The Shrink Think Podcast

Couples therapy isn’t about picking sides—it’s about creating balance. In this episode, Aaron and Nathan break down one of the most misunderstood aspects of couples counseling: what real balance actually looks like in the room. They explore why couples therapy is not individual therapy times two, and how effective therapy requires attention to three things at once: Each individual partner The dynamic between them The relationship itself They also unpack: Why both partners need to feel understood—even when they disagree How therapist bias (intentional or not) can shape outcomes When individual sessions can help—and when they create problems The role of transparency, trust, and avoiding triangulation Why fairness and emotional safety are critical for real progress If therapy starts to feel one-sided, something is off. The goal isn’t to prove who’s right—it’s to help both people feel seen, while strengthening the relationship as a whole. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/US2LfZpdS0I *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

A lot of people try therapy, do meaningful work, and then eventually step away—because life stabilizes, the “knot” loosens, and it feels like they can take it from there. And honestly, that’s often a healthy outcome. But then something shifts. A big life event hits (a car accident, a death in the family, a major transition), or something subtler starts repeating—your reactions feel outsized, your coping skills don’t seem to work the way they used to, or you notice an old pattern coming back online. In this episode, Aaron and Nathan talk through the most common signs it might be time to return to therapy—and how to do it without overthinking it. They normalize the reality that many people cycle in and out of therapy across different seasons of life. Not because therapy “failed,” but because life reveals deeper layers over time. You might be facing a new stressor your system hasn’t learned how to handle yet, or you’ve peeled back another layer of the onion and need an updated version of the skills you already built. They also address the quiet barriers that keep people from returning: worrying about what your therapist will think, feeling embarrassed that you’re “back again,” or convincing yourself you should be able to figure it out with self-help or AI. Aaron highlights the difference a real therapist can make in the room—especially the ability to notice tone, subtle shifts, and relational patterns that don’t show up in a prompt or a text box. You’ll also hear practical, relieving guidance: You don’t have to wait until you’re “stuck in a deep hole” to go back—earlier is often better Returning doesn’t mean recommitting for years; sometimes you only need a handful of sessions Going back to a prior therapist can save time because rapport is already there—and they can often help you adapt old tools to a new situation It’s also normal to choose a new therapist for a different perspective or a different modality (EMDR, IFS, etc.) If the thought “maybe I should go back” keeps tapping you on the shoulder… that might be the sign If you’ve done therapy before and you’re wondering whether it’s time to re-enter, this episode gives you a grounded framework: treat it like a tune-up, not a failure—and start with one session. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/H4LoFr1P98M *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

251. Envisioning Goals As Who I Want To Be by Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins

250. Skill Issue or Personality Difference by Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins

In this episode, Aaron and Nathan continue their two-part conversation on AI and therapy—this time getting practical. Rather than debating whether AI should be used, they start from a clear position: AI cannot replace therapy. But when used wisely, it can support and strengthen the therapeutic process. They explore how AI can function as a supplement to therapy—helping with normalization, psychoeducation, journaling, symptom tracking, and preparing for sessions—while also naming its clear limitations. You’ll hear why human therapy offers experiential knowledge, co-regulation, and real-time feedback that AI simply cannot replicate, and why screens can never replace being with another regulated human nervous system. This episode also dives into: The difference between informational knowledge and experiential healing When gaining more information helps—and when it actually increases anxiety How to use AI prompts intentionally to track patterns, not avoid emotions Ways AI can help you clarify what to bring into therapy Why skepticism, self-honesty, and boundaries matter when using AI How journaling, normalization, and skill-building can be enhanced (but not replaced) by AI If you’re already using AI—or considering it—this episode offers a grounded, human-centered framework for using it without outsourcing your healing. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/ayPgXJcvH1o *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

AI is everywhere right now—and it’s starting to show up in the therapy room, too. In this episode, Aaron and Nathan zoom out and wrestle with a big question that therapists, clients, and everyday humans are increasingly asking: should you use AI alongside therapy… or instead of it? This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation, focused more on the “big picture” and the philosophical/ethical tension points. We talk about why motivation matters (for both therapists and tech), how AI can become an echo chamber or a challenger depending on what you ask it to be, and why voice, tone, and attachment needs can shape how much we trust a tool. We also explore real-world ways people are already using AI to “double-check” their therapist, make predictions about relationships, and outsource thinking—along with the risks of losing critical thinking and personal responsibility when you hand too much over to a machine. We close with a practical framing: asking “Should I use AI?” can be like asking, “Should I hand this task to someone else, or is this something I need to do myself?” Next episode, we’ll get more practical about how to use AI wisely without replacing the human parts that actually heal. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/uGPQ-EC9tRs *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

In this follow-up to our episode on empathy, Aaron and Nathan shift the focus to compassion—what it is, how it’s different from empathy, and why it can be a more sustainable way of helping others without burning out. Compassion isn’t about getting swept up in someone else’s emotions or rushing them toward change. It’s about feeling for someone while staying grounded, holding both care and perspective at the same time. Using clinical examples, metaphors (including quicksand), and real therapy moments, this episode explores how compassion allows you to stay present, patient, and effective—without fusing, pushing, or losing yourself. You’ll hear: The core difference between feeling with someone (empathy) and feeling for someone (compassion) Why compassion includes intention, pacing, and respect for what someone can tolerate How helpers can accidentally rush healing—or want change more than the other person The role of boundaries, groundedness, and patience in real compassion Why compassion is often quieter, steadier, and more sustainable than empathy This episode is especially relevant for therapists, helpers, and caregivers—but it’s just as valuable for anyone who wants to support others well without overfunctioning or burning out. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Empathy is one of the most powerful tools in relationships—and in therapy. But if you’re not careful, it can also become one of the fastest paths to emotional exhaustion. In this episode, Aaron and Nathan kick off a two-part series on empathy vs. compassion, starting with a deep dive into empathy: what it is, why it works, and where it can quietly go sideways—especially for therapists, helpers, and highly attuned people. You’ll learn: -Why empathy can feel like being “swept away” into someone else’s emotions -How empathy reduces loneliness and helps people feel truly seen -The hidden risks: distress contagion, countertransference, and vicarious activation -Why too much empathy (without boundaries) can contribute to burnout over time -How to use empathy intentionally—attune, validate, anchor, and then help movement happen If you care deeply about people but sometimes feel drained, fused, or overwhelmed by others’ pain, this episode will help you stay connected without getting pulled under. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/J22KHvV7WWE *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Overthinking isn’t the same thing as “thinking deeply.” In this episode, Aaron and Nathan unpack what overthinking actually is, how it feeds anxiety, and why it often turns small decisions into exhausting, paralyzing spirals. They break down the overthinking loop (thought → anxiety → more thinking to relieve anxiety → more anxiety), and offer practical questions to interrupt it—like identifying what you’re truly worried about, what outcome you’re trying to control, and whether you’re chasing perfection instead of a workable decision. You’ll also hear why action is often the antidote (not more analysis), how learning to tolerate discomfort and disappointment changes everything, and how operating from your values—rather than trying to guarantee outcomes—creates more confidence, freedom, and peace. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

What does it actually mean to be vulnerable? Is it the same as being transparent? And where do emotions fit in? In this episode of The ShrinkThink Podcast, licensed professional counselors Aaron and Nathan break down the often-confused differences between transparency, vulnerability, and sharing emotions—and why misunderstanding them can quietly block intimacy, connection, and growth in your relationships. You’ll learn: -Why being transparent doesn’t automatically create closeness -How vulnerability invites connection (and risk) in a way transparency doesn’t -How you can share emotions without being vulnerable—and be vulnerable without sharing emotions -Why some personality styles (including Enneagram types) default to transparency as protection -Practical ways to practice transparency, vulnerability, and emotional sharing with safe people If you’ve ever felt like you’re “open” but still not truly known—or frustrated that emotional conversations don’t seem to deepen relationships—this episode will give you language, clarity, and next steps. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

People often think that being “nice” means you will be “safe” in the world, and others won’t hurt you or take advantage of you. Unfortunately, being nice is often a people-pleasing tendency that seeks to pacify what we believe others want at the expense of our needs, honesty, and healthy relationship. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/US2LfZpdS0I *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

You can’t change the world around you but when YOU change, the world around you begins to adjust. As you get healthier, set better boundaries, and become more peaceful, your world will become calmer, safer, and more positive. Bad things will still happen, because that’s a part of life, but the world around you will always be a reflection of what’s in you. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/rfW6A0s1PBQ *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Going to therapy is about self-exploration and self-understanding. You learn more about yourself as your therapist reflects you back to yourself. If you’re focused on trying to earn your therapist’s approval by being a “good client,” then you’re missing the point and not getting what you need out of therapy. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Can psychology and spirituality play nice together? Many people believe they cannot mix but we argue they can - and should. Whether a client wants to involve their spiritual beliefs or not, therapy should make space for it without forcing it upon anyone so this important part of life can be addressed. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/5lHC5hMRxTM *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Without advocating for or against medication, we address the importance of understanding how it can play a part in the direction therapy goes. As therapists, we don’t need to know as much as prescribers (Primary Care Docs or Psychiatrists) do, but we should be familiar with medication so therapy can include this critical piece of the puzzle. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/itDFsJHafXg *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Saying “I’m fine” to people when asked how you’re doing, may not be the emotionally honest answer. Sure, there are times and places to give a socially acceptable answer. But with people close to you, this answer blocks connection and prevents closeness in relationships. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/US2LfZpdS0I *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

If there’s something in your life you keep doing that it’s healthy and you know you need to change but can’t seem to get started, this episode is for you. We often cling to unhealthy patterns because they’re familiar and changing means walking into the unknown-which is hard to do! Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/sheCzwfPVY0 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

If you’ve ever thought you’re too much, crazy, too boring, or too dumb when you share with your therapist, you might have a specific wound that the therapeutic relationship an help heal. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/US2LfZpdS0I *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Amber Drake is a current graduate student attending UH at Hilo, studying clinical mental health counseling and graduating in May 2025. She’s doing an internship at Aloha House, a partial hospitalization program, volunteers with NAMI Maui, sits on the state board of directors with NAMI Hawaii, is a NAMI Maui affiliate leader, and is certified as a youth mental health first aid instructor. Amber sat down with us to share her story about how NAMI helped her recover from mental illness, which led her to a career in the mental health field and active participation with the organization that helped her. Nat'l Alliance on Mental Illness: https://www.nami.org/ Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Many people go to therapy because they struggle to feel emotions. Intellectualizing problems is a common way of coping with overwhelming feelings, but it prevents you from feeling. If this is you, here's what you can do about it. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/gH1-rKsXj30 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Going to therapy every week is a great thing, but what makes it effective is when you practice something different between sessions toward meaningful change. We discuss some reasons why you might struggle with doing the work outside the therapy office, and what you can do to address this with your therapist. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/HSpRej2Pze4 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

When you decide to go to therapy, it's usually because you've recognized something has become problematic in your life and it needs to change. Bringing this to a therapist for help is a good start, but assuming the therapist knows what you need can prevent you from taking ownership of your needs and directing sessions to meet your needs best. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

The purpose of therapy is to learn more about yourself so you can make meaningful changes - to “get better.” Sometimes there are obstacles that can get in the way of that process, from both the therapist or the client. The right combination should be help you make progress, even if it takes some time to get there. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/cWs0lKBfyF8 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Some people view therapy as a “product” that can be “consumed” at any location, while others view it as a “service” that requires more of a “specialist.” Neither is right or wrong, but knowing what is being sought in therapy can help the client and therapist get on the same page and work together toward the same goals. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/JCv4p2cAuow *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

When you can give yourself compassion and tolerate your own emotional experiences, you can hold space for others and be present with their emotional experiences. This is a great skill that can transform your relationships and move conversations to what the real issues are. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/oDc_qXREIWk *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Why do some people just “talk talk talk” in a monologue in therapy? It could be that this kind of verbal processing is what they need to explore and understand what it is they think or feel, and the space given by a therapist facilitates it. If you’re not sure, having a conversation between therapist and client about this dynamic can help both of you understand each other and work together best. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: Visit our YouTube Channel *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

The second and most destructive of the four “horseman” that the Gottmans identify as a relationship killer is contempt. Contempt involves taking a one-up position of superiority and shaming the other person. The antidote to contempt is a culture of appreciation in the relationship. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/QmOqghcAoOU *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

The fourth and final of the Gottman “horsemen” is stonewalling-withdrawing and disengaging from the conversation to build a kind of “wall” between you and your partner. This usually comes from physiological overwhelm called “flooding,” where the stonewaller shuts down and chooses to disengage. The antidote to stonewalling is taking time to calm down and re-engaging. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/pZxY1vhhWlU *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

The third “horseman” of the relational apocalypse is defensiveness, usually as a response to criticism. Defensiveness is a form of self-protection from a perceived attack, usually from a place of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood. The antidote to defensiveness is accepting responsibility for your role in the conflict or situation. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

John & Julie Gottman founded the Love Lab at the UW in Seattle, WA which can predict with 94% accuracy whether a couple will stay together based on observing the first several minutes of their argument. The Gottmans discovered four relationship killers called “the four horsemen”; the first one being criticism. Criticism is when you attack the person or character rather than address the behaviors. The relationship antidote to criticism is a soft startup. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/2PUwgGAViUE *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Do you know the difference between arguing and discussing? Conflict in a relationship will require some conversation about it, and we want to make sure you’re discussing issues with the goal of understanding one another. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/ePD6xFpJ_f4 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

When someone you care about is struggling and needs help, it can be difficult to talk with them about considering therapy. Here are some suggestions about what to say, and what not to say, in that delicate conversation to encourage someone to talk with a therapist. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/BY1wdYcg_ts *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Guest Tory Krone, a counselor and entrepreneur, talks about focusing on the present over the past using ACT to make practical changes. She encourages people to get curious first about themselves then about others, in order to improve relationships. In this interview, she describes her clinical process of "mapping" people's experiences as well as her passion for helping group counseling practices gather data to better help clients. Tory Krone is a seasoned licensed clinical therapist with 15 years of experience spanning therapeutic practice and leadership roles across all levels of care. She is the founder and managing director of a successful group therapy practice in Chicago. In 2023, driven by a passion for making things easier on group practice owners, Tory collaborated with her husband and two other family members to create a custom dashboard tailored to the specific needs of her practice. This project led to the co-founding of PracticeVital, the first-ever automated dashboard designed to offer real-time insights into the health of therapy practices and to empower teams with actionable data. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/ytUv6UF62T8 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Therapists are people with personality traits. Extroverted therapists, for example, can be easy to connect with, be good communicators, and give helpful feedback. They may also need to be more intentional about holding space for clients without interruption, ask more questions than offering answers, and be patient with the process and allow people to come to their own conclusions. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@shrink-think *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Therapists are people with personality traits. Introverted therapists, for example, can be great listeners, ask good questions, and hold space for people to share. They may also need to be more intentional about asserting themselves, be aware of the conversational balance with clients, and give feedback or challenge people - which may be uncomfortable for many introverts. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/CysnjQptGpg *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Have you defined a period of your life by a single (negative) event? Does that event taint the rest of that time period or season? If so, you might need to reclaim or redeem that season. Learn how to identify the way you might have defined your season too negatively, as well as what to do about it to reclaim that part of your life. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/DYc_X8Klg0k *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

In this final episode, Dr. David Niyonzima, an ambassador for healing in the African country of Burundi, finishes his story about bringing healing - not treatment - to the people of his country and spreading this message of healing internationally. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

In this second of three episodes, Dr. David Niyonzima, an ambassador for healing in the African country of Burundi, continues his story about how he escaped genocide and discovered "mental health" which he later brought back to his country for people like him who had experienced trauma. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: (coming soon on our YouTube channel) *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

In this first of three episodes, we sit down with Dr. David Niyonzima, an ambassador for healing in the African country of Burundi. He shares the history of tribalism and genocide in the country, as well as how he was personally impacted which put his life on a course to pursue healing for trauma. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/PW_e-Qdt8mM *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Generally, in long-term loving and committed relationships, sexual differences begin to appear. Nathan breaks this down for men and for women, as well as what can be done to better accept these to improve your relationship. Note that we are educational, not explicit with regard to the topic. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/DaISmlnEQYc *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Using a list of Universal Human Needs, which everyone has, we discuss the importance of knowing your needs and how they make you - and others - known. When you know your feelings AND the needs that are associated with them, you can better meet them and be a healthier, more stable person. It also means you can better see and meet the needs of others in relationships. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/KiejsgzNg70 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Assessments in therapy sound boring. They’re not! Let us surprise you! We explain why a good assessment, in the first couple of sessions of therapy, is important to everything else that happens - including the effectiveness and direction of your treatment. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/pleMt6gW2yg *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

How do you know if therapy is good? We discuss some good indicators that your therapy is quality, beyond the basic “my therapist is warm and empathetic.” Our hope is that you can be better informed to make a good decision about your therapy, or if you’re a therapist, you can be reminded of what people need in order for therapy to be effective. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/pr-WdtzIOjk *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Part 2 of 2. There is a common dynamic in marriage where a passive husband does not contribute like his wife needs him to, which causes her to “over function.” When she tries to talk to him to get more initiation from him, he often shuts down or says he will help but then doesn’t. This “pursue-and-withdraw” pattern can be tricky! In this episode, we focus on the passive husband: why he shuts down and what he needs to do to change his side of the equation. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/ZAvQzHe7OkU *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Part 1 of 2. There is a common dynamic in marriage where a passive husband does not contribute like his wife needs him to, which causes her to “overfunction.” When she tries to talk to him to get more initiation from him, he often shuts down or says he will help but then doesn’t. This “pursue-and-withdraw” pattern can be tricky! In this episode, we focus on the unsupported wife: what she feels and needs to do to change her side of the equation. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/ONVTBlVdbVs *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

This is a re-release of a popular episode we recorded way back in 2021. We’ve been introducing more IFS content and thought it would be helpful to “bump” this informative episode but with a fresh coat of paint! Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

You’ve heard the saying “you can’t give away what you don’t already have for yourself.” We unpack that, using Love as an example, to show you that being patient, kind, and humble with yourself is not only NOT selfish but is the epitome of “self-love.” And when you love yourself like this, you can more authentically love others. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/QpkUH6AUQEg *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

We’ve introduced Internal Family Systems and described it, and thought it would be helpful to hear it demonstrated. Aaron offers himself as a client for Nathan as his IFS therapist, focusing on a “performing/achieving” part of Aaron’s system. Listen/watch to experience IFS more in-depth. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/4oZ6MrAs1FI *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

As therapists, we often hear the version of life our clients tell us without realizing there may be another version that’s very different. When a client brings in their significant other and those versions vary drastically, we get to see it in real time-and it can be shocking! We hope this episode helps you realize there’s another side of your story so you can be open to it and even seek it out. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/Xh89X_DQ8d4 *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

If you’ve been with people who are emotionally closed off then meet someone who is open, it can feel like availability but it’s not. You can be emotionally open but not available for your partner in a relationship. We break down the difference between these three and give examples to help you understand so you can hopefully work toward the healthiest version of yourself and your relationship. Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business. *Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/eTzWP5drtCQ *Now on YouTube: @shrink-think *Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at: https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast -------------- *Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network* https://psychcraftnetwork.com/