages without being ambushed by trauma responses, helping them identify patterns in communication for court proceedings without having to relive years of abuse, and crafting legally strategic, emotionally boundaried responses without burning through hours of precious mental bandwidth. She also addresses the real concerns people have — from AI hallucinations to the possibility of AI chat logs being subpoenaed — with the same measured, nuanced clarity she brings to all of her coaching work.The mindset shift at the heart of this episode is this: you are not alone in the room with your abuser's words anymore. Whether you are in the middle of a high conflict custody battle, still receiving abusive texts years after separation, or preparing to face your ex in court, there are tools — and people — that can help carry the weight. Rina's encouragement to listeners is both practical and deeply humane: reach out, use every support available to you, and know that no matter how long the tunnel feels, there is light at the end of it. For anyone navigating coercive control, narcissistic abuse, or the grinding emotional labor of a high conflict divorce, this episode offers not just hope — but a concrete new strategy.🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/

In this cozy, candid book-club episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with therapist, writer, and nationally recognized divorce expert Oona Metz to talk through the stories inside her new book, Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women. Rather than focusing on legal strategy or paperwork, they linger on the moments that feel almost too familiar: the late-night Google searches, the invisible labor that’s been quietly crushing you for years, the way you can feel both devastated and deeply relieved at the same time. Drawing on Oona’s three decades of supporting women through divorce, they explore how the book’s vignettes mirror the real lives of listeners who are quietly wondering, “Is it really this bad, or am I overreacting?” As Olivia and Oona move through different chapters, they unpack specific stories—about staying in the same house while separating, about trying to co-parent with someone who still pushes your buttons, about finding yourself again after years of shrinking, and how the women in Unhitched often don’t see themselves as “strong” even as they’re doing impossibly hard things every day. This conversation feels less like an interview and more like being on the couch with two friends who get it. Together, Olivia and Oona connect the book’s stories to the emotional reality of listeners—especially women who have been the default parent, the peacekeeper, the emotional manager—and talk about how validating it can be just to see your experience on the page. They end with a reminder that divorce is not a personal failure, but a life transition you’re allowed to move through with support, softness, and hope for what comes next. Unhitched is positioned as a companion for every stage of that journey: thinking about leaving, in the thick of it, or rebuilding your life on the other side. 🔗 Check out Fresh Starts Registry:The first & only divorce registry + support platform ➡ https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartsregistry/📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreshStartsRegistry🎙 Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/divorcehappenspod/📬 Magazine: https://divorceguidemagazine.com/