O3: The Black Girl Formula

In this episode of O₃: The Black Girl Formula, we’re stepping into a new era: Date Yourself, Sis. This is for the woman who is done decoding confusion, done romanticizing potential, and finally ready to choose herself—fully and without apology.   After a run-in on Hinge with a man who once claimed he “wasn’t ready” but is now “seeking monogamy,” Nel realizes something deeper: the lesson was never about him. It was about her graduation. Graduation from chasing clarity, from waiting to be chosen, from mistaking inconsistency for connection.   This episode unpacks what it means to move from external validation to internal devotion. Nel reflects on the shift from her 20s—where love felt like proving—to her 30s, where love feels like peace. Because self-love isn’t a caption, it’s consistency. It’s how you show up for yourself in the quiet, ordinary moments.   Grounded in the work of bell hooks, we explore the difference between surface-level self-care and integrity-based self-love—the kind that transforms your standards, your boundaries, and your entire frequency. This is about becoming the kind of woman who no longer looks for love, but recognizes when it matches her.   But we’re not staying in reflection—we’re moving into practice.   This episode introduces a powerful reset:   Observe how you show up when you’re alone Own the patterns that kept you settling Opt out of urgency, confusion, and chasing validation   Overthinking. Overfeeling. Overcoming.   Tap in—this one is about becoming the love you’ve been waiting for.   Follow @03theformula on Instagram   Curated by: Nel @litbadgyal   Producer: Kay @KaydaProducer   Original music by: Lil Sha @lillshaofficial

In this episode of O₃: The Black Girl Formula, we’re unpacking what it really means to exist as a Black neurodivergent woman in workplaces that were never built for our brains, our bodies, or our boundaries.   From masking and overperforming to navigating constant double and triple standards, Nel names the invisible labor of trying to be understood in spaces that benefit from your silence. This isn’t just about the job you were hired to do, it’s about the second job of surviving the environment.   Grounded in the words and legacy of Assata Shakur, we explore why freedom has never come from appealing to the people in power and what it looks like to instead practice liberation in real time. Nel breaks down “triple consciousness” and the tension of navigating race, gender, and neurodivergence all at once, while calling out the exhausting cycle of overexplaining, overdelivering, and shrinking to fit.   But we’re not staying stuck there.   This episode introduces a simple but powerful formula: Observe where you’re masking Own what makes you “too much” Opt out of seeking approval from systems that were never meant to affirm you   Overthinking. Overfeeling. Overcoming.   Tap in—this one is about releasing the performance and reclaiming yourself.   Follow @03theformula on Instagram Curated by: Nel @litbadgyal Producer: Kay @KaydaProducer Original music by: Lil Sha @lillshaofficial

In this episode of O₃: The Black Girl Formula, we’re unpacking what it really means for Black girls and Black boys to create safety with each other. Not just in romance, but in family, friendship, and the ways we work together too. From tenderness to trust, we’re naming what it looks like to soften and still be seen. We get into the healing that happens side by side, and Nel weaves in the brilliance of Nikki Giovanni and James Baldwin’s iconic conversation to ground the truth that safety isn’t a luxury—it’s the foundation. Overthinking. Overfeeling. Overcoming. Tap in—this one is about soft power and safe connections. Follow @03theformula on Instagram Curated by: Nel @litbadgyal Producer: Kay @KaydaProducer Original music by: Lil Sha @lillshaofficial

In this episode of O₃: The Black Girl Formula, we’re unpacking what it really means to be a girls’ girl down—for real, not for performance. From unlearning internalized misogyny to the subtle ways women are conditioned to compete, we’re naming the mess and making room for something softer, safer, and way more solid.   We get into the difference between friendship and proximity, the trap of centering men in our sisterhoods, and what it looks like to love your girls loud, free, and without side-eyes.   Overthinking. Overfeeling. Overcoming. Tap in—this one is a soft reset for your sisterhood.   Follow @03theformula on Instagram Curated by: Nel @litbadgyal Producer: Kay @KaydaProducer  Original music by: Lil Sha @lillshaofficial

In this episode of O₃: The Black Girl Formula, we’re unpacking what it really means to stand in your worth—not because they saw it, but because you said so. From quiet confidence to the projections people place on powerful women, we’re talking about what it takes to stay rooted in who you are… even when you’re doubted, dismissed, or underestimated.   We get into the difference between real confidence and performance, the emotional cost of shrinking, and the kind of self-trust that doesn’t ask for permission.   Overthinking. Overfeeling. Overcoming.   Tap in—this one is a soft reset for your power.   Follow @03theformula on Instagram Curated by: Nel @litbadgyal on Instagram Original music by: Lil Sha @lillshaofficial on Instagram

In this episode of O₃: The Black Girl Formula, we’re unpacking what it really means to stop abandoning yourself—especially when the test pulls up right after you choose you. From nervous system signals to the stories we tell to stay connected, we’re talking self-honesty, soft exits, and the grief of almosts. Overthinking. Overfeeling. Overcoming. Tap in—this one might help you finally let go. Follow @03theformula on Instagram Curated by: Nel @litbadgyal on Instagram Original music by: Lil Sha @lillshaofficial on Instagram

In this episode of O₃: The Black Girl Formula, we’re digging into that compulsion to reach out—when your brain won’t let it go, and your heart’s in overdrive. From overthinking to patterns that mirror everyday OCD behaviors, we explore why that “just one more text” urge hits so hard… and how to urge surf and take your power back. Overthinking. Overfeeling. Overcoming. Tap in—this one might save you a spiral. Follow @03theformula on Instagram Curated by: Nel @litbadgyal on instagram  Original music by: Lil Sha @lillshaofficial on Instagram