The Choose Yourself Channel

You Are What You Consume - Food, Friends, Fear & FoundationsSome people consume content all day and still wonder why they feel lost… others get curious, take action, and build an entirely different life from it.In this episode, we sit down with Caleb — “The Black Irish Realtor” — entrepreneur, food lover, athlete, realtor, and owner of Ideal Nutrition, for a hilarious and eye-opening conversation on identity, nutrition, business, culture, self-belief, and what it means to actually create a life instead of just consuming one. IG - @theblackirishrealtorFrom growing up mixed race in Ireland and struggling to fit in, to moving to America on a rugby scholarship with no blueprint, Caleb shares how curiosity, risk-taking, and staying authentic shaped his evolution. We dive into food quality differences between Europe and America, preservatives, health, entrepreneurship, and why most people are overcomplicating success instead of simply taking the next step. Between stories about selling perfume samples at school, working bars, selling cars, real estate, dogs taking over couches, and learning business from old Irish hustlers, this episode blends humor with real perspective on building resilience and multiple streams of income.This conversation is also a reminder that your environment matters. The people you surround yourself with, the food you consume, the content you watch, and the risks you’re willing to take all shape your future. Because choosing yourself isn’t just motivation—it’s learning how to create systems, routines, and opportunities that align with who you’re becoming.Takeaways ⬇️Curiosity can become your career if you’re willing to act on itThe food we consume impacts far more than just weightYour environment either expands your thinking or limits itSimplicity and consistency beat overcomplicationTaking risks is necessary if you want a different lifeReal growth often starts when you leave your comfort zoneAt some point, we all have to decide… Are we going to keep consuming life passively or start creating something meaningful from what we’ve been given?Your story, your culture, your struggles, and your curiosity might be the exact ingredients needed to build your future.“Keep it simple. Start somewhere. Figure it out as you grow.”🐬 Grow With Us ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.)❤️‍🩹 Gut Repair Solution🏝️ Annual CYC Retreat📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Some people spend their whole life avoiding discomfort… others walk through the fire and learn how to become stronger because of it.In this episode, we sit down with Joe Spector - ex-firefighter, speaker, emotional resilience expert, husband, and father... for one of the deepest conversations yet on trauma, identity, grief, emotional regulation, and what it really means to choose yourself when life completely falls apart.From being a police officer and fire captain to losing his career after a traumatic brain injury, Joe opens up about the spiral that followed: financial stress, grief, loss, emotional shutdown, family tension, and ultimately reaching a breaking point that forced him to finally face himself. This episode dives into the dangerous illusion of “having it all together,” especially for men taught to suppress emotions instead of process them.We break down the parallels between firefighting and life itself - learning how to prepare for adversity, regulate your nervous system under pressure, and stop bleeding unhealed pain onto the people you love most. From breathwork and therapy to parenting, faith, and rebuilding identity after loss, this conversation is packed with wisdom, humor, truth, and practical perspective for anyone navigating hard seasons.Takeaways ⬇️You can be successful on the outside and still be suffering internallyChoosing yourself is not selfish, it’s how you become dependable for othersEmotional regulation is a skill set, not a personality traitYour children don’t just need provision… they need presenceEverything you want in life is on the other side of your comfort zoneHealing starts when you stop avoiding what hurtsAt some point, life stops asking how productive you are… and starts asking how prepared you are internally when everything changes.Because adversity doesn’t build character out of nowhere, it reveals the foundation that was already there... and sometimes the strongest thing a person can do… is finally ask for help then back it up with acceptance and accountability. CONNECT WITH JOE“You can’t keep bleeding on people who didn’t cut you.”🐬 Grow With Us ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.)❤️‍🩹 Order THREE GRS🏝️ Annual CYC Retreat📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Some people think choosing yourself is ego… but it’s actually returning to the version of you that existed before the world started programming you.In this episode, we sit down with Thanecha - creator, coach, and community builder whose story started in survival mode: homelessness, instability, and navigating life without a clear foundation... but what makes this conversation powerful isn’t just where she came from… it’s how she chose to rewrite what was possible.From overcoming a poverty mindset to stepping into creativity through music, fitness, and community, this episode breaks down what it really means to stay curious, stay open, and build your identity through experience instead of expectation. We dive into spirituality, inner child healing, relationships, and the power of setting boundaries because growth isn’t just about doing more… it’s about becoming someone who no longer tolerates what once held them back.Takeaways ⬇️Your environment may shape you, but it doesn’t have to limit youStaying curious is one of the most powerful tools for growthYou don’t need to know the full path—you need to take the next stepBoundaries are a sign of self-respect, not selfishnessHealing your inner child isn’t weakness—it’s responsibilityAt some point, we all reach a moment where we have to decide… Are we going to keep living from survival patterns or start creating from self-awareness?You’re not just your story… you’re what you choose to do with it.“You don’t need permission to become who you already are.”Grow With Us ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Gut Repair Solution 🏝️ CYC annual Retreat (Sedona, AZ)📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Some people wait for the perfect moment… others start building with whatever they have.In this episode, we sit down with Angel, owner of Benton Brew Coffee House, a creator, entrepreneur, and visionary who turned a 20-year dream into a real space for connection, creativity, and community.This conversation dives into what it actually looks like to choose yourself while still working a 9–5, balancing responsibilities, and investing into your vision daily. From selling magazines as a kid to creating studios, coffee lounges, and creative spaces, Angel shows that success isn’t about one big moment.. it’s about stacking checkpoints, discipline, and belief over time.We talk about the importance of routine, presence, and awareness, from something as simple as drinking water in the morning to being intentional with your time, your energy, and even how you eat because building your dream isn’t just about business… it’s about becoming someone who can sustain it.Takeaways ⬇️Your dream doesn’t require you to quit everything, it requires you to use what you have wiselyThere isn’t always one “trigger point” ..growth is built through consistent checkpointsPresence is power! Whether in your work, your meals, or your relationshipsYour foundation (routines, discipline, awareness) determines your futureYou don’t need to know how you’ll get there but you must believe where you’re goingAt some point, you have to decide… Are you going to keep consuming life or start creating something from it?Your dream isn’t waiting on time… it’s waiting on you.

Some people go through trauma and stay stuck… others go through it and build something from it.In this episode, we sit down with Tree Kadayso - a powerful self-chooser, mother, and leader in the CYC who shares how her story of childhood trauma, abuse, and environmental challenges didn’t define her… it refined her.This conversation goes deep into what it really looks like to face your triggers, change your environment, and build a foundation strong enough to carry not just you but your family forward. From navigating generational patterns to raising kids with awareness, Tree shows that healing isn’t just personal… it’s legacy work.We talk about the moments where it would’ve been easier to fall back into old habits and how choosing yourself daily, through discipline and community, creates a completely different future.. because at the end of the day, your past may shape you but your choices define you.Takeaways ⬇️Your trauma is real but it doesn’t get to run your life foreverAwareness is the first step but action is what changes everythingYour environment can either trap you or transform youThe foundation you build today impacts your entire family tomorrowChoosing yourself is how you break generational cyclesAt some point, we all have to make a decision… Are we going to keep living from what happened to us or start building from who we’re becoming?Our story isn’t our limitation… it’s our responsibility.“You’re not your past… you’re your patterns ... and your patterns can change with you next choice.”Grow With Us ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Choosing yourself through trauma, triggers, and transformationNobody signs up for trauma… not you, not me, not your baby mama. But we all go through something. The real question is what are you doing with it?In this preview, we talk about how pain can either keep you stuck or push you into your next level. From childhood abuse to self-abuse (yeah… hitting snooze, sugar overload, late-night cravings .. we see you), this episode calls out the habits that keep us in the same loop because it’s not just what happened to you… it’s what you keep doing to yourself after.We introduce Tree Kadayso one of the strongest OG self-choosers I've ever encountered, whose story comes from real adversity - abuse, loss, traumatic childhood and a toxic environment where silence was normalized... but instead of staying in victim mode, she embraced the TEFIC process: triggers, environment, foundation, investment, and contribution and turned her pain into purpose!Your past might not be our fault… but our future is 100% your responsibility.So are you still sitting in the same story or are you ready to evolve?Grow With Us ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

In this episode, we sit down with Joe Cubero (aka The Professional Ex) - author, creator, and relationship strategist who breaks down why so many people stay stuck in the same relationship cycles.This isn’t about blaming your ex… This is about becoming the version of you that stops creating them.We unpack the patterns, the ignored red flags, the lowered standards, and the identity you carry into every relationship whether you realize it or not.You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you tolerate.🔥 What We Cover✨ Why most people repeat the same relationship patterns ✨ The difference between choosing someone vs. needing someone ✨ Red flags we see but ignore ✨ How your lifestyle and habits shape your love life ✨ Why healing is required, not optional ✨ Becoming someone who walks away with self-respectJoe Cubero IG Order Joe's Book - The Dating Playbook Joe Cubero shares insights from his book, breaking down:The do’s, don’ts, and deal-breakers in modern datingHow to recognize unhealthy patterns earlyWhat it really means to choose yourself in relationships🌴 Live Event AnnouncementWe’re bringing this conversation to life…📍 April 25th | Florida Workshop Joe Cubero x Hakeem Bourne McFarlaneA live experience focused on:Identity & self-worthRelationship standardsBuilding a foundation that attracts aligned partnershipsThis is more than a workshop… it’s a reset.🐬 Choose Yourself TakeawayIf you keep attracting the same person in different bodies… It’s not coincidence—it’s conditioning.Change your standards. Change your habits. Change your life.🚀 Tap In🎟️ Join the “CYC” for calendar details 📖 Grab Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Subscribe to the Choose Yourself Channel

In this preview, we break down a real problem in modern dating: overconsumption.Too many options, too much scrolling, too much stimulation and not enough self-awareness, discipline, or intention.This preview dives into why Choose Yourself is the foundation of dating because your relationships will always reflect the choices you’re making in your own life.We talk about how this generation has made dating a game of consumption… instead of a process of growth, alignment, and identity.You build it by becoming someone worth connecting with not chasing appearance or temporary satisfactionThis sets the tone for the full episode, where we go deeper into dating, identity, and self-mastery with The Professional Ex, Joe Cubero. Tap into the preview… and start choosing yourself first!

When you keep donating your energy to everything else… eventually your body files a complaint.Most people don’t intentionally sacrifice their health .. they slowly donate it like spare change. A little sleep skipped here, a meal rushed there, workouts postponed, stress normalized… until the body finally says enough. In this episode of the Choose Yourself Channel, we sit down with Energy Ashley : educator, coach, parent, and one of the very first members of the Choose Yourself Community. Her journey began with a powerful trigger point: burnout, chronic pain, inflammation, and a moment where she literally found herself crawling across the floor because her body could no longer keep up with the life she was living. Instead of staying stuck in survival mode, she chose to rebuild her life through the Choose Yourself process before even knowing what it was! ... shifting her mindset, repairing her health, building daily foundations, and rediscovering purpose on her own. A true self chooser! Now she’s helping lead the next generation through CYC Kids, a branch of the Choose Yourself Community focused on helping parents, leaders, and young people build stronger foundations early in life. We meet monthly on zoom with other families, parents and leaders. Because when you fix the foundation… the entire house begins to change.Tap into this episode to hear how one decision to choose yourself can ripple into your family, your community, and the next generation.@Energyashley Choose Yourself Community (CYC) Weekly accountability + monthly CYC Kids leadership sessions.

In this preview episode, we break down a powerful truth most people overlook: choosing yourself was never meant to be a solo sport. We’ve been conditioned to think independence means isolation, but the reality is that humans are designed for systems, connection, and accountability. Even the body operates this way: your brain has hemispheres, your heart has chambers, and your body runs on interconnected systems. Life works the same way. big (6)This short preview dives into the philosophy behind the Choose Yourself process: recognizing your trigger points, evaluating your environment, building strong foundations, investing in yourself, and ultimately contributing from overflow. We talk about why isolation increases relapse, why community strengthens discipline, and how surrounding yourself with the right people can transform habits, health, and purpose.You’ll also hear how the Choose Yourself Community (CYC) helps people break free from victimhood, addiction, burnout, and old programming while building the systems that support real change.This episode also sets the stage for the next full conversation, where we’ll bring on one of the earliest members of the community to share what it looks like when someone fully commits to the process and turns personal growth into leadership.Tap into the preview, and get ready for the full episode!

In this episode, we sit down with Waren English for a real, unfiltered conversation about health, discipline, and building a foundation when life doesn’t give you ideal conditions. From immigrating from the Caribbean and living with his family in a single bedroom in New York, to navigating injury, career pivots, and uncertainty, Waren shares how action became the bridge between confusion and confidence.Grow with Waren : CLICK HEREWe talk about why so many people will clock in early for a boss they barely like, but won’t clock 20 minutes for the body they’re stuck with for life. The conversation moves through obesity, overconsumption, and the modern contradiction of being overfed, overstimulated, and still exhausted. Waren breaks down how fitness became his anchor for energy, focus, and self-trust and why protecting your health is foundational to leadership, purpose, and contribution.The episode also dives deep into Warren’s background in pharmacy and why he ultimately walked away from traditional pharmaceutical pathways. We explore prevention over reaction, food quality over food noise, and how modern systems often treat symptoms while ignoring behavior, sleep, nutrition, and movement. A major portion of the conversation unpacks peptides and GLP-1s what they actually are, how they work in the body, why they’re effective, and why they fail without discipline, nutrition, and training to support them.This isn’t a conversation about shortcuts. It’s about alignment. About treating the body like a performance machine instead of a rental car. About using tools as tools not crutches and about understanding that when your foundation is strong, pressure doesn’t break you, it reveals you.Takeaways from the episode:Confidence doesn’t come from clarity, it comes from actionHealth is a prerequisite for focus, leadership, and longevityOverconsumption isn’t a hunger problem, it’s a regulation problemPeptides and GLP-1s can support change, but habits determine outcomesPrevention, movement, and nutrition outperform willpower every timeAre you building a body that can hold your purpose or one that negotiates under pressure?Grow With the CYC ⬇️🐬 CYC Accountability Zoom (weekly)❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Opportunity Zoom 🏝️ CYC Retreat (Annual) 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel (please leave a review!)

This preview episode opens in real time: hunger, pressure, stress, and the temptation to cope instead of stay disciplined. It sets the tone for a conversation about choosing yourself when life doesn’t slow down for you. You don’t wait for perfect conditions to choose yourself... you choose yourself inside the chaos.We introduce Waren English through a moment that captures the heart of the episode: realizing what’s possible simply by being around someone who trains, thinks, and lives differently. From immigrating with his family into a small New York City apartment to navigating injury, uncertainty, and career pivots, Waren’s story highlights gratitude over victimhood and action over excuses.. As he says in the episode, “Without clarity, the only thing that can give you any type of confidence at all is action.”This preview walks through the TEFIC : recognizing trigger points, evaluating environment, building a foundation, investing intentionally, and contributing from overflow. It touches on movement as non-negotiable, treating the body with respect instead of like a rental car, and why so many people will clock in for money but refuse to clock in for their health. The episode also tees up deeper conversations around metabolic dysfunction, peptides, discipline, and alignment for longevity and purpose.If pressure showed up today, would your preparation hold or would you negotiate?Grow With Us ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

In this episode Big Dream Hakeem engages in a vibrant conversation with Jeannette also known as @Mis.FitVegan. They explore the transformative power of choosing a raw vegan lifestyle, discussing how it can lead to improved health and emotional well-being. Jeannette shares her personal journey from struggling with depression and weight issues to embracing a raw food diet, which she credits for her vitality and youthful appearance. The discussion touches on the importance of self-acceptance, spirituality, and the impact of food choices on overall health, emphasizing that the journey to wellness is deeply personal and varies for everyone.Throughout the episode, Jeannette highlights the significance of understanding one's relationship with food and the environment, advocating for a lifestyle that prioritizes fresh, whole foods over processed options. The conversation also delves into the spiritual aspects of health, with both speakers reflecting on their experiences with loss and how it has shaped their current beliefs and practices. The episode is filled with humor, insights, and practical advice for listeners looking to improve their health and well-being by making conscious choices.Grow with Jeanette Ms. FitVeganInstagram Website (free book )TakeawaysChapters00:00 Introduction to Raw Veganism01:30 Jeannette's Transformation Story05:14 Spiritual Awakening and Health Choices11:46 The Impact of Food on Health20:42 Belief Systems and Health27:22 The Role of Fresh Foods in Wellness38:03 Navigating Food Choices and Supplements49:51 Final Thoughts on Choosing Yourself

In this preview episode leading to the conversation with Jeanette aka Ms. FitVegan we open with a raw truth: we live in a world where food lasts longer than relationships, obesity is at an all-time high, attention spans are shrinking, and people are confused why their bodies feel inflamed, tired, and disconnected. What we eat has become fast, fake, and cheap and it’s quietly shaping our gut, our energy, and our identity. This episode isn’t about perfection or extremes... it’s about awareness, balance, and understanding what food is actually teaching the body. CLICK HERE TO CONNECT WITH MS FITVEGANJeanette, aka Misfit Vegan, shares parts of her story.. being depressed and suicidal at 26, nearly 200 pounds at 5’2”, struggling with cystic acne, and willing to try anything after every diet failed. Her journey into raw food wasn’t about trends, it was about survival. Through learning how to choose food intentionally, she built a foundation that restored her health, shaped her discipline, and eventually became her brand. From investing her severance into learning and travel, to volunteering at fruit festivals, to now running the largest fruit festival in the world, Jeanette’s story shows how healing, education, and consistency can turn lifestyle into purpose.This preview also touches on grief, loss, and contribution. Jeanette lost her mother, sister, and grandparents, and caring for her sister deeply shaped her discipline and direction. Food became a way to honor life, not numb pain. Her story reminds us that choosing yourself isn’t about raw food versus cooked food .. it’s about whether you’re willing to live differently so your future doesn’t look like your past. The Choose Yourself process shows up the same way every time: triggers wake us up, environment shapes us, foundation keeps us steady, investment creates energy, and contribution gives it meaning.CLICK HERE TO CONNECT WITH MS FITVEGANThe question this episode leaves us with is simple: If food is information, what have you been teaching your body? DM ME for information on the gut repair solution. Grow With Us ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

This episode of the Choose Yourself Channel explores what it really means to choose yourself when motivation alone isn’t enough. Dr. Dan Gubler shares how science has been part of his life for generations — from growing up in his grandfather’s lab to witnessing his grandfather’s battle with cancer, a moment that shaped his lifelong mission to use chemistry to transform health. What began as a career in synthesizing pharmaceutical drugs turned into a defining realization: many of the same effects could be achieved through molecules found in plants, without the harsh side effects. That realization led him away from synthetic drugs and into the natural product world.Throughout the conversation, we walk through the Choose Yourself process in a practical, human way. Triggers show up as illness, fatigue, inflammation, food noise, and chronic cravings. Environment expands beyond people and habits into food, water, air, soil, and the chemical overload of modern life. Dr. Dan explains why inflammation sits at the root of nearly all disease, how lifeless food lacking vitamins, minerals, and phytonutrients disrupts hunger hormones, and why the body often isn’t craving more food — it’s craving nourishment it’s not receiving.We dive into GLP-1 signaling, weight regulation, and the difference between synthetic injectables and natural peptides. Dr. Dan breaks down complex science using simple metaphors, explaining how synthetic drugs act like keys jammed into locks, while natural molecules gently activate and release receptors as the body was designed to do. He explains why preserving lean muscle, bone density, and metabolic balance matters more than rapid weight loss, and how appetite suppression becomes healing only when it restores awareness rather than eliminates hunger altogether.The conversation also expands into fasting, gut health, and energy regulation. Dr. Dan shares how fasting allows the body to step out of crisis mode and resolve deep-seated inflammation, why regulating blood sugar and insulin is critical for repairing gut-brain communication, and how GLP-1 acts as a master regulator influencing metabolism, neurotransmitters, and even addiction pathways. Together, we explore why small, consistent changes compound into massive health outcomes .. not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.Episode TakeawaysChoosing yourself applies to biology just as much as mindsetInflammation and nutrient depletion quietly drive cravings and fatigueSynthetic shortcuts often solve symptoms while creating new problemsNatural regulation supports long-term balance, not just short-term resultsHunger, energy, and discipline improve when physiology is supportedSmall daily changes compound into massive health outcomesThis conversation invites a deeper question: if your body had the right tools, would choosing yourself finally feel sustainable? Dr. Dan’s work reminds us that discipline becomes easier when the body is supported, awareness returns when systems are balanced, and real health is built through alignment .. not force.Choosing yourself isn’t just a mindset. It’s a biological process.Grow With Me ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Season one showed us something powerful: choosing yourself isn’t a personality trait, it’s a process. Different guests, different stories, different “meat suits,” but the same pattern every single time TEFIC: triggers, environment, foundation, investment, and contribution. We didn’t just talk about success; we talked about survival, alignment, integrity, and what it actually took to get there. Most people weren’t broken — they were just unprepared — and when motivation faded, they fell to the level of their preparation.This Season 2 preview sets the tone for what’s next. Choosing yourself is still the mission, but now we’re going deeper into the environments that make that choice harder : toxins in food, water, air, screens, chemicals, and overstimulation. We get into inflammation, fatigue, cravings, weight gain, discipline, and why self-control becomes nearly impossible when the body is depleted and inflamed. This next episode also introduces Dr. Dan Gubler’s story .. leaving synthetic pharmaceutical sales, questioning the systems he was told to trust, and turning back to nature to support gut health, metabolism, hunger signaling, and real regulation instead of shortcuts.The question that opens Season 2 is simple: If choosing yourself feels harder than it should… is it really a character issue, or is it an environment issue?Grow With Me ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

This conversation with Nate O'brien centers on a simple truth: preparation matters more than motivation when pressure shows up. We talk about why so many people want the glow-up without the groundwork, praying for growth but panicking when adversity arrives because the work wasn’t done beforehand. Nate speaks from lived experience - not theory - sharing what it looks like when life applies real pressure through loss, responsibility, and uncertainty, and why foundation, not talent or hype, determines what holds.Throughout the episode, we move through the Choose Yourself process in real time. Triggers are named, especially numbing, masking, and avoidance, and why they don’t disappear when ignored .. they get louder. We explore environment beyond substances, into conversations, media, habits, and energy drains, and why choosing yourself can feel lonely when old people, places, and patterns no longer align. Discipline, early mornings, cold exposure, and routine are framed not as punishment, but as preparation for grief, stress, and the uncontrollables that eventually come for everyone.Tap in with Nate on IG Episode TakeawaysPreparation matters more than motivation when pressure shows upTriggers get louder when ignoredChronic stress and avoidance weaken decision-making and emotional controlEnvironment includes people, media, and daily inputsDiscipline isn’t punishment — it’s preparationPoor systems cost more than humility and mentorshipThis episode ultimately comes back to responsibility, not in a heavy way, but in an empowering one. We talk about ego, systems, mentorship, and how one honest conversation or apology can completely change the direction of a relationship, a business, or a season of life. The message isn’t to do more.. it’s to be ready, so when life shows up, you don’t fold.“If opportunity or adversity showed up tomorrow, would your mind, body, and character be ready?”Grow With Me ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Most people want the glow up without the groundwork. They pray for growth, but panic when pressure shows up because the work wasn’t done before adversity arrived. This preview sets the tone for a conversation that isn’t about motivation - it’s about preparation and what actually determines how you survive when the storm hits.In this preview, Nate speaks from experience, not theory. We touch on losing money, losing employees, losing relationships, and losing yourself, and why foundation — not talent, not vibes — decides the outcome. The conversation moves through triggers, environment, foundation, investment, and contribution, including numbing and masking behaviors, why triggers get louder when ignored, how chronic stress and avoidance impact decision-making, and why certain environments quietly drain your energy.This episode ultimately asks one simple question: If the opportunity or adversity showed up tomorrow, would your mind, body, and character be ready?Grow With Me ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen (book) 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Some people don’t change because they’re inspired. They change because the old version of them can’t survive anymore.In this episode of the Choose Yourself Channel, I sit down with Chris Spruill - founder of Start Over Fitness - whose transformation didn’t begin with discipline or fitness. It began when he was hit by a truck. Chris describes that moment as the death of the version of him that was living in darkness. “I was dark and now I’m light. I was dead and now I’m alive. It was the death of the flesh, and it birthed the spirit.”That experience forced him into isolation, reflection, and responsibility and reshaped how he approaches life, training, and purpose.Chris shares how life gave him repeated warnings before it finally stopped him. “I had like twelve trigger points before I finally turned one into a turning point.” We talk about why pain repeats until it’s acknowledged, how relationships act as mirrors, and why trigger points aren’t punishments .. they’re invitations.As he evolved, familiar environments no longer fit. “My spirit guides me away from places I no longer fit… I’m interested in growth, morals, values, substance, and purpose.” We unpack why outgrowing people and spaces isn’t betrayal - it’s alignment - and how old environments can resurrect old identities if you’re not intentional.Discipline shows up throughout this conversation, but not as restriction. Chris reframes it as protection. “Kill yourself daily. We’re built to be consumers ... kill that. Be a producer.” We explore routine, fasting, solitude, controlled struggle, and why training discomfort on purpose strengthens the space between emotion and action .. the space where choice lives.Rather than extremes, Chris emphasizes small, repeatable systems. “One habit. One adjustment. One month at a time.” Motivation fades. Systems compound. Healing turns into leadership when ownership replaces avoidance.This isn’t a fitness episode. It’s a conversation about choosing intention over default, alignment over comfort, and responsibility over excuses.If you’ve felt stuck in cycles or tired of repeating the same lessons, this episode will meet you honestly and challenge you directly.Tap in with Chris WEBSITE Grow With Me ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen (book) 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel#CYC #chooseyourself #motivation #love #accountability #mindset #selfmastery #transformation

Some people don’t change until the old version of them dies💪🏾In this preview episode, I set the tone for my conversation with Chris, founder of Start Over Fitness, a trainer, a spiritual thinker, and someone who didn’t wake up one day and decide to change.. life forced it. Chris was literally hit by a truck, and according to him, that version of him didn’t survive. What followed wasn’t just recovery, it was a rebirth. We talk about what happens when pain stops being something you run from and starts becoming the thing that redirects your entire life.💥Most people say they want change but they don’t want the death that comes before it. They don’t want to let go of the addictions, the old friends, the environments, or the identity that feels familiar even when it’s killing them. In this preview, I break down how trigger points repeat until you stop numbing and start listening, why relationships expose what you haven’t healed, and how environments don’t just influence behavior... they resurrect old versions of you if you’re not intentional.🌟Triggers aren’t punishments, they’re instructions. Growth requires burial before it brings resurrection. If you keep planting yourself in the same soil, don’t be surprised when nothing changes.∞This episode sets up a deeper conversation about discipline, fasting, controlled struggle, solitude, and building identity through routine instead of extremes. We get into why discipline isn’t restriction, it’s protection, why consumption loops keep people spiritually and emotionally weak, and how small systems practiced daily build self-trust over time. This isn’t fitness talk — it’s a masterclass on choosing intention over emotion, even when your environment, habits, and history are pulling you backward.If this preview hits, the full episode goes much deeper. It challenges you to ask whether you’re actually changing… or just coping better while hoping life doesn’t force the lesson again.Grow With Me ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen (book) 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Healing before dating, nervous system regulation, and choosing alignment over chemistry — a conversation with Chelsko Nellie🌱 Chelsko’s story didn’t start with coaching or clarity, it started with repetition. Back-to-back abusive relationships forced her to confront a hard truth: she wasn’t unlucky, she was unhealed. Instead of blaming partners, she turned inward and asked why her nervous system kept choosing the same dynamics in different bodies. That question became the doorway to solitude, self-honesty, and the deep work that would later shape her mission.🌍 Through seasons of stepping away from dating, cutting off external validation, and traveling the world, Chelsko learned that attention can feel like love when you’ve been deprived of safety. She shares how choosing to be alone... truly alone... helped her break patterns rooted in abandonment, fear of intimacy, and the need to be chosen. What began as personal healing evolved into a blueprint she now teaches others: you don’t attract better by trying harder, you attract better by becoming regulated.❤️ In this conversation, she opens up about faith, discipline, and why relationships don’t heal wounds, they expose them. She explains how many people feel “healed” in isolation, only to unravel once intimacy activates old trauma. Rather than running from that activation, Chelsko teaches how to prepare for it through nervous system regulation, boundaries, and consistent self-investment.🧠 Together, we explore why trauma is often mistaken for chemistry, why chaos feels exciting while calm feels suspicious, and how modern overstimulation keeps people addicted to intensity instead of intimacy. From breathwork and exercise to solitude and sobriety from validation, this episode connects emotional healing to practical systems that support long-term alignment.✨ What you’ll take from this episode:How unhealed patterns repeat until they’re addressedWhy familiar chaos feels safer than unfamiliar peaceThe difference between chemistry and nervous system conditioningWhy distance isn’t betrayal — it’s alignmentHow faith, values, and discipline stabilize relationships when emotions fluctuate🛠️ Systems and practices discussed:Stepping away from dating to regulate your nervous systemJournaling to separate feelings from factsBreathwork and somatic practices to release stored traumaBuilding routines that create psychological safetyEvaluating values early instead of years into a relationshipUsing solitude to strengthen identity before intimacy🌊 At its core, this episode reflects the Choose Yourself process : recognizing trigger points, evaluating your environment, building a foundation in solitude, investing in yourself consistently, and creating relationships from overflow instead of need. Chelsko’s story is a reminder that love doesn’t ask you to abandon yourself .. it asks you to meet yourself first.🔥 If peace feels boring, you’re not healed, you’re conditioned and if you don’t choose yourself first, you’ll keep asking others to do it for you.Grow With Me ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen (book) 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

💫If chaos feels exciting and peace feels boring, that’s not chemistry, it’s conditioning.💓In this preview episode, I open the door to a conversation with Chelsko Nellie that challenges the way most people think about attraction, healing, and relationships. We talk about how trauma bonds light up dopamine and cortisol at the same time, why your nervous system keeps pulling you toward what feels familiar even when it hurts, and how repeating the same pattern with different people isn’t bad luck.. it’s unhealed wiring. When you haven’t regulated your system, you don’t choose partners, your nervous system does.♻️You’re not attracted, you’re conditioned. If neglect feels normal, consistency feels suspicious. If chaos feels familiar, peace feels boring.🧬This preview sets the tone for the full episode, where we go deeper into healing before dating, balancing masculine and feminine polarity, and why discipline, structure, and solitude aren’t punishments... they’re what create emotional safety. We unpack how vices, overstimulation, and “just one night out” quietly reset your nervous system backward, and why choosing yourself first isn’t selfish, it’s the only way to stop bleeding on people who didn’t cut you.🏡If this hits close to home, that’s the invitation. Not to isolate, not to numb, not to jump into another connection hoping it fixes the ache but to slow down, build a foundation, and become the version of you that can actually sustain the love you say you want.Grow With the CYC ⬇️ 🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar 🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen (book) 🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

What happens when strength isn’t enough and survival demands something deeper?In this episode of the Choose Yourself Channel, I sit down with Cordero Stewart - personal trainer, entrepreneur, and living proof that resilience isn’t built in comfort. After facing a serious health crisis that forced him to slow down, strip back identity, and rebuild from the inside out, Cordero shares what most people never train for: who you become when performance is taken away.We talk about the moment the body sends a signal you can’t ignore, how isolation reveals whether your confidence is internal or borrowed, and why a real foundation isn’t about motivation..it’s about systems that hold when life collapses. This conversation isn’t about medical details. It’s about discipline without dopamine, faith before feedback, and choosing yourself when there’s no applause.This episode is for anyone who’s been humbled, reset, or forced to rebuild and is ready to turn survival into purpose.Because the ones who make it through aren’t luckier. They’re structured.Grow With the CYC ⬇️🔥 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.)🔥 Choose Yourself Heal Your Gut Webinar🔥 Costa Rica Retreat🔥 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen (book)🔥 Choose Yourself Channel

In this preview, we introduce Cordero’s story at a high level multiple surgeries back-to-back, not feeling like himself, and moments where the body was weak but faith, family, and mindset carried the weight. This isn’t the full breakdown yet. It’s a window into what happens when everything familiar is stripped away and the only thing left is who’s standing with you and what you’ve built internally.The next full episode goes deeper into resiliency, perseverance, and how having family in your corner can become the difference between giving up and getting through. It’s about surviving the surgeries, rebuilding identity, and learning how foundation.. not motivation.. keeps you moving when life doesn’t feel the same anymore.If you’ve ever wondered how much pressure you could really handle, this episode will answer it.Grow With Me ⬇️🐬 CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.)❤️‍🩹 Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar🏝️ Costa Rica Retreat📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen🎙️ Choose Yourself Channel

Money exposes mindset faster than motivation.In this episode on the Choose Yourself Channel, I sit down with Mrs. Cashflow to talk about what really happens when expectations collapse, plans fall apart, and life forces you to grow up : financially, emotionally, and spiritually.This isn’t a “get rich quick” conversation. It’s a get honest quick one.We talk about:Why money problems are rarely just about moneyHow expectations create disappointment and how accountability creates directionWhat happens when life doesn’t go your way… repeatedlyHow being finessed, failing, or coming up short becomes curriculum, not condemnationWhy financial literacy without identity work still keeps people stuckMrs. Cashflow shares real stories around trial, error, humility, and rebuilding, and we break down how financial evolution mirrors personal evolution: You expect one outcome. Life gives you another. You either blame ... or you build. You choose. This episode ties money, mindset, and maturity back into the Choose Yourself process: Recognizing the moment things go wrong Evaluating your environment and decisions Rebuilding your foundation Investing differently ... with clarity instead of emotion And eventually contributing what you learned so others don’t repeat your mistakesIf you’ve ever:Trusted the wrong situationMade financial decisions from pressure instead of principleConfused movement with progressOr realized “nobody is coming to save me”This conversation will hit.No shame. No fluff. Just accountability, perspective, and growth.. the kind that actually compounds!🎧 Listen fully. 🧠 Reflect honestly. 🔥 Choose yourself .. especially when it’s uncomfortable.⭐️ Grow With Me! ⬇️ 🐬CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.) ❤️‍🩹Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar Zoom 🏝️Costa Rica Retreat 📖 Choose Yourself to Be Chosen (book) 🎙️Choose Yourself Channel#CYC #chooseyourself #motivation #love #accountability #mindset #selfmastery #transformation

Everybody wants the bag… until it’s time to build the discipline to keep it.In this 10-minute preview, I sit down with Mrs. Cash Flows to crack open the real conversation most people avoid: Why money problems aren’t just financial.. they’re emotional, habitual, and environmental.We touch on:Growing up around money but never learning how to respect itRetail therapy, saving your way to nowhere, and why “looking rich” is expensiveWhy credit is a tool, not a flexHow habits, health, and mindset quietly sabotage your financesThis preview sets the tone for a powerful full episode about structure over status, discipline over dopamine, and why money only multiplies when you do first.If you’ve ever said “I make money but don’t feel secure,” this conversation is for you.🎙️ Full episode drops next and it goes way deeper.⭐️ Grow With Me! ⬇️🐬CYC Zoom (Tuesdays 10 a.m.)❤️‍🩹Choose Yourself, Heal Your Gut Webinar Zoom🏝️Costa Rica Retreat📖Choose Yourself to Be Chosen (book)🎙️Choose Yourself Channel

In this episode, Big Dream Hakeem sits down with Kasia - clinic owner, keynote speaker, breathwork specialist, heart-coherence Jedi, and living proof that your nervous system can glow up too.We dive straight into the wisdom of the heart, the honesty of the breath, and the beautiful chaos of becoming the person your past self was scared to meet.Kasia doesn’t just talk healing.. she lived through comparison, control, a concussion that scrambled her brain like weekend brunch, heartbreak, losing her best friend, and still found a way to turn her nervous system from “hamster on Red Bull” to “monk with WiFi.”She gives raw truth, uncomfortable gems, and practical tools you can use TODAY.🔥 What We Cover• The moment her life split into “before” and “after” and why the universe sometimes humbles you publicly • How opening a clinic at 20 taught her courage, chaos, and community (and why the town newspaper nearly ended her career) • The brain-gut-heart connection and how your emotions literally rewire your body • Why heart coherence is the “Bluetooth connection between God and your nervous system” • How movement, gratitude, and boundaries saved her from anxiety, burnout, and self-abandonment • Why grief is love in disguise and how losing her best friend gave her the wildest fuel for living fully • How to stop reacting like a triggered toddler and start responding like someone who did the inner work • The difference between walls vs. boundaries, and how your relationships expose your foundation • Why you should never shrink your light to keep someone comfortable in their shadows🎙️ Why You NEED This EpisodeIf you've been living in your head, reacting before thinking, ignoring your triggers, burning yourself out, or trying to “out-hustle” your trauma… this conversation will feel like a hard truth, a warm hug, and a spiritual slap in one.Kasia’s wisdom bridges science, soul, psychology, and real-life heartbreak with that CYC-level accountability you know and love.📚 Tap Into Your EvolutionKasia’s retreats and upcoming heart-coherence book are on the way.. and you already know I’m putting it in the CYC library the second it drops.🌱 Keep Growing with Kasia on IG 🔗 Tap in to her services and resources Want more episodes like this?👉 Join the Choose Yourself Community (CYC) — weekly calls, resources, accountability 👉 Get the Choose Yourself Book — learn the full TEFIC process 👉 Join the Foundation Programs — 30-day and 90-day transformations 👉 Tap into the weekly webinars — gut repair, mindset, and balanceYour foundation is your future. Choose yourself today so life doesn’t choose the lesson for you tomorrow.

🎧 PREVIEW — Kasia on Heart Coherence & Healing the Reactive SelfThis 10-minute previews set the stage for one of the deepest, funniest, and most emotionally intelligent conversations we’ve had all year. Hakeem breaks down what’s coming in the full episode with Kasia : a woman who built two businesses before 25, survived dark nights of the soul, healed her nervous system, and now teaches heart coherence like it’s an Olympic sport.Get ready for:Why your heart is your spiritual WiFiHow grief becomes your greatest teacherWhy boundaries save relationships (and sanity)The moment she stood face-to-face with the woman who tried to sabotage her career — 25 years later on a hiking trailAnd how TEFIC shaped her transformation from chaos → coherence → creationThis preview gives you the emotional appetizer before the full meal drops.🐬 Tap in, grow your mind, and don’t skip the foundation. Full episode coming soon.

On today’s episode of the Choose Yourself Channel, we sit down with the ageless OG himself - Greg Peck - the man who went from partying with the stars to training them, coaching them, and staying shredded longer than most people keep a New Year’s resolution. First time I met Greg, he asked me to spot him on 100-pound dumbbells and I had to check his birth certificate because the boy looks my age. This episode is about discipline, redemption, and the kind of self-honesty that punches you in the throat before it sets you free.Greg takes us from the streets of the Bronx to the music industry boardrooms, to personal training and transformational coaching. His story shows one truth: you cannot outrun your dark place .. you have to outgrow it. He talks about addiction, depression, racial tension in the industry, being fired, rebuilding, and discovering that the mental transformation matters even more than the physical.We break down the TEFIC pillars through Greg’s lived experiences — the domino trail from triggers → environment → foundation → investment → contribution. His mantra: “To thine own self be true.” His message: the sword doesn’t sharpen without heat. And life will keep throwing you in the fire until you stop melting and start forging.We talk:Outgrowing chaos without abandoning your authenticityThe difference between being propelled and being misguidedHow to actually hear your inner compassWhy you must heal before you “move on,” or you’ll revisit the same breaking point in a new environmentThe cost of comfort vs. the reward of disciplineWhy some people stay stuck and others sharpenWhat separates transformation from performanceUsing solitude as a spiritual training groundWhy fitness is emotional fitness firstGreg also drops gems on leadership, navigating toxic industries, and why self-discipline is the final form of self-respect. And yes, we talk about astrology, workout partners by zodiac sign, and how he ended up writing Training With the Stars before social media even knew what a “niche” was.If you’ve ever felt stuck, confused, or like life keeps handing you the same damn lesson in a new outfit… this episode is your mirror. Sharp. Honest. Necessary.Tune in. Take notes. Then take action. Your future self is waiting on you to choose yourself first .. not last.Resources & Reminders🐬 Join the Choose Yourself Community (CYC) — every Tuesday at 10 a.m. EST. Accountability, perspective, growth. 📘 Grab the book Choose Yourself to Be Chosen — Amazon & Barnes & Noble. 🧩 Start your foundation — 30-day & 90-day programs now open. 🧬 Gut Repair Solution — because your mood starts in your microbiome. 🎙️ Subscribe to the Choose Yourself Channel — new episodes weekly.

Abs don’t expire, they just change careers. 😂In this preview, I sit down with my guy Greg Pec- Bronx-bred, record-label VP, celebrity trainer, and transformation coach - to prove that discipline doesn’t have a retirement age and purpose doesn’t have an expiration date. We talk about surviving the streets, navigating racism in the music industry, getting fired and “propelled” into your calling, and why your sword (character) only gets sharp in the fire, not in your feelings. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re being pushed by fear or propelled by purpose, this convo is your mirror.⭐ From partying with the stars to training them and now coaching according to them ⭐ “To thine own self be true” as a real-life choose-yourself filter, not a Pinterest quote ⭐ How trigger points, breaking points, and turning points actually show up in real life ⭐ Why some people are sharpened by hardship while others stay stuck in victim mode ⭐ Discipline as the missing bridge between your potential and your actual lifestyle ⭐ How environment, ego, and screens can either dull your sword or refine it ⭐ The difference between being propelled into purpose vs. pushed by pressure ⭐ Why mentorship and coaching are the real shortcut (and not the fake quick fix)🎧 Tap into the full Choose Yourself Channel episode with Greg when it drops 🐬 Tap into the CYC Community every Tuesday at 10 a.m. EST to grow with us 📅 Tap into the Saturday Choose Yourself Webinar to learn the systems & resources#CYC #chooseyourself #motivation #love #growthmindset #accountability #selfdevelopment #podcastclips

On this episode of the Choose Yourself Channel, Hakeem sits down with Clarq : (artist, producer, writer, creator) and walking proof that your lowest chapter can become the foundation of your rise. She was raised by a 16-year-old mother, grew up in chaos, and faced the type of trauma most people never talk about: instability, financial struggle, physical and sexual abuse, fear, anxiety, depression, and the loss of her creative spark.Adulthood brought its own storm of overmedication, addiction, isolation, self-doubt .. until one day she realized:“Nothing outside of me is fixing what’s inside of me.”That’s when the real healing started. Not the pretty kind. The honest kind.This episode is part poetic storytelling, part comedy, part neuroscience, and full Choose Yourself philosophy. Hakeem and Clarq go deep into her transformation while still laughing at the absurdity of trying to selfie-angle your way out of trauma. Spoiler: you can’t.💥 What You’ll Hear in This Episode• Her journey from chaos to clarity Raised by a teenage mother, surviving unsafe environments, and learning how her story shaped her strength instead of her suffering.• When coping stops working Therapy, meds, avoidance and the moment everything resurfaced louder than before, forcing her to turn inward.• Her radical healing shift 90 days raw vegan. 8+ years plant-based. Meditation. Yoga. Water. Nature. Silence. Toe-in-the-grass spirituality. Small habits that pulled her out of the fog and helped her meet the real her.• TEFIC in real-time Hakeem breaks down how the Choose Yourself Process showed up in her life.• The dopamine disaster A hilarious, brutally honest breakdown of instant gratification (sugar, liquor, weed, porn, nicotine, gambling, scrolling) and how they fry your brain like carnival food.• People-pleasing & vocabulary detoxing Why everyone isn’t your “friend,” why everything isn’t “amazing,” and why using your strong words too often weakens your relationships.• Her 60-day self-designed learning journey A daily self-development curriculum that boosted her creativity, awareness, and confidence.. including the moment she heard her own song blasting in a stranger’s car.🐬 Tap in with ClarqIG: @clarq.music Creative blog & music: bttrsnc.com🚀 Your Choose Yourself Resources• CYC Zoom - Every Tuesday @ 10 a.m. EST Your accountability family.• Choose Yourself Webinar - Saturdays Learn TEFIC, gut health, story work, and the systems behind the movement.• 30-Day Speed Foundation Reset your habits and environment fast.• 90-Day Foundation Program Walk the full identity shift.• Book - Choose Yourself To Be Chosen -The philosophy behind the entire movement.

This 10–15 minute preview is your warm-up lap before the full conversation with Clarq drops and trust me, it’s a mix of comedy, chaos, raw truth, and those “damn… he’s talking about me” moments.Hakeem opens the episode in full Choose Yourself Channel fashion - loud, laughing, and roasting everything from your bad angles to your bad habits. He cracks jokes about rock bottom, skin care, fake dopamine, and the way we all try to selfie our way out of suffering. It’s hilarious… but it’s also the truth: you can’t filter your way out of your foundation.We touch on Clarq’s upbringing with a mother who had her at 16, the chaos she grew up in, and the patterns adult life forced her to confront. Not in a heavy way, but in the “we’ve all been through something, now let’s talk about how we turned it into something” way.Hakeem breaks down the TEFIC process in simple, funny, punch-you-in-the-face truth: your triggers repeat until you actually deal with them your environment exposes you your foundation saves you your investments shape you and your contribution is the real freedomThere’s laughter, there’s science, there’s a spiritual lesson somewhere between “brush your tongue” and “your dorsal cortex needs reps.” This preview gives you the vibe of the full episode — raw, relatable, revealing — without giving away all the gems.🎯 What This Preview Sets UpThis mini-episode gives you the funniest, most triggering, most relatable moments before the full interview drops. You’ll hear:the TEFIC breakdownself-awareness cravingshow healing actually workswhat Clarq did to rebuild her mindand the jokes y’all definitely weren’t ready forThe full episode goes deeper and hits harder — this preview is just the warm-up set before the heavy reps.🐬 Tap Into the MovementCYC ZOOM every Tuesday at 10 a.m. ESTChoose Yourself Webinar Saturdays30-Day & 90-Day Foundation programsChoose Yourself To Be Chosen (the book)CYC Retreats (2x a year)

Hakeem and Ashley dive deep into modern relationships through the lens of the TEFIC Process ( Triggers, Environment, Foundation, Investment & Contribution ) and how your internal world shapes every connection you enter.This episode is raw, funny, and uncomfortably honest. You’ll laugh, rethink your patterns, and question every “situation” you ever justified.Ashley specializes in helping people build healthy internal relationships ; the kind that keep you grounded, calm, emotionally aware, and able to love without abandoning yourself. Together, they break down:💥 The Self-Relationship Blueprint Why your relationship with yourself decides who you attract, what you tolerate, and how you show up in love.💥 Love Within vs. Love You ChaseIf you don’t develop love internally, you’ll overvalue temporary attention and undervalue real intimacy.💥 Friends, Identity & IndependenceWhy maintaining friendships OUTSIDE the relationship protects your sanity and your connection from codependency and emotional suffocation.💥 Opposite-Sex Friendships & BoundariesThe truth nobody wants to talk about: If they weren’t in your life before… why are they auditioning now? Ashley and Hakeem break down transparency, digital respect, emotional cheating, and the difference between honesty and loopholes.💥 Authenticity, Influence & Content CreationYour relationship doesn’t just exist offline.. it also lives in your posts, comments, DM habits, and online persona. They talk about how to show up authentically online without sabotaging what you’re building in real life.💥 TEFIC Applied to LoveT — Triggers: Partners don’t create your wounds; they reveal them.E — Environment: What you consume shapes how you connect.F — Foundation: Your routines determine your reactions.I — Investment: Healthy love requires time, presence, and emotional effort.C — Contribution: Real love gives from overflow, not exhaustion.This episode is for anyone navigating dating, healing, relationships, identity, or trying not to repeat the same cycle with a different face.🐬 Join the Movement:CYC every Tuesday at 10 a.m. EST — heal, grow, and build emotional discipline.30-Day Speed Foundation Program — reset your habits & internal relationship.90-Day Foundation Program — identity reconstruction through TEFIC.Book: Choose Yourself To Be Chosen — the blueprint for healing your story so you stop repeating it in love.

This quick 10-minute solo episode sets the stage for the full conversation with Ashley Maland. Hakeem breaks down the real relationship work: loving yourself before you expect anyone else to survive you.Topics include:Why the relationship you have with yourself shapes every relationship you enterLoving from overflow, not emotional overdraftFriends, boundaries, opposite-sex dynamicsHow your content + lifestyle becomes the environment your relationship lives in🔥 This is your warm-up for the full episode with Ashley - where the conversation gets deeper, funnier, and way more uncomfortable (in a good way).Tap in to the next episode for Hakeem's convo with Ashley Maland Grow with Ashely ⬇️Podcast : This is Where We HealAshley on IG🐬 Join the CYC every Tuesday at 10 a.m. EST - grow your mind, strengthen your identity, and heal the patterns that keep showing up in your relationships.

🔖 This episode is the final evolution. The moment where you stop performing for the world and start creating from the person you actually are not the persona you’ve been programmed to play.Most people are building a character for society but real contribution comes when you build a character for your soul. That’s the whole point of this pillar: Create & Contribute From an Overflow.💥 If you don’t choose who you’re becoming… your past will choose for you.In this raw and hilarious finale of the TEFIC process, Hakeem breaks down how your identity, discipline, healing, and environment all stack into the creation phase : the phase where purpose becomes public and authenticity becomes a strategy.We talk about how your story turns into service, how your scars turn into strategy, and how your authenticity hits harder than any aesthetic. He pulls from his own life (the setbacks, the disciplines, the healing work, the environments he had to escape) to show how contribution is not performance… it’s overflow.Expect truth. Expect laughter. Expect accountability that slaps your excuses in the face with affection.🔥 TEFIC — The Choose Yourself Process (Full Breakdown):T - Triggers: Face the patterns before the patterns erase your peace.E - Environment: Detox the toxins : food, people, places, playlists.F - Foundation: Your routine is the real religion. Consistency is the altar.I - Investment: Time, energy, money, discipline .. where you put it, you become it.C - Contribution: Give from overflow, not exhaustion. Create from the character you chose, not the character the world forced on you.🐬 Join the Movement:CYC Zoom Every Tuesday at 10 a.m. EST : accountability, mindset reps, innercise.Costa Rica Retreat : transformation in paradise (June 18th).Book: Choose Yourself To Be Chosen : the full blueprint for choosing your identity, your habits, and your life.30-Day Speed Foundation & 90-Day TEFIC Program : the systems that turn self-awareness into self-mastery.This episode hits the heart, the humor, and the honesty. If you’re ready to build a life from authenticity, alignment, and overflow - tap in.Contribution is not what you give the world… It’s what your evolution creates for the world.

In this episode, Big Dream Hakeem breaks down Pillar 4 of the Choose Yourself Process (TEFIC)Pillar 4 : Invest in Yourself Intentionally a.k.a. the art of putting your time, energy, and money where your future mouth is.We get into the uncomfortable truth: Most people don’t have a financial problem, they have a focus problem. They’re broke in discipline long before they’re broke in dollars.Hakeem breaks it all down with comedy, science, and a little holy side-eye:💥 Time Investment: You can’t say you want a new life when you spend your mornings cuddling with the snooze button. Your hours are a budget and half of us are overdrafting on distractions.⚡ Energy Investment: Energy is expensive. Stop giving free samples of your peace to people who drain you like emotional vampires that still live with their mom. Protect your vibe like it’s your SS number.💸 Resource Investment: If you can spend money getting lit but can’t invest in your growth, that’s not “can’t afford it”… that’s “I don’t prioritize it.” Your purpose is not Amazon Prime.. you can’t overnight success.🚫 The Hidden Investment: Elimination: Quitting sugar, weed, gossip, or your toxic ex is not punishment, it’s PROFIT. Every vice you drop increases your bandwidth, your confidence, and your brain cells.Throughout the episode, Hakeem shares moments from his own story- the late nights he traded for early mornings, the vices he killed to reclaim discipline, the investments he made that scared him but saved him.. proving that the ROI on self-respect is undefeated.🔥 Key Takeaways:Invest time where it compounds, not where it evaporates.Energy is a currency- spend it like you want receipts.Money is a tool - stop using it to numb your wounds.Elimination is a flex - subtracting is sometimes the real upgrade.You don’t need motivation - you need maintenance.Your future self is watching… and he’s judging you.This episode is raw, hilarious, and uncomfortably honest - the kind of truth that makes you audit your bank account, your friendships, and your browser history.🐬 Welcome to The Choose Yourself Channel ..where self-investment stops being optional and starts being oxygen.

In this episode, Big Dream Hakeem breaks down the unsexy secret to success ...your foundation! Everybody wants breakthrough but nobody wants bedtimes. You can’t pray for peace if your schedule looks like chaos. This is the realest construction zone on the internet- where we rebuild consistency, identity, and accountability brick by brick.💥 The Six Pillars of the Foundation:Curfew / Kick-Out Time – Because nothing godly happens after 11 p.m. but overthinking and DoorDash.Digital Sunset – Turn off the phone before it turns off your focus.Reading Bedtime – Your brain deserves better than blue light and booty reels.Wake-Up Time – If you hit snooze on purpose, that’s just spiritual procrastination.Morning Routine – Start your day on offense, not defense.First Obligation – Handle your priorities before your distractions handle you.⚙️ Hakeem breaks down the science of stability.. how your nervous system thrives on rhythm, not randomness and why your body can’t keep up with dreams your discipline won’t fund. He also drops the difference between your:Mini Foundation: When life’s chaotic, keep 3 pillars solid,survival mode.Full Foundation: All 6 firing... thriving mode.Recovery Foundation: For when your 20% fun gets a little too fun.🔥 You’ll also hear how the 90-Day Foundation Program helps you rebuild structure for long-term transformation, while the 30-Day Speed Foundation gives you the quick reboot to stop spiraling and start showing up again.And if you haven’t already grab the book Choose Yourself to Be Chosen and the Foundation Module inside the CYC Academy. Because truthfully? Your habits are either building your dreams or breaking your discipline. The foundation decides. 🧱🐬 Welcome to The Choose Yourself Channel - where healing comes with humor, and accountability hits harder than caffeine.#CYC #chooseyourself #motivation #accountability #discipline #transformation #growthmindset #foundation #community

SummaryIn this episode, Big Dream Hakeem gets real about the environments we marinate in : the foods, the feeds, the frequencies, and the fools. Most people don’t need a juice cleanse, they need a people cleanse.We’re talking about mindful consumption (from your gut to your group chat) and why detoxing from dysfunction is the real flex. Hakeem breaks down how your gut isn’t just digesting food, it’s digesting your feelings, your habits, and sometimes your ex’s drama.Self-Choice Layer : that sacred pause between your emotions and your next dumb decision. That’s where freedom lives because reacting is easy, but responding spiritual athletics. This one covers everything from dopamine addiction and delayed gratification to the art of celebrating without self-sabotaging. It’s funny, it’s triggering, and it’s real enough to make you side-eye your pantry and your playlist.💡 Takeaways (a.k.a. Truth Reps):🧠 Choose yourself and take accountability for your environment.💩 Your gut is your first brain and it’s tired of your excuses.⚡ The gap between emotion and action is where power lives.🔥 Detoxing isn't cute - it’s uncomfortable, necessary, and overdue.📱 Mindful consumption starts with muting chaos.👃 Your five senses are the five doors to your peace ..lock the ones that let toxins in.🧂 “Good mood food” isn’t just a quote .. it’s chemistry.⚖️ Balance isn’t boring ..it’s the only way to survive this simulation.🚭 Breaking free from addictions is how you make space for evolution.🐬 Listen now on The Choose Yourself Channel : where growth is hilarious, healing is uncomfortable, and your accountability coach just might roast your bad habits.

If you don’t face your triggers, you’ll just keep reenrolling in the same emotional class with a new teacher and a better outfit.In this episode, I break down Pillar 1 of the Choose Yourself Process: Recognize Your Trigger Points - the foundation of every glow-up that actually lasts. I use pieces of my own story to show how unhealed triggers turn into repeated breaking points… until you finally learn the lesson.You’ll walk away with the 3P Reflection Method and other practical ways to calm your ego before it starts its usual monologue.Raw truth. Real laughs. No spiritual bypassing. Just straight talk about how to stop letting your pain run the playlist.Welcome to The Choose Yourself Channel, where we turn triggers into teachers and healing into humor. 🐬

You can’t turn your pain into power if you keep sprinting from the source. Life keeps replaying the same lessons until you pass the test and this episode is your study guide.In this 10-minute talk, I open up about my story, the dark days, the losses, the lessons and how facing what broke you is the only way to rebuild what’s real.We’ll also touch on The Choose Yourself Process and list the five pillars that changed everything… but we’re saving the deep dive for the next five episodes.This one’s raw, hilarious, and unfiltered because healing isn’t pretty but it is powerful.Welcome to The Choose Yourself Channel, where your pain gets promoted and your excuses get fired. 🐬

Every glow-up starts with a breakdown you didn’t schedule. This 6-minute intro isn’t polishe.. it’s personal. Raw, real, and slightly unhinged (like all good beginnings).Welcome to The Choose Yourself Channel : where self-accountability meets stand-up comedy, and personal growth finally stops pretending to be perfect. 🐬In this 6-minute kickoff, Hakeem Bourne McFarlane keeps it honest, hilarious, and human. He breaks down what choosing yourself really means, why accountability hurts (but heals), and how losing yourself is the first step to finding peace, purpose, and discipline.Real talk. No filters. Just truth, laughter, and foundation.