Seeing Other People
by Ilana Dunn
Dating advice, real stories, and honest conversations about modern relationships. Seeing Other People with Ilana Dunn covers everything from first dates and situationships to long-term love, with expert guests, anonymous confessions, and unfiltered takes three times a week. Whether you're swiping, healing, or somewhere in between...this is your show.
Episodes
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Getting Ready for Our Baby and Rethinking Relationship Advice
This week on Cohosts for Life, we're catching up on everything from getting the nursery ready for baby boy to celebrating an engagement and cheering on runners at the NYC Marathon. We also discuss the “make them” theory from Nobody Wants This and whether we really need another relationship theory...
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How to Turn Rejection, Heartbreak and Failure Into Your Superpower
What does it mean to stop being the “cool girl” and start putting yourself first? In this episode, Keltie Knight, three-time Emmy Award-winning TV personality, co-creator and host of The LadyGang, and New York Times bestselling author, joins us to talk about her new book, The Fuck Them Theory:...
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Is “If He Wanted To, He Would” Actually Good Dating Advice?
This week on Cohosts for Life, we're putting each other on the spot with questions about dating advice, relationship rules, and the things we don't always see eye to eye on. We debate whether “if he wanted to, he would” is actually true, whether it's better to date someone who's needy or...
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Your Younger Self Wants You to Hear This
What if the things you admire in other people are actually clues about the person you want to become? In this solo episode, I’m sharing a conversation that made me think about the people who leave an impact on us, what we can learn from them, and how easy it is to overlook how far we’ve already...
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Have We Become the Couple We Used to Make Fun Of?
We've had a LOT going on lately! This week, we're recapping our perfect babymoon, maternity photo shoot, baby shopping adventures, and the nursery furniture disaster that ended in tears. Then, we're diving into your dating and relationship questions about getting too comfortable with your…
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“I Was Diagnosed With Cancer Three Weeks After My Wedding”
A gentle heads-up: This episode touches on pregnancy loss and fertility struggles. We know these topics can be deeply personal and difficult, so please listen with care. A cancer diagnosis can change every part of your life, including your relationships. What happens when you're diagnosed with…
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The Marriage Conversations We Probably Should've Had Off Mic
This week, we're letting a random question generator take the wheel, and let's just say things get a little personal. We're talking about whether alone time is essential in a healthy relationship, who would survive longer if we switched lives for a week, and the little things we do that drive…
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How to Stop Overthinking and Feel More Grounded in Dating
What if the way we experience dating and relationships has less to do with the other person and more to do with the state we’re in when we experience them? Dr. Sue Morter joins Seeing Other People to talk about how our internal state, nervous system, and relationship with ourselves can shape the...
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Are We Posting Our Baby on Social Media?
This week on Cohosts for Life, we're getting into a conversation we've been having more and more as we get closer to becoming parents: will we be sharing our baby on social media? We're talking about where we stand, the boundaries we're considering, and why it's such a complicated decision. Plus,...
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Do I Actually Like Them… Or Do I Just Like That They Like Me?
Have you ever been so focused on whether someone likes you that you forgot to ask yourself if you even like them? In this solo episode, I’m breaking down how easy it is to confuse validation, attention, and the excitement of being chosen with actually liking someone. We’ll talk about why dating…
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How to Keep Dating Fun When You're in a Relationship
Cohosts for Life is officially moving to Tuesdays! This week, we're catching up on life lately, pregnancy struggles, nursery prep, and Ilana's trip to North Carolina before diving into your listener questions. We're talking about how to keep the excitement alive in a relationship once you've...
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Stop “Shoulding” Yourself: How to Stop Comparing and Start Trusting Yourself
Are you constantly thinking you should be married by now, should be over your ex, should know how you feel after a few dates, or should be further along in your life Dr. Lucette Beall joins me to break down what all of this “shoulding” actually does to our brains and how it can impact the choices...
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Are You Doing Too Much in Your Relationships?
Who keeps track of everything that needs to get done in your relationship? Ilana sits down with InvisiBILL – Anxiety Receipts founder Lisa Virginia Anderson to talk about mental load, invisible labor, and what happens when one person becomes the project manager of the relationship. They discuss…
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When You Know They’re Not Your Person But Can’t Let Go
Ilana and Jake are coming to you from a rainy weekend in the Hamptons with lots to catch up on: Ilana officially understands football, someone finally offered her a subway seat at six and a half months pregnant, she took her glucose test, and they toured their first daycare. Then, they get into...
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Rejection Doesn’t Mean You Weren’t Enough
Rejection can make you question everything about yourself. Was I too much? Not enough? Did I do something wrong? And why did they choose someone else instead of me? In this solo episode, I’m talking about why someone not choosing you doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough, how to stop looking to...
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Are You Dating for the Relationship You Actually Want?
Stefanos Sifandos, relationship coach, speaker, and author of Tuned In and Turned On, joins Seeing Other People to talk about what happens after you find the right person. We dive into why a relationship isn’t the finish line, how healthy relationships can bring unresolved patterns to the…
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Stop Wishing Away the Single Chapter of Your Life
This week, we’re talking daycare waitlists, baby registry decisions, why Ilana is becoming a baby product expert, and the realities of figuring out taxes when you’re self-employed. Then we answer your questions: Is the second date too soon to say you’re serious about having kids? How do you stop...
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When Your Parents Don’t Support Your Relationship Choices
An anonymous guest joins the podcast to talk about navigating a long-term relationship in a big city — from taking their first trip together just two months into dating, to moving in together before getting engaged, to ultimately buying a home together. We talk about the pressure of the...
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Getting Unstuck: How to Rewrite the Story You Tell Yourself
Jane Garnett, former Hollywood producer turned psychotherapist and author of This Time With Feeling, joins the podcast to talk about how to get unstuck — from old emotional patterns, the stories we tell ourselves, and the idea that our lives are supposed to look a certain way. We talk about why...
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How We’d Date If We Had to Start Over & Dating Your Ex’s Friend
Ilana and Jake catch up on baby prep, their first stroller arrival, Ilana’s newfound obsession with baby clothes, Jake’s thoughts on being married to a content creator, and why apparently having a twin bed until age 26 builds character. Then, they get into your listener questions. If they were...
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You Can Miss Someone and Still Know You Shouldn’t Be Together
Missing someone after a breakup can make you question everything. Did you make a mistake? Does still loving them mean you should try again? And if nobody else compares, does that mean they were actually your person? In this solo episode, I’m talking about why missing someone doesn’t mean you…
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Finding Love, Getting Married, and Figuring Out What Comes Next
Erica Shea is back on Seeing Other People, and this time she’s married. After years of dating, heartbreak, situationships, and wondering if she was ever going to find her person, Erica is now on the other side of the story—and realizing that finding your person is only the beginning. We talk…
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Preparing for Baby, Eating Our Way Through NYC & Football Season
This week, we’re catching up on life lately. We talk baby registry overwhelm, the stroller we think we’re getting, football season, the best things we ate this week, and how different our lives will look this time next year. Plus, Ilana’s newest obsession, getting ahead before maternity leave…
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Everyone Around Me Is Getting Married or Having Kids and I'm Still on The Apps
Harry is back for his fourth appearance on Seeing Other People, and this time he's on camera for the first time. He just turned 35, his younger brother got engaged, and the feeling that everyone around you is hitting milestones while you're still out here going on first dates? We get into all of...
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The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You
Najwa Zebian, author of The One Who Broke You Can’t Heal You, joins the podcast for a conversation about heartbreak, healing, and what it really means to move on when someone has hurt you. We talk about why the person who broke you can’t be the one to heal you, why closure is a myth, and how...
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Exes Coming Back, Bad Dating Patterns & “I’m Not Ready for a Relationship”
Jake spent the weekend hosting a fantasy football draft while Barkley lived his best boys day and paid for it later, and Ilana went to her first pregnancy brand event and is currently dealing with back pain that she describes as someone stabbing her. Also: Ilana read two books in a week…
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Different Timelines, Rejection Texts & The Most Unhinged Relationship Advice
What do you do when you and your partner have different ideal timelines 3 years into your relationship? How to be less anxious after a great date? I’m answering your questions about relationship timelines, rejection texts, dating anxiety vs. chemistry, and surviving the first trimester. Plus, I’m...
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The Love of Your Life Would Want to Date You
Serena Kerrigan, founder of Let’s Fucking Date and author of Let’s Fcking Date*, joins the podcast for a long-overdue reunion — five years after she was one of the first guests on Seeing Other People. We talk about why modern dating needs a new rulebook, how to stop dating from a place of…
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What Maternity Leave Looks Like When You’re Self-Employed
We’re back with a LOT to catch up on after another Jonas Brothers concert. We’re sharing what went down at MSG, why our entire section was rooting for us, and how we felt when it didn’t happen. Then, I’m sharing a big update about the future of Seeing Other People, what “maternity leave” looks…
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Why Having a Timeline for Love Can Keep You From Finding It
Isabelle Surielow, PhD candidate, matchmaker, and relationship consultant, joins the podcast to unpack what it really means to find love — and why sometimes the search for a relationship is actually a search for ourselves. We talk about dating with intention, why knowing what you want matters…
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The Part of Relationships Nobody Teaches You Until You’re Already in One
Mika Ross, therapist and relationship coach, joins the podcast to talk about the parts of relationships nobody teaches you until you’re already in one. We talk about what it actually takes to build a healthy relationship beyond chemistry and compatibility, why communication is so much more...
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Are the Jonas Brothers Doing Our Gender Reveal?!
It’s Ilana’s birthday weekend, the Jets are (almost) back, and somehow the Jonas Brothers might be helping us reveal our baby’s gender?! We’re talking about how our very unserious idea turned into a viral campaign that actually got Joe and Kevin Jonas’ attention, plus birthday plans, the weird...
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Why Healthy Dating Feels Like the World's Most Boring Roller Coaster
This week I'm answering seven listener questions, and somehow they all circle back to the same underlying thing: learning which feelings you can actually trust. I get into why not missing someone might mean secure instead of anxious, why every breakup doesn't mean you failed, and what it means…
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What Happens When You Get Everything You Thought You Wanted and Still Feel Unfulfilled?
Kelly Ehlers, award-winning founder, writer, speaker, podcast host, and author of Nice Girls Win, joins the podcast to unpack the invisible rules so many women live by — and what it looks like to choose yourself without blowing up your life. We talk about why being “nice” doesn’t have to mean…
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How Many Drinks on a First Date Is Too Many?
Ilana's recording sick, the Syracuse course is officially over and she's not ready to talk about how much she'll miss it, and she saw Hilary Duff sell out MSG and has a lot of feelings. Two listener questions this week: how many drinks on a first date is too many (she ordered a third before he...
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What Choosing Yourself Actually Looks Like
Amanda Katz joins the podcast to share the story of ending a long-term relationship after realizing her partner never fully grasped that she truly did not want children. We talk about the difference between "maybe someday" and knowing something about yourself since you were eleven years old, why...
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Why You Keep Dating the Same Person in Different Fonts
Jordanne Sculler, licensed mental health counselor and relationship therapist, joins the podcast to unpack why so many of us keep repeating the same dating patterns—even when we know they're not working. We talk about the psychology behind unhealthy relationship cycles, why your "type" may…
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Stop FaceTiming Someone You Haven't Even Met Yet
This week, a 4am pregnancy craving for a discontinued pasta dish spirals into one of the wildest nights of our lives, ending in a comped multi-course meal at Moriah, NYC's #1 Italian seafood restaurant, care of the original chef himself (Chrissy Teigen even weighed in). We check back in on...
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Stop Asking Your Friends These Dating Questions (Ask Yourself These Instead) | Part 2
After the response to Part 1, we had to do a Part 2. In this solo episode, I'm diving into even more questions that can help you make better dating decisions before you turn to your group chat. I talk about breaking unhealthy patterns, separating your worth from rejection, the difference between...
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Finding Love After Hitting Rock Bottom
Courtney Kocak joins the podcast to share the unbelievable story behind her memoir Girl Gone Wild and the many rock bottoms that ultimately changed her life. We talk about surviving toxic relationships, chasing impossible dreams in Hollywood, the lessons she learned from heartbreak, why she kept...
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Am I Pregnant or Are We Pregnant? Jake and I Cannot Agree
Are we pregnant or am I pregnant? Jake says we. Ilana says she's the one with a baby in her belly. We also have to tell you about the TikTok that went viral, because Ilana posted a green screen video about her biggest pregnancy craving, a shrimp scampi from a restaurant that closed years ago, and...
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Cancelling My Wedding Was the Best Decision I Ever Made
Corinne joins the podcast to share the story of calling off her engagement just four months before her wedding after eight years with the person she thought she'd marry. We talk about the pressure of leaving when your lives are completely intertwined, why wedding planning doesn't fix relationship...
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How to Stop Mistaking Anxiety for Chemistry
Dr. Darcy Sterling, licensed therapist, relationship expert, and host of We Need To Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling, joins the podcast to unpack why so many people confuse anxiety with chemistry—and how our relationship patterns often keep us stuck dating the same types of people over and over…
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I Never Felt Ready to Have a Baby (And That's Okay)
Jake turns 33, we recap his birthday week, and Professor Ilana is two classes in and already never wants it to end. We get into everything we didn't have time for last week: the creative ways we told our friends we were pregnant, what the first trimester is actually like, and the part nobody…
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Why Modern Dating Isn't Working for You
Olivia Atwood, Director of Matchmaking at Lox Club, joins the podcast to share how a joke matchmaking project during COVID turned into a career helping people find love—and what happened when she unexpectedly had to start dating again after the end of her own six-year relationship. We talk about...
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Are Women's Standards Too High?
Dr. Shamara Howard joins the podcast for an eye-opening conversation about how dating is changing—and why that's not necessarily a bad thing. We dive into why more women are choosing to stay single rather than settle, how to tell the difference between healthy standards and unrealistic...
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We're Having a Baby! And We're Finally Telling You Everything
We're pregnant, we're 15 weeks along, and we've been dying to tell you. This episode is everything: a clip from when we first found out, what the first trimester was actually like (the smell sensitivity, the endless weeks of feeling ill beyond belief, the food aversions, having to leave Carbone...
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Stop Asking Your Friends These Dating Questions (Ask Yourself These Instead)
After answering more than 10,000 dating questions over the years, I've realized something: most people don't actually need more advice. They need better questions. In this solo episode, I'm sharing the questions I wish everyone would ask themselves before asking their friends what to do. We talk...
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Stop Chasing Uncertainty in Dating
Linnea Sage joins the podcast to share how losing her voice acting career to AI unexpectedly led her to create The Jewish Dating Game, a live dating show helping singles connect beyond the apps. We talk about why modern dating feels so transactional, how first dates become interviews instead of...
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Professor Ilana Era, Barkley Faked a Broken Leg + Q&A
Barkley had us in a full panic leading us to the vet ER and then immediately ran laps around the facility like nothing happened. Ilana's Professor era officially begins this week, and we weigh in on the Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce MSG wedding because of course we do. Plus, listener questions:...
About this show
Dating advice, real stories, and honest conversations about modern relationships. Seeing Other People with Ilana Dunn covers everything from first dates and situationships to long-term love, with expert guests, anonymous confessions, and unfiltered takes three times a week.
Whether you're swiping, healing, or somewhere in between...this is your show.
Hosted by
Ilana Dunn