Breaking the Silence

Why do you still miss someone who hurt you?Maybe they lied.Maybe they pulled away.Maybe they left you feeling anxious, confused, or emotionally unsafe.Logically, you know the relationship wasn't healthy. So why does part of you still miss them?In this episode of Breaking the Silence, we're having an honest conversation about why healing can feel so confusing after a painful relationship. We explore how attachment wounds, grief, trauma bonds, and your nervous system can all play a role in why letting go isn't always as simple as walking away.In this episode, we discuss:• Why your nervous system can miss someone who hurt you• The difference between emotional relief and emotional safety• Attachment wounds and how they affect healing• Why you may be grieving potential more than reality• Trauma bonds and intermittent reinforcement• Why healing isn't a straight lineIf you've ever wondered, "What's wrong with me? Why do I still miss them?" we hope this conversation reminds you that you're not broken.Missing someone doesn't mean they were right for you.It doesn't mean you should go back.Sometimes it simply means you're grieving, healing, and learning what safe love actually feels like.Grab a cup of coffee and join us for this week's conversation.We send you off with so much love.

Have you ever found yourself staring at your phone wondering if they're ever going to reach out?Maybe weeks have passed.Maybe months.Maybe even years.And somewhere along the way, you've found yourself asking:Why do avoidants come back after a breakup?In this episode of Breaking the Silence, Raynea and Kelli have an honest conversation about what may be happening beneath the surface when an avoidant partner leaves and later returns.Together, they explore:• Why avoidants often experience relief after a breakup• Why feelings sometimes surface much later• The difference between missing someone and actually changing• Why some avoidants return for comfort and familiarity• What it means if they never come back• The powerful question that can change your healing journeyIf you've been waiting for closure, hoping for a text, or wondering what it means when an avoidant comes back, this episode is for you.Because healing isn't about whether they return.It's about asking:"If they came back today, would the relationship actually be different?"❤️ Free Resource: 10 Minutes to Feel HeldIf you're carrying grief, emotional overwhelm, fear of abandonment, or simply need a moment to breathe and reconnect with yourself, I've created a free guided audio called 10 Minutes to Feel Held.It's a gentle space to pause, reflect, and be reminded that you don't have to carry everything alone.🎧 Download it here:10 Minutes to Feel HeldI pray it brings you a little peace today.-Raynea

Have you ever been left wondering, "Why didn't they just tell me?"In this episode of Breaking the Silence, we're exploring one of the most painful dynamics in relationships: when someone leaves without ever communicating what was happening beneath the surface.Many people assume relationships end because there were no solutions. But sometimes relationships end because the conversation never happened.We'll talk about why vulnerability can feel so difficult for someone with avoidant attachment, why concerns often stay hidden until it's too late, and why leaving can sometimes feel safer than having a hard conversation.If you've ever been blindsided by a breakup, left searching for answers, or questioned your worth because someone walked away without communicating, this episode is for you.You'll learn:• Why avoidants often struggle to express vulnerable emotions• The difference between relief and clarity• How unspoken fears can quietly build inside a relationship• Why communication feels threatening for some people• What healing and emotional honesty look like in relationshipsMost importantly, you'll be reminded that someone else's inability to communicate is not a reflection of your worth.Because healthy love isn't built on mind reading.It's built on honesty.10 Minutes to Feel Held

Have you ever felt like someone went from loving and connected to distant and cold almost overnight?In this episode, Raynea and Kelli explore why avoidant attachment can create this painful shift, what deactivation actually is, and why so many people feel blindsided when an avoidant partner suddenly pulls away.Together, they discuss the nervous system, fear of intimacy, emotional withdrawal, the anxious-avoidant cycle, and the important difference between understanding someone's wounds and abandoning yourself in the process.If you've ever found yourself asking, "What happened?" or "Was any of it real?" this conversation is for you.

What if your body reacts before your mind even understands what’s happening?You meet someone you care about…and suddenly you feel anxious, overwhelmed, emotionally shut down, or like you need to pull away.Nothing looks wrong on the outside.But inside, your nervous system is sounding alarms.In this episode, Raynea and Kelli talk about why your body responds so quickly in relationships, how attachment wounds and past pain shape your nervous system, and why you’re not “crazy” or overreacting.Your body is trying to protect you.We discuss:• why your nervous system asks “am I safe?” before anything else• how past abandonment, inconsistency, grief, and relationship pain affect the body• why some people cling tighter while others pull away• practical ways to regulate your nervous system when triggered• how to slow down and respond instead of react• bringing God into the healing process• simple ways to create emotional safety in your bodyThis episode is filled with practical, gentle tools to help you feel more grounded, connected, and aware of what’s happening inside of you.And if you need a place to start, Raynea also shares her guided practice, 10 Minutes to Feel Held, linked in the show notes.If this episode encouraged you, make sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs this reminder today.We send you off with so much love.10 Minutes to Feel Held

Do you love God and still struggle with anxiety, emotional triggers, or feeling unsafe in relationships?You’re not broken.And your faith isn’t weak.Sometimes your spirit trusts God…while your nervous system is still responding to grief, trauma, abandonment, or relationship wounds.In this episode, Raynea and Kelli talk about why your body may not feel safe even when there’s no immediate danger, how attachment wounds impact your nervous system, and what scripture says about healing, rest, and emotional safety.We discuss:• why survival responses show up in relationships• what fight, flight, freeze, and fawn can look like• why faith should never be used to bypass healing• scriptures to return to when anxiety rises• practical ways to regulate your nervous system with GodIf you’ve ever wondered why you still feel triggered even though you pray, trust God, and want peace… this episode is for you.FREE RESOURCE:10 Minutes to Feel HeldA guided audio + prayer resource to help you feel grounded when anxiety, grief, or overwhelm rises.CLICK HEREConnect with us on Instagram:Raynea: https://www.instagram.com/rayneawallaceKelli: https://www.instagram.com/alohagrayResource mentioned in this episode:He Calls Me DaughterListen to Breaking the Silence:Spotify: CLICK HERE Apple Podcasts: CLICK HERE YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@breakingthesilencewithraynea

Why do some people shut down and walk away… while others leave, come back, and repeat the same cycle?If you’ve ever felt confused by avoidant behavior in relationships, this episode will help you make sense of what’s actually happening underneath.Not all avoidant attachment patterns are the same.In this bonus episode, Raynea breaks down the difference between dismissive avoidant and fearful avoidant attachment so you can better understand relationship patterns, emotional triggers, and nervous system responses in love.You’ll learn why one pattern tends to detach and avoid connection, while the other moves through a push-pull cycle of wanting closeness and then feeling overwhelmed by it.This episode also connects to our May focus on nervous system healing and trauma-informed faith, helping you see how your body responds to emotional safety, vulnerability, and connection.Inside this episode:• the difference between dismissive avoidant and fearful avoidant attachment• why dismissive avoidants shut down, withdraw, or avoid emotional intimacy• why fearful avoidants leave and then question their decision• what the push-pull dynamic looks like in relationships• how attachment styles are connected to nervous system responses• small, practical steps each style can take toward emotional safety and healing• how to stop making decisions from emotional overwhelmIf you’ve ever wondered:Why do they pull away when things feel close?Why do they come back after leaving?Why does love feel confusing or inconsistent?This episode will give you clarity, language, and practical insight you can start using right away.You are not too much.You are not asking for too much.And you are not broken.Your nervous system learned how to protect you.And it can learn how to feel safe again.—Listen to more episodes of Breaking the Silence on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.Connect with Raynea on Instagram: @RayneaWallaceConnect with Kelli on Instagram: @alohagrayIf this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs clarity in their relationships or is trying to understand attachment styles and emotional triggers.We send you off with so much love.

If you’ve ever asked yourself…“Why do I overthink everything in relationships?”“Why do I panic when someone pulls away?”“Why do I shut down when things feel too close?”“Why do I feel triggered by things that seem small?”This episode is for you.In this week’s episode of Breaking the Silence, Raynea and Kelli are unpacking the connection between attachment styles and nervous system regulation and why you may not be overreacting at all… you may be dysregulated.They break down how this shows up in anxious attachment, fearful avoidant attachment, and dismissive avoidant attachment and explain why your body can respond to relationship triggers as if danger is happening right now.Raynea shares how the nervous system can feel like a bear is chasing you, even when there’s no actual threat, and how old wounds, grief, trauma, abandonment, and past relationship pain can keep your body stuck in survival mode.They also talk about:• nervous system dysregulation in relationships• trauma responses and emotional triggers• healing anxious attachment• healing avoidant attachment• fearful avoidant attachment patterns• how trauma is stored in the body• faith and emotional healing• how God created your nervous system• how God meets you in moments of anxiety, fear, and emotional activation• practical tools to regulate your nervous system and move toward secure attachmentHealing is about teaching your body that you are safe now.And most importantly… remembering that God meets you right in the middle of your healing journey.If this episode resonated with you and you’re looking for a simple way to begin feeling grounded and supported, download my free resource, 10 Minutes to Feel Held, a guided prayer and grounding experience created to help you regulate your nervous system and reconnect with God in moments of overwhelm. I’ll share the link below.10 Minutes to Feel Held And if you’d like to connect further, you can find me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/RayneaWallaceWe’re so grateful you’re here. We send you off with so much love.

Motherhood comes with a kind of guilt that most women never say out loud.The quiet kind.The guilt when you feel overwhelmed.The guilt when you need space.The guilt when your kids are struggling.The guilt when you want something for yourself.In this episode, Raynea and Kelli talk honestly about why so many mothers feel responsible for everyone’s emotional world.They walk through:• How attachment shapes this pattern• How guilt shows up in real, everyday moments• The added weight of grief and blended families• How faith helps you release what was never yours to carryThis is a conversation that will help you slow down and notice where guilt has been running the show… and begin to loosen its grip.You were never meant to carry it all.If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stretched thin, Raynea also shares “10 Minutes to Feel Held” inside the episode. A simple way to ground yourself, regulate your nervous system, and reconnect with God.We send you off with so much love. Click here to be Held

Who are you… outside of everything and everyone that depends on you?In this episode, we’re having an honest conversation about what happens when your identity slowly becomes wrapped up in caring for everyone else. If you’ve spent years showing up as the one who holds it all together, you may find yourself wondering when you stopped asking what you need… or who you even are anymore.We talk about how this shift happens so quietly in motherhood, relationships, and caregiving. How you become the one who remembers everything, manages everyone’s emotions, and keeps life moving… while slowly losing connection with yourself.We also open up about how grief can deepen this experience. When loss forces you into survival mode, there often isn’t space to process your own needs or desires. You just keep going.But this episode isn’t just about what’s been lost.It’s about beginning again.We talk about:• How identity gets shaped through caregiving and survival• The guilt many women feel when they want something for themselves• Why reconnecting with yourself is not selfish• Small, gentle ways to start rediscovering who you areYou’ll be reminded that God didn’t create you to only exist for others. You are allowed to be a mother, a caregiver, and a whole person with your own desires, dreams, and identity.If you’ve been feeling like a version of yourself got left behind somewhere along the way… this conversation is for you.And if you need a place to start, Raynea shares a simple resource, “10 Minutes to Feel Held,” to help you slow down, breathe, and reconnect with God in the middle of it all.You’re not lost.You’re still in there.We send you off with so much love.

What if love… doesn’t come instantly?In blended families, we’re often told everything should just “fall into place.”But what happens when it doesn’t?In this episode of Breaking the Silence, Raynea and Kelli have an honest conversation about the reality of blending families — when connection is slow, emotions are layered, and attachment takes time.Raynea shares from her experience fostering for 8 years and adopting 5 children, while Kelli opens up about blending her family — bringing her son into a marriage where her husband had two children of his own.Together, they unpack why attachment can feel complicated, how children process change and loss, and the quiet pressure mothers carry to make everything work.If it feels harder than you expected…you’re not alone.And you’re not doing it wrong.💛 Plus, a gentle invitation into 10 Minutes to Feel Held — a free guided prayer and reflection to help you rest and reconnect when you’re carrying so much.10 Minutes to Feel Held

Motherhood isn’t always the fairytale we were promised.In this episode of Breaking the Silence, Raynea and Kelli talk about what happens when motherhood includes grief, loss, divorce, betrayal, blended families, financial fear, or becoming the only stable parent overnight.You can love your children deeply…And still grieve the way your story unfolded.If you’ve ever thought:• “This wasn’t supposed to look like this.”• “Why do I feel exhausted even when I’m doing everything right?”• “Who am I outside of who everyone needs me to be?”This conversation is for you.In this episode, we talk about:• Grieving the motherhood you imagined• Losing a spouse and raising children alone• How survival mode reshapes identity• When your worth becomes tied to productivity• Emotional exhaustion in single motherhood• Reclaiming identity in midlife• Faith, healing, and remembering you are a whole womanMotherhood doesn’t have to be the place you disappear.It can be the place you deepen.But only if you untie your worth from what you provide.💛 Need a moment to feel held?If this episode stirred something in you, I created something simple and gentle for you.10 Minutes to Feel Held is a short guided prayer and reflection designed for tired moms who are constantly pouring out and rarely poured into.You don’t have to be strong.You don’t have to fix anything.You just get to sit and let God hold the parts of you that feel heavy.Click here to access 10 Minutes to Feel Held:(Perfect for before bed, in the car, or in the quiet moments you rarely give yourself.)If this episode encouraged you, please share it with another woman who is mothering through something hard. Leaving a review helps more women find this space.We’re so grateful you’re here.

What happens to your faith when God doesn’t answer the way you prayed?It’s a question many people carry… but few feel safe enough to say out loud.In this episode of Breaking the Silence, Raynea and Kelli have an honest conversation about what it looks like to wrestle with faith after loss. When prayers for healing, miracles, or more time don’t unfold the way we hoped, it can leave our hearts trying to reconcile deep pain with the goodness of God.Raynea shares her personal story of praying desperately for healing for both her son and her husband, and the complicated reality of believing God is still good even when the outcome isn’t what we asked for.Together, they explore:• Wrestling with God after loss• Why questioning doesn’t mean your faith is gone• How grief and attachment styles can shape the way we relate to God• The tension between trusting God’s sovereignty and aching over His timing• Finding faith again when prayers feel unansweredIf you’ve ever felt guilt for questioning God, wondered why your miracle didn’t come, or struggled to pray after losing someone you love, this conversation is for you.You are not broken.You are grieving.And sometimes faith after loss simply looks like choosing to stay.🎙️ Breaking the Silence is a space for women navigating grief, faith, healing, and relationships after loss. New episodes of Breaking the Silence release on Wednesdays, with intentional pauses built into the month for rest and reflection, because healing isn’t meant to be rushed.

Parenting after loss is a layer of grief no one prepares you for.In this episode of Breaking the Silence, Raynea and Kelli talk about what it really looks like to raise children while navigating grief, widowhood, trauma, and nervous system overwhelm.If you’re a mom grieving the loss of a spouse, child, relationship, or dream — and secretly wondering,“Am I messing my kids up because I’m grieving?”this conversation is for you.In this episode, we discuss:• Parenting while grieving and the invisible pressure to “hold it together”• How grief reshapes attachment styles in motherhood• Hypervigilance, overprotectiveness, and emotional shutdown• Trauma responses and nervous system regulation after loss• The fear of “what if it happens again?”• Guilt for laughing, resting, or not having emotional energy• Modeling emotional regulation and resilience for your children• Christian grief and trusting God while raising kids through heartbreakGrief doesn’t remove responsibility.It multiplies it.But your children do not need a perfect parent.They need a present one.Whether you are navigating widowhood, parenting after spouse loss, child loss, divorce, or ambiguous loss — you are not broken. You are grieving.🎧 New episodes on Wednesdays — with intentional pause weeks for rest and reflection. We talk about grief healing, attachment theory, nervous system healing, faith after loss, and emotional resilience for women walking through hard things.

Why does grief still hurt — even years later?In this episode of Breaking the Silence, we’re unpacking how grief reshapes attachment — and why healing after loss doesn’t follow a timeline.If you’ve ever wondered:• “Why am I still grieving?”• “Why do I feel more anxious in relationships now?”• “Did losing them change my attachment style?”You are not alone.Grief doesn’t just affect your thoughts — it impacts your nervous system, your relationships, and your sense of safety.After loss, many women notice:• Increased anxious attachment• Emotional guarding or avoidance• Fear of losing someone again• Feeling triggered in new relationships• Or confusion about why they’re “not over it”But this isn’t regression.It’s your body trying to protect you.In this episode, Raynea and Kelli talk about:• How grief disrupts attachment styles• Why healing doesn’t follow a timeline• How trauma affects your nervous system• Why attachment can wake grief back up• And how faith and grief can coexistYou are not behind.You are not broken.You are grieving.And grieving reshapes attachment before it reshapes understanding.If you’re navigating loss, relationships after grief, or healing from trauma, this conversation will help you feel seen.

If love has ever felt like anxiety, this conversation is for you.In this episode, we talk about why so many of us learned to chase perfection—not because we’re controlling or “too much,” but because somewhere along the way, love felt inconsistent. And when love feels unpredictable, our nervous systems do what they can to stay safe.We explore how fear of abandonment shows up in relationships and even in our faith, why performance can never create real security, and how consistency—not perfection—is what actually heals.Because healing doesn’t happen when you finally get everything right.It happens when love proves it will stay.If this month stirred something in you, this episode is a gentle exhale—a reminder that you are not broken, you adapted. And you don’t have to rush your way into safety.You were never meant to be perfect to be loved.🤍

What if the problem was never that you were “too much”…What if your nervous system simply learned a different language of love?In this episode of Breaking the Silence, Raynea and Kelli gently explore what secure love actually feels like—not as a definition or diagnosis, but as a lived, embodied experience.Together, they get curious about the patterns many of us grew up with: love that felt intense, unpredictable, or required constant vigilance. They talk about why calm can feel suspicious, why consistency can feel underwhelming, and why safety sometimes feels unfamiliar when chaos was once normal.This conversation isn’t about fixing yourself or labeling your attachment style. It’s about releasing shame and asking kinder questions—of your body, your story, and even God.You’ll hear about:Why secure love often feels quiet instead of excitingHow the nervous system clings to what’s familiar—even when it’s painfulWhy walking away from healthy love isn’t self-sabotage, but protectionHow curiosity softens shame and opens the door to healingA gentle faith lens on unfamiliar peace and steady loveThere’s no pressure here. No checklist. No “do better.”Just an invitation to notice, to get curious, and to remember:You’re not behind. You’re becoming.

Have you ever felt like the more you lean in, the more someone pulls away?Or the moment you take space, someone panics?In this episode of Breaking the Silence, Raynea and Kelli gently unpack what’s often called the anxious–avoidant dance....not to label or diagnose you, but to name a pattern so you can finally stop thinking you are the problem.Together, they talk honestly about:what anxious and avoidant attachment actually look like in real lifewhy texting and conflict can feel so activatinghow both sides are simply trying to feel safe, using opposite strategiesand why not responding right away is somethmes a capacity issueThey also share personal insight around fearful-avoidant attachment, earned security, and what it looks like to care deeply while learning to honor your nervous system.This is a shame-free conversation for anyone who:feels conflicted inside relationshipsloves deeply but tires easilywants connection and needs spaceis learning how to feel safe with themselves againYou’ll leave with a sense of clarity, compassion, and a few gentle anchor questions to return to when things feel confusing. No pressure, no fixing, just awareness.We’re not rushing.We’re not proving.We’re healing.And as always… we send you off with so much love. 🤍

What are you carrying into 2026… and what are you finally ready to put down?In this episode, Raynea and Kelli sit down for an honest, faith-rooted conversation about the things so many women are holding right now—pressure, grief, emotional exhaustion, and the quiet fear of not being “okay” yet.Together, we talk about what we’re bringing with us into this new year (real healing, secure faith, honest relationship work, and even laughter)… and what we’re leaving behind (performing strength, rushing the process, self-abandonment, and the need to overexplain our pain).This isn’t an announcement. It’s an invitation.If you’ve been doing everything alone, let this be your reminder: you don’t have to anymore. 🤍

A conversation about obedience, rest, and trusting God when the next step isn’t clear.Sometimes the most faithful thing we can do is pause.In this episode, I share what a season of quiet revealed, what I expected God to say, what surprised me, and how obedience in this season looked more like being than doing.If you’ve been feeling tired, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next step, this conversation is an invitation to breathe, listen, and trust that God is still working in the silence..

A new season of Breaking the Silence.A space for honest conversations about faith, healing, grief, relationships, and the quiet seasons that shape us.New episodes begin January 21.

As we close out this year, Kelli and I sat down for one last episode — a tender, honest conversation about what it means to navigate this season holding both grief and joy. With Raynea's son's wedding just around the corner, there’s so much excitement for what’s ahead — love, new beginnings, and celebration. But there’s also that quiet ache for who’s missing, for the moments we wish they could still be part of. We talk about honoring the past without getting stuck there, looking forward with hope, and learning to live in the beautiful, bittersweet “and.” Because life really is both — grief and joy, loss and love, endings and new beginnings.This is our final episode of the year, and what a year it’s been. Thank you for showing up, listening, and sharing your hearts with us. We’ll be taking a little break to rest, reflect, and celebrate the season — and we’ll be back in January 2026 with more conversations from the heart.

After loss, the thought of dating again can feel… complicated. There’s the guilt, the fear of getting hurt again, and the worry about how your kids will handle it — all tangled up with the quiet hope that maybe, just maybe, your heart could open again someday.In this episode, we're talking honestly about what it’s like to even consider dating after loss — especially when you still have kids at home. From knowing when (or if) you’re ready, to navigating your children’s feelings, to rediscovering the parts of yourself that still long for connection — we’re breaking the silence on what this season really looks like.Because moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting. You can hold grief in one hand and hope in the other — and still believe that love, in its own time, can find you again. 💞

This week’s episode is packed with so many good things — from the upcoming wedding and all the joy and excitement surrounding it, to the sweet (and sometimes funny) ways we show love through our little “terms of endearment.” 💕I even make my singing debut in this one (you’ve been warned! 😂). Normally, this time of year can feel really heavy for me, but this season, there’s a sense of excitement and joy that feels brand new. Kelli and I share laughs, real emotions, and everything in between — it’s one of those episodes that just makes your heart feel full. ✨

Grab your coffee and settle in, because Raynea and Kelli are pulling questions straight from the jar — and nothing’s off-limits! From hilarious childhood memories to the faith-filled moments that shaped them, this episode is a rollercoaster of laughter, vulnerability, and heart. It’s real, it’s raw, and it’s exactly what Breaking the Silence is all about — finding connection, healing, and a whole lot of joy in the middle of it all.

It’s just me this week—and I’m spilling the tea from my younger years that I’ve never shared before. Let’s just say… if you’ve ever wondered how your attachment style might’ve shaped your love life, this one’s going to hit home.I’m diving into the ways I sabotaged a relationship without even realizing it—and the powerful lessons that surfaced once I understood why. 💭We’re wrapping up our deep dive into attachment styles with this final solo episode before Kelli’s back next week, and trust me—you don’t want to miss the plot twist in this story.Tune in for a little laughter, a little cringe, and a whole lot of self-awareness. 🎙️Books on Attachment: Attached by Dr. Amir Levine The New Rules of Attachment by Dr. Judy HoAnxiously Attached by Jessica Baum, LMHCThe Anxious Hearts Guide by Rikki CloysThe Inner WorkThe Inner Work of Relationships**You can find these books on Amazon**Creators on social media that I found helpful on my journey:Dr. Sarah Hensley (She is on all platforms). Her website is thelovedoc.comJimmy on Relationships (on all platforms)Jbirdfit (On all platforms)Anxious Hearts Guide (TikTok and IG) (She was anxious and her partner was dismissive avoidant and they now have a healthy relationship)Mack (on TikTok)Natashavctoria (TikTok)

When someone sees us up close, the mirror doesn’t lie. Relationships have a way of exposing the hurts we’ve hidden and the patterns we’d rather ignore. In this episode, we’ll step into those uncomfortable reflections—why they surface, what they’re trying to teach us, and how facing them can become the doorway to deeper healing and truer connection.Books on Attachment: Attached by Dr. Amir Levine The New Rules of Attachment by Dr. Judy HoAnxiously Attached by Jessica Baum, LMHCThe Anxious Hearts Guide by Rikki Cloys**You can find these books on Amazon**Creators on social media that I found helpful on my journey:Dr. Sarah Hensley (She is on all platforms). Her website is thelovedoc.comMack (on TikTok)Jbirdfit (On all platforms)Natashavctoria (TikTok)Anxious Hearts Guide (TikTok and IG) (She was anxious and her partner was dismissive avoidant and they now have a healthy relationship)

In this episode Kelli and I talk about the surgery I’m having today. We also share about the hard but beautiful truth that sometimes we simply can’t do it all on our own.I open up about those first days after Dave died, when I knew I couldn’t raise four kids without a village. Admitting I needed help was one of the most humbling moments of my life, but also where I saw God’s faithfulness the clearest.Join us for an honest conversation about surrender, community, and the quiet courage it takes to say, “I can’t do this alone.”🙏 Your prayers for my surgery and recovery mean more than I can say.

This week’s episode took a surprise turn. Kelli and I had a different episode planned, but life had other ideas. Instead, we found ourselves talking through some of the really raw and challenging moments of being a mom—the ones that can feel heavy and lonely. 💛To every mom out there carrying so much: we see you, we get it, and you are not alone.And because sometimes the only way through the hard stuff is to laugh, we shifted gears and swapped random childhood stories, the kind that make you forget the weight for a minute and just breathe.It’s unplanned, a little messy, and completely real—like motherhood itself.☕ Grab your coffee, settle in, and join us for a dose of real talk and laughter.

We’re continuing the conversation from last week about how fearful and dismissive avoidants use deactivating strategies when closeness starts to feel overwhelming. For avoidants, caring too much or fearing rejection often triggers the instinct to pull back—because distance feels safer than vulnerability.In this episode, Raynea and Kelli walk through 21 different ways avoidants create space in relationships, from slowing down texts and ghosting to picking fights, withholding affection, or downplaying the importance of the relationship. These patterns can be subtle, like surface-level conversations, or more obvious, like cheating or emotional withdrawal—but all serve the same purpose: self-protection.If you’ve ever wondered why avoidants seem to back away just when things are going well, this episode will bring clarity, compassion, and a deeper understanding of what’s really happening beneath the surface.If you found value in this conversation please be sure to subscribe, leave a comment, and share this with someone else that needs to hear it. You can find me on IG @coachingwithrayneaBooks on Attachment: Attached by Dr. Amir Levine The New Rules of Attachment by Dr. Judy HoAnxiously Attached by Jessica Baum, LMHCThe Anxious Hearts Guide by Rikki Cloys**You can find these books on Amazon**Creators on social media that I found helpful on my journey:Dr. Sarah Hensley (She is on all platforms). Her website is thelovedoc.comMack (on TikTok)Jbirdfit (On all platforms)Natashavctoria (TikTok)Anxious Hearts Guide (TikTok and IG) (She was anxious and her partner was dismissive avoidant and they now have a healthy relationship)

Have you ever been in a relationship where everything feels amazing one day… and then suddenly, the other person goes quiet, distant, or even picks a fight out of nowhere? Yeah, that’s what we’re talking about today.In this episode, Kelli and I dive into the world of avoidant deactivation—what happens when fearful and dismissive avoidants start pulling back in relationships. We share:The real reasons behind why avoidants shut down.How fearful avoidants and dismissive avoidants deactivate differently.Real-life examples you might recognize in yourself—or someone you love.Better ways to ask for space without pushing someone away completely.This isn’t about shaming anyone—it’s about shining a light on patterns that so many of us fall into and learning how to move toward healthier, safer connections.So grab your coffee, lean in, and let’s talk about what really happens when we pull away.If this episode reasonates with you please be sure to like, follow and share with someone that needs to hear it.

If you could sit down with your younger self, what would you say? In this episode, Kelli and I each share some powerful pieces of wisdom we wish we had known 10 years ago. From lessons learned through pain to truths that set us free, we open up about the insights that shaped our journeys. We end with an invitation for you to reflect on your own “lesson learned” and how it might guide your path forward today.

Kelli and I had such a real conversation today about that little dash between the day we’re born and the day we leave this earth. That dash is our one life—what are we doing with it? We talk about being intentional with our time and our words, treasuring the moments with the people we love, and making sure no one ever has to wonder how we feel. It’s about living full out, being bold, and not wasting the gift of each day we’re given.If you found value in my podcast be sure to follow, share and leave a review. If you'd like to connect further you can find me on Instagram @coachingwithraynea.

Your identity isn’t up for debate — it’s already been spoken over you by God. But if we’re honest, the voices of others can feel louder than His sometimes. In today’s episode, we’ll dive into why we care so much about what people think, how to untangle our worth from approval, and how the Let Them mindset can help us walk in freedom. If you’re ready to stop shrinking to fit into other people’s boxes and start standing in who God says you are, this episode is for you. Identity as a Child of God:Child of God: Romas 8:16 and John 1:12 affirm that believers are children of GodAdopted Child: Ephesians 1:5 state that believers are adopted as God's children.Heir: Romans 8:17 says that believers are heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ.Friend of Jesus: John 15:15 says that believers are friends of Jesus.United with Christ: 1 Corinthians 6:17 says that believers are united with the LordComplete in Christ: Colosians 2: 9-10 says that believers are complete in Christ.Redeemed and Forgiven: Colosians 1:13-14 says that believers have been redeemed and forgiven.Sealed by the Holy Spirit: Ephesians 1:13 says that believers are sealed with the Holy Spirit.Temple of the Holy Spirit: Corinthians 6:19 says that believers bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.Chosen by God: Ephesians 1:4, 11 sasys that believers are chosen by God. Justified: Romans 5:1 says that believers have been justified.New Creation: 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that believers are a new creation.Free from Condemnation: Romans 8:1-2 says that believers are free from condemnation.Citizens of Heaven: Phillippians 3:20 says that believers are citizens of heaven.Blessed: Ephesians 1:3 says that believers are blessed with every spiritual blessing. Fearfully and Wonderfully Made: Psalm 139:14 says that believers are fearfully and wonderfully made. Worth More Than Sparrow: Matthew 10:31 says that believers are worth more than many sparrows.If you found value in my podcast be sure to follow, share and leave a review. If you'd like to connect further you can find me on Instagram @coachingwithraynea.

What do you do when the last child leaves the house—and the quiet sets in? And what if you're still raising kids, but you've already walked five out the door?In this heartfelt episode, Kelli shares what it’s been like watching her stepdaughter—the last to leave—step into adulthood, officially making her a new member of the empty nest club. I (Raynea) reflect on the journey of launching five grown kids, while still in the midst of raising two at home. Together, we explore what it means to let go, redefine our roles, and grieve the shifting identity that comes with each stage of motherhood.Whether your home is quiet or still full of noise and needs, this episode will remind you: you’re not alone in this in-between.

What does it actually look like to feel secure in love, in friendship, in parenting—even in your relationship with God? After talking through the different attachment wounds, today we’re shifting the focus to something so many of us are craving: secure attachment.In this episode, Kelli and I are unpacking:💡 What secure attachment is (and what it isn’t)🧠 The mindset and nervous system of someone who feels safe in love📱 Real-life examples of how secure people respond to triggers and conflict🌿 How to begin developing secure traits—even if you weren’t raised with themHealing is possible. Security is learnable. And love doesn’t have to feel like a battlefield. 💛Books on Attachment: Attached by Dr. Amir Levine The New Rules of Attachment by Dr. Judy HoAnxiously Attached by Jessica Baum, LMHCThe Anxious Hearts Guide by Rikki Cloys**You can find these books on Amazon**Creators on social media that I found helpful on my journey:Dr. Sarah Hensley (She is on all platforms). Her website is thelovedoc.comMack (on TikTok)Jbirdfit (On all platforms)Natashavctoria (TikTok)Anxious Hearts Guide (TikTok and IG) (She was anxious and her partner was dismissive avoidant and they now have a healthy relationship)

Have you ever felt torn between craving closeness and wanting to run the moment someone gets too close? Or maybe you’ve loved someone who’s hot and cold—chasing connection one minute and pulling away the next? In this episode, Kelli and I are unpacking the fearful avoidant attachment style, where the need for connection and the fear of being hurt exist side by side.We’re diving into:⚡ How fearful avoidant attachment forms💔 The inner push-pull that can feel like emotional whiplash👣 How trauma and betrayal shape this style🔄 Why relationships feel intense, unstable, and hard to trust🌱 And what healing looks like when you’ve never felt truly safe—either with others or with yourselfLet’s talk about it. Because it’s not about being “too much” or “too broken”—it’s about survival patterns that can be unlearned.Books on Attachment: Attached by Dr. Amir Levine The New Rules of Attachment by Dr. Judy HoAnxiously Attached by Jessica Baum, LMHCThe Anxious Hearts Guide by Rikki Cloys**You can find these books on Amazon**Creators on social media that I found helpful on my journey:Dr. Sarah Hensley (She is on all platforms). Her website is thelovedoc.comMack (on TikTok)Jbirdfit (On all platforms)Natashavctoria (TikTok)Anxious Hearts Guide (TikTok and IG) (She was anxious and her partner was dismissive avoidant and they now have a healthy relationship)

Do you ever feel like you're too much in relationships? Like you're constantly overthinking, needing reassurance, or afraid someone might leave—even if they haven’t said a word? If that sounds familiar, you might be navigating anxious attachment. In today’s episode, Kelli and I are pulling back the curtain on this deeply emotional and often misunderstood attachment style.We’re talking about:💔 Why anxious attachment forms (and why it’s not your fault)📱 What it looks like in day-to-day life: the texts, the spirals, the second-guessing🧠 How it plays out in love, parenting, and even our walk with God🛠️ Tools to move from anxious to anchored💬 And the truth: your need for connection isn’t too much. It’s human.Let’s talk about it—because when we understand the why, we start to change the how.Books on Attachment: Attached by Dr. Amir Levine The New Rules of Attachment by Dr. Judy HoAnxiously Attached by Jessica Baum, LMHCThe Anxious Hearts Guide by Rikki Cloys**You can find these books on Amazon**Creators on social media that I found helpful on my journey:Dr. Sarah Hensley (She is on all platforms). Her website is thelovedoc.comMack (on TikTok)Jbirdfit (On all platforms)Natashavctoria (TikTok)Anxious Hearts Guide (TikTok and IG) (She was anxious and her partner was dismissive avoidant and they now have a healthy relationship)

Why do some people seem so emotionally distant—even in relationships they care deeply about?In this episode, Kelli and I are talking all about the dismissive avoidant attachment style—what it looks like, where it comes from, and how it quietly shapes our closest relationships. Whether you've been on the receiving end of someone's emotional walls, or you're realizing you might be the one who pulls away when things get too close, this conversation is for you.We’ll unpack:What dismissive avoidant attachment actually is (spoiler: it’s not coldness—it’s self-protection).The key traits that often show up in real life.Why dismissive avoidants do care, even if it doesn’t always look like it.What it’s like to love or live with someone who keeps their heart guarded.And yes—what healing can look like, with time, safety, and grace.We’ll also share a few “This might sound like you if…” moments that may hit close to home, along with gentle reflection questions to help you go deeper.If you’ve ever felt like emotional closeness is overwhelming—or if you love someone who seems to push you away—this episode will offer clarity, compassion, and a little hope that change is possible.Books on Attachment: Attached by Dr. Amir Levine The New Rules of Attachment by Dr. Judy HoAnxiously Attached by Jessica Baum, LMHCThe Anxious Hearts Guide by Rikki Cloys**You can find these books on Amazon**Creators on social media that I found helpful on my journey:Dr. Sarah Hensley (She is on all platforms). Her website is thelovedoc.comMack (on TikTok)Jbirdfit (On all platforms)Natashavctoria (TikTok)Anxious Hearts Guide (TikTok and IG) (She was anxious and her partner was dismissive avoidant and they now have a healthy relationship)

If you're new around here—welcome! In this episode, Kelli flips the script and asks me the questions, so you can get to know the heart behind Breaking the Silence. From the grief that shaped me, to how I found healing, to why I started this podcast and what drives my work today—we’re pulling back the curtain. This conversation is honest, fun, and full of little pieces of my story that I hope will help you feel less alone in yours.

In this honest, heart-to-heart conversation, Kelli and I open up about something so many of us wrestle with—the urge to run when relationships start to feel too close. We talk about the stories we’ve told ourselves for years… like “I’m too much,” “I’m not worthy,” or “I’'m unloveable.”From attachment styles to the beliefs that quietly shape how we show up (or shut down), we explore what’s underneath our patterns—and how healing begins when we stop running from ourselves.If you’ve ever felt like you push people away just when things start to feel safe—or questioned if you’re even worthy of the love you long for—this episode is for you. You’re not alone, and there’s a better way forward. 💛

This week’s episode is a special one—it’s the beginning of a new chapter. I’m not doing this alone anymore. Today, I’m introducing you to someone who’s been behind the scenes in my story for years: my best friend, my safe space, and now… my co-host. Kelli and I have walked through deep grief, big transitions, healing, and lots of laughter—and now we’re bringing our friendship to the mic. We’re sharing the story of how we met, how we’ve held space for each other through life’s hardest seasons, and why we believe healing happens best in community. You’ll laugh, maybe cry, and walk away knowing that you are not alone either.

This one’s real and raw, friend. I sat down with tears in my eyes and a heart wide open, processing my deep desire to be a constant, steady, safe place for the people I love—just like God has been for me. What if we could be that anchor for others in the middle of their chaos… not trying to fix them, but simply being present? In this episode, I explore about what it looks like to love others —steadily, faithfully, and without conditions—even when life gets messy. If you’ve ever wanted to be someone’s calm in the storm, this one’s for you.

Today, I’m sitting with my sweet friend Laura, who’s walking through something no one is ever truly prepared for. Just three months ago, her husband went to heaven after some major life changes. After 28 years of marriage, she never expected to carry the title “widow.” In this honest and tender conversation, Laura shares what it’s been like to lose the love of her life—and how she’s learning to take the next breath, one day at a time. We talk about love, loss, identity, and the grace that shows up in the quietest places. If you’ve ever had to keep living after life turned upside down, this episode is for you. It’s tender, raw, and real—because sometimes, healing begins when we finally break the silence."Grief is the price of deep love—but even in the ache, God is near. He’s not asking you to have it all figured out. Just to take the next step, and then the next. You’re not alone in the dark—there’s grace for this part of the journey too."When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. — Isaiah 43:2You can connect further with Laura on the following platforms:IGhttps://www.instagram.com/voice_unbound?igsh=MWcxNzJidDNjdmJtcA%3D%3D&utm_source=qrFacebookhttps://www.facebook.com/VoiceUnboundCoaching?mibextid=LQQJ4dWebsitehttps://voiceunboundcoaching.com YouTube https://youtube.com/@lauraardwellnesslifecoachingTIKTOKhttps://www.tiktok.com/@laura.ard1?_t=8nbkhor6pqd&_r=1Laura has also extended an offer to each of you for a free resource:Five day journal prompt “Faith and Trauma”. sent to your email each morning Click here https://voiceunboundcoaching.com/homehttps://voiceunboundcoaching.com/home

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Gina Nichols — certified life coach, dynamic speaker, and the visionary founder of Divorce: Redefined. After walking through the heartache of three divorces and raising a beautifully blended family, Gina made a powerful decision: her story wouldn’t end in pain. Instead, she transformed it into purpose. Now, she helps high-achieving women stop letting divorce define them and start creating the life they were always meant to live.Gina shares her personal journey and introduces us to her B.O.L.D. Framework — the foundation of her transformational work — guiding women to heal, reclaim their identity, and boldly embrace their next chapter. If you’ve ever wondered how to rise from the ashes of a relationship and become more yourself than ever before, this conversation is for you.If you'd like to connect further with Gina you can go to her website at ginanicholscoaching.com, as well as on Facebook @ Gina Yaklich Nichols & Instagram @ginanicholscoaching.If you found value in this episode please be sure to like, share, subscribe and leave a review.

What do you do when life shatters around you? When the very people who were supposed to love and protect you are the ones who cause the deepest wounds?In this powerful episode of Breaking the Silence, I sit down with Dana Hildebrand, a Licensed Professional Counselor and Transformational Faith-Based Life Coach, who knows firsthand what it means to feel abandoned, broken, and lost. After enduring the trauma of sexual abuse and the devastating heartbreak of her husband walking out on her and their newborn, Dana’s pain led her to a breaking point—one that landed her in the hospital.But her story didn’t end there. Through faith, resilience, and a relentless pursuit of healing, Dana found her way back—stronger, freer, and with a purpose to help others do the same.If you’ve ever felt trapped by your past, if trauma has made you question your worth, or if you’re searching for hope in the middle of your own storm, this episode is for you. You are not alone. Healing is possible. And Dana’s story is living proof that even the most shattered hearts can be made whole again.Tune in, be encouraged, and take the next step toward your own healing journey. 💜To connect further with Dana you can find her on Instagram @danahildebrand.

There were days I questioned why—why I had to walk through loss, why the road felt so heavy, why life had to change in ways I never wanted. Maybe you’ve felt that too. But here’s what I know now: God has placed me, and you, exactly where we’re meant to be. Even in the pain, even in the uncertainty, there is purpose. You are a light in someone’s darkness. Your story, your presence, your voice—it matters more than you realize. Someone out there needs the hope you carry, the wisdom you’ve gained, the life you can speak into them. Don’t hold back. Show up. Shine. You have no idea the impact you’re making. Let’s talk about stepping boldly into the calling God has placed on our lives.Please leave a review, follow and share this with someone that needs to hear this message. Help me to reach others with my story.

After a few months away, I’m back—and I have so much to share. In this episode, I open up some about the hard season I’ve been walking through, the time I took to pray, and the unexpected beauty that has emerged even in the midst of it all. Sometimes, stepping back is exactly what we need to move forward. Join me as I share my heart, life updates, and the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

As we wrap up 2024, I’m taking a step back from the podcast for the remainder of the year. This break is a time to reflect, recharge, and prepare for what’s to come. I’ll be back in 2025, though I’m not quite sure of the exact date yet. Thank you for being part of this journey, and I can’t wait to connect with you again in the new year. Wishing you a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and a season filled with love and joy. See you soon! ❤️

Hey friend, if you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of victimhood, like life’s circumstances have defined who you are or what you’re capable of, this episode is for you. Today, we’re having an honest heart-to-heart about how easy it is to get caught up in that story—and how it’s not the end of the road. I want to remind you (and myself!) that we get to decide to choose something different. God isn’t done with us, no matter how far we’ve wandered. He still has purpose in our pain, and our story can still be turned into something beautiful.I hope this conversation sparks something deep inside you, that you feel the urgency to take action and step into the life you were made for. And if you know someone who’s struggling to break free from their own story, share this episode with them. Let’s encourage each other to rise up and live in the freedom we’re meant to have. It’s never too late for God to make something beautiful out of our mess.Grab a cup of coffee, and let's talk about it.