Lit AF Relationships

If you have an insecure attachment style, you likely don’t set boundaries or set them from a reactionary place. In this episode, I break down how the different attachment styles approach or avoid setting boundaries. Then I talk about how a securely attached person sets boundaries.Tune in to hear why secure people use them to sustain their relationships and my simple process to setting boundaries in a loving and supportive way. It’s an important tool to help you create a better relationship.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

On today’s episode, I talk about the important process of forgiveness after betrayal. Betrayal can feel really painful, and when we experience it we often tell ourselves really painful stories like I am not enough or I am not worthy. This episode covers how to get started on the path to forgiveness I share the surprising first step that doesn’t actually even include forgiveness. But it will help you get started.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If you grew up with an insecure attachment style you likely have a story about what it means to have a need. The dismissive avoidant believes they are a burden for having needs. The anxious preoccupied believes their needs will get in the way of having a close relationship. What ends up happening is nobody gets their needs met. In this episode, I share how to start seeing your needs as neutral and healthy to have. Tune in to learn how to have a healthy relationship with your needs.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

In this episode I slow down a real life example of a coaching session I had this week with a couple working on their healthy communication. I share how you can take a small tiny moment with your partner that would usually escalate conflict and instead reduce the conflict between you so you can actually have a conversation. When we stop reacting to our own emotions that’s when we can treat our partner with the love and respect they deserve. Tune in to start having healthy productive conflict today.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If you’re getting caught hashing over the details and disagreeing with your partner’s version of the story you are stuck in relationship math and it’s hurting your relationship. When we nitpick the details our partner has shared we’re losing out on the big picture, how they’re feeling. I share the most important thing to work on to get out of relationship math so you can start connecting with your partner. Tune in to learn how to drop this harmful habit.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

In this week’s episode I talk about how blame can be used in a relationship to take us out of our own power. I share how I have blamed my partner (and still catch myself doing this) to avoid feeling discomfort. It’s an easy escape hatch, but it robs us of our own power and independence. I explain what to use instead in order to feel more empowered in your relationship.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Book a free 60-minute healthy relationships roadmap call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

In this week’s episode, I talk about the dangers of outsourcing our happiness to someone else. I share what it means to be attached to someone with expectations and visions of the future, and why we never want to be in that position. I talk about the best thing to do when you’re single and looking for someone so that you stay detached in the process. And finally, I talk about how control can affect our relationships and get in the way of unconditional love. Tune in to learn more about how to reclaim your happiness.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you likely have some past hurts that you’ve experienced in your relationship. This could be betrayal, disappointment, grief, or heartache. After many years, they start to add up. And, eventually, we start resenting our partner because of the backlog of issues that have occurred. We see each other as adversaries instead of partners. In this episode, I talk about how to start forgiving your partner without feeling like you’re letting them off the hook. Tune in to start feeling supported by your partner again.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If you think you’re a burden for having needs or are worried people will leave if you have them, this episode is for you. I talk about why personal needs are inherently neutral for people who are securely attached. I explain how they view them, communicate them, and feel when they are met or sometimes not met. I explain why needs feel impossible if you have an insecure attachment style and how to inch closer to sharing them so you feel more supported and seen in your relationship. Tune in to start having a safe and secure relationship.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If you don’t know how to have conflict without it escalating into a big fight, this episode is for you. I talk about my secret weapon to helping you have a productive fight that stays on topic, and that secret is regulating emotions. I know, emotions are scary. But when you learn how to regulate them it makes a world of difference to showing up for your partner and feeling like your fights are safe and getting resolved. Tune in to learn how to start fighting better and feeling safer in your relationship. Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

In this episode, I talk about how to stop using control in romantic relationships. Two insecure attachment types have a high need for control and I break down why so you can understand where this pattern comes from. I also share what to do instead in order to get what you want from your partner.And I also share what to do if your partner can’t meet your need. It is possible to drop control and still get your needs met. Tune in to start using unconditional love in your relationship.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Are you curious about what a healthy relationship looks like? Do you have an inkling that something in your relationship is off? This episode peels back the curtain to show you what a healthy and secure relationship looks like. I talk about what arguments look and feel like, how it feels to come home to your person, and the deep belief that comes from knowing you’re with the right person. Tune in to learn more about what secure attachment looks like.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If you’re not sure if your partner is the right person, this episode is for you. It’s going to help you understand how to make the decision to stay or leave. I share about common patterns that pop up when we make these types of decisions and how to move through them so you don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis. I finish the episode talking about how you figure out how to make a healthy relationship work or decision to walk away. It’s time to get rid of the confusion and indecision. And start finding or making safe relationships where you feel supported.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Do you want more reassurance from your partner? Do you feel like they’re always trying to take space away from you or you’re not sure if they want to be in a relationship with you? This episode will help you understand how to get what you need from your partner without having to be someone different. This is not about getting rid of your need for reassurance but instead knowing how to get them on board to meet your needs while you are also meeting their needs. Tune in to finally feel reassured in your relationship.Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

In this episode of Lit AF Relationships, Sarah Cohan breaks down the real reason your partner might not be sharing and the surprising thing you might be doing that makes it harder for them to open up.Through personal stories from her own marriage and powerful client examples, Sarah explains how certain patterns like criticism, emotional reactions, and “weaponized curiosity” can unintentionally shut down the very vulnerability you’re craving. She also shares the mindset shift that transformed her own relationship after betrayal and helped couples she works with move from distance and doubt to deep connection where both partners feel seen and heard.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Do you feel like you can only rely on yourself or that it’s a sign of weakness to share your feelings? If so, this episode is for you. I share why the dismissive avoidant attachment style is brought up to think they need to be independent. I also share why the dismissive-avoidant is cut off from their emotions. If you’re in a relationship with a dismissive avoidant this will help you understand why they need so much space and why feelings are so hard for them.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. So many couples tell me they don’t want to fight as much as they and that their fights never feel resolved, but here’s the truth: fighting is a bid for connection, we’re just going about it in a tense and uncomfortable way. In this episode, I share a real live example of why fights escalate and how to stop them in their tracks. I talk about why we make conflict mean something about us, how anxious and avoidant attachment styles escalate differently, how to catch the difference between having a feeling and reacting to it, and why a short break, no more than ten minutes, can actually protect connection. If you’ve ever watched a small disagreement spiral into something much bigger, this episode will help you fight in a way that brings you closer instead of pulling you apart.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

On today’s episode, Mycah and Ian share how they both overcame their insecure anxious and avoidant attachment styles in order to create a happy and peaceful relationship. Mycah wanted to get engaged, married and start living together within a year. Ian was having doubts about commitment and had fears of making the wrong decision about marriage. She felt impatient about how their relationship was slowly progressing and frustrated that she hadn’t even met Ian’s momyet. When we first started to work together it was hard for them to share how they were feeling without it escalating to a fight. But eventually they learned the tools to validate each other’s emotions, to share vulnerably instead of reacting from their feelings, and to communicate their needs without expectations. These tools built a new level of safety for Ian to feel like the time was finally right to introduce Mycah to his mom. Tune in to hear how they did it and what it’s like to have secure attachment.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

I used to be that person. Raging jealousy. Constant suspicion. Side-eyeing my partner’s female friendships like it was my full-time job.Then I healed my attachment style… and everything changed.These days, jealousy barely shows up in my romantic relationship. But surprise, it still sneaks into friendships, work dynamics, and comparison spirals when I’m not paying attention.In this episode, we’re unpacking what jealousy is actually about. It’s distrust, old betrayal wounds, unmet needs, and the sneaky habit of outsourcing your worth through comparison.We’ll talk about:• Why jealousy is rooted in fear and childhood conditioning• The unmet needs hiding underneath jealousy (attention, loyalty, being chosen)• How comparison quietly steals your joy and self-trust• What happens when you stop measuring yourself against others• The kind of freedom and unconditional love that exists on the other side of jealousyIf jealousy has ever made you feel ashamed, reactive, or “too much,” this episode will help you understand it without judging yourself.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Your partner is going to believe things about you that just… aren’t true.And the moment you start worrying about hurting their feelings or believe even a tiny piece of their story, you’re hooked. Guilt kicks in. You over-explain. You bend. You twist. You try to prove something that was never yours to carry.In this episode, I share how being told “we always do what you want” sent me into years of people-pleasing (spoiler: it didn’t change the story), why many of our relationship beliefs come straight from childhood, and how those beliefs shape what we’re able to see and receive in partnership.This episode is about separating fact from belief, untangling your emotions from your partner’s stories, and creating a relationship that’s actually sustainable long-term, not just emotionally reactive in the moment.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Today’s guest shares how she overcame her fearful avoidant attachment style to make big life changes and end a longterm situationship. Jane used to struggle with saying no so she found herself in a soul-sucking job, in a city she didn’t want to live, with an on-again-off-again partner that wasn’t making her happy. She couldn’t say no to her boss, her friends, or her say the ultimate no to her relationship. She shares how she overcame all of this and made big life changes to get her closer to the life she wants to live. If it’s time to end your relationship this one is for you.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Cheating sucks. It can cause alot of pain in your marriage and might feel impossible to overcome. If you’re going through it right now you’re probably stuck in a cycle of punishment and withdrawing or defensiveness. It is possible to overcome the real pain and hurt that you’re experiencing. And there is a specific process to help you speed up the healing. My hope is that this episode helps you understand how to move forward and gives you hope that when you overcome it you will have a better marriage than before the cheating. That was my own experience. Stop the suffering and start feeling better, tune in now.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Today my guest is Mabel who worked with me to overcome her avoidant attachment style. Her goal was to clean up her relationship with her daughter. Her daughter is highly emotional and was prone to have full shutdowns when she got frustrated doing things like piano practice or homework. Mabel was triggered by her daughters emotions and was either yelling or taking space to avoid them as much as possible. Mabel is now showing up as a secure mom and her daughter is surprising her with very secure communication.Mabel was able to create secure attachment quickly so I wanted to make sure to have her on the podcast to share her secrets to success. Tune in to hear her how she was able to hey past her avoidance quickly and what she would say to someone who is scared to take the next step towards secure attachment. Her stories are funny and so human. Listen in to get inspired on your own healing journey. Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If there is one skill that transforms relationships from shaky to secure, it is validation. And yes, it is hard AF. In this episode, we’re diving into why this deceptively simple tool is the very first thing I teach couples and why it matters so much for creating secure attachment.Validation is tough because when your partner brings you something painful or messy, your body wants to react. Your brain starts telling old stories about not being good enough or being unlovable or being too much. But validation is not about agreeing with them or taking the blame. It is simply saying: I see you. I see this person I love having an emotional experience.When you learn this skill, everything shifts. Fights de-escalate. Arguments turn into discussions. Repair becomes possible. And your relationship starts to feel safer for both of you.Let’s make your connection more secure, one validating moment at a time.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Are you “chill,” “go with the flow,” or “totally fine with whatever”? Spoiler alert… that might actually be people-pleasing in disguise. And people-pleasing is basically lying about what you really want.In this episode, we dig into why going with the flow usually means “I’m too scared to say what I need,” how it creates resentment in relationships, and why your partner actually can’t support you if you never speak up.You’ll learn how to build a daily fulfillment routine so you start meeting your own needs, drop the pressure and expectations on your partner, and communicate honestly without the guilt spiral. We also talk about why owning your emotions is the secret ingredient to ending people-pleasing for good.If you’re ready to stop performing, stop mind-reading, and start showing up as the real you in your relationship, this episode is your permission slip.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Avoidants often need space because conflict never felt safe growing up. They want peace, so when tough conversations come up, they shut down and exit fast. If you are the one opening up, it can feel like abandonment. They take space without explaining it and often skip the repair.This pattern can change. It starts with owning your emotions, understanding your needs for space and autonomy, and upleveling your beliefs about yourself. From there you can use healthy communication to say you need space and still commit to coming back to repair.Join me for the Healthy Relationships Roadmap Call Week to start creating the healthy relationship you want - https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewformDiscover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If you catch yourself people-pleasing, this episode is for you.We’ll explore why you over-give, go with the flow, or downplay your needs, and how it’s quietly draining your energy and creating distance in your relationship. When you’re always focused on keeping the peace, you lose touch with what you actually want and need.In this episode, I’ll walk you through how to own your emotions so you’re not afraid of other people’s reactions, how to upgrade your beliefs about yourself and your worth, and how to build daily habits that meet your needs before burnout hits. You’ll also learn practical communication tools to express your needs clearly and set healthy boundaries.It’s time to drop the resentment, reclaim your energy, and start feeling seen, understood, and supported by your partner.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Ever had an argument spin out of control before you even knew what happened? In this episode, we’re talking about how to stop a fight dead in its tracks — with validation. Yep, the one thing that sounds simple but feels impossible when emotions are high. You’ll learn why validation isn’t about agreeing, being weak, or giving in, and how offering it can actually calm your nervous system and build real emotional safety in your relationship. If you’ve ever wished your partner could just talk to you without it turning into a blow-up, this one’s for you.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Ever catch yourself simmering in quiet resentment toward your partner? You’re not alone. In this week’s episode, we’re diving into what resentment really is (spoiler: it’s just anger with a side of overgiving). We’ll unpack why we do it, usually to prove we’re “enough”, and how it drains our time, energy, and connection. You’ll learn how to own your emotions, fill your own cup daily, and upgrade your beliefs so you can show up from a place of calm, not deficit. It’s time to drop the resentment and finally feel seen and heard in your relationship.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. If you avoid conflict like it’s the plague, this episode is for you. We’re talking about what it really means to be conflict avoidant, how defensiveness, minimizing, or deflecting can sneak in when you’re scared to show up honestly. This pattern is common for the dismissive avoidant type, especially if conflict or emotions didn’t feel safe growing up.You’ll learn why conflict sends you on an emotional rollercoaster, how shame and guilt fuel your defensiveness, and what to do instead. I’ll share how to own your emotions, regulate during tough conversations, and come from a place of self-worth so you can turn conflict into connection. When you know your emotions and can express them with confidence, your relationships get stronger, deeper, and more brag-worthy.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Ever wondered why your anxious self keeps falling for that avoidant hottie? Or why you suddenly lose interest once someone actually likes you back? In this week’s episode, I’m diving into all your juicy relationship questions. We’ll break down how to figure out your attachment style, what “earned secure” actually means, and how to stop taking every little thing your partner does (or doesn’t do) so personally.You’ll learn what to do when your partner gets triggered so you can stay grounded instead of spiraling, how to repair after a fight without shame or blame, and how to rebuild connection when you start feeling distant. By the end, you’ll have a whole new toolkit for staying calm, connected, and confident in love, no matter what your attachment style.So grab your headphones, a cup of tea (or a bottle of wine), and let’s get real about why we love the way we do.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Ever cracked a joke or shared something with your partner, only to suddenly find yourself in a full-blown fight? 😳 One second you’re laughing, the next it’s accusations, defensiveness, and tension. In this episode, I’ll share a real client example of how quickly things can go sideways what to do instead of trying to control your partner’s reaction. We’ll talk about why defensiveness shuts down connection, why feelings are always valid, and how to speak from a place of emotional honesty. By the end, you’ll have tools to handle tough conversations with confidence, whether it’s with your partner, future partner, or even your kids.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Perfectionism might look like striving for A+++ work, but in relationships it often leads to burnout, resentment, and never feeling enough. In this episode of Lit AF Relationships, I share how perfectionism shows up in love, why it keeps you stuck in people-pleasing, and the surprisingly freeing power of embracing B-minus work. Get ready to laugh, reflect, and learn how to let go of impossible standards so you can build the calm, connected, healthy relationship you actually want.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

What if the only thing standing between you and the life you want is your thoughts? In this episode of Lit AF Relationships, host and relationship coach Sarah Cohan breaks down how our beliefs shape our reality—and why we sometimes have to create new ones before we have any proof they’re true. From clients learning to trust themselves in dating, to shifting family dynamics, to Sarah’s own journey with fitness and food, you’ll hear how powerful it is to rewrite old stories and start “doing the impossible.” Tune in to learn how to change your beliefs so you can build supportive, authentic, and lasting relationships—and a more fulfilling life along the way.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Anger gets a bad rap—but it’s actually one of our most useful emotions. In this episode, I explore why anger shows up, what it’s really protecting us from, and how to uncover the softer feelings hiding underneath. From dishes with my husband to those everyday moments that leave us simmering, we’ll look at how to process the deeper emotions behind anger so it no longer feels scary, but instead becomes a guide to what we truly need.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Saying no can feel impossible when you’re wired with insecure attachment. We twist ourselves into pretzels to avoid it—racking up credit card debt, staying in relationships too long, or going out for “just one more drink” we didn’t even want. But here’s the truth: no isn’t rejection, no is clarity. In this episode, I’ll show you how to shift your relationship with no so you can reclaim your time, your energy, and actually help others make the best decisions too.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

This week I’m diving into a big theme that comes up for people with insecure attachment—taking responsibility for other people’s emotions. If your partner gets upset and you feel like you have to fix it, you’re not alone. But here’s the truth: they didn’t ask you to carry that weight. When we overextend, it leads to burnout, resentment, and even a loss of respect in the relationship.In this episode, I’ll share how to separate your emotions from your partner’s, build tolerance for their discomfort, and take radical ownership of your own thoughts and beliefs. Because the key to healthier relationships isn’t fixing others—it’s learning to stay grounded in yourself.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Our attachment styles form between ages 7 and 12, when our kid-brains saw the world in black and white: Dad’s not here? He must not love me. Mom didn’t like my crying? Better hide my feelings. Over time, those moments solidify into stories like I’m not enough or Something’s wrong with me, and we carry them into adult relationships, jobs, and opportunities. Suddenly, feedback feels like rejection, a delayed text means someone’s leaving, and every interaction is filtered through old fear. The shift happens when you identify and clean up those outdated beliefs—so you can show up in love, work, and life from a grounded, confident place instead of a childhood script.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Life, and love, is 50/50. Half joy and connection, half frustration and discomfort. But when perfectionism creeps into a relationship, we start judging the tough moments as signs something is wrong.In this episode, I share how my own perfectionist mindset showed up in marriage and why it doubled the work during conflict, repairing the fight and the fear it meant we were broken. You’ll learn how perfectionism often hides a craving for calm (especially for Dismissive Avoidant types) and how to create that peace without demanding perfection.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If you have an insecure attachment style, a simple “no” can feel like rejection—triggering worst-case-scenario thinking and sending your nervous system into overdrive. In this episode, we’ll reframe “no” as redirection, explore why it’s often the best thing for both parties, and talk about how to stop taking it personally. You’ll learn how to update your beliefs about boundaries, make space for uncomfortable feelings, and free yourself from people-pleasing overload.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Ever feel like you're putting way more into a friendship than you're getting back? Like you're always remembering their birthday, showing up for their milestones, and making time for deep hangs—while they barely text back or only want to hang in big groups?In this episode, we talk about what it feels like when friendships become unbalanced and how to stop taking it personally. I introduce the “friend shelf system”—a way to honor different types of friendships without expecting every friend to be everything. I share how I stopped making other people’s preferences mean something about me, and how you can start seeing those moments as neutral instead of personal.If you’ve been feeling drained by a friendship or questioning whether you matter to someone, this one’s for you.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If you’ve ever thought, “This one person MUST meet all my needs—right now, forever,” this episode is for you.Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Avoidant folks often grow up with inconsistent caregivers and learn to hyper-focus on one partner to feel safe, chosen, or complete. But the truth is: no one person can be your emotional Amazon Prime—delivering all your needs on demand.I’ll walk you through how to break the fixation, identify what needs you’re really trying to meet, and start diversifying your sources of fulfillment (hello, adventure, security, and connection—from multiple places!).Let’s make space in your relationships for freedom, not pressure.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Ever gone full detective on your partner in the name of “just being curious”? Yeah… me too. 😬 In this episode, I’m talking about weaponized curiosity—how our innocent questions can turn into subtle tools of shame, blame, and control (especially when trust has been broken). I’ll share a raw moment from my own relationship, how my therapist called me out (ouch), and why feeling chosen is a universal need, not a burden. Plus, how this tough lesson led me to attachment theory—and ultimately, healing. If you’ve ever chased clarity hoping for comfort, only to feel worse… this one’s for you.Ready to stop the blame game and start feeling truly supported? Book your free Healthy Relationships Roadmap call today: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewformDiscover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships roadmap call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Guilt and shame: the uninvited passengers secretly driving the bus. In today’s episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on how these emotions silently shape our actions—especially if you’re someone with insecure attachment. From overgiving and people-pleasing to taking responsibility for other people’s feelings, we unpack where guilt and shame come from, why they’re so sticky, and how to gently start loosening their grip. You’ll walk away with practical ways to poke holes in the guilt-shame narrative so you can show up more fully as yourself.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Ever catch yourself trying to protect someone from their own emotions—like disappointment, anger, or sadness? You’re not alone. In this episode, we explore the sneaky ways many of us—especially those with fearful avoidant attachment—take on emotional responsibility that was never ours to begin with.We break down how childhood conditioning taught us to manage other people’s feelings as a form of survival, and why that habit lingers long into adulthood. Whether you're people-pleasing, over-giving, or avoiding conflict altogether, these patterns might feel like kindness, but they come at a cost: your own emotional well-being and the other person’s ability to take ownership of their experience.You’ll learn why trying to “protect” others from hard emotions often leads to resentment, and how choosing short-term discomfort can actually build stronger, more honest relationships.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

This week, I’m joined by my former client David to talk about his transformation from emotionally shutdown and YouTube-binging to expressive, boundary-setting, and boxing-loving. We get real about what it’s like to live with a dismissive avoidant attachment style, how it affected his friendships and relationships, and how he slowly built a more secure sense of self—one tiny step (and one tucked-in shirt) at a time. You’ll laugh, maybe cry, and definitely relate if you’ve ever felt like the “quiet, weird one” at the party. David’s actually charming AF.Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform