Seeing Other People

Jane Garnett, former Hollywood producer turned psychotherapist and author of This Time With Feeling, joins the podcast to talk about how to get unstuck — from old emotional patterns, the stories we tell ourselves, and the idea that our lives are supposed to look a certain way. We talk about why understanding our patterns doesn’t always stop us from repeating them, how disappointment can become a gateway to the next chapter, and why getting back in touch with our bodies, intuition, and curiosity can help us move forward.Plus, Jane shares how to rewrite the stories we’ve created about ourselves, stop waiting for life to begin, become the protagonist of our own stories, and why sometimes we need to explore rather than nix when it comes to relationships.Get Jane’s memoir, This Time With Feeling: This Time With Feeling Website: janegarnett.com Instagram: @thebananajaneSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ilana and Jake catch up on baby prep, their first stroller arrival, Ilana’s newfound obsession with baby clothes, Jake’s thoughts on being married to a content creator, and why apparently having a twin bed until age 26 builds character. Then, they get into your listener questions. If they were single today, how would they actually go about finding their person? They talk dating apps, singles events, meeting people organically, getting set up by friends, and why going out with the sole mission of meeting someone might actually make dating harder. Plus, they weigh in on a messy Hinge situation: is your ex’s friend fair game?Shop Joolz strollers at www.joolz.com and check out our Joolz Aer² lightweight stroller!All links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEStock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeopleGet $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Missing someone after a breakup can make you question everything. Did you make a mistake? Does still loving them mean you should try again? And if nobody else compares, does that mean they were actually your person? In this solo episode, I’m talking about why missing someone doesn’t mean you should be together, how nostalgia can make us forget why things ended, and how to tell the difference between genuinely wanting someone back and simply missing what you had. Plus, I’m answering your questions about exes, second chances, and moving on when you still care.Mentioned in this episode:Juice Glasses with Lid & Glasses without lidAll links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Erica Shea is back on Seeing Other People, and this time she’s married. After years of dating, heartbreak, situationships, and wondering if she was ever going to find her person, Erica is now on the other side of the story—and realizing that finding your person is only the beginning. We talk about what it feels like to finally have the life you spent so much time hoping for, why she wishes she could tell her younger self that she wasn’t as behind as she felt, and how all those moments that felt like setbacks eventually led somewhere she never could have planned. We also get into getting fired and finding the happiest place she’s ever been in her career, moving to Denver, trusting the next chapter even when it’s scary, and what marriage actually looks like once the wedding is over. Erica opens up about navigating two families, holidays, the pressure around having kids, and the ways our brains—and social media—can convince us that everything is going wrong. Plus, we revisit the dating advice that helped her find her husband: sometimes you really should go on one more date. Follow Erica Shea: @ericasheaaa on InstagramAll links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, we’re catching up on life lately. We talk baby registry overwhelm, the stroller we think we’re getting, football season, the best things we ate this week, and how different our lives will look this time next year. Plus, Ilana’s newest obsession, getting ahead before maternity leave, and what we’ve been watching and reading.Chapters:00:00 UPPAbaby vs. Bugaboo02:40 Life lately04:30 Gratitudes07:00 Ilana learns the Jets12:00 Our week of eating around NYC17:00 Torrisi and Jake’s dress code scare22:00 Ilana’s newest obsession25:30 Baby registry overwhelm28:30 Thinking about life with a baby30:00 Pregnancy, work, and slowing down35:00 Preparing for maternity leave37:00 What we’re watching and readingAll links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Harry is back for his fourth appearance on Seeing Other People, and this time he's on camera for the first time. He just turned 35, his younger brother got engaged, and the feeling that everyone around you is hitting milestones while you're still out here going on first dates? We get into all of it. How do you make peace with being on a completely different timeline than your friends, your siblings, even your parents? How do you keep showing up when things keep falling apart, and why stopping is never really the answer? Harry also took a stand-up comedy class and based his entire set on his dating life, which taught him how to look at his experience through a different lens.All links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Najwa Zebian, author of The One Who Broke You Can’t Heal You, joins the podcast for a conversation about heartbreak, healing, and what it really means to move on when someone has hurt you. We talk about why the person who broke you can’t be the one to heal you, why closure is a myth, and how waiting for an apology, an explanation, or someone’s regret can keep you stuck. Najwa shares what it looks like to take your healing back, stop making excuses for people who hurt you, and rebuild a version of yourself that knows what you deserve.We also get into trauma bonds, why people stay in toxic relationships, how gaslighting can make you question your own judgment, and how to support someone who knows they should leave but isn’t ready yet. Plus, Najwa shares the dating advice that changed the way she looks at relationships: date someone who is kind by nature — not someone you have to convince to treat you well.Get The One Who Broke You Can’t Heal You wherever you buy books, or listen to the audiobook narrated by Najwa herself.Follow Najwa:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/najwazebianWebsite: https://najwazebian.com/All links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeopleGet $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jake spent the weekend hosting a fantasy football draft while Barkley lived his best boys day and paid for it later, and Ilana went to her first pregnancy brand event and is currently dealing with back pain that she describes as someone stabbing her. Also: Ilana read two books in a week, including Hayden Panettiere's memoir and Michelle Obama's Becoming, and somehow still can't remember Garrett Wilson's name. Three listener questions this week: should you hear out an ex who went eight months no contact before reaching out, can you actually change your type if it keeps not working out for you, and four great dates followed by "I'm not ready for a relationship" followed by him being in one two weeks later. How do you not take that personally?All links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more)Get FREE full sized Mascara on your first purchase at Jonesroadbeauty.com with code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What do you do when you and your partner have different ideal timelines 3 years into your relationship? How to be less anxious after a great date? I’m answering your questions about relationship timelines, rejection texts, dating anxiety vs. chemistry, and surviving the first trimester. Plus, I’m reacting to the most unhinged marriage advice you’ve ever received and sharing why I’m seriously missing marathon training right now.All links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Serena Kerrigan, founder of Let’s Fucking Date and author of Let’s Fcking Date*, joins the podcast for a long-overdue reunion — five years after she was one of the first guests on Seeing Other People. We talk about why modern dating needs a new rulebook, how to stop dating from a place of scarcity, why rejection doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, and what it looks like to actually trust yourself and move on when someone isn’t giving you what you want. Plus, Serena shares what she’s learned about repeating dating patterns, raising your standards without becoming too picky, being open-minded about who your person might be, and why the right person won’t be scared off by you saying you want something serious. We also get into healthy relationships, maintaining independence, handling conflict, social media comparison, feeling like you’re running out of time, and knowing when choosing yourself means walking away. Get Serena’s book: Let’s Fcking Date* — letsfuckingdate.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We’re back with a LOT to catch up on after another Jonas Brothers concert. We’re sharing what went down at MSG, why our entire section was rooting for us, and how we felt when it didn’t happen. Then, I’m sharing a big update about the future of Seeing Other People, what “maternity leave” looks like when you work for yourself, and what changes you can expect to see in the SOP world. Plus, I’m officially showing, back pain has entered the chat, and I have some feelings about people touching my belly. Then we’re answering your questions about dealing with wedding planning decision fatigue and how to stop spiraling between dates when the next one isn’t on the calendar.All links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free shipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Isabelle Surielow, PhD candidate, matchmaker, and relationship consultant, joins the podcast to unpack what it really means to find love — and why sometimes the search for a relationship is actually a search for ourselves. We talk about dating with intention, why knowing what you want matters, the difference between standards and preferences, and how focusing on how you want to feel in a relationship can completely change the way you approach dating. We also get into the idea of “spark” vs. stability, what we can learn from relationships that don’t work out, why you shouldn’t sacrifice your peace for the wrong relationship, the pressure to meet marriage and relationship timelines, and whether there really is such a thing as a soulmate. Plus, Isabelle shares some seriously rom-com-worthy stories about meeting people through synchronicity, why you can’t force love, and how staying open to the unexpected might be the best dating strategy of all. Find Isabelle: @izzysurielowALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mika Ross, therapist and relationship coach, joins the podcast to talk about the parts of relationships nobody teaches you until you’re already in one. We talk about what it actually takes to build a healthy relationship beyond chemistry and compatibility, why communication is so much more complicated than “just talk about it,” and how to navigate conflict without letting resentment build.Mika also shares practical advice for handling big feelings, setting boundaries, maintaining your individuality while being part of a partnership, and communicating when you and your partner seem to speak completely different emotional languages. Plus, we get into the realities of long-term relationships, how relationships evolve as life changes, why healthy relationships can still be messy and imperfect, and the skills we all have to learn while we’re in the relationship. Find Mika on Instagram: @mikaross.therapist and explore her relationship resources at mikaross.comALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It’s Ilana’s birthday weekend, the Jets are (almost) back, and somehow the Jonas Brothers might be helping us reveal our baby’s gender?! We’re talking about how our very unserious idea turned into a viral campaign that actually got Joe and Kevin Jonas’ attention, plus birthday plans, the weird guilt of posting on social media when you haven’t texted people back, and a conversation about choosing to have kids, choosing not to have kids, and whether enough people actually stop to think about what they want. We also revisit Camp Rock with some very important questions about Connect 3, debate whether Spider-Man could realistically get around NYC, and start Ilana’s very necessary Jets reeducation.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week I'm answering seven listener questions, and somehow they all circle back to the same underlying thing: learning which feelings you can actually trust. I get into why not missing someone might mean secure instead of anxious, why every breakup doesn't mean you failed, and what it means when someone checks every box but still makes you feel unseen. I also cover the line between healthy compromise and quietly disappearing into someone else's life, why a friend's milestone can spiral into questioning your whole life, and whether becoming emotionally healthy just makes dating boring. Send in your own questions any time using the link in the show notes and my Instagram bio.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Kelly Ehlers, award-winning founder, writer, speaker, podcast host, and author of Nice Girls Win, joins the podcast to unpack the invisible rules so many women live by — and what it looks like to choose yourself without blowing up your life. We talk about why being “nice” doesn’t have to mean being a people pleaser, how boundaries can actually make you a better nice girl, and why saying no doesn’t make you difficult, selfish, or cold. Plus, we get into how these invisible contracts show up in dating — from saying yes to things you don't want to do to tolerating inconsistent communication — and why communicating your boundaries is better than silently letting someone treat you however they want. Kelly also shares why rejection can feel so devastating when you haven't gotten clear on what you deserve, how small daily choices can build confidence, and why she believes everything you deserve is already on its way to you. Pre-order Nice Girls Win: Amazon pre-order Learn more: nicegirlswin.com Follow Kelly: @KellyEhlersALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ilana's recording sick, the Syracuse course is officially over and she's not ready to talk about how much she'll miss it, and she saw Hilary Duff sell out MSG and has a lot of feelings. Two listener questions this week: how many drinks on a first date is too many (she ordered a third before he finished his first, and he was expected to pay), and he said after one great date that he doesn't want to rush into anything long term — does that mean he's not looking for a relationship, or should she just ask?ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Amanda Katz joins the podcast to share the story of ending a long-term relationship after realizing her partner never fully grasped that she truly did not want children. We talk about the difference between "maybe someday" and knowing something about yourself since you were eleven years old, why having a child to save a relationship never actually saves it, and the quiet, undramatic weeks when she finally decided the choice was hers to make. Amanda opens up about financial independence as a form of freedom, why she educated herself early even before she had money, and how watching women stay trapped in relationships because "nothing is in their name" shaped her own priorities. Plus, we discuss the emotional toll of staying in a "gray zone" with someone you live with, why prenups are an act of love and not distrust, the lessons marathon training taught her about choosing herself under pressure, and why she considers choosing to remain childfree just as valid — and just as loaded with judgment — as choosing motherhood.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jordanne Sculler, licensed mental health counselor and relationship therapist, joins the podcast to unpack why so many of us keep repeating the same dating patterns—even when we know they're not working. We talk about the psychology behind unhealthy relationship cycles, why your "type" may actually be keeping you stuck, and how childhood experiences and old stories shape the way you approach love. Jordanne explains why dating with rigid checklists can limit real connection, how to stop people-pleasing on dates, and why learning to tolerate discomfort is essential for building healthier relationships. We also discuss ghosting, dating "rules," healing after heartbreak, and whether you really need to be fully healed before starting a new relationship. Plus, we answer listener questions about awkward first dates, overthinking, dating anxiety, and the powerful mindset shift from chasing butterflies to seeking emotional regulation instead.Follow Jordanne:Website: jordannescullerlmhc.comInstagram: @jordannescullerALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, a 4am pregnancy craving for a discontinued pasta dish spirals into one of the wildest nights of our lives, ending in a comped multi-course meal at Moriah, NYC's #1 Italian seafood restaurant, care of the original chef himself (Chrissy Teigen even weighed in). We check back in on Christmas Party guy, and the update isn't the one we were hoping for. A listener asks how engagement ring shopping actually works, from where to start looking to how long a guy typically waits once the ring is in hand, and how to stop comparing your relationship timeline to everyone else's. And we dig into a FaceTime-only situation: three weeks of daily calls with a guy she hasn't even met in person yet, and whether that's genuine chemistry or something else entirely. Send us your questions any time, the link's in our show notes and Instagram bio, and if you love the show, share it with a friend and leave us a five-star rating and review.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After the response to Part 1, we had to do a Part 2. In this solo episode, I'm diving into even more questions that can help you make better dating decisions before you turn to your group chat. I talk about breaking unhealthy patterns, separating your worth from rejection, the difference between closure and wanting a different ending, knowing whether your standards are actually standards or just preferences, building a life you love while you're single, recognizing when a relationship gives you energy versus drains it, and asking whether your needs are actually unreasonable, or simply unmet. My hope is that these questions help you trust yourself a little more and remind you that the best dating advice often starts by asking yourself the right question.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Courtney Kocak joins the podcast to share the unbelievable story behind her memoir Girl Gone Wild and the many rock bottoms that ultimately changed her life. We talk about surviving toxic relationships, chasing impossible dreams in Hollywood, the lessons she learned from heartbreak, why she kept repeating the same dating patterns, and the unexpected traffic ticket that completely changed her love life. Plus, we discuss letting go after breakups, finding confidence outside of relationships, healing your self-worth, and why the healthiest love often feels the easiest. ig & websiteALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Are we pregnant or am I pregnant? Jake says we. Ilana says she's the one with a baby in her belly. We also have to tell you about the TikTok that went viral, because Ilana posted a green screen video about her biggest pregnancy craving, a shrimp scampi from a restaurant that closed years ago, and the original chef DMed her and invited us to his Michelin star restaurant to make it off menu. Three listener questions this week: how to handle a boyfriend whose friend group uses drugs at every hangout, how to get closer to your guy friends' girlfriends without coming across as flirting, and how to support a close friend going through a breakup in her mid-30s when she really wanted this relationship to work.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Corinne joins the podcast to share the story of calling off her engagement just four months before her wedding after eight years with the person she thought she'd marry. We talk about the pressure of leaving when your lives are completely intertwined, why wedding planning doesn't fix relationship problems, recognizing the difference between a hard relationship and the wrong relationship, and the terrifying moment she finally walked away. Corinne opens up about rebuilding her life from scratch, navigating mutual friends, grieving the future she thought she'd have, dating again after heartbreak, and finding a relationship that showed her love doesn't have to feel so difficult. Plus, we discuss codependency, premarital counseling, accepting people for who they are instead of trying to change them, and why the "80/20 rule" isn't the relationship advice people think it is.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Darcy Sterling, licensed therapist, relationship expert, and host of We Need To Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling, joins the podcast to unpack why so many people confuse anxiety with chemistry—and how our relationship patterns often keep us stuck dating the same types of people over and over again. We talk about why healthy love can initially feel unfamiliar, how childhood experiences shape attraction, and why emotional consistency is often mistaken for a lack of spark. Dr. Darcy also explains the importance of learning your relationship patterns, repairing conflict instead of avoiding it, managing anxiety without making it your partner's responsibility, and why authenticity will always attract healthier relationships than playing games. Plus, we answer listener questions about impossible dating standards, feeling disconnected in healthy relationships, and the three questions everyone should ask before getting serious with someone.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jake turns 33, we recap his birthday week, and Professor Ilana is two classes in and already never wants it to end. We get into everything we didn't have time for last week: the creative ways we told our friends we were pregnant, what the first trimester is actually like, and the part nobody warns you about: the waiting. Every appointment is a month apart and the anxiety in between is real. We also tackle the question we got the most responses to on Instagram this week: how did Ilana know she was ready to have a baby? The honest answer might surprise you. Plus a listener follow-up from the Christmas party guy...there's been a development.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free shipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Olivia Atwood, Director of Matchmaking at Lox Club, joins the podcast to share how a joke matchmaking project during COVID turned into a career helping people find love—and what happened when she unexpectedly had to start dating again after the end of her own six-year relationship. We talk about dating in your 30s, the reality of dating apps, why so many people stay stuck chasing their "type," how to rebuild your confidence after heartbreak, and the surprising way Olivia met her current boyfriend. Plus, we discuss matchmaking, crushes, meeting people in real life, dating like an athlete, and why the best relationships often come from taking chances on someone unexpected.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Shamara Howard joins the podcast for an eye-opening conversation about how dating is changing—and why that's not necessarily a bad thing. We dive into why more women are choosing to stay single rather than settle, how to tell the difference between healthy standards and unrealistic expectations, and what it really means to protect your peace without closing yourself off to love. We also talk about dating burnout, emotional maturity, building a fulfilling life on your own, the "gender war" happening online, and why the healthiest relationships are the ones that make your nervous system feel safe. Plus, Dr. Howard shares her best advice for long-term relationships, how couples can communicate through change, outdated relationship advice that needs to disappear, and the simple habit that can completely transform your relationship.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're pregnant, we're 15 weeks along, and we've been dying to tell you. This episode is everything: a clip from when we first found out, what the first trimester was actually like (the smell sensitivity, the endless weeks of feeling ill beyond belief, the food aversions, having to leave Carbone mid-dinner in Miami), how we told our families and so much more. We also want to acknowledge that this news isn't easy for everyone to hear, and we understand that. The rest of the podcast stays exactly what it's always been. But Cohosts for Life is where we'll be sharing the journey...and we're so glad you're here for it.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After answering more than 10,000 dating questions over the years, I've realized something: most people don't actually need more advice. They need better questions. In this solo episode, I'm sharing the questions I wish everyone would ask themselves before asking their friends what to do. We talk about dating potential versus reality, the difference between evidence and assumptions, why you shouldn't have to earn love, how fear influences our decisions, and why the goal of dating isn't to avoid heartbreak. It's to trust yourself enough to handle whatever happens next.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Linnea Sage joins the podcast to share how losing her voice acting career to AI unexpectedly led her to create The Jewish Dating Game, a live dating show helping singles connect beyond the apps. We talk about why modern dating feels so transactional, how first dates become interviews instead of experiences, why we often choose the wrong "type," and the simple ways to create genuine chemistry and connection. Plus, Linnea shares why creating community is just as important as finding love, and how putting your phone down might be the best dating advice you'll hear all year.Learn more at thejewishdatinggame.com and follow @thejewishdatinggame for upcoming events. The Jewish Dating Game hosts a monthly live show in New York City's Lower East Side and is currently touring across the U.S.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Barkley had us in a full panic leading us to the vet ER and then immediately ran laps around the facility like nothing happened. Ilana's Professor era officially begins this week, and we weigh in on the Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce MSG wedding because of course we do. Plus, listener questions: advice for someone trying to actually talk to people at dating mixers and speed dating events, and how to deal with not liking your close friend's boyfriend — without ruining the friendship.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After reading 10,000+ dating and relationship questions, I've noticed that most people are asking the same thing in different ways: "How do I know I'm making the right choice?" In this solo episode, I'm breaking down four listener questions about anxiety, intuition, dating with intention, relationship doubts, and the pressure to know if someone is "the one." We talk about why modern dating feels so overwhelming, how social media has distorted our expectations around certainty and chemistry, and the biggest lesson I've learned from years of helping people navigate relationships: clarity comes from experience, not endless analysis.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Therapist and co-host of the Therapy Brothers podcast, Tyler Patrick joins the podcast to share his personal story of addiction, betrayal, recovery, and rebuilding trust after everything fell apart. We talk about why betrayal feels so traumatic, what happens when shame keeps us stuck, how to heal when your nervous system is constantly on high alert, and the difference between surviving a betrayal and truly recovering from it. Plus, we discuss rebuilding trust in yourself, navigating triggers, finding safety after heartbreak, and why healing is possible—even when it feels impossible. http://therapybrothers.org/seeingotherpeopleALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ilana's back on Love Island (long story), Jake played golf four times in eight days, and we're doing absolutely nothing for July 4th and couldn't be happier about it. Three listener questions this week: someone who got blindsided when a guy ended things just one week after they became exclusive — and how not to let it derail you from dating; the reality of being the single friend when all your close friends are in relationships; and a surprisingly tricky one about whether it's okay to vent to your brother's girlfriend about your brother when she's become one of your closest friends.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this raw and emotional follow-up to I Didn't Expect This Relationship to Break Me, an anonymous guest returns to share the final chapter of her story—and the moment she finally found the strength to walk away.After years of broken promises, emotional neglect, financial strain, and a relationship that left her feeling increasingly disconnected from herself, she opens up about what kept her stuck, the guilt and shame she carried, and the heartbreaking realization that love alone wasn't enough to make the relationship work.We talk about losing yourself in a toxic relationship, the impact of unresolved grief and abandonment wounds, the fear of letting go, and why leaving isn't always as simple as knowing you deserve better. Most importantly, she shares how she's beginning to rebuild her life, reconnect with herself, and choose healing after years of putting someone else's needs before her own.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Brandi Davis (@backpocketcounseling) joins the podcast for a deep dive into modern dating, relationship anxiety, communication, attachment styles, and the patterns that keep us stuck.As a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Back Pocket Counseling, Brandi shares why so many people feel exhausted by dating, how social media fuels comparison and self-doubt, the signs of emotional unavailability we often ignore, and why breaking unhealthy relationship cycles is harder than simply knowing better. We also discuss confidence, communication, mixed signals, attachment theory, and what healthy relationships actually look like in practice.Connect with Brandi: Back Pocket CounselingALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're recording at the earliest time ever — Friday morning, two broken water dishes deep, and heading into an absolutely stacked weekend (a wedding, two baby showers, a birthday, and Father's Day). We run through a round of dating debates and would-you-rathers — who should text first after a date, is it ever okay to snoop, can you be best friends with an ex — before getting into two listener questions: one from someone whose eight-month relationship is about to hit a wall when he moves to Seattle for work, and one from someone whose boyfriend still likes every single photo his ex posts.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

At 25 years old, this anonymous guest has never been in a serious relationship—and while she knows she's not alone, it often feels that way. In this unfiltered conversation, she opens up about watching friends get engaged while she's still navigating first dates, the pressure of feeling "behind," and the self-doubt that comes from wondering why love hasn't happened yet. We talk about health struggles, moving to a new city, dating intentionally, and learning to trust that being selective isn't a flaw. Plus, we discuss comparison, timelines, and why building a full life while you're single is something worth celebrating.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Julie LaPlaca joins the podcast to share her journey from longtime producer on the Bachelor franchise to author of The Love Producer. We talk about what really happens behind the scenes of reality dating shows, how helping others find love impacted her own relationships, why she walked away from her dream job, and the self-discovery journey that followed. Plus, we discuss vulnerability, hypnotherapy, dating patterns, and what it truly means to create your own happily ever after.Grab a copy of the book and connect with Julie at https://theloveproducer.com/ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeopleGet $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first orderThe best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Knicks are champions and Jake may have cried a little. We start there. Then four listener questions: whether therapy actually helped Ilana find Jake (yes, and here's how), how to tell the difference between giving someone grace and making excuses for them, whether having a great life alone means you're too independent to be in a relationship, and the big one — he's kind, emotionally available, consistent, and wants everything you want, but the spark isn't there. Do you stay or keep chasing fireworks that always burn out?ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Cara Ozek joins the podcast for a conversation about confidence, dating, and the small changes that can have a big impact. From style, grooming, body language, and dating app profiles to dating burnout, feedback, and self-growth, Cara shares how helping friends show up as their best selves inspired her own journey. We also talk about meeting people in real life, overcoming the fear of social events, staying hopeful after heartbreak, and why building a life you love is one of the most attractive things you can do.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEGet 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Addie Sellers joins the podcast to share one of the most shocking experiences of her matchmaking career: working with a client who was later convicted and sentenced to 80 years in prison. We talk about the subtle red flags people miss in dating, why trusting your gut matters, how predators can hide behind seemingly perfect reputations, and the lessons Addie learned that changed the way she approaches relationships forever. Plus, we discuss rejection, resilience, and the importance of collecting data—not making excuses—when getting to know someone.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEGet 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Happy Monday! We're recording from Jake's childhood bedroom fresh off a wedding the night before. We talk about why we're obsessed with vows and speeches, what it's like to hear other couples' love stories and reflect on your own relationship, and the text a maid of honor read aloud that had us wanting to dig through our own phones. Then we get into our main segment: a fun game of red flags and deal breakers — but with a twist. For each scenario, we share what single us would have thought versus what married, more seasoned us thinks now. From slow texters to exes on Instagram, financial baggage to crying on the first date, it's equal parts honest, funny, and surprisingly nuanced.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEIf your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get freeshipping on your first order.Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This solo episode is all about hindsight, growth, and the dating choices I understand differently now. I’m reacting to listener-submitted scenarios through two lenses: what past me probably would’ve done, and what I’d do now. We’re talking about emotionally unavailable people, confusing anxiety for chemistry, trying to be chosen instead of evaluating compatibility, and the difference between knowing better versus actually being ready to do better.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEGet 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lauren Makler joins the podcast for a conversation about fertility anxiety, egg freezing, dating pressure, and the emotional weight so many women carry around timelines. From AMH testing and IVF to secondary infertility, miscarriages, and dating in your 30s, we talk about the difference between making empowered decisions versus fear-based ones. Lauren also opens up about her own rare disease diagnosis, the experience that led her to start Cofertility, and why she believes knowledge is power when it comes to fertility and relationships.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEGet 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 Happy anniversary to us — we're recording this one from Miami in the hotel where we took our first trip together five years ago. Jake planned the whole thing, and we almost missed the flight (not our fault!). We get into the debate that started at the airport: are you still on your parents' phone plan in your 30s? Four listener questions this week: the guy who followed you on Instagram two years after you told him you weren't a match, being 25 and single while all your friends pair off, comparing your engagement timeline to an acquaintance who just got engaged after three months, and the guy who says money is tight and all your dates are at his house — hookup or just broke?ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEGet 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Allison Lane joins the podcast for a conversation about dating in your 30s, meeting people in real life, and the pressure women feel to have everything figured out by a certain age. From run clubs and dating apps to confidence, friendships, and navigating New York City single, we talk about what it actually looks like to put yourself out there without romanticizing every interaction. Allison also opens up about being an only child and feeling the pressure around marriage and kids, how running changed her life after a difficult period, and her experience losing weight naturally in the middle of the GLP-1 era. ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEGet 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Joy Burkheimer joins the podcast for a conversation about second chances, relationship “redemption arcs,” and whether people can actually change after hurting someone they love. From attachment styles and cheating to avoidant behavior, breakups, and the psychology behind going back to an ex, we talk about the difference between genuine growth and simply saying the right things. Dr. Joy also opens up about how her own divorce led her to become a therapist, why relationships naturally evolve every few years, and what it really means to choose your partner over and over again. We also get into dating anxiety, rebuilding trust, listener questions about reconnecting with exes, and why protecting your peace doesn’t always mean walking away.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEGet 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're both sick, we slept until noon, and we have a mystery anniversary trip in two days — Jake planned the whole thing and Ilana has no idea where they're going. We talk froyo orders (gummy bears are a crime), the great do-guys-actually-give-each-other-style-feedback debate, and tease next week's recording from wherever they end up. Two listener questions this week: one from someone whose relationship has been conflict-free for a year and is spiraling because the internet says that's a red flag (spoiler: it's not), and one from someone who knows her ex wasn't right for her but still can't stop hurting seeing him move on.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLEGet 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeopleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.