Inside Voice with Martha's Mind

injuried me is hopefully over! Climbing some hills and Sudoku!

i did a spoken word and I wanted to break it down.

it's an update

let's have just a ramble and a bamble about life and thoughts after a heavy episode.

It's been a really head-eating topic of mine for a while. I am surprised I haven't seen someone speak about this before. Usually, feelings around grief/loss, you tend to find similar conversations. I struggled to find others who have spoken about the guilt when receiving their loved ones money and heirlooms. I hope this is recived in the way it is intended to to heard.

okay my old diagnosis was PDD-NOS, which stood for pervasive disorder, not otherwise specified it is an autism diagnosis for individual showing significant social communication or behavioural delays who do not yet meet the full criteria for autism.

I'm back after another slump of low mood and spiralling. With much MUCH help from my boyfriend, friends, class pass, Vice and getting rid of a job that made me feel insecure. I'm ready again to chat :)

understanding how to rebuild work energy again, returning to work after time off/ learning a completely new environment. autistic overwhelm - not just a cafe closed!life updates!The OG - https://www.marthasmind.co.uk/

Lets work this out together, and it's not a one conversation then done type of chat. But understanding a needs of an autistic person in a reltainhip is a process. A constant one at that.

OCE, online vulnerability, starting a podcast - Katie hosts Figuring it out as i go along It was so nice to discuss topics that I find are hard to come along, OCD being very much an unspoken topic that truly shows the hardship of a disorder that many don't know the true scope of the problem. It was also so interesting to speak to someone else who also shares a lot of themselves online and how they navigate that too.

okay, lets be real. When I started this podcast, people might have listened just to 'show face'. after that, yeah I kept up something which probably didn't gain that much traction. This episode is the kick up the BUM... start something even if you are terrible.

Still riding a high after holidays, good dates and a pop up event with Girls Don't Sync.

original blog post - HEREFelt good to revist an old post and feel so vastly different to how I am now ALTHOUGH, I can definitely note that people will / still feel like this.

I wrote this piece for a work thing, so when I came across the research on this LINKLINK You can have the biggest social group and still feel like there aren't plans forming or that you're struggling to be social or connect with people. I feel you.

Quitting my job - hard but has to be done.Seeing your ex in the supermarket (hide me behind the cereal pls) The wheel of priorities in life.

As the comeback episode came out, I wanted to catch up more so on how I am NOW. Right now I have been catching myself in escapism practices like the cinema, cold plunges and DJing.

so my london marathon dream... it wasn't the dream I had thought it was going to do. Sadly sometimes the pressure we put on ourselves to enjoy an expiernce can really hinder the actual moment itself. I talk about \- the event day itself (making a comical martha moment)- how the event was- learning that sometimes what we want might not bring us joy.

I've had a really hard time mentally the last few months. I can't even pinpoint exactly why, but it's been ropey. This is an incredibly honest chat from me. TW: Suicide/ death

I learnt why people on the spectrum might really struggle *more with rejection than maybe others. This helped me with my most recent feelings around seeing someone.

Although love may be in the air for some this month with Valentine's day round the corner, breakups are so hard to navigate. Truly an underestimated time for some people and how it can cause us more pain than we realise. Louise has been through her share of breakups and shared her mind on how to relly get through them with (hopefully) less pain! Knowing how to reply on friends, telling your boss and why getting new sheets is a MUST!

I am back after my time away in Australia trying to figure out life. It was good to have a break break from seeing the same things and doing the same things, which meant I couldn't think about the same things. BUT, I definitely was met with some confronting feelings and made me question my sense of self. To read my latest blog post - READ HERE

I felt the lowness in my voice and pace of this episode. Thinking (at the time) I was fluent and eloqent, yet on reflection I sound tired, drained and lacking my normal self's energy. Totally fine and the episode explains why.

Meet Quentin and his mind. Quentin and I share the same need for music and how much it can help us with our moods. Quentin shares his past self, what that looked like and how that felt. Quentin shared his past desire to be a therapist but found the same passion for helping others through the love of music and what that can do for someone. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to Quentin. Articulate, calm and open.

Delving into Millie's Mind with my favourite set of question cards from We are Not Really Strangers.

it's been a long time coming for me to really share my thoughts on the 2 years I've been jobless. Yeah, it was fun to begin with, but sadly the long toll of waking up feeling purposeless and no sense of accomplishment has really hit my headspace and self-confidence like a brick to glass. I *really* know I am not alone. But it does feel I havn't really had honest chats about unemployment like this with anyone. So I needed my inside voice to really speak on this episode.

I've known Juju since early years at university. We watched our lives frown odd as we graduated in the pandemic but I never felt so close to Juju and thats how we formed our very wonderful friendship. We speak about how music is the source of expression. How emotions can be superpowers, and navigating the world of social anxieties of networking.

As the social occasion season is upon us, remind yourself that it's okay to say no to things. Know your own energy output. Talking about my past 'flaker era' was hard. It was hard knowing I was being labelled as the 'flaker' and what that did for my self-esteem.

Let me introduce you to my best friend of 20 years. Millie is such a character, always has been! Our friendship has grown and developed over the years. We discussed what it's like keeping up a friendship for so long, would we be friends now if we met today? Millie has recently been diagnosed with ADHD and so she chats about the impact its had on work and friends/ family. I love millie and I know you'll love her too.

after completing my 50k ultra marathon and once again, being reminded why i love the sport. me and my mom got to reconnect and it’s so valuable that me and her get on like peas in a pod!!

I let my mind go completely numb and with that came out free-flowing thoughts. I didn't feel like I had to think hard about what to say. I just wanted to feel the words and thoughts come out and see what was lying within me, desperate to be said.

catch ups and being thankful for the space life has been gifting me recently. having a core group of friends is really something I think *most* would like to have and it feels harder than ever to find people (and a group of them) at that!.

After a very open soul episode late week, its almost a 180 in how I am waking up and taking on the days. I also really wanted to give a reflection chat based off lastweeks (sad) duvet day episode.

honest chats, like really honest and real and present conversations. I think like many, we don't have a 'reason' to be sad. We just feel overwhelmed of emotions. Duvet days aren't uncommon, more assocated with a physical illness. So why does it feel so wrong when it's a mental illness day? It feels even harder today, really wobbly about life because I've had it so good? weird I know. but my brain, like others, doesn't take extremes very well.

I think this might be one of my favourite episodes because, I have always found it uncomfortable being comfortable BUT this very much goes against my autism (which I know, it's a very contrasting mind to be in). But finding inner peace with the idea of change is something I am working towards, in the biggest way - moving to Australia!

I feel the slow black cloud of purpose in my life about to break into a rainstorm. Still trying to be as honest as I can, my martha shine has been dwinderling recently.

speaking to Jacob was a dream with ease. It felt so refreshing and comfortable to speak to someone who completely understands the hardships and battles of overcoming anxeity. Jacob speaks about his struggles with anxiety around health, how travel helped him and why men's mental health conversations are needed.

I was a qualified nutritionist for a long time. Whilst also having clients who struggled with food, I was (and still) struggling with my food issues. After a setback this week with my binging I wanted to have those open chats I had with clients, and something I needed to voice and connect with myself again too. Food is a very tricky topic for me. There is SO MUCH TO SAY about the psychology around food so please remember - this is not the whole conversation around food and our choices. Be kind on your mind - I promise it's the best recipe for finding the growth you want x

Talking to the wonderful Imogen in this more-lighted heart chat was a real tonic for me. Imogen's upbeat outlook on rejection in the performing industry was a real uplift for me. A Splash of dating chats always tickles my soul with Imogen. Enjoy this episode with Imogen's Inside Voice.

A lot to unpack in the last few weeks for me. - The solo martha being scared but blessed to find someone who is making me see the lovely side of being less 'solo'. - family honesty hour. families are hard, even with the most loveliest of families. - finally my dream is coming true!!

I have started doing my final project around dating apps. How they have changed so much with society. Are they actually fit for purpose? Have we given up? I have used dating apps for 5 years on and off and felt like as an autistic person, do dating apps help me?

Emily joined me today to talk about her loss of grieveing of her grandad, and incredidly close friend. Talking about grieving someone young and processing loss in your 20s from some in their 20s is a conversation and experience is something that is hard to talk about, Emily was so brave to open and be real on the episode. I am extremely proud of her strength and not just for turning up for the podcast, but for turning up for herself. For anyone that needs this...

dating has always had its challenges, communicating is a whole different story. I am seeing myself grow much more confident in telling people who I see how I feel and effectively seeking people who can align with my needs. Does this always work? Of course not!

SO I DID AN ULTRA MARATHON i am so unbelievably excited and proud that I did an ultra marathon. I’ve been training for this since January and me and my friend Liam completed it. our journey took us from Manchester to Liverpool and in seven hours and six minutes we completed that journey. Running has always been my mental health saviour kept me grounded and made me exactly who I am and made me strong and sharing this journey is so important. I hope this is inspires anybody who is thinking of taking up running, you can do hard things!

I struggle so much more these days when I experience a 'real autistic moment'. Because I forget. Because I manage so well. I craved to be like 'everyone else' so now that in adulthood same thing I couldn't do as a child I can do now. I find I get so upset with myself more because I can manage it better.  I am forever feeding the inner child Martha to be 'like everyone else'.  Blog post - ⁠I ran out again⁠

This might be one of my favourite episodes. It can be hard to find the right words for me, my inside voice can be so eloquent and then facing a microphone, even I lose all my meaning sometimes. I found this episode flowed more than normal. The Saturday struggles I've always felt, my binge update (still such a hard topic to talk about) and staying in your lane with self-development. I felt quite raw a few episodes ago, needing to step back and look after myself has helped me feel more comfortable to show up. ALSO* I have some new blog posts on the original - Martha's Mind

My lovely guest, Tudor, came into the space and shared his inside voice about moving countries and experiencing loneliness. The differences in how other countries talk and approach mental health chats and Tudor's appreciation for sleep!!

So I am one week from finishing my masters. I feel the cloud of purpose sink in over me again. I felt this when I came back to the UK a year ago. Not having a purpose in life is a really subtle but intense feeling. It grabs you by the ankles, as you tr to wake up and get going. Having the extra weight on your every move of 'what do to today?' was the reason I did this masters in the first place. It was the reason I started this podcast!! I am scared again.

Before you all *sigh* that you think this is about running. It is. But its more than that. For anyone that is starting out, let me tell you, running isnt really about running. And if you think it is, listen to this.

It was only because I was writing in my journal. yes we need private moments for ourselves. but I think if we don't ever share those real vulnerable (and yes uncomfortable) feelings, how can we connect to feel less alone? So I am taking the first plunge knowing and hoping others feel the same too.

Peaches has been my friend for a very long time (the exact amount said in the episode!). And when I first met her everything was normal. She became increasingly very ill. She developed Crohn's and as a result, her life changed. Peaches discusses navigating early teenagehood with a chronic illness, how she manages her condition and what life looks like now for her. Peaches also has a podcast - Branching Out Podcast