PODCAST · comedy
Monster Crush
by Monster Crush
Dating can be hard - especially when your date is the legendary Bigfoot! Where do you take a guy like that? More importantly, where do you find a guy like that? You're in luck because our crypto-woo-ologists have a binder full of suitable candidates ready for one hell of a good time. Whether or not our bait survives is up to them. Who says love isn't without a few risks?See all of Monster Crush's links on https://linktr.ee/monstercrush We are a member of the Sword & Key Network, see all of S&K's links on beacons.ai/swordandkey
Episodes
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Date 131 - Jack o' My Lantern Til I Squash
The Halloween season is finally here (even though it lives in our hearts year round)! This is a special time of the year for Monster Crush so we wanted to recognize some monsters that truly embody the symbology of the season… Pumpkins! So carve out an hour for us as we learn to love the gourd and...
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Date 130 - Do it for the Devilment
This episode of Monster Crush comes from a very special livestreamed version of the podcast that we did on our parent network Sword & Key! You can watch a recording of this stream on youtube.com/@swordandkey For this episode we bring you the epitome of a “weird little guy” with Gef the Talking...
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Date 129 - Dance Like No One is Squatching
It’s Shadow’s first episode as an official Monster Crush co-host/co-cryptowoologist! To ease her into things, we decided to bring a couple cryptids that might sound kinda familiar but are totally unique and weird in their own special ways. So strap on and strap in for the Octosquatch and the...
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Date 128 - Taur de Force
We know you listeners are horny and hot to trot so we finally delivered on our promise to bring you two monsters to perfectly match that energy. Join us to explore the girthy mythology of the galloping Centaur and the labyrinthian Minotaur! But wait… if “taur” means bull why are they called...
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Date 127 - The Dogman Days of Summer
The Dog Days of Summer mark the hottest days of the year but we’re going to make things even HOTTER with the DOGMAN Days of Summer here on Monster Crush! This time we bring you two Great Lakes good boys with the prowling Minnesota Dogman and denim-wearing Defiance Dogman. Be proud of us because…
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Date 126 - Triceratops and Bottoms
Hold on to your butts because we have two monsters of prehistoric proportions for this episode! Dinosaur cryptids can be found in lots of places but these two tend to break the mold in more than a few ways. So listen as love finds a way with the Partridge Creek Monster of the great white north…
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Date 125 - Critter? I Hardly Know Her
Just because the country is burning down around us doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate some all-American monsters. And it doesn’t get more American than the lumberjack folkloric traditions of FEARSOME CRITTERS! So grab a hot dog and get ready to salute these weird monsters of American folklore - the...
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Date 124 - Come to Papa
Happy Monster Daddy’s Day! While monster dads are far less common than monster moms but we were able to find two frightful flirting fathers all the same. Plus we have A LOT of Spooky News today! So strap in and strap on for the Caribbean nature spirit, Papa Bois, and the Father of All Turtles…
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Date 123 - Objectify Me
It’s part TWO of our cursed experience with co-host Shadow! Again, the curse was that one episode went too long and ended up as two episodes, so kind of a fun curse in the end. But this episode we finally get to the three cursed objects mentioned in our last episode! So strap in and strap on for...
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Date 122 - Haunted Doll Botch (with special guest Shadow!)
Monster Crush has been CURSED! But mostly the curse is that we played a game for too long, had too much fun, and had to turn one episode into two… So I think we’ll survive! What was planned to be an episode about cursed objects turned into a not-so-mini-game about Haunted Dolls on Ebay. Things…
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Date 121 - Mummy’s Day
We at Monster Crush have to apologize, we took a little break and were a little out of practice. So, while we wanted to celebrate Mothers’ Day and all the wonderful monster mommies out there, we weren’t paying attention to our spelling and… Well, we’re celebrating Mummy’s Day and all the monster...
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Date 120 - In the March of Madness 2026, The GOO Conference (Pt.2)
IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS 2026 CONTINUES! Sixteen entities from Lovecraftian Horror fight tooth and tentacle for your affections. Who will win the finals… and our hearts?For this episode we finish the GOO (Great Old Ones) Conference featuring: Shterot, Atlach-Nacha, Rhogog, Byatis, Hziulquoigmnzha,...
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Date 119 - In the March of Madness 2026, The BOG Conference (Pt.1)
IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS IS BACK! It’s our third year playing this bracket-style game of love. Sixteen entities from Lovecraftian Horror fight tooth and tentacle for your affections. Who will win the finals… and our hearts? This week we take on the BOG (Beings and Outer Gods) Conference featuring:...
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Date 118 - Eat Your Heart Out… Again
Happy Valentines Day… or close enough to it. For us at Monster Crush, it’s always the perfect day to celebrate love in all of its weirdly beautiful forms. But, for this amorous time of year we bring you two monsters you can really give you heart to, because that’s what they eat! Prepare yourself...
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Date 117 - Facial Your (D&D) Demons Pt. 2
We hope you didn’t fill up on Demon Princes last time because for this episode we give you another heaping helping. Join us as we round out the last FIVE Demon Princes of Dungeons & Dragons’ Forgotten Realms with the hedonistic Graz’zt, slimy Juiblex, deceptive Fraz-Urb'luu, insufferable...
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Date 116 - Facial Your (D&D) Demons Pt. 1
For all the hype that Stranger Things has given to D&D, people now know what a Demogorgon is… or do they? For this date we get even Strangerer with some of the OG D&D Things, namely D&D Demon Princes so we can tell you what the Demogorgon really is! And this is only part 1! So get ready to plunge...
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Date 115 - A Pascagoula Elephantman Never Forgets
For the New Year we look back on singletons we met once but never really got a chance at love. So for this date we pull the Pascagoula Elephantmen out of the stables for a little space seduction and alien abduction. Strap in and strap on because these ETs are out of this world. Featuring: we have...
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Date 114 - Naughty or Nice Pt. 2
Happy Holidays from all of us at Monster Crush! To celebrate this festive season we return to the Yule traditions of ol for a couple monsters that are naughty, nice, and everything in between. So jingle your bells and wrap your present for the Mari Lwyd and Grýla the Christmas Witch. Plus a few...
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Date 113 - Naughty or Nice Pt. 1
For this holiday episode we have only one question for you… Naughty or Nice? Honestly, with monsters it really doesn’t matter which you pick because even the nice ones have a dark side. So wrap your present and stuff your stocking for the naughty Kallikantzaros and the nice Nisse! Featuring: Did…
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Date 112 - Tur-Key to My Heart
For many Americans Thanksgiving is a holiday focused on the iconic main dish, the turkey. But what about the country of Türkiye? Apparently it’s chock full of monsters we can smooch! So for this holiday, we gobble down on two Turkish monsters with the iconic Lake Van Monster and the nightmarish…
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Date 111 - One and Done
That’s a lot of ones all in one episode number… So let’s do three cryptids that were only seen once! These monsters were seen for a good time but not for a long time and only for one time. So enjoy The 50-Foot Congo Snake, The Bathysphaera intacta (or Giant Dragonfish), and The Giant Shrimp in…
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Date 110 - I’ll Make a Man Out of You
WE’RE BACK! Just in time for halloween we return to our teratophilic ways to explore romance with one of the most iconic monsters - FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER!!! So get ready for jokes to leave you in stitches, love that strikes like lightning, and a monster ready for LONG-TERM commitments because…...
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Date 109 - If You Like It, Put The One Ring On It (with special guest Shadow!)
In honor of the recent holiday, Hobbit Day, we’re talking Tolkien! Derek is joined once again by special guest Shadow (@shadowsilvia on socials) to delve too greedily and too deep into some Middle Earth monsters! So prepare to make an unexpected party with Smaug the Dragon, The Watcher in the...
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Date 108 - 28 Inches of Sturdiness (with special guest Shadow!)
Monster Crush is back after our Summer Break with all new chills and thrills. For this episode, Derek is joined by special guest Shadow (@shadowsilvia on socials) to discuss the noble Unicorn! And these horny horses have a wild history hiding behind all those sparkles and rainbows. Author Chris...
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Date 107 - Goosebump and Grind
Summer is a time for fun, sun, and (if you’re anything like us) reading! So for this summer break episode we went back to our childhoods to explore some of the wonderful monsters gifted to us by the one and only R.L. Stine in the Goosebumps series! So get ready for monsters from Calling All…
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Date 106 - Pretty Fly for a Yokai
On this date we fly back into the weird world of Yokai for a couple of avian singletons to nest with. So strap on and strap in for the Kogarasu and the Niwatori no sō! These two feathered friends are sure to peck their way into your hearts… perhaps literally. Featuring: Toilet ghosts and sentient...
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Date 105 - You Gotta Pay The Troll Toll
For our second Pride Month episode of 2025 we consider giving a second chance to some monsters who did not get our full attention on previous dates. So this time we explore the wilderness for the Scandinavian Troll! These mysterious monsters of magic and nature have haunted fables and myth far…
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Date 104 - Bone Daddy
Happy Pride, you beautiful Monster Crushers! To celebrate the queerest time of the year we wanted to present you all with a true gay icon. And, since we covered Mothman back in episode 69, we delved into pop culture for a figure who has represented the LGBTQ+ community for decades now. So strap…
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Date 103 - I Will Remember U(boat)
For this Memorial Day we bring you two monsters you just can’t forget about. War is weird and strange stuff happens during times of conflict, so this episode we discuss two giant sea monsters seen by German U-boats during WWI. So get ready to be blown…out of the water by the U-28 Creature and the...
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Date 102 - Monster Mommy
We at Monster Crush want to celebrate Mother’s Day in the only way we know how… by making it about smooching monsters. So if you have mommy energy (however you personally define that), we want to wish you a special day full of whatever monsters you love best. But for us, we had to feature a...
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Date 101 - Tree-t Yourself
Does love have you stumped? Always branching out but your date always leaves? Well we get to the root of the problem this week with our lumbering singletons! No more barking up the wrong tree with two loveable cryptobotanical selections to really shiver your timbers! It’s two green-thumbs up for...
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Date 100 - Loch’d & Loaded
EPISODE 100 IS HERE! I can’t believe we actually made it to 100 episodes! And speaking of things that are hard to believe, is there a monster lurking in the depths of Loch Ness? Yes… at least we want the answer to be yes because we LOVE NESSIE! So strap in and strap on for Derek’s first monster...
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Date 99 - Dinosaur Boning
99 EPISODES! We wanted to celebrate getting this far with something big, so we chose dinosaurs! This episode we bring you two classic dino cryptids with LD choosing to learn about the Kasai Rex! This theropod dinosaur supposedly hunts the waterways of the Congo, and not only does it eat large...
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Date 98 - IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS 2025 (GOO CONFERENCE)
We jump right back into the deep end with Part 2 of IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS! This episode we bring you the GOO Conference (Great Old Ones) with an all new list of eldritch horrors and hard-to-pronounce names. So get your brackets ready and strap in and strap on for Tsathoggua, Idh-Yaa, Y’Golonac,...
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Date 97 - IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS 2025 (BOG CONFERENCE)
It’s that time again! Continuing from last year we once again bring you IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS, our very own monster-smooching bracket of Lovecraftian and eldritch beings. So strap in and strap on for SIXTEEN SALTY beings of unknowable horror and tentacles as we complete a single-elimination...
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Date 96 - Eat Your Heart Out
Happy Valentine’s Day from all of us at Monster Crush! We celebrate Monster Love every single day but it feels especially important on this corporatized, pre-assigned day of affection. So this time we bring you a couple of monsters to make your heart skip a beat… as they rip it from your chest....
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Date 95 - 8 Legs of Justice
Monster Crush is back! After our holiday hiatus, we are energized and ready for even more monster smooches. And in this new year and month of love, we decide to give a second chance to some of our previously unchosen singletons. So strap in and strap on this week for a second chance for the J'ba...
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Date 94 - You've Been Very Naughty
Happy Holidays and, more importantly, Gruss Vom Krampus from all of us at Monster Crush! We finally did it! We released a holiday episode and finally got around to covering the Christmas Devil himself, the one and only KRAMPUS! And it’s no secret that this horny holiday hellion is a smash but you...
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Date 93 - Come Play With Us
We all love to play with toys but can you love a toy that plays with you? What about a toy that has intense, possibly malicious, paranormal energy attached to it? If you said yes, then do I have the date for you! This episode LD entertains two of the most notorious haunted dolls around with…
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Date 92 - Thankful for Monsters
It’s a special Thanksgiving episode for LD and Derek and they are thankful for so much. We are thankful to you, our wonderful audience (like all 7 of you), we are thankful for the opportunity to make a podcast as friends, and we are thankful for all of the smoochable monsters! So this episode, we...
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Date 91 - Pri-Mating Season
Given recent events, we here at Monster Crush have decided to stop all this monkey business. So join us as we go ape-shit for our singletons this week! Insert additional monkey pun here. So strap in and strap on for some cryptids who might involve reaching a loving hand back down the evolutionary...
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Date 90 - I Vant to Suck Your…
Episode 90 has arrived and just in time for Halloween! So join us as we dive a stake deep into the heart of one of the most iconic monsters of all time, a terror who has dug his fangs deep into the neck of pop culture, the vampire of all vampires - COUNT DRACULA! So strap in and strap on for an...
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Date 89 - Halloween Threesome
It’s SPOOKY MONTH and so Monster Crush continues it’s Halloween tradition of bringing you three monsters who represent some of the most iconic seasonal creatures. This year, in our Halloween Threesome, we bring you a ghost, a vampire, and a werewolf: The Kyōkotsu, The Vampire Beast/Beast of...
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Date 88 - Sleep Tight
We said we would do it and, against all better judgment, we’re finally doing it.. It’s the SLEEP PARALYSIS EPISODE! So strap in and strap on for a journey into nightmares as LD braves her own subconscious for this week’s singletons. So, presented in this episode are LD’s very own sleep paralysis...
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Date 87 - So No Head?
It’s an age-old question: Head or No Head? Well despite your feelings on the matter, the singletons this week are fervently in the “No Head” category. But that doesn’t mean they are not worthy of love! So join us on this date with good ol’ boy cryptid, The Grafton Monster, and the ‘mythological’...
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Date 86 - Make Mine Marvel Monsters
Welcome TRUE BELIEVERS to this episode of Monster Crush. With all the news these days coming from Marvel Comics we thought we’d jump on that bandwagon and ride some superheroic coattails (cape-tails?). So this week enjoy some familiar Marvel names that were originally attributed to some less than...
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Date 85 - Smooch My Shiny Metal Ass
We are back with another Second Chance At Love for some of our monstrous singletons who didn’t make the cut in previous episodes! Winning out this week is the Alabama Metalman, an alien/cryptid/potential superhero who more or less ruined the life of a local police chief. Even cryptids are living...
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Date 84 - Would You Still Love Me If I Was A Wyrm (Pt. 1)
It’s the age old question we must ask all of our romantic partners.. Would you still love me if I was a Wyrm? That is to say a massive, writing beast that haunts the waterways and dark places of the world. To explore this question we bring you two particularly wyrmy (or wormy depending on your...
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Date 83 - Right Size For the Job
Does size matter? Is bigger always better? These are the tough questions we tackle here at Monster Crush. With that in mind we explore two ends of the size spectrum with the diminutive forest spirit of the Congo, The Eloko, and the sizable but probably-internet-bs mountain monster, the Bergkonge....
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Date 82 - Never Skip Flipper Day
People are seeing something in the warmer parts of the ocean. Unlike any other sea serpent, this singleton is segmented, lined with flippers, and will give you whatever head you want it to. It’s the Con Rit, a potentially creepy crawly cryptid that lurks in the waters of Vietnam and, if all of…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Dating can be hard - especially when your date is the legendary Bigfoot! Where do you take a guy like that? More importantly, where do you find a guy like that? You're in luck because our crypto-woo-ologists have a binder full of suitable candidates ready for one hell of a good time. Whether or not our bait survives is up to them. Who says love isn't without a few risks?See all of Monster Crush's links on https://linktr.ee/monstercrush We are a member of the Sword & Key Network, see all of S&K's links on beacons.ai/swordandkey
HOSTED BY
Monster Crush
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Monster Crush have?
Monster Crush currently has 124 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Monster Crush about?
Dating can be hard - especially when your date is the legendary Bigfoot! Where do you take a guy like that? More importantly, where do you find a guy like that? You're in luck because our crypto-woo-ologists have a binder full of suitable candidates ready for one hell of a good time. Whether or not...
How often does Monster Crush release new episodes?
Monster Crush publishes regularly with 124 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Monster Crush?
You can listen to Monster Crush on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Monster Crush?
Monster Crush is created and hosted by Monster Crush.
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