The Finding Podcast

Today's meditation is inspired by practices from both the inimitable Fred Rogers, and Māori culture. I hope you feel gratitude and connection as you contemplate the many in your life who have loved you into being.

In today's conversation I review the book Flourish: The Art of Building Meaning, Joy, and Fulfillment, by Daniel Coyle.I ask lots of reflection questions and invite some experimentation on the ideas and concepts we explore.It's a lovely book that dovetails nicely with the principles on this podcast. I hope you enjoy this brief intro!

In this conversation with Manav I do my best to model listening well, and give commentary on the process.It's all about cussing, so that's fun :)To watch either the full conversation or the edited version on YouTube click here: https://youtu.be/jyILcXHqVNE

In this conversation with Manav I do my best to model listening well, and give commentary on the process.It's all about cussing, so that's fun :)To watch either the full conversation or the edited version on YouTube click here: https://youtu.be/jyILcXHqVNE

Amongst our greatest desires as humans is the simple but all too elusive experience of just being understood and accepted as we are. The practice of "active listening" is one way we can effectively give another person that experience, thereby significantly improving the quality of our relationships and dramatically increasing the chances of being understood ourselves.In today's conversation I explain the process of active listening in the event you'd like to practice in your relationships. Next week's conversation will be of me demonstrating active listening with someone else, to help you get an even better idea of how it works (assuming I do it well!). I hope it's thought-provoking and helpful!

You know the drill. Get comfy, close your eyes, and just breathe :)

So.....how are those 2026 New Year's resolutions coming along?!If you're like me, and the vast majority of people as it turns out, your history with the concept of goal setting is spotty at best. In today's conversation I share what I think is a helpful lens based on a body of research from Gretchen Rubin, published in her book The Four Tendencies, with the potential to help us find a little more peace and success in our growth efforts - whether or not we specifically subscribe to the idea of New Year's resolutions.I hope you find something valuable to take away!

In this session we explore breath, body, and imagery as tools to help us strengthen our focus muscle, and learn the art of staying present in our bodies in all of life's experiences.

Following up from last week's conversation about trauma, I share an experience from my clinical work of being triggered and leaning in to work through the trigger. As always, lots of self-discovery questions to try and get to know yourself a little better and appreciate how you make sense!

In today's mindfulness practice we explore our body's responses to perceived safety and threats, and practice leaning into and allowing ourselves to be in our bodies with intentionality and acceptance, regardless what state our body might be in.

Today's conversation explores some of the ins and outs of trauma, with a particular focus on the following:* Nobody lives "trauma-free"* Trauma doesn't speak intellect* Trauma is experienced in our bodies, and therefore must be healed through our bodiesI quote liberally from Resmaa Menakem's excellent workbook "My Grandmother's Hands," which I highly recommend.

In todays conversation I share a personal experience highlighting and discussing the frustrating reality that just because we've mastered a skill in one setting, it doesn't necessarily mean we can do the same thing in all other areas of our lives.I also introduce and discuss the concept of 'cognitive dissonance' and suggest some ways to begin managing it better.

Grab a journal and pen and settle in. This meditation focuses on exploring and getting in touch with what joy looks like to you, and finding inspiration for how to use your energy in pursuing your joy.

Today we spend some time following up on the past two conversations around the concept of goals, and introduce the lens of intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation and how they both have their place in the journey of becoming.

In this weeks conversation I use a dream I had last night as a launching pad to discuss some helpful tools and principles of growth, namely, using vivid imagery to regulate our emotions and prioritizing emotional connection and validation before looking for intellectual solutions. We also revisit some of the ideas from last week about goals or resolutions. Starting off with a dream might seem a little odd, but I think it works :) I hope you agree and would love to hear your thoughts and feedback one way or the other. Enjoy!

The format is a little different today as I experiment with finding better ways to get more content out. As part of the experiment I tweaked the audio and I'm not loving it. Baby steps :) Today's conversation talks about how we often try to "get rid of" parts of ourselves we don't like, and how that approach is a recipe for disappointment. I propose other ways to move forward in life and talk about how we can apply some of those ideas to New Year's resolutions, or goal setting in general. I'd love to hear any feedback. Enjoy!

Understanding principles of family systems theory can be a valuable window into greater understanding and appreciation for ourselves and the families we came from and/or are a part of. Using the iconic Michael Jordan era Chicago Bulls as our example, I explain some of the principles and rules governing all systems and invite you to reflect on how these ideas may relate to you and your family.

Building on our previous conversation I continue the case for the importance of trusting our hearts, what I actually mean by "heart," and some reflection questions to help continue getting to speak this all-important language.

Building on an idea mentioned last week, today's conversation sets the groundwork for exploring more in depth the ways we think and feel about intellect vs emotion, or head and heart as I like to call it. Below are the sources I reference: (Shelley E. Taylor, Laura Cousino Klein, Brian P Lewis, Tara L. Gruenewald, Regan A. R Gurung and John A. Updegraff, “Biobehavioral responses to stress in females: Tend-and-befriend, not fight-or-flight,” Psychological Review, Vol 107, no. 3, (Jul 2000): 411-429. The Righteous Mind, by Jonathan Haidt

Mindfulness session spending more time with concepts from the "Self Defense" conversation.And it turns out it's 26 minutes, not "10-15"...... :)

Continuing from our last conversation about triggers, this conversation talks about dissociation as a type of reactivity, asks questions to help you understand yourself better, and gives some ideas of how you can begin finding new ways to work with yourself as opposed to against.

Following up on last week's conversation about influencing behavior, this week we dive a little deeper into the concept of 'triggers' or 'reactivity.'

Guided meditation with a focus on principles discussed in today's discussion. Enjoy!

I'm glad to be back at it after a long (forced) break! Today's conversation looks at methods of influencing behavior in ourselves and others. Similar to previous conversations we're exploring how we talk to ourselves and others and what we focus on, but this time from a bit of a different lens. It's called Operant Conditioning and is at play in virtually all our interactions - so a good thing to be aware of. I hope it's helpful, and would love to hear your feedback!

In today's conversation I share a personal example of me looking in all the WRONG places for growth, and some powerful principles I learned that have helped me and many others learn to start looking in the right places to achieve the results we want! Review of last week: neurons and neuroplasticity Illustration of principles of growth (think of your own life and parallels) How it all started  randomness of much of life Initial attempts negativity and “will power” Re-do Accept self Ability to not dwell Looking forward vs backward Finding positives Talisman Emotional shift Review Invitations Are there areas of your life where you’ve been stuck in a negative cycle similar to mine? What might a “re-do” look like for you? Can you be curious, patient, and compassionate as you explore ways to shift your focus? Related Ideas Content vs. Process Operant Conditioning Neurological effects of trauma (Big ‘T’ and little ‘t’)

This conversation explores growth and some of the principles discussed previously, but from a neurological perspective, and even includes some "hands on" application of said brain science principles! Baby Jane clapping (or not clapping) What is a neuron? Electrical wires and insulation/myelination Everything we do has an associated neural pathway Myelinating relational/emotional neural pathways is in many ways more complex and challenging than, say, sports pathways - we can be patient and more kind with ourselves! Calculator metaphor revisited Writing exercise to feel what it’s like using unmyelinated pathways Growth is inherently uncomfortable - learning to pursue that discomfort is a game changer EVERYTHING (almost) is learned - let’s, again, be kind to ourselves 7 practical ways to increase neural plasticity Sleep, Nutrition, Exercise, Mindfulness, Novelty, Meaningful Relationships, Touch

We may not be aware of it, but each of us carry deep seated beliefs about people and the world which profoundly affect our every thought, feeling, and interaction with others and ourselves. Today we explore some of these core beliefs, starting with a trip back to the best of times and worst of times - High School! Outline: Thoughts on how to use podcast “Clinically indicated” vs. ideal Regularly scheduled time… OR whatever works best for you! Previous week follow up No one therapy model is the “answer” or “right” approach, but that the therapy model does matter. Unity more important than the “right” approach Parenting one excellent example In what ways might your focus on doing it the “right” way be getting in your way? Scientific method Hypothesis - test hypothesis New Year’s Egg drop tradition Hypothesis Focused on strength of hot glue holding popsicle sticks and padding capability of popcorn Assumptions Gravity is a constant: None of us ever thought about it - we assumed it to be true and built our designs accordingly. Imagine if gravity were different than my assumptions.. Similarly we ALL have assumptions, or core beliefs, we never think about but which are critical in understanding our choices and responses to life. When behavior and beliefs are inconsistent we feel dissonance (“off” feeling) which translates to anxiety, depression, blaming others, and all around poor choices. Coping with dissonance Three core beliefs worth exploring, and knowing what you believe: Brokenness as a thing Calculator metaphor I believe everything makes sense We don’t need to know “how” it works to know/believe that it works Thirst and water Two more core beliefs that have profound implications for how we see the world. Inherently good/bad/neutral? What evidence do you have to support your belief? How do you feel about your belief? If you’re not sure what you believe, how might you go about exploring? Inherent value/worth? Is a human life inherently valuable?  Does that include yours? How might you value other people’s thoughts/feelings/experiences differently than your own? Where might you have learned that? Take care, and I’ll talk to you next week! Questions: How might a focus on the “right” way be getting in your way? What do I believe about brokenness? Inherent goodness? Inherent worth?  How does this belief make sense for me? (i.e. how did I come by it?) How does my belief help/hurt? Are my thoughts and actions consistent with this belief? Toward others? Toward myself? Related Ideas For Future Exploration Attachment Theory What is truth? If I truly believe there is no gravity, is it true? How does that belief affect my lived experience? Are there objective truths about the human experience? DSM and labels Symbolic Interactionism Placebo Effect

A deeper, more meditative dive into connecting with yourself around the principles of growth and change.

This conversation introduces me, Daman, a little more through the lens of my experiences learning about and developing my model of therapeutic change. In this episode I identify, describe, and explore core principles of sustainable growth and invite introspection and curiosity about the process.

Daman Reynolds leads a mindfulness exercise. You've probably heard of mindfulness—and rightfully so, because there are extremely well-documented positive benefits to our lives when we incorporate a habit of regular, daily mindfulness.

Daman Reynolds, licensed therapist, introduces himself as well as The Finding Podcast—a community-driven exploration of mental health topics including growth, parenting, marriage, conflict, brain development and function, vulnerability, mindfulness, and a myriad of other topics. To engage with the community, see https://thefindingpodcast.org.