All Episodes
Kentucky Fried Critics — 161 episodes
"Is there a part in there for me?" | Pauly Shore is Dead
"We're not vigilantes." | Ring of the Musketeers
"You know, a million dollars doesn't buy all that much these days." | Blank Check
"After fifteen years, we're finally rescued!" | Rescue from Gilligan's Island
"A web would indicate an arachnoid presence." | Arachnophobia
"Wait till he goes to the bathroom." | Man's Best Friend
"Sanka, ya dead?" | Cool Runnings
"Now you're the biggest idiot on two planets." | RocketMan (1997)
"Stupid is as stupid does." | Forrest Gump
"Dude, volcanic!" | Adventures in Dinosaur City
"When my Grandfather died, all I got was a sweater." | Little Big League
"We don't need no stinking badgers." | UHF
"I'll sic my dog on you" | Cujo
"It'd be a lot cooler if you did" | Dazed and Confused
"Oh, Rat Fart!" | Caddyshack
"Send...More...Paramedics" | The Return of the Living Dead
"The person who handed you this card is under the care of a prescription puppet" | The Beaver
"They're real bad metal" | Omega Doom
"Sir, it's moving!" | The Peanut Butter Solution
"Tell him about the Twinkie." | Ghostbusters
"Dad, he's not an animal!" | Harry and the Hendersons
"California!" | The Wizard
"Wurry Burry" | The Chipmunk Adventure
"You're endangering me." | The Upstairs Neighbor
"Myy brother, the poolman." | In The Army Now | Kentucky Fried Critics | S 3 E 28
"Facing your fear doesn't always conquer it." | Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan
"We're the reasons why brothers hate their sisters!" | Little Monsters
"I have to push the pram a lot." | Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"I got a date with a soap on a rope." | Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood
"Prodigious!" | October Sky | Kentucky Fried Critics
"But in the failing light, they can't focus." | Reign of Fire
"I pledge of allegiance... to the band" | School of Rock
"I'll show you my cannelloni." | Grumpier Old Men
"The bend and snap, works every time." | Legally Blonde
Cultin' 2: Eclectic Interview | A follow up interview with Wes Clark, Writer/Director of How to Start a Cult in 5-Easy Steps
"Every cult worth it's salt has a compound." | How to Start a Cult in 5-Easy Steps
"I might know everything. Ask me something!" | Year One
"Throwing a party it's like... it's like an invitation for abuse." | 200 Cigarettes
"We're gonna have the hap hap happiest Christmas" | National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
"Come around with your husband, we'll have a blizzard!" | The Year Without A Santa Claus
"I made my family disappear." | Home Alone
"Just you, the music, and the pit." | Moshpit Mayhem
"I am one with the Yuletide, know what I mean?" | Ernest Saves Christmas
"You've gotta think to shrink, so you've gotta know to grow!" | Mother Goose Rock n' Rhyme
"A machine becomes human when you can't tell the difference anymore." | D.A.R.Y.L.
"My friends and I want to see a naked lady." | Milk Money
"No, that's a fruit bat from the Philippines." | Saturday the 14th
"So, what were you gonna be when you grew up?" | Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives
"Do you want some of my chocolate bar?" | Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning
"Hey, Ted, where the hell is the carkscrew?" | Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
"May I please have the wallet, Ma'am?" | Friday the 13th Part 3
"Stand by for Justice!" | American Graffiti
"You need to invent your own penis-showin' game" | Waiting...
"It's been a nonstop moronathon!" | Bio-Dome
This week on a "very special episode"...
"Holy Shatner!" | Stay Tuned
"Although, some money would be nice" | Almost Famous
“Sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room” | Nacho Libre
"Are you too good for your home?" | Happy Gilmore
"Goonies never say die" | The Goonies AKA Episode 100
"She was a good ship" | Explorers
"THERE IS NO RENEWAL!" | Logan's Run
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." | The Usual Suspects
"I reckon it's a small hog." | The Beverly Hillbillies
"There's energy in chocolate." | The Bad News Bears
"I have a feeling we're about to embark on a most unprecedented expedition." | Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
"You're gonna need a bigger boat." | Jaws
"Jason's out there... watching..." | Friday the 13th Part 2
"...one must always choose the lesser of two weevils." | Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
"Yeah I call him Flushles, the Toilet Cleaning Clown..." | Dead Man on Campus
"Oh, marshmallow!" | Adventures in Wonderland
"There's no crying in baseball!" | A League of Their Own
"Women weaken legs!" | Rocky
"Toto is not a monster!" | Gamera the Brave
"Funky Buttloving" | Rookie of the Year
"Abba-zaba, you my only friend" | Half Baked
"It's just you and me now, sport" | Manhunter
"What's in the basket?" | Basket Case
"There's two of everyone in there" | Big Business
"We're gonna be down here for a very long time" | 10 Cloverfield Lane
"Kinda hot in these rhinos..." | Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
"Are you a man or an amoeba?" | Dead Poets Society
"There's only eight percent of the population that's, like, highly hypnotizable" | Stir of Echoes
"Break yourself!" | Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
"That rug really tied the room together" | The Big Lebowski
"There's a great future in plastics." | The Graduate
"You're just not thinking fourth dimensionally!" Back to the Future Part 3
"Are you telling me that you built a time machine out of a DeLorean?" | Back to the Future
"But you are a flyer, not a faller" | The Land Before Time
"There's no fate but what we make for ourselves" | Terminator 2: Judgment Day
"Will you be my Clarence?" | It's a Wonderful Knife
"And they call him, Sandy... Clawssss...!" | The Nightmare Before Christmas
"I'm just trying to spread a little yuletide FEAR!" | Santa's Slay
"It ain't all candy canes and pretty lights" | Silent Night (2012)
"They're my family now" | Black Christmas (2006)
"I'm not here to fight. I'm here to play soccer!" | Shaolin Soccer
"This definitely has applications in the field of sports" | Flubber
"I guess we all do unexpected things sometimes, don't we?" | Gleaming the Cube
"I thought you'd never...axe!!!" | Thankskilling 3
"Beware the moon, lads" | An American Werewolf in London
"You're doomed! You're all doomed!" | Friday the 13th
"Don't expect it to tango" | Re-Animator
"Don't go chasing nursery rhymes" | Dr. Giggles
"Are you not entertained?" | Gladiator
"You're making me angry" | Ang Lee's Hulk
"History is all in the mind of the teller" | Radio Flyer
"I'm in a situation I can't begin to explain" | Four Rooms
"No celebrities, no cable TV, no water" | Tank Girl
"HACK THE PLANET!" | Hackers
A reminder we're still here
"Never give up. Never surrender" | Galaxy Quest
"If I was a young fella like you, I'd be mounting every woman in Wabasha" | Grumpy Old Men
"Well, they're safer than a tube sock..." | American Pie
"Where we're going, we don't need roads" | Back to the Future Part II
"You're supposed to say 'go' in karate" | Lake Placid
"And we are the ones who bump back" | Hellboy
"This sort of thing is my bag baby" | Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
"Do I look like an ichthyologist to you?" | Bubba Ho-Tep
"I'm just a mean green mother from outer space" | The Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
"You know my father was a punk" | SLC Punk 2: Punk's Dead
"We're just one big ol' thermonuclear family" | Wilder Napalm
"It will randomly work out!" | The Ladies Man
"Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" | High Fidelity
"Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh did I ever leave Ohio?" | Back to the Beach
"If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price" | Point Break
"Whip me, beat me, take away my charge cards... NASA is talking!" | SpaceCamp
"In the world of kung fu, speed determines the winner" | Kung Fu Hustle
"They're having tuna salad for lunch! Tuna salad for LUNCH!" | Jury Duty
"At least I got to be on TV" | Snake Eyes
"You only meet your once in a lifetime friends... once in a lifetime" | The Little Rascals
"He's most disagreeable and he has irritated me" | Hercules in New York
"Information without transportation equals dick" | The Stoned Age
"Great, the school gets taken over by terrorists and I'm still on pots and pans" | Toy Soldiers
"One nation, invisible, with liberty and Christmas for all" | Spirit of '76
"When a man cannot choose he ceases to be a man" | A Clockwork Orange
"I'm not a geek, I'm a unique weasel" | Encino Man
"Today is tomorrow" | Groundhog Day
"If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy" | The Breakfast Club
"We can do a hell of a lot more damage in the system than outside of it" | SLC Punk!
"Mother, we're watching The Corny Collins Show" | HAIRSPRAY
"Now you're playing with power, SUPER POWER!" | Super Nintendo special
"Looks like a no go on the 'Tendo" | 8-Bit Christmas
"I never liked a girl well enough to give her 12 sharp knives" | Scrooged
"Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing" | The Santa Clause
"You are obviously a nonconformist and a rebel!" | Santa Claus is Comin' to Town
"Woah! Nothing like waiting for the last minute, Howitzer" | Jingle All the Way
"Well, that was absurd, let's eat dead bird!" | Home for the Holidays
"Majored in karate for two semesters" | Son in Law
"Because I'm 15,000 cheeseburgers ahead of you in life" | Dutch
"I'm gonna drink your blood like cranberry sauce, meanie!" | Thankskilling
"You are the great redneck hope!" | Ernest Scared Stupid
"That plant is the vampire of the vegetable kingdom" | Nosferatu/Type O-Negative
"Don't you just hate it when somebody that was supposed to be dead comes back to kill you?" | Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead
"That old woman scares the piss out of me!" | Pumpkinhead
"SEGA does what Nintendon't" | SEGA special
"It's my first ray gun" | Star Trek: First Contact
"We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams" | Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
"I'm half human, on my mother's side" | Doctor Who: The Movie
"Daddy would have gotten us Uzis" | Night of the Comet
"Heroes get remembered, but legends never die" | The Sandlot
Intro