Satan is my Superhero

Poe: father of American horror, pioneer of the macabre, and — according to at least one theory — a man who caught rabies from drinking bat blood at a Satanic ritual before his final, chaotic hours in Baltimore. Unfortunately, the official data also suggests 66.6% of poets are child molesters, and Poe is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that statistic.This episode, Satan Is My Superhero shines its black light on one of gothic literature's most influential weirdos. We cover the Faustian bargains, the occult obsessions, the time Satan literally refused someone's soul because Hell was already well-stocked, and the genuinely unhinged theories about how Poe died. We also cover the cousin. We cover the cousin extensively.Tightly scripted. Fully produced. Deeply uncomfortable about poets as a category.Look, if you've made it this far, you already know you're one of us — the kind of person who started this episode thinking "interesting literary history" and ended it reconsidering the entire genre of poetry.Patreon supporters get two bonus episodes a month, early ad-free access, plus exclusive extras including music videos, audiobooks, and behind-the-scenes content that probably contains more facts about dead creeps than anyone needs.(Satan is contractually obligated to inform you that 66.6% of Patreon members are NOT child molesters, and the ones who aren't poets are definitely fine.)👉 Join Our Community on Patreon Here www.patreon.com/satanismysuperheroCONTINUE THE JOURNEY - If this episode has left you with complicated feelings about canonical Western literature, good news — we've been here before. John Milton gets the Satan Is My Superhero treatment in episode 5 on Paradise Lost — the one that started the whole "Satan as misunderstood icon" conversation in English literature. And unlike Poe, Milton (as far as we know) kept his hands to himself. Which makes him officially the best poet in the SIMS data set, which frankly isn't saying much.👉 Listen to PARADISE LOST | The Original Dark Lord Fanboy Here SAUCES- Primary sources, figures, and texts referenced in this episode:Le Duc de L'Omelette (1832) — Edgar Allan PoeBon Bon (1832) — Edgar Allan PoeSilence — A Fable (1838) — Edgar Allan PoeDevil in the Belfry (1839) — Edgar Allan PoeNever Bet the Devil Your Head (1841) — Edgar Allan PoeReverend George Bush, Professor of Hebrew and Oriental Literature, NYU (yes, that George Bush's ancestor; yes, we verified this)Further reading exists. It is extensive, peer-reviewed where possible, and organised in a system that made complete sense at 2am. A full bibliography is available on request, or you can just trust us — we're basically the Reverend George Bush of podcast research.GET IN TOUCH - Got a story about a dead Victorian pervert, a weird local legend, a theory about how your favourite author made a Faustian deal, or just a burning need to defend the honour of poets everywhere?📬 [email protected] mail welcome. Fan mail mandatory. If you are a poet, please disclose this upfront so we can route your email appropriately.Send us Fan MailSupport the showWelcome, Sinners!  We’re building a cult — the good kind. No robes, just laughs. Catch every blasphemous episode: Listen Here Wear your heresy: Merch Store Support the pod & unlock Hoots songs: Patreon Your reviews, shares, and smart-ass comments keep the cult alive. 

God rips a cone, an angel weaponises a bong, and somehow this ends with a conspiracy theory about Chernobyl. The Book of Revelation chapter 8 kicks off with thirty minutes of ominous silence in heaven, which is unusual because heaven normally sounds like a sensory nightmare designed by a committee of screaming worship addicts. Then someone hands YHWH a giant "incense burner", seven angels break out the trumpets, and the apocalypse starts deleting the planet one-third at a time. But then Revelations drops its weirdest twist yet: a poisoned star called Wormwood crashes into Earth's water supply.  Which becomes considerably weirder when conspiracy theorists notice that Chernobyl is linked to the very same plant and immediately start pointing at Revelation like Charlie from It's Always Sunny with a corkboard. Coincidence?Prophecy?Ancient apocalypse fan fiction accidentally scoring a lucky hit?Join Judas, Lexi, Satan, John of Patmos and a deeply disappointed saxophone angel as our verse-by-verse comedy autopsy of Revelation continues. Expect sketch comedy, original music, religious satire, skepticism, apocalypse nonsense, and yet another chapter proving that the final book of the Bible reads less like divine prophecy and more like a fever dream written after a very aggressive edible.🔥 The Third Trumpet Has Sounded. Are You on the Right Side of History?YHWH  just promised to only put a third in — and honestly, that energy describes free listeners too. So if you want the full experience, join our Patreon and get:2 bonus episodes per month — more chaos, fewer sealsEarly ad-free access — hear the trumpets before the civilians doExclusive extras — behind-the-scenes content, music videos, audiobooks, and bonus material that didn't survive the editorial apocalypseAs the show itself says: you can join for free if you prefer to just stick it in a little bit at first. It's, um, good. 👉 Join Our Community on Patreon HereGet in Touch:  Send your weird religious experiences, moral panic evidence, paranormal claims, apocalypse sightings, cult stories, and targeted hate mail to: [email protected]. What Now?Missed how we got to the seventh seal? Go back and hear how the chaos started with the four horsemen and the rapture in Episode 124. 👉 Listen to Book of Revelation (Part 7) | The Rapture HereSAUCESPrimary sources, texts, and figures referenced in this episode:The Book of Revelation — specifically Chapter 8, KJV (King James Version), attributed to John of Patmos, written approx. 95 CE on the island of PatmosJohn of Patmos — often confused with John the ApostleAbsinthos / Wormwood (Artemisia absinthium) — the bitter herb named in Revelation 8:11; also the base ingredient of absinthe, making this biblically the most metal drink at any barChernobyl etymology — the city of Chernobyl (Chornobyl in Ukrainian) takes its name from the Slavic word for Artemisia vulgaris, a local species of wormwood; the nuclear power plant disaster of April 26, 1986 contaminated groundwater across Ukraine and BelarusThis list represents a fraction of the research conducted for this episode. A complete bibliography exists and is enormous, chaotic, and annotated in three different handwriting styles, one of which may be a ghost. We know where it is. We're just not telling you.Send us Fan MailSupport the showWelcome, Sinners!  We’re building a cult — the good kind. No robes, just laughs. Catch every blasphemous episode: Listen Here Wear your heresy: Merch Store Support the pod & unlock Hoots songs: Patreon Your reviews, shares, and smart-ass comments keep the cult alive. 

Satanic NASA conspiracy theories launch headfirst into the absolute brain-rot of the internet to expose the "Satanic origins" of rocket science. If you want to understand how devil-worshipping explosives nerd Jack Parsons became the bizarre link between Aleister Crowley, Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, and the Apollo program... then this episode is your ultimate deep dive!So is NASA anti-Christian, or are conspiracy theorists just bad at spelling? This week, Judas and Lexi tackle the wild history behind the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) and the literal sex cults that fueled early American rocketry. We track Jack Parsons’ "Suicide Squad" testing rockets at Devil’s Gate on Halloween, uncover the truth behind L. Ron Hubbard running off with Parsons' money to buy yachts, and find out what really happens when two lonely occult nerds get together with some sacred tablets.But we don’t stop at the 1940s sex magic. We go deep into modern internet lunacy, exploring why Flat Earth weirdos think the NASA logo vector is actually a serpent's tongue, the "Apollo vs. Apollyon" demon panic from the Book of Revelation, and the truth behind Project Blue Beam's fake second coming. From a 1960s tracking network acronym literally spelling out "SATAN," to the hilarious math behind why trolls claim "NASA" is just "Satan minus the T," we prove that demonizing science has always been the ultimate coping mechanism for dummies.Support the ShowWe're missing more than just the 'T' here! Want to help us afford more letters so we can continue gloating about our secret devil-worshipping space agenda? Plus, unlock our epic, exclusive mini-bio on Jack Parsons' entire unhinged life! Sign up as a Patron today to keep the rocket fuel burning.  Join the Cult on Patreon HereWhat's Next?Missed our foundational episodes on occult history? Go back and map out the rest of the madness by diving straight into our deep dive on the wickedest man in the world.  Listen to Episode 126  on Aleister Crowley:  HereSend us Fan MailSupport the showWelcome, Sinners!  We’re building a cult — the good kind. No robes, just laughs. Catch every blasphemous episode: Listen Here Wear your heresy: Merch Store Support the pod & unlock Hoots songs: Patreon Your reviews, shares, and smart-ass comments keep the cult alive. 

They tried to make video games for Jesus… and accidentally invented demon-possessed animatronics instead. Turns out the road from Christian propaganda to FNaF horror mega-hit is shorter than expected.Before creating Five Nights at Freddy’s, Scott Cawthon spent years making christian movies and video games designed to glorify god. Critics said his characters were too creepy… so he leaned into it and launched one of the biggest horror franchises in gaming history.From there, things get weird.This episode explores the strange world of Christian video games, the moral panic around gaming, and the not-at-all hypocritical outrage over pixels, boobs, violence, and Satan.This week, we’re digging into: The FNaF origin story: how a scary animatronic beaver led to Freddy Fazbear  The Scott Cawthon controversy: politics, donations, and reputation detonation  The “holy” hustle: the rise and collapse of Left Behind Games and Digital Praise (including SEC fraud allegations)  Bizarre moral logic: why gaming violence is “silly” but a cartoon boob is a one-way ticket to hell  “Seducing children”: decoding Satanic panic rhetoric from Christian game CEOs  The Hollywood factor: what the Josh Hutcherson movie gets right about child murder Whether you're here for the FNaF lore or the spectacular failure of the Christian video game industry, this one’s for you.Got thoughts? Found a bizarre christian video game? Email us — we love this stuff.Join the Patreon to help us buy more holy water (or just better snacks): patreon.com/satanismysuperheroSend us Fan MailSupport the showWelcome, Sinners!  We’re building a cult — the good kind. No robes, just laughs. Catch every blasphemous episode: Listen Here Wear your heresy: Merch Store Support the pod & unlock Hoots songs: Patreon Your reviews, shares, and smart-ass comments keep the cult alive.