Intelligent Intoxication

When our children were growing up, we were meant to be their emotional charging station. They came to us for: comfort reassurance grounding perspective emotional safety That was healthy. That was parenting. But in the empty nest season, many parents unconsciously reverse that relationship and begin expecting their adult children to emotionally sustain them. Our adult children are not meant to carry our emotional well-being: 1. Children are supposed to draw from us—not sustain us When kids are young, dependency is normal. But adulthood changes the assignment. Adult children are supposed to separate, build lives, and become independent. If we need them to emotionally stabilize us, we place a burden on them they were never meant to carry. Adult children should not be responsible for your peace This often sounds like: Why don’t they call more? I just want them to need me I feel hurt when they make decisions without me Underneath is often: “I need you to help me feel secure.” That creates guilt instead of closeness and obligation instead of intimacy. Worry can disguise emotional dependency Sometimes what we call concern is actually emotional dependence. Ask yourself: Does their happiness determine mine? Do their struggles destabilize my peace? Does their approval fuel my emotional stability? If so, we may be emotionally plugging into them instead of standing on our own emotional ground. A happy parent is a gift Gretchen Rubin shared this idea: “What if our adult children are only as happy as their least happy parent?” Your peace gives them permission to live. Your groundedness frees them from managing you emotionally. A fulfilled parent says: “You are free to build your life. I am fully living mine.” Support them—don’t lean on them for identity This doesn’t mean becoming distant. It means healthy emotional responsibility. “I will always support you, but I will not make you responsible for my emotional well-being.” That is mature love. Reflection Questions Have I made one of my children responsible for my peace? Am I looking to them for identity or validation? Where do I need to create my own emotional stability? What would it look like to become a deeply grounded parent? One of the greatest gifts we can give our adult children is a parent who knows how to stay fully charged on her own. If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who wants to learn how to recharge your own emotional battery, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

What I Thought Women Needed A clear, written plan for their next chapter Step-by-step direction Tangible outcomes they could take with them What I Discovered They Actually Needed Clarity about where they are right now Language for what no longer fits Permission to want something different Connection to their values A sense of the identity they are growing into Support in aligning habits and routines with that identity Tools to navigate relationships without self-sacrifice Key Insight: Women don’t struggle because they can’t make a plan. They struggle when they don’t yet have clarity or permission. What I Observed in the Room Strong connection and camaraderie Meaningful self-awareness emerging Some hesitation around sharing (safety matters) What I Learned About Myself I am strongest in live teaching and real-time coaching My work is rooted in self-awareness, identity, and behavior—not just planning I help women align how they live with what they value I guide women in managing relationships in a healthy, non-self-sacrificing way Reframe: I’m not just helping women create plans— I’m helping them redesign how they live and relate. What I’ll Change Next Time Make the class longer to allow for deeper integration Clarify the promise so it matches the true transformation Ensure participants leave with something written and tangible Final Takeaway The first round wasn’t about perfection—it was about clarity. It revealed: What women truly need in this season And the work I’m actually here to do Question for Listeners Are you trying to create a plan for your next chapter… when what you really need first is clarity about who you’re becoming? If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who needs clarity in regard to your next chapter, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

There’s a quote many mothers have heard: “You’re only as happy as your least happy child.” And if we’re honest, many of us have lived like that’s true. If one child is struggling—emotionally, relationally, financially, spiritually, or professionally—we feel it deeply. Especially in the empty nest season, it can feel like our emotional well-being is still tied to our children’s lives. But what if there’s another way to look at it? Gretchen Rubin shared this thought: What if our adult children are only as happy as their least happy parent? That shifts everything. Maybe our role now is not to keep managing their happiness. Maybe our work is to become the kind of parent whose peace gives them permission to live. Your happiness is not selfis - it’s leadership. A peaceful, grounded, emotionally healthy parent creates freedom for adult children. Adult children need parents who trust, believe, and model emotional adulthood - they do not need a parent who is constantly worried, hovering, or emotionally dependent.   Reflection Questions Am I emotionally outsourcing my peace to one of my children? Do my children feel responsible for my happiness? What would it look like to become a deeply peaceful parent? What kind of freedom would that create for everyone? Maybe the goal of motherhood in this season is to become the kind of parent whose life says: “You are free to go build yours. And I am fully living mine.” Because perhaps our children are only as happy as their least happy parent. And maybe the work now… is learning how to become a happy one. If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who needs some support to create happiness in your next chapter, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

Do you ever wonder WHY you do what you do? So much of our behavior is driven by the need to have an emotional need met. According to author and speaker, Tony Robbins, there are six human needs that drive all of us — and understanding them can bring so much clarity and self-awareness. On today’s episode I’ll apply my understanding of Robbins’ 6 needs to the empty nest stage of life during which midlife women are reimagining “what’s next” while mothering adult children.  The Six Needs Certainty The need for safety, stability, comfort, and predictability. Where in life do I need to feel secure? Variety The need for change, spontaneity, challenge, and excitement. Where do I feel bored or restless? Significance The need to feel important, valued, and seen. Where do I seek validation or a sense of mattering? Love & Connection The need for belonging, closeness, and meaningful relationships. Where do I feel connected — or disconnected? Growth The need to learn, evolve, and become more of who I am. How am I stretching in this season? Contribution The need to give, serve, and make a difference. How am I offering my gifts to something bigger than myself? Key Point The first four needs help us feel emotionally safe. The last two create deeper fulfillment. Sometimes what feels like dissatisfaction is simply an unmet need. Reflection Questions for Listeners Which need feels strongest for me right now? Which one feels missing? How am I currently trying to meet it? Is there a healthier way to meet that need? Closing Understanding your needs helps you move from self-judgment to self-awareness. Sometimes the discomfort you feel is simply information. It may be showing you what your life is asking for next. Here’s the link to Robbins’ article: Tony Robbins: 6 Human Needs If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who needs some support as you craft a next chapter that addresses your 6 needs, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

Arthur Brooks, author of The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose In An Age of Emptiness, is a Harvard professor and social scientist who studies happiness and meaning.  Brooks simplifies happiness into three core ingredients: enjoyment satisfaction meaning His formula is: Happiness = Enjoyment + Satisfaction + Meaning This gives us a practical framework to ask: What am I truly enjoying? Where am I experiencing progress and satisfaction? What gives this season of life meaning? Especially in the empty nest season, this can become a beautiful guide for rediscovering identity and purpose. If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who needs some support as you craft a next chapter filled with happiness, satisfaction, enjoyment, and meaning, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

Second Season vs. Next Season: Releasing the Pressure to Get It Right In today’s episode, we’re exploring the subtle difference between calling this chapter your “second season” versus your “next season.” At first glance, second season can sound intentional and beautiful — but it can also carry an unspoken pressure: This is it. This one needs to be right. For many midlife women, especially moms navigating the empty nest and redefining identity, that language can feel heavy. On the other hand, next season feels more spacious. It reminds us that life unfolds in many seasons, not just two. There is room to evolve, experiment, and change your mind. This episode explores: Why the phrase second season can feel high-pressure How next season creates more emotional spaciousness The freedom of knowing this chapter does not have to be final Giving yourself permission to grow through many seasons of life The heart of this conversation: You do not need to get the rest of your life right. You only need to choose your next season with intention. Key Reflection Question What would I choose for this next season if I knew I could evolve again? If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who needs some support as you intentionally plan your next chapter, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

In this episode, we’re exploring the difference between the life changes we choose as midlife women and the ones that seem to happen to us. Some changes arrive because we intentionally decide something needs to shift — our routines, our relationships, our homes, our health, or the way we want to live this next season. Other changes come without invitation: children leaving home, changing family dynamics, body changes, loss, or unexpected transitions that can leave us feeling untethered. The truth is, midlife often asks us to navigate both. We may not always choose what happens, but we do get to choose how we respond, what meaning we make of it, and who we become through it. This episode is an invitation to notice where life is changing around you, where you are being called to choose, and how to move through this season with more intention and self-trust. If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who needs some support as you navigate the life changes you can both control and not control, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

So many women feel the weight of the question: “What is my purpose?” It can feel big, vague, and quietly intimidating—like there’s a “right” answer you’re supposed to figure out. But what if the question itself is the problem? This episode offers a gentler, more grounded approach. Key Shift Instead of asking: “What is my purpose?” Try asking: What lets me feel a little more alive? When do I notice feeling most like me? Does this energize me - or does it drain or deplete me? When do I notice feeling purposeful? Why “Finding Your Purpose” Feels Heavy It implies a single, fixed answer It creates pressure to get it right It keeps you in your head, searching and overthinking It can make you feel behind or like you’re missing something What It Means to Feel Purposeful Feeling purposeful isn’t something you find once— it’s something you experience in moments. It often shows up when you are: Engaged Energized (not depleted) Curious or interested Connected to yourself or others Doing something that feels meaningful, even in a small way Better Questions to Ask Yourself What made me feel energized this week? When did I lose track of time? What felt simple, natural, or like “me”? What am I drawn to lately? Does this energize me or deplete me? The Truth About Purpose Purpose isn’t something you chase— it’s something you generate through how you live. Small moments of aliveness create a life that feels meaningful. Try This Instead of waiting for clarity about your purpose: Follow what feels engaging Pay attention to your energy Let curiosity lead before certainty Closing Thought You don’t need to figure out your entire purpose to create a life that feels deeply meaningful. Start with what brings you to life— and let that be enough to guide your next step. If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who needs some support as you fill your life with meaning and aliveness, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

In this episode, we talk about the three emotional stages many women move through when their children leave home: Grief, Relief, and Joy. These stages don’t always happen in a straight line. You may feel two of them at the same time, or circle back to one when holidays, visits, or life transitions happen. But recognizing where you are can bring a lot of clarity. 1. Grief: Letting Go of a Season The first stage many women experience is grief. This isn’t just missing your children—it’s the quiet realization that a whole era of your life has ended. You might notice: What you might be feeling A deep ache or heaviness in the house Sudden waves of sadness at unexpected times Emotional reactions to ordinary things (empty bedrooms, quiet mornings, fewer grocery bags) What you might be doing Looking through old photos Replaying memories of school years, holidays, and routines Talking about your kids a lot Wondering where your purpose fits now What you might not be doing Feeling motivated to start something new Making big life plans Feeling excited about the extra time yet This stage is about honoring what mattered. That chapter of life was real, meaningful, and beautiful. 2. Relief: Space Opens Up Relief is the stage that many women feel guilty admitting. But it’s incredibly common. After years of caregiving, logistics, and responsibility, there is suddenly… space. What you might be feeling Lighter More relaxed in your own home Curious about what you want again Occasionally guilty for enjoying the quiet What you might be doing Sleeping in or going to bed earlier Cooking simpler meals (or not cooking at all) Leaving the house without coordinating schedules Enjoying spontaneous plans What you might not be doing Constantly thinking about what everyone else needs Running a tightly structured household Managing everyone else’s emotions Relief isn’t selfish. It’s the nervous system finally exhaling after years of responsibility. 3. Joy: Rediscovering Yourself Joy comes when the empty nest starts to feel less like a loss and more like an opening. This is where women begin reconnecting with parts of themselves that were set aside for years. What you might be feeling A sense of possibility Excitement about creating something new Confidence in this stage of life Gratitude for both the past and the present What you might be doing Exploring hobbies or interests again Rearranging or reimagining your home Starting creative projects or new work Investing more deeply in friendships or community What you might not be doing Defining yourself only as a parent Waiting for your children’s lives to dictate your own Feeling like the best part of life is behind you Joy in the empty nest isn’t about replacing your children. It’s about reclaiming yourself. A Final Thought Most women move through all three stages at different times. You might feel grief when your child leaves after a visit. Relief on a quiet Sunday morning. Joy when you realize your life still holds so much possibility. None of these feelings are wrong. They’re simply part of the emotional landscape of the empty nest.   If you’re the mother of adult children who needs some help navigating these emotional stages, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri I’m thrilled to announce my new in-person class: “Design Your Second Season – Your Kids Are Grown. Now it’s time to rediscover YOU.” Design Your Second Season is a 5-week small-group class where moms of adult children come together to reflect, reconnect with who they are now, and begin shaping a meaningful and fulfilling next chapter. In this class, you’ll gain: • Clarity about who you are now in this stage of life • A vision for what you want your next chapter to look like • Confidence in your gifts and talents • A weekly rhythm that supports what matters most to you The class is designed to be both thoughtful and practical—giving you space to reflect while also helping you take meaningful steps forward. Details: Wednesdays, March 25 – April 22 6:00–7:30 PM Kairos Learning Solutions 836 S. Main Street, Salinas Class size is limited to keep the experience personal and engaging.

I’m thrilled to announce my new in-person class: “Design Your Second Season – Your Kids Are Grown. Now it’s time to rediscover YOU.” Design Your Second Season is a 5-week small-group class where moms of adult children come together to reflect, reconnect with who they are now, and begin shaping a meaningful and fulfilling next chapter. In this class, you’ll gain: • Clarity about who you are now in this stage of life • A vision for what you want your next chapter to look like • Confidence in your gifts and talents • A weekly rhythm that supports what matters most to you The class is designed to be both thoughtful and practical—giving you space to reflect while also helping you take meaningful steps forward. Details: Wednesdays, March 25 – April 22 6:00–7:30 PM Kairos Learning Solutions 836 S. Main Street, Salinas Class size is limited to keep the experience personal and engaging. If you’re the mother of adult children who can use some support as you design your second seasion, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

Once the active years of motherhood have passed, we may find ourselves still trying to prove to or convince others that we are valuable and worthy.  Proving is similar to people-pleasing in which we’re “lying” to others in order to manage how they think or feel about us.  If you’re the mother of adult children who finds herself striving to prove that you’re still valuable and worthy, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

It’s not uncommon for moms of adult children in the second half of life to get stuck in fear - rather than managing fear while living in hope.  Courtesy of author Kate Swobota, “the fear chain/hope chain” exercise will help you uncover the limiting beliefs beneath your fears so that you can intentionally focus on what you hope will happen instead.  For example: “If I’m not needed by my adult children, I’m afraid that I won’t spend time with them.” “If I don’t spend time with them, I’m afraid that I’ll feel disconnected from them.” “If I feel disconnected from them, I’m afraid that I won’t matter to them any more.” “If I don’t matter to them any more, I’m afraid that I’ll be abandoned.” “If I’m abandoned, I’m afraid that I’ll always be alone.”   So my real fearful belief is that being “needed” prevents me from being alone.  Now, we flip it.  “If I’m not needed by my adult children, I HOPE that they’ll be strong and independent.” “If they are strong and independent, I hope that they’ll create lives they truly love.” “If they create lives they truly love, I hope that I’ll be an important part of those lives.” “If I’m an important part of their lives, I hope that we’ll remain deeply connected.” I’m curious to know - what did you uncover? If you’re the mother of adult children who finds herself stuck in fear, rather than living in hope, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

A simple coaching prompt stopped me in my tracks: “Actually, I don’t want to ______ because…” In this episode, we explore why so many of us chase goals we inherited—from culture, expectations, or a former version of ourselves—and how quiet resistance can be a form of wisdom. This conversation is for you if you’ve been feeling oddly unmotivated, braced around certain “shoulds,” or unsure why a goal no longer fits. You don’t need a new goal yet. Sometimes clarity begins with naming what you no longer want. If you’re the mother of adult children who might love some support as you clarify what you want or don’t want in the second season of life, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

In the empty nest, long-standing explanations for why life can’t change often get louder. These stories once protected us—but now they may be quietly limiting our sense of agency, vitality, and connection. 1. The Pattern: Living in Explanation Mode Constant reasons why change isn’t possible Weight, marriage, energy, relationships, timing Not laziness—protection Explanations reduce risk, disappointment, and grief “If it’s not my fault, I don’t have to risk failing… but I also don’t get to feel my power.” 2. Why This Shows Up in the Empty Nest Fewer external demands More time + space = more self-awareness Old coping strategies resurface Identity built on caretaking starts to loosen 3. The Hidden Cost Stagnation  Quiet resentment or numbness Others feel fatigued or disengage Conversations circle, but nothing opens 4. The Shift: From Explaining to Experimenting Not “take responsibility” Try small experiments “What’s one thing I could try?” “What feels even slightly enlivening?” “What if curiosity replaced justification?” 5. For the Spouse, Friend, or Adult Child What doesn’t help Arguing with the explanation Fixing or convincing What helps Reflect without rescuing: “That sounds heavy.” Name choice gently: “I wonder what you want.” Set boundaries when needed “Loving someone doesn’t mean living inside their stuckness.” 6. Closing Reframe Explanations are often fear in disguise “Who am I when I no longer need a reason to stay the same?” If you’re the mother of adult children who feels stuck in excuses or explanations, I can help you easily get unstuck.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

What if some of the hardest parts of empty nesting aren’t the circumstances themselves—but the stories our nervous system tells about them? In this episode, we explore the difference between real empty nest changes and the meaning we attach to them when we’re unsettled or dysregulated. Drawing from ADHD and nervous system concepts, we look at why grief and anxiety can surface even when nothing is “wrong,” and how separating fact from story can restore clarity and agency. If you’re the mother of adult children who might love some support as you identify and challenge your own “stories” about this stage, I can help you easily get unstuck.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

Episode Description: If your habits haven’t been what you wanted them to be so far in 2026, here’s a quick habit refresh for your consideration: Identify whether you are an “abstainer” or a “moderator”. In her book, Better Than Before, author Gretchen Rubin explains: “For abstainers, it’s easier to say no to everything than to say no to some things… moderators do better when they indulge in moderation, because occasional indulgence heightens their pleasure and strengthens their resolve.” When it comes to changing habits, is it easier for you to stop the habit altogether, or to aim to do the habit in smaller quantities or less frequently? When you’re trying to start a new habit, is it easier to practice the new habit every single day for a very short period of time (abstain from missing a day) or to practice the habit a few times a week (moderately)? According to James Clear in Atomic Habits: “We don’t rise to the level of our goals - we fall to the level of our systems.” In order to create a “system”, simply grab a piece of paper and write down the small, specific steps you’ll take in order.  For example, here’s my “daily walk system”: At 4:45, put on shoes and coat.  Grab airpods and phone.  Leave the house.  Walk around the neighborhood.  The steps are clear and simple. When 4:45 hits, I don’t have to make a decision. I simply have to follow the steps.  If you’re trying to start a habit, it’s helpful to attach a “feeling state” to the new habit. For example, I’ll get the benefit of feeling energized if I walk for 15 minutes.  If you’re trying to stop a habit that no longer serves you, instead of focusing on what the habit is costing you, identify the immediate yet temporary benefit you get from the habit. For example, drinking while you make dinner might be giving you an escape from feeling restless or bored. Substitute a quick walk (moves the restless energy) and a Netflix show (solves for boredom) and you’re still getting the “benefit” without the long-term costs.  In Atomic Habits, James Clear also teaches that the best way to start and a sustain a new habit is to attach a valued identity to the habit or system: “The most effective way to change your habits is to focus not on what you want to achieve, but on who you wish to become.” Everytime I walk, write, cook, or meet with a client, I am showing up as an “exerciser”, “author”, “foodie”, or “coach”. These identities are important to me and I want to embody them as often as possible.  On the habit front, here are my favorite books for your consideration: Atomic Habits by James Clear.  Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin.  Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done by Jon Acuff If you know you could use some support as you stop or start new habits this year as the mother of adult children, you can schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

Moms of adult children often struggle to create or maintain emotionally mature relationships in the second season of life.  What if creating new connections can actually be simple, not complicated? Here are my top three tips for creating and maintaining connections: Be interested. No one wants to be impressed by you. Women want to feel seen and heard and that you’re genuinely interested in who they are.  The best way to do this is to ask them questions using the prompt: “I’m so curious… “ Be fun and entertaining. Bring the joy into every interaction you have with other women. Don’t be a “Debbie Downer”. Don’t  complain.  Be willing to initiate activities with other women.  If you know you could use some help creating and maintaining connections as the mother of adult children, you can schedule a complimentary coaching call with me in January, 2026. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

I use the concept “quiet quitting” to describe the intentional decision to  create an internal boundary regarding what we are no longer willing to do, be, or what or to whom we’re no longer willing to grant access to, or determining the amount of space you need between you and another person in order to truly love and accept them and yourself at the same time. “Quitting” is not giving up - it’s deciding that you’re no longer willing to invest your limited time, energy, and resources into an activity or relationship. “Quiet quitting” is not a reaction to an uncomfortable emotion like anger, fear, or sadness - it is an intentional response given our current needs and circumstances.  If you know you could use some help as you navigate a new identity as the mother of adult children, you can schedule a complimentary coaching call with me in January, 2026. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

If you’re a mom of adult children and you’re feeling discombobulated after the holidays — this episode is for you. When your kids come home, life often shifts into anticipation mode. We look forward to their arrival, savor the time together, and then suddenly… they’re gone. And you’re left trying to restart your life again. In this episode, we talk about: Why the transition after the holidays feels so emotionally jarring How living in anticipation can quietly put your own life on hold The four-part cycle we experience when our adult kids are coming home: Anticipation Connection Emptiness Recalibration This isn’t about “bouncing back.” It’s about honoring the transition — and learning how to live fully in the season you’re actually in.   If you know you could use some help as you navigate a new identity as the mother of adult children, you can schedule a complimentary coaching call with me in January, 2026. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

In the second stage of motherhood, many women struggle to just “feel better”.  In this episode, we explore both top-down and bottom-up approaches to healing and wellbeing as the mom of adult children.  You’ll learn: What top-down work looks like (mindset, values, identity, belief-shifting) What bottom-up support includes (therapy, medication, nervous system care, lifestyle shifts) Why insight alone doesn’t always bring relief Why needing support at this stage of life is not a failure—but a biological and emotional reality How integrating both approaches can create stability, clarity, and renewed meaning This conversation is for moms with adult children who feel unsettled, exhausted, or unsure of what’s next—and want to stop judging themselves for how they’re feeling. The second stage of life isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about learning how to truly support yourself.   If you know you could use some help as you navigate a new identity as the mother of adult children, you can schedule a complimentary coaching call with me in January, 2026. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

In this episode, we explore the subtle but powerful difference between anticipation and presence — and how it impacts your daily peace and joy as the mother of adult children in your second season of life.  Anticipation pulls your mind into the future, imagining what hasn’t happened yet. While it can create excitement, it often keeps us in a state of waiting, overthinking, or low-grade anxiety. Presence brings us back to the moment we’re in. It’s the practice of rooting ourselves where our body is, rather than living in a future we can’t control or a past we can’t change. Presence feels grounded, calm, and connected. This episode invites you to notice where anticipation may be pulling you out of your life — and how gently returning to the present can restore a sense of ease and emotional steadiness. I invite you to consider this question:  Who might you be and what might you do if you didn’t wait for the text, call, or visit today? If you know you could use some help as you navigate a new identity as the mother of adult children, you can schedule a complimentary coaching call with me in January, 2026. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

On tonight’s episode, we’ll discuss 10 more “gifts” a mother can give her adult children that cost nothing but create emotional spaciousness, safety, and connection. These acts of emotional generosity will help your relationship grow, breathe, and thrive. The Best Gifts a Mother Can Give Her Adult Children (That Money Can’t Buy) 11. A Soft Landing, Not a Sticky Trap Offering warmth, humor, listening, and ease when you’re together — the kind of presence that makes them want to come back. 12. Flexibility Instead of Fragility Being adaptable to schedules, changes, and realities — without pouting, withdrawing, or dramatizing. 13. Trust in Their Competence Believing they can handle their lives. Letting them struggle, solve, grow, and get stronger without rushing in. 14. Acceptance of Their Pace Not needing frequent contact to feel connected. Letting the relationship breathe without fear. 15. A Safe, Nonjudgmental Presence A place where they can show up imperfectly without being evaluated, corrected, or advised. 16. Your Own Friendships and Community So they don’t carry the weight of being your only source of belonging. 17. Emotional Congruence Showing them someone who is living authentically — aligned, honest, humble, grounded. 18. Genuine Enjoyment Letting your face light up when they walk into the room or call you — not with desperation, but with delight. 19. The Gift of Letting Go Releasing the fantasy child, the fantasy relationship, the fantasy closeness — and loving the real adult in front of you. 20. Loving Them Without Needing to Manage Them The simplest, hardest, and most beautiful gift: I love you exactly as you are, and my life is full even when you’re not with me. If you know you could use some help as you navigate your connectioons to your adult children, you can schedule a complimentary coaching call with me in January, 2026. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

On tonight’s episode, we’ll discuss “gifts” a mother can give her adult children that cost nothing but create emotional spaciousness, safety, and connection. These acts of emotional generosity will help your relationship grow, breathe, and thrive. The Best Gifts a Mother Can Give Her Adult Children (That Money Can’t Buy) 1. A Life You Love and Live Fully A purposeful, engaged, meaningful life so they never feel responsible for your happiness. A parallel life, not a dependent one. 2. Emotional Lightness Letting go of chronic complaining, negativity, or emotional heaviness so time with you feels nourishing, not draining. 3. Interesting Energy Bringing new ideas, stories, perspectives, hobbies, or adventures to the table — not disguised advice, not commentary on their choices, but genuine aliveness. 4. Non-Needy Connection Not depending on them as your primary social, emotional, or practical support system. Knowing they are not your “everyday people.” 5. Celebration of Their Independent Life Being truly happy when they make plans with friends, partners, coworkers, or communities — without taking it personally. 6. Respect for Their Autonomy Honoring the life they’re building, the choices they’re making, and the people they love. Cheering for them from the sidelines, not trying to run onto the field. 7. Mature Communication Texts that are warm and simple. Phone calls that don’t become marathons. Conversations that feel like choice, not obligation. 8. Emotional Self-Regulation Managing your own anxiety, triggers, expectations, and disappointments so they never feel like they have to soothe or stabilize you. 9. Boundaries That Feel Like Love Letting them come and go without guilt, emotional punishment, or subtle manipulation. Showing that your love isn’t measured by access. 10. Curiosity Without Control Asking about their life from a place of curiosity, not wanting influence. Letting them tell their own story without over-responding. If you know you could use some help as you navigate your connectioons to your adult children, you can schedule a complimentary coaching call with me in January, 2026. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

As the mother of adult children, it’s normal to experience challenges when they return for the holidays. Your new routines may be disrupted, your old roles may resurface, and both parents and children have expectations for the time spent together. Here are a few questions for your consideration: What are your expectations for the holiday season?  What are your adult children’s expectations? What roles will you feel compelled to step back into? How can you honor your adult children’s desire for freedom and independence? What are your 1-3 priorities for your time together? If you know you could use some help as you navigate your connections to your adult children, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call:. [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

As the mother of adult children, it’s normal to feel occasional sadness and worry. But when sadness becomes depression, and worry is a symptom of anxiety, it’s time to consider getting help.  This episode helps you understand the difference between normal transitional feelings and signs that you may need additional support from a therapist or doctor. Key Takeaways: The empty nest is often described as a loss that comes without a funeral. There’s no ceremony, no community ritual, no structured grief process. Suddenly: Your identity shifts Your routine changes Your purpose feels blurry Your home feels different And long-buried emotions have space to surface A certain amount of sadness, nostalgia, and disorientation is part of the process. But depression is when those emotional dips become your emotional baseline. You may be dealing with transitional sadness if you… Have occasional tearfulness Feel tender or nostalgic Miss your old routines Have lower motivation for a few days Feel sad but still have moments of connection, laughter, or hope You may be dealing with depression if you… Wake up feeling hopeless more days than not Notice a loss of interest in things you used to enjoy Feel chronically tired or numb Struggle to get basic tasks done Experience changes in sleep or appetite Feel like life has lost its color or meaning If you’ve been feeling this way for two or more weeks—and it interferes with daily functioning—it’s time to reach out. You may be dealing with normal anxiety if you… Worry about your kids but can redirect yourself Feel restless or overthink occasionally Have days of feeling “off” but can still function You may be dealing with anxiety that needs support if you… Have constant rumination you can't shut off Feel physically activated (tight chest, racing heart) Catastrophize or spiral into worst-case scenarios Avoid certain situations because of worry Feel like your fear is running the show Persistent anxiety is not a personality flaw—it’s a physiological and cognitive loop that often responds beautifully to therapy and, in some cases, medication. Consider therapy or speaking with a doctor if: Your symptoms have lasted 2+ weeks consistently You’re not functioning like you normally do You’re withdrawing socially You’re having intrusive thoughts you can’t control You feel like you’re “losing yourself” or emotionally drowning Your anxiety feels constant, physical, or uncontrollable Your world starts shrinking because you’re trying to manage your feelings You’re using alcohol, food, or avoidance to cope Better Help Counseling If you know you could use some, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call:. [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

So many women in the empty-nest season find themselves waiting to feel “ready,” “clear,” or “purposeful” before they allow themselves to feel happy.  In today’s episode, we explore a powerful reframe inspired by this Dan Sullivan quote from his best-selling book,  The Gap and the Gain: “Happiness is not something you pursue. Happiness is not somewhere in the future. Happiness is where you start, not where you finish.” If you’ve been telling yourself that you have to “earn” happiness as an empty-nester,  this episode will show you how to use joy and appreciation as the fuel you need to strengthen your happiness muscle.  Key Takeaways   Happiness isn’t found at the finish line - it’s where we start.  Happiness is not a reward - happiness is meant to fuel you as you create the life you desire.  Happiness isn’t a milestone - it’s a muscle we must strengthen daily by being present.  When you ground yourself in the present moment and notice and feel joy and appreciation, you are starting with happiness.  When you’re unsure what’s next, follow what feels alive. Joy is often your soul’s internal GPS. You don’t have to wait for happiness to arrive. You are the source of it. Everything you build from this starting point becomes more aligned, authentic, and deeply you. Questions for Your Consideration: “What would make today feel good?” “What might feel joyful?” “What am I intentionally willing to appreciate today?” “What might make me happy today?” If you know you could use some support as you buld the happiness muscle in the empty nest stage, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call:. [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

Episode Summary Do you ever look around your quiet home and wonder, “What now?” Your kids are thriving, but you feel… stuck. It’s easy to measure your life by what’s missing — the noise, the busyness, the clear sense of purpose you once had. In this episode, we explore a powerful concept from Dan Sullivan’s book The Gap and the Gain - the idea that fulfillment comes from how far you’ve come, not how far you still have to go. When you shift from living in the gap (what’s missing) to the gain (what’s grown), you begin to see yourself — and your life — in a whole new light. If you’re a former stay-at-home mom navigating the empty nest stage and craving a renewed sense of joy, purpose, and self-expression, this episode will help you find fulfillment not by doing more, but by seeing more of what’s already here. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: What it means to live in “the gap” — and why it drains your confidence and joy How to recognize and celebrate “the gains” you’ve already made through motherhood Simple mindset shifts to measure progress by growth, not by goals Episode Highlights 1️. Understanding “The Gap” When we measure ourselves against an ideal version of who we think we should be, we always come up short. The “gap” keeps us focused on lack — on what’s not done, not perfect, not yet discovered. 2️. Shifting into “The Gain” The “gain” is what happens when you measure yourself against where you started. It’s the recognition that you’ve already grown — in wisdom, strength, compassion, and creativity — through the years of raising your family and building a home. 3️. Living from the Gain From this new perspective, you start to see daily life differently. Instead of saying, “I’m behind on finding my purpose,” you might say, “I’m already rediscovering what lights me up.” You begin to notice how much beauty and growth already exists within you — and how it can shape what’s next. Reflective Journal Prompts What qualities have I developed through motherhood that I’m proud of? How have I grown in the past 10 or 20 years? What do I now know about myself that I didn’t before? What are three “gains” I can celebrate today? Quotes From The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan: “The way to measure your progress is backward against where you started, not against your ideal.”   “Being in the GAIN means you measure yourself backward, against where you were before. You measure your own progress. You don’t compare yourself to something external. You don’t measure yourself against your ideals.”   “If you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. If you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack.”   “Your future growth and progress are now based in your understanding about the difference between the two ways in which you can measure yourself: against an ideal, which puts you in what I call ‘the GAP,’ and against your starting point, which puts you in ‘the GAIN,’ appreciating all that you’ve accomplished.” Takeaway: You don’t have to reinvent yourself overnight. You just have to notice how far you’ve already come. The empty nest isn’t an ending — it’s your invitation to come home to you again: wiser, deeper, and freer than ever. If you know you could use some support as you navigate both apathy and regret in the empty nest , email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call:. [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

In this episode, we explore boredom — that restless, itchy feeling that something’s missing, even when life is calm. After years of being needed and scheduled, the quiet can feel both freeing and frustrating. Boredom isn’t a sign of failure — it’s a sign of readiness. Your soul is waking up and looking for new places to pour your energy and creativity. Key Takeaways: Boredom is restlessness without direction — it means you have energy again but nowhere meaningful to place it yet. After years of structure and caretaking, your nervous system is adjusting to stillness. The remedy isn’t more busyness — it’s curiosity. Ask yourself: “What lights me up now?” Boredom can actually be a beautiful sign that you’ve rested enough to want more — it’s your inner spark flickering back on. Give yourself permission to be in the in-between — not rushing to fill the space, but allowing inspiration to find you again. Boredom is actually an invitation to explore the new and novel.  Reflection Questions: Where do I feel that flicker of curiosity or desire lately — even if it’s faint? What in my life feels predictable or stale? What feels dull or repetitive in my days right now? If I could design a day that felt engaging or alive, what would it include? Where am I secretly craving adventure or risk? What might feel playful or just for fun? Where am I desiring novelty, beauty, or creativity? What am I longing to learn, try, or express in this next season? What might delight me today? Try This: Shift your routine — change your scenery, your music, or the rhythm of your day. Give yourself permission to play again — try something new without the pressure to be good at it or to be “productive”.  Instead of asking, “What should I be doing?” ask, “What feels interesting or alive to me today?” Engage your senses — cook something new, take a different route, listen to live music, visit an art gallery, or simply sit in nature. Keep a “spark list” — jot down anything that stirs curiosity or delight, no matter how small. Get curious about the type of play you enjoy: Types of Play If you know you could use some support as you navigate both apathy and regret in the empty nest , email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

In this episode, we unpack the quiet heaviness of apathy — that feeling of being flat, uninspired, or simply tired of caring. It’s not laziness or lack of motivation; it’s often your body and soul asking for rest. After decades of constant motion — raising kids, managing households, giving your all — apathy can surface when a major season ends. It’s the body’s way of saying, “I need to reset before I embrace the next season.” Key Takeaways: Apathy often follows intense seasons of output — like your child’s senior year, college prep, or the emotional labor of letting go. It’s a signal that your energy reserves are low, not that something’s wrong with you. Explore which of the seven types of rest you’re craving most: Physical — Deep sleep, movement, relaxation Mental — Stepping away from constant decision-making Sensory — Reducing screen time, noise, and overstimulation Emotional — Allowing yourself to feel instead of performing Social — Spending time with people who replenish, not drain Creative — Seeking beauty and inspiration Spiritual — Reconnecting with meaning, purpose, or stillness When you nourish the type of rest you’ve been missing, energy and clarity naturally return. Remind yourself: “Of course I’m not broken — I’m exhausted from the last season and in-between seasons right now.” “It makes sense that I’m apathetic — I really need rest.” You may even be thinking, “Why bother?” That’s your cue to pause and listen with compassion. Reflection Questions: What feels meaningless right now? What used to light you up that’s feeling a little dim? Where have you been overgiving or overpouring your energy? Where have you been drained lately? What allows you to feel just a bit more awake or alive? Which form of rest have you been neglecting? What would one small act of restoration look like today? Try This: Detach from producing or outcomes and focus on what you’re feeling or experiencing. Focus on what feels restful or soothing. Focus on what helps you feel awake or alive — even in small ways. If you know you could use some support as you navigate apathy in the empty nest , email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

As our kids grow up and leave home, many parents find themselves reflecting on the past — replaying choices, wondering what they could have done differently, and questioning the paths they took.  In this episode, we explore the difference between guilt and regret — two emotions that often surface in the quiet of the empty nest, yet hold very different meanings and invitations. In This Episode, You’ll Discover: The subtle but powerful distinction between guilt (“I did something wrong and need to repair it”) and regret (“I wish I’d chosen differently”). REGRET is sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one's control or power to repair. GUILT is the fact of having done something wrong or the state of feeling responsible for it. How both guilt and regret can sometimes keep us stuck in self-blame and shame. Key Takeaway: Both guilt and regret can be powerful teachers — but only if we allow them to move us toward greater compassion and alignment, not punishment. Tune in if you’ve ever found yourself thinking: “I wish I’d been more present.” “Did I make the wrong choice for my family — or for me?” “How do I forgive myself for what I didn’t know then?”   If you know you could use some support as you navigate both regret and guilt in the empty nest , email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

In addition to struggling to redefine their identity/purpose and renegotiate their relationships and connections, empty-nesters may struggle to reimagine their new lifestyle and the structure of their days, weeks, and months.  They may feel: a loss of routine, structure, and a sense of accomplishment without daily parenting tasks. restlessness or boredom with too much unstructured time. temptation to indulge in/buffer their emotions with distractions like food, alcohol, shopping, social media, or “staying busy”.   I invite you to consider these questions: How do I want to play each day? How do I want to have fun each day? How do I want to rest each day? What are my essential few: Tasks Priorities Relationships Habits Routines ESSENTIALISM THE BIG LEAP If you know you could use some support as you navigate the empty nest stage with both confidence and self-confidence, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

There are three common challenges for empty-nesters: Losing one’s identity or purpose Missing convenient, organic relationships/craving meaningful connections Struggling with a new lifestyle and daily structure Relationships can feel challenging for empty-nesters if they: experience marital/long-term partnership shifts—sometimes feeling like they’re living with a stranger now that it’s just the two of them. crave deeper connection with adult children, yet don't know how to both honor their young adults’ independence while still feeling involved.  re-evaluate friendships that were centered around parenting.  If you know you could use some support as you navigate your relationships and connections in the empty nest stage with both confidence and self-confidence, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

I’ve noticed these three common challenges for empty-nesters: Losing one’s identity or purpose Missing convenient, organic relationships/craving meaningful connections Struggling with a new lifestyle and daily structure Identity and purpose is challenging for empty-nesters if they: are feeling like they’ve lost their sense of self after decades of being “mom first.” don’t know what their gifts, passions, or talents actually are. question their relevance and value now that their role as caregiver isn’t front and center. struggling to figure out what’s next in life. Your identity can be described as “the thoughts and beliefs you have about who you are and the roles you play.” Your identity can also be discerned by what you value.  Use the VALUES INVENTORY link below, I encourage you to complete this prompt: “I’m someone who values… “ VALUES INVENTORY Which of the following roles have you played/are currently playing? Family & Relationship Roles Daughter – navigating expectations, care, and family dynamics. Sister – support, rivalry, companionship. Wife/Partner – nurturing intimacy, managing household partnership. Mother – caregiving, guiding, protecting, and supporting children. Grandmother – mentoring, nurturing, and continuing traditions. Caregiver – often for aging parents or relatives. Personal Identity Roles Friend/Confidante – offering emotional support, connection, and loyalty. Self/Individual – the often-overlooked role of being herself, honoring her own needs, dreams, and growth. Creative/Artist – expressing imagination and soul through creativity. Learner/Seeker – continually pursuing knowledge, skills, or personal growth. Professional & Societal Roles Worker/Professional – career, business owner, or employee. Leader/Manager – guiding teams, organizations, or communities. Teacher/Mentor – formally or informally passing on wisdom. Community Builder/Volunteer – contributing to local or global causes. Inner & Archetypal Roles (These often show up in psychology, mythology, and coaching work.) The Nurturer – caring, giving, protecting. The Warrior – strong, resilient, advocating for self and others. The Lover – passionate, playful, intimate. The Sage – wise, reflective, guiding. The Creator – innovating, making, birthing new ideas. The Explorer – seeking freedom, adventure, discovery. What professional or personal role(s) do you want to play? What might prevent you from doing so? If you want to feel fulfilled and satisfied as an empty-nester, you must be willing to redine your identity and purpose OUTSIDE of family roles.  If you know you could use some support as you navigate the empty nest stage with both confidence and self-confidence, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

When do you notice struggling to discern or communicate what you really need? Here are a few questions that might provide some much-needed clarity: Am I willing to give myself the permission to have and communicate my needs? Am I worried that I’ll burden someone else? If I weren’t afraid of being a burden, what might I actually ask for? Am I willing to give myself the same compassion I offer to others? If my best friend felt the way I do right now, what might I offer? Do I need something along the lines of: Space? Support? Comfort? Clarity? Am I overwhelmed? Is my body tight, heavy, or agitated?  What does my body need in order to feel a bit more open, spacious, or lighter? Do I feel safe? What energizes me? What brings me joy? What age of me needs something right now? If you know you could use some support as you navigate the empty nest stage with both confidence and self-confidence, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

What if you’ve yet to meet the version of you who will actually love and thrive in the empty  nest stage of your life? But you might be wondering - how do I meet that version? How do I get to know her? You begin by spending as much time as possible in the present moment. Ask yourself: Am I focusing on something that’s happening in the present moment? Is everything I’m experiencing right now figureoutable? What am I enjoying NOW? How is this version of me growing and changing? If you know you could use some support as you navigate the empty nest stage with both confidence and self-confidence, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

It’s common for mothers of adult children to experience regret over having: worked outside of the home and missed time with their growing children left a career to stay home and raise children, thereby losing temporary or permanent professional traction We can either use regret as a catalyst to get curious about what we really value most and commit to creating that now, OR, we can stay stuck in disappointment and longing for a different past.  I invite you to consider these questions: What can I use my time, energy, and resources to create now? How willing am I to stop believing that NOW would be better or different if I had made a different choice back THEN? How willing am I to accept that I’ll never be able to prove with 100% certainty that I made the wrong/right decision? How might it have been the perfect decision to work outside the home? How might it have been the perfect decision to stay home with your kids? If you know you could use some support as you navigate the empty nest stage with both confidence and self-confidence, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

When we work from the “bottom up”, we clarify what we need to strengthen in our foundations in order to build a life that is sustainably enjoyable and satisfying.  As an empty-nester you may be tempted to fill your days, stay busy, or bring in tons of new things. But, I invite you to reflect on your last or current stage, and get curious regarding what activities, commitments, and relationships you want to: Keep? Let go of? Create anew? I invite you to consider these questions: How willing are you to focus on your foundational, essential few things in the empty nest stage? How willing are you to tell yourself the truth about what needs to change before you craft a new normal in the empty nest stage?   If you know you could use some support as you navigate the empty nest stage with both confidence and self-confidence, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

Confidence requires proof or evidence. Think of something you do really well and have evidence that you’re good at. You’re “confident” that you can do this thing well. Self-Confidence does NOT require evidence. It is the commitment to yourself that regardless of what happens or what someone else says or does, you will have your own back. We have our back by: Sleeping/resting Eating well/hydrating Exercising Monitoring our stress levels and calming or energizing our bodies when needed. Saying NO when something doesn’t align with our value or when we aren’t willing or capable of meeting an expectation. Talking kindly to ourselves. I invite you to consider these questions: What evidence do you have that you’re going to thrive in a new stage? How willing are you to have your own back in this new stage? If you know you could use some support as you navigate the empty nest stage with both confidence and self-confidence, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

To champion and thrive in the empty nest stage, we must be willing to identify and prioritize the essential few activities, passions, and relationships that truly matter the most.  ““The way of the Essentialist means living by design, not by default. Instead of making choices reactively, the Essentialist deliberately distinguishes the vital few from the trivial many, eliminates the nonessentials, and then removes obstacles so the essential things have clear, smooth passage. In other words, Essentialism is a disciplined, systematic approach for determining where our highest point of contribution lies, then making execution of those things almost effortless.” ― Greg McKeown, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less I invite you to consider these questions: What are you willing to say NO to? Who are you willing to say NO to? What needs to come off your plate? What do you intentionally want to prioritize going forward? If you know you could use some support as you navigate the empty nest stage, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

So often in dysfunctional families, the members cater to the most dysfunctional person in the group, allowing that individual to set the tone.  This can also occur in the workplace, friend circles, or in any group of people in which the members “walk on egg shells” to appease and/or prevent an emotionally immature reaction.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice investing your limited time, energy, and resources into the lowest common denominator? When do you allow someone who isn’t willing to increase their self-awareness to set the tone for your relationship? How willing are you to ignore emotionally immature behavior? How willing are you to challenge dysfunctional behavior with statements like: “That isn’t going to work for me.” “I’m not willing to do/accept that.” “I’m removing myself from this situation.” “I’m no longer available for this.” Where in your life are you changing your words/actions in order to align with the lowest common denominator or person in the room instead of holding yourself to a higher standard and challenging others to rise to that level? Where do you notice allowing others to set the tone in your relationships? If you know you could use some support as you navigate setting boundaries with and communicating your needs in emotionally dysfunctional relationships, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

We cannot delegate the determination of our value and worth to other people. It’s almost as if we’re acting like hourly employees in our relationships with others and people-pleasing them in order to be “paid” with admiration, validation, or respect.  We are the only ones who can determine our value and worth and create relationships that align with that value and worth.  As a life coach, I’ve determined what I charge for coaching. Potential clients then get to decide if they want to invest in coaching. But, I don’t lower my prices in order to convince them to hire me. I wait to align with the clients who are ready to invest in the value I offer.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice acting like an hourly employee in your relationships? How willing are you to determine your own worth and value? What might prevent you from accepting what you’re worth? If you know you could use some support as you identify your gifts and passions in the second half of life, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book   If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]   For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

The difference between rest/playing doing impactful “work” is experiencing the fulfillment that only comes when we challenge ourselves to utilize our gifts and talents.  When we rest, we are prioritizing these types of rest: The 7 Types of Rest You Need When we “play”, are are engaging in these types of activities: Find Your Play Personality But, when we’re engaged in impactful, meaningful “work”, we: Identify our natural gifts: What comes easily to you?  What do others seek you out to help them with? Use and develop our gifts: How can I apply my gifts? How willing am I to “squirm” and challenge myself to grow my gifts? Couple your gifts and passions (what you’re naturally curious about) to create a meaningful impact for another human being and feel fulfilled: Who might benefit from your passionate gifts? What is the smallest thing you can create that might impact another human?   If you know you could use some support as you identify your gifts and passions in the second half of life, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected]   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.    My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book   If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]   For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

There are two emotions I encourage you to practice feeling regularly in order to embrace life in the empty-nest stage: acceptance and willingness.  When we feel acceptance, we are thinking something along the lines of: “I’m no longer going to argue with what is or what I need to do in order to thrive.” We are more likely to: step out of resistance and a tendency to complain allow ourselves to feel all of our emotions and move through them tell the truth about our current circumstances And, we have a greater chance of creating: states of satisfaction, peace, success, and delight creating a new, better normal When we feel willingness, we are thinking something along the lines of: “I’m intentionally agreeing to this because it is necessary and valuable.” We are more likely to: get curious about the opportunities and possibilities in new chapters focus on what we can create And, we have a greater chance of: discovering the new, novel, and possible embracing exactly where we are If you know you could use some support as you identify your gifts and passions in the second half of life, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book   If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]   For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

We overcomplicate feeling “purposeful” as empty-nesters. The solution is pretty simple - identify your gifts (what comes so easily to you that you may disregard it), and learn how to apply your gifts to your passions (anything you’re curious about or drawn to).  We encounter resistance to living our passion when we lack the awareness of our passions and gifts, and or the willingness or ability to champion or embody one or both.  “Your gifts don’t tell you what areas of life you’re passionate about - your own eyes tell you that (what you’re drawn to and interested in, what you could learn and talk about all day). Your gifts tell you now to apply yourself and what to bring to those areas to be successful at them, because you’ll be providing the best possible value you are able to bring. Leading with the things you’re good at will always be the best way you could ever possibly be received.” Jenna Zoe Human Design: The Revolutionary System That Shows You Who You Came Here To Be I invite you to consider these questions: What comes easily to you? What do others compliment you for doing efficiently or easefully? What are you curious about? What do you naturally feel drawn or pulled to? What feels fun? What could you spend all day doing? When do you notice being most present? If you know you could use some support as you identify your gifts and passions in the second half of life, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

“Your self-concept is simply the collection of thoughts that you have about yourself. These thoughts make up your beliefs about you and who you are. Your self-concept determines how you feel and it determines the results that you get (or don’t get) for yourself.” Kristen Carder/Focused with Kristen Carder I encourage you to take about 5 minutes to complete the following exercise: Write down every thought or belief you have about yourself as an empty-nester - in other words, who you believe you’ll be, what you’ll be doing, what you want, etc.  Then, I invite you to read over your thoughts and beliefs with these questions in mind: Which of your thoughts/beliefs were “given” to you by someone else?  Do they serve you long-term? Which of your thoughts/beliefs are fear-based Inner Critic patterns? Inner Critic Assessment Do they serve you long-term? Which of your thoughts/beliefs actually allow you to feel hopeful, accepting, or excited about being an empty-nester? I also invite you to seek out empty-nesters who are thriving and ask them: What are you thinking or believing that is allowing you to thrive? What are you feeling or doing? What are you creating or prioritizing? If you know you could use some support as you clarify your own self-concept in the second half of life, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book   If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]   For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

“Freedom starts when you can identify the aggravation you’ve been accommodating for so long.” Danielle LaPorte When we’re “free”, we are intentional regarding how we invest our time, energy, and resources. When we’re “accodomating”, we’re buffering difficult emotions with unhelpful habits and choices.  I invite you to consider these questions: Where in your life do things feel inflamed or monotonously irritating? Why are you currently accommodating these aggravations? If you stop accommodating, what are you afraid others will think, say, or feel about you? If you know you could use some support and encouragement as you identify and release what is inflaming or irritating your life, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

We all struggle with decision-making at times, whether it’s packing for a trip, deciding what to spend money on, or what to change or shift in our lives.  Sometimes, decision-making can feel overwhelming, and even unsafe. Here are a few questions for your consideration: What narratives play in your mind surrounding decisions? (ie: “If you make the wrong decision, the consequences will be irreparable.”) How were you taught to make decisions? Whose voice is in your head when you’re trying to make a decision? What is this voice trying to keep you safe from? What perceived negative consequences are you trying to avoid by resisting making a decision? If you know you could use some support and encouragement with your own decision-making in order to make decisions that serve you long-term, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book   If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]   For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

We all tend to overcomplicate choices and decisions. But when we embrace the “just choose” mindset, we practice choosing BEFORE we have clarity or despite the fact that our choices may be imperfect.  I invite you to consider these questions: When do you notice not “just choosing” in your life? What clarity are you trying to find before you choose? What if clarity is only available during or after, and never before? If you know you could use some support and encouragement as you “just choose” and make decisions that serve you long-term, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected]   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.    My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book   If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]   For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory  

As mothers, we often resist asking for or receiving help because we don’t want to be a burden for others. Accepting help also frees us to work in our own Zone of Genius. You have the right to ask for and receive what feels like “help” to you.  Being in a state of hypervigilance can prevent us from asking for or receiving help. If we’ve experienced being let down by others, asking for help can feel too vulnerable.  If you know you could use some support and encouragement as you practice willingness to be helped, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected] Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book   If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]   For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

Time Anxiety is a psychological condition characterized by a feeling of uneasiness, fear or dread related to the passage of time. It’s associated with the feeling of being rushed, stressed and anxious about not having enough time to accomplish goals, or effectively use one’s time.  Which of these symptoms are you experiencing: feeling rushed and stressed? fearing missing deadlines or being late? worried about not having adequate time? stressing that you’re not making the best use of your time in your life? obsessing over not being productive enough? struggling to manage time? Causes of time anxiety: perfectionism and high standards generalized anxiety disorder fear of failure lack of time management skills unrealistic expectations Consequences of struggling with time anxiety: exhaustion and burnout reduced productivity social isolation strained relationships How to manage time anxiety: Be intentional about noticing when you’re ruminating and experiencing stuck and looping thoughts.  Identify and learn to manage your Inner Critic: Inner Critic Assessment Learn how to regulate your nervous system: Breathing Tapping Move and speak more slowly.  Reach out to a therapist or coach for help and support.  If you know you could use some support and encouragement as you manage time anxiety, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call: [email protected]   Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.    Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.    My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book   If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]   For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory