Real Adult Wisdom-Live In Confidence

In Episode 1 of the Life 2.0 series, Becky Shaffer opens the door to the honest, raw, and deeply human experience of starting over in midlife. This episode is not about having it all figured out. It is about what happens when the life you built shifts, the roles you played begin to fall away, and you are left asking, “Who am I now?”Through empty nesting, heartbreak, loss, healing, and reinvention, Becky connects the heart of Life 2.0 with the message behind her book, The Why Not Me? Concept: that starting over is not failure. It may be the first time you are finally choosing yourself.This episode is for the woman who has survived, adjusted, carried, rebuilt, and kept going — but now feels called to live differently.

Becky Shaffer, author of The Why Not Me? Concept and Solari, author of The Sacred Undoing, bring raw, honest conversations to the podcast as they sit down with guest Paula Mathias, author of Speak Up. Together, they unpack why so many women struggle to advocate for themselves, the conditioning that keeps women silent, and the powerful steps women can take to reclaim their voice in their careers, relationships, and lives.To get more information on Paula: website:paulamathias.com IG and TikTok: @Paulamathiasauthor Speak Up book: https://a.co/d/ied9FJR

In this episode of Real Adult Wisdom, we’re talking about what actually has to shift neurologically before your habits, boundaries, confidence, and clarity can shift in real life.Dr. Lisa Riegel has spent over two decades studying how the brain drives behavior, and more importantly, how we can work with it instead of constantly fighting against it.She’s an educator, researcher, author, and someone who deeply understands that fulfillment, whether in a classroom, a workplace, or a relationship. Her information can be found at: www.lisariegel.comAlso, all podcasts, blogs, and to order "The Why Not Me? Concept," you can go to www.liveinconfidence.com for all of Becky's information.

We are excited to have Kim Costa, AS FEATURED on HGTV, ABC, Atlanta Magazine, and Opeal, join our show. Growth isn’t just about mindset; it’s about alignment. When your living environment doesn’t match who you’re becoming, your body feels it first. On Real Adult Wisdom, we’re exploring how aligning your space, routines, and daily life with your soul creates real, sustainable change—not just motivation.

“What if card reading wasn’t magic—but a mirror? On Real Adult Wisdom, we explore tarot, intuition, and personal growth in a real, grounded way. No hype. Just reflection, awareness, and the courage to ask better questions. Tune in.”

In this episode of Real Adult Wisdom, we sit down with Dr. Lee for a thoughtful discussion on education, systems, and student-centered learning. Drawing from lived experience and professional insight, the conversation explores how education can better recognize diverse pathways, support real-world readiness, and respond to the needs of students, families, and educators. While perspectives may differ on specific approaches, this episode is grounded in respectful dialogue, curiosity, and a shared commitment to improving outcomes for those within the education system.

When change is rooted in self-rejection, it becomes a form of punishment rather than growth. Growth that starts in shame rarely lasts. (And Why Shame Is a Terrible Life Coach) Let’s start with a hard truth:Most people don’t fail at change because they lack discipline. They fail because they try to build a better life on top of self-rejection. And self-rejection is not a strong foundation. It’s quicksand…Every January, the same ritual plays out. We declare war on parts of ourselves.

This episode of Real Adult Wisdom is not about overnight success or perfectly packaged stories. Becky Shaffer and Deborah Yager come together to speak candidly about where they began, what they endured, and how they built their lives one piece at a time. There were doubts, detours, setbacks, and moments when quitting would have been easier—but they didn’t. They are self-made, but not untouched by struggle. This conversation goes beneath titles and accomplishments and into the real work of becoming: choosing yourself, rebuilding after loss, pushing forward without certainty, and learning to trust your own voice when no one else is cheering yet. If you’ve ever wondered whether your past disqualifies you from the life you want, this episode is for you.

Tonight feels special. I’m sitting down with Scott Neff, and together we’re talking openly about what it really takes to write a book—the fear, the healing, the courage, and the moments that cracked us open. This isn’t just about the pages we wrote. It’s about the lives we lived to write them.

Jen Hendershott, world champion athlete, coach, and now author — "Life In One Shott", bringing raw honesty, resilience, and real-life wisdom. Becky Shaffer, educator, coach, podcast host, founder of www.liveinconfidence.com, and author of "The Why Not Me? Concept", a transformative book on healing, worthiness, and reinvention. Together, they sit down to talk about what it means to grow up in a small town with big dreams, how life’s hardest seasons shaped their purpose, why healing, identity, and reinvention matter now more than ever, and how two women from one hometown became two voices of hope for anyone craving a new chapter isn’t just a conversation. It’s a collision of courage, lived experience, and truth.

We all know the script: Holidays are supposed to feel warm, familiar, and comforting. We see it on the Hallmark movies, we hear it in the carols. But what happens when that script no longer matches your reality? Perhaps your life has undergone a significant change—a divorce, a profound loss, a major relocation, or an unexpected shift in identity. When that happens, the holidays no longer feel like a cozy blanket. They can feel like grief wrapped in glitter. Tonight, we are tackling this head-on: Nothing is wrong with you if the holidays don't feel the same anymore. In fact, that's completely normal."

Endings have a way of shaking everything we thought we knew about ourselves—our roles, relationships, routines, and identity. In this episode, Becky Shaffer dives into the emotional and psychological terrain of reinvention seasons—those in-between chapters when who you were no longer fits, and who you are becoming isn’t fully clear yet.We explore what it really means when:An identity endsA role dissolvesA relationship shiftsA version of you expiresIf you’ve been feeling unsteady, disconnected, or unsure of your next step, you’re not broken—you’re in a transition.This episode offers:✨ A grounded understanding of why reinvention feels so destabilizing✨ The hidden grief inside life changes✨ How to release who you were without losing who you are✨ A practical tool to help you move through endings with clarity instead of collapseThis is for the one who’s asking, “Who am I now?”And learning how to answer with courage.

The holidays can feel magical… but they can also magnify the cracks we work so hard to hide.Grief doesn’t just come from loss through death — it shows up in endings, distance, changed traditions, kids growing up, and the versions of ourselves we had to let go.Tonight, we’re talking about the hidden spaces of holiday grief — the ones no one warns you about but so many of us live through.If this season feels heavy, layered, or complicated… you are not alone.

Ambition can be a coping mechanism. Many of us were taught to achieve our way into worthiness, to produce our way into safety. So we become leaders, healers, entrepreneurs, top students—pushing ourselves to excel while abandoning our own bodies and inner child in the process. Beneath the applause is often anxiety, emotional exhaustion, loneliness, and a deep longing to be seen beyond what we do. We've learned that suffering doesn’t always look like struggle—it can look like success. And our work invites people to finally exhale, feel again, and begin the sacred undoing of everything they thought they had to be.

In this deeply honest episode of Real Adult Wisdom, Becky sits down with author Pete Colter for a raw and unfiltered conversation about mental illness, survival, and the art of turning suffering into story.Pete opens up about his lifelong battles with manic depression, the surgeries that shaped his childhood, and the trauma that nearly broke him — and how writing became both his refuge and his revolution. Together, Becky and Pete explore the moment where survival shifts into healing, and where the question “Why me?” slowly becomes “Why not me?”If you’ve ever struggled with mental health, identity, or the weight of your own past… this episode will remind you that you’re not alone, your story matters, and your voice deserves to be heard.Tune in for truth. Stay for transformation.

Tonight on Real Adult Wisdom: SOLARI and I continue The Rise & Rewrite Series with a powerful conversation on Identity Shattering as Initiation. We’re talking about the moments that break us open—burnout, betrayal, illness, divorce, or spiritual awakening—and how they become the doorway into who we’re meant to be.If you’ve ever felt your life fall apart so something truer could begin, this episode is for you.

Becky and SOLARI come together for an empowering conversation filled with practical tools for healing and self-growth.Two women, two powerful stories, and two transformative books — sharing the lessons, lived experiences, and insights that shaped their journeys. This series pulls back the curtain on what it really takes to rewrite your story, rise from what broke you, and step into the life you’re meant to live.

This podcast is for the person who survived, the person who carried the weight, the person who learned to be strong because life left them no other choice — and who is now ready for something more.Hosted by author Becky Shaffer, who turned their pain into purpose, this show blends real, raw storytelling with empowering tools for growth. Through personal experiences, healing conversations, and insights from The Why Not Me? Concept, we explore what happens when you stop living in survival mode and begin to evolve into who you were always meant to be.

Today, we’re diving into the beautiful, brutal, and often misunderstood world of forgiveness because forgiveness is not one-size-fits-all. It comes in many forms. Join Becky Shaffer and Leslie Brooks as they dive deep and share personal stories of forgiveness.

Becky Shaffer and Leslie Brooks are back on Real Adult Wisdom for another powerful conversation—this time, diving deeper into “Boundaries.”Becky Shaffer and Leslie Brooks are back on Real Adult Wisdom for another powerful discussion—this time, diving deeper into “Boundaries.”These two dynamic life coaches break it all down: Why we struggle to set them, how somatic awareness plays a role, and what it looks like to enforce boundaries like a badass (without guilt) . Tune in for truth bombs, laughter, and the kind of real talk that helps you stop over-explaining and start owning your space. Because boundaries aren’t walls—they’re bridges back to yourself.

Today we’re talking about something we all do—but don’t always recognize: carrying the past into the present like an overstuffed emotional carry-on. Whether it’s childhood wounds, relationship trauma, or that one rejection in seventh grade that still stings… the past doesn’t always stay in the past.  There are Triggers that brings it out of that bag.  So let’s open the bag and see what we’re lugging around—and how to finally set some of it down.

Today, we’re diving into the good, the bad, and the “Are you kidding me?” moments—the ones that cracked us open, called us higher, and forced us to grow in ways we never saw coming.These are the moments that don’t always make sense when they happen… The moments that leave us breathless, heartbroken, or humbled—but become the turning points we didn’t realize we needed.The good reminds us of what’s possible. The bad teaches us resilience. And the “Are you kidding me?” moments? Those are the ones that throw us off script, flip the table, and whisper, “You're not who you used to be—and that’s a good thing.”Whether it’s a breakup that gutted you, a detour that turned out to be divine, or a season of stillness that made you confront your reflection, you’re not the same person you were before.And you shouldn’t be.

"We grew up learning math, history, how to parallel park... but no one handed us a real guide for relationships. No one sat us down and said, 'Here’s how you recognize healthy love. Here’s how you set a boundary without guilt. Here's how you survive heartbreak without losing yourself.' ""So today, we’re starting that conversation. This is about unlearning the myths we absorbed, rewriting the stories we've carried, and learning to love — starting first with ourselves.""Because real love? It’s not about perfection. It’s about presence. It’s about connection. And it’s never too late to learn.""Let’s get into it."

We are talking real talk—why boundaries matter, how they build you rather than box you in, and what it looks like to set limits that actually liberate you.Tune in and start drawing the lines that honor your energy, your values, and your worth. You hold the line—because that’s what the most empowered version of you does.liveinconfidence.com Lesliebrooksclc.com

Becky dives into respecting boundaries without taking it personally.You know that moment when someone says, “I need space,” or “I can’t help with that right now,” and even though you get it, something in you feels rejected or shut out? Yeah—been there.But what if we flipped the script? What if someone else’s boundary wasn’t about you at all—but simply about them taking care of themselves? In this episode, we’ll explore how to reframe boundaries, stop internalizing other people’s limits, and show up in relationships with more grace, respect, and resilience.Listen as we get into it.

If someone cares, they make it known. If they wanted to call, text, show up, commit — and they could — they would.It saves you from overanalyzing mixed signals. Busy? Tired? Sure, we all are. But patterns tell you everything. If someone is consistently absent, that's information, not confusion.Listen as Becky dives into the reality of effort, priorities, and capability in relationships, careers, and personal growth.

Without intention, transitions can feel overwhelming and uncertain. But with clarity, every change—whether it’s a new job, a move, a relationship shift, or a personal reinvention—can become an opportunity for growth and transformation.

As parents, the journey to raise and nurture our children is filled with purpose and connection. But when they leave their nest, it's normal to feel pride, loss, and uncertainty. Our goal is to get through this transition with empathy and encouragement. But first, we face the grieving process.

Years of saying hello and goodbye---and Letting Go....It does get easier, or maybe more familiar. We all love to watch our kids grow and we all love to watch them evolve and change, but none of this can happen if you don't Let them go. Allow yourself to watch the amazing humans you raised discover themselves as young adults and in the meantime, GO DISCOVER YOU.

Becoming an empty nester can be a transformative and enriching phase of life. After years of raising children, you now have the opportunity to rediscover yourself and explore new passions.  Picture this: a home that reflects your style, a schedule that’s entirely your own, and the freedom to travel, learn, or pick up hobbies you've always wanted to try. This transition allows for deeper relationships with your friends and family. It's also a time to reflect on your achievements as a parent and embrace the new dynamics of your relationships with your adult children. Instead of viewing it as a loss, see it as a new beginning—a chance to invest in yourself, create new memories, and enjoy the quiet moments. Being an empty nester opens doors to possibilities you may have set aside, making this chapter one of growth, adventure, and fulfillment.

Getting to know yourself and understanding who you really are is a very personal and life-changing journey of discovering yourself. It involves exploring the depths of your being and uncovering your values, beliefs, passions, strengths, and weaknesses. By really getting to know your identity, you can lead a truer, more meaningful, and more satisfying life. Becky Shaffer takes you on a journey on how Self-discovery is a deeply transformative process that can positively impact various areas of your life. She talks about ways that self-discovery can bring about profound change and personal growth.

Survivor's guilt--a response to an event in which someone experienced loss but you did not---seems to be alive and well in the Asheville area after the remnants of Hurricane Helene unleashed floodwaters where lives were lost, homes were lost and all of our lives were turned upside down. Finding meaning providing support, and volunteering are all ways one can help especially when feeling this way. Becky, Liz, and Mel share their personal experience with the hurricane and living in the aftermath.

Becky discusses breaking patterns. In simplest terms, we’re prone to repeating unhealthy relationships, careers, and friendship patterns, whether we know we’re doing so or not. As such, we end up in a holding pattern that we need to break free from unless we want to keep whirling in circles forever.

Doctor LaTondra Sillwell-Barker joins the show today to discuss her passion for empowering others, breaking the stigma of weight management, and educating the listeners on GLP-1 therapy. Becky shares her struggles and how the therapy has changed her life.

It seems that human nature is such that we balk at changing things until things get really bad and we're so uncomfortable that we can no longer go on. We wait for a crisis, trauma, loss, disease, and tragedy before we get down to looking at who we are, what we are doing, how we are living, what we are feeling, and what we believe or know, in order to embrace change. I call this the "wake up call" of life. We all have them. Often it takes this worse case scenario for us to begin making changes that support our health, relationships, career, family and our future. My message is WHY WAIT?

Becky discusses the stability and safety of an anchor and the way we allow it to hold us down as well. It symbolizes being stong and steady in life, reminding us to stay calm and firm when things get tough. More broadly, the anchor means hope and firmness. It’s a symbol of staying positive and guiding us through hard times. Becky shares her experience of resigning from a job and how letting that anchor go allowed life to float to new waves.

Investing in yourself means putting your time, effort, and resources into your personal development and well-being – with the expectation that those investments will yield a positive return in all aspects of your life. Becky discusses different categories of personal growth and inventing in yourself while sharing her personal journey because investing in YOU doesn't come naturally for some.

Leaving your comfort zone can have multiple meanings. Comfort and growth are like oil and water. We are wired to seek comfort and certainty because it means safety and security. Retreating to our comfort zones can recharge our batteries. The lack of risk-taking holds back any type of growth. Join Becky Shaffer as she shares her story on leaving her comfort zone and the 4 stages of the zone.

There is no point in denying so-called aging--it's something I wasn't always convinced I'd be here to witness---but I can't help getting my real age number stuck in my throat when I have to say it. Join Becky and Niki as they discuss their wisdom with aging.

There's no point in denying so-called aging -- it's something I wasn't always convinced I'd be here to witness -- but I can't help getting my real age number stuck in my throat when I have to actually say it. Age is a peculiar thing; the number itself doesn't define us, yet society often attaches unwarranted expectations and limitations based on it. Embracing the aging process involves accepting both the physical and emotional changes that come with it, while recognizing the wisdom and experience gained along the way. It's a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, where the true essence of a person transcends the mere numerical representation of their years lived. Join Becky and Niki as they discuss their Wisdom with aging.

"What if" questions are bound to come up during certain points of our lives, especially during major life decisions and these can be useful. What is not useful is living in the past, in a negative space wondering "what if" from past situations. Shaff and Shay talk about living in the moment and using the "what if" as growth and appreciating lessons learned along the way.

Shaff and Shay wrap up 2023 together and discuss biggest lessons learned this year and how not to carry your mistakes into the new year, but place them under your feet and use them as stepping stone to rise above.

Becky Shaffer talks about Embracing change as a fundamental aspect of personal growth and development. It allows us to break free from our comfort zones, learn new things, and discover hidden potential within ourselves. Instead of fearing change, we can choose to view it as an opportunity for self-improvement and self-discovery. Each new beginning brings with it a chance to redefine ourselves, set new goals, and create a brighter future.

Who ever thought we would be here? Life has a way of going 100 mpg on some days and slower than a snail on others, but this midlife came fast and hard like a head-on collision, and boy have I felt every bump and bruise along the way along with every emotion one can feel. As we face midlife, all the changes in life, it is time to find our purpose and joy as we start this next phase in our life.

The holiday season is upon us, and no other time does it feel like we are “expected” to be joyful and happy, however, how can we bring in gratitude from our life experiences? Becky Shaffer talks about being thankful through all the "stuff".

Being human is pretty complicated. There are the vulnerabilities that exist at our edges with realness and a rawness that can feel overwhelming at times. It is easy to feel as though we are the only ones who wade into the messiness of them all but we’re not. We never are. Join Becky Shaffer as she digs into this topic and shares some of her own RAW life experiences.

Sunsets are usually regarded as a symbol of completion, good, evil, mystery, and magic. They’re also strongly related with endings and can have various other meanings, both positive and negative. In this podcast, I take a look at what sunsets mean, taking into account the emotions you felt, as well as the location and color of the sunset. Here’s a closer look at sunset meanings.

Becky dives into her new chapter and the changes that have been rewarding, yet challenging.. Do you wish to gain some clarity of this "second" half of life feels? Are you struggling? You are not alone. "An empty nest is not just about the people who have left, but also the person who has come back which is you. When the kids leave, they leave that behind feel and rhythm in the house that took years to evolve. The sting of the empty nest is the sharpest when that feeling still exists after the activity from which it evolved is over". Listen to this insightfulness as Becky moves forward in this new chapter of life.

Turning 50, moving and becoming an empty nester all in a 4 month period of time has proven to be a great opportunity with many new journeys' ahead. Shaff and Shay discuss how life brings about opportunities and how we can take the positive and enjoy this ride we call life.

Digging into a controversial topic in functional medicine with Dr. Stone.  Dr. Stone has been practicing for 30 years and has helped heal many with Functional and Eastern medicine.  Redefining Healthy with functional medicine.