PODCAST · society
Lit AF Relationships
by Sarah Cohan
Lit AF podcast is your resource for healing and transforming attachment styles. Sarah Cohan is a relationship and communication coach. She helps folx end old relationship patterns like people-pleasing and codependency in order to show up confidently in secure relationships. It is possible to change your attachment style. Tune in to start healing today. Website: [Sarahcohan.com](https://www.sarahcohan.com/)Instagram: [@itsmesarahcohan](https://www.instagram.com/itsmesarahcohan/)Email: [email protected]
Episodes
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266. Healing the anxious preocuppied attachment style with Becca
Today, I talk with Becca about how she overcame her anxious-preoccupied attachment style to get over her ex and finally start dating. When we started working together, she had been struggling to get over her ex for over a year. She was new to dating and felt inexperienced. She was working…
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265. What husband’s with insecure attachment need to hear
My client recently asked me based on all the couples that I work with what advice I would give to a man that wants to have a better marriage. I told him to take his wife of the pedestal so they are on an even playing field. Naturally, I had to record this episode so you have this information too.…
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264. Attachment Styles Explained
In today’s episode, I go over the four different attachment styles and their main patterns in relationships. I talk about their biggest fears, how they show up in relationships, and what they should focus on to create earned secure attachment. I also explain the dynamics at play in the anxious...
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263. When Your Relationship Feels Hard
This episode is to help you through the times when your relationship or marriage feels hard. I call them low love cycles. And every relationship has them. I share four tools to help you through the low cycle. And I even pull some wisdom from the superstar herself, Taylor Swift. No I’m not a...
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262. How to Set Loving and Supportive Boundaries
Today I’m spilling the tea about how to reframe boundaries as a loving and supportive act for a healthy relationship. If you have an anxious-preoccupied, dismissive avoidant, or fearful-avoidant attachment style, you likely don’t set boundaries at all, set too many boundaries to avoid...
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261. Rebuild Trust With Your Partner to Have a Deeper Connection
Every longterm relationship will eventually pick up some scrapes and bruises. Some wounds will be bigger than others. But it is important to repair these wounds in order to rebuild a deeper connection with each other. If you’ve experienced betrayal, disappointment, or feeling let down in your...
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260. Are You and Your Partner Stuck in the Same Repetitive Argument?
If you’re in a long-term relationship or marriage, you likely have a repetitive argument that you keep coming back to. Usually there’s a word, phrase, or tone that will set one of you off, and that reaction escalates into conflict. It can feel like this fight never gets resolved. I share a recent...
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259. Are you doubting whether or not you’re in the right relationship?
Do you spend a lot of time doubting your relationship? Do you immediately go to look on Zillow after having conflict with your partner? If you tend to fantasize about hitting the easy button on your relationship, this episode is for you. I share why the anxious preoccupied, fearful avoidant, and...
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258. The Anxious Avoidant Relationship Pattern
If you experience a push-pull dynamic in your relationship, this episode is for you. I explain the common anxious avoidant relationship pattern. I talk about the anxious preoccupied and dismissive avoidant attachment types and why they have a natural push-pull tendency. I also explain why these…
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257. Listening to defend vs listening to connect
Are you listening to defend yourself with your partner instead of listening to connect? In this episode, I break down why you feel the need to defend yourself when your partner is sharing. I explain which attachment styles tend to do this. And then I share how you can work on listening to connect...
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256. Stop Offering Solutions to Your Partner
Is your partner shutting down when you’re offering solutions to them? On this week’s podcast episode, I explain why offering solutions to your partner who is just trying to share with you isn’t working. They feel like you’re telling them what to do. You don’t feel like your help is being...
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255. How to Not Get Swept Up in Your Partner's Emotions
Do you get caught up in your partner’s emotions when they are angry or disregulated? Do you feel the need to match their emotion? When we react to our partner’s emotions, it actually just means we have two disregulated people instead of one. I talk about why we do this and simple ways to not get...
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254. How do secure people set boundaries?
If you have an insecure attachment style, you likely don’t set boundaries or set them from a reactionary place. In this episode, I break down how the different attachment styles approach or avoid setting boundaries. Then I talk about how a securely attached person sets boundaries. Tune in to hear...
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253. Forgiveness After Betrayal
On today’s episode, I talk about the important process of forgiveness after betrayal. Betrayal can feel really painful, and when we experience it we often tell ourselves really painful stories like I am not enough or I am not worthy. This episode covers how to get started on the path to…
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252. It’s safe to have needs in your relationship
If you grew up with an insecure attachment style you likely have a story about what it means to have a need. The dismissive avoidant believes they are a burden for having needs. The anxious preoccupied believes their needs will get in the way of having a close relationship. What ends up happening...
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251. The cost of reacting to our emotions
In this episode I slow down a real life example of a coaching session I had this week with a couple working on their healthy communication. I share how you can take a small tiny moment with your partner that would usually escalate conflict and instead reduce the conflict between you so you can...
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250. Seven things I wish I had known before I got married
Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043 Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website:...
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249. Relationship math that causes defensiveness
If you’re getting caught hashing over the details and disagreeing with your partner’s version of the story you are stuck in relationship math and it’s hurting your relationship. When we nitpick the details our partner has shared we’re losing out on the big picture, how they’re feeling. I share…
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248. How to get rid of blame in your relationship
In this week’s episode I talk about how blame can be used in a relationship to take us out of our own power. I share how I have blamed my partner (and still catch myself doing this) to avoid feeling discomfort. It’s an easy escape hatch, but it robs us of our own power and independence. I explain...
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246. Happiness comes from within, not the person you’re dating
In this week’s episode, I talk about the dangers of outsourcing our happiness to someone else. I share what it means to be attached to someone with expectations and visions of the future, and why we never want to be in that position. I talk about the best thing to do when you’re single and…
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246. Why Arguing is Important for Healthy Relationships
Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043 Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website:...
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245. Forgiving old hurts in your relationship
If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you likely have some past hurts that you’ve experienced in your relationship. This could be betrayal, disappointment, grief, or heartache. After many years, they start to add up. And, eventually, we start resenting our partner because of the backlog…
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244. Why secure people share their needs
If you think you’re a burden for having needs or are worried people will leave if you have them, this episode is for you. I talk about why personal needs are inherently neutral for people who are securely attached. I explain how they view them, communicate them, and feel when they are met or...
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243. Why Regulating Our Emotions Helps Us Fight Better
If you don’t know how to have conflict without it escalating into a big fight, this episode is for you. I talk about my secret weapon to helping you have a productive fight that stays on topic, and that secret is regulating emotions. I know, emotions are scary. But when you learn how to regulate...
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242. Stop controlling your partner and get what you want
In this episode, I talk about how to stop using control in romantic relationships. Two insecure attachment types have a high need for control and I break down why so you can understand where this pattern comes from. I also share what to do instead in order to get what you want from your…
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241. An Inside Look at Healthy Relationships with Secure Attachment
Are you curious about what a healthy relationship looks like? Do you have an inkling that something in your relationship is off? This episode peels back the curtain to show you what a healthy and secure relationship looks like. I talk about what arguments look and feel like, how it feels to come...
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240. Should I break up or should I stay?
If you’re not sure if your partner is the right person, this episode is for you. It’s going to help you understand how to make the decision to stay or leave. I share about common patterns that pop up when we make these types of decisions and how to move through them so you don’t get stuck in...
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239. Want More Reassurance from Your Partner?
Do you want more reassurance from your partner? Do you feel like they’re always trying to take space away from you or you’re not sure if they want to be in a relationship with you? This episode will help you understand how to get what you need from your partner without having to be someone...
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238. Do you want your partner to share more?
In this episode of Lit AF Relationships, Sarah Cohan breaks down the real reason your partner might not be sharing and the surprising thing you might be doing that makes it harder for them to open up. Through personal stories from her own marriage and powerful client examples, Sarah explains how...
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237. When Emotions Feel Unsafe: Inside the Dismissive Avoidant Mind
Do you feel like you can only rely on yourself or that it’s a sign of weakness to share your feelings? If so, this episode is for you. I share why the dismissive avoidant attachment style is brought up to think they need to be independent. I also share why the dismissive-avoidant is cut off from...
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236. If you’re doubting you’re in the right marriage
Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043 Follow Lit AF...
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235. How to have better fights
Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. So many couples tell me they don’t want to fight as much as they and that their fights never feel resolved, but here’s the truth: fighting is a bid for connection, we’re just...
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234. Overcoming marriage pressure and fear of commitment with Mycah and Ian
On today’s episode, Mycah and Ian share how they both overcame their insecure anxious and avoidant attachment styles in order to create a happy and peaceful relationship. Mycah wanted to get engaged, married and start living together within a year. Ian was having doubts about commitment and had...
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233. The Freedom on the Other Side of Jealousy
I used to be that person. Raging jealousy. Constant suspicion. Side-eyeing my partner’s female friendships like it was my full-time job. Then I healed my attachment style… and everything changed. These days, jealousy barely shows up in my romantic relationship. But surprise, it still sneaks into...
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232. When Your Partner’s Story About You Isn’t Reality
Your partner is going to believe things about you that just… aren’t true. And the moment you start worrying about hurting their feelings or believe even a tiny piece of their story, you’re hooked. Guilt kicks in. You over-explain. You bend. You twist. You try to prove something that was never…
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231. How She Learned to Say “No” with Jane
Today’s guest shares how she overcame her fearful avoidant attachment style to make big life changes and end a longterm situationship. Jane used to struggle with saying no so she found herself in a soul-sucking job, in a city she didn’t want to live, with an on-again-off-again partner that wasn’t...
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230. Overcoming Cheating in your Marriage
Cheating sucks. It can cause alot of pain in your marriage and might feel impossible to overcome. If you’re going through it right now you’re probably stuck in a cycle of punishment and withdrawing or defensiveness. It is possible to overcome the real pain and hurt that you’re experiencing. And...
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229. The Three Essentials to Making a Lasting Marriage
Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043 Follow Lit AF...
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228. Overcoming Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Style for her Daughter with Mabel
Today my guest is Mabel who worked with me to overcome her avoidant attachment style. Her goal was to clean up her relationship with her daughter. Her daughter is highly emotional and was prone to have full shutdowns when she got frustrated doing things like piano practice or homework. Mabel was...
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227. The Number One Behavior to Create a Secure Relationship
If there is one skill that transforms relationships from shaky to secure, it is validation. And yes, it is hard AF. In this episode, we’re diving into why this deceptively simple tool is the very first thing I teach couples and why it matters so much for creating secure attachment. Validation is...
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226. Stop Going With the Flow: You’re Allowed to Want Things
Are you “chill,” “go with the flow,” or “totally fine with whatever”? Spoiler alert… that might actually be people-pleasing in disguise. And people-pleasing is basically lying about what you really want. In this episode, we dig into why going with the flow usually means “I’m too scared to say…
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225. The Real Reason Your Need For Space Is Killing Your Relationship
Avoidants often need space because conflict never felt safe growing up. They want peace, so when tough conversations come up, they shut down and exit fast. If you are the one opening up, it can feel like abandonment. They take space without explaining it and often skip the repair. This pattern…
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224: How to Stop Saying Yes When You Mean No
If you catch yourself people-pleasing, this episode is for you. We’ll explore why you over-give, go with the flow, or downplay your needs, and how it’s quietly draining your energy and creating distance in your relationship. When you’re always focused on keeping the peace, you lose touch with…
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223. How to Stop a Fight Before It Starts
Ever had an argument spin out of control before you even knew what happened? In this episode, we’re talking about how to stop a fight dead in its tracks — with validation. Yep, the one thing that sounds simple but feels impossible when emotions are high. You’ll learn why validation isn’t about...
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222. The Secret Underneath Your Resentment
Ever catch yourself simmering in quiet resentment toward your partner? You’re not alone. In this week’s episode, we’re diving into what resentment really is (spoiler: it’s just anger with a side of overgiving). We’ll unpack why we do it, usually to prove we’re “enough”, and how it drains our…
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221. Understanding Conflict Avoidance
Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. If you avoid conflict like it’s the plague, this episode is for you. We’re talking about what it really means to be conflict avoidant, how defensiveness, minimizing, or...
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218. Your relationship questions answered
Ever wondered why your anxious self keeps falling for that avoidant hottie? Or why you suddenly lose interest once someone actually likes you back? In this week’s episode, I’m diving into all your juicy relationship questions. We’ll break down how to figure out your attachment style, what “earned...
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219. Why small things become bigger fights
Ever cracked a joke or shared something with your partner, only to suddenly find yourself in a full-blown fight? 😳 One second you’re laughing, the next it’s accusations, defensiveness, and tension. In this episode, I’ll share a real client example of how quickly things can go sideways what to do...
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218. Your Perfectionism is Getting in the Way of your Relationship
Perfectionism might look like striving for A+++ work, but in relationships it often leads to burnout, resentment, and never feeling enough. In this episode of Lit AF Relationships, I share how perfectionism shows up in love, why it keeps you stuck in people-pleasing, and the surprisingly freeing...
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217. How to Start Doing Impossible Things
What if the only thing standing between you and the life you want is your thoughts? In this episode of Lit AF Relationships, host and relationship coach Sarah Cohan breaks down how our beliefs shape our reality—and why we sometimes have to create new ones before we have any proof they’re true.…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Lit AF podcast is your resource for healing and transforming attachment styles. Sarah Cohan is a relationship and communication coach. She helps folx end old relationship patterns like people-pleasing and codependency in order to show up confidently in secure relationships. It is possible to change your attachment style. Tune in to start healing today. Website: [Sarahcohan.com](https://www.sarahcohan.com/)Instagram: [@itsmesarahcohan](https://www.instagram.com/itsmesarahcohan/)Email: [email protected]
HOSTED BY
Sarah Cohan
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Lit AF Relationships have?
Lit AF Relationships currently has 200 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Lit AF Relationships about?
Lit AF podcast is your resource for healing and transforming attachment styles. Sarah Cohan is a relationship and communication coach. She helps folx end old relationship patterns like people-pleasing and codependency in order to show up confidently in secure relationships. It is possible to change...
How often does Lit AF Relationships release new episodes?
Lit AF Relationships publishes regularly with 200 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Lit AF Relationships?
You can listen to Lit AF Relationships on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Lit AF Relationships?
Lit AF Relationships is created and hosted by Sarah Cohan.
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